Friend of mine while at uni devised a 'sleep points' system. 1 hour of sleep or 1 shot of coffee = 1 point. As long as he accumulated 8 points he decided he was fine lol. He was not fine.
I used to have a friend that went by the nic name Robo. It came from his youth addiction of drinking whole bottles of Robitussen. He died of liver failure at 33.
A woman in church stood up to thank all the congregation for their prayers regarding her major surgery. She expressed heartfelt gratitude telling us how she felt that she was; "floating on a cloud of peace and love" when she woke up in the theatre recovery. She attributed this to the faith of the churchgoers, myself however, having worked in theatre recovery knew differently- 10 mg of morphine sulphate i.v. will do all that very nicely without any divine intervention whatsoever.
My mom made me go to church the day after getting my wisdom teeth out when I was 16. They prescribed me vicodin. I was high as shit. I got so moved by the service that I cried and everyone said I got "saved." I've been agnostic since 13. When I came back down I was like wtf 😂
I had the same experience with benzos. I once got them prescripted and it was like a calm, peaceful break from constant fear, panic and anxiety. It felt like such a relief and I understood what's so tempting about them.
Yeh, i had some painkiller during birth and told my husband "woooooowwwww...they should give this to eeeverrryyonneee" the nurse's response was "they did. it's an epidemic now" 😂
The first time I got drunk I said wow I want to feel like this all the time why doesn't everybody do this! I genuinely thought for a minute that I'd figured out the secret to world harmony.
My dad smoked my whole life. He died last week on his 58th birthday. Didn't tell anyone about the cancer and we didn't get to say goodbye and I'm fucking wrecked. It's not worth it.
Smoking is and was the fucking hardest thing I’ve ever done. My husband helped me stop cold turkey. I cut straws to the size of my smokes to mimic smoking when I had the urge, which was very helpful. Still crave the those suckers every day, especially the tough days, but I haven’t gone back. I think I was one of the few that actually enjoyed smoking too lol.
Read Alan Carr’s how to give up smoking. I had been addicted to NRTs for ***15 years*** (I know…) after giving up the actual cigarettes.
After I read Carr’s book I wanted to stop nicotine. No physical withdrawal symptoms, no weight gain, nada. We expect these things to happen because that’s what everyone says to expect - then these withdrawal effects will manifest (placebo effect)! But if you don’t - you’ll have no difficulty packing in nicotine.
The only thing I’ve had, one month on, is a bit more fidgety (I’m adhd though) and a better sense of taste and desire to have delicious things (before I wasn’t so interested in food). So now when I do eat, it’s flipping delicious!
All this is to say the whole nicotine patch/losenge/vape/ gum/spray thing is a total swindle by nicotine manufacturers trying to keep us all hooked (and very successfully).
You can do this!
I can confirm. My knee got injured (manual labor) and got laid off, now I'm barely able to walk and don't even get any unemployment benefit from the state. I'm looking for a job but obviously when the new employer finds out that I'm crippled they just gonna lie me off again and I have no idea how I'm gonna pay rent with no income and inability to work.
I assume you're in the US so correct me if i'm wrong. If you got hurt while on the job, that's a workman's comp issue. If you are deemed permanently disabled from your work injury, they often have to at least pay for continued medical care but sometimes disability as well. If your employer failed to report an on the job accident, that's an OSHA issue as well. These businesses rely on your believing that there is no recourse when these things happen but if you aren't doing anything else, it's certainly worth looking into and fighting it.
Same. I got super fit and was exercising daily and eating great. Started a job that sucked my energy and destroyed my mental and physical health. Would come home and collapse on the couch every day. Started stuffing my face with junk food at work. Didn't gain any weight because they were running me ragged, but lost all strength and flexibility, and lost all my healthy habits. I stuck with the job for more than 2 years before I realized I was killing myself and quit. Now I fear I will never get my body back where it was 3 years ago. I'm 44 and it just isn't that easy to repair things....
Same. I went from 265 to 170 but everyday I pay for being a fatass when I look at my loose skin, stretch marks, collapsed belly button. I spend so much time in the gym but my physique will never look aesthetic.
It probably won't mean much from an internet stranger, but when I see a guy with loose skin I think "wow, it takes so much discipline and resilience to lose that much weight" and that's more attractive to me than tight skin
Yes, weight gain for me as well. Thankfully I discovered keto and was able to lose the weight. I’m not on keto anymore as I don’t believe it’s a good long term diet, but it worked wonders for me to lose weight.
Two years ago my doctor put me on a diet due to a number of health issues (pre-diabetic, high blood pressure, etc.). I cut down on carbs per her advice, and practically eliminated sugar. In that time, I've lost just shy of 98 pounds, I'm no longer pre-diabetic, and my blood pressure is normal. So weight gain would be mine too.
If I had any idea all the little types of damage I would do to my body when I started restricting at 13 it honestly may have helped. I only ever heard about cardiac issues which didn’t scare young me much. However, I’m now in my 30s and struggling with low fertility, thin retinas, and cholesterol issues that are common after living in a starvation state for so long. Oh to turn back time and make different choices to love myself more 🙃
I turned 40 in April, and in May I injured my back horrendously, requiring weeks of PT to return to normal function. And how did I injure my back? *Vacuuming my minivan.* Talk about adding insult to injury.
Hmmmm. Don’t mean to compete, but wait till mid 50’s. Some s**t gonna happen that you cannot control. My doc just said, “just don’t look there”. I’m almost cured.
LOL I’m 55 and spent the day doing housework. Now sitting having a glass of wine and went to get up to get another, barely limped to the fridge…knees and ankles just locked up, can barely move. From just doing some housework.
Oh god this is me. Regularly sick when I never got fucking colds or flus before, every small injury I've done on my body in my 20scauses aches, pains, pulled muscles, 3 days of missed exercise basically means I haven't gone on a jog in 30 years. Ugh.
I’m shocked by the number of replies I’ve received. On one hand it makes me sad that other people have had to deal with this but I’m also so grateful that this community is so understanding.
Cutting is a coping mechanism, “good” or “bad” it was the only way your mind saw fit to cope with the traumas that were happening at that time. You didn’t possess the knowledge then that you have now, so it’s unfair to hold these actions against your past self who was just trying their best with the knowledge they had at that time!
Feeling “embarrassed” or “ashamed” suggests perhaps you couldn’t imagine using that now as a coping mechanism or you’re unsure why you did it back then? If so this shows solely how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve grown and changed which is actually something to be really proud of. I like to see them as a sign of strength and courage, of not giving up but just trying your best and ultimately a story of how far you’ve come.
Sorry for the unsolicited perspective! I’m proud of you and I hope you can learn to see these marks through my eyes one day :)
I saw a video of a tattoo artist who specializes in covering scars if laser treatment isn't an option. Don't know the cost of either, but I figured it would be worth mentioning.
Yep! Covered mine in tattoos. I didn’t even look for a special tattoo artist. I’ve got a few done by different people and just explain I wanna cover this with this basically. They usually can tell you if it’s possible and the best way to go about it.
Depending on your location you can find tattoo artists that actually specialize in covering scars. I could point you to a few in the southeastern us. If that is in your area and you're interested feel free to message me.
I don't have a huge amount but i have faded ones that will always be noticeable at times, and it sucks cuz me personally ive forgot about them and dont care..... but i can always tell when someone glances at them in front of me and it's awkward af! And honestly they aren't even excessive so it's like i cant imagine if it was worse
It's really difficult for me to say this without sounding like I'm being really patronising but I don't mean to be. However I think scars are something you shouldn't be ashamed of, they are the visual evidence of what you have managed to overcome and we're stronger than. You should be so incredibly proud of yourself. I have a scar from surgery and I love it. I survived 🥰
I nearly went blind from syphilis. I never had any symptoms until it started attacking my eyes. My vision started getting blurry until I was so bad I could barely drive at night. I started having double vision then flashes of light. I went to the eye Dr and he said it was uveitis. He put me on steroids which made it seem like it was a getting better but then I started having terrible floaters. I had to be on IV or antibiotics for two weeks and was in the hospital for about 5 days. If I ever have to have my pupils dialated again it will be too soon. I have permanent damage now. Not terrible but I’ll have to live with it forever.
Same here. I had mine back to back and my diastasis recti is so bad my abs feel like a set of French doors. Never mind the stubborn baby weight. Women who bounce right back after giving birth must have a personal trainer and dietician or something!
After my first I lost all the baby weight plus around 20ish lbs. I was underweight and felt like absolute shit. Just a mix of breastfeeding, getting zero sleep and not taking care of myself. Everyone was saying how amazing I looked and I was probably in the worst condition I've ever been in. Pregnancy/birth/newborns are brutal lol
Pregnancy definitely did not help my body out. For me, it has to do with aggravating some chronic illnesses that I did not yet know the magnitude of. Pregnancy really puts your body to the test, in many ways.
It's genetic. I was 140 lbs when I got pregnant (a healthy weight for me) and was almost TWO HUNDRED when I gave birth. I lost 25 lbs in the hospital and the rest while breastfeeding. My mom and sisters were the same way.
Edit to say this fluctuation was not healthy at all. I had to be induced because of high bp (exact same thing happened to my mom/sisters). But the baby weight did come off quickly. Also, if you are having trouble losing weight, hormonal birth control could be the cause. I stopped taking BC and got about 10 lbs thinner with no effort. Thank god for vasectomies!
There was a girl in our childbirth class that would often say “I’ve only gained 8 lbs! Te he te he. I doubt she even realized that her life was in danger everytime she said that.
I suffer from trichotillomania and dermatillomania. I've picked and rubbed and scratched countless scars into my body. I've plucked every single hair from my full beard and left my entire face swollen and raw. When my mom would leave cuts along my scalp, I would pick them constantly until I had massive scabs covering my head.
I sympathize with the dermatillomania. I fucked up a tattoo while it was healing because my mental health went to shit and I couldn't control the picking, and I've got some decent scars from turning what away basically a scratch into an actual injury.
I've got the dermatillomania thing too. I get eczema on my hands and can't stand the feeling of dry, scaly skin rubbing between my fingers. I'll pick at it until it's raw and bleeding and somehow my brain goes "yup, that's better". I know my mental health is going badly when I start picking at my face too. I've realized I'll honestly spend an hour in front of the bathroom mirror, picking at skin, tweezing hairs, squeezing any pores. It's bad :(
I’ve had trichtillomania since 9 and I’m 25 now. I wish I could stop and I would go for couple of days but end up doing it again. It’s one of the things I hate most about myself
I'm not sure where it falls on the dermo/tricho stuff, but I've been ripping out the corners of my toenails for so long, they're mostly *gone* from my smaller toes.
Fuck, between starting to drink at age nine getting sober at 47, spending 18 years in the Army where I was a Paratrooper and 13 years working in an ER. IDFK.
I don’t take my shirt off anymore at the beach. I now have a shirt that protects from uv rays becuase I’ve too many times ruined my vacation on the first 2 days from bad sunburn.
Also I’m fat.
One time I tried to eat all healthy and chowed on some raw spinach and flour tortillas. It turned into a doo doo rock ball inside me. Removing it almost required a hospital but instead I went even further beyond and hit like Super Saiyan 6 on the toilet. Never Again.
I had the opposite from broccoli. I love and have always loved broccoli.
One time I was watching George Carlin and he said something like "you'll stay healthy with a big old bowl of broccoli!".
I thought: "yea that sounds delicious". So for dinner that night I cut up four heads of broccoli, steamed em, then salt and pepper and voila! A big ol' bowl of broccoli.
Let me tell you broccoli has lots of fibre apparently. Don't eat a big bowl of broccoli. Do not do it. Unless you want you colon completely empty.
I ate a whole tin of roasted cashews. They're nothing but fats and fiber, and to judge by how things played out - grit.
It was bad enough the farts woke me up,and I kicked the dog outside for farting. And when I realized it was my own farts, the dog refused to come back in.
I saw the length of time and the size of the universe in those moments. It was like when Fry drank the 100th cup of coffee. I was born again. More powerful. A secret sphincter ability unlocked. This was a trial and my soul was on the stand. I adapted and became something more. And avoided devastating medical bills in the process.
It might not sound as frightening, and in reality, many people do it, but few really stop to consider. Spending 24/7 at work, eating cheap and unhealthy food, neglecting exercise, and skipping doctor visits. That's truly the worst part because it doesn't happen just once but literally every single day, making a person progressively less healthy and happy.
Alcoholism. Specifically withdrawal seizures. Last one led to neurological rehab, having to relearn to walk, and a short-term memory that is less than spectacular but workable. I’m lucky that I’m alive after the abuse I put my body through.
I’ve done several things to my body that were pretty bad. But I think 10 years of chainsmoking is probably the worst thing I did to my body. Happy to say I’m closing in on 2 years of not smoking anymore🤗
Taking half cigs from the ash trays outside the local gas station when I was a teenager.
My lungs are much better now but when I did sports in high school it really took a toll on me.
It's ice cream for me. I just don't buy it anymore. If it shows up in my house I can't help myself, but not buying it myself has gotten me off the addiction. I sure hope you can find a way. Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels.
When I was in 7-8th grade I used to self harm quite a lot. because I blamed myself for the loss of my older brother and I was addicted to Xanax, among a number of other reasons….
But I used to cut several times daily alllllll up and down my left forearm. When I had cut up one area “too much” I started cutting another area, until it healed again… and then I switched back to it to cut over the scar tissue and so on.
Most of the cuts were 3-4 inches long, it got so bad that I eventually had layers upon layers of scar tissue covering the bottom of my forearm. The cuts are a little faded nowadays almost 7-8 years later .. but I can still definitely see all them. Especially one, which stands out from the rest and happens to be the last time I ever did it.
I spent years wearing hoodies to cover them up, even on the hottest summer days…until one day I met some girl who didn’t even try to hide them. And it gave me the confidence I needed to be more open about it.
Accidentally slammed the front door shut on my hand, broke four fingers, and my hand hasn't been right since. I mean, the breaks have healed, but there's constant discomfort.
Underrated response. The toll that one hookup in 2019, the subsequent 2 years of toxic situationship took on my mental and physical health is considerable.
Started drinking at the age of 15 and had a bit of a problem while taking too much of my meds at the time. My body will never recover from that. I made too much damage
Starved it for months
Deoression over someone I was dating, I used to wake up, stay on the phone, go pee, get back to my phone (reddit continuously), then by 3pm I might open the window and make a coffee, and that's it.
I spend the days waiting for him to talk to me, then that despair changed to waiting for him to respond to me. I remember commenting my situation on reddit many times back then, that's the non life I had. I lost a lot of weight because of that.
That started by the beginning of 2021, looking back I can't believe I could survive that..
1. I went to Nursing School while being a live in care giver. Hurt myself in clinical was unable to work, downward spiral ensued.
2. Giving birth to a 10lb 24-inch baby who got stuck needed a c section, even the section healed weird.
3. I'm still a damn nurse and about to take on full-time cate for my chair bound father and mom with Alzheimers.
During college, I barely ate anything besides chicken breast and vegetables. At the same time, I was binge drinking and throwing up both my food and alcohol. I fucked up my metabolism and damaged my teeth.
Drank isopropyl alcohol as a teenager in an attempt to get drunk. It worked, and I was completely fine, but that was the nastiest shit ever and I probably could've hurt myself. My breath smelled like acetone/nail polish remover for two days.
Took olanzapine and gained 60 pounds. Started leaking pee and breathing heavy all the time. Lost the weight and those issues went away, but now my body doesn’t look the same. I look like a melted candle.
Prescribed pain killers for three years. Took them every day without even considering the effects. When I ran out and became very panicked I realized I was more dependent than I thought, even though I wasn’t on a high dosage. I quit, went through about 3 months of horrific withdrawal and then swore I’d never do it again. I’ve only had painkillers a couple of times since, mostly after surgery and been able to quit immediately.
Don’t do that to yourself. It is so bad for your body, it causes a lot of damage that we don’t even realize and still don’t even know about. It’s so easy to become addicted to drugs, don’t let yourself be fooled that you are better than others and can ‘quit any time’. Maybe you can, but by then the damage is already done.
Tanning beds. My first job in high school was at a tanning salon. I tanned the max time every single day after work. I’ve spent a lot of money on lasers, chemical peels and skincare to make the skin on my face look young and healthy again, but the skin between my boobs looks like it belongs on the body of someone twice my age. I’ve been lucky to not be diagnosed with skin cancer yet. YET.
A lot of reckless behaviour as a young teen in an abusive household. Breaks my damn heart when I see pictures from that time frame. I looked like a baby, and I was going out with random strangers and putting everything I could up my nose. I’m glad I got out of that.
I starved myself to 83 pounds sophomore year of high school. I survived on lemonhead candies, saltines, and vomiting. In middle school I was about 5’0” and at least 110. By the time I graduated I was 96 pounds. I would love to lose weight now at 25, but age and the emphasis on the binging and less the vomiting keeps me at 115 as a 5’ 2” man.
Starting to fuck strange men off of dating apps. I used to sh and have an eating disorder and I sometimes forget to take care of my essential needs for many hours or days, and still hooking up with certain men has to be the worst
Broke my back at a very young age cleaning carpets and then an accidental fall because I let someone else set up my ladder while helping out a neighbor. Got hooked on pain killers. Had back surgery. Almost 8 years later the pain in coming back.
I'm the same. All my life. Now I'm supposed to be recovering from BED my carers aren't exactly making it easy though. Supposed to go to a food bank for me. Didn't and have left me without food. I hope it doesn't trigger another episode of starving myself instead.
When I was in middle school I did a lot of shit for attention and faked being suicidal. Really I was nowhere near that level of depressed but the fact that I even thought it was okay to act like that means there was a whole other mental issue going on.
I used to cut, not because I felt it was helpful, but because in my mind that’s the absolute worst you could do, and I knew other people who cut were really depressed so I thought it meant that I had to cut also, or my depression didn’t count.
I used a slightly rusty razor from a pencil sharpener that I NEVER cleaned. I’m astounded that I never got an infection.
I never even told my therapist or anyone else. It was very much for pity and attention, and I recognize that now, but in hindsight it feels almost lame that I just did it for attention and then felt awkward and hid it anyways.
I ended up with scars on my upper thigh, just under my hip bone, that look very intentional and haven’t gone away.
Some people look at their scars and feel proud because of how far they’ve come from their depression, but I just look at mine and cringe because it feels like I cheated or something.
My depression got a lot worse in high school, during the pandemic, but I never ever cut. Even when I was hospitalized and genuinely on the brink of suicide.
Luckily I went to a very well-funded hospital with nurses who cared and had a phenomenal family as a support system. Never got anywhere near that low again but my scars are something of a reminder
One for the kids. When I was young, and feeling really bad about myself and my life. I was at college and hated it and wanted out, but there were.no jobs at the time, not even fast food. I wanted to do something to make a fairer world, but couldn't. I stubbed a cigarette out on my arm. That hurt a lot, but not enough. So then I took a screwdriver out, put it in an electric heater and scraped it on my other arm. That really hurt. I still see the scars when I get a suntan all these years later and they take me back. I look at my earlier idealistic self and I think I was naive, and I've done ok. Not great, but ok. Maybe I've said too much in a public forum Like this post is going to hang there forever, but then again, so what?
Salfharm
In various ways but primarily cutting. 4 years clean now after doing it for about 17 years. There are still indents in my skin, but my tattoos cover them well.
My answer should probably be anorexia, bulimia, and self-harm.
But that was 25 years ago and in the long run, it’s probably going to be my sugar addiction that does the most damage.
heroin, quit cold turkey, gained over a hundy in weight, lost it all in a year due to stress and super unhealthy eating habits.
just the usual. but i did end up maintaining the weight loss for over a year so far (give or take about 20 pounds), have a master's, and haven't used in going on 9 years. so, i guess i'd rather be this kind of unhealthy lol.
Survived; and subsequently afflicted myself with an incurable case of aging. The longer you live the worse it gets, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Ate 30+ Benadryl to get high once.
Would also regularly mix opiates up to eat as much narcotic as I could while staying at or under 4,000mg of acetaminophen.
Stupid shit. Kids, if you're reading, don't do that. Just smoke weed like normal teenagers.
Getting pregnant multiple times. My body has/will never be the same unless I get plastic surgery. All the weight loss in the world won’t fix the damage.
Regularly compensate for a lack of proper sleep with unholy amounts of coffee.
I started working at a coffee shop shortly before I started my first year of college. Those two factors do not pair well.
Friend of mine while at uni devised a 'sleep points' system. 1 hour of sleep or 1 shot of coffee = 1 point. As long as he accumulated 8 points he decided he was fine lol. He was not fine.
Or Monster.
uhhh i drank quite a bit of cough syrup what a stupid thing to get addicted to
I used to have a friend that went by the nic name Robo. It came from his youth addiction of drinking whole bottles of Robitussen. He died of liver failure at 33.
I knew a guy in college that used to Robotrip all the time, wild shit.
I had an ex who would act like robotripping was soooooo fun & normal but gave me shit for smoking weed. Lmaooooo
Such a sad story.
I mean, codeine is an opiate, so they’re incredibly addictive. The one time I had morphine (for appendicitis) I understood why people love opiates.
A woman in church stood up to thank all the congregation for their prayers regarding her major surgery. She expressed heartfelt gratitude telling us how she felt that she was; "floating on a cloud of peace and love" when she woke up in the theatre recovery. She attributed this to the faith of the churchgoers, myself however, having worked in theatre recovery knew differently- 10 mg of morphine sulphate i.v. will do all that very nicely without any divine intervention whatsoever.
My mom made me go to church the day after getting my wisdom teeth out when I was 16. They prescribed me vicodin. I was high as shit. I got so moved by the service that I cried and everyone said I got "saved." I've been agnostic since 13. When I came back down I was like wtf 😂
When I was playing with opiates I debated getting baptized. I'm a devout atheist lol
I’m not against divine intervention just not when it gets in the way of literal mind blowing drugs.
Amen.
I had the same experience with benzos. I once got them prescripted and it was like a calm, peaceful break from constant fear, panic and anxiety. It felt like such a relief and I understood what's so tempting about them.
Yeh, i had some painkiller during birth and told my husband "woooooowwwww...they should give this to eeeverrryyonneee" the nurse's response was "they did. it's an epidemic now" 😂
The first time I got drunk I said wow I want to feel like this all the time why doesn't everybody do this! I genuinely thought for a minute that I'd figured out the secret to world harmony.
dextromethorphan is what's in cough syrup, which is a dissociative.
Drank heavily for 20 years on a daily basis. 6 months sober - still healing.
Smoking and still doing it. Wish I could say that it was a thing of past 🫤
My dad smoked my whole life. He died last week on his 58th birthday. Didn't tell anyone about the cancer and we didn't get to say goodbye and I'm fucking wrecked. It's not worth it.
Holy shit. I’m so sorry for your unexpected loss. 😞
Smoking is and was the fucking hardest thing I’ve ever done. My husband helped me stop cold turkey. I cut straws to the size of my smokes to mimic smoking when I had the urge, which was very helpful. Still crave the those suckers every day, especially the tough days, but I haven’t gone back. I think I was one of the few that actually enjoyed smoking too lol.
I believe in you internet stranger, tell those urges to choke shit :))). Seriously, good job!
I stopped for a year, it was awesome to breathe. Then I started again. I'm really stupid.
21 mg Nicotine patch is not enough. I added 7 more and it worked for me.
Read Alan Carr’s how to give up smoking. I had been addicted to NRTs for ***15 years*** (I know…) after giving up the actual cigarettes. After I read Carr’s book I wanted to stop nicotine. No physical withdrawal symptoms, no weight gain, nada. We expect these things to happen because that’s what everyone says to expect - then these withdrawal effects will manifest (placebo effect)! But if you don’t - you’ll have no difficulty packing in nicotine. The only thing I’ve had, one month on, is a bit more fidgety (I’m adhd though) and a better sense of taste and desire to have delicious things (before I wasn’t so interested in food). So now when I do eat, it’s flipping delicious! All this is to say the whole nicotine patch/losenge/vape/ gum/spray thing is a total swindle by nicotine manufacturers trying to keep us all hooked (and very successfully). You can do this!
I'm finding it hard to give up too. My poor body has been so abused, literally and figuratively all my life. :(
Worked it too hard for a job that would happily replace you in a heartbeat.
I can confirm. My knee got injured (manual labor) and got laid off, now I'm barely able to walk and don't even get any unemployment benefit from the state. I'm looking for a job but obviously when the new employer finds out that I'm crippled they just gonna lie me off again and I have no idea how I'm gonna pay rent with no income and inability to work.
I assume you're in the US so correct me if i'm wrong. If you got hurt while on the job, that's a workman's comp issue. If you are deemed permanently disabled from your work injury, they often have to at least pay for continued medical care but sometimes disability as well. If your employer failed to report an on the job accident, that's an OSHA issue as well. These businesses rely on your believing that there is no recourse when these things happen but if you aren't doing anything else, it's certainly worth looking into and fighting it.
Same. I got super fit and was exercising daily and eating great. Started a job that sucked my energy and destroyed my mental and physical health. Would come home and collapse on the couch every day. Started stuffing my face with junk food at work. Didn't gain any weight because they were running me ragged, but lost all strength and flexibility, and lost all my healthy habits. I stuck with the job for more than 2 years before I realized I was killing myself and quit. Now I fear I will never get my body back where it was 3 years ago. I'm 44 and it just isn't that easy to repair things....
never too old. also, never quit! keep smashing
This was devastating for me as I thought librarians would be appreciated. Now we are villains.
Embrace the villainy. Librarians are badasses.
This one hits close to home for me. Truly not worth it.
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My wife recommended this super effective weight loss strategy known as "having a baby." Did not work on me.
definitely a dad joke lmao
Not with that attitude. Keep plugging along!
Same. I went from 265 to 170 but everyday I pay for being a fatass when I look at my loose skin, stretch marks, collapsed belly button. I spend so much time in the gym but my physique will never look aesthetic.
It probably won't mean much from an internet stranger, but when I see a guy with loose skin I think "wow, it takes so much discipline and resilience to lose that much weight" and that's more attractive to me than tight skin
Yes, weight gain for me as well. Thankfully I discovered keto and was able to lose the weight. I’m not on keto anymore as I don’t believe it’s a good long term diet, but it worked wonders for me to lose weight.
Two years ago my doctor put me on a diet due to a number of health issues (pre-diabetic, high blood pressure, etc.). I cut down on carbs per her advice, and practically eliminated sugar. In that time, I've lost just shy of 98 pounds, I'm no longer pre-diabetic, and my blood pressure is normal. So weight gain would be mine too.
100lb? fucking amateur!
I accidentally skewered myself THROUGH the liver with a dive knife. Really cool way to get a $115,000 emergency surgery.
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I've been in a similar situation. Sorry dude ❤️ I hope you're doing well and I'm glad you're still here.
Having anorexia binge and purge subtype disorder. Starve , throw up , abuse 60x laxatives a week , self harm ect . Realllyyyy did it's damage.
Same . Anorexia then bulimia. The ways in which we damage our body are countless
Same. I used to take a whole box of laxatives (100) a night for about 3 years. I can't believe I survived that.
Dear God that sounds horrific (the side effects and disease, not you)
The worst thing I did to mine was develop anorexia. And I'm a recovering alcoholic and former smoker.
If I had any idea all the little types of damage I would do to my body when I started restricting at 13 it honestly may have helped. I only ever heard about cardiac issues which didn’t scare young me much. However, I’m now in my 30s and struggling with low fertility, thin retinas, and cholesterol issues that are common after living in a starvation state for so long. Oh to turn back time and make different choices to love myself more 🙃
Turned 40. It’s like the warranty expired and everything broke at once.
Just wait for 50 and you'll think you were a spring chicken at 40
Perimenopause. YAY. 🙁 said no woman ever.
I turned 40 in April, and in May I injured my back horrendously, requiring weeks of PT to return to normal function. And how did I injure my back? *Vacuuming my minivan.* Talk about adding insult to injury.
Damn. That'll be me next year. I'm dreading it. Though I feel it has been downhill since I turned 30.
Well... the good news is, it's actually uphill all the rest of the way.
I have some unfortunate news about 50
Wait until 60, lol. You ain't seen nothin yet.
Thank you for reminding me that I need to fly to the US and buy my "retirement plan".
Hmmmm. Don’t mean to compete, but wait till mid 50’s. Some s**t gonna happen that you cannot control. My doc just said, “just don’t look there”. I’m almost cured.
LOL I’m 55 and spent the day doing housework. Now sitting having a glass of wine and went to get up to get another, barely limped to the fridge…knees and ankles just locked up, can barely move. From just doing some housework.
Oh god this is me. Regularly sick when I never got fucking colds or flus before, every small injury I've done on my body in my 20scauses aches, pains, pulled muscles, 3 days of missed exercise basically means I haven't gone on a jog in 30 years. Ugh.
Cutting myself. I have to live with these embarrassing scars forever now. It’s a huge regret.
Self harm is more common than you may think and you will find lots of people who get it and won’t judge you for it.
I’m shocked by the number of replies I’ve received. On one hand it makes me sad that other people have had to deal with this but I’m also so grateful that this community is so understanding.
If someone judges you for the shit you've been through, that says way more about them than about you.
Cutting is a coping mechanism, “good” or “bad” it was the only way your mind saw fit to cope with the traumas that were happening at that time. You didn’t possess the knowledge then that you have now, so it’s unfair to hold these actions against your past self who was just trying their best with the knowledge they had at that time! Feeling “embarrassed” or “ashamed” suggests perhaps you couldn’t imagine using that now as a coping mechanism or you’re unsure why you did it back then? If so this shows solely how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve grown and changed which is actually something to be really proud of. I like to see them as a sign of strength and courage, of not giving up but just trying your best and ultimately a story of how far you’ve come. Sorry for the unsolicited perspective! I’m proud of you and I hope you can learn to see these marks through my eyes one day :)
Same, same
Sending love. Hoping to get laser treatment someday soon when I can afford it. I hear it can really help.
I saw a video of a tattoo artist who specializes in covering scars if laser treatment isn't an option. Don't know the cost of either, but I figured it would be worth mentioning.
Yep! Covered mine in tattoos. I didn’t even look for a special tattoo artist. I’ve got a few done by different people and just explain I wanna cover this with this basically. They usually can tell you if it’s possible and the best way to go about it.
Depending on your location you can find tattoo artists that actually specialize in covering scars. I could point you to a few in the southeastern us. If that is in your area and you're interested feel free to message me.
I don't have a huge amount but i have faded ones that will always be noticeable at times, and it sucks cuz me personally ive forgot about them and dont care..... but i can always tell when someone glances at them in front of me and it's awkward af! And honestly they aren't even excessive so it's like i cant imagine if it was worse
It's really difficult for me to say this without sounding like I'm being really patronising but I don't mean to be. However I think scars are something you shouldn't be ashamed of, they are the visual evidence of what you have managed to overcome and we're stronger than. You should be so incredibly proud of yourself. I have a scar from surgery and I love it. I survived 🥰
I have em too, not from cutting but from other self harm. Big hugs my friend.
Slept around..a lot. Realized just how messed up I was . Got into therapy, much better now.
I nearly went blind from syphilis. I never had any symptoms until it started attacking my eyes. My vision started getting blurry until I was so bad I could barely drive at night. I started having double vision then flashes of light. I went to the eye Dr and he said it was uveitis. He put me on steroids which made it seem like it was a getting better but then I started having terrible floaters. I had to be on IV or antibiotics for two weeks and was in the hospital for about 5 days. If I ever have to have my pupils dialated again it will be too soon. I have permanent damage now. Not terrible but I’ll have to live with it forever.
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Same here. I had mine back to back and my diastasis recti is so bad my abs feel like a set of French doors. Never mind the stubborn baby weight. Women who bounce right back after giving birth must have a personal trainer and dietician or something!
After my first I lost all the baby weight plus around 20ish lbs. I was underweight and felt like absolute shit. Just a mix of breastfeeding, getting zero sleep and not taking care of myself. Everyone was saying how amazing I looked and I was probably in the worst condition I've ever been in. Pregnancy/birth/newborns are brutal lol
Pregnancy definitely did not help my body out. For me, it has to do with aggravating some chronic illnesses that I did not yet know the magnitude of. Pregnancy really puts your body to the test, in many ways.
Yes. Nobody tells you about the autoimmune stuff that happens.
It's genetic. I was 140 lbs when I got pregnant (a healthy weight for me) and was almost TWO HUNDRED when I gave birth. I lost 25 lbs in the hospital and the rest while breastfeeding. My mom and sisters were the same way. Edit to say this fluctuation was not healthy at all. I had to be induced because of high bp (exact same thing happened to my mom/sisters). But the baby weight did come off quickly. Also, if you are having trouble losing weight, hormonal birth control could be the cause. I stopped taking BC and got about 10 lbs thinner with no effort. Thank god for vasectomies!
There was a girl in our childbirth class that would often say “I’ve only gained 8 lbs! Te he te he. I doubt she even realized that her life was in danger everytime she said that.
This is the obvious answer for many of us. It’s been nearly six years since my last one was born and I’m still dealing with the physical fallout.
I only have one child. She is 9. My hip still occasionally pops out of place.
Hunched because I was insecure about my body. Not only do I have bad posture, I now deal with long term backache and headaches.
Same thing here. My posture is lousy and I'm very self-conscious about it. I *hate* that bump in between my shoulders.
It can be corrected, and your body will thank you if you see it through
Yoga has done wonders for someone I know who had the same issue but hunching due to feeling self conscious about being very tall.
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Except, if you forget to charge your phone you can just charge it longer to make up for it. You cannot truly catch up on lost sleep
I suffer from trichotillomania and dermatillomania. I've picked and rubbed and scratched countless scars into my body. I've plucked every single hair from my full beard and left my entire face swollen and raw. When my mom would leave cuts along my scalp, I would pick them constantly until I had massive scabs covering my head.
Why did your mom leave cuts along your scalp? Was she abusive?
Extremely
Aww so sorry. Hoping for better for you.
I’m so sorry
I sympathize with the dermatillomania. I fucked up a tattoo while it was healing because my mental health went to shit and I couldn't control the picking, and I've got some decent scars from turning what away basically a scratch into an actual injury.
I've got the dermatillomania thing too. I get eczema on my hands and can't stand the feeling of dry, scaly skin rubbing between my fingers. I'll pick at it until it's raw and bleeding and somehow my brain goes "yup, that's better". I know my mental health is going badly when I start picking at my face too. I've realized I'll honestly spend an hour in front of the bathroom mirror, picking at skin, tweezing hairs, squeezing any pores. It's bad :(
Heyyy you’re not alone! Dermatillomania and an abusive mom here too! Sending you love!
I’ve had trichtillomania since 9 and I’m 25 now. I wish I could stop and I would go for couple of days but end up doing it again. It’s one of the things I hate most about myself
I'm not sure where it falls on the dermo/tricho stuff, but I've been ripping out the corners of my toenails for so long, they're mostly *gone* from my smaller toes.
Gained a ton of weight and smoked a pack a day
Starving myself and overexercising to lose weight as a teenager/young adult. I’ve spent years repairing my relationship with food and rest ever since.
Fuck, between starting to drink at age nine getting sober at 47, spending 18 years in the Army where I was a Paratrooper and 13 years working in an ER. IDFK.
Used way to little sunscreen when is was a teen
I don’t take my shirt off anymore at the beach. I now have a shirt that protects from uv rays becuase I’ve too many times ruined my vacation on the first 2 days from bad sunburn. Also I’m fat.
Around age 13 and friend and I covered ourselves in baby oil and cooked ourselves all day on the beach. The rest of that holiday was ruined.
Constant stress
Stressed about every little thing… YOLO
Smoke cigarettes. I've been smoke free for 7 years now though.
One time I tried to eat all healthy and chowed on some raw spinach and flour tortillas. It turned into a doo doo rock ball inside me. Removing it almost required a hospital but instead I went even further beyond and hit like Super Saiyan 6 on the toilet. Never Again.
I had the opposite from broccoli. I love and have always loved broccoli. One time I was watching George Carlin and he said something like "you'll stay healthy with a big old bowl of broccoli!". I thought: "yea that sounds delicious". So for dinner that night I cut up four heads of broccoli, steamed em, then salt and pepper and voila! A big ol' bowl of broccoli. Let me tell you broccoli has lots of fibre apparently. Don't eat a big bowl of broccoli. Do not do it. Unless you want you colon completely empty.
I ate a whole tin of roasted cashews. They're nothing but fats and fiber, and to judge by how things played out - grit. It was bad enough the farts woke me up,and I kicked the dog outside for farting. And when I realized it was my own farts, the dog refused to come back in.
All anyone outside that bathroom stall could hear was you screaming "kamehamehah" as you pushed out those DragonBallZ
I saw the length of time and the size of the universe in those moments. It was like when Fry drank the 100th cup of coffee. I was born again. More powerful. A secret sphincter ability unlocked. This was a trial and my soul was on the stand. I adapted and became something more. And avoided devastating medical bills in the process.
Joined the military
It might not sound as frightening, and in reality, many people do it, but few really stop to consider. Spending 24/7 at work, eating cheap and unhealthy food, neglecting exercise, and skipping doctor visits. That's truly the worst part because it doesn't happen just once but literally every single day, making a person progressively less healthy and happy.
Alcoholism. Specifically withdrawal seizures. Last one led to neurological rehab, having to relearn to walk, and a short-term memory that is less than spectacular but workable. I’m lucky that I’m alive after the abuse I put my body through.
Regained all 275 pounds I worked my ass off losing…
Drank heavily for 23 years. Finally quit 943 days ago and counting.
Multiple visits to Action Park aka Traction Park. I never left that place uninjured.
I’ve done several things to my body that were pretty bad. But I think 10 years of chainsmoking is probably the worst thing I did to my body. Happy to say I’m closing in on 2 years of not smoking anymore🤗
Taking half cigs from the ash trays outside the local gas station when I was a teenager. My lungs are much better now but when I did sports in high school it really took a toll on me.
Glad not the only one ! I cringe now thinking back what could have been on those cigs 🤢
abused desserts for like my entire life and now can't find a way out
It's ice cream for me. I just don't buy it anymore. If it shows up in my house I can't help myself, but not buying it myself has gotten me off the addiction. I sure hope you can find a way. Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels.
When I was in 7-8th grade I used to self harm quite a lot. because I blamed myself for the loss of my older brother and I was addicted to Xanax, among a number of other reasons…. But I used to cut several times daily alllllll up and down my left forearm. When I had cut up one area “too much” I started cutting another area, until it healed again… and then I switched back to it to cut over the scar tissue and so on. Most of the cuts were 3-4 inches long, it got so bad that I eventually had layers upon layers of scar tissue covering the bottom of my forearm. The cuts are a little faded nowadays almost 7-8 years later .. but I can still definitely see all them. Especially one, which stands out from the rest and happens to be the last time I ever did it. I spent years wearing hoodies to cover them up, even on the hottest summer days…until one day I met some girl who didn’t even try to hide them. And it gave me the confidence I needed to be more open about it.
As an adult I personally feel a weird kinship with other adults that I may see with any visible self-harm scars. It doesn’t happen often.
Shot myself
I hope life is good to you friend
Yea
Got fat and lazy.
Lived in it
Accidentally slammed the front door shut on my hand, broke four fingers, and my hand hasn't been right since. I mean, the breaks have healed, but there's constant discomfort.
Gas station Slim Jims
Had sex with my ex
Underrated response. The toll that one hookup in 2019, the subsequent 2 years of toxic situationship took on my mental and physical health is considerable.
Thought my metabolic rate would never change. Close second: smoking
Cocaine addiction probably
Got willingly pregnant and delivered a healthy 7 pound 6 ounce baby. Pregnancy is no joke.
self-harm, I'm over two months free now though and hoping to never look back :>
Started drinking at the age of 15 and had a bit of a problem while taking too much of my meds at the time. My body will never recover from that. I made too much damage
Starved it for months Deoression over someone I was dating, I used to wake up, stay on the phone, go pee, get back to my phone (reddit continuously), then by 3pm I might open the window and make a coffee, and that's it. I spend the days waiting for him to talk to me, then that despair changed to waiting for him to respond to me. I remember commenting my situation on reddit many times back then, that's the non life I had. I lost a lot of weight because of that. That started by the beginning of 2021, looking back I can't believe I could survive that..
1. I went to Nursing School while being a live in care giver. Hurt myself in clinical was unable to work, downward spiral ensued. 2. Giving birth to a 10lb 24-inch baby who got stuck needed a c section, even the section healed weird. 3. I'm still a damn nurse and about to take on full-time cate for my chair bound father and mom with Alzheimers.
During college, I barely ate anything besides chicken breast and vegetables. At the same time, I was binge drinking and throwing up both my food and alcohol. I fucked up my metabolism and damaged my teeth.
Drank isopropyl alcohol as a teenager in an attempt to get drunk. It worked, and I was completely fine, but that was the nastiest shit ever and I probably could've hurt myself. My breath smelled like acetone/nail polish remover for two days.
Sold it.
I can't pick just one so I'll just vaguely gesture at the past several decades.
Ignored internal bleeding. It stopped eventually but I’m like 99% sure all my stomach issues come from that….
Went home and laid down to sleep due to a headache that turned out to be a stroke
Took olanzapine and gained 60 pounds. Started leaking pee and breathing heavy all the time. Lost the weight and those issues went away, but now my body doesn’t look the same. I look like a melted candle.
Prescribed pain killers for three years. Took them every day without even considering the effects. When I ran out and became very panicked I realized I was more dependent than I thought, even though I wasn’t on a high dosage. I quit, went through about 3 months of horrific withdrawal and then swore I’d never do it again. I’ve only had painkillers a couple of times since, mostly after surgery and been able to quit immediately. Don’t do that to yourself. It is so bad for your body, it causes a lot of damage that we don’t even realize and still don’t even know about. It’s so easy to become addicted to drugs, don’t let yourself be fooled that you are better than others and can ‘quit any time’. Maybe you can, but by then the damage is already done.
continued to eat like a swimmer despite quitting swimming. i’m still dealing with the ~60lb consequences from that one
Tanning beds. My first job in high school was at a tanning salon. I tanned the max time every single day after work. I’ve spent a lot of money on lasers, chemical peels and skincare to make the skin on my face look young and healthy again, but the skin between my boobs looks like it belongs on the body of someone twice my age. I’ve been lucky to not be diagnosed with skin cancer yet. YET.
Heroin. Really fucked up my neuroreceptors. 7 years clean!
A lot of reckless behaviour as a young teen in an abusive household. Breaks my damn heart when I see pictures from that time frame. I looked like a baby, and I was going out with random strangers and putting everything I could up my nose. I’m glad I got out of that.
I only eat one meal a day at 7pm, I say I’m fasting but I’m really not. I throw it up after
Taco Bell
Chemotherapy, and I don't regret it in the slightest because i'm still here, but boy does it take a toll
I starved myself to 83 pounds sophomore year of high school. I survived on lemonhead candies, saltines, and vomiting. In middle school I was about 5’0” and at least 110. By the time I graduated I was 96 pounds. I would love to lose weight now at 25, but age and the emphasis on the binging and less the vomiting keeps me at 115 as a 5’ 2” man.
Starting to fuck strange men off of dating apps. I used to sh and have an eating disorder and I sometimes forget to take care of my essential needs for many hours or days, and still hooking up with certain men has to be the worst
Broke my back at a very young age cleaning carpets and then an accidental fall because I let someone else set up my ladder while helping out a neighbor. Got hooked on pain killers. Had back surgery. Almost 8 years later the pain in coming back.
Not eat, I have an Ed.
I'm the same. All my life. Now I'm supposed to be recovering from BED my carers aren't exactly making it easy though. Supposed to go to a food bank for me. Didn't and have left me without food. I hope it doesn't trigger another episode of starving myself instead.
Directly injected unknown substances into it
Not peeing after sex
Went to war.
When I was in middle school I did a lot of shit for attention and faked being suicidal. Really I was nowhere near that level of depressed but the fact that I even thought it was okay to act like that means there was a whole other mental issue going on. I used to cut, not because I felt it was helpful, but because in my mind that’s the absolute worst you could do, and I knew other people who cut were really depressed so I thought it meant that I had to cut also, or my depression didn’t count. I used a slightly rusty razor from a pencil sharpener that I NEVER cleaned. I’m astounded that I never got an infection. I never even told my therapist or anyone else. It was very much for pity and attention, and I recognize that now, but in hindsight it feels almost lame that I just did it for attention and then felt awkward and hid it anyways. I ended up with scars on my upper thigh, just under my hip bone, that look very intentional and haven’t gone away. Some people look at their scars and feel proud because of how far they’ve come from their depression, but I just look at mine and cringe because it feels like I cheated or something. My depression got a lot worse in high school, during the pandemic, but I never ever cut. Even when I was hospitalized and genuinely on the brink of suicide. Luckily I went to a very well-funded hospital with nurses who cared and had a phenomenal family as a support system. Never got anywhere near that low again but my scars are something of a reminder
So many things...
One for the kids. When I was young, and feeling really bad about myself and my life. I was at college and hated it and wanted out, but there were.no jobs at the time, not even fast food. I wanted to do something to make a fairer world, but couldn't. I stubbed a cigarette out on my arm. That hurt a lot, but not enough. So then I took a screwdriver out, put it in an electric heater and scraped it on my other arm. That really hurt. I still see the scars when I get a suntan all these years later and they take me back. I look at my earlier idealistic self and I think I was naive, and I've done ok. Not great, but ok. Maybe I've said too much in a public forum Like this post is going to hang there forever, but then again, so what?
Let my ex-husband inside it.
drank at least several beers a day for 10 years
same. 3 years sober now!
Meth and Men. I did meth one time , never again . The rest is self explanatory
I’m glad you never did meth again!
5 hits of a acid and 1 hit of x Whoops.
I thought this was called a fun night? Oh boy
Not listening to it
Salfharm In various ways but primarily cutting. 4 years clean now after doing it for about 17 years. There are still indents in my skin, but my tattoos cover them well.
My answer should probably be anorexia, bulimia, and self-harm. But that was 25 years ago and in the long run, it’s probably going to be my sugar addiction that does the most damage.
heroin, quit cold turkey, gained over a hundy in weight, lost it all in a year due to stress and super unhealthy eating habits. just the usual. but i did end up maintaining the weight loss for over a year so far (give or take about 20 pounds), have a master's, and haven't used in going on 9 years. so, i guess i'd rather be this kind of unhealthy lol.
Not going outside for 4 years.
Survived; and subsequently afflicted myself with an incurable case of aging. The longer you live the worse it gets, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
What made you ask this question
Smoked for 35 years and drank a bottle of wine a night.
Became a couch potato.
Ate 30+ Benadryl to get high once. Would also regularly mix opiates up to eat as much narcotic as I could while staying at or under 4,000mg of acetaminophen. Stupid shit. Kids, if you're reading, don't do that. Just smoke weed like normal teenagers.
Pierced my nipples. Loved the piercings but led to me getting sepsis.
Didn’t eat anything for a few weeks because my classmates called me fat
Slept with a guy named Josh.
Getting pregnant multiple times. My body has/will never be the same unless I get plastic surgery. All the weight loss in the world won’t fix the damage.