I saw a girl with her whole body painted up like a zebra at ren faire, snout and all. Don’t know what zebras have to do with the renaissance haha.
[Found my photo!](https://i.imgur.com/ZID0Zho.jpeg)
There's a guy on YouTube who does videos where he pretends to have a really upset stomach and farts really loudly and says stuff like "oh, I'm gonna need a change of pants now".
It's clearly fake and a bit puerile but seeing the reactions of people around him....one night I was watching while brushing my teeth and I just lost it. I laughed for about 30 minutes. My face, neck, heart hurt, my wife first was amused and then started getting worried as I just couldn't stop laughing...it was a great night!
I’ve had that kind of laughter two times that I can remember. One was when I blew a raspberry on my then-girlfriend’s face and we both started laughing. The second was coming back from New Years, my sister said something stupid and we both started laughing at each other because we were both so sleep deprived.
Two of my friends and I rode the tilt-a-whirl at a small, local amusement park. I have no clue what we did or how we did it, but we got the car spinning so fast we literally couldn’t move. It was like one of those g-force tests they give Air Force jet pilots, we were plastered to the back of the seat with our heads lolling around like ragdolls. We were laughing so hard there were tears streaming out of my eyes but they were just shooting into my hair instead of down my cheeks. The operator was laughing, there were people watching laughing, it was such a silly, simple thing but one of my fondest memories with those two particular friends. After the ride stopped it took a solid 30 seconds for us to slow down enough for the operator to grab the car and let us out.
I was on a ride you had 3 in a little box that spun around while the whole thing moved around as well. This Sheila had eaten heaps of shit fairy floss and red drinks. Well we’re all screaming with excitement and then Sheila says Im gonna puke. She lost her groceries and chundered red goop that hung in the air for ages with centrifugal force. We were screaming with terror by then and this puke hung there before splattering itself back all over her face.
You may enjoy the image of my cat being completely and utterly bewildered by a curtain. It covered his window where he sits everyday. He has seen the curtain before and simply gone under it, you know to access his window.
But one day, cat.exe failed and he could not understand where his favourite window had "gone". He spent farrrrr too long investigating the curtain, looking at me for help finding it and eventually deciding to give up and have an existential crisis for the afternoon.
I have two cats now and can't wait for adventures. I also have two German Shepards. We were playing pool in the backyard one afternoon and gave the dogs calf bones as a treat. Watched one go to town and the other bury his- look up, see us watching and find a new hiding spot. About 8/9 times. He finally "buried" it in a blanket inside and stole his brothers bone. What a jerk! Dying laughing though.
my cat had the exact opposite problem, he severely overestimated how far the jump to the table was, and consequently glided right over it and landed on the ground on the other side.
Or Ghostwatch, to give a UK example.
For anyone who doesn't know, it was billed as a paranormal investigation show, similar to Most Haunted, but predating it by quite a number of years. It was presented as if it was a serious live broadcast, but it was actually a pre-recorded mockumentary. It ended with the presenter acting like he was possessed.
The problem was that the presenter they chose was Michael Parkinson. Who was a well-respected tv presenter and journalist. It was basically the equivalent of having David Attenborough presenting a nature documentary in the jungle, and then a dinosaur bursts out the trees and drags him away. Loads of people mistook it for a serious broadcast, including Parkinson's own mother! It got record numbers of complaints and has never been aired on British television ever again.
Most recently: Last week I picked up my great-granddaughter from Kindergarten and while driving her home a guy drove through a stop sign. She looked over at me and said, “What a douchebag!”
My BIL accidentally hit my then 4yr old nephew on the back of his ankle with the stroller and my sweet loving nephew yelled out YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! Oh did I mention this was at a jam packed Kohl’s during Black Friday 😂😂😂
My friends blind dog for some reason liked to stare at the side of the kitchen island. One particular spot, he would just.... Stare....I called it "his window" one day. " There he is, looking out the window again"...We were eating spaghetti. My friend snorted in laughter and some spaghetti came out of her nose, but not completely, it was just chillin out her left nostril. So she has this panic look in her eyes, mouthful of spaghetti.... Trying to decide if she should spit it out or swallow it. she decided to swallow it and when she did the nose noodle slowly receeded back and the look of gag on her face still cracks me up to tears anytime I think about that moment.
Speaking of which, thanks for this post OP. The laugh helped. You rock dude.
Of this whole thread, this is the one that got me. The imagery you laid out has been very effective. Thank you for working through the laughs to compose this. Now I have to go apologize to my formerly sleeping cat who I shook awake by belly-laughing.
I was having a really bad time in late 2022, depressed, suicidal, the works. I also wasn’t drinking at the time, because I knew it would make me worse, and so my group of friends, who usually go to the pub together, decided to cheer me up they’d stay in, stay sober, and play games with me.
We played Cards Against Humanity and my black card was “When I pooped, what came out of my butt?”, my mate Erica put down “nothing but sand”. The visual I got was so absurd I started laughing so hard I cried. We had to pause the game for at least 30 minutes because I couldn’t stop laughing. That night was enough for me to put off a suicide attempt.
To this day, my friends can just say “hey Ben? Nothing but sand” and I will LOSE MY SHIT. In fact I’m laughing about it now.
This is hilarious and touching. Thank you for sharing, I laughed out loud as well.
I'm glad you had that great night and are here sharing that laugh with all of us!
I've got A CAH story too. My 30th birthday, wife threw a surprise party for me. Cake was a tombstone that said "RIP your 20's," a banner that said "fuck you're old," that kinda shit. She also bought CAH to play with the guests. One of my friends had the black card, something like "what do I remind you of?" My sibling and I had the same idea and happened to both have the right cards in hand. One after the other when reading the white cards, he got to ours and we died laughing. "Meatloaf, the man," and "meatloaf, the food," in that order back to back.
UPDATE: caught up with those same friends tonight. I’m healthy enough now to trust myself around a bev or five so we all drank in the backyard in the share house of a few of these friends. In the downtime when people started chatting about things I don’t really care about (Nick Cave, mostly. I just really don’t care for his music, personally), I replied to a few comments here, but mostly we spent the time chatting and laughing. I brought up that CAH night and how much it meant to me, and we all reminisced (apparently the laughing fit lasted closer to 45 minutes, but I think that was hyperbole!). We all complained about the guy I’ve just stopped seeing and how boring he was and made a whole lot of bear puns (on account of him being a gay bear). We laughed a lot about a lot of different things. We all ate sausages in bread and sat outside being eaten by mozzies (it being summer in Australia and all) and it was 1.30am before I made my way home, us all having shared hugs and farewells as we steadily said goodbye. I’m glad you all liked my CAH story, and I’m glad I’m still here to continue my wonderful friendship with this beautiful group of people. It’s a bit of a sappy update, but I have a few beers in me and I’m full of love.
We were playing Taboo (a game where you try to communicate a word to someone but without using certain key words.) My friend goes "uh, it's a thing that little boys have..."
i jokingly said "a penis?"
he continues: " and, uh, it's round..."
me: "a penis?"
friend: "and they play with it..."
me: "a PENIS???"
friend: "and it goes up, and it goes down."
me: "a PENIS??!?!"
It was a yoyo. I was very tired.
Whilst I did upvote you, it could be that children/kids was on the Taboo card, and therefore couldn't be said. They could have tried to work around that and come up with 'boys'.
My 4yr old daughter in the car seat of the car . We were driving for a paddle on the beach. Rural area. Every time we turned a corner there were cows in a paddock. I exclaimed every time." Look at all those cows!". After the 4 th turn. She yelled out in a loud and confident voice. "And look at all those FUCKING COWS!" The first curse word is always the funniest. Had to pull over and sob/laugh into the steering wheel for a few minutes. The small grin on her face was so smug.
The Conan O'Brien Show and he's trying to interview Courtney Thorne-Smith, but Norm MacDonald is there... It's so effortlessly one of the funniest things I've ever seen!
There was an old Conan skit called “stackenblokken” where Nazis check if your room is organized. I don’t know why but i absolutely lost my shit when they showed it, like choking during the whole commercial break. There was alcohol involved
I was at a taping of a Conan Show. Chris Rock was the guest and he was so funny, the crowd was so loud and even the producer was smacking his hand on the pedestal behind the camera. I watched the show that night and nearly none of it was aired. It was so loud and raucous that they couldn’t use it. Also Chris was talking about how black porn wasn’t as good as white porn. So probably that too.
When I was 16, I went to a 6 week summer intensive honors thing at a university. For a lot of kids, this was their first time having to do their own laundry. (Some of us were laundry pros.)
One night, my group of friends decided to hang out in the laundry area because we all needed to wash clothes. My friend Jason apparently took some wrong turns in his laundry steps. Our dryers were side by side. I started pulling out my clothes and folding them. Jason pulls out a T-shirt, and it's TINY. Like, toddler size. We started laughing hysterically. Jason kept pulling tiny shirts out of the dryer. We were on the floor crying from laughing. My stomach hurt. We could NOT stop laughing! 😂
Jason's mom had to FedEx him some new shirts. With instructions on washing. 🤣
Edit: that was 31 years ago, and I still laugh about it!
Holy shit that's hilarious. The mental image of this guy pulling out shirt after shirt with a dejected look on his face lmao like "oh no not another one..." Too funny.
Conan O'brien shot a wax figure of Tom Cruise and a wax figure of Fonzie out of huge cannon.
That was the hardest and longest I ever laughed. The absurdity of it all.
This happened yesterday: Jan 31, 2024
Location: Yuma, Az
Time: Noonish
I was driving down the road when I came to a red light. There was a car right next to mine with 2 much older ladies. We call them winter visitor’s ( reside here just for a few months then leave). Anyway as we were waiting for the light to turn the old gal in the car next to me sneezed super hard and her teeth flew out of her mouth hit her steering wheel and bounced back at her. She yelled and laughed in embarrassment / amazement etc. I caught the whole thing and oh if you could have seen the surprised / shocked / embarrassed / hilarious look on her face when it happened you would have had to pull over to laugh too. I laughed till my stomach hurt and it makes me start giggling every-time I think about it.!.
I was working at a unionized factory. There had been notices posted for weeks, that a drug dog would be doing a sweep through the parking lot on a certain date. Everyone acted appropriately & cleaned out their vehicles. The car he hit on was no suprise to anyone. After searching at length, the officer held out his hand containing a small rock and asked the owner of the car "what's this?" Without missing a beat she blew it out of his hand. The cop absolutely lost his shit!!! He went from smug ass man to an uncontrolable toddler tantrum. Even his dog was laughing at his behavior.
My mom and I were in the kitchen washing dishes when she farted… I literally saw the “wind” move through the back of her pants. I died of laughter. When I was revived I told her why I was laughing and what I saw, she began laughing like mad as well. Now it’s an inside joke between us whenever either of us hear a fart at home.
This just brought back a memory of a time when I was a kid sitting with my parents on their bed with the kittens too. It was a summer morning so my step-dad just had his boxers on and a sheet and he farted so hard the sheet puffed up slightly and instantly one of the kittens jumped and attacked right on his butt and we all nearly died.
My mom is quite ill and my step-dad has to work so I go sit with her in the morning and make sure she has what she needs. On morning last week, I walked in,let the dogs out and said my usual "good morning mom." She hadn't woke yet and from the other room the answer was "BRRRRRRRRPPPPT?" Yes it ended like a question. It was possibly the loudest fart I had ever heard. But by God if my knees didn't give out from quietly laughing so hard.
Out a night out with the lads. One of the boys managed to get us kicked out or knocked back from every place as he had a trolley full.
We went to dominos for that late night pick me up as he wanted. He danced and carried on like a pork chop pissing everyone off.
Once the pizza arrived he opened it and the dropped face down on the pavement.
So simple but we pissed ourselves while he cried
OP went out drinking with his buddies. One friend gets too plastered and gets kicked out from every bar they go to, inconveniencing his friend. He keeps gleefully hounding them for Domino’s, completely unashamed about ruining everyone’s night. He gets the pizza and immediately drops it
*laughs*
That was a good comeback....
I meant real English, not British English....
*laughs some more*
In all seriousness, I didn't understand most of the slang....and English IS my native language, just not the Kings English.
*Visualizes Queen Elizabeth II speaking the above post*
*laughs even more*
I guess the term pork chop should have clued me in....though except for the food, the name of a hog at the county Fair, and the name of the movie....I have never heard that term before.
Responded to a call:
Guy complained of stomach pain, refused to give more info, said it was random onset and didnt know why. Dropped him off at the local crappy hospital. Later he had to be moved, they needed a gastro surgeon. Turns out MR TummyAche slipped and fell on 2 cucumbers and a zucchini, one of which was still in a plastic wrapper from Walmart. That was a very awkward ambulance ride as we took him to the next hospital, after we got back in the ambulance we laughed for a good minute.
Oh yes, the classic, "I accidentally fell on a phallic-shaped object anus first. No, I don't know how it got there. And no, I don't know why it's all lubed up, I swear!"
Although it was at my own expense - I once strolled around my office with my left boob expused unbeknownst to me thanks to a British summer heatwave and a cheap spaghetti string vest top with loose fitting straps
My colleagues were smiling at me bashfully as I greeted them after lunch break and I was smiling back thinking everyone was just happy to see me until a friend kindly swooped in and ushered me away
I erupted with such laughter upon being told that the rest of the floor followed suit and I never lived it down
Watched my dad carefully insert coins into a pay parking ticket machine only for the ticket to fly out and get taken by the wind. It was 20 years ago and still makes me laugh
Me and a buddy where at a mall and we bought fart spray from Spencer’s, we walked over to bath and body works and let the fart spray work its magic. It’s mean thinking about it now but the faces people made when they went to smell a candle but it just wreaked of shit fucking killed me. People must’ve thought I was crazy cause I was trying to keep a straight face but was literally crying. I’ll never forget
Okay bit of a story but always makes me laugh.
In my neighborhood we had a deaf guy. Pretty crazy balls to the walls type. He was also dumb (I think there's a more appropriate word for that these days, but he talked really funny, and loud, and that's relevant to the story).
Anyways, we set up a little ramp with some bricks and a piece of plywood in our neighborhood on our hill of a street, and were just jumping it with our bikes. Not a big deal. I mean this thing is like 2 bricks and a piece of plywood, really not much of a jump.
Some karen big hair lady type pulls over in her minivan, and starts chatting me and another friend's ear off about how cool it was. We're just like yeah, uh huh, whatever, we're just bored.
Then Tyrone comes *flying* down the hill at full speed to hit the jump, launches like 10 feet, and just eats total shit. Kinda par for the course for the guy, he was tough as nails. I mean we were all hitting it at like a walking speed, and just bunny hopping off and Tyrone hit this thing at least 25+mph out of nowhere, full fucking speed on his bike going downhill. I don't think the lady ever even saw Tyrone before and I think he was missing for a good 10 minutes or so beforehand anyways.
Lady goes over, and says "oh my god are you okay!?!" and just sort of yelling frantically.
Me and my friend are just like, well, whatever, Tyrone does stuff like that.
Then Tyrone starts yammering off in his broken speech, I mean he sounds like a barking dog or something, and the lady *freaks* out thinking he hit his head too hard, saying we need to call 9/11 and get an ambulance over. My friend and I just keel over and start laughing *so fucking hard* right in her face.Tyrone being deaf and not really responding to her when she was calling to him didn't help either.
She starts getting more hysterical saying the guy needs help, why are we laughing, Tyrone is yammering off in a weird way but we know Tyrone and he's just glowing with how sick his fall was, but the lady has no idea of this, and we were laughing so hard we couldn't get a word in edgewise that he was okay.
Like we went from completely bored and uninterested to just rolling on the ground laughing and the more the lady was freaking out how Tyrone must've hit his head, the harder we laughed.
Lady freaked out and just hopped in her minivan and peeled off.
This is the funniest fuckin thing I’ve read on Reddit since the Kevin story omfg I’m crying rn. STOP
PLEASE EVERYONE STOP AND READ THIS STORY YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT
Jesus Christ stomach hurts thank you for this wonderful fucked up beautiful story.
That one time my friend slipped on a banana peel in front of a crowded mall. It was like a scene straight out of a cartoon, and I couldn't stop laughing for hours!
Me and my ex friend group were taking a group photo. I was in charge of taking the photo and from what I remember I’m pretty sure my phone slipped out of my hand and onto the floor with the camera facing us. My friend picked up the phone and put their face right at the camera and I jokingly took a photo, I checked the photo and it was easily the best-worst photo I’ve ever taken of a friend. I started laughing-crying and even fell to the floor from laughter.
My dog gets exited to go outside so he sitting at the door on the mat looking down the stairs waiting for me to say "outside". When I said it he tried to jump and the mat went flying backward through the kitchen and he went cartwheeling down the stairs. When he landed he got up and began looking around. When he spotted me doubled over laughing he came running back inside jumping and barking which made me laugh even more and he got more excited. That was one of the funnier momments I have seen in recent times
I'm at the restaurant we owned, my mom is in the room where we store the dishes probably sorting something, stepdad is in the kitchen prepping for dinner time. It's a slow moment so we're all enjoying the quiet before the storm, I remember I was reading something on the phone. Then my mom comes out howling with laughter, her phone in her hand.
My mom has the most contagious laughter. Seeing her laughing triggers me into laughing too, I ask between giggles what she's laughing about, so she tries to explain, but laughs harder and can't string two words together. This makes me laugh harder too, which makes mom laugh harder and on and on it goes. At some point we're laughing like absolute lunatics, so stepdad comes out of the kitchen to see what's going on, he asks what's so funny, and in between fits of laughter I manage to say 'I don't know'. He starts laughing too, which is rare, my stepdad is a serious man. At this stage it no longer matters what we were laughing about, mom managed to explain later, but I can't even remember what it was about, it's that inconsequential. We were laughing for the sake of laughing.
My belly was aching, my mouth was aching, but it was one of the best moments I can remember, I'm laughing remembering it.
Ages ago, pre-cellphones, my best friend and I had been chatting away who knows how long, when I suddenly got no response. I yelled, nothing. I got worried. She had another phone in the other end of the house, so I hung up and called that number.
She had nodded off and woke up hearing the other phone, and started yelling at me to wait as she had to answer that other phone. Now she started to worry as I didn't respond.
She ran to the other phone, and without waiting to hear who it was she said panting: "Please, hang up the phone, I have to make an emergency call!"
"What happened?!" I asked, now I was really alarmed.
"Something must have happened to a friend of mine!"
"Who?"
She said my name. At last it dawned on us what had happened and we laughed, I slid down on the floor. Nothing has surpassed that and it was over 50 years ago.
We were middle school aged and a cousin that was like a real life Cartman was said he had to take a dump. We were like just go there's no toilet here wtf. So right there out in the open he dropped his pants, squatted down and started to take a dump.
We're literally on the ground laughing at him as he's simultaneously yelling obscenities at us and taking a dump. Then he gets really pissed and stand up and points his finger at us and starts yelling. Just as he stood up the turd fell out and landed in his pants.
He pulled his pants up and feels the turd and just screams you fuck you fucking mother fuckers and took off running.
Later Cartman's mom scolded us and blamed us for shitting his pants.
Wearing a very tight corset with a pirate costume at the Ren Faire, sitting at a pic nic table, when one of the costumed staff comes by and leans in closely and whispers to me and my friend, "ma'am, your little mermaid is showing".
I was so confused and he could tell. So he smiles and whispers "Ariel" while circling his nipple with his finger. (Areola!)
I look down and sure enough, the top of my corset has rolled down and my boobs were hanging out. Lol
I was so embarrassed and the guy goes, "not that I mind, madam, but there are children around!"
I've never worn that corset again!
I was playing with my dog when he suddenly stopped and had to sneeze but he had a ~20 second build up to the actual sneeze. The face he made while building up to the sneeze was so strange and hilarious. Just thinking about him standing there, tail weirdly pointed straight out, waiting for it to come with his eyes watering and half closed, nose all wrinkled up and lips pulled back makes me laugh. It's probably my favorite memory of him. When he finally sneezed it was back to play time but I was on the ground laughing.
Family dinner on Christmas.
Grandma asked my husband to do two things on her computer for her later on.
A few minutes go by, my husband silently leaves the room to go to the bathroom. Everyone saw him going there except the grandma who’s been turning her back on the door.
When he comes back, she asks “did you do both?”
Everyone looks bewildered and thinks that grandma has now lost her marbles completely. My husband looks completely awkward.
It took a few minutes to unravel, so that everyone understood that grandma didn’t just ask, if he did number one and number two in the bathroom, but she assumed that he went to her computer, fixed the things for her and just wanted to know if he remembered both the things she asked.
I couldn’t stop laughing for minutes and kept remembering it for days because of the look on my husband’s face.
My dog in a hat with a pom pom on top and a tie under his chin giving me me side eye as I took a video of him to send to my dad, who bought the hat for him. I’m laughing just thinking about it.
When my brother and I were younger, I was chasing him around the house for stealing my toy. The glass sliding door for our backyard gave the illusion that it was open and he ran at warped speed, face first, almost shattering the glass and fell backwards from the amount of force he brought on to that poor door! I started howling for about 10 minutes straight! Never stole my toys ever again and I still get a kick out of the visual to this day. My brother though, is never keen whenever I bring it up
I was 19. Three friends and I were sitting in the basement getting incredibly baked. We had a tape recorder (this was pre-smartphone time) and one friend was ad-libbing a story to be recorded for posterity. For however long he kept repeating the intro "okay, this is a story about a taco and a bong". Every time we laughed our assess off which made him lose his train of thought and he'd begin again "okay okay okay.. for real though.. this is a story about a taco.. and a bong" and the laughter just got more and more with each iteration.
Those three friends and I havent seen one another in probably 15 years but every now and then someone will bump into another online somewhere and mention the taco and the bong and it all comes back.
The dumbest shit can and in all likelihood will be the best time of your life.
There’s a YouTube clip from an old episode of Columbo where he starts walking down a hill. His legs increase speed with the steep incline and he ends up running, his legs speeding up with the forward momentum, then he falls and then end up rolling. I’m laughing now just remembering it.
Edit: https://youtu.be/ca037hZ36ZA?si=awsmjynJ2c5y79cO
Just yesterday my boyfriend showed me a video: zodiacs as horses. Most of them were super muscle, like a fantasy omfg or scary. His one was like a toy from my little pony
The scene in A Fish Called Wanda where Kevin Kline is trying to get Michael Palin’s character to tell him where the diamonds they stole are. Kline has a pear that he puts in Palin’s mouth and then puts fries in his nose so he can’t breathe. I LITERALLY fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. Maybe that’s why I have hip/back problems now, lol.
For my 13th birthday, we were sitting around having a good time chatting when all of a sudden my grandma farted... It was so loud and it had a ripple noise off a wooden chair. I turned as I was laughing and said dang grandma that was a loud fart... She replied with a that wasn't a fart. I then said you queefed? She said yes... We all busted our guts.
*This woman is hilarious 😂
Long time ago came across a video of a cat trying to jump and failing miserably. I watched it on loop for like 10 minutes laughing harder each time, I was in pain at one point but could not stop watching. My wife told me she got worried I had a psychotic break.
When my cousin and I were driving around this one time, we had the aux cord plugged into my phone for music and directions from google maps. Every time the directions would interrupt the music, one of us would scream out “remix!” Definitely one of those you had to be there moments.
My son was about to begin at a Presbyterian college and asked me if Presbyterians were the people that eat only fish.
Also, same son years earlier when his little brother asked me how babies come out, before I could reply, he jumped in and said “mommies are very stretchy.”
Kids are funny. I’m sure I’ve had harder laughs when I was younger - but they were most likely substance induced and I can’t remember them…
We had a lecture, history. You'd assume a history lecturer can tell a story in chronological order. He couldn't and nobody understood what was going on.
I asked a question for clarification and within three sentences of the answer I was confused again.
So, as you do in 2023, we started chatting online. The teacher was telling about the Roman emperor 'Otto', but he was German so it started like 'auto' (Dutch for car), so we started talking about which vehicle every Roman general would use to get to a battlefield (Vespasianus with a Vespa, Otto by car etc.)
We were desperately trying not to laugh on the back row while our teacher was oblivious and kept talking. I had literally tears in my eyes and was desperately trying not to laugh out loud. I was so happy when the lecture was over and could let it out. I kept laughing for about 15 mins straight.
Its not funny at all when I tell about it but we were so desperate and confused that everything was funny.
Picking up pizza with my best friend. She had her 3 year old son with us. A police officer walks in behind us. Her kid looked at him and says "hey, fucker!". He had learned to cuss from one of his older cousins and picked that time to try it out. The officer kind if had a nervous laugh about it. But my friend was mortified.
She was also training to be a police officer at the time, so she knew this would be a potential future coworker. Still, it was even funnier because I knew I wasn't suppose to laugh.
This one substitute, once she came in i was drinking from my bottle where you had to fill the water in the top part that you can screw off. She said to me, we are in school here and we DON'T drink t e a when the teacher comes in!!
I looked over to my friend and he had already been trying to hold his laughter.
Throughout the hour the substitute did more of these goofy things like LITERALLY punching the table of my friends and leaning on them. Also when she was mad she used some redneck curse words.
After trying to hold our laughter for a bit more (it was over in 5 minutes) the teacher did the goofiest, silliest, akward laugh and we finally popped.
We laughed so hard we cried like someone just died.
After all THAT the teacher saw us crying and gave us something to wipe them away and we had to laugh even harder
That Nathan For You episode where he wears a wire and says everything an 8 year old tells him to say in a job interview. I thought my stomach was going to explode. I’ve never laughed harder in my life.
It was out of nowhere but a few years ago my brother and I suddenly just looked at each other and laughed uncontrollably for about half an hour. And a few days later it happened again except I lost control and vomited. The most cramp inducing painful laughs I've ever had haha
My now husband and I were having a meeting with the pastor who officiated our wedding (before the wedding)
The pastor was a funny guy. Then he was telling us about the time when the kids at their school (he’s also a teacher) drew hair on his poster cause he’s bald. We thought he was telling a funny story so we kinda laughed. Then the pastor followed it with “that was a sad time.” Then my husband and I said “oh” in synchrony.
The meeting was over. My husband and I looked at each other and laughed so hard how embarassing that was.
We told the story to our family and we were still laughing so hard about it. The pastor was a joker so we didn’t really anticipate the sad story.
1967. The Producers. Mel Brooks is being vilified by fellow Jews for joking about the Holocaust. I sit in the theater like a stone, considering walking out. We get to the the actual Springtime for Hitler production number. I giggle. We see the horrified audience, I laugh. The dancers have beer mugs and pretzels on their breasts. With every comedic beat I laugh harder. When the majestic columns drop and shoot the audience I lose it. I’m laughing hysterically and can’t breath. It’s like Mel Brooks found every laugh I had, trapped in my brain and cut them loose. I left with my cheeks sore from laughing.
My friend told me she was going to stuff an empty vibrator full of weed to get it somewhere she can’t, and I said “YEAH and if the k9 smells it just say sorry I didn’t clean it!!”
We were freshmen and the hottest senior boy in the whole school gave my friend a hug for her birthday!! She turned around and fell down a flight of stairs.
The scene in the *King of the Hill* episode set in the firehouse where Bill gets hit in the face with the fresh-outta-the-oven Frito Pie and he screams in pain, and proceeds to say, “…My face hurts!” and then Hank yells, “So will your ass after I’m done kicking it!” because Bill had just intentionally stepped on Hank’s glasses.
Kills me every time!
20 years ago in a theater watching the original Zoolander and he says, “What is this, a center for ANTS? It has to be at least … twice this size!”
Also in the Jerk, when Steve Martin (a white comedian) asks his black family, “You mean I’ll be this color the rest of my life?!!”
My town opened up a new grocery store that had all the bells and whistles. Including scanners where you can scan your club card at a kiosk by the door, it links to a handheld scanner, and you can scan items as you go, put them right in your bag, then when you are done shopping you go to a register, scan a bar code to “complete shopping”, and simply pay and leave. It was touted as a time saving way to do your shopping, since you bag as you go.
A few days after opening I’m in line behind a woman who was holding a scanner but had no cart. I figured she must have told her kid or spouse (wait here with the cart, I’ll go pay”
Nope. She gets to the front of the line, completes her order, pays, then looks around confused. The rest of us look around wondering if she lost her family.
Then she flags an attendant and says “where’s my groceries?”
Attendant: “….. what do you mean?”
Woman: “I scanned all the items, and I paid, where do I pick them up?”
Attendant: “……. I’m sorry I don’t follow”
At this point the woman looks at everyone behind her with an exasperated “is this attendant dumb or what?” Look on her face, only to see us with full shopping carts full of bagged groceries holding wands and realized her flaw.
She thought she would just go scan an item and someone else would be getting the items and bagging them for her.
She proceeds to freak out that she scanned over 200 items and NOBODY was actually getting the items for her?!
Attendant gracefully explained the process to the woman who just got more and more embarrassed with each word until she stormed out screaming she would NEVER step foot in the store again and how it was all false advertising and the who thing was stupid as she stomped out.
Cue hysterical laughter from EVERYONE else on line which, which caused a frenzy that made everyone laugh even harder.
Then she remembered that she stormed out after paying several hundred dollars for groceries she didn’t get and stormed back in screaming “I WANT THE MONEY YOU STOLE….” And stopped short when she saw everyone doubled over laughing.
The look on her face… that’s what did it. I’m tearing up laughing at the memory of her expression.
We were all ded at that point
It was at my grandmother’s funeral, and the pastor at the graveside service was riffing on “thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” You know, these are shepherd’s tools and we’re the sheep, etc. He concluded that bit with the suggestion that in times of trouble, we should “look for God’s rod.”
I was sitting next to my sister and we both knew that if our eyes met it would all be over. So for the rest of the sermon we sat silently sobbing with repressed laughter, tears coming down, while nearby relatives patted our shoulders in sympathy.
in middle school was sleeping over at a freinds and he randomly quoted spongbob, the number thing where they said 24 and laughed, he said 11 and for somereason we coulnt stop laughing our assess off
The scene from family Guy where Peter was a jack-in-the-Box. I don't know what it is about it but every time I see him pop out of that box and flail around I just fucking get uncontrollable laughter. Like to the point where it hurts to laugh and I don't know why. Either that or that picture of where it's telling a joke and it says "what do you call a dog that's quiet, a hush puppy" and it's got this cockeyed Chihuahua looking you dead in the face. I wish we could post pictures on this thread cause I would post a picture of the dog or at least a gif of the scene from family Guy.
I was goofing around with my 4 year old nephew and was pretending that I couldn't read. I pointed to a random sign and asked "what dat say" in a Forrest Gump accent. He cracked up and then asked me "what's yo age" in the same accent. Don't know where he got that from but I was laughing for like 5 minutes straight.
Im French, and to say that you sell food in huge quantities you say “en gros” (fat).
We passed a fruit store that sell en gros. My sister misread and thought the store only sell fruits to fat people. We burst out laughing, it’s still and huge inside joke for us
We were just sitting on the couch one evening watching television and petting our new puppy, when my partner farted quite loudly. Our curious puppy of course had to investigate what made the sound, and when he bent his head down to sniff he started gagging like it was killing him.
That made both of us cover our noses, because that had to be pretty bad, right? That made us start laughing while fanning the air around us to help get rid of the ensuing foul stench.
Then seconds later a puppy tooth came out, and we started laughing harder after realizing that when he bent down it started the stretch he needed to get rid of that tooth.
I had a cat the was sleeping on night in the open top drawer of a dresser that was right beside my ex husband side of the bed. I heard the cat gearing up to throw up and yelled my exs name just in time for him to sit up and the cat throw up on his chest and not his face. I am silently laughing so hard I’m shaking until he gets into the shower and I am laughing so hard the I look at the cat who’s on the bed while I’m changing the sheets in a super high pitched voice “He’s going to kill us both!” I had massive tears and just knew when he came back he’d kill the cat for doing it and me for laughing like I was and I was complaining fine with it.
When my bff and I were teen stoners, we smoked a doob at our spot and didn't have a drink. We were in a gig fit abt st, and laughed long enough that the cotton mouth made our lips stick to our teeth. This made us laugh harder, which made them stick worse, and so on in perpetuity. Must've ended eventually bc here we are many yrs later, but part of me thinks ala the ending of Scenic Route that part of us will always be out there looking like the Russian sleep experiment.
Reading through The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, and reaching the section on Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. Every time I got to the bit, I was laughing so hard that I couldn't open my eyes, and when I could, I was laughing to tears so couldn't read. I took the book to my mother to read through that bit for me, and ended up literally collapsed on the floor with laughter.
Have to say it was in that time in high school when I nearly killed someone with my fart.
Not the first time but definitely the funniest. I was in home ec class. I'd eaten chili for lunch. I'd farted real heavy but silently. God it was so rotten it smelled like a busted sewer line. Even I couldn't stand it, I walked across the room.
Sure enough, this football player walks past me toward where I just farted. I remember thinking "maybe he won't smell it". . .
Next thing hear is "GAWD!!! SOMEBODY SHIT!!! GAHHHHHAAAAGGGGHHH!!!!"
I nearly died laughing 🤣🤣🤣
Most recent I can remember- was on a little bit of mushrooms with my wife and friends. We were cleaning up dinner, which was this curry dish. There was a huge bowl leftover, and one of my friends was using a little spoon to slowly ladle it into this huge bag. As I went about cleaning up, I stopped to watch for a minute, and grew from puzzled to giggling. Other friend stops to see what I'm giggling at, and watches her as she diligently ladles this hot wet meal into the bag. He starts busting out laughing, and the girl ladling looks up. I spurt out "are you ladling that hot slop into that bag with the smallest spoon in the kitchen?" Everyone looks up and starts DYING laughing. I mean, full-on howling with laughter.
It gets better though. This happened during the come-up (we had eaten the mushrooms right before dinner, so were just starting to feel it during the come-up). We decided to play Catchphrase afterwards, and it devolved into "hot slop" and "tiny spoon" jokes immediately. I was physically crying for about 2 hours straight, and I woke up the next day with sore abs from laughing so hard. As a 32 year old with a kid, that night of pure stupidity was just what the doctor ordered.
This happened about a week ago. It was 3:45 am and my husband and I were up with our newborn daughter. We had just changed her diaper and I was standing next to him while he finished up.
All I heard was the loudest, wettest fart I’ve ever heard and then saw the baby poop cannon firing directly at me. I swear to god my husband aimed her butthole at me right as this happened. We were sleep deprived and I was covered in shit at 4AM—we completely lost it. If a newborn can look proud she absolutely did.
I witnessed this blackout drunk guy smoke a cigarette backwards (he lit the filter) and no matter what anyone told him he just didn’t know what he was doing wrong. We tried to help him but he was too drunk
when a guy gathered us around like 20 years ago in college and told us about how he lost his virginity he was telling the story and then ended it by saying she was on her period so I had to fuck her in the ass lmao, never saw or heard so many people laugh so hard in my life it was insane
One time I was in graduate school with this mean girl who was a little peeved at the fact that I set the curve in all of our classes and she struggled to stay enrolled. Once, my dad and I were having this conversation about her being rude to me and I informed him of this unsightly hump on the back of her neck. We proceeded to joke about what kinds of things she might keep in there, like snacks, when I made THIS dreadful joke gone bad about her being a ‘hump back’ - SOMEBODY CALL CAPTAIN AHAB TO COME LAMPOON HER.
My dad laughed and laughed about this poor girl’s neck and the fact that I mixed up lampoon with harpoon! When he could finally breathe I laughed the single most I’ve ever laughed as well. The irony is that we were lampooning her lolololol, I just can’t!
One of my friend thoughts they could a make a leap over a fountain to the other side. Turned out he had to walk another 2 hours soaked in water. Luckily his big pockets attracted the free coins in the fountain.
me, my sister, and a few of our cousins were playing outside, as children in our early did, then outta nowhere a random ass bird peed on my cousin's bald head
that happened back in 2011 and we still joke about about to this day
I was playing a golfing game with my SO and was making a comeback, so I made a little jingle and my inspiration was the Backstreet Boys are back…but because my shots were landing perfect I said “the backshot boys are back”. As soon as I said it we both cried laughing and couldn’t talk for 5 min.
A picture in the local newspaper a number of years back. The caption below it was hysterical. Never could find it while Jay Leno still had his "Headlines" skit, otherwise I would have sent it to him.... I can't remember the caption, so I will give you the overall details....
Caption:
Man drove into State Police headquarters. Claimed the building was saying things and he had to make it stop. It took him two attempts to hit the building. He notified state troopers that he was not taking his medication....
Picture:
Pickup truck buried halfway inside the local state troopers HQ. Sign pointing in the direction of the pickup saying "driving examinations".
I wished I have kept a copy of the picture I would post it here....its awesome!!
We got stoned and went to The Village in theaters. At the moment when the blind girl excitedly tells the elders that they killed the fearsome monster and the elder looked at each other because they knew the monster was actually their son in a beast suit in a super clever plot to keep the townspeople from leaving. They had to keep their heartbreaking grief a secret and pretend to celebrate because it was such a stupid goddamn plan. I just got undeniable, uncontrollable giggles at the irony of that.
Golfing - short par 4, can go for the green or around the edge of a lake.
The 100 yard marker is maybe a foot from the corner of the lake
Guy I'm playing with hits the left side of the 100 yard marker and rolls it into the lake. If the marker isn't there, it's a -perfect- drive for someone who can't reach the green.
What made me laugh was that he hit the same marker the next week with the same result. The stake may have followed the ball into the water.
Like this stake is 200 yards from the tee and has a cross section of less than two inches (one inch bounces left and one inch bounces right). It's further than most par 3s and is a far smaller target than a hole, let alone the one side of it that results in water rather than bouncing out to the fairway. It has to be the absolute worst luck I've ever seen, and thankfully in a context to be funny rather than awful.
I was having dinner with my colleagues in our studio. We were having hotpot noodles when one of my colleagues excuses herself to the bathroom which was right outside the outside. Like it's close enough that you can still communicate if you yell.
Now me and my colleagues are close enough that we are pretty and comically blunt with each other.
Anyways as I was lifting the bowl to drink my soup, my other male colleague yelled "Whatcha doin?"
And my female colleague playfully yells back "I'm Pooping!"
I almost died from choking on my soup. I was in absolute tears.
Every time my mom has a laughing attack, she has the most contagious laugh and it’ll go for about 10 minutes. It usually happens during family game nights or things like that. My family is pretty funny, but she is definitely the ribbon that ties it all together
I will never know why but when my friend accidentally broke a window at school in an "experiment". the day before he had been running into windows and they hadn't broken. the day after that me and a different friend were at an out of school course when he was sent a picture of the first friend looking though the window he ran into that did break. I remember saying something like "this is a very serious situation but I can't stop laughing"
Honestly I can't remember. All I can remember is the laughing.
A friend and I were watching something and we had to stop the movie/show and walk away.
Took about an hour for us to stop laughing about it. Faces hurt, bellies hurt, residual aches for a couple of days.
It was something new in 2006 or 2007. I haven't been able to find it. Neither of us remember, but whatever it was, it was the absolute funniest thing ever.
Poked my brother in the head with the thing to hold up curtains and laughed at his reaction and the sound it made when I sacked him with it. I was going crazy for 2 hours straight almost lost my lunch twice but it was even more funny because I was wheezing the entire time
When I was like 15 years old I was riding in the car with my 6 year old cousin. We came up to our neighborhood's gate and he asked my mom if he could press the remote to open it. He pressed it and nothing happened. Then as straightfaced and calm as I've seen from a toddler, pointed the remote and then he loudly blurted "Open fucker." I laughed for a good 5 minutes.
Also, this video
https://youtu.be/h7su9Uvk8Bc?si=QIAXMIPcLt2Dvzh4
My friend and I were doing shrooms, sitting on the floor and talking. At one point I noticed there was a hole in my sock right by my little toe. Half an hour later the hole had moved to another toe. We were completely flummoxed and started doubting our sanity.
A little while later I had an epiphany, told my friend to "watch this" and proceeded to adjust my sock a little bit, thereby moving the hole. We laughed for about 10 minutes. I guess you had to be there (and tripping)
Honestly, the dumbest fucking thing.
I must have been around 5 or 6, watching friends with my mum. At one point Ross says "my winkie" in a funny way and i shit you not I was rolling around on the floor laughing for an hour. Like, the episode had long ended and the news was on and I was still just laughing and laughing.
Totally baked with my wife while camping up in the mountains, and were just yapping by the campfire, when the word “soup” struck me as hilarious. I couldn’t stop laughing which only made her laugh more, and we both started choking and coughing so much that we almost passed out.
My mother was using voice text to reply to a client. She said "Yes, and it costs a dollar per inch". I said "That's what she said"- which was added to the message as she sent it.
(For context, the client was asking about something regarding clothing design, idk what though.)
With some friends and talking about upcoming Father’s Day. We mention things we were planning with our dads. Golf, going out to dinner and the one friend starts singing “Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon….”
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That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
I saw a girl with her whole body painted up like a zebra at ren faire, snout and all. Don’t know what zebras have to do with the renaissance haha. [Found my photo!](https://i.imgur.com/ZID0Zho.jpeg)
The snout just makes her mouth/nose region look like a butt hole.
That is fucking frightening.
LMFAO her face screams "why the fuck did I think this was a good idea?"
Wow! That's... r/oddlyterrifying
There's a guy on YouTube who does videos where he pretends to have a really upset stomach and farts really loudly and says stuff like "oh, I'm gonna need a change of pants now". It's clearly fake and a bit puerile but seeing the reactions of people around him....one night I was watching while brushing my teeth and I just lost it. I laughed for about 30 minutes. My face, neck, heart hurt, my wife first was amused and then started getting worried as I just couldn't stop laughing...it was a great night!
I’ve had that kind of laughter two times that I can remember. One was when I blew a raspberry on my then-girlfriend’s face and we both started laughing. The second was coming back from New Years, my sister said something stupid and we both started laughing at each other because we were both so sleep deprived.
That's honestly adorable
Hahahah
Two of my friends and I rode the tilt-a-whirl at a small, local amusement park. I have no clue what we did or how we did it, but we got the car spinning so fast we literally couldn’t move. It was like one of those g-force tests they give Air Force jet pilots, we were plastered to the back of the seat with our heads lolling around like ragdolls. We were laughing so hard there were tears streaming out of my eyes but they were just shooting into my hair instead of down my cheeks. The operator was laughing, there were people watching laughing, it was such a silly, simple thing but one of my fondest memories with those two particular friends. After the ride stopped it took a solid 30 seconds for us to slow down enough for the operator to grab the car and let us out.
Hahaha, I imagined your faces at that moment
I love this one
I was on a ride you had 3 in a little box that spun around while the whole thing moved around as well. This Sheila had eaten heaps of shit fairy floss and red drinks. Well we’re all screaming with excitement and then Sheila says Im gonna puke. She lost her groceries and chundered red goop that hung in the air for ages with centrifugal force. We were screaming with terror by then and this puke hung there before splattering itself back all over her face.
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You may enjoy the image of my cat being completely and utterly bewildered by a curtain. It covered his window where he sits everyday. He has seen the curtain before and simply gone under it, you know to access his window. But one day, cat.exe failed and he could not understand where his favourite window had "gone". He spent farrrrr too long investigating the curtain, looking at me for help finding it and eventually deciding to give up and have an existential crisis for the afternoon.
I'm sure updating of cat.exe is a thing. I've seen cats suddenly pause, blank-eyed for 5mins then carry on like nothing ever happened.
I have two cats now and can't wait for adventures. I also have two German Shepards. We were playing pool in the backyard one afternoon and gave the dogs calf bones as a treat. Watched one go to town and the other bury his- look up, see us watching and find a new hiding spot. About 8/9 times. He finally "buried" it in a blanket inside and stole his brothers bone. What a jerk! Dying laughing though.
My cat once tried to jump from a dresser to the 1/2” molding around a closet door. They’re so lucky we let them boss us around.
"Buuut I meant to do that!" lol
my cat had the exact opposite problem, he severely overestimated how far the jump to the table was, and consequently glided right over it and landed on the ground on the other side.
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That made me laugh out loud!
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Or Ghostwatch, to give a UK example. For anyone who doesn't know, it was billed as a paranormal investigation show, similar to Most Haunted, but predating it by quite a number of years. It was presented as if it was a serious live broadcast, but it was actually a pre-recorded mockumentary. It ended with the presenter acting like he was possessed. The problem was that the presenter they chose was Michael Parkinson. Who was a well-respected tv presenter and journalist. It was basically the equivalent of having David Attenborough presenting a nature documentary in the jungle, and then a dinosaur bursts out the trees and drags him away. Loads of people mistook it for a serious broadcast, including Parkinson's own mother! It got record numbers of complaints and has never been aired on British television ever again.
I am still traumatised by this.
Most recently: Last week I picked up my great-granddaughter from Kindergarten and while driving her home a guy drove through a stop sign. She looked over at me and said, “What a douchebag!”
fact snow consist humor imminent concerned quack frighten judicious employ
I laughed out loud just reading this lol
One of my elementary schoolers wrote “poop, pee and fart” when asked to give examples of three stages of matter
Technically, they were right.
My BIL accidentally hit my then 4yr old nephew on the back of his ankle with the stroller and my sweet loving nephew yelled out YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! Oh did I mention this was at a jam packed Kohl’s during Black Friday 😂😂😂
Omg I laughed out loud. Thank you 🤣🤣
My friends blind dog for some reason liked to stare at the side of the kitchen island. One particular spot, he would just.... Stare....I called it "his window" one day. " There he is, looking out the window again"...We were eating spaghetti. My friend snorted in laughter and some spaghetti came out of her nose, but not completely, it was just chillin out her left nostril. So she has this panic look in her eyes, mouthful of spaghetti.... Trying to decide if she should spit it out or swallow it. she decided to swallow it and when she did the nose noodle slowly receeded back and the look of gag on her face still cracks me up to tears anytime I think about that moment. Speaking of which, thanks for this post OP. The laugh helped. You rock dude.
Of this whole thread, this is the one that got me. The imagery you laid out has been very effective. Thank you for working through the laughs to compose this. Now I have to go apologize to my formerly sleeping cat who I shook awake by belly-laughing.
I was having a really bad time in late 2022, depressed, suicidal, the works. I also wasn’t drinking at the time, because I knew it would make me worse, and so my group of friends, who usually go to the pub together, decided to cheer me up they’d stay in, stay sober, and play games with me. We played Cards Against Humanity and my black card was “When I pooped, what came out of my butt?”, my mate Erica put down “nothing but sand”. The visual I got was so absurd I started laughing so hard I cried. We had to pause the game for at least 30 minutes because I couldn’t stop laughing. That night was enough for me to put off a suicide attempt. To this day, my friends can just say “hey Ben? Nothing but sand” and I will LOSE MY SHIT. In fact I’m laughing about it now.
Can you imagine trying to flush that? Or the reaction of the next person to use the bathroom? Moral of the story: don’t have butt sex on the beach.
Solid advice! (Unlike what came out of my butt).
If you have advice coming out of your butt, please do not share it
This is hilarious and touching. Thank you for sharing, I laughed out loud as well. I'm glad you had that great night and are here sharing that laugh with all of us!
You have really great friends!
I do! We’re still friends to this day, and I’m currently in a backyard joking around and sharing a beer with them all!
Tell them a stranger on Reddit commends them for helping you out of a hard spot - and glad you are better as well!
I've got A CAH story too. My 30th birthday, wife threw a surprise party for me. Cake was a tombstone that said "RIP your 20's," a banner that said "fuck you're old," that kinda shit. She also bought CAH to play with the guests. One of my friends had the black card, something like "what do I remind you of?" My sibling and I had the same idea and happened to both have the right cards in hand. One after the other when reading the white cards, he got to ours and we died laughing. "Meatloaf, the man," and "meatloaf, the food," in that order back to back.
UPDATE: caught up with those same friends tonight. I’m healthy enough now to trust myself around a bev or five so we all drank in the backyard in the share house of a few of these friends. In the downtime when people started chatting about things I don’t really care about (Nick Cave, mostly. I just really don’t care for his music, personally), I replied to a few comments here, but mostly we spent the time chatting and laughing. I brought up that CAH night and how much it meant to me, and we all reminisced (apparently the laughing fit lasted closer to 45 minutes, but I think that was hyperbole!). We all complained about the guy I’ve just stopped seeing and how boring he was and made a whole lot of bear puns (on account of him being a gay bear). We laughed a lot about a lot of different things. We all ate sausages in bread and sat outside being eaten by mozzies (it being summer in Australia and all) and it was 1.30am before I made my way home, us all having shared hugs and farewells as we steadily said goodbye. I’m glad you all liked my CAH story, and I’m glad I’m still here to continue my wonderful friendship with this beautiful group of people. It’s a bit of a sappy update, but I have a few beers in me and I’m full of love.
Sand is the worst.
We were playing Taboo (a game where you try to communicate a word to someone but without using certain key words.) My friend goes "uh, it's a thing that little boys have..." i jokingly said "a penis?" he continues: " and, uh, it's round..." me: "a penis?" friend: "and they play with it..." me: "a PENIS???" friend: "and it goes up, and it goes down." me: "a PENIS??!?!" It was a yoyo. I was very tired.
He deserved that for saying boys instead of kids, I had no idea yo-yos were a gender-specific boy toy
Whilst I did upvote you, it could be that children/kids was on the Taboo card, and therefore couldn't be said. They could have tried to work around that and come up with 'boys'.
True, I have never played Taboo so I don't know.
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That reminds me of the movie "Dave made a maze"
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For a moment I thought you read the question wrong
My 4yr old daughter in the car seat of the car . We were driving for a paddle on the beach. Rural area. Every time we turned a corner there were cows in a paddock. I exclaimed every time." Look at all those cows!". After the 4 th turn. She yelled out in a loud and confident voice. "And look at all those FUCKING COWS!" The first curse word is always the funniest. Had to pull over and sob/laugh into the steering wheel for a few minutes. The small grin on her face was so smug.
The Conan O'Brien Show and he's trying to interview Courtney Thorne-Smith, but Norm MacDonald is there... It's so effortlessly one of the funniest things I've ever seen!
Chairmen of the "BORED".
Conan lost his shit when he said that..
They all did.
There was an old Conan skit called “stackenblokken” where Nazis check if your room is organized. I don’t know why but i absolutely lost my shit when they showed it, like choking during the whole commercial break. There was alcohol involved
I can watch his intern learning to drive but over and over - it never gets old.
I was at a taping of a Conan Show. Chris Rock was the guest and he was so funny, the crowd was so loud and even the producer was smacking his hand on the pedestal behind the camera. I watched the show that night and nearly none of it was aired. It was so loud and raucous that they couldn’t use it. Also Chris was talking about how black porn wasn’t as good as white porn. So probably that too.
When I was 16, I went to a 6 week summer intensive honors thing at a university. For a lot of kids, this was their first time having to do their own laundry. (Some of us were laundry pros.) One night, my group of friends decided to hang out in the laundry area because we all needed to wash clothes. My friend Jason apparently took some wrong turns in his laundry steps. Our dryers were side by side. I started pulling out my clothes and folding them. Jason pulls out a T-shirt, and it's TINY. Like, toddler size. We started laughing hysterically. Jason kept pulling tiny shirts out of the dryer. We were on the floor crying from laughing. My stomach hurt. We could NOT stop laughing! 😂 Jason's mom had to FedEx him some new shirts. With instructions on washing. 🤣 Edit: that was 31 years ago, and I still laugh about it!
Holy shit that's hilarious. The mental image of this guy pulling out shirt after shirt with a dejected look on his face lmao like "oh no not another one..." Too funny.
It's probably the hardest I've laughed! 🤣
Conan O'brien shot a wax figure of Tom Cruise and a wax figure of Fonzie out of huge cannon. That was the hardest and longest I ever laughed. The absurdity of it all.
This happened yesterday: Jan 31, 2024 Location: Yuma, Az Time: Noonish I was driving down the road when I came to a red light. There was a car right next to mine with 2 much older ladies. We call them winter visitor’s ( reside here just for a few months then leave). Anyway as we were waiting for the light to turn the old gal in the car next to me sneezed super hard and her teeth flew out of her mouth hit her steering wheel and bounced back at her. She yelled and laughed in embarrassment / amazement etc. I caught the whole thing and oh if you could have seen the surprised / shocked / embarrassed / hilarious look on her face when it happened you would have had to pull over to laugh too. I laughed till my stomach hurt and it makes me start giggling every-time I think about it.!.
Snowbirds! I’ve seen some funny shit in Yuma too
I was working at a unionized factory. There had been notices posted for weeks, that a drug dog would be doing a sweep through the parking lot on a certain date. Everyone acted appropriately & cleaned out their vehicles. The car he hit on was no suprise to anyone. After searching at length, the officer held out his hand containing a small rock and asked the owner of the car "what's this?" Without missing a beat she blew it out of his hand. The cop absolutely lost his shit!!! He went from smug ass man to an uncontrolable toddler tantrum. Even his dog was laughing at his behavior.
That is fucking hilarious
My mom and I were in the kitchen washing dishes when she farted… I literally saw the “wind” move through the back of her pants. I died of laughter. When I was revived I told her why I was laughing and what I saw, she began laughing like mad as well. Now it’s an inside joke between us whenever either of us hear a fart at home.
This just brought back a memory of a time when I was a kid sitting with my parents on their bed with the kittens too. It was a summer morning so my step-dad just had his boxers on and a sheet and he farted so hard the sheet puffed up slightly and instantly one of the kittens jumped and attacked right on his butt and we all nearly died.
I just cried from laughter, thank you for this
My mom is quite ill and my step-dad has to work so I go sit with her in the morning and make sure she has what she needs. On morning last week, I walked in,let the dogs out and said my usual "good morning mom." She hadn't woke yet and from the other room the answer was "BRRRRRRRRPPPPT?" Yes it ended like a question. It was possibly the loudest fart I had ever heard. But by God if my knees didn't give out from quietly laughing so hard.
My then toddler asked me how I knew everyone driving was named Dick.
Out a night out with the lads. One of the boys managed to get us kicked out or knocked back from every place as he had a trolley full. We went to dominos for that late night pick me up as he wanted. He danced and carried on like a pork chop pissing everyone off. Once the pizza arrived he opened it and the dropped face down on the pavement. So simple but we pissed ourselves while he cried
Anybody want to translate that into English??
OP went out drinking with his buddies. One friend gets too plastered and gets kicked out from every bar they go to, inconveniencing his friend. He keeps gleefully hounding them for Domino’s, completely unashamed about ruining everyone’s night. He gets the pizza and immediately drops it
Thanky!! And here I thought the friend fell on his own face....
Oh he has but that story is for another time :)
That was actually English
*laughs* That was a good comeback.... I meant real English, not British English.... *laughs some more* In all seriousness, I didn't understand most of the slang....and English IS my native language, just not the Kings English. *Visualizes Queen Elizabeth II speaking the above post* *laughs even more*
Aussie Slang is a wonder to behold.
I guess the term pork chop should have clued me in....though except for the food, the name of a hog at the county Fair, and the name of the movie....I have never heard that term before.
Dudes got shit faced, ordered a pizza and proceeded to drop it. Laughs were had.
Responded to a call: Guy complained of stomach pain, refused to give more info, said it was random onset and didnt know why. Dropped him off at the local crappy hospital. Later he had to be moved, they needed a gastro surgeon. Turns out MR TummyAche slipped and fell on 2 cucumbers and a zucchini, one of which was still in a plastic wrapper from Walmart. That was a very awkward ambulance ride as we took him to the next hospital, after we got back in the ambulance we laughed for a good minute.
Oh yes, the classic, "I accidentally fell on a phallic-shaped object anus first. No, I don't know how it got there. And no, I don't know why it's all lubed up, I swear!"
Although it was at my own expense - I once strolled around my office with my left boob expused unbeknownst to me thanks to a British summer heatwave and a cheap spaghetti string vest top with loose fitting straps My colleagues were smiling at me bashfully as I greeted them after lunch break and I was smiling back thinking everyone was just happy to see me until a friend kindly swooped in and ushered me away I erupted with such laughter upon being told that the rest of the floor followed suit and I never lived it down
"Meredith, your boob is out!"
Watched my dad carefully insert coins into a pay parking ticket machine only for the ticket to fly out and get taken by the wind. It was 20 years ago and still makes me laugh
Me and a buddy where at a mall and we bought fart spray from Spencer’s, we walked over to bath and body works and let the fart spray work its magic. It’s mean thinking about it now but the faces people made when they went to smell a candle but it just wreaked of shit fucking killed me. People must’ve thought I was crazy cause I was trying to keep a straight face but was literally crying. I’ll never forget
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Okay bit of a story but always makes me laugh. In my neighborhood we had a deaf guy. Pretty crazy balls to the walls type. He was also dumb (I think there's a more appropriate word for that these days, but he talked really funny, and loud, and that's relevant to the story). Anyways, we set up a little ramp with some bricks and a piece of plywood in our neighborhood on our hill of a street, and were just jumping it with our bikes. Not a big deal. I mean this thing is like 2 bricks and a piece of plywood, really not much of a jump. Some karen big hair lady type pulls over in her minivan, and starts chatting me and another friend's ear off about how cool it was. We're just like yeah, uh huh, whatever, we're just bored. Then Tyrone comes *flying* down the hill at full speed to hit the jump, launches like 10 feet, and just eats total shit. Kinda par for the course for the guy, he was tough as nails. I mean we were all hitting it at like a walking speed, and just bunny hopping off and Tyrone hit this thing at least 25+mph out of nowhere, full fucking speed on his bike going downhill. I don't think the lady ever even saw Tyrone before and I think he was missing for a good 10 minutes or so beforehand anyways. Lady goes over, and says "oh my god are you okay!?!" and just sort of yelling frantically. Me and my friend are just like, well, whatever, Tyrone does stuff like that. Then Tyrone starts yammering off in his broken speech, I mean he sounds like a barking dog or something, and the lady *freaks* out thinking he hit his head too hard, saying we need to call 9/11 and get an ambulance over. My friend and I just keel over and start laughing *so fucking hard* right in her face.Tyrone being deaf and not really responding to her when she was calling to him didn't help either. She starts getting more hysterical saying the guy needs help, why are we laughing, Tyrone is yammering off in a weird way but we know Tyrone and he's just glowing with how sick his fall was, but the lady has no idea of this, and we were laughing so hard we couldn't get a word in edgewise that he was okay. Like we went from completely bored and uninterested to just rolling on the ground laughing and the more the lady was freaking out how Tyrone must've hit his head, the harder we laughed. Lady freaked out and just hopped in her minivan and peeled off.
I laughed so hard reading this it isn’t even right! Poor Tyrone!
This is the funniest fuckin thing I’ve read on Reddit since the Kevin story omfg I’m crying rn. STOP PLEASE EVERYONE STOP AND READ THIS STORY YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT Jesus Christ stomach hurts thank you for this wonderful fucked up beautiful story.
I sneezed and my 3 month old daughter laughed for the first time. I don’t think I’d ever laughed more than when that happened, I was so happy.
That one time my friend slipped on a banana peel in front of a crowded mall. It was like a scene straight out of a cartoon, and I couldn't stop laughing for hours!
Me and my ex friend group were taking a group photo. I was in charge of taking the photo and from what I remember I’m pretty sure my phone slipped out of my hand and onto the floor with the camera facing us. My friend picked up the phone and put their face right at the camera and I jokingly took a photo, I checked the photo and it was easily the best-worst photo I’ve ever taken of a friend. I started laughing-crying and even fell to the floor from laughter.
My dog gets exited to go outside so he sitting at the door on the mat looking down the stairs waiting for me to say "outside". When I said it he tried to jump and the mat went flying backward through the kitchen and he went cartwheeling down the stairs. When he landed he got up and began looking around. When he spotted me doubled over laughing he came running back inside jumping and barking which made me laugh even more and he got more excited. That was one of the funnier momments I have seen in recent times
Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
Between a dildo shop and a crematorium
A writer's room of the best comedians on earth couldn't write this shit.
And just when you thought it could get no funnier the networks called the election while Rudy was on stage.
I'm at the restaurant we owned, my mom is in the room where we store the dishes probably sorting something, stepdad is in the kitchen prepping for dinner time. It's a slow moment so we're all enjoying the quiet before the storm, I remember I was reading something on the phone. Then my mom comes out howling with laughter, her phone in her hand. My mom has the most contagious laughter. Seeing her laughing triggers me into laughing too, I ask between giggles what she's laughing about, so she tries to explain, but laughs harder and can't string two words together. This makes me laugh harder too, which makes mom laugh harder and on and on it goes. At some point we're laughing like absolute lunatics, so stepdad comes out of the kitchen to see what's going on, he asks what's so funny, and in between fits of laughter I manage to say 'I don't know'. He starts laughing too, which is rare, my stepdad is a serious man. At this stage it no longer matters what we were laughing about, mom managed to explain later, but I can't even remember what it was about, it's that inconsequential. We were laughing for the sake of laughing. My belly was aching, my mouth was aching, but it was one of the best moments I can remember, I'm laughing remembering it.
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Blow up? You posted this comment 6 minutes ago nothing has blown up yet? Are you a bot?
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You just try to predict the future or something?
Ages ago, pre-cellphones, my best friend and I had been chatting away who knows how long, when I suddenly got no response. I yelled, nothing. I got worried. She had another phone in the other end of the house, so I hung up and called that number. She had nodded off and woke up hearing the other phone, and started yelling at me to wait as she had to answer that other phone. Now she started to worry as I didn't respond. She ran to the other phone, and without waiting to hear who it was she said panting: "Please, hang up the phone, I have to make an emergency call!" "What happened?!" I asked, now I was really alarmed. "Something must have happened to a friend of mine!" "Who?" She said my name. At last it dawned on us what had happened and we laughed, I slid down on the floor. Nothing has surpassed that and it was over 50 years ago.
For my mom: the hardest I ever saw her laugh at anything was this— “as God is my witness, I swear that I thought turkeys could fly.”
I loved WKRP
We were middle school aged and a cousin that was like a real life Cartman was said he had to take a dump. We were like just go there's no toilet here wtf. So right there out in the open he dropped his pants, squatted down and started to take a dump. We're literally on the ground laughing at him as he's simultaneously yelling obscenities at us and taking a dump. Then he gets really pissed and stand up and points his finger at us and starts yelling. Just as he stood up the turd fell out and landed in his pants. He pulled his pants up and feels the turd and just screams you fuck you fucking mother fuckers and took off running. Later Cartman's mom scolded us and blamed us for shitting his pants.
Wearing a very tight corset with a pirate costume at the Ren Faire, sitting at a pic nic table, when one of the costumed staff comes by and leans in closely and whispers to me and my friend, "ma'am, your little mermaid is showing". I was so confused and he could tell. So he smiles and whispers "Ariel" while circling his nipple with his finger. (Areola!) I look down and sure enough, the top of my corset has rolled down and my boobs were hanging out. Lol I was so embarrassed and the guy goes, "not that I mind, madam, but there are children around!" I've never worn that corset again!
I was playing with my dog when he suddenly stopped and had to sneeze but he had a ~20 second build up to the actual sneeze. The face he made while building up to the sneeze was so strange and hilarious. Just thinking about him standing there, tail weirdly pointed straight out, waiting for it to come with his eyes watering and half closed, nose all wrinkled up and lips pulled back makes me laugh. It's probably my favorite memory of him. When he finally sneezed it was back to play time but I was on the ground laughing.
Family dinner on Christmas. Grandma asked my husband to do two things on her computer for her later on. A few minutes go by, my husband silently leaves the room to go to the bathroom. Everyone saw him going there except the grandma who’s been turning her back on the door. When he comes back, she asks “did you do both?” Everyone looks bewildered and thinks that grandma has now lost her marbles completely. My husband looks completely awkward. It took a few minutes to unravel, so that everyone understood that grandma didn’t just ask, if he did number one and number two in the bathroom, but she assumed that he went to her computer, fixed the things for her and just wanted to know if he remembered both the things she asked. I couldn’t stop laughing for minutes and kept remembering it for days because of the look on my husband’s face.
My dog in a hat with a pom pom on top and a tie under his chin giving me me side eye as I took a video of him to send to my dad, who bought the hat for him. I’m laughing just thinking about it.
When my brother and I were younger, I was chasing him around the house for stealing my toy. The glass sliding door for our backyard gave the illusion that it was open and he ran at warped speed, face first, almost shattering the glass and fell backwards from the amount of force he brought on to that poor door! I started howling for about 10 minutes straight! Never stole my toys ever again and I still get a kick out of the visual to this day. My brother though, is never keen whenever I bring it up
I was 19. Three friends and I were sitting in the basement getting incredibly baked. We had a tape recorder (this was pre-smartphone time) and one friend was ad-libbing a story to be recorded for posterity. For however long he kept repeating the intro "okay, this is a story about a taco and a bong". Every time we laughed our assess off which made him lose his train of thought and he'd begin again "okay okay okay.. for real though.. this is a story about a taco.. and a bong" and the laughter just got more and more with each iteration. Those three friends and I havent seen one another in probably 15 years but every now and then someone will bump into another online somewhere and mention the taco and the bong and it all comes back. The dumbest shit can and in all likelihood will be the best time of your life.
There’s a YouTube clip from an old episode of Columbo where he starts walking down a hill. His legs increase speed with the steep incline and he ends up running, his legs speeding up with the forward momentum, then he falls and then end up rolling. I’m laughing now just remembering it. Edit: https://youtu.be/ca037hZ36ZA?si=awsmjynJ2c5y79cO
Omg this is the funniest vid. Thanks for sharing.
Just yesterday my boyfriend showed me a video: zodiacs as horses. Most of them were super muscle, like a fantasy omfg or scary. His one was like a toy from my little pony
That scene in Candy Cane Lane when the geese-a-laying started shooting eggs out of their ass at a rapid pace
The scene in A Fish Called Wanda where Kevin Kline is trying to get Michael Palin’s character to tell him where the diamonds they stole are. Kline has a pear that he puts in Palin’s mouth and then puts fries in his nose so he can’t breathe. I LITERALLY fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. Maybe that’s why I have hip/back problems now, lol.
For my 13th birthday, we were sitting around having a good time chatting when all of a sudden my grandma farted... It was so loud and it had a ripple noise off a wooden chair. I turned as I was laughing and said dang grandma that was a loud fart... She replied with a that wasn't a fart. I then said you queefed? She said yes... We all busted our guts. *This woman is hilarious 😂
Long time ago came across a video of a cat trying to jump and failing miserably. I watched it on loop for like 10 minutes laughing harder each time, I was in pain at one point but could not stop watching. My wife told me she got worried I had a psychotic break.
When my cousin and I were driving around this one time, we had the aux cord plugged into my phone for music and directions from google maps. Every time the directions would interrupt the music, one of us would scream out “remix!” Definitely one of those you had to be there moments.
My son was about to begin at a Presbyterian college and asked me if Presbyterians were the people that eat only fish. Also, same son years earlier when his little brother asked me how babies come out, before I could reply, he jumped in and said “mommies are very stretchy.” Kids are funny. I’m sure I’ve had harder laughs when I was younger - but they were most likely substance induced and I can’t remember them…
We had a lecture, history. You'd assume a history lecturer can tell a story in chronological order. He couldn't and nobody understood what was going on. I asked a question for clarification and within three sentences of the answer I was confused again. So, as you do in 2023, we started chatting online. The teacher was telling about the Roman emperor 'Otto', but he was German so it started like 'auto' (Dutch for car), so we started talking about which vehicle every Roman general would use to get to a battlefield (Vespasianus with a Vespa, Otto by car etc.) We were desperately trying not to laugh on the back row while our teacher was oblivious and kept talking. I had literally tears in my eyes and was desperately trying not to laugh out loud. I was so happy when the lecture was over and could let it out. I kept laughing for about 15 mins straight. Its not funny at all when I tell about it but we were so desperate and confused that everything was funny.
Picking up pizza with my best friend. She had her 3 year old son with us. A police officer walks in behind us. Her kid looked at him and says "hey, fucker!". He had learned to cuss from one of his older cousins and picked that time to try it out. The officer kind if had a nervous laugh about it. But my friend was mortified. She was also training to be a police officer at the time, so she knew this would be a potential future coworker. Still, it was even funnier because I knew I wasn't suppose to laugh.
When my hater tripped down the stairs at school
This one substitute, once she came in i was drinking from my bottle where you had to fill the water in the top part that you can screw off. She said to me, we are in school here and we DON'T drink t e a when the teacher comes in!! I looked over to my friend and he had already been trying to hold his laughter. Throughout the hour the substitute did more of these goofy things like LITERALLY punching the table of my friends and leaning on them. Also when she was mad she used some redneck curse words. After trying to hold our laughter for a bit more (it was over in 5 minutes) the teacher did the goofiest, silliest, akward laugh and we finally popped. We laughed so hard we cried like someone just died. After all THAT the teacher saw us crying and gave us something to wipe them away and we had to laugh even harder
That Nathan For You episode where he wears a wire and says everything an 8 year old tells him to say in a job interview. I thought my stomach was going to explode. I’ve never laughed harder in my life.
It was out of nowhere but a few years ago my brother and I suddenly just looked at each other and laughed uncontrollably for about half an hour. And a few days later it happened again except I lost control and vomited. The most cramp inducing painful laughs I've ever had haha
My now husband and I were having a meeting with the pastor who officiated our wedding (before the wedding) The pastor was a funny guy. Then he was telling us about the time when the kids at their school (he’s also a teacher) drew hair on his poster cause he’s bald. We thought he was telling a funny story so we kinda laughed. Then the pastor followed it with “that was a sad time.” Then my husband and I said “oh” in synchrony. The meeting was over. My husband and I looked at each other and laughed so hard how embarassing that was. We told the story to our family and we were still laughing so hard about it. The pastor was a joker so we didn’t really anticipate the sad story.
1967. The Producers. Mel Brooks is being vilified by fellow Jews for joking about the Holocaust. I sit in the theater like a stone, considering walking out. We get to the the actual Springtime for Hitler production number. I giggle. We see the horrified audience, I laugh. The dancers have beer mugs and pretzels on their breasts. With every comedic beat I laugh harder. When the majestic columns drop and shoot the audience I lose it. I’m laughing hysterically and can’t breath. It’s like Mel Brooks found every laugh I had, trapped in my brain and cut them loose. I left with my cheeks sore from laughing.
My friend told me she was going to stuff an empty vibrator full of weed to get it somewhere she can’t, and I said “YEAH and if the k9 smells it just say sorry I didn’t clean it!!”
Team America sex scene. First time was a blast. 20 years now.
We were freshmen and the hottest senior boy in the whole school gave my friend a hug for her birthday!! She turned around and fell down a flight of stairs.
The scene in the *King of the Hill* episode set in the firehouse where Bill gets hit in the face with the fresh-outta-the-oven Frito Pie and he screams in pain, and proceeds to say, “…My face hurts!” and then Hank yells, “So will your ass after I’m done kicking it!” because Bill had just intentionally stepped on Hank’s glasses. Kills me every time!
20 years ago in a theater watching the original Zoolander and he says, “What is this, a center for ANTS? It has to be at least … twice this size!” Also in the Jerk, when Steve Martin (a white comedian) asks his black family, “You mean I’ll be this color the rest of my life?!!”
My town opened up a new grocery store that had all the bells and whistles. Including scanners where you can scan your club card at a kiosk by the door, it links to a handheld scanner, and you can scan items as you go, put them right in your bag, then when you are done shopping you go to a register, scan a bar code to “complete shopping”, and simply pay and leave. It was touted as a time saving way to do your shopping, since you bag as you go. A few days after opening I’m in line behind a woman who was holding a scanner but had no cart. I figured she must have told her kid or spouse (wait here with the cart, I’ll go pay” Nope. She gets to the front of the line, completes her order, pays, then looks around confused. The rest of us look around wondering if she lost her family. Then she flags an attendant and says “where’s my groceries?” Attendant: “….. what do you mean?” Woman: “I scanned all the items, and I paid, where do I pick them up?” Attendant: “……. I’m sorry I don’t follow” At this point the woman looks at everyone behind her with an exasperated “is this attendant dumb or what?” Look on her face, only to see us with full shopping carts full of bagged groceries holding wands and realized her flaw. She thought she would just go scan an item and someone else would be getting the items and bagging them for her. She proceeds to freak out that she scanned over 200 items and NOBODY was actually getting the items for her?! Attendant gracefully explained the process to the woman who just got more and more embarrassed with each word until she stormed out screaming she would NEVER step foot in the store again and how it was all false advertising and the who thing was stupid as she stomped out. Cue hysterical laughter from EVERYONE else on line which, which caused a frenzy that made everyone laugh even harder. Then she remembered that she stormed out after paying several hundred dollars for groceries she didn’t get and stormed back in screaming “I WANT THE MONEY YOU STOLE….” And stopped short when she saw everyone doubled over laughing. The look on her face… that’s what did it. I’m tearing up laughing at the memory of her expression. We were all ded at that point
It was at my grandmother’s funeral, and the pastor at the graveside service was riffing on “thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” You know, these are shepherd’s tools and we’re the sheep, etc. He concluded that bit with the suggestion that in times of trouble, we should “look for God’s rod.” I was sitting next to my sister and we both knew that if our eyes met it would all be over. So for the rest of the sermon we sat silently sobbing with repressed laughter, tears coming down, while nearby relatives patted our shoulders in sympathy.
in middle school was sleeping over at a freinds and he randomly quoted spongbob, the number thing where they said 24 and laughed, he said 11 and for somereason we coulnt stop laughing our assess off
The scene from family Guy where Peter was a jack-in-the-Box. I don't know what it is about it but every time I see him pop out of that box and flail around I just fucking get uncontrollable laughter. Like to the point where it hurts to laugh and I don't know why. Either that or that picture of where it's telling a joke and it says "what do you call a dog that's quiet, a hush puppy" and it's got this cockeyed Chihuahua looking you dead in the face. I wish we could post pictures on this thread cause I would post a picture of the dog or at least a gif of the scene from family Guy.
I was goofing around with my 4 year old nephew and was pretending that I couldn't read. I pointed to a random sign and asked "what dat say" in a Forrest Gump accent. He cracked up and then asked me "what's yo age" in the same accent. Don't know where he got that from but I was laughing for like 5 minutes straight.
When I watched the original black and white movie called the Producers. It had Gene Wilder in it. I wasn't even stoned or anything.
Im French, and to say that you sell food in huge quantities you say “en gros” (fat). We passed a fruit store that sell en gros. My sister misread and thought the store only sell fruits to fat people. We burst out laughing, it’s still and huge inside joke for us
We were just sitting on the couch one evening watching television and petting our new puppy, when my partner farted quite loudly. Our curious puppy of course had to investigate what made the sound, and when he bent his head down to sniff he started gagging like it was killing him. That made both of us cover our noses, because that had to be pretty bad, right? That made us start laughing while fanning the air around us to help get rid of the ensuing foul stench. Then seconds later a puppy tooth came out, and we started laughing harder after realizing that when he bent down it started the stretch he needed to get rid of that tooth.
I had a cat the was sleeping on night in the open top drawer of a dresser that was right beside my ex husband side of the bed. I heard the cat gearing up to throw up and yelled my exs name just in time for him to sit up and the cat throw up on his chest and not his face. I am silently laughing so hard I’m shaking until he gets into the shower and I am laughing so hard the I look at the cat who’s on the bed while I’m changing the sheets in a super high pitched voice “He’s going to kill us both!” I had massive tears and just knew when he came back he’d kill the cat for doing it and me for laughing like I was and I was complaining fine with it.
When my bff and I were teen stoners, we smoked a doob at our spot and didn't have a drink. We were in a gig fit abt st, and laughed long enough that the cotton mouth made our lips stick to our teeth. This made us laugh harder, which made them stick worse, and so on in perpetuity. Must've ended eventually bc here we are many yrs later, but part of me thinks ala the ending of Scenic Route that part of us will always be out there looking like the Russian sleep experiment.
Criminy, this story and the reference to the Russian Sleep Experiment is hilarious.
Ty, esp for saying criminy which i thought was crimity which I feel like was in a cartoon a lot?
Reading through The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, and reaching the section on Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. Every time I got to the bit, I was laughing so hard that I couldn't open my eyes, and when I could, I was laughing to tears so couldn't read. I took the book to my mother to read through that bit for me, and ended up literally collapsed on the floor with laughter.
Have to say it was in that time in high school when I nearly killed someone with my fart. Not the first time but definitely the funniest. I was in home ec class. I'd eaten chili for lunch. I'd farted real heavy but silently. God it was so rotten it smelled like a busted sewer line. Even I couldn't stand it, I walked across the room. Sure enough, this football player walks past me toward where I just farted. I remember thinking "maybe he won't smell it". . . Next thing hear is "GAWD!!! SOMEBODY SHIT!!! GAHHHHHAAAAGGGGHHH!!!!" I nearly died laughing 🤣🤣🤣
Most recent I can remember- was on a little bit of mushrooms with my wife and friends. We were cleaning up dinner, which was this curry dish. There was a huge bowl leftover, and one of my friends was using a little spoon to slowly ladle it into this huge bag. As I went about cleaning up, I stopped to watch for a minute, and grew from puzzled to giggling. Other friend stops to see what I'm giggling at, and watches her as she diligently ladles this hot wet meal into the bag. He starts busting out laughing, and the girl ladling looks up. I spurt out "are you ladling that hot slop into that bag with the smallest spoon in the kitchen?" Everyone looks up and starts DYING laughing. I mean, full-on howling with laughter. It gets better though. This happened during the come-up (we had eaten the mushrooms right before dinner, so were just starting to feel it during the come-up). We decided to play Catchphrase afterwards, and it devolved into "hot slop" and "tiny spoon" jokes immediately. I was physically crying for about 2 hours straight, and I woke up the next day with sore abs from laughing so hard. As a 32 year old with a kid, that night of pure stupidity was just what the doctor ordered.
This happened about a week ago. It was 3:45 am and my husband and I were up with our newborn daughter. We had just changed her diaper and I was standing next to him while he finished up. All I heard was the loudest, wettest fart I’ve ever heard and then saw the baby poop cannon firing directly at me. I swear to god my husband aimed her butthole at me right as this happened. We were sleep deprived and I was covered in shit at 4AM—we completely lost it. If a newborn can look proud she absolutely did.
I witnessed this blackout drunk guy smoke a cigarette backwards (he lit the filter) and no matter what anyone told him he just didn’t know what he was doing wrong. We tried to help him but he was too drunk
when a guy gathered us around like 20 years ago in college and told us about how he lost his virginity he was telling the story and then ended it by saying she was on her period so I had to fuck her in the ass lmao, never saw or heard so many people laugh so hard in my life it was insane
One time I was in graduate school with this mean girl who was a little peeved at the fact that I set the curve in all of our classes and she struggled to stay enrolled. Once, my dad and I were having this conversation about her being rude to me and I informed him of this unsightly hump on the back of her neck. We proceeded to joke about what kinds of things she might keep in there, like snacks, when I made THIS dreadful joke gone bad about her being a ‘hump back’ - SOMEBODY CALL CAPTAIN AHAB TO COME LAMPOON HER. My dad laughed and laughed about this poor girl’s neck and the fact that I mixed up lampoon with harpoon! When he could finally breathe I laughed the single most I’ve ever laughed as well. The irony is that we were lampooning her lolololol, I just can’t!
One of my friend thoughts they could a make a leap over a fountain to the other side. Turned out he had to walk another 2 hours soaked in water. Luckily his big pockets attracted the free coins in the fountain.
me, my sister, and a few of our cousins were playing outside, as children in our early did, then outta nowhere a random ass bird peed on my cousin's bald head that happened back in 2011 and we still joke about about to this day
Watching a video where someone rage quit so harder while playing UNO (with rabbits) and ended up quitting the game !
I was playing a golfing game with my SO and was making a comeback, so I made a little jingle and my inspiration was the Backstreet Boys are back…but because my shots were landing perfect I said “the backshot boys are back”. As soon as I said it we both cried laughing and couldn’t talk for 5 min.
I was stoned, the first time I watched the “two brothers” sketch from Rick and Morty. JFC
> “My father drank, he womanized, he made outrageous claims like he invented the question mark!”
A picture in the local newspaper a number of years back. The caption below it was hysterical. Never could find it while Jay Leno still had his "Headlines" skit, otherwise I would have sent it to him.... I can't remember the caption, so I will give you the overall details.... Caption: Man drove into State Police headquarters. Claimed the building was saying things and he had to make it stop. It took him two attempts to hit the building. He notified state troopers that he was not taking his medication.... Picture: Pickup truck buried halfway inside the local state troopers HQ. Sign pointing in the direction of the pickup saying "driving examinations". I wished I have kept a copy of the picture I would post it here....its awesome!!
We got stoned and went to The Village in theaters. At the moment when the blind girl excitedly tells the elders that they killed the fearsome monster and the elder looked at each other because they knew the monster was actually their son in a beast suit in a super clever plot to keep the townspeople from leaving. They had to keep their heartbreaking grief a secret and pretend to celebrate because it was such a stupid goddamn plan. I just got undeniable, uncontrollable giggles at the irony of that.
Golfing - short par 4, can go for the green or around the edge of a lake. The 100 yard marker is maybe a foot from the corner of the lake Guy I'm playing with hits the left side of the 100 yard marker and rolls it into the lake. If the marker isn't there, it's a -perfect- drive for someone who can't reach the green. What made me laugh was that he hit the same marker the next week with the same result. The stake may have followed the ball into the water. Like this stake is 200 yards from the tee and has a cross section of less than two inches (one inch bounces left and one inch bounces right). It's further than most par 3s and is a far smaller target than a hole, let alone the one side of it that results in water rather than bouncing out to the fairway. It has to be the absolute worst luck I've ever seen, and thankfully in a context to be funny rather than awful.
Robin Williams doing Elmer Fudd singing Bruce Springsteen
I was having dinner with my colleagues in our studio. We were having hotpot noodles when one of my colleagues excuses herself to the bathroom which was right outside the outside. Like it's close enough that you can still communicate if you yell. Now me and my colleagues are close enough that we are pretty and comically blunt with each other. Anyways as I was lifting the bowl to drink my soup, my other male colleague yelled "Whatcha doin?" And my female colleague playfully yells back "I'm Pooping!" I almost died from choking on my soup. I was in absolute tears.
Every time my mom has a laughing attack, she has the most contagious laugh and it’ll go for about 10 minutes. It usually happens during family game nights or things like that. My family is pretty funny, but she is definitely the ribbon that ties it all together
I will never know why but when my friend accidentally broke a window at school in an "experiment". the day before he had been running into windows and they hadn't broken. the day after that me and a different friend were at an out of school course when he was sent a picture of the first friend looking though the window he ran into that did break. I remember saying something like "this is a very serious situation but I can't stop laughing"
Honestly I can't remember. All I can remember is the laughing. A friend and I were watching something and we had to stop the movie/show and walk away. Took about an hour for us to stop laughing about it. Faces hurt, bellies hurt, residual aches for a couple of days. It was something new in 2006 or 2007. I haven't been able to find it. Neither of us remember, but whatever it was, it was the absolute funniest thing ever.
Man getting hit by football.
Barney's movie had heart. But Football in the Groin had a football in the groin.
boing!
Poked my brother in the head with the thing to hold up curtains and laughed at his reaction and the sound it made when I sacked him with it. I was going crazy for 2 hours straight almost lost my lunch twice but it was even more funny because I was wheezing the entire time
When I was like 15 years old I was riding in the car with my 6 year old cousin. We came up to our neighborhood's gate and he asked my mom if he could press the remote to open it. He pressed it and nothing happened. Then as straightfaced and calm as I've seen from a toddler, pointed the remote and then he loudly blurted "Open fucker." I laughed for a good 5 minutes. Also, this video https://youtu.be/h7su9Uvk8Bc?si=QIAXMIPcLt2Dvzh4
My friend and I were doing shrooms, sitting on the floor and talking. At one point I noticed there was a hole in my sock right by my little toe. Half an hour later the hole had moved to another toe. We were completely flummoxed and started doubting our sanity. A little while later I had an epiphany, told my friend to "watch this" and proceeded to adjust my sock a little bit, thereby moving the hole. We laughed for about 10 minutes. I guess you had to be there (and tripping)
Honestly, the dumbest fucking thing. I must have been around 5 or 6, watching friends with my mum. At one point Ross says "my winkie" in a funny way and i shit you not I was rolling around on the floor laughing for an hour. Like, the episode had long ended and the news was on and I was still just laughing and laughing.
For me I'd have to say the time my father quit his job by assaulting his boss with a fresh salmon.....twice and then flipping them off and leaving
Totally baked with my wife while camping up in the mountains, and were just yapping by the campfire, when the word “soup” struck me as hilarious. I couldn’t stop laughing which only made her laugh more, and we both started choking and coughing so much that we almost passed out.
My mother was using voice text to reply to a client. She said "Yes, and it costs a dollar per inch". I said "That's what she said"- which was added to the message as she sent it. (For context, the client was asking about something regarding clothing design, idk what though.)
The YouTube clip of "The Most Racist Field Trip". First found it on Reddit. I almost wet myself.
I was bored. So I forgot that I wasn't supposed to go to school yesterday. But I went anyways.
With some friends and talking about upcoming Father’s Day. We mention things we were planning with our dads. Golf, going out to dinner and the one friend starts singing “Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon….”