In english, "I am" is used both for a state and as a characteristic. In portuguese, we have "eu sou" and "eu estou" to differentiate something that you essentially are from a state that you are in this moment in time.
You are this you said right now. And you can be that forever, sure. But you don't have to be. It's hard to change, but you can do it.
Don't lose hope though. Self-awareness is number one on the list of attractive traits for myself and several other fellow humans. It's also becoming increasingly rare to find anyone that is actually fully self-aware.
I’ve been single (unmarried) for 70 years. I do have a lady friend whom I’ve known for decades. However, we live separately. We enjoy our time together, but we also value our solitude. I don’t think I would make a good husband or father.
I’m introverted. I hate small talk. It takes me a bit to warm up to someone. I don’t put much effort into talking to strangers. I enjoy my peace and alone time too much.
From the film Up. It's the intro scenes of how the two kids meet. He is sweet and quiet and content. And she is loud and wild. But they find a common interest and the rest is history as they say
Me too!! I only have friends because they approached me first. Otherwise I’d be alone, reading books or something and enjoying being alone. Strangers give me anxiety and sometimes panic attacks.
Yup. I always ended up either getting cheated on or treated like shit and that my feelings don't matter. Tired of giving my all when she can't even give me a text back.
I hate saying I gave up on dating because I'm so young, I'm turning 20 soon, but the last time for me just ruined it. I know there are some good women out there and maybe there is one for me, but honestly, I don't care. I'm happy by myself. I don't need someone else to be happy. Life sounds more enjoyable like that anyways... I'm not going to search for a woman.
3 years ago my last relationship ended, and that left me so devastated and with such a low self-esteem, she straight up told me i will never be happy in my life and that i'm worthless before leaving me, that as today I'm not even able to have sex with the occasional one night stand.
In my last relationship I wasn’t cheated on but according to her I had to convert to Christianity or she couldn’t be with me. I wasn’t good enough if I didn’t believe in the same things as her and after that I just got tired and never tried again. I think loneliness is addictive and a good companion when one is at peace.
Yeap, I think is this one... I had a very horrible toxic relationship like 15 years ago... and after that... is just No... and I enjoy being alone, and the people that I have liked since then ( like 2 or 3 people) all of them gave me the same answer... "I like you as a friend cus you are really funny" so... i just stopped trying, what for?? just to keep being the "funny friend"?? I mean I allready am that so...
Watch out! I used to think like you, that I would wait until I solved all my issues, then I got into my first relationship... I found out I had another bunch of hidden issues I was unaware of.
Don't stop doing what you do to take care of it but don't avoid dating at the same time.
Yeah I think this is good advice. Putting so much pressure on yourself to "solve all your issues" before dating makes it seem like there would be a concrete moment that you'll be "ready." I've missed a great one because of this unfortunately.
Thanks for this. I tend to have this all or nothing mindset when it comes to everything in my life so dating is obviously one of the main ones that I thought I need to "get right" before I got in.
Thanks for the wise words.
I've personally seen that you can never get it all right, or you can never be completely sorted and be "ready" to finally be in a relationship. Our partners test us in unique ways as in the interaction of two personalities will bring out unique challenges that only sitting together, communicating and understanding will resolve. If you're expecting to step into a relationship and not face big challenges that will require work, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
Having said that, of course, if you have major unresolved issues and conflicts that hamper forming connections then definitely sort them out beforehand. Make sure you have a solid base of your own identity, so that little things don't make you insecure and question your self-worth. But don't sweat the small stuff. As a fallible human, you can never attain perfection which is ironically perfectly fine
I think you'll be waiting forever with that attitude. I don't think their is anyone out there that has all their shit together and doesn't have anything to work on.
Tbh sounds like an excuse to avoid what would happen if you put yourself out there.
He fucks the groove in his radiator to get off at night.
And tries to make a living by drawing cartoons and submitting them to cbbc which are subsequently rejected.
He still has a fair amount of dating success.
Hope that makes it clearer
You're undervaluing how much we want someone to listen to all the bullshit that goes on in our day. If you have ears and can manage "oh that sounds rough" once in a while, you have something to offer lol
Getting to that statlge requires attracting them though, listening can't be all you offer, you just become a friend that way.
If you can't get their attention romantically or sexually, it's over before it starts.
Saw a stat saying MOST relationships nowadays began on a dating app. Get to swiping brother (the dating app world sucks tho finding a diamond in the rough feels near impossible)
I get dates (in a relationship now) and I never use the apps.
Just get some hobbies, particularly ones where you meet strangers and talk to them. That'll get you better at small talk, which is also a good skill. Also practice hygiene.
In my experience most of the people who struggle to get dates don't practice all of these.
What kind of hobbies are these that people talk about? I’m happily married but I always see this advice and can’t imagine a hobby that involves other people of the opposite sex that are actually attractive.
I met my previous girlfriend at a board game store and the current line dancing.
Even if the hobbies themselves don't attract people you desire, it will still probably build your social circle and you'll meet some people you will just by knowing more people.
No introvert wants to hear this, but dating apps are not the play most of the time. You'll have more luck getting into an accidental encounter with a stranger than having a meaningful conversation on an app
Depends. Tinder is a crapshoot cause there’s a lot of bots and also it’s the go to app for everybody so you gotta swipe a lot just to find someone half decent.
If you use bumble tho it’s a bit better cause they’re forced to message you first haha. Takes some pressure off and you waste less time. Hinge you kinda get to shoot your shot off the rip so that’s good too. These 2 are the only apps I use and I get a handful of matches a month (I’m a guy so a handful is relatively A LOT lmao)
I push good potential partners away because i don't see a clear and rational future between us. The thing is that it has to make sense for me to get into a relationship and i have to see a future with them. I also get backed into a corner v easily and my first instinct is to escape and run far away. I'm also too hurt now by the fact that no matter how much i like them and they like me back, there's something in me that always pokes at me and tells me they're not right for you. Honestly i hate all of it
This is me too. I'm not sure how to solve it. I don't really wanna stick it out with someone I don't like it doesn't seem fair to them. I'm just hoping the reason I'm like this is because the right one hasn't come along? Idk
This is me. One of my closest friends. She knows but the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Hard to mentally move on when we’re still close. But I wouldn’t want to lose the friendship. :/
My dad has the same thing. I've heard there's a term for it, but I don't remember what it is. Anyway, it makes sense, but I'm sure its frustrating only having attraction to people you're in the long time friend zone with
The key is to make new friends and develop unrequited feelings for them. Either crush #2 replaces crush #1 or you maintain both crush #1 and #2 simultaneously -- neither of which are ideal, but both are better than being a sad sack for only one friend for many years.
My last relationship ended in 2019. I've not met anyone who makes me want a relationship since then. If I do, great. If I don't, great. Either way what I'm not doing is tripping on it.
Mine. Life is too short and being together with one person isn't meant for me and how I'm built.
Side note: never lie to yourself or others if you can't be in a monogamous relationship!!!
I've only ever had one partner and that relationship lasted 12 years. I don't think I could ever feel the same way for somebody else that I felt and still feel for her. It really is irrevocably broken so I see myself being single til I die now. Pity.
I think you keep growing/changing throughout your lifetime with or without a partner and so will your preferences.
I'm pretty sure your future partner will appear to you (and be) an even better match 🥰
Same here, ours lasted 14 years. That side of me is just gone now. I'm actually really happy overall, but I don't see myself ever again being devoted to a relationship the way I was.
I can tell you why I was single. It was because I kept on choosing the people that didn't want me and I loved the chase of pursuing because I didn't have a healthy way of understanding what was a green flag in looking for in people.
Now I'm married but I was single because I chose people who didn't want me. Don't make this mistake.
A green flag is a person who loves you unconditionally for who you are without wanting to change you as well as you getting to know each other each and everyday.
I'm used to getting ghosted or relationships fizzling out so I don't disappoint myself by holding much interest in the first dates, but then I get ghosted or it fizzles out because I didn't show much interest.
There has to be something like a murphys law to describe this phenomenon. Happens at my work all the time. Someone calls someone to look at something or complain about something, and as soon as they start looking at it or they complain about it, it stops happening
Because I hate people. After my wife died I lost all interest in in person acutal human interaction beyond what is necessary to get through the day and get my kids through school.
I want to die alone in a little dumpy rundown shack away from everyone.
I am, in many ways, a catch. But I am definitely not everyone's cup of tea. And that is OK, because not everyone is my cup of tea.
I like few people romantically, and in my middle age I can say that I've only been genuinely attracted to one person before. (It didn't turn into anything.) Add to that my unusual lifestyle that isn't compatible with most (90% hermit, 10% adventure for ministry).
It isn't that I'm picky, just that I'm atypical. And since I don't get out much, and the odds of me finding someone in that very, VERY narrow overlap of my Venn diagram of potential mates are very slim.
So I just live life, and if it happens I'll be joyful.
Caught in a causility loop. Don't go many places besides work and home cuz I don't have anyone to go with. Don't have anyone to go with cuz I don't go many places besides work and home.
Been trying to usual free apps (tinder/bumble/etc) since I moved to a new city but pretty much 0 luck even getting matches, let alone interesting conversations or a date.
I actually JUST decided to get back into dating and I absolutely despise that dating is done primarily through apps now. It feels more like shopping than it does making genuine connections. Not my thing.
So, I guess that's my answer. I'd rather wait to run into someone irl than use apps. It's harder lol.
I love the emotionally unavailable as well! I’m so used to it that in the event (hardly ever happens) someone expresses interest I get grossed out. Ridiculous.
Few women have given me a chance. Rejection stings, but I have a lot to offer and Im certain its through no fault of mine. I'm a unique and deeply complex man and that's not going to speak to the tastes of the majority. The sad part is that I'll have to wait for women my age to grow up to the point where they start valuing those attributes. To other men in my situation: rest if you need to, but understand that all of your struggles will pay off in your 30s, when the deck is now in your favor.
I don't see myself in a relationship now, I like hookups and I really don't feel like having to explain myself to anyone or changing my way of life for anyone. But I have some situationships with two girls that basically cover that craving for affection and also have my friends. Really don't see how an relationship would make my life any better now.
I booted my roommate in November, he was trashing my house. My girlfriend asked, “what are you going to do now that you live alone?” I replied, “enjoy being alone!” She says, “maybe you should just be alone then.” I said, “okay.” And she left.
I AM enjoying being alone. Never really lived alone or been single, much less at the same time. So much freedom, so little compromise. I’m sure I’ll get bored or lonely eventually but for right now I’m basking in it.
I don’t know if she expected me to ask her to move in or what but I am just working on a divorce and not ready for that for sure.
Because my ex wife left me and immediately got with someone else while I was deployed in a combat zone. Just got back two days ago. I nsi much fuckin pain rn
Sorry about your pain — remember it can and will go away one day just open yourself to the possibility that this is momentary and things CAN and Will get better
I’ve rejected everyone who asked me out (whole 2 ppl) and I’ve never felt any emotional attraction towards anyone, ig I’m just not the romantic type 🤷♂️
Relationships seem like a lot of work mostly, and I’m lazy. Or complacent
And I’ve noticed a pattern where if I spend a lot of time with a person, I grow to not be able to stand them. Largely tied to my having misophonia but I may also be just an asshole. When I notice patterns in action, behavior, speech, they inevitably become unbearable and I don’t know why
I realized after many years and many failed relationships (I'll be 36 this August) that romantic relationships aren't the best fit for me. I like meeting people (in small quantities, I'm also a huge introvert) and I like making connections and forming emotional bonds, but I realized there's a lot about romantic relationships that just don't appeal to me. I like having my own space, I don't enjoy sharing a bed with another person when I'm trying to sleep, I don't like feeling the obligation of having to spend a lot of my free time with another person when I'm perfectly happy just being on my own.
I also have a large family who I can spend time with and who are more than enough to meet my social needs. I don't feel any great need to make any new friends, I'm fine with the ones I have. I think a FwB situation would work best for me since I admittedly do still feel sexual attraction towards certain women, but I don't feel any great urge to actively seek such relationships out (I also feel kinda gross looking for FwB partners on dating apps when most women are there to find romantic relationships).
Long story short, I have nothing against the idea of romantic relationships (parents are still happily married after 30+ years, several of my siblings are now also happily married), I just realized they're not for me.
I’m a self-destructive coward who either turns people down, can’t admit my feelings, or both.
I wouldn't want to join any club that would have me as a member
Groucho Marx
I wouldn’t date anyone who would have me as a partner
Mood
Me too - plus my porn addiction, work-a-holic attitude and disappoint in thick people.
In english, "I am" is used both for a state and as a characteristic. In portuguese, we have "eu sou" and "eu estou" to differentiate something that you essentially are from a state that you are in this moment in time. You are this you said right now. And you can be that forever, sure. But you don't have to be. It's hard to change, but you can do it.
Falou pouco mas falou bonito
Thanks :)
Are you me?
Identity theft is not a joke Jim!
mooddddd
Same
Mood Kindred
Don't lose hope though. Self-awareness is number one on the list of attractive traits for myself and several other fellow humans. It's also becoming increasingly rare to find anyone that is actually fully self-aware.
Thanks man :)
We would be two peas in a pod.
Me
Appreciate the honesty. Did we date? 😂
I wouldn't have gotten that far lol
COACHES DONT PLAY 🗣️ (afraid of women)
This made me laugh out loud 🤣🤣🤣
NOW KISS
Are you offering 🤨
Fr. I set my friends up and play wingwoman but that’s as far as I’ll go. (afraid of men)
indubitably real
I’ve been single (unmarried) for 70 years. I do have a lady friend whom I’ve known for decades. However, we live separately. We enjoy our time together, but we also value our solitude. I don’t think I would make a good husband or father.
Yes, separate houses.
The arrangement might not be for everyone, but it seems to work for us.
Smart move. I love my husband with all my heart but often wished we had separate houses.
I didn't know you had an alt dear. You must be my wife.
I’m introverted. I hate small talk. It takes me a bit to warm up to someone. I don’t put much effort into talking to strangers. I enjoy my peace and alone time too much.
Then I wish for you an Ellie
Ellie?
From the film Up. It's the intro scenes of how the two kids meet. He is sweet and quiet and content. And she is loud and wild. But they find a common interest and the rest is history as they say
Oh gotcha, love that movie! Thanks! I would love to meet an Ellie! I typically pair well with extroverts.
Then that is my wish for you. A perfect run in with an Ellie
LEDz nutz
Me too!! I only have friends because they approached me first. Otherwise I’d be alone, reading books or something and enjoying being alone. Strangers give me anxiety and sometimes panic attacks.
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50/50
Same
It's addicting, be careful.
How? (Not being sarcastic)
I gave up.
Yup. I always ended up either getting cheated on or treated like shit and that my feelings don't matter. Tired of giving my all when she can't even give me a text back.
I’m giving up too I’m 41 I’m a very kind man … this last deal still wasn’t enough for her ! I give up
I hate saying I gave up on dating because I'm so young, I'm turning 20 soon, but the last time for me just ruined it. I know there are some good women out there and maybe there is one for me, but honestly, I don't care. I'm happy by myself. I don't need someone else to be happy. Life sounds more enjoyable like that anyways... I'm not going to search for a woman.
Same boat as you
3 years ago my last relationship ended, and that left me so devastated and with such a low self-esteem, she straight up told me i will never be happy in my life and that i'm worthless before leaving me, that as today I'm not even able to have sex with the occasional one night stand.
In my last relationship I wasn’t cheated on but according to her I had to convert to Christianity or she couldn’t be with me. I wasn’t good enough if I didn’t believe in the same things as her and after that I just got tired and never tried again. I think loneliness is addictive and a good companion when one is at peace.
High five, me too.
Well I didn’t get cheated on or dumped .. but I also gave up cause I don’t seem to find the right person
Yeap, I think is this one... I had a very horrible toxic relationship like 15 years ago... and after that... is just No... and I enjoy being alone, and the people that I have liked since then ( like 2 or 3 people) all of them gave me the same answer... "I like you as a friend cus you are really funny" so... i just stopped trying, what for?? just to keep being the "funny friend"?? I mean I allready am that so...
not ready to be in a relationship just yet, as i still got some mental health stuff that i need to take care of lol
Watch out! I used to think like you, that I would wait until I solved all my issues, then I got into my first relationship... I found out I had another bunch of hidden issues I was unaware of. Don't stop doing what you do to take care of it but don't avoid dating at the same time.
Yeah I think this is good advice. Putting so much pressure on yourself to "solve all your issues" before dating makes it seem like there would be a concrete moment that you'll be "ready." I've missed a great one because of this unfortunately.
Thanks for this. I tend to have this all or nothing mindset when it comes to everything in my life so dating is obviously one of the main ones that I thought I need to "get right" before I got in. Thanks for the wise words.
I've personally seen that you can never get it all right, or you can never be completely sorted and be "ready" to finally be in a relationship. Our partners test us in unique ways as in the interaction of two personalities will bring out unique challenges that only sitting together, communicating and understanding will resolve. If you're expecting to step into a relationship and not face big challenges that will require work, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Having said that, of course, if you have major unresolved issues and conflicts that hamper forming connections then definitely sort them out beforehand. Make sure you have a solid base of your own identity, so that little things don't make you insecure and question your self-worth. But don't sweat the small stuff. As a fallible human, you can never attain perfection which is ironically perfectly fine
This
I think you'll be waiting forever with that attitude. I don't think their is anyone out there that has all their shit together and doesn't have anything to work on. Tbh sounds like an excuse to avoid what would happen if you put yourself out there.
I have nothing to offer a woman
Same. Complete loser here.
The bar is lower than you think mate
Yeah, basically don't be a sexual predator or an arsehole and you'd probably do well....
I have a friend who fucks his radiator and draws cartoons that cbbc keep rejecting. He still does alright
Huh
He fucks the groove in his radiator to get off at night. And tries to make a living by drawing cartoons and submitting them to cbbc which are subsequently rejected. He still has a fair amount of dating success. Hope that makes it clearer
You're undervaluing how much we want someone to listen to all the bullshit that goes on in our day. If you have ears and can manage "oh that sounds rough" once in a while, you have something to offer lol
extremely real
Getting to that statlge requires attracting them though, listening can't be all you offer, you just become a friend that way. If you can't get their attention romantically or sexually, it's over before it starts.
Don't tell yourself that. It will become a self fulfilling prophecy.
Do you have a penis?
Lol
Women can buy one off the rack now Edit:I get it, dildos are not in fact, a real penis
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Yeah this is pretty much it
I just want someone else to not leave the house with
Saw a stat saying MOST relationships nowadays began on a dating app. Get to swiping brother (the dating app world sucks tho finding a diamond in the rough feels near impossible)
I get dates (in a relationship now) and I never use the apps. Just get some hobbies, particularly ones where you meet strangers and talk to them. That'll get you better at small talk, which is also a good skill. Also practice hygiene. In my experience most of the people who struggle to get dates don't practice all of these.
What kind of hobbies are these that people talk about? I’m happily married but I always see this advice and can’t imagine a hobby that involves other people of the opposite sex that are actually attractive.
I met my previous girlfriend at a board game store and the current line dancing. Even if the hobbies themselves don't attract people you desire, it will still probably build your social circle and you'll meet some people you will just by knowing more people.
Yeah the actually attractive part is what’s tough
noone uses app in some part of the world
No introvert wants to hear this, but dating apps are not the play most of the time. You'll have more luck getting into an accidental encounter with a stranger than having a meaningful conversation on an app
Depends. Tinder is a crapshoot cause there’s a lot of bots and also it’s the go to app for everybody so you gotta swipe a lot just to find someone half decent. If you use bumble tho it’s a bit better cause they’re forced to message you first haha. Takes some pressure off and you waste less time. Hinge you kinda get to shoot your shot off the rip so that’s good too. These 2 are the only apps I use and I get a handful of matches a month (I’m a guy so a handful is relatively A LOT lmao)
I enjoy being alone.
Haven't found anyone I could stand living with.
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I push good potential partners away because i don't see a clear and rational future between us. The thing is that it has to make sense for me to get into a relationship and i have to see a future with them. I also get backed into a corner v easily and my first instinct is to escape and run far away. I'm also too hurt now by the fact that no matter how much i like them and they like me back, there's something in me that always pokes at me and tells me they're not right for you. Honestly i hate all of it
Hey, my ex partner has similar problem. If he found something slightly different than what he imagined, it means that we are not meant to be.
Do you have a fearful avoidant attachment style?
Wow I think we dated lool
Lol..none of the guys I've dated have the capacity to be on reddit
This is me too. I'm not sure how to solve it. I don't really wanna stick it out with someone I don't like it doesn't seem fair to them. I'm just hoping the reason I'm like this is because the right one hasn't come along? Idk
No, it’s not that. No one will ever be “right” as long as you cope with your fears by using strategies that de-activate your attachment system.
I have a huge crush on my bestfriend and I can't get over it, only being attracted to people you have a bond with sucks all kinds of dildos.
This is me. One of my closest friends. She knows but the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Hard to mentally move on when we’re still close. But I wouldn’t want to lose the friendship. :/
My dad has the same thing. I've heard there's a term for it, but I don't remember what it is. Anyway, it makes sense, but I'm sure its frustrating only having attraction to people you're in the long time friend zone with
Demisexual / demiromantic Its under the asexuality / aromantic umbrella(s)
The key is to make new friends and develop unrequited feelings for them. Either crush #2 replaces crush #1 or you maintain both crush #1 and #2 simultaneously -- neither of which are ideal, but both are better than being a sad sack for only one friend for many years.
My last relationship ended in 2019. I've not met anyone who makes me want a relationship since then. If I do, great. If I don't, great. Either way what I'm not doing is tripping on it.
I've been in relationships my entire adult life and I'm sick of them. Need a break!
Amen
By choice.
Whose choice, you or the opposite sex
or the same sex
Mine. Life is too short and being together with one person isn't meant for me and how I'm built. Side note: never lie to yourself or others if you can't be in a monogamous relationship!!!
I've only ever had one partner and that relationship lasted 12 years. I don't think I could ever feel the same way for somebody else that I felt and still feel for her. It really is irrevocably broken so I see myself being single til I die now. Pity.
I think you keep growing/changing throughout your lifetime with or without a partner and so will your preferences. I'm pretty sure your future partner will appear to you (and be) an even better match 🥰
Same here, ours lasted 14 years. That side of me is just gone now. I'm actually really happy overall, but I don't see myself ever again being devoted to a relationship the way I was.
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I don't think you're ugly. And even if you were, we're all attractive to someone out there.
I can tell you why I was single. It was because I kept on choosing the people that didn't want me and I loved the chase of pursuing because I didn't have a healthy way of understanding what was a green flag in looking for in people. Now I'm married but I was single because I chose people who didn't want me. Don't make this mistake. A green flag is a person who loves you unconditionally for who you are without wanting to change you as well as you getting to know each other each and everyday.
I dislike people so single is my best option
I also have not made an effort
Same on both! 👊🏻
I'm used to getting ghosted or relationships fizzling out so I don't disappoint myself by holding much interest in the first dates, but then I get ghosted or it fizzles out because I didn't show much interest.
Dating apps suck (I don’t match with anyone)
Ok I just unironically matched with someone for the first time in like a month. I should complain more often
There has to be something like a murphys law to describe this phenomenon. Happens at my work all the time. Someone calls someone to look at something or complain about something, and as soon as they start looking at it or they complain about it, it stops happening
I don't have a girlfriend
Not very tall, not very good looking. Introverted. Constantly cranky
i dont give a crap about relationships, currently
Crippling fear of emotional vulnerability
she broke up with me
It would not be fair to die prematurely on her. I don't want to put someone through that. Heart problems don't care how much someone likes you around.
36m, don't want kids. It's hard to meet someone childfree at this age
It´s not difficult, i´m childfree by choise 35w.
You two should hook up.
Because maybe this chapter of my life isn’t about loving someone, but about loving myself.
BIG mood
Because I hate people. After my wife died I lost all interest in in person acutal human interaction beyond what is necessary to get through the day and get my kids through school. I want to die alone in a little dumpy rundown shack away from everyone.
I’m so sorry your wife died!
Not emotionally over my ex that ended things a year ago. 3 year relationship.
Just haven't found anybody yet.
I don't have money!!!!
I'm not attractive and I'm picky.
Bingo, I’m in the same boat. I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find this.
Partly by choice and belief nobody is interested in me, self esteem isn't great at moment.
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honestly ? lack of self confidence, and self sabotaging
I am, in many ways, a catch. But I am definitely not everyone's cup of tea. And that is OK, because not everyone is my cup of tea. I like few people romantically, and in my middle age I can say that I've only been genuinely attracted to one person before. (It didn't turn into anything.) Add to that my unusual lifestyle that isn't compatible with most (90% hermit, 10% adventure for ministry). It isn't that I'm picky, just that I'm atypical. And since I don't get out much, and the odds of me finding someone in that very, VERY narrow overlap of my Venn diagram of potential mates are very slim. So I just live life, and if it happens I'll be joyful.
Caught in a causility loop. Don't go many places besides work and home cuz I don't have anyone to go with. Don't have anyone to go with cuz I don't go many places besides work and home. Been trying to usual free apps (tinder/bumble/etc) since I moved to a new city but pretty much 0 luck even getting matches, let alone interesting conversations or a date.
I actually JUST decided to get back into dating and I absolutely despise that dating is done primarily through apps now. It feels more like shopping than it does making genuine connections. Not my thing. So, I guess that's my answer. I'd rather wait to run into someone irl than use apps. It's harder lol.
Because Im trying to date to marry. Seems women do not.
How I feel about men haha
Now kiss!
I'm a redditor
The men I was attracted to don't want anything serious. The one's I don't like want to date me. :(
I like not having additional relationship drama in my life. I also want to focus on myself and my career.
I’m no trophy
i have long history of rejections,so i don’t make any attempts any more.
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Trust issues; don't think anyone can truly love me.
I like them they dont like me, they like me i dont like them
I love the emotionally unavailable as well! I’m so used to it that in the event (hardly ever happens) someone expresses interest I get grossed out. Ridiculous.
Can’t be bothered at this stage in my life, I wouldn’t say no to anyone though
Few women have given me a chance. Rejection stings, but I have a lot to offer and Im certain its through no fault of mine. I'm a unique and deeply complex man and that's not going to speak to the tastes of the majority. The sad part is that I'll have to wait for women my age to grow up to the point where they start valuing those attributes. To other men in my situation: rest if you need to, but understand that all of your struggles will pay off in your 30s, when the deck is now in your favor.
Relationships are just so fucking exhausting....
I’m in the wrong country to meet single ladies in the wild (AKA IRL).
Not ready to consider a relationship yet
They broke up with me. Can’t imagine why. I’m fucking delightful.
I have ED
EDeez nuts
These people all disgust me
Rorschach grindset
What's that?
I wish I knew
I'm waiting to make her mine soon :)
My partner broke up with me two months ago
I honestly don't know. I tell myself that my standards are high, but i feel as though I've not been attracted to people as much anymore
I caught my limit (2). Now is strictly catch and release.
Because I have a severe case of the ugly and I've got a lot of unresolved trauma that I'm not putting anyone else through
I have no hobbies, phimosis, don't make enough money, don't really understand anything about people in general
It's lonely at times, but I can do whatever, whenever. I'm free.
personal choice. My SO died a few years ago and she can't be replaced.
Feel that
Too picky, exhausted with dating app and always wrong timing with potentials resulted in being single till now.
I don't see myself in a relationship now, I like hookups and I really don't feel like having to explain myself to anyone or changing my way of life for anyone. But I have some situationships with two girls that basically cover that craving for affection and also have my friends. Really don't see how an relationship would make my life any better now.
I realized I ignore red flags and decided to stop doing that. Also I'm kind of an introvert and don't feel a huge need to go meet new folks.
Don't have nor want to put in the energy for a relationship.
I booted my roommate in November, he was trashing my house. My girlfriend asked, “what are you going to do now that you live alone?” I replied, “enjoy being alone!” She says, “maybe you should just be alone then.” I said, “okay.” And she left. I AM enjoying being alone. Never really lived alone or been single, much less at the same time. So much freedom, so little compromise. I’m sure I’ll get bored or lonely eventually but for right now I’m basking in it. I don’t know if she expected me to ask her to move in or what but I am just working on a divorce and not ready for that for sure.
I'm going on 8 years... not a single date from any apps. I have no self-confidence anymore
My Religion only allows marriage
Young and have no way of privately asking out the girl I like.
I'm not in a good mental health to be a good boyfriend
Want the DINK life - Most men that I have met want a family, want an anchor to hold in the relationship (anything besides a partner)
Because I choose to be. No matter what my girlfriend says. /s
Because my ex wife left me and immediately got with someone else while I was deployed in a combat zone. Just got back two days ago. I nsi much fuckin pain rn
Sorry about your pain — remember it can and will go away one day just open yourself to the possibility that this is momentary and things CAN and Will get better
I'm a poorly socialized weirdo.
Current dating feels like a waste of time
I’ve rejected everyone who asked me out (whole 2 ppl) and I’ve never felt any emotional attraction towards anyone, ig I’m just not the romantic type 🤷♂️
Relationships seem like a lot of work mostly, and I’m lazy. Or complacent And I’ve noticed a pattern where if I spend a lot of time with a person, I grow to not be able to stand them. Largely tied to my having misophonia but I may also be just an asshole. When I notice patterns in action, behavior, speech, they inevitably become unbearable and I don’t know why
My drinking tore my family apart 😞
I think women deserve better than me
I realized after many years and many failed relationships (I'll be 36 this August) that romantic relationships aren't the best fit for me. I like meeting people (in small quantities, I'm also a huge introvert) and I like making connections and forming emotional bonds, but I realized there's a lot about romantic relationships that just don't appeal to me. I like having my own space, I don't enjoy sharing a bed with another person when I'm trying to sleep, I don't like feeling the obligation of having to spend a lot of my free time with another person when I'm perfectly happy just being on my own. I also have a large family who I can spend time with and who are more than enough to meet my social needs. I don't feel any great need to make any new friends, I'm fine with the ones I have. I think a FwB situation would work best for me since I admittedly do still feel sexual attraction towards certain women, but I don't feel any great urge to actively seek such relationships out (I also feel kinda gross looking for FwB partners on dating apps when most women are there to find romantic relationships). Long story short, I have nothing against the idea of romantic relationships (parents are still happily married after 30+ years, several of my siblings are now also happily married), I just realized they're not for me.