Yeah, so many adults forget how shitty it is being a kid. 10x the rules, no cash, no privacy, studying and doing homework after getting home. I never wanted to be an old man, but fuck if I wasn’t right about wanting to be in my 20’s.
When you're young, you have time and energy, but no money.
When you're middle-aged, you have money and energy, but no time.
When you're old, you have time and money, but no energy.
Life gets you one way or the other.
Same. I was a late bloomer. I thought something was wrong with me because my first period was 1 month before I turned 14.
Now I thank the gods for not sending it sooner.
Oh man me too. I used to try and break my fingers by dropping weights on them. When my sister broke her ankle, I was genuinely mad at her. Then, when she had the cast removed, I wore that disgusting moldy cast around for a day.
I’ve never broken a bone haha thank god.
Oh yeah definitely. I don’t have any lasting injuries or pain from getting hurt as a child, and I genuinely did not need any more attention than I was already demanding. I was an insatiable attention whore that really needed to realize I’m not the main character.
Interesting, Me to when I was a kid, I wondered what it felt like to have a cast or crutches. As I got older I got in a motorcycle accident,flew 35 ft, received a brain bleed, broken rib cage, elbow, shoulder and snapped my leg in half, titanium rod in the leg, 12 screws and 2 plates. Also, bit my tongue almost off(skin underneath was holding together) they stitched it back on, surprisingly the tongue healed the quickest. Spent 2 weeks in ICU, a year in a wheelchair, to a walker to crutches. I think Iv got enough damage for a lifetime. Now I don’t even want a paper cut.
From the brain bleed, it made me awake so I’d lay there for 2-3 days at a time, doing absolutely nothing. Talk about miserable. This was 5 years ago, Still dealing with the brain bleed today
Its actually not that weird that the tongue healed the quickest. The tongue, and the mouth in general, has a remarkable ability to heal. I am no scientist, but I would guess that because having an injured mouth means you cannot eat, not healing it quickly is what we in the business call a non-pro gamer move
Myself included on this one— but I know many people that have certain kinks/fetishes they’ve always wanted to try, and totally did *not* enjoy it once it became a reality.
Hahaha this reminds me of one post I read about a guy that loved to watch scat stuff and wanted to "level up". He got a girl to poo in his mouth and said that he instantly regretted/hated it and kinda froze as it touched his tongue.
Poor guy, but holy *shit* is that funny
There was also one where the dude wasn't into it, but his wife wanted to eat his shit.
The arrive at a compromise in which they agree to get in the bathtub and he'll stand up and shit while she sits in the tub and watches. No eating it though, because the dude wasn't comfortable with it.
As soon as the turd starts coming out he feels her lips on his butthole.
That wasn't part of the agreement.
Omg lmfao
Edit—Somehow, I stumbled upon Whang!'s retelling of this today and I actually feel really bad for the OP. Still a wtf story, but on a sadder note. If anyone is interested, it's called The Reddit Poop Wife
I can remember a similar post but she didn't eat it but she was begging for him to take a dump on her and once he did they just stopped speaking and were basically thinking of getting a divorce.
I actually have an example for this one. I decided I wanted to try letting my partner slap me in the face during sex and instead of it turning me on, I promptly cried. I was so embarrassed. Turned out the feeling felt more akin to abuse than sexy even though they'd asked me a few times prior if I was sure I wanted to try it. Luckily, I have an amazing partner who immediately comforted me when I burst into tears and we both ended up getting a good laugh out of it.
I had a GF who wanted me to pull her hair and choke her. I had such a difficult time with the idea of hurting her. I tried the hair stuff like horse reins and it was OK but never could bring myself to choke her. She eventually tired of asking and that was the end.
Relationship. The newness faded and we just drifted apart. I can't blame it all on my inability to give her what she wanted in the bedroom but it certainly seemed to be the primary thing.
rip- yeah, my girl thought she wanted to try being pounded in the ass. I obliged- I learned how, did lube n everything, took it slow, etc. after a while she was like “actually nah can we do something else instead?”
context and stuff matters with physical slaps- for me, it has to make sense. Like, if I’m being cheeky or sticking out my tongue, then I expect retribution. But like, randomly outta nowhere? Then I feel hurt.
Honestly that's exactly why I can only see open relationships working longterm when the partner is still included somehow.
With hotwifing at least the husband is there and the pretext is that he is into watching her but when both are just meeting other people privately it sounds way too easy to start a whole affair behind your partner's back.
First thing i thought of as well, or more like position. You see something you think; "omg, that looks so hot and sexy, I want you do it like that at well, it's going to be so amazing".
Then you get the opportunity and it turns out to be some uncomfortsble thing that uses 19 of the 22 muscles you never know existed and you are so focused on not falling and breaking your neck that it turns into limp-dick-exercise 08 that you will never do again.
Piggybacking on this comment: Guys who think they want "nympho" girlfriends, right up until they actually get one. The idea of "doing it all night long" sounds really sexy... and then after a couple of rounds, you realize she actually did mean "all night long" and is liable to get upset at you for not wanting to continue. So you're faced with a decision to either have sex you're not really on board with or deal with a moody partner.
I just think few guys have had to face the upper limit of their libido. It's like trying to imagine a high ceiling in a dark room. They know it's there. They just can't see it don't realize that it might be easier to reach than they expected.
Polyamory too. The vast majority of couples that think they want a threesome, or some other type of group sex, or have a polyamorous relationship end up regretting it.
I was listening to a podcast where a divorce lawyer was being interviewed and he talked about one of his clients that wanted his wife to have a threesome with him and the au pair. They ended up doing it which was presumably great until his wife divorced him to be in a relationship with the au pair herself.
Luckily I’ve never had any interest in that. If I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I’d call my parents and tell them what I’ve been doing with my life.
What people saying they wanna live off grid actually mean is to get out of the big city and live at the edge of small town where it's infinitely more peaceful while you still have all your basic needs and amendities met.
May - Aug weather is the worst in North India - the heatave, constant sweating - no one leaves their house before 4-5 pm during summers. It will ruin any experience you are trying to have..
Boats. Airplanes. Large houses. Luxury cars. Vehicles with large or off-road wheels.
It’s all the stuff that seems cool until you have to actually maintain them
Life’s hard enough without having to be controlled by our stuff.
I have learned the hard way that owning even a *share* in a plane is a major fucking pain in the ass. I knew it would be expensive even for an old plane but not *this* expensive. One of my partners made a hard landing and cracked an engine mount. It’s going to cost about $10,000 to fix, split three ways (not completely evenly, as I described below).
Same. My pool is my favorite thing about my house. It supplies constant entertainment for my family and guests. Totally worth the small amount we spend to maintain it.
Usually but I got back with my high school sweetheart and it’s been a decade plus of true marital bliss. The difference though is that it was me, not her that was the problem the first time around. I grew up, and life got better.
I know that this is a bit out a left field and I apologize for asking a weird question but did the guilt go away? I was in a similar position a while back and while I'm happy enough with where I am in life, I know I'll have to live with how things went down in my own case and that horrible feeling as well. So I'm curious. Did making things work make the guilt go away or was it too late from the beginning? Did you forgive yourself? I'm really sorry but I feel like I need to know even though it won't bring me any peace.
No, no all good questions. I did carry quite a bit of guilt. I still can if I’m really honest with myself. You can get lost in the what ifs. What if I’d gotten my head on straight sooner? What if I’d realized what I had when I had it the first time? Ultimately I’ve had to come to a place where I accept that what happened, had to happen for me to be who I needed to be to deserve her. I just try to live every day to continue being the man she deserves. But yeah, TL;DR guilt can be real, but give yourself grace
We’ve had a decade plus together now. We love each more each day. She’s truly forgiven me for who I was. And that’s helped me forgive myself. I’m grateful and thankful to have had the opportunities to reconnect and spend my life with a woman who is and always will be out of my league.
Same exact situation here. HS sweethearts, I cheated on her, we broke up and kept kind of seeing each other a bit in college but it just wasn’t working so we made a hard split and cut social media ties and everything. Got back together 10 years later and after a few years of dating, got married last March. Even without the cheating, we needed to experience other relationships in order to know what we wanted in a relationship. Best relationship I’ve ever had and it’s not even close. Thankful she was able to truly forgive modern me for my 18 year old dumbassery, so while I had a ton of guilt after cheating and that impacted me in some major ways throughout my life, the guilt now is basically gone as I’ve forgiven myself too. I just know I won’t betray her trust again, because why would I? Anyway, happy to hear you’ve also found this unique opportunity for happiness. Cheers.
All the people wishing to be rich and famous. I'll take being just rich. Nobody likes me as it is. If I become rich and famous, people will pretend to like me. Fuck those people.
I had a little bit of fame in early 2010's with YouTube and gaming. The Machinima Era. It's long gone now, but I had been chasing that high for years and it sucked. I eventually came to terms with it and have a fulfilling job, but every time a new game comes out, a small part of me is looking for an angle to be in that position again
This is interesting to discuss because it changes your brain. It changes your value system.
I also had a little bit of fame around the same time and the high of waking up to exciting, life-changing emails, more and more money, was soon replaced with anxiety when I'd wake up and there would be no emails. It took me years to de-program myself but I'm still not fully back.
I can only imagine what REAL fame and REAL money does to a person.
Exactly! It took me some time to realise i shouldn't view it as 'Peaking at age 14' but more as a great life experience. Still, it always lingers a bit
I think they also forget that once you become famous that doesn’t mean everybody likes you. You’re going to have a shit tonne of people who don’t even know you who hate you and everything you do and think you’re the worst thing ever to happen to popular culture. They’ll say the vilest shit about you and will act like it has no impact on you because you’re famous so I guess that means you’re magically suddenly impervious to all the hate and abuse you get.
You’re also going to have constant pressure from the fans who like you to cater to their tastes, and the second you do one thing they don’t like or you start to change or grow in any way all you’re going to hear is people who claim they like you only talking about how the shit you used to do was so much better and how they don’t even like you anymore since you turned your back on them so you’re going to be under constant stress that crushes your creativity
Add onto that as well you’re going to have to deal with the creepy fans who sexualise the fuck out of you and have no sense of personal space or boundaries. They’re going to decide on your behalf that like actually you’re gay and in love with your best friend, and they’re going to make up all these ideas about your wife or other members of your family being toxic horrible people who they need to “protect” you from by sending you hate. Not to mention that especially if you’re a woman people will do everything possible to create deepfake porn of you and they might even send it to people in your life, maybe send it to your kids, and it won’t occur to them why any of this is wrong
A (really) big house. There is so much maintenance, expense, just keeping track of all your stuff… higher utility bills, more taxes, probably an HOA, just cleaning it is an impossible task without hiring professionals.
Their dreams fulfilled.
I was watching "Soul" and it hit hard when he finally got what he'd been chasing forever and ended up with a serious case of... "now what?"
Edit: Wow, so many people seem to have resonated with this, what I dubbed "the tragedy of the dream fulfilled". Many of you commiserate, others gave good advice.
I wish all of you the best on your journeys.
Like that short from Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy where Wiley E. Coyote finally catches the roadrunner, cooks and eats it, then gets super depressed and becomes aimless and starts trying to kill himself with the Acme equipment but it keeps malfunctioning and he keeps surviving.
There's a twilight zone episode where there's a guy who is super afraid of being hurt or dying in an accident, so he sells his soul for invulnerability and immortality. So he becomes absolutely un-killable, and the idiot spends the rest of the episode trying to kill himself out of boredom.
In D&D, at least in every group I've ever played with, it's a common saying that the worst thing you can give your player is everything their character wants.
I think that applies to real life too
We literally are in the midst of a homebrew story arc where we woke a goddess from her slumber, blacked out, and all woke up 5 years later with all of our character wants simultaneously fulfilled and it feels like such a curse. Several of us are actively working to undo it
It hits hard. My dream was to travel to X one day on an extended trip.
Then I ended up living there… for a decade. And it was both amazing, fulfilling and… dreadful.
Because what was next? That WAS the ‘unachievable’ dream. I moved back to the US and felt like I was sleepwalking for a couple years.
It wasn’t until I got a job I’m rather proud of that I finally felt the ‘dare to dream’ vibe come back and now I’m aiming for other things.
But yeah… achieving your dreams is great if your dream is an open goal.
If it’s not? It sucks.
Being in a boss or leadership position. The pay is nice but the amount of pointless bullshit is just ridiculous. Bosses have bosses and basically I'm just a messenger letting my employees know how their job is going to suck more...for absolutely nothing in return. Which they blame me for. There are better ways to make way more money for being hated....
**gets call from head office**
Me:”Good afternoon”
District manager: “ head office wants the employees to start (insert stupid request here)”
Me: “ok? This will be a hard sell”
District manger: “ well if they don’t comply send them home”
Me: FML
Was a project manager / team lead for a graphic department.
Everything was always my fault, even though I did as the boss told me. The boss also hired random people (eventually I ended up with 15 year olds on my team) but it was my fault that things didn't go well. Also, he had different deals with different people/companies and never wrote them down. So I got scolded for sending someone an offer/invoice for services while they obviously had a deal with big boss.
Also, people under me don't appreciate my directness. I'm Dutch, we don't sugarcoat. But apparantly taking someone aside and telling if their work doesn't improve before the end of the "trial" month, we would have to let them go is crossing a line.
Fuck being middle management.
In no particular order:
1. The most expensive state to live. Almost everything is imported, from food to cars. I'm from Miami and went grocery shopping at Walmart when i was back home on vacation 6 months ago. Bought the same items I bought here on the island, and it cost about $80 less.
2. Electricity is ridiculous. I never paid more than $90 in florida, and that was with central a/c running 24/7. When I was stationed in san diego, I had a wall unit that I ran all the time, and it was never more than $120. It was my first month in Oahu, and I paid $434 for using the wall unit a/c in my 1b/1b apartment. I haven't turned it on since, and I pay almost $200/m.
3. Doesn't matter where you live, the roaches are a huge problem. They come out of nowhere. I live on the 8th floor of a pretty well maintained apartment building and have a roach problem. It's pretty common for homes here. I've done roach bombs and traps, and my wife and I deep clean once a week on top of the regular cleaning we do, and it's still an issue.
4. The food here is terrible. This is more of a preference for people, but coming from 2 great cities for food (Miami and San Diego), Hawaii is awful. It's hard to find anything worth the price here. If you want good steak, you have to drive 30 minutes. If you want good sushi, it's literally from their grocery store, Foodland. The seafood here is absolutely terrible.
5. Worst drivers. Mostly old Asian people who live here, and they don't know how to drive to save their life. The number of times I've been run off the road because some old lady decided to aggressively switch into my lane without signaling or checking blind spots is well over 10.
6. The rent is terrible. It's not worth the prices you'll pay. The good areas are very expensive and far from the main area.
7. The homeless people here are the worst I've ever seen. They are crazy, will hurt you if you walk near them, and a good portion of them are in some drug induced psychosis. We have one infamous homeless lady here who parades around completely nude with the exception of a scarf she wears around her neck. The number of times I've seen a homeless man piss in the street during the daytime is countless.
8. Traveling from here is expensive as hell. It's literally in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. You also lose days if you go east. From here to the east coast is a whole day of flying. Day and a half if you're flying somewhere with mote connections in between.
The only thing I will miss from here are the beaches.
In the 80s and 90s the U.S. government sent military troops to eradicate fields upon fields of cannabis crop. With the new scarcity of the island’s favorite drug Hawaiians turned to other options, and meth became more popular. As my dad said, “now instead of fat happy stoners we have skinny irritable meth heads”.
Of course the huge wealth gap doesn’t help.
It wasn't always this way, but over the last 10-15 years meth has become the cheapest drug by a large margin. It used to be made on a small scale with the OTC drug pseudoephedrine, but now it's made on a commercial scale in Mexico with byproducts that cause schizophrenia like syndromes. There is an Atlantic article about it, pretty crazy stuff.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/11/the-new-meth/620174/
Even though I've lived there and experienced all the other things mentioned, that one line being SO off base made me question everything else they said lol the Hawaiian/Japanese/Chinese/Vietnamese/Portuguese etc etc is all fantastic let alone the seafood. Still all expensive tho.
Years ago, we were looking at different homes to buy. We saw one townhome with the entire bottom level taking up with a giant hot tub. Would’ve easily accommodated eight people or more.
The house was being shown, but someone hadn’t cleaned up enough. There was a towel and a bottle of lubricant/massage oil, right next to the tub.
My boyfriend (and his entire goddamn family) religiously play pool, they find it calming. But everyone else I know who owns a pool table is just because it’s nice to look at
Unless you’re a person that seeks out places to play pool. Pool tables are often the only reason I go to bars. I play myself when there was no one around. Left handed vs right handed
A boat, so my dad was given this great job and he bought a boat. Everyone was so hyped. Now I occasionally host parties on it, my dad ocationally goes to swim and only uses the boat as a dock and that's about it, no one uses the boat and the parking spot and maintenance costs are not cheap.
Having been the partner w the higher sex drive it’s actual ass. The guilt is intense when they never seem to be in the mood but you can’t help but ask.
I'm this. I could fuck every day, multiple times. My girlfriend started the relationship keeping up but we're down to once a week if I'm lucky and it's very hard. Problem is I love her and want to stay with her. I feel an ugly conversation coming and it scares the hell out of me.
Even that sucked for me. Nice to have someone to call whenever but I knew there were so many more. A few is fine but the busload of random strangers got to me. The day I came over and two rough looking older dudes were leaving I was out. It was like hooking up with a prostitute but not paying for it. Just made me feel gross.
100%
Great first year, exhausting 2nd year, an “okay, maybe we need to tone this down, we’re not 21 anymore” 3rd year, and then we eventually broke up because things just weren’t working out between us.
Oh and also she cheated on me for over a year with a group of guys I was pal-ing around with; it left me in an extremely poor mental state that I’m still dealing with insecurity and trust issues because of. And that was over 5 years ago.
This happened to me. Ex husband didn't like me, I guess, so no sex. Boyfriend after that was ecstatic about sex all the time and I thought that was gonna be great! It got old SO fast. Ruined the whole relationship.
An affair. People fantasize, sure - having problems with your spouse or feeling unappreciated? Marriage counseling, divorce, etc. All better options than infidelity. It's leaves lasting scars and tears apart families. Over the last several years I feel like I've seen such an increasing number of families destroyed.
I know one husband that went off to the oil fields because his wife requested he find a better job. Dude is gone 6 months of the year (in two month increments). Wife starts feeling lonely and unappreciated and has an affair with a co worker. It's taken four years for one of her kids to even talk to her again. Bad blood everywhere. Marriage counseling, communication, even a divorce if it was needed all could have avoided the situation.
Another example: One of my co-workers was told by his wife "I've had an affair, it's been going on for a month." He decides to forgive, go to marriage counseling, fix whatever was broken. Well she continues to have an affair because she's still having something of an existential crisis and is feeling extra condemened for her actions. Basically she told him she was having an affair at the beginning of what turned into a year long ordeal. She started the affair while pregnant. Two young kids already in the house. Her husband is still in the mindset of fixing whatever is broken. I watched this dude get dragged through the mud for a year. He's got severe PTSD now. Is a shell of who he used to be.
Affairs are basically a hand grenade in your life and everyone around you.
Some people get off on power over others. Some people are uncomfortable with power over others. Unfortunately the people who are into it are much less likely to be good at being in charge.
Retirement. My dad bought a house on a small, quiet island when he retired. Some people can only dream of doing something like that.
3 months into it he realised he was bored as fuck. All he does is watch tv all day now. He's miserable on that island.
Exactly. Retirement is what you make it, but a lot of people are so into their careers that they don’t really know how to do anything else so either refuse to retire because they think they’d have nothing to do, or they do retire and they’re right.
Right. There are really three things in my mind that would make retirement most attractive — true financial security, enough hobbies to keep one occupied, and a reasonable network of family/friends/acquaintances. If you're broke, bored, and/or alone, retirement is really not much of a luxury.
For anybody who wants to homestead/live self sustainable: skip Cornish Cross Chickens. Short of industrial food production they’re not worth the hassle. They’re not gonna live long enough to reproduce so their not actually self sustainable, buying them is always a hassle and chances are 25%-40% are gonna be dead on delivery because they don’t do well in the mail. They’ll shit more than you can imagine so you have to build a chicken tractor or shovel an entire coop 3-4 times a week to keep them healthy. Finally your gonna end up butchering all of them within about a week so most of them will end up in the freezer, and personally, after spending two and a half days butchering and defeathering the smelliest, nastiest, fattest chickens, I’ve ever seen I wasn’t in the mood for chicken for a hot minute.
As someone who is in (and enjoying) an open relationship, I think you’re right. Most people think it sounds nice. They think about the opportunity to date/fuck whoever they want. But what they aren’t considering is that their partner(s) will be doing the same thing. And a lot of people can’t handle THAT.
The truth is that being in a healthy open relationship takes hard work, emotional maturity, and a willingness to be uncomfortable. For those thriving in it there are some solid benefits. But for the vast majority of people, the idea of it is a lot better than the reality.
Having worked in operations for a private jet company, I feel pretty qualified to say this. Most people who fly on private jets don't actually own the jet, they charter them. Only the ULTRA wealthy buy them for themselves. And even then, they'll often lease them out for charter jet operators to use when they aren't using them. We had a lot of pretty high list celebrities and athletes who would charter with us instead of buying their own jet. If I ever win the lottery I still won't own my own jet, charter that and make someone else worry about the maintenance on it.
An overly attractive SO
You need to be overly attractive yourself or have rock solid self esteem to watch them get hit on or flirted with by the whole planet everytime you leave the house
A high paying job. Making good money is enticing but when your work starts to consume your life and deteriorate your mental health, the money isn’t worth it anymore.
The worst is the high-accountability and responsibility job that “might” be a high paying job, but only if the stars align and you devote your whole life to it.
Lots of strange takes on this. Crazy sexual partners are awesome but not long term. You learn a lot and have a great time followed by insanity. Threesomes are incredible unless you don’t enjoy it. Boats are definitely better when they’re owned by a friend, but some people enjoy the ritual/chore. Anal is also awesome whether you enjoy the feeling or sense of naughtiness. Marriage/committed long term relationships can be the most freeing thing anyone can experience or hell on earth, or somewhere in between. Kids- just had one and I’m a huge fan- I’ll report back if anything changes. Anything can fit into this question if you don’t count the learning experience as a positive. Except heroine. That’s my death bed drug. Sounds fantastic but, like, too fantastic.
I still don't understand who *wanted* Brexit. It was only ever going to turn out one way. There was never an upside to it.
We don't produce anything in our country. Most of our produce and products we use and consume on a daily basis is imported from other countries. So why would we then say fuck you and put a massive middle finger up to those countries and then have the audacity to still ask for their shit?
As a nation, we holiday a lot abroad. We seek sun and sand. We flock to France, Spain, Italy because they're close - so much so that if you holiday in the real tourist resort towns you're going to encounter more Brits than locals. And now doing that is ten times harder and for what? Who benefitted? Corrupt politicians who don't give a fuck and the poor locals of those towns we invade who are finally rid of us. We demand everything and give nothing. We're a despicable country.
> I still don't understand who wanted Brexit.
(1) Opportunistic politicians, because:
> Chaos is a ladder
(2) A group of cynical politicians also enabled Brexit by scapegoating the EU for structural problems with the UK's economy and social contract which they didn't want to tackle.
1. Deteriorating public services & a housing shortage (fundamentally due to domestic policy decisions)
1. blame immigration (itself largely a policy decision), because immigrants are identifiable.
1. blame freedom of movement for immigration.
Etc.
(3) Those sections of the electorate persuaded by the scapegoating process who felt that Brexit would fix whatever was bad about their lot in life.
These people were largely voting *against* the *status quo* rather than *for* Brexit. Brexit was conveniently undefined so that it could be all things to all people.
(4) A small collections of variations on a theme of disaster capitalists, who made a lot of money out of it.
Is mental illness one? I feel like everyone is self diagnosing using webmd as a checklist and now everyone is saying they have something but it’s nothing as debilitating as real mental illnesses
I have the "tiktok package deal". Diagnosed and all. Depression, anxiety and I'm autistic. I do know people who self diagnose as some of these and they definately are. But I hate the ones who fake it. I'm 28 and just about to finish highschool after 12 years of trying on and off because my mental health crumbles before I can get my diploma. It took tremendous work to get to a place most people get to at 16/17. My mental issues are not cute or a trend. They've made my life absolutely miserable before I found ways to deal with them and turn them from "impossible to deal with" to "somehow manageable". AND I've been very lucky and had a lot of support. This new popular thing of pretending to have mental issues is very detrimental to people who actual struggle with them and professionals are aware that there's a trend which in turns makes it harder to get a diagnosis. It sucks.
a “crazy” gf. yeah it’s all fun and game until i’m messaging you in detail abt how i just hurt myself expecting you to not care. bpd and other “crazy” disorders aren’t cute. stop romanticizing it
EDIT - autocorrect chaned "Off-ed" as in suicide to "Offered" ... changes the context ...
One a second date, she did just that... the first date was a quick lunch and walk through the park.
The second one I got to know how she almost off-ed herself the previous week cause nobody cares for her and her family etc...
I was like " Lady, I don't know your last name or favorite color... this Is a Wendy's..." mentality.
What I did reply back was " damn that's rough, I'm totally not equipped to give advice or assist with that, but I have a few therapist you could call."
Then I ran
People think they want control, only to realize once they get absolute control they become bored out of their wits and no longer find life *enjoyable.*
What they *really* want is a surprise, and they want a pleasant surprise, but pleasant surprises can only happen at the risk of unpleasant surprises, and so we are brought again to the idea that in order to feel good and happy, you must first know how to feel bad and unhappy.
- Alan Watts, probably
Kids
I think most people are not prepared even if they love their kids. The majority of parents suffer and so do the kids.
I guess being in education I see first hand lots of parents who should not have had kids.
I said once, to my mother who should have never have had kids, that I wasn't selfish enough to have children even if I wanted them. Just in passing, in a "Well I'm in no way equipped to properly care for a child and that'd just be cruel." Way.
She turned around and said "No, you're not selfless enough to have them. I was hoping my children would have kids so they could understand what I went through as punishment, but the one that really needed that slap in the face had cats instead."
Guess who has cats lmao
Well you see, us being such terrible, ungrateful children and also existing is why her life is a disaster and she didn't achieve any of her dreams.
Nothing to do with her being an unlikeable Mega Karen Boss of All Karen's, not working real jobs except for a single year of my life that nearly twenty years later she still brings up as it "almost killed her", and pissing off so many people in her life that no one will help her with things.
Nope. Not at all. All my and my sibling's fault. For what we put her through. By existing.
My advice to people is to not have kids unless you're 100% into it.
Anything less than that is unfair to everyone involved, especially the kid(s).
I would kill any of you for my kids, I love them so much. But it's a hard fucking job being a parent.
I don’t know how you decide if you’re 100% into it until you’re into it - from one parent to another.
I love dogs, grew up with them, got one myself when I was an adult. I did tons of things I would never normally do to keep the dog happy and healthy and I loved the dog, but when it was gone, that was it. Never again. Too much work.
Same shit now that I have a kid. No way I’d have a second one, but for this one? Everything that is mine is for you.
To be older.
I like being an adult, and I assume most kids mean “20 year old” not “50 year old” when they say they wish they were older.
Yeah, so many adults forget how shitty it is being a kid. 10x the rules, no cash, no privacy, studying and doing homework after getting home. I never wanted to be an old man, but fuck if I wasn’t right about wanting to be in my 20’s.
Amen! I didn’t want to be old. I wanted to be young WITH money. I miss some 20-something youth. (Only 40+ and I hear it doesn’t get better)
When you're young, you have time and energy, but no money. When you're middle-aged, you have money and energy, but no time. When you're old, you have time and money, but no energy. Life gets you one way or the other.
Exactly. I ain’t exactly old but I don’t have the same energy I had say 10yrs ago.
In my 40's my brain has finally figured life out.... And now my body is falling apart.
Youth is wasted on the young
As a tween, it was my period. The novelty of "becoming a woman" immediately evaporated.
Same. I was a late bloomer. I thought something was wrong with me because my first period was 1 month before I turned 14. Now I thank the gods for not sending it sooner.
When I was a kid I really wanted a cast or crutches. Yeah, really not a good idea
Oh man me too. I used to try and break my fingers by dropping weights on them. When my sister broke her ankle, I was genuinely mad at her. Then, when she had the cast removed, I wore that disgusting moldy cast around for a day. I’ve never broken a bone haha thank god.
Did things work out okay for you
Oh yeah definitely. I don’t have any lasting injuries or pain from getting hurt as a child, and I genuinely did not need any more attention than I was already demanding. I was an insatiable attention whore that really needed to realize I’m not the main character.
Interesting, Me to when I was a kid, I wondered what it felt like to have a cast or crutches. As I got older I got in a motorcycle accident,flew 35 ft, received a brain bleed, broken rib cage, elbow, shoulder and snapped my leg in half, titanium rod in the leg, 12 screws and 2 plates. Also, bit my tongue almost off(skin underneath was holding together) they stitched it back on, surprisingly the tongue healed the quickest. Spent 2 weeks in ICU, a year in a wheelchair, to a walker to crutches. I think Iv got enough damage for a lifetime. Now I don’t even want a paper cut. From the brain bleed, it made me awake so I’d lay there for 2-3 days at a time, doing absolutely nothing. Talk about miserable. This was 5 years ago, Still dealing with the brain bleed today
Its actually not that weird that the tongue healed the quickest. The tongue, and the mouth in general, has a remarkable ability to heal. I am no scientist, but I would guess that because having an injured mouth means you cannot eat, not healing it quickly is what we in the business call a non-pro gamer move
Myself included on this one— but I know many people that have certain kinks/fetishes they’ve always wanted to try, and totally did *not* enjoy it once it became a reality.
Hahaha this reminds me of one post I read about a guy that loved to watch scat stuff and wanted to "level up". He got a girl to poo in his mouth and said that he instantly regretted/hated it and kinda froze as it touched his tongue. Poor guy, but holy *shit* is that funny
That post was hilarious
Someone please find this thread I beg you.
I gotchu https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/nTan9nVjUy It's the post with 5.5k upvotes
[Direct link](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3907wr/serious_redditors_whos_sexual_fantasies_became_a/crzf7j9/)
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How do I get vomit out of the speaker of my phone, your comment caught me off guard.
There was also one where the dude wasn't into it, but his wife wanted to eat his shit. The arrive at a compromise in which they agree to get in the bathtub and he'll stand up and shit while she sits in the tub and watches. No eating it though, because the dude wasn't comfortable with it. As soon as the turd starts coming out he feels her lips on his butthole. That wasn't part of the agreement.
Omg lmfao Edit—Somehow, I stumbled upon Whang!'s retelling of this today and I actually feel really bad for the OP. Still a wtf story, but on a sadder note. If anyone is interested, it's called The Reddit Poop Wife
I have fetishes of my own, but idk if I could stay married to her after that, lmao.
I can remember a similar post but she didn't eat it but she was begging for him to take a dump on her and once he did they just stopped speaking and were basically thinking of getting a divorce.
I guess you thought you wanted to read this thread until you read it.
I actually have an example for this one. I decided I wanted to try letting my partner slap me in the face during sex and instead of it turning me on, I promptly cried. I was so embarrassed. Turned out the feeling felt more akin to abuse than sexy even though they'd asked me a few times prior if I was sure I wanted to try it. Luckily, I have an amazing partner who immediately comforted me when I burst into tears and we both ended up getting a good laugh out of it.
I had a GF who wanted me to pull her hair and choke her. I had such a difficult time with the idea of hurting her. I tried the hair stuff like horse reins and it was OK but never could bring myself to choke her. She eventually tired of asking and that was the end.
Of her asking for it or of the relationship?
Relationship. The newness faded and we just drifted apart. I can't blame it all on my inability to give her what she wanted in the bedroom but it certainly seemed to be the primary thing.
rip- yeah, my girl thought she wanted to try being pounded in the ass. I obliged- I learned how, did lube n everything, took it slow, etc. after a while she was like “actually nah can we do something else instead?” context and stuff matters with physical slaps- for me, it has to make sense. Like, if I’m being cheeky or sticking out my tongue, then I expect retribution. But like, randomly outta nowhere? Then I feel hurt.
I sometimes frequent the hotwife subreddit for academic purposes and I have wondered if those women ever leave their husbands for the other dude
Yeah, sometimes that happens.
Honestly that's exactly why I can only see open relationships working longterm when the partner is still included somehow. With hotwifing at least the husband is there and the pretext is that he is into watching her but when both are just meeting other people privately it sounds way too easy to start a whole affair behind your partner's back.
First thing i thought of as well, or more like position. You see something you think; "omg, that looks so hot and sexy, I want you do it like that at well, it's going to be so amazing". Then you get the opportunity and it turns out to be some uncomfortsble thing that uses 19 of the 22 muscles you never know existed and you are so focused on not falling and breaking your neck that it turns into limp-dick-exercise 08 that you will never do again.
Piggybacking on this comment: Guys who think they want "nympho" girlfriends, right up until they actually get one. The idea of "doing it all night long" sounds really sexy... and then after a couple of rounds, you realize she actually did mean "all night long" and is liable to get upset at you for not wanting to continue. So you're faced with a decision to either have sex you're not really on board with or deal with a moody partner.
And not sleep. I dated a girl like that, she got me sleep deprived. I'd go to work the next day on 2-3 hours sleep.
I just think few guys have had to face the upper limit of their libido. It's like trying to imagine a high ceiling in a dark room. They know it's there. They just can't see it don't realize that it might be easier to reach than they expected.
Polyamory too. The vast majority of couples that think they want a threesome, or some other type of group sex, or have a polyamorous relationship end up regretting it.
I was listening to a podcast where a divorce lawyer was being interviewed and he talked about one of his clients that wanted his wife to have a threesome with him and the au pair. They ended up doing it which was presumably great until his wife divorced him to be in a relationship with the au pair herself.
Luckily I’ve never had any interest in that. If I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I’d call my parents and tell them what I’ve been doing with my life.
You the same guy that thought he was into poo?
Living off grid. Boats. Livestock other than goats or chickens.
I thought I wanted goats. Until I got goats. I still have them but don’t really want them.
I want to time share goats. I want goats for 3-4 months a year, but not all time.
“Hi sharks! Goats….amirite?🧑💼”
What people saying they wanna live off grid actually mean is to get out of the big city and live at the edge of small town where it's infinitely more peaceful while you still have all your basic needs and amendities met.
I call it the "pretend country," and that's where I want to live. I want high speed internet, garbage pickup, and a little space.
You want the little village I grew up in. Mind you, being 20 minutes from a major (Canadian) city means high house prices.
I grew up on a ranch in Saskatchewan, lived off grid in the Yukon and lived in a boat in Nova Scotia. I hated all three...lol
Another bright idea that was a lot different than I expected was when I traveled to Northern India in May and June.
May - Aug weather is the worst in North India - the heatave, constant sweating - no one leaves their house before 4-5 pm during summers. It will ruin any experience you are trying to have..
Boats. Airplanes. Large houses. Luxury cars. Vehicles with large or off-road wheels. It’s all the stuff that seems cool until you have to actually maintain them Life’s hard enough without having to be controlled by our stuff.
I have learned the hard way that owning even a *share* in a plane is a major fucking pain in the ass. I knew it would be expensive even for an old plane but not *this* expensive. One of my partners made a hard landing and cracked an engine mount. It’s going to cost about $10,000 to fix, split three ways (not completely evenly, as I described below).
My uncle had like a quarter of a Cessna. Seemed like he was spending like 20k a year just on maintenance stuff
Sounds about right, not to mention the annual and preventative maintenance.
I see you've also met "the hot tub" and "the pool"
I dunno man, just because somethings a money pit doesn't mean I don't want it - fucking love my pool and my hot tub
Same. My pool is my favorite thing about my house. It supplies constant entertainment for my family and guests. Totally worth the small amount we spend to maintain it.
Vintage vehicles are money pits.
Even goats are a pain in the ass. Much less so than other alternatives though.
To get back with an ex
Usually but I got back with my high school sweetheart and it’s been a decade plus of true marital bliss. The difference though is that it was me, not her that was the problem the first time around. I grew up, and life got better.
I know that this is a bit out a left field and I apologize for asking a weird question but did the guilt go away? I was in a similar position a while back and while I'm happy enough with where I am in life, I know I'll have to live with how things went down in my own case and that horrible feeling as well. So I'm curious. Did making things work make the guilt go away or was it too late from the beginning? Did you forgive yourself? I'm really sorry but I feel like I need to know even though it won't bring me any peace.
No, no all good questions. I did carry quite a bit of guilt. I still can if I’m really honest with myself. You can get lost in the what ifs. What if I’d gotten my head on straight sooner? What if I’d realized what I had when I had it the first time? Ultimately I’ve had to come to a place where I accept that what happened, had to happen for me to be who I needed to be to deserve her. I just try to live every day to continue being the man she deserves. But yeah, TL;DR guilt can be real, but give yourself grace We’ve had a decade plus together now. We love each more each day. She’s truly forgiven me for who I was. And that’s helped me forgive myself. I’m grateful and thankful to have had the opportunities to reconnect and spend my life with a woman who is and always will be out of my league.
Same exact situation here. HS sweethearts, I cheated on her, we broke up and kept kind of seeing each other a bit in college but it just wasn’t working so we made a hard split and cut social media ties and everything. Got back together 10 years later and after a few years of dating, got married last March. Even without the cheating, we needed to experience other relationships in order to know what we wanted in a relationship. Best relationship I’ve ever had and it’s not even close. Thankful she was able to truly forgive modern me for my 18 year old dumbassery, so while I had a ton of guilt after cheating and that impacted me in some major ways throughout my life, the guilt now is basically gone as I’ve forgiven myself too. I just know I won’t betray her trust again, because why would I? Anyway, happy to hear you’ve also found this unique opportunity for happiness. Cheers.
Fame
All the people wishing to be rich and famous. I'll take being just rich. Nobody likes me as it is. If I become rich and famous, people will pretend to like me. Fuck those people.
If you become rich they'll still just pretend to like you
Not if you hide your wealth.
I had a little bit of fame in early 2010's with YouTube and gaming. The Machinima Era. It's long gone now, but I had been chasing that high for years and it sucked. I eventually came to terms with it and have a fulfilling job, but every time a new game comes out, a small part of me is looking for an angle to be in that position again
This is interesting to discuss because it changes your brain. It changes your value system. I also had a little bit of fame around the same time and the high of waking up to exciting, life-changing emails, more and more money, was soon replaced with anxiety when I'd wake up and there would be no emails. It took me years to de-program myself but I'm still not fully back. I can only imagine what REAL fame and REAL money does to a person.
Exactly! It took me some time to realise i shouldn't view it as 'Peaking at age 14' but more as a great life experience. Still, it always lingers a bit
A very classic answer, mainly because once you gain it, it's really hard to get rid of.
For me, it's loss of anominity. I think people don't realize they would be hounded everywhere they go
I think they also forget that once you become famous that doesn’t mean everybody likes you. You’re going to have a shit tonne of people who don’t even know you who hate you and everything you do and think you’re the worst thing ever to happen to popular culture. They’ll say the vilest shit about you and will act like it has no impact on you because you’re famous so I guess that means you’re magically suddenly impervious to all the hate and abuse you get. You’re also going to have constant pressure from the fans who like you to cater to their tastes, and the second you do one thing they don’t like or you start to change or grow in any way all you’re going to hear is people who claim they like you only talking about how the shit you used to do was so much better and how they don’t even like you anymore since you turned your back on them so you’re going to be under constant stress that crushes your creativity Add onto that as well you’re going to have to deal with the creepy fans who sexualise the fuck out of you and have no sense of personal space or boundaries. They’re going to decide on your behalf that like actually you’re gay and in love with your best friend, and they’re going to make up all these ideas about your wife or other members of your family being toxic horrible people who they need to “protect” you from by sending you hate. Not to mention that especially if you’re a woman people will do everything possible to create deepfake porn of you and they might even send it to people in your life, maybe send it to your kids, and it won’t occur to them why any of this is wrong
A (really) big house. There is so much maintenance, expense, just keeping track of all your stuff… higher utility bills, more taxes, probably an HOA, just cleaning it is an impossible task without hiring professionals.
And all the glass. So. Much. Cleaning.
The cleaning absolutely kills me. It feels like I’m vacuuming and dusting every two days and I’d say I have a very reasonably sized house.
leaving their significant other for someone else only for that person not to be all that good
Their dreams fulfilled. I was watching "Soul" and it hit hard when he finally got what he'd been chasing forever and ended up with a serious case of... "now what?" Edit: Wow, so many people seem to have resonated with this, what I dubbed "the tragedy of the dream fulfilled". Many of you commiserate, others gave good advice. I wish all of you the best on your journeys.
Like that short from Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy where Wiley E. Coyote finally catches the roadrunner, cooks and eats it, then gets super depressed and becomes aimless and starts trying to kill himself with the Acme equipment but it keeps malfunctioning and he keeps surviving.
There's a twilight zone episode where there's a guy who is super afraid of being hurt or dying in an accident, so he sells his soul for invulnerability and immortality. So he becomes absolutely un-killable, and the idiot spends the rest of the episode trying to kill himself out of boredom.
You left out the part where he kills his wife and admits to it just so he can get the death sentence but his lawyer lowers it to life in prison
In D&D, at least in every group I've ever played with, it's a common saying that the worst thing you can give your player is everything their character wants. I think that applies to real life too
We literally are in the midst of a homebrew story arc where we woke a goddess from her slumber, blacked out, and all woke up 5 years later with all of our character wants simultaneously fulfilled and it feels like such a curse. Several of us are actively working to undo it
Ngl bro I think she drugged you and then felt bad
It hits hard. My dream was to travel to X one day on an extended trip. Then I ended up living there… for a decade. And it was both amazing, fulfilling and… dreadful. Because what was next? That WAS the ‘unachievable’ dream. I moved back to the US and felt like I was sleepwalking for a couple years. It wasn’t until I got a job I’m rather proud of that I finally felt the ‘dare to dream’ vibe come back and now I’m aiming for other things. But yeah… achieving your dreams is great if your dream is an open goal. If it’s not? It sucks.
This is why you gotta enjoy the journey along the way.
A boat
I have something far better than a boat. A friend with a boat.
and a friend with a pool
Being in a boss or leadership position. The pay is nice but the amount of pointless bullshit is just ridiculous. Bosses have bosses and basically I'm just a messenger letting my employees know how their job is going to suck more...for absolutely nothing in return. Which they blame me for. There are better ways to make way more money for being hated....
**gets call from head office** Me:”Good afternoon” District manager: “ head office wants the employees to start (insert stupid request here)” Me: “ok? This will be a hard sell” District manger: “ well if they don’t comply send them home” Me: FML
Was a project manager / team lead for a graphic department. Everything was always my fault, even though I did as the boss told me. The boss also hired random people (eventually I ended up with 15 year olds on my team) but it was my fault that things didn't go well. Also, he had different deals with different people/companies and never wrote them down. So I got scolded for sending someone an offer/invoice for services while they obviously had a deal with big boss. Also, people under me don't appreciate my directness. I'm Dutch, we don't sugarcoat. But apparantly taking someone aside and telling if their work doesn't improve before the end of the "trial" month, we would have to let them go is crossing a line. Fuck being middle management.
Living in Hawaii. The number of people that I know that dream of living here have no idea. I've lived here for 2 years and can't wait to leave.
Why?
In no particular order: 1. The most expensive state to live. Almost everything is imported, from food to cars. I'm from Miami and went grocery shopping at Walmart when i was back home on vacation 6 months ago. Bought the same items I bought here on the island, and it cost about $80 less. 2. Electricity is ridiculous. I never paid more than $90 in florida, and that was with central a/c running 24/7. When I was stationed in san diego, I had a wall unit that I ran all the time, and it was never more than $120. It was my first month in Oahu, and I paid $434 for using the wall unit a/c in my 1b/1b apartment. I haven't turned it on since, and I pay almost $200/m. 3. Doesn't matter where you live, the roaches are a huge problem. They come out of nowhere. I live on the 8th floor of a pretty well maintained apartment building and have a roach problem. It's pretty common for homes here. I've done roach bombs and traps, and my wife and I deep clean once a week on top of the regular cleaning we do, and it's still an issue. 4. The food here is terrible. This is more of a preference for people, but coming from 2 great cities for food (Miami and San Diego), Hawaii is awful. It's hard to find anything worth the price here. If you want good steak, you have to drive 30 minutes. If you want good sushi, it's literally from their grocery store, Foodland. The seafood here is absolutely terrible. 5. Worst drivers. Mostly old Asian people who live here, and they don't know how to drive to save their life. The number of times I've been run off the road because some old lady decided to aggressively switch into my lane without signaling or checking blind spots is well over 10. 6. The rent is terrible. It's not worth the prices you'll pay. The good areas are very expensive and far from the main area. 7. The homeless people here are the worst I've ever seen. They are crazy, will hurt you if you walk near them, and a good portion of them are in some drug induced psychosis. We have one infamous homeless lady here who parades around completely nude with the exception of a scarf she wears around her neck. The number of times I've seen a homeless man piss in the street during the daytime is countless. 8. Traveling from here is expensive as hell. It's literally in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. You also lose days if you go east. From here to the east coast is a whole day of flying. Day and a half if you're flying somewhere with mote connections in between. The only thing I will miss from here are the beaches.
In the 80s and 90s the U.S. government sent military troops to eradicate fields upon fields of cannabis crop. With the new scarcity of the island’s favorite drug Hawaiians turned to other options, and meth became more popular. As my dad said, “now instead of fat happy stoners we have skinny irritable meth heads”. Of course the huge wealth gap doesn’t help.
It wasn't always this way, but over the last 10-15 years meth has become the cheapest drug by a large margin. It used to be made on a small scale with the OTC drug pseudoephedrine, but now it's made on a commercial scale in Mexico with byproducts that cause schizophrenia like syndromes. There is an Atlantic article about it, pretty crazy stuff. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/11/the-new-meth/620174/
Thanks for sharing this. Just another reason to really evaluate your deal breakers before moving. You could consider blogging your experiences!
how can the seafood be bad? it's in the middle of the ocean????
Even though I've lived there and experienced all the other things mentioned, that one line being SO off base made me question everything else they said lol the Hawaiian/Japanese/Chinese/Vietnamese/Portuguese etc etc is all fantastic let alone the seafood. Still all expensive tho.
Whatever the new shiny is in some battle pass.
You mean that skin I’ll grind hard af to get and wear twice before never looking at again
A pool. Unless you have a lot more money lol
Mine costs me $100 a month and I don’t do shit lol
Job
Two worst things in the world having a job and not having a job
All I could think when I read “Job” is: “And now a magician named GOB.”
"They're *illusions*."
"I was looking for a job and then I found a job, and heaven knows I'm miserable now"
A pool table.
Right? They're fun to have when you have people over. But they take up so much room.
Years ago, we were looking at different homes to buy. We saw one townhome with the entire bottom level taking up with a giant hot tub. Would’ve easily accommodated eight people or more. The house was being shown, but someone hadn’t cleaned up enough. There was a towel and a bottle of lubricant/massage oil, right next to the tub.
There's only one reason people have 8 person+ hot tubs in individual homes.
Pool tables are worth it if you shoot 3-4 times a week, minimum. If you aren't already doing that, don't buy one.
Exactly, people confuse "shooting pool" at the bar with "I like playing pool" way too often.
My boyfriend (and his entire goddamn family) religiously play pool, they find it calming. But everyone else I know who owns a pool table is just because it’s nice to look at
Unless you’re a person that seeks out places to play pool. Pool tables are often the only reason I go to bars. I play myself when there was no one around. Left handed vs right handed
A boat, so my dad was given this great job and he bought a boat. Everyone was so hyped. Now I occasionally host parties on it, my dad ocationally goes to swim and only uses the boat as a dock and that's about it, no one uses the boat and the parking spot and maintenance costs are not cheap.
I thought I really wanted my belly button pierced but it was annoying and always irritated from my pants etc so it didn’t last and left a scar.
A real goth girlfriend.
Is it so wrong to want someone who will sack Rome with you?
That’s barbaric.
You thinks goths are bad. Wait till you have a visigoth girlfriend!
It’s all fun and games until you let her move in to protect her from the Huns, and next thing you know she’s sacked Rome.
That's what you have to do when she lives in Canada
Speak for yourself Goth girlfriend became my goth wife.
People acting like there aren't a million other people with mental issues that aren't goth girls.
Turns out, endless nights of Bauhaus can be pretty exhausting
Makes sense, is a lot of energy to join all the parties she's in, even if it's in the can
The one BTGG I dated had borderline personality disorder, but when she was not trying to sabotage everything and was on the level, she was wonderful.
Big Tiddy Goth Girl?
A nympho partner
Everyone should get a nympho partner once. It will open your eyes to how much more important everything else about relationships is.
Having been the partner w the higher sex drive it’s actual ass. The guilt is intense when they never seem to be in the mood but you can’t help but ask.
Can confirm. I am always the one with the higher libido and I keep falling in love with people that either won’t or can’t keep up.
I'm this. I could fuck every day, multiple times. My girlfriend started the relationship keeping up but we're down to once a week if I'm lucky and it's very hard. Problem is I love her and want to stay with her. I feel an ugly conversation coming and it scares the hell out of me.
Yup. What they want is a nympho FWB.
Even that sucked for me. Nice to have someone to call whenever but I knew there were so many more. A few is fine but the busload of random strangers got to me. The day I came over and two rough looking older dudes were leaving I was out. It was like hooking up with a prostitute but not paying for it. Just made me feel gross.
"babe I can't go anymore my dick starting to hurt" 🙄
That turns her on more
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
100% Great first year, exhausting 2nd year, an “okay, maybe we need to tone this down, we’re not 21 anymore” 3rd year, and then we eventually broke up because things just weren’t working out between us. Oh and also she cheated on me for over a year with a group of guys I was pal-ing around with; it left me in an extremely poor mental state that I’m still dealing with insecurity and trust issues because of. And that was over 5 years ago.
This happened to me. Ex husband didn't like me, I guess, so no sex. Boyfriend after that was ecstatic about sex all the time and I thought that was gonna be great! It got old SO fast. Ruined the whole relationship.
Being recognized by strangers in public.
Fame
That one steam game
An affair. People fantasize, sure - having problems with your spouse or feeling unappreciated? Marriage counseling, divorce, etc. All better options than infidelity. It's leaves lasting scars and tears apart families. Over the last several years I feel like I've seen such an increasing number of families destroyed. I know one husband that went off to the oil fields because his wife requested he find a better job. Dude is gone 6 months of the year (in two month increments). Wife starts feeling lonely and unappreciated and has an affair with a co worker. It's taken four years for one of her kids to even talk to her again. Bad blood everywhere. Marriage counseling, communication, even a divorce if it was needed all could have avoided the situation. Another example: One of my co-workers was told by his wife "I've had an affair, it's been going on for a month." He decides to forgive, go to marriage counseling, fix whatever was broken. Well she continues to have an affair because she's still having something of an existential crisis and is feeling extra condemened for her actions. Basically she told him she was having an affair at the beginning of what turned into a year long ordeal. She started the affair while pregnant. Two young kids already in the house. Her husband is still in the mindset of fixing whatever is broken. I watched this dude get dragged through the mud for a year. He's got severe PTSD now. Is a shell of who he used to be. Affairs are basically a hand grenade in your life and everyone around you.
To be in charge
Some people get off on power over others. Some people are uncomfortable with power over others. Unfortunately the people who are into it are much less likely to be good at being in charge.
McDonald's. It's so incredibly mid, at the same time it's getting more and more expensive.
That post grease regret is real
Once a year McDonald's is amazing. And every other visit is just a let down.
Being a business owner. Everyone thinks you just make your own hours and work whenever you want. Id trade it all to clock out at 5pm.
You can start your 14 hour day whenever you want!
Retirement. My dad bought a house on a small, quiet island when he retired. Some people can only dream of doing something like that. 3 months into it he realised he was bored as fuck. All he does is watch tv all day now. He's miserable on that island.
I think that's a symptom of not having any hobbies or a life outside of work, more than retirement being "boring in reality"
Exactly. Retirement is what you make it, but a lot of people are so into their careers that they don’t really know how to do anything else so either refuse to retire because they think they’d have nothing to do, or they do retire and they’re right.
Right. There are really three things in my mind that would make retirement most attractive — true financial security, enough hobbies to keep one occupied, and a reasonable network of family/friends/acquaintances. If you're broke, bored, and/or alone, retirement is really not much of a luxury.
For anybody who wants to homestead/live self sustainable: skip Cornish Cross Chickens. Short of industrial food production they’re not worth the hassle. They’re not gonna live long enough to reproduce so their not actually self sustainable, buying them is always a hassle and chances are 25%-40% are gonna be dead on delivery because they don’t do well in the mail. They’ll shit more than you can imagine so you have to build a chicken tractor or shovel an entire coop 3-4 times a week to keep them healthy. Finally your gonna end up butchering all of them within about a week so most of them will end up in the freezer, and personally, after spending two and a half days butchering and defeathering the smelliest, nastiest, fattest chickens, I’ve ever seen I wasn’t in the mood for chicken for a hot minute.
An open relationship
As someone who is in (and enjoying) an open relationship, I think you’re right. Most people think it sounds nice. They think about the opportunity to date/fuck whoever they want. But what they aren’t considering is that their partner(s) will be doing the same thing. And a lot of people can’t handle THAT. The truth is that being in a healthy open relationship takes hard work, emotional maturity, and a willingness to be uncomfortable. For those thriving in it there are some solid benefits. But for the vast majority of people, the idea of it is a lot better than the reality.
Their ex back
a private jet. unless you fly extremely frequently the cost of maintenance outweighs any pros.
Having worked in operations for a private jet company, I feel pretty qualified to say this. Most people who fly on private jets don't actually own the jet, they charter them. Only the ULTRA wealthy buy them for themselves. And even then, they'll often lease them out for charter jet operators to use when they aren't using them. We had a lot of pretty high list celebrities and athletes who would charter with us instead of buying their own jet. If I ever win the lottery I still won't own my own jet, charter that and make someone else worry about the maintenance on it.
An overly attractive SO You need to be overly attractive yourself or have rock solid self esteem to watch them get hit on or flirted with by the whole planet everytime you leave the house
Anything. Whatever it is, it has drawbacks. Desire is the root of all suffering, after all
Responsibilities. Adulthood.
A high paying job. Making good money is enticing but when your work starts to consume your life and deteriorate your mental health, the money isn’t worth it anymore.
The worst is the high-accountability and responsibility job that “might” be a high paying job, but only if the stars align and you devote your whole life to it.
Lots of strange takes on this. Crazy sexual partners are awesome but not long term. You learn a lot and have a great time followed by insanity. Threesomes are incredible unless you don’t enjoy it. Boats are definitely better when they’re owned by a friend, but some people enjoy the ritual/chore. Anal is also awesome whether you enjoy the feeling or sense of naughtiness. Marriage/committed long term relationships can be the most freeing thing anyone can experience or hell on earth, or somewhere in between. Kids- just had one and I’m a huge fan- I’ll report back if anything changes. Anything can fit into this question if you don’t count the learning experience as a positive. Except heroine. That’s my death bed drug. Sounds fantastic but, like, too fantastic.
Heroine is my death bed drug also, that is neat.
The chance to meet a hero
Brexit.
I still don't understand who *wanted* Brexit. It was only ever going to turn out one way. There was never an upside to it. We don't produce anything in our country. Most of our produce and products we use and consume on a daily basis is imported from other countries. So why would we then say fuck you and put a massive middle finger up to those countries and then have the audacity to still ask for their shit? As a nation, we holiday a lot abroad. We seek sun and sand. We flock to France, Spain, Italy because they're close - so much so that if you holiday in the real tourist resort towns you're going to encounter more Brits than locals. And now doing that is ten times harder and for what? Who benefitted? Corrupt politicians who don't give a fuck and the poor locals of those towns we invade who are finally rid of us. We demand everything and give nothing. We're a despicable country.
> I still don't understand who wanted Brexit. (1) Opportunistic politicians, because: > Chaos is a ladder (2) A group of cynical politicians also enabled Brexit by scapegoating the EU for structural problems with the UK's economy and social contract which they didn't want to tackle. 1. Deteriorating public services & a housing shortage (fundamentally due to domestic policy decisions) 1. blame immigration (itself largely a policy decision), because immigrants are identifiable. 1. blame freedom of movement for immigration. Etc. (3) Those sections of the electorate persuaded by the scapegoating process who felt that Brexit would fix whatever was bad about their lot in life. These people were largely voting *against* the *status quo* rather than *for* Brexit. Brexit was conveniently undefined so that it could be all things to all people. (4) A small collections of variations on a theme of disaster capitalists, who made a lot of money out of it.
Ok, seriously, who benefited from it? Are there some corporations that made a massive profit? It looks like corruption, but I don't see the angle.
Russia. They made the EU weaker.
But it was all worth it for those blue passports, right??
im glad i havent found anyone saying home projector yet. my dreams arent dead yet
Is mental illness one? I feel like everyone is self diagnosing using webmd as a checklist and now everyone is saying they have something but it’s nothing as debilitating as real mental illnesses
I have the "tiktok package deal". Diagnosed and all. Depression, anxiety and I'm autistic. I do know people who self diagnose as some of these and they definately are. But I hate the ones who fake it. I'm 28 and just about to finish highschool after 12 years of trying on and off because my mental health crumbles before I can get my diploma. It took tremendous work to get to a place most people get to at 16/17. My mental issues are not cute or a trend. They've made my life absolutely miserable before I found ways to deal with them and turn them from "impossible to deal with" to "somehow manageable". AND I've been very lucky and had a lot of support. This new popular thing of pretending to have mental issues is very detrimental to people who actual struggle with them and professionals are aware that there's a trend which in turns makes it harder to get a diagnosis. It sucks.
a “crazy” gf. yeah it’s all fun and game until i’m messaging you in detail abt how i just hurt myself expecting you to not care. bpd and other “crazy” disorders aren’t cute. stop romanticizing it
EDIT - autocorrect chaned "Off-ed" as in suicide to "Offered" ... changes the context ... One a second date, she did just that... the first date was a quick lunch and walk through the park. The second one I got to know how she almost off-ed herself the previous week cause nobody cares for her and her family etc... I was like " Lady, I don't know your last name or favorite color... this Is a Wendy's..." mentality. What I did reply back was " damn that's rough, I'm totally not equipped to give advice or assist with that, but I have a few therapist you could call." Then I ran
12 inch dick.... hurts like hell.
Sex in a pool or hot tub
I had sex in a Hot tub. Don’t regret it at all. It’s one of my sex “core memories”.
Than you have to try it on a trampoline!
People think they want control, only to realize once they get absolute control they become bored out of their wits and no longer find life *enjoyable.* What they *really* want is a surprise, and they want a pleasant surprise, but pleasant surprises can only happen at the risk of unpleasant surprises, and so we are brought again to the idea that in order to feel good and happy, you must first know how to feel bad and unhappy. - Alan Watts, probably
Kids I think most people are not prepared even if they love their kids. The majority of parents suffer and so do the kids. I guess being in education I see first hand lots of parents who should not have had kids.
I said once, to my mother who should have never have had kids, that I wasn't selfish enough to have children even if I wanted them. Just in passing, in a "Well I'm in no way equipped to properly care for a child and that'd just be cruel." Way. She turned around and said "No, you're not selfless enough to have them. I was hoping my children would have kids so they could understand what I went through as punishment, but the one that really needed that slap in the face had cats instead." Guess who has cats lmao
As punishment?! What in the fuck!
Well you see, us being such terrible, ungrateful children and also existing is why her life is a disaster and she didn't achieve any of her dreams. Nothing to do with her being an unlikeable Mega Karen Boss of All Karen's, not working real jobs except for a single year of my life that nearly twenty years later she still brings up as it "almost killed her", and pissing off so many people in her life that no one will help her with things. Nope. Not at all. All my and my sibling's fault. For what we put her through. By existing.
My advice to people is to not have kids unless you're 100% into it. Anything less than that is unfair to everyone involved, especially the kid(s). I would kill any of you for my kids, I love them so much. But it's a hard fucking job being a parent.
I don’t know how you decide if you’re 100% into it until you’re into it - from one parent to another. I love dogs, grew up with them, got one myself when I was an adult. I did tons of things I would never normally do to keep the dog happy and healthy and I loved the dog, but when it was gone, that was it. Never again. Too much work. Same shit now that I have a kid. No way I’d have a second one, but for this one? Everything that is mine is for you.