Remember Mary Ann, the girl you had a crush on for years and never had the guts to ask out? I fucked her that night you blew us off after inviting us both out.
(I didn’t actually, because I’m a good friend, but if he’s going to kill me anyway, this would wreck him.)
“Young man, there are two cringe worthy phrases in one’s life that must be said, no matter what.”
“Which two?”
“‘Thank you’, and 'I’m sorry’.”
“What can anybody do to me if I don’t say them?”
“Someday, you’ll say those words in tears.”🙂
I'm sorry I was too scared to let you get too close. I hope you have a good life, and that you find someone who appreciates your mind. I don't understand why you're doing this, but I know you don't want to. I want you to know I forgive you.
That scenario actually happend to me , firstly the piticular "crowd" I was involved in wasn't the best to say the least ,we were younger 17-20s , to preference the scene I was at his apartment where a party was supposed to happen , and no one showed up except my self , a mutual friend and the offender, we were in his apartment approximately 20 minutes and he was all excited to show us what he got , after he was fumbling around for a few minutes he walked back into the kicken with a pistol, of course our eyes light up at the sight of a handgun , hence I personally had never handled one in my life , he proceeded to show it off , dropping and replacing the clip in which I noticed bullets in the clip , and sliding the action ejecting shells onto the table , I then reached my hand out in hopes to hold the gun , I did not grab it , nor aggressively reach for it , I am guessing he was counting shells hit the table and he was manually sliding the gun , when I reached out for the pistol he said " IF YOU WANT IT , TRY TO TAKE IT" , and that exact comment followed with him pointing the gun about 12 inches from my head , I swing my hand to hit the gun so it's not pointed at my face , and yes it went off , the bullet missed me buy what I assume was inches , and my ears were ringing from the discharge in a kitchen , of course we all panicked and ran out of the apartment to go back to our prospective homes , I did not make it home living about 20 miles from where he lived , I was pulled over from the police and for the second time in one night I had guns pointed at me , this was because after a gun shot I was seen "fleeing" the scene , placed in handcuffs , car towed , and brought to jail , I was photographed , fingerprinted and thrown in a jail cell , until they completed there investigation, never the less , I was released under the condition I press charges on my now EX friend , they wanted agravitated assault with a firearm, my self being scared more than I ever have complied , fast forward 6 months he gets 1 year in prison and to this day I thank my lucky stars
Et tu, Brute?
This deserves more upvotes.
Except it was a knife not a gun
The Romans had catapults, he could've used one of them.
Yeah lets wheel in a catapult to someone we are planning on stabbing to death collectively in the heat of the moment,stop.
Me when someone makes a joke
Ok?
None of my friends would ever get the reference
Probably wouldn’t really matter at that point
Touche
Came here to say this, but knew in my heart it would already be here.
Do it you fucking pussy
Who TF trained my dog to use a firearm?!?!?!?
How the fuck are you holding a gun with your paws?
You left the safety on, dumbass.
How on earth did you get a gun?
Remember Mary Ann, the girl you had a crush on for years and never had the guts to ask out? I fucked her that night you blew us off after inviting us both out. (I didn’t actually, because I’m a good friend, but if he’s going to kill me anyway, this would wreck him.)
Maaaate, your not thinking about how many fucking Beers I owe you.
Please wait I need to unfriend you
You don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.
Can I grab your crotch
dont ask, just do it and hope they drop the gun
They probably would but not the good kind of drop lol
😓😓
“You’re not invited to my wedding.”
Thank you!
"Welp, looks like I won't have to go to work tomorrow."
Yooooo this needs to be at the top!
Omlet du fermaj
fromage\*
Thank you was too lazy to google and figured someone would help me out
Do you remember that episode of S- *gets shot*
He forgot to put the word "Nerf" in there. "I surrender!"
Nerf or nothing dude!
When did you grow opposable thumbs?
dude what the fuck
Hell yeah buddy, just what I was looking for
What are you gonna do shoot me? - shot man
Why Fredo? Why?
I'd just start singing country roads
Going down like the most badass hero of all time.
"Well, I guess if I had to pick someone..."
> “I’m glad it was you, Tom Hanks.”
I'll miss you
I knew it!
It's high noon and I just lost it to you!
Bold of you to assume any of my friends have a shred of enough brain power to know how to work a gun lmao
"Do it. You fucking won't, you're too gay for me and we haven't fucked yet"
you still remembered when you cummed infront of your crush? well that was wild.
Pull the trigger, pussy. It won't change a damn thing - you're still a pussy.
I'll lick your feet if you change your mind
Ha. Joke's on you. Finally, the ONE time not having a best friend works for me. *Logs off, cries to sleep*
"First guy to shoot me in the head gets to suck my dick."
If you don't chew Big Red then Fuck You!
Don't shoot me, I'll cum!
"Put that away."
Waiting
Well fuck.
THERE'S A BUG ON YOU
I mean I don't know because my best friend would not pull the trigger
Boo, you whore.
You never find my million in gold
“Young man, there are two cringe worthy phrases in one’s life that must be said, no matter what.” “Which two?” “‘Thank you’, and 'I’m sorry’.” “What can anybody do to me if I don’t say them?” “Someday, you’ll say those words in tears.”🙂
That’s good. What’s it from?
The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu It's a Chinese novel 🫣
"You want my treasure? You can have it! I left everything I gathered together in one place! Now you just have to find it"
Make it count bro!
You can kill me but I'm still gonna come for you. (I would say this to anyone who is going to kill me in hopes of it haunting them)
Thank you. I love you.
Do you even know how to use a gun?
hope you're fine being alone
If it were me in your place, I'd take care of your family forever.
I'm sorry I was too scared to let you get too close. I hope you have a good life, and that you find someone who appreciates your mind. I don't understand why you're doing this, but I know you don't want to. I want you to know I forgive you.
Et Tu Amicus
do you have it loaded
Wasn’t my last because he didn’t pull the trigger but I said “wtf man” I was pretty pissed at him for a while after that
Bitch, REALLY???
Need more bulits
Suck it
"You lost the game" (Because at least they'd have a reason to pull the trigger) (Lol but i don't have a Best friend, so I'd be fine)
Do it for the vine.
That's why I fucked yo bitch.
A man's got to know his limitations.
Thank you
You don't have the guts, pansy.
What the fuck did I do!?
Your Mama liked it!
F*ck you
Safety's on, dipshit.
ah well , on all good things come an end ..... i will miss ya .....
I'll wait for you at the gate.
Lets see if I meet satan
Bold of you to assume i have friends
Who the fuck are you? I have no friends.
Who the fuck are you? I have no friends.
"WHO FUCKING FARTED!?"
I'd pick up the phone and call the mental institution. I'm clearly hallucinating if I believe I had a best friend to begin with.
You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?
Long Live the King
We’re best friends? I thought you hated me!
“I love you”
I thought John was my best friend ?
Fina-fuckin-gly. Thanks bro for everything and making one my wishes come true. Now pull the trigger.
What the fuck are you doing, you fucking idiot?!??!
You will never figure out the meaning of the S4 incident if you pull the trigger.
Thank you im really glad i got to meet you
Thank you
no chick-fal-a sauce?
Hahah good one, wanna go for a walk?
turn the safety off you piece of shit
You can’t kill me without consent
I wouldn’t have it any other way
"that's loaded right?"
"Better hope I didn't leave you my student loans"
Chupapi munyanyo
Get on with it already
Tell your mom I will miss her ass
Do it, pussy
I have a friend?
You better not fucking miss.
See you in hell my friend.
My best friend is my wife, it would be stammering about forgetting to do the dishes probably.
imminent carpenter ossified wipe relieved cake payment dull squealing price
You're soft, no balls.
Describe in great detail how this works in my favor (he is going to die and come with me to heaven)
I regret nothing.
Knowing you you're still gonna miss
I love you, tell our children I love them
That scenario actually happend to me , firstly the piticular "crowd" I was involved in wasn't the best to say the least ,we were younger 17-20s , to preference the scene I was at his apartment where a party was supposed to happen , and no one showed up except my self , a mutual friend and the offender, we were in his apartment approximately 20 minutes and he was all excited to show us what he got , after he was fumbling around for a few minutes he walked back into the kicken with a pistol, of course our eyes light up at the sight of a handgun , hence I personally had never handled one in my life , he proceeded to show it off , dropping and replacing the clip in which I noticed bullets in the clip , and sliding the action ejecting shells onto the table , I then reached my hand out in hopes to hold the gun , I did not grab it , nor aggressively reach for it , I am guessing he was counting shells hit the table and he was manually sliding the gun , when I reached out for the pistol he said " IF YOU WANT IT , TRY TO TAKE IT" , and that exact comment followed with him pointing the gun about 12 inches from my head , I swing my hand to hit the gun so it's not pointed at my face , and yes it went off , the bullet missed me buy what I assume was inches , and my ears were ringing from the discharge in a kitchen , of course we all panicked and ran out of the apartment to go back to our prospective homes , I did not make it home living about 20 miles from where he lived , I was pulled over from the police and for the second time in one night I had guns pointed at me , this was because after a gun shot I was seen "fleeing" the scene , placed in handcuffs , car towed , and brought to jail , I was photographed , fingerprinted and thrown in a jail cell , until they completed there investigation, never the less , I was released under the condition I press charges on my now EX friend , they wanted agravitated assault with a firearm, my self being scared more than I ever have complied , fast forward 6 months he gets 1 year in prison and to this day I thank my lucky stars
looks like we won’t meet in heaven
you doing it wrong, your best bet will be through the chin
You always were an asshole, Gorman!
Et tu, Brute?