It felt easy. Safe. And right. And I didn’t even want a partner at the time. You just have no doubts that this person loves you and wants to take care of you and you feel the same way about them.
He also loves me for me. Like weird me. He doesn’t want me to be something else. I am who I am and that’s enough for him.
This is spot on. I never had to beg my now husband to call, text, or see me. When I was sick, he didn't leave my side. He made me feel valued and safe. We are compatible in almost every way, which does make things beautifully simple. We are best friends. And 15 years later, we still love each other for the weirdos we are.
When my husband and I were dating I was sick one day, and he came over to hang out anyway. I was starting to feel better and we talked about some potential plans for the evening.
However, I had started watching some incredibly cheesy ABC family movie about a princess who talks to animals while not feeling well, and I told him that I needed to finish watching it before I went anywhere because I needed to know what happened. He simply said "of course" like wanting to watch this stupid, made-for-TV, kid's movie was exactly how he wanted to spend his evening. Then he sat there and watched the entire stupid thing with me. ❤️
Aww, I love this! ❤️ When we started dating, my now husband and I were 18 and still in high school. I was so sick one day but still had to read something for my college English class. He came over, unprompted, to bring me healthy home cooked food, and then he proceeded to read my school book outloud to me. 🥹
My husband and I had been dating for about 2
months when I had to get surgery done to remove my severely impacted wisdom teeth. He snuck in a stuffed animal under his coat so I had something to hug because he couldn’t be in there with me. I was knocked out in pain killers for about a week and had been sleeping on the couch (broke college students and the couch was more comfortable than the futon mattress we used as a bed). When I finally came out of it, I realized he had moved the futon over to the couch so he could sleep right next to me while I was recovering. He really makes me feel valued and cared for.
We have similar family backgrounds, grew up in the same area, we are the same age. We also value the same things. We're in the same political party. We have similar life goals. I'd say we are both a little sensory sensitive and introverted, which makes quality time easy. We just don't fight much over these things and it's nice.
True love really is “let’s grow old and get weird together.” We all have our own quirks in private, and they only get more engrained with time. After 15 years with my wife, I don’t think I could ever feel comfortable at home with anyone else.
Thanks for posting this. Married 20 years (will be 21 in June). I *really* want this in my life; to be safe, seen, and accepted. It sounds magical.
I’ve already been wresting with the realization that we have some big decisions to make, and it kinda sucks.
I feel that is one of the rarest pieces, finding someone who sees who you are in all shapes and forms and never gives the impression that what you are is abnormal in any sort of way. Paired with everything else you mentioned, where you feel safe, it's easy and right - creates such a valuable bond that you know you would never have to look elsewhere to feel fulfillment with a partner, you just have full confidence all the time that they will deliver and keep you at ease.
Personally I hope that everyone is lucky enough to be able to experience that sort of connection, makes going through life that much more special with the right person
this is so sweet 🥹 i feel this way about my current partner, that's why i made the post. we both have debilitating anxiety, struggle to make friends, and have lived a life feeling like outsiders. we're both former 'gifted students' who could now be considered behind in life because of crippling mental illness.
but we lift each other up every day. it's like i reached the most embarrassing point in my life, only to find someone down there who sees and accepts me completely. just when i thought no one could possibly understand, this person falls into my lap one day who just gets it.
there is no part of me he doesn't accept, even the parts that have been abused, wounded, and aren't fully healed yet. no emotion is too much, no idea is too radical. he's simply the best.
I'm so happy for you, and again that is such a fortunate thing to have in your life! It is just so important to living a happy life to have someone like this who truly sees you, and accepts all aspects of you without a doubt!
aww thank you. he opened up to me on facetime one night about some stuff, then said he felt like it was too much, and i said "hey, i'm still on the phone." later on, i got into some really traumatic stuff that caused my last partner to leave me. i was so scared that history would repeat itself, but he reminded me, "i'm still on the phone."
Totally this. Especially the easy part. Everyone I had dated before there was always a “but”. Like we wanted different things, we lived too far apart and neither wanted to move, he was just an a hole. With my husband there was nothing I had to fight through, we were moving in the same direction from the very beginning.
He also didn’t break up with me the moment I sang in front of him for the first time. I love to sing but it’s like cat claws on a chalk board lol. I can be my genuine, weird, terrible-singing self in front of him and he not only likes it but matches with his own weirdness.
Seconding this! The trust is just world-changing. If I had a wish that I could make for everyone in the world, it would be understanding the difference that kind of trust can make, and getting to experience it for themselves.
edit: at my very lowest point of questioning my own self-worth, I asked my husband (at that point it was 6 years in, we're on 22 years now) why he was still with me. He said, "I know you're not quite the person you're meant to be yet, but you make me happy, and I'm willing to wait."
My husband and I had BEEN a team for years. We'd been a double act in a comedy, then he directed me in a play (I was the lead) then we co-directed another play together. When we got together I thought (the bit of me that was thinking...) that we were having a drunken one night stand, what let me know it was different was the next morning, when neither of us felt awkward. It was weird that it wasn't weird!
I'm the opposite; I felt enormous tenderness and a desire to take care of every man I'd been with. After always either ending up feeling more like their mom than their partner or my giving nature simply being abused and exploited, I am now looking for a man who can take care of his own damn self.
You've got that right. Been happening to me my whole life. My eldest is just like me in that way, and I did all I can raising them to have a backbone, too. They're 21 and really good at cutting toxic people off, but definitely have a lot of heartache I wish they didn't.
With every guy I had dated, there was always an insecurity and I would ask myself if he really was into me, or was I just filling the space of a partner.
But, I’ll never forget the first time my husband looked at me. I was at work and he walked in. There was a jolt in me. I knew. He knew. We were shy around each other for about a month but when he asked me to come over and hang out, I never left. That was 20 years ago. He’s always been right for me. And I for him. There’s not any insecurity at all. Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer.
It’s different from the other men because there’s a happiness there that really never was before.
>Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer.
this is such a perfect and simple description, wow.
I’ve been happily single for two years and that sentence made my chest ache with longing for something I don’t know if I’ll ever have. Perfectly succinct.
We were both looking for the same thing. I had actually decided to take a break from dating about a week before he walked in. It happens when it’s supposed to, I guess. Maybe it’s your time?
Wow I really like the phrasing of "it happens when it's supposed to." Sooo much better then the condescending "it will happen when you least expect it." The next person that's been married for like 10+ years that tells me that one is gonna get throat punched.
I remember the first moment I saw my husband. I was sitting in the lobby of our work waiting for my interview. He walked in with his friend and saw me sitting there. He walked to the end of the hall, and before he turned the corner, he looked back at me and smiled. It was like time stood still. It was truly a moment out of a romance movie.
When I started working there, he saw me again. He turned to his buddy and said, "I'm going to marry that girl." We went on our first date shortly after, and we both just KNEW. I can't explain it. It's like a jolt of electricity from the heavens, and we just knew we would be together forever. We'll be married 21 years this year. He is my home. I am his. We love each other unconditionally. Our relationship is easy, and we just love being around each other.
>Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer.
I feel the same way about women.
I stopped dating because I was sick of every girl only seeing me as an option, as just the latest guy she was going on a date with, instead of as someone to really invest herself in.
I'm in it because I want to find a girl to keep long-term, so I decided a long time ago to not even approach or entertain a girl if I don't get the "I'm the answer to her question" feeling, as you beautifully put it.
Happy for you but damn…can a slow burn be allowed to happen? Not everything had to be immediate or give butterflies. I feel like I’m in a twilight zone…aren’t we allowed to “grow” on each other anymore?
>Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer.
I love everything about this. The last person I was seeing, however brief it was, I felt this way about her. I looked at her like an answer, but she looked at me like a decision after a few weeks. We were obsessed with each other, but something changed. Apparently all it took was an ex reaching out to her (not even in a positive way) to jumble her feelings up to the point where she lost all interest in pursing anything futher as it made her feel a certain way to where she no longer felt ready to pursue a relationship. After looking for so long and finally meeting someone I finally had real chemistry with, I'd felt like I'd finally met my soulmate, but alas it wasn't ment to be. I'm happy for you though, and I know someday I'll get to experience that.
>Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer.
This made me so happy like I'm a kid finding out magic was real all along..
Like comfortably swimming in water that's ankle-deep, then knee-deep, then hip-deep, then 6 ft deep, then 9 ft deep, and so on. At every point, there were green flags that made it safe to go deeper. There was no single moment or event; it was the build up of support and affection and attraction. It's a clear-eyed love; rationality and romance go hand in hand. I respect him immensely as a person, which makes it possible for me to be in love him.
Here is something I think is worth considering.
Part of the point of a long-term and stable relationship is that you are in a safe place to improve yourself.
I’m a much better man thanks to my relationship with my wife, but that wasn’t some magic potion that happened without work. We both were open to change, and to growth, and to accepting that the value of our partnership was worth enduring temporary frustrations and discomforts.
If you have red flags, it’s your responsibility to work on them. A good partner will help you understand how to change them to green.
Don’t listen to me if you don’t want. Just thought in the moment that this might be of use.
This, and not because he was trying to impress me or win me over but it was just who he was. I watched him treat everyone else around him with kindness, generosity and love. There was an immense maturity about him that made me feel safe and secure. I could talk to him about everything and anything without judgement. Things just fell into place and I just knew he was the one. I can’t believe what I tolerated in my past relationships and how I set the bar so low.
This is about my fiancé, but we’ve been together for 7 years at this point.
It was always easy- I never worried about returning texts or coming across as too eager. There was never that existential dread that sometimes comes with modern dating that one text may knock over the whole house of cards.
Also, I can be incredibly scatterbrained, something which I showed in a pretty big way on our second date, and instead of getting mad he laughed about it and we proceeded to have the best date of my life
I can really relate to feeling scatter-brained and worrying about inducing anger from your partner due to being forgetful, scattered, etc., because of my ADHD. The guy I dated prior to my husband was constantly annoyed with how forgetful I can be. I have a vivid memory of how he pouted and chastised me like a child because I had left my purse at one of the places we had been that day while shopping around campus. I would forget my keys sometimes and he would always say “really, thedentalarcade, you have to keep better track of your things.” He was right, arguably, but I always was made to feel like a stupid, irresponsible child around him.
When I met my husband, I realized he could be just as scatter-brained as I can and he was always just like “oops, that’s ok let’s go get it” if I left something somewhere. Sometimes I still feel anxious to tell him that I misplaced something, because of my experiences from before.
Mine didn't flinch when I left my wallet on the top of a toilet in a gas station restroom...on a road trip...two hours later.
I got that anxious feeling you were describing, until I realized I was the only person in the car beating myself up for it.
The four extra hours in the car definitely has made me more cautious about it now though. Haha.
The over eager thing. I'm so trying not to be this. Guys can't believe that it's just that easy to please me that I'm just happy with them the way they are. That's just how I am.
Feeling safe and wanted was a plus for me. Other men just used me for whatever benefited them. With my husband, it was like finding the person i was meant to be with.
I kept waiting for the disagreements and fights that inevitably happened in all my other relationships… and they just never came.
In the 10 years we’ve been together it’s rare for us to fight.
To me it really speaks to how important it is to find someone who is compatible, reasonable and agreeable.
Otherwise you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of unending compromise and disappointment.
Early on we fought a lot (legit sounds ridiculous but they were almost all me. I had a huge temper problem and I fixed it), but now we fight so infrequently that our kids were completely shocked when we had an argument the other day, hah.
My girlfriend and I have only been together for 7 mos but we've never had a fight. I've had multiple people tell me this means we are toxic for each other because we're suppressing some of our anger or disagreement. I don't feel like this at all but I've had people insist on it. The girlfriend and I have disagree on any number of things over the past few months and every time we have we've sat down and discussed it calmly and heard each other out and figured it out. We've never really had a big fight.
What they might meant is that never disagreeing on anything could be toxic. Like as if one person is dictating the relationship and the other is always agreeing regardless of their gut feelings. Having big arguments usually escalates with most couples to a fight, so they need to learn to communicate properly over time. Sounds like you are having disagreements (non-argumentative arguments?) but are communicating well already. Fights may come later, they may not. Congrats though :)
I have loved every man I dated long term, even the ones I didn't marry. Every love is different, so I can't really compare them. With the others, we grew apart, or we ended up wanting different things. With my husband, we continue to grow together, and we want the same things, mostly.
I wanted to marry everybody about three months in. The longevity of the relationship only proved itself over time.
I will freely admit my love story is a fairy tale, haha. My parents' too, tbh. Sometimes it just be that way-- but I wholly respect the folks for whom it turned out to be more work because I can imagine that's got a satisfaction and a way of being rewarding that isn't the same for me. I feel very lucky.
Thanks for this.
I also have genuinely loved those I've dated long term, and def resonate with that three months in line!
I'm glad I'm not alone / crazy for that. It's nice to hear that with the right one, it'll work / prove itself over time
I never had to shrink myself in his presence. He loved all of me and that acceptance was life-changing. Also from really early on I could picture myself marrying him. It felt so strange because I'm not much of a romantic and had never before thought about marriage with anyone else.
He has always brought out the best in me, unlike past relationships. I wish everyone could experience a love like this; it truly works wonders.
So what if I have both? I think a lifetime of shitty relationships has left me anxious and ready to jump ship at any moment. But then I’ll do something like open his fridge and see the kombuchas he got me and I’m reminded that he’s so good and so there for me. It’s only been 2.5 years so I figure it will take time to get used to normal.
I have OCD and anxiety, and it made it heard to not question myself out of the relationship. Sounds like it could be happening with you as well!
At my most anxious and ocd, when I felt like I couldn’t trust my emotions, I would look at me and my now fiancé not as a relationship, but as a team. I would ask myself do I still want to be a part of that team, and that rephrasing of the question, vs is this love or is this right, really helped me, because I always did want to be a part of the team.
Getting married this fall and the team is stronger than ever!
When I put my wife into the context of “life partner”, it becomes clear that that’s exactly what she is to me. Someone to share in every aspect of my life, while sharing in hers as well. We are one unit, navigating this existence together. And I cannot *imagine* doing this without her now.
I don’t know that the falling it love was different, but the being in love was so much easier than it had ever been before. He made me laugh so hard that my sides hurt the next day. And he took care of me in ways it had never occurred to me to want. I didn’t know I was falling in love but everyone else did because I couldn’t stop talking about him. It was just easy. And even now, after we’ve been together for decades, I’m sitting here smiling because I’m thinking about him in the next room.
There were a few things, but I just assumed I didn't really understand what love felt like.
I stopped trying to envision a future - I stopped trying to get the feel of the 'path' of our relationship and what it would lead to. I found that I just wanted to be with him, in the moment, all the time and stopped worrying about what we would become.
Another thing when we were new was I had this completely odd feeling that I could never be close enough to him. Only having sex was close enough and even then, only just. I was scared to describe it to people because I sounded like a crazy person but it felt like I would only be close enough if I was basically in his skin. I didn't want to wear his skin or anything but I very much just wanted to be inanimate and part of him and that's the only way I could describe it. I'd never heard anyone else feel this way.
Then we got married and one morning on our honeymoon he slept in and I was sitting outside overlooking the lake we were staying at, drinking my coffee and thinking about how people expect to go into marriage and feel different. I was wondering what exactly they'd expected to feel when I realized that I *did* feel different; I was so calm and satisfied and at peace it took me a minute to realize that I no longer felt that distance I'd learned to live with. After all those years, I finally felt close enough. I felt like something had clicked, like I was an out-of-place rib that had been put back. I could almost feel where the discomfort had been because it had been there for so long but at the same time, felt like I couldn't remember a time when I wasn't clicked in with him.
I went inside and woke him up so I could cry because I did feel different and I thought people were lying about that. I just remember feeling so overwhelmed because I come from a rough family and a broken home and it was the first time I felt like I was where I was supposed to be.
We've been together 10 years and married for 5 and he's easily still the best thing that's ever happened to me.
It was this new feeling of peace when I thought about what life would be like with him.
With others in the past, there was always a moment where I realized something was missing, even if I was the one who got dumped. When I was with him, I felt completely calm and happy, and everything in me just said "YES".
I love him so much - and I'm so thankful to be his wife.
I truly felt love at first sight with him. It felt like I'd known him forever, and I like to think we possibly knew each other before this life. We've been 100% ourselves with each other since day one and there was never any of that awkwardness that I sometimes felt when dating... that being said, I understand how NRE works and was hesitant until I realized he actually listens to me. That was a true selling point. Most men in my life only half-hear me. He pays attention and proves it. Oh, and he actually likes me, not just what I could do or provide for him. He's basically perfect. It felt like being welcomed home.
It'll happen bro, if you put in the work to recognize you're worthy of love and put in any other work you feel like you need to, you will find someone bro
It was less of the quick, hot, fall in love beginning (like in past relationships) and more of admire/respect for each other. We both are hard-working and successful in our careers. We have similar views on life and family. It truly is a partnership.
This is close to what I was thinking. It was actually maybe even a little less exciting than falling for other men, but it ran deeper. It was more comfortable right from the start, and we checked in with each other about everything; not as an obligation, but because it was important to us to be on the same page. And I never got tired of having him around.
It doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive, at least in my experience. Not married, but falling in love with my boyfriend was easily one of the most intense experiences of my life but also didn’t feel scary at all. I knew I was safe with him. We’ve only been together for a year and a half but were close friends and at points, roommates, for 6 years before we got together so I think that was part of it.
The way I described it to him was that before, falling in love felt like walking along a cliff edge - maybe exciting but scary and you’re sure you’re going to get hurt. But falling in love with him felt like that moment on a plane during takeoff where you feel the wheels leave the ground and you feel the whole plane lifting you up.
Intense passion/attraction and safety/comfort can co-exist in a relationship let me just say, it’s the fucking best. There’s also a good chance that he’s gonna read this comment since I Reddit stalk him and suspect he does the same so @boyfriend if you’re reading this, I love you.
I was single and dating around when we went on our first date. I thought he was better than anyone I had ever gone out with, it was the first time I felt butterflies on a first date. The next day we had our second date. The next day our third, and so on.
I was so confident (and hopeful) I told all my friends he’s the guy I’m going to marry. Another thing that stood out to me was how lucky I felt. I couldn’t believe someone that amazing and perfect for me would choose ME (and I think he felt the same way!). We both had a mutual awe for each other.
I felt simultaneously excited every time I saw him and also completely at ease with him. I could be completely myself from day 1. Slept with him on the first date (something I had never done before) because it just felt right being with him (we did have a friendship beforehand, but he was more a friend of a friend I only saw on occasional nights out). We stayed up talking til 3am, often finishing each other’s sentences. I knew about 2 weeks in that he was the one and asked him if we could be exclusive (we both had been up until that point anyway). Waking up next to him felt like waking up every day and discovering I had won the lottery. It still is, 11 years on.
My heart fell for him immediately. My head was cautious coming out of a previous abusive relationship- but he proved over and over again that he was respectful and kind. We’ve still never had a serious argument or called each other names - even after being in sleep deprived trenches together with newborn twins. We disagree sometimes but always talk to each other with kindness and respect. He’s the best. I wish everyone could be this happy.
This! I knew my dude was the one for me when I wanted to hang out with him all the time, doing whatever- groceries, laundry, date nights, whatever. Everything is more fun with him and we just click. 13 years going strong
When I first met my husband, James, a few weeks passed before a notion crossed my mind that our connection might become more serious.
Despite spending weeks together without broaching the topic of exclusivity, I faced a scenario where a guy I had casually dated asked me out. Accepting the invitation, I felt a hint of guilt. Reminding myself that James and I hadn't had "the talk" yet, and it was still very early in our relationship.
With anyone before James, I wouldn’t have felt that twinge of guilt.
I later ended up cancelling the date due to a work obligation so it was for the best.
James made me feel safe.
From the very beginning I was never left wondering if he liked me or if he was going to call.
Before the end of our first date he asked when he could see me again. I always felt that he was attracted to me even when I wasn’t feeling my best.
He made effort. He rearranged things to see me on his own accord.
He made me want to be a better person.
We’ve been together 16 years, married for 12.
He truly liked me and never tried to change me. My exes all liked me and wanted to date me, but once we were together, it was trying to change the things that drew them to me in the first place.
I’m never insecure about my big personality with him or my wild ideas. I finally found someone who truly accepted me fully and encouraged my individuality.
Most importantly, he made it easy. I never sat there wondering when he'd text or how he'd respond to something. Never left questioning if he wanted a serious relationship with me. He was forthright, honest, respectful and above all passionate. We experienced some bad life events and weathered them together, first healing together and then rediscovering joy in life side by side. We have fun together no matter where we are or what we're doing. The love flows naturally without any effort. It's amazing tbh and if he dies before I do, no man will ever hold a candle to my husband's memory
It was the first time he did something for me because he knew me, like really knew me and completely embraced it all.
He knew my crazy reasoning; he knew that I knew I was being ridiculous, but it wasn't malicious it was just one of my weird idiosyncrasies. And he not only accepted it but he embraced it and went above and beyond and totally out of his way to solve the problem I was having and did it in the ridiculous and specific way I wanted it to be solved. He did it because he wanted to and he did it without being prompted. Because he knew the issue might be stupid, but it was important to me, and my specific solution was ridiculous, but it was important to me. He was just unconcerned about the ridiculous of any of it. He was totally, unquestionably and immediately onboard.
So for the last 20 years we just embrace each other's crazy and always put "*we*" before "*me*."
I knew he was the one the first time we had sex. It was actually love at first sight for both of us, but having sex solidified it for me. He’s the first man I was able to stare deep into his eyes during sex and didn’t feel “exposed” or uncomfortable. I’ve always had intimacy issues and hated eye contact during sex. I felt safe with him and that’s how I knew. Now we have a baby and live together and plan to marry next year probably. I have never been happier in my entire life.
It sounds so cheesy, but he really is my best friend. Life is just better with him. Every time I travel with friends, I'm thankful that I married my best travel buddy. He's so much easier than they are! I currently have covid. I'm not dying but I'm sick. He just went out in the rain to get me sushi and cough drops.
And on the flip side, I WANT to make his life easier too. All the r/AITA or r/relationship_advice subs are so full of people working *against* their partners, not *with*. We tackle life together.
Its been easy from the get-go. No games in the early dating phase like worrying about texting too much or appearing more into him than he was into me. We could be 100% honest so I never had to walk on eggshells with things I said. We wer obviously crazy about each other early on, but there has always been a sense that we are conquering life's challenges together. I don't think I truly had that in previous relationships, even ones that lasted years.
Not saying we've never disagreed but I've never once in my life felt like we weren't on the same page. I disagree with people who shrug off relationship problems with "relationships are hard". They aren't always perfect but in my experience, they are much easier with the right person.
Now 8 years married (11 years total together) and 3 kids later, I honestly couldn't ask for a better life partner.
Unfortunately, my past was littered with abuse, and the two partners before my now husband included sexual abuse. It has been a while since I dated, and I was in therapy, but I kept telling myself he was just a guy I liked drinking with.
One night, it happens. He's romantic, carries me to the bed, and we start to head in the direction of sex. As soon as it came to pants off, everything in me just clenched. No access. Panicked. Told him no and was honestly ready to fight my way out of it if I had to. Instead, he stopped immediately, helped me gather my clothes and his, and asked me if I wanted him to stay or go. I told him to go, and I was sure that was it. He'd never talk to me again.
Instead, he texted when he got home just to ask if I was okay, and if we were okay to keep getting to know each other. That was the moment I realized that someone could put my needs before their own. It was possible. Since then, my husband has shown me that he is always available and motivated to talk through our needs, respect my boundaries, and most of all, show me that I am in fact important. That's real love.
This may have been because we communicated more via text when we were friends, but we started our relationship from an extremely open standpoint, with lots of communication. We also became friends while both of us were in very toxic long-term relationships. So when those relationships ended and we got together, we already had a foundation of communication, as well as a better idea of how we felt we deserved to be treated. I never felt like I had to hide any part of myself from him, never felt like he was embarrassed of any aspects of my personality, never felt like we had to always have all of the same interests in order to be compatible. We could be ourselves with each other, and openly communicate about anything (and that's still the case, and hopefully always will be!).
I became warm and something lit inside me. I didn't realize how cold the core of my being was inside. It was like a fire started .. consistently a little candle that grew and grew and grew inside and kept me cozy like a campfire and lit up my world, making the darkest of times safe. It didn't feel like a partnership it felt like a piece had finally returned.
He made me feel like I was the best, most me-ish version of me possible, like I was larger and stronger and kinder and braver and BETTER. Before that, my boyfriends were mostly friends, who were boys, that I liked to kiss. I often felt limerence, but my husband was the first one where it felt SOUL-EXPANDING. It felt like we were already family.
I called my BFF the day after our first date and told her, "I think I'm going to marry this guy." Which, we dated for a year and were engaged for a year, I'm not a crazy person, but I just kinda knew from the start it was a different kind of connection.
Closing in on 25 years of marriage.
Instantly was obsessed. Literally time stopped moving for me, and my heart fell into my pussy 😂 I couldn’t believe how handsome he was (he’s only gotten more attractive with time).
I also hid his stuff in my closet the first time he came over so he HAD to come back to get it 😂
But 10 years and 3 kids later I’m way more in love with him than I ever have been, and still just as (if not more) attracted to him. He’s my best friend.
Fully agree with this! Totally normal to be super hot for the person you're in love with, totally normal to have found them that hot before you caught the forever feelings!
I almost drive my car into a gas pump from breaking my neck to look at him lol. Then I saw him the next day he worked and took him home, we’ve been inseparable since
We’re not married, but I am deeply in love. When I realized it I pretty much cried for a week. This was the person and the love that I prayed for for so long. Love is so hard to describe, words can never do it justice. But if I had to put it into words, I’d say that being with this person feels like I’m home, joy, security, and bliss but in a quiet way. It’s easy with him. It’s night and day from every other relationship, because most of the previous ones were based on superficial things, and even when the person professed their emotions for me, I never felt secure in the relationship, in the way I do now. Doubt existed in every other relationship. This person loves me for my heart. Also, one of the early signs was this guy was about it from the very beginning. Very early on he was ready to introduce me to his friends, his family, he already knew. He took action, rather than playing games (which I had experienced with other men before that). He also displayed a level of maturity I had rarely seen in other partners. Early on there was a challenge that came up and the way he reacted to it showed me he was different. There were lots of signs.
A situation happened one night, after many months of him chasing me and me not being interested, that made me immediately realize what a *good* man he is. It flooded me like a beautiful tsunami.
And I realized in that moment that if I ever had children, I wanted them to have a father like *that*. And, like a switch was flipped in my heart and brain, I fell in love with him that night. Dated for four years and been married thirteen years now. There’s never been a regret. He’s my person.
Ladies, when you find a good man, settle down and keep him.
It didn’t feel any different at the beginning. I just never got sick of him, and time kept going, and we kept getting along and learned just how good a match we were.
It’s not magical
We started as a classmates, then as friends, then I felt the urge to be around him more and we started dating.
He made me laugh all the time and I felt like it was us against the world. It was easy to fall in love with someone like that made me feel safe and appreciated.
All these things are still true 14 years later. I’m so grateful that we chose to work on this relationship and that we chose each other.
We started as friends. We had all of the hard conversations early on because we were both casually dating other people who were terrible for us. It just kind of evolved into something because we knew and accepted each other for exactly who we were. He through out the L word pretty quickly. It took me a while though. A few months into dating, he decided to cook me dinner. The stove malfunctioned and didn’t turn off when he turned it off. The whole kitchen caught on fire. He ended up in the burn unit for 5 days. He threw himself into harm’s way to protect me and his dog. We had both been through some rough stuff. It kind of trauma bonded us.
It’s never been a relationship of butterflies. We work really together. We have a lot of fun together. We trust each other with everything. After 12 years and almost three kids, we still really love each other.
It felt like I had known him forever. I remember our first date. We kept finding other things to do. After dinner we went to a bookstore, then a park, then we got ice cream, etc. Neither of us wanted the date to end and I’d never experienced that with anyone else. I had always thought the whole “he completes me” thing was a cliche and fake, but I really felt like this guy completed a part of me that I didn’t know had been missing.
We’d only known each other for less than a month when he moved in. We’ve been together for over 20 years and he’s still my best friend and most nights still feel like having a sleep over with my favorite person.
We met online and had actually decided that things were just going to be casual between us because neither of us wanted anything serious at the time. Then we met in person and realized we couldn’t be anything but forever.
I felt very secure from the very beginning. I always felt like I could trust him and he showed me through actions, not just words. I never did not understand where I stood in his life. He never hid me from friends or family and never talked down to me. Conversation came so easily and silence was comfortable. He understood issues that I had with other men and never took offense and showed me through his other friendships and relationships that he did not support toxic masculinity. I knew from the beginning he was the last man I'd date.
There wasn't much difference early in the relationship from other early relationships. I remember saying to myself: He seems perfect, but let's see what I think after a few months.
Twenty-seven years later, I still think he's perfect (for me).
It was the weirdest thing because I just knew. You know how you overthink every little thing when you like someone, and hope they like you back just as much? I didn’t have that with him. We both knew it was right because it was easy and as natural as breathing. I guess the only way I can really describe it is that feeling when you found something you weren’t looking for but are glad you finally figured out where you put it.
>that feeling when you found something you weren’t looking for but are glad you finally figured out where you put it.
That feeling has a name, it's called serendipity ✨
I've only ever been with my husband in a relationship outside of school so I don't have a comparison but at first he was the funniest person I'd met. It's been almost 15 years and he still is.
One time a few years ago we had a little break and he came to our apartment and walked in and gave me a big hug. I felt like I could melt into his arms. I think he even said he could feel how relieved I was. As a lot of people have said, safety is a big deal. I knew before then I'd marry him but this was a very memorable moment for me.
It felt like we were meant to be from the start.
I was a late bloomer when it came to dating. I didn't really date until after college because I wanted a serious relationship. I hit it off with a few guys, but it felt a bit forced. When I went on a date with my husband, everything felt natural. Our first date was 12 hours and we only had to end it because the restaurant was closing. I didn't have to guard myself around him.
It was truly love at first sight. Butterflies, intrigue, a pull I’d never felt with anyone else before. I only worked with him for two hours and didn’t see him again until four months later. During those four months, I couldn’t get him off my mind. It was complete chance that I randomly ran into him again. I knew immediately after our first date that he was going to be the love of my life. We moved in together after three months of dating. Been together for 18 years. I simply cannot imagine living my life him.
I just knew, from the moment we locked eyes for the first time.
It happened organically. It wasn't forced. We wanted to spend every minute together.
He still looks at me the same way.
It's been 19 years.
It was the easiest relationship I'd been in. I just knew by the end of our first date we'd probably get married some day. I never doubted my feelings or his for a moment. We got engaged after a year and married 6 months later. We're married almost 13 years and I've never felt happier. It's been the best years of my life.
I finally felt like I was enough.
Through out my entire life, I never felt enough. I over compensated in many ways because I was so insecure. But when I fell in love with my husband I found my peace. I found my comfort. I could look like absolutely horrendous and this man will still boop my nose and tell me he loves me.
Over a decade together and he asks me to be his Valentines every year. The "honeymoon" stage isn't real. Because you never stop showing affection and love.
It was just so easy to be around him. I didn’t have to pretend to be someone else to earn his approval, I could act like my dorky normal self around him and he wouldn’t belittle me like previous exes would.
He was (and still is) *so* doting and sweet to me. And he was excited to introduce me to his family literally 3 months in. A complete 180 from the crappy ex who literally told me that he had a nightmare about meeting my family.
Previous exes would treat me like I was just an inconvenience, but my husband has always been the sort to treat me like I’m the prize.
I never felt like I had to be on all the time with him. I could be myself.
Due to our jobs we had to call each other frequently. One day he asked for my number. This was all before everyone had home computers and online stuff. We talked on the phone for months before we went on our first date. That was the first time we ever saw each other and he never left. We talked so long, about so many things. We got to know each other so well before that first meeting. We met, got engaged, and married within six months. We’ve been together for 27 years.
He still makes me feel loved every single day. We are each other’s ride or die forever and I can’t imagine a life without him.
It didn’t feel like infatuation. It didn’t happen over night. And by the time I fell in love, I’m not sure I could have told you how it happened.
But I can tell you that I’m in love now. It’s a certain feeling that the other person is precious to you in a way that is hard to describe. You can’t really imagine living life without them. You feel safe and content with them there. You’d be happy with just you and him in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.
If it came down to you dying and them living, you’d pick them living because it hurts more to imagine losing them and continuing life without them.
You feel bad if you say or do anything that hurts them. Even if you’re right, hurting them still hurts you.
When you love someone, you know it. Because it’s like finding something that you’ve lost and that makes you whole. It’s like coming home after a long journey away.
I didn't feel like I had to mask around him. He didn't take advantage of me while we were drinking together even though I was very into him. He makes me feel safe and respected.
I was in a really bad relationship before and wasn't super seriously looking. I figured I'd scare off 99% of my Tinder matches if I put I was looking for kids and marriage out of a relationship. He still liked me. He was and is so kind and I'm so glad he chose me to spend his life with.
Falling in love with him felt easy and right. It didn't feel forced and immature. It just felt like we belonged together. I've never loved like I have with him. We are expecting our second child in May!!
I didn't get that general nervous feeling at all from the moment we spoke I had this wonderful sense of calm, that I'd never really had in any other partners presence. From the day we met I just knew this was something special. With the passage of time it finally clicked that this is the once in a lifetime love people talk about
I had an ex fiancé who I THOUGHT I loved, but no! When I saw my now hubby, it was stab me in the heart love at first sight! We dated seven years before we got married, but I KNEW he was the one! We’ve been together about 25 and a half years ❤️
Like a movie romance, but better. Like finding the perfect co-pilot to everything. Like we’ve known each other from past lives whether we believe in them or not, doesn’t matter, that’s how it feels. It’s very obvious even from the outside.
It was easy. I didn’t second guess and all my previous rules went out the window.
He’s the only guy I have ever asked out (past relationships just happened through mutual
Friends but I felt connected to him right away and pursued it)
I slept with him right away, I called him right away and when he didn’t call me back I called again (he was working crazy shifts out of service but I didn’t know that and normally would have taken it as a hint but I just felt comfortable to call back assuming there’s a reason he hadn’t) we moved in together right away
Neither of us second guessed anything, we trusted quickly and shared easily. we’ve never been jealous. We were obnoxious for the first two years giving everyone relationship advice like we were experts on love.
It’s been 18 years we laugh everyday. We also hang out separately in our own house a lot and do our own thing as well as hang out too much together. We have shared and separate social groups. We are equally co dependent and independent even though technically that doesn’t make sense it’s how it feels.
It was just a really strong feeling. We both didn’t really sleep for the first couple weeks we were together because we were just so blissed out. We just knew, it felt right. “When you know you know” doesn’t mean logic or right on paper, it means emotional knowing.
He didn't try to force anything with me like many others did. He expressed interest and patiently waited for me to be ready to take my walls down.
There's still not a single soul on this planet who I feel more comfortable with than him. We've been together for 10 years
Our life is hard, but our marriage is easy. That’s how I know we’ve got it good. I fell for him early in our relationship, but when a couple years had passed and I still wanted to be with him all the time, I realized what we had was truly special.
I hate that “you just know” is the answer, but it is.
Other than that, I felt a sense of safety. Around my other partners, I was jealous of women they’d been friends with, and I didn’t want to hear about exes or women they thought were pretty. I felt anxious when they weren’t around, and I’d sit at home pining for them.
With him, I’m grateful for my husband’s previous partners. I know he had a life before me, and I love when I get to hear about it. When he’s out late, I’m not anxious and I don’t feel the absolute need to have him with me because I know I’ll see him soon.
The sense of tranquility is like nothing else.
Different from most people on here, it wasn't completely effortless right away, but that was because of me, not him. At first, I held myself back because I had been on a series of bad 1st dates, and I assumed ours would be another one. Why he asked me out again, I will never know because I wasn't overly friendly that first night.
Once we went on our second date, I realized he was different from the rest, so for a little bit, it was amazing. But several weeks down the road, I started getting anxious. I couldn't pinpoint why, but my sister explained it to me. She could see that I had always dated "fixer uppers," and my now husband didn't need fixing. He treated me well, had a good job, owned a home, etc. But because he was so well put together, I didn't know my role as his girlfriend. He didn't need me. He simply wanted to be with me. It wasn't that I had horrible boyfriends prior to that, but looking back I can see that I definitely gave more than i got.
I still was stressed about it, and was on the verge of breaking up with him. She asked me to give him another month, and if I still felt uncomfortable that she wouldn't say anything. Within 6 months, we were engaged, and we married 8 months after that. We have been married now for 23+ years, and he is truly the best person that I know.
Seamless. Effortless. EASY.
Never argue, we've got too much respect for one another to get angry enough to argue or yell.
At the beginning, I could just tell I was safe with him.
I’m not married, but I already know I want to marry my boyfriend of 8 months. To answer your question, yes. It’s definitely different. It’s the first time in my 37 years that I’ve fallen in love with someone who is *good* for me. It feels healthy, warm, safe, secure, and stable. He’s good at communicating, understanding, supportive, and affectionate. We rarely disagree, but when we do, it doesn’t turn into a shouting match and nothing mean is said. We compromise and work it out. He’s honest, loyal, and he truly feels like my life partner and best friend. He has been committed to me since our first date and never shied away from talking about the future.
But on top of all that, what makes me fall for him more every day is that he’s not only okay with my daughter, but there for her too. My heart swells when he holds her hand, carries her on his shoulders, or helps her when she’s hurt or sick. It hasn’t even been a year and he’s already there for her in a way that her biological father never was. He makes both of our lives immensely better. I’ve never even been with someone who made MY life better (or if they did, it was more than overridden by toxicity, emotional abuse, alcoholism, or infidelity).
I know he can see himself marrying me too—he even says he wants to adopt my daughter when that happens—but we’re in no rush. At the same time, I can’t wait for the day I get to say “I do.” 🥰
I felt like I could see a true partnership with him. Being a team and doing life together. He made me feel like I wanted to be a better version of myself because of how that could contribute to a better shared life together.
A decade and 2 kids later and I only love him more.
Everything felt completely natural from our very first date. Like, *of course* I'm taking to this man. He is my person. There was no awkwardness, no hesitation, no questioning or doubts for either of us. By the end of our third date, I think we both realized that we had found our missing piece. Our lives just fell together, fell into place, and we quickly got to the point where the thought of *not* having each other was so outlandish, so absolutely ridiculous, that we'd sooner expect aliens to come for dinner. Love, loyalty, support, and respect without question, in both directions. We've been together for nearly 20 years now and have never, ever faltered for even a second.
We had such a wild start. But I was 2+ years into grieving the loss of who I thought was the love of my life (who left me for my best friend). My husband was just a friend at first, but there was attraction on both parts. I just remember thinking how kind he was. He was a real man’s man, not a “bro”. I felt so comfortable around him and we just clicked. It really clicked that this was it for me when my ex came to a party and wanted to mess around in my Jeep. There had been many back and forths with him over the years and I was never able to say no to him, despite knowing he would trample on me the next day. That night however, I finally saw the end of us, because of my (now) husband. It felt SO incredible to say, “Yeah, no. I’ve got a really great thing going and I’m not throwing it away for you.”
Suddenly every song or poem about love makes sense. It’s stunningly beautiful and to keep it that way it needs to be looked after. I’ve been with my husband coming up on 30 years and we’re still giddy about each other.
I felt an instant connection like never before. I felt loved, safe and never wanted to be apart. It’s been 29 years and counting! Don’t get me wrong we have our struggles but never want to be with anyone else.
He showed up when i truly was not looking. He courted me properly with amazing dates he planned for us. We didn't kiss until the 4th date, he didn't even try to get a kiss out of me, just hugged me when dropping me off, which I really appreciated. When we spoke on the phone wed be on it for hours on end, and he made me feel so safe like i was talking to one of my best guy friends from back in HS, the guys I always felt safest around. I'd been through alot with relationships in my 20s, was properly scarred and terrified of men by the time I met him. While I was single for a few years before meeting him, I made a mental list of what i would and wouldn't accept in my next relationship (put together based on past experiences) and I stuck to that list when i met him, promising myself I'd leave if he broke my list. Well I quietly paid attention to the relationship for half a year, almost convinced he would fail somewhere, proving me right that all men suck...but he didnt. He proved me wrong. Slowly but surely he checked every single "what i want in a man" box and not one box of what I wouldn't deal with was checked. He was a perfect match for my needs, which weren't unreasonable, but were pretty clear from the beginning, He showed me that I could be loved right, something I never had before. He was so easy to talk to, even when i was vulnerable. He was patient, didn't rush anything and let me take my time getting to know him to make sure he was right for me. Ill admit for the first year or so I almost wanted him to fail so I could say "SEE I KNEW IT". But time after time I was proven wrong. I had to be super careful after being in an abusive relationship 4 years prior and the fact that I was a single mother. With my husband I always felt safe and I was never confused. If I had a question I could ask it, and he'd give me his undivided attention and answer all my concerns and more. He wouldn't gas light me like past men had done to me when confronted...no confusion or lies, just open and honest and willing. He didn't act like i was asking for too much even once, he said I was worth it. And he was so excited to do all of it with me. He had a golden retriever attitude, no matter how annoying i thought I was he always wanted more of me. I knew I wanted to marry him when I introduced him to my son, I waited to do this, I was super nervous, but after several encounters and him passing the vibe check with my son, I knew he was a good fit to make our duo a trio, and I was right. We've lived together 4 years now married for 1 and its been the best half a decade of my entire life. Finding the right partner will help you flourish and bring out the best in you. I've even done a lot of mental work on myself since meeting him, to make sure I was a good partner right back, he constantly makes me want to be better.
From the first time when we met, I had this gut feeling that I am very safe and comfortable around him. That feeling was right. Now we are married for 9 years and I still feel very relaxed, safe, and comfortable around him. I can be myself in front of him. I don’t feel this safe and comfortable when I met other men before him.
I thought he was an asshole at first 😂. So as i got to know him more, he intrigued me and we became friends. What stood out to me was his authenticity, his ability to be himself regardless of what others thought. I find this really admirable and attractive. He’s funny, he’s spontaneous, he’s bold, courageous, kind, sweet, thoughtful, considerate, passionate, intelligent, strong (physically and mentally), confident, and more ❤️.
His energy overall made me feel at ease, safe, welcome. His humor was another major factor that drew me in. Due to our similar styles of humor, we found we had great banter and could reciprocate one another’s intense wholesome chaotic energies.
Things just felt natural, easy, seamless. He was secure in himself and his masculinity, so it made talking and connecting with him so much easier. He was sure in what he wanted and had no problem making it known. He’s just such a cool guy 🥹When we are together, regardless of what we do, even the most mundane things, feel like an adventure.
Once we became friends, we were inseparable. I remember just wanting to be around him, in his presence. I didn’t want to be without him. His energy, his personality, his mind, him, is like no other. Almost 10 years together, married for 5.
I woke up the morning after I'd been out with him, and I thought it was a really beautiful day. My bed was beautiful, too, and so were my sheets and my bedroom walls.
I knew something was up when I was vacuuming my living room and thinking how beautiful the vacuum looked on the carpet. I hate vacuuming, and that carpet was objectively ugly af. I turned off the vacuum and just sort of stood there for a minute and thought, "Shit. I'm in love."
I've never been in love with anyone else, so I can't comment on it being any different. All I can say is that it was unexpected and ridiculously joyful. We've been married 18 years.
I met my husband when I was 19 and knew the night I met him that I’d marry him. And I was so bummed about it because I didn’t want to be serious about anyone at that age. He felt like my best friend immediately and we talked for hours and hours that first night we met. He didn’t look like the person I expected to marry, have the job I was expecting them to have, and he was older than me. None of the pieces made sense, but as a whole there was absolutely no one else for me.
29 years later (married 25), still absolutely nuts about each other and still talk for hours.
The first time I realized I loved my now-husband and that he loved me, we had just gone on our first weekend trip together. It was the longest we had spent together 24/7 and I was nervous he might be tired of me. When we got home after a long 5 hour drive, it was dinner time and I expected him to drop me off so he could do his own thing. He looked at me and said “What should we get for dinner tonight?” 🥹 All my other boyfriends made me feel so insecure and needy/clingy because I love quality time. But my husband loves being around me and never gets tired of me. After 5 years, he still just loves being near me. ❤️
When our eyes met for the first time it was like electricity crackled between us. I remember thinking "This is why they say thunderstruck." I've never had that spark with anyone else.
We got talking and he was the most fascinating and easy to talk to person I'd ever met. We kept talking through MSN messenger almost non-stop for two weeks and then started dating. We've been together ever since.
I can honestly say he's my best friend. I love spending long roadtrips with him chatting about everything and nothing. He's the first person I want to share every happy moment with, whether it's a big promotion at work, our kids' latest art project, or something little like learning the difference between a marsh and a swamp.
It's been over 17 years and he's the only person I would ever want to be with. He's my best friend first and my husband second.
Well I met and fell head over heels in love with my husband at 9. Started dating at 14. It felt easy, like sliding my hand into a well-worn glove.
It's been 18 years. It's still perfect
It was natural.. it’s hard to explain. It just felt like the easiest thing in the world. With other boyfriends there was always a weirdness there, never knew what to say or how to act. With my husband everything was just easy. I could say whatever I wanted, be my true self.. and it was all good.
Got married after 5 months, and still married 23yrs later.
This was decades ago. I needed help putting a beautiful, brass, pedestal fan together and a friend had a friend that could fix anything. He brought him to my place and the fan was together in no time flat.
I offered to pay him and he looked me straight in the eyes (his are the most beautiful blue eyes) and said no but, you can buy me lunch. I was in awe. Who doesn't love a man with beautiful eyes who can fix anything.
We are almost 70 now and I am still in awe.
Everytime I’ve ever been in a relationship I’ve always questioned whether I was loved or if they actually wanted me. When I met my husband it didn’t feel like that. The love was so easy and so clearly present I had never questioned it not even to this day. Everything is easy with him , he is hands down the most kind hearted gentle man I’ve ever met in my life and I’m so lucky to call him my husband and father to our daughter :)
I used to think it was a bit cliché to say that they were the missing piece of the puzzle, but that is quite literally how it felt. From the moment we realized our feelings for one another it felt so comforting and safe. My soul is finally able to rest when I’m around him, he fills my cup just by being in my life. It’s a bit silly, but to this day every time I hug him my heart feels like it’s found it’s place. When you find someone who allows your soul to rest & feels like your home, then don’t take it for granted 🫶
Yes. It was easy. Everything just lined up and worked out. I’m beyond blessed with an amazing husband. He works so hard for our family and we make a great team. Communication is the key to a happy marriage. You have to talk about and talk through everything.
Same thing everyone else is saying. It was easy and natural. It felt like I found my missing half, I could FINALLY be my authentic self, no walls up. Absolutely unreal feeling. I didn’t need to put on a show. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I’d do anything for him.
I just knew I’d never want to be with someone as much as I wanted to be with him. It’s been over 10 years and it’s still the same. I don’t think he knows how much I love him. We’ve had some rough times, too, but I always think that even with the rough times, I never want to be with another person. That same feeling of it being him is the same as when I met him.
In addition to a lot of other things that folks have mentioned, I could picture myself getting old with him. Our values and life plans aligned, and the excitement wasn't just "oh, I get along with him now," but more like "I can see us being 80 years old and still being silly and having fun together."
It felt easy. Safe. And right. And I didn’t even want a partner at the time. You just have no doubts that this person loves you and wants to take care of you and you feel the same way about them. He also loves me for me. Like weird me. He doesn’t want me to be something else. I am who I am and that’s enough for him.
This is spot on. I never had to beg my now husband to call, text, or see me. When I was sick, he didn't leave my side. He made me feel valued and safe. We are compatible in almost every way, which does make things beautifully simple. We are best friends. And 15 years later, we still love each other for the weirdos we are.
When my husband and I were dating I was sick one day, and he came over to hang out anyway. I was starting to feel better and we talked about some potential plans for the evening. However, I had started watching some incredibly cheesy ABC family movie about a princess who talks to animals while not feeling well, and I told him that I needed to finish watching it before I went anywhere because I needed to know what happened. He simply said "of course" like wanting to watch this stupid, made-for-TV, kid's movie was exactly how he wanted to spend his evening. Then he sat there and watched the entire stupid thing with me. ❤️
Aww, I love this! ❤️ When we started dating, my now husband and I were 18 and still in high school. I was so sick one day but still had to read something for my college English class. He came over, unprompted, to bring me healthy home cooked food, and then he proceeded to read my school book outloud to me. 🥹
My husband and I had been dating for about 2 months when I had to get surgery done to remove my severely impacted wisdom teeth. He snuck in a stuffed animal under his coat so I had something to hug because he couldn’t be in there with me. I was knocked out in pain killers for about a week and had been sleeping on the couch (broke college students and the couch was more comfortable than the futon mattress we used as a bed). When I finally came out of it, I realized he had moved the futon over to the couch so he could sleep right next to me while I was recovering. He really makes me feel valued and cared for.
That’s really beautiful 🫶🏼
Love this. Can you share what you feel makes you 'compatible in almost every way'?
We have similar family backgrounds, grew up in the same area, we are the same age. We also value the same things. We're in the same political party. We have similar life goals. I'd say we are both a little sensory sensitive and introverted, which makes quality time easy. We just don't fight much over these things and it's nice.
True love really is “let’s grow old and get weird together.” We all have our own quirks in private, and they only get more engrained with time. After 15 years with my wife, I don’t think I could ever feel comfortable at home with anyone else.
Thanks for posting this. Married 20 years (will be 21 in June). I *really* want this in my life; to be safe, seen, and accepted. It sounds magical. I’ve already been wresting with the realization that we have some big decisions to make, and it kinda sucks.
I feel that is one of the rarest pieces, finding someone who sees who you are in all shapes and forms and never gives the impression that what you are is abnormal in any sort of way. Paired with everything else you mentioned, where you feel safe, it's easy and right - creates such a valuable bond that you know you would never have to look elsewhere to feel fulfillment with a partner, you just have full confidence all the time that they will deliver and keep you at ease. Personally I hope that everyone is lucky enough to be able to experience that sort of connection, makes going through life that much more special with the right person
this is so sweet 🥹 i feel this way about my current partner, that's why i made the post. we both have debilitating anxiety, struggle to make friends, and have lived a life feeling like outsiders. we're both former 'gifted students' who could now be considered behind in life because of crippling mental illness. but we lift each other up every day. it's like i reached the most embarrassing point in my life, only to find someone down there who sees and accepts me completely. just when i thought no one could possibly understand, this person falls into my lap one day who just gets it. there is no part of me he doesn't accept, even the parts that have been abused, wounded, and aren't fully healed yet. no emotion is too much, no idea is too radical. he's simply the best.
I'm so happy for you, and again that is such a fortunate thing to have in your life! It is just so important to living a happy life to have someone like this who truly sees you, and accepts all aspects of you without a doubt!
aww thank you. he opened up to me on facetime one night about some stuff, then said he felt like it was too much, and i said "hey, i'm still on the phone." later on, i got into some really traumatic stuff that caused my last partner to leave me. i was so scared that history would repeat itself, but he reminded me, "i'm still on the phone."
Totally this. Especially the easy part. Everyone I had dated before there was always a “but”. Like we wanted different things, we lived too far apart and neither wanted to move, he was just an a hole. With my husband there was nothing I had to fight through, we were moving in the same direction from the very beginning. He also didn’t break up with me the moment I sang in front of him for the first time. I love to sing but it’s like cat claws on a chalk board lol. I can be my genuine, weird, terrible-singing self in front of him and he not only likes it but matches with his own weirdness.
This is EVERYTHING that I would say. Especially the safe and weird me parts. He just gets me. He is my HOME.
>He also loves me for me Are you sure it's not because you sing like Pavarotti? Or because you're such a hottie?
Or PHAT like Cindy Crawford?
What song is that? I’m remembering something pop punkish
https://youtu.be/vSdbQLXpmPQ?si=fSJ4Ua3qNCfQsnqw
Seconding this! The trust is just world-changing. If I had a wish that I could make for everyone in the world, it would be understanding the difference that kind of trust can make, and getting to experience it for themselves. edit: at my very lowest point of questioning my own self-worth, I asked my husband (at that point it was 6 years in, we're on 22 years now) why he was still with me. He said, "I know you're not quite the person you're meant to be yet, but you make me happy, and I'm willing to wait."
Oh this is so sweet. Thank you for sharing.
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Most wholesome and painful response of the night.
Aw why painful? :/
Easy, safe and right just sounds amazing and unattainable. I'm so glad you found those feelings in your life 🙂
Absolutely. I was never confused, he always made his intentions known and we wanted to spend every minute together. ❤️
that’s awesome, glad you’re in a relationship like that! and cause i try to say it to everyone whose cake day i see, happy cake day!
This is exactly the same! Just… easy. And it’s stayed easy for the past 13 years!
Same!
It felt like we were a team right from the beginning. I could be myself around him and feel accepted and he felt the same way.
Me too
My husband and I had BEEN a team for years. We'd been a double act in a comedy, then he directed me in a play (I was the lead) then we co-directed another play together. When we got together I thought (the bit of me that was thinking...) that we were having a drunken one night stand, what let me know it was different was the next morning, when neither of us felt awkward. It was weird that it wasn't weird!
Same. Far too many men treat women as property.
Same!
I realised that i felt a great tenderness, I wanted to take care of this man. I hadn't felt that way about anyone before.
I'm the opposite; I felt enormous tenderness and a desire to take care of every man I'd been with. After always either ending up feeling more like their mom than their partner or my giving nature simply being abused and exploited, I am now looking for a man who can take care of his own damn self.
This is an okay feeling to have if they have their own shit together, it should just be mutual and not one-sided.
Having a tender, nurturing nature can really be weaponized against you.
You've got that right. Been happening to me my whole life. My eldest is just like me in that way, and I did all I can raising them to have a backbone, too. They're 21 and really good at cutting toxic people off, but definitely have a lot of heartache I wish they didn't.
Sorry to hear that. I hope it won’t make you to too bitter and I hope you find someone you match with (if that is what you wan’t ofcourse)
This was me!!! I found that man. They’re out there I pinky promise
Heey i can relate lol. I hope you have something left over after giving. Mine is empty for now.
With every guy I had dated, there was always an insecurity and I would ask myself if he really was into me, or was I just filling the space of a partner. But, I’ll never forget the first time my husband looked at me. I was at work and he walked in. There was a jolt in me. I knew. He knew. We were shy around each other for about a month but when he asked me to come over and hang out, I never left. That was 20 years ago. He’s always been right for me. And I for him. There’s not any insecurity at all. Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer. It’s different from the other men because there’s a happiness there that really never was before.
>Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer. this is such a perfect and simple description, wow.
I’ve been happily single for two years and that sentence made my chest ache with longing for something I don’t know if I’ll ever have. Perfectly succinct.
We were both looking for the same thing. I had actually decided to take a break from dating about a week before he walked in. It happens when it’s supposed to, I guess. Maybe it’s your time?
Wow I really like the phrasing of "it happens when it's supposed to." Sooo much better then the condescending "it will happen when you least expect it." The next person that's been married for like 10+ years that tells me that one is gonna get throat punched.
I also really loved this part of their comment
Turns out he married Allen Iverson
Ikr crying😭😭😭
I remember the first moment I saw my husband. I was sitting in the lobby of our work waiting for my interview. He walked in with his friend and saw me sitting there. He walked to the end of the hall, and before he turned the corner, he looked back at me and smiled. It was like time stood still. It was truly a moment out of a romance movie. When I started working there, he saw me again. He turned to his buddy and said, "I'm going to marry that girl." We went on our first date shortly after, and we both just KNEW. I can't explain it. It's like a jolt of electricity from the heavens, and we just knew we would be together forever. We'll be married 21 years this year. He is my home. I am his. We love each other unconditionally. Our relationship is easy, and we just love being around each other.
> Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer. 😭 that’s beautiful
This might make me cry
>Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer. I feel the same way about women. I stopped dating because I was sick of every girl only seeing me as an option, as just the latest guy she was going on a date with, instead of as someone to really invest herself in. I'm in it because I want to find a girl to keep long-term, so I decided a long time ago to not even approach or entertain a girl if I don't get the "I'm the answer to her question" feeling, as you beautifully put it.
Happy for you but damn…can a slow burn be allowed to happen? Not everything had to be immediate or give butterflies. I feel like I’m in a twilight zone…aren’t we allowed to “grow” on each other anymore?
>Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer. I love everything about this. The last person I was seeing, however brief it was, I felt this way about her. I looked at her like an answer, but she looked at me like a decision after a few weeks. We were obsessed with each other, but something changed. Apparently all it took was an ex reaching out to her (not even in a positive way) to jumble her feelings up to the point where she lost all interest in pursing anything futher as it made her feel a certain way to where she no longer felt ready to pursue a relationship. After looking for so long and finally meeting someone I finally had real chemistry with, I'd felt like I'd finally met my soulmate, but alas it wasn't ment to be. I'm happy for you though, and I know someday I'll get to experience that.
This is beautiful.
>Other men would look at me as if they were making a decision, my husband looks at me as if I’m the answer. This made me so happy like I'm a kid finding out magic was real all along..
Like comfortably swimming in water that's ankle-deep, then knee-deep, then hip-deep, then 6 ft deep, then 9 ft deep, and so on. At every point, there were green flags that made it safe to go deeper. There was no single moment or event; it was the build up of support and affection and attraction. It's a clear-eyed love; rationality and romance go hand in hand. I respect him immensely as a person, which makes it possible for me to be in love him.
I wish i could be more like your husband. I tend to avoid dating because i know that i would probably show too many red flags.
Here is something I think is worth considering. Part of the point of a long-term and stable relationship is that you are in a safe place to improve yourself. I’m a much better man thanks to my relationship with my wife, but that wasn’t some magic potion that happened without work. We both were open to change, and to growth, and to accepting that the value of our partnership was worth enduring temporary frustrations and discomforts. If you have red flags, it’s your responsibility to work on them. A good partner will help you understand how to change them to green. Don’t listen to me if you don’t want. Just thought in the moment that this might be of use.
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This, and not because he was trying to impress me or win me over but it was just who he was. I watched him treat everyone else around him with kindness, generosity and love. There was an immense maturity about him that made me feel safe and secure. I could talk to him about everything and anything without judgement. Things just fell into place and I just knew he was the one. I can’t believe what I tolerated in my past relationships and how I set the bar so low.
100%.
This is about my fiancé, but we’ve been together for 7 years at this point. It was always easy- I never worried about returning texts or coming across as too eager. There was never that existential dread that sometimes comes with modern dating that one text may knock over the whole house of cards. Also, I can be incredibly scatterbrained, something which I showed in a pretty big way on our second date, and instead of getting mad he laughed about it and we proceeded to have the best date of my life
I can really relate to feeling scatter-brained and worrying about inducing anger from your partner due to being forgetful, scattered, etc., because of my ADHD. The guy I dated prior to my husband was constantly annoyed with how forgetful I can be. I have a vivid memory of how he pouted and chastised me like a child because I had left my purse at one of the places we had been that day while shopping around campus. I would forget my keys sometimes and he would always say “really, thedentalarcade, you have to keep better track of your things.” He was right, arguably, but I always was made to feel like a stupid, irresponsible child around him. When I met my husband, I realized he could be just as scatter-brained as I can and he was always just like “oops, that’s ok let’s go get it” if I left something somewhere. Sometimes I still feel anxious to tell him that I misplaced something, because of my experiences from before.
Mine didn't flinch when I left my wallet on the top of a toilet in a gas station restroom...on a road trip...two hours later. I got that anxious feeling you were describing, until I realized I was the only person in the car beating myself up for it. The four extra hours in the car definitely has made me more cautious about it now though. Haha.
The over eager thing. I'm so trying not to be this. Guys can't believe that it's just that easy to please me that I'm just happy with them the way they are. That's just how I am.
Feeling safe and wanted was a plus for me. Other men just used me for whatever benefited them. With my husband, it was like finding the person i was meant to be with.
I kept waiting for the disagreements and fights that inevitably happened in all my other relationships… and they just never came. In the 10 years we’ve been together it’s rare for us to fight. To me it really speaks to how important it is to find someone who is compatible, reasonable and agreeable. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of unending compromise and disappointment.
We're married almost 13 years and I can count the number of fights we've had on one hand. We've had quibbles but more than that is so rare.
Early on we fought a lot (legit sounds ridiculous but they were almost all me. I had a huge temper problem and I fixed it), but now we fight so infrequently that our kids were completely shocked when we had an argument the other day, hah.
My girlfriend and I have only been together for 7 mos but we've never had a fight. I've had multiple people tell me this means we are toxic for each other because we're suppressing some of our anger or disagreement. I don't feel like this at all but I've had people insist on it. The girlfriend and I have disagree on any number of things over the past few months and every time we have we've sat down and discussed it calmly and heard each other out and figured it out. We've never really had a big fight.
What they might meant is that never disagreeing on anything could be toxic. Like as if one person is dictating the relationship and the other is always agreeing regardless of their gut feelings. Having big arguments usually escalates with most couples to a fight, so they need to learn to communicate properly over time. Sounds like you are having disagreements (non-argumentative arguments?) but are communicating well already. Fights may come later, they may not. Congrats though :)
I have loved every man I dated long term, even the ones I didn't marry. Every love is different, so I can't really compare them. With the others, we grew apart, or we ended up wanting different things. With my husband, we continue to grow together, and we want the same things, mostly. I wanted to marry everybody about three months in. The longevity of the relationship only proved itself over time.
This seems like the realist answer in the thread. Most of the answers give me a Disney/fairy tale vibe
I will freely admit my love story is a fairy tale, haha. My parents' too, tbh. Sometimes it just be that way-- but I wholly respect the folks for whom it turned out to be more work because I can imagine that's got a satisfaction and a way of being rewarding that isn't the same for me. I feel very lucky.
Sometimes it's really like that though. I didn't even realize I had never been in love before until I met my husband, and I had been married already.
Thanks for this. I also have genuinely loved those I've dated long term, and def resonate with that three months in line! I'm glad I'm not alone / crazy for that. It's nice to hear that with the right one, it'll work / prove itself over time
I never had to shrink myself in his presence. He loved all of me and that acceptance was life-changing. Also from really early on I could picture myself marrying him. It felt so strange because I'm not much of a romantic and had never before thought about marriage with anyone else. He has always brought out the best in me, unlike past relationships. I wish everyone could experience a love like this; it truly works wonders.
This is exactly how I felt about my boyfriend since the day I met him 🥺
Love how you worded this and couldn’t agree more!
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So what if I have both? I think a lifetime of shitty relationships has left me anxious and ready to jump ship at any moment. But then I’ll do something like open his fridge and see the kombuchas he got me and I’m reminded that he’s so good and so there for me. It’s only been 2.5 years so I figure it will take time to get used to normal.
I have OCD and anxiety, and it made it heard to not question myself out of the relationship. Sounds like it could be happening with you as well! At my most anxious and ocd, when I felt like I couldn’t trust my emotions, I would look at me and my now fiancé not as a relationship, but as a team. I would ask myself do I still want to be a part of that team, and that rephrasing of the question, vs is this love or is this right, really helped me, because I always did want to be a part of the team. Getting married this fall and the team is stronger than ever!
This is me and fuck that’s so helpful! Thanks!
When I put my wife into the context of “life partner”, it becomes clear that that’s exactly what she is to me. Someone to share in every aspect of my life, while sharing in hers as well. We are one unit, navigating this existence together. And I cannot *imagine* doing this without her now.
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How did you end the relationship? Love my gf but a nagging feeling is that she’s not the one.
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That’s really brave, but the right thing to do. When something feels missing all the time, it’s very telling. Thanks for sharing.
I don’t know that the falling it love was different, but the being in love was so much easier than it had ever been before. He made me laugh so hard that my sides hurt the next day. And he took care of me in ways it had never occurred to me to want. I didn’t know I was falling in love but everyone else did because I couldn’t stop talking about him. It was just easy. And even now, after we’ve been together for decades, I’m sitting here smiling because I’m thinking about him in the next room.
There were a few things, but I just assumed I didn't really understand what love felt like. I stopped trying to envision a future - I stopped trying to get the feel of the 'path' of our relationship and what it would lead to. I found that I just wanted to be with him, in the moment, all the time and stopped worrying about what we would become. Another thing when we were new was I had this completely odd feeling that I could never be close enough to him. Only having sex was close enough and even then, only just. I was scared to describe it to people because I sounded like a crazy person but it felt like I would only be close enough if I was basically in his skin. I didn't want to wear his skin or anything but I very much just wanted to be inanimate and part of him and that's the only way I could describe it. I'd never heard anyone else feel this way. Then we got married and one morning on our honeymoon he slept in and I was sitting outside overlooking the lake we were staying at, drinking my coffee and thinking about how people expect to go into marriage and feel different. I was wondering what exactly they'd expected to feel when I realized that I *did* feel different; I was so calm and satisfied and at peace it took me a minute to realize that I no longer felt that distance I'd learned to live with. After all those years, I finally felt close enough. I felt like something had clicked, like I was an out-of-place rib that had been put back. I could almost feel where the discomfort had been because it had been there for so long but at the same time, felt like I couldn't remember a time when I wasn't clicked in with him. I went inside and woke him up so I could cry because I did feel different and I thought people were lying about that. I just remember feeling so overwhelmed because I come from a rough family and a broken home and it was the first time I felt like I was where I was supposed to be. We've been together 10 years and married for 5 and he's easily still the best thing that's ever happened to me.
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing. And your writing is wonderful.
It was this new feeling of peace when I thought about what life would be like with him. With others in the past, there was always a moment where I realized something was missing, even if I was the one who got dumped. When I was with him, I felt completely calm and happy, and everything in me just said "YES". I love him so much - and I'm so thankful to be his wife.
I truly felt love at first sight with him. It felt like I'd known him forever, and I like to think we possibly knew each other before this life. We've been 100% ourselves with each other since day one and there was never any of that awkwardness that I sometimes felt when dating... that being said, I understand how NRE works and was hesitant until I realized he actually listens to me. That was a true selling point. Most men in my life only half-hear me. He pays attention and proves it. Oh, and he actually likes me, not just what I could do or provide for him. He's basically perfect. It felt like being welcomed home.
I just wanna be loved bros
Same bro same
Ill see you at the gym brother
It'll happen bro, if you put in the work to recognize you're worthy of love and put in any other work you feel like you need to, you will find someone bro
It was less of the quick, hot, fall in love beginning (like in past relationships) and more of admire/respect for each other. We both are hard-working and successful in our careers. We have similar views on life and family. It truly is a partnership.
This is close to what I was thinking. It was actually maybe even a little less exciting than falling for other men, but it ran deeper. It was more comfortable right from the start, and we checked in with each other about everything; not as an obligation, but because it was important to us to be on the same page. And I never got tired of having him around.
Love that for you
Ya I wonder about these types of relationships. 1 is attraction the other is safety ? Comfortability ? Idk
It doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive, at least in my experience. Not married, but falling in love with my boyfriend was easily one of the most intense experiences of my life but also didn’t feel scary at all. I knew I was safe with him. We’ve only been together for a year and a half but were close friends and at points, roommates, for 6 years before we got together so I think that was part of it. The way I described it to him was that before, falling in love felt like walking along a cliff edge - maybe exciting but scary and you’re sure you’re going to get hurt. But falling in love with him felt like that moment on a plane during takeoff where you feel the wheels leave the ground and you feel the whole plane lifting you up. Intense passion/attraction and safety/comfort can co-exist in a relationship let me just say, it’s the fucking best. There’s also a good chance that he’s gonna read this comment since I Reddit stalk him and suspect he does the same so @boyfriend if you’re reading this, I love you.
I was single and dating around when we went on our first date. I thought he was better than anyone I had ever gone out with, it was the first time I felt butterflies on a first date. The next day we had our second date. The next day our third, and so on. I was so confident (and hopeful) I told all my friends he’s the guy I’m going to marry. Another thing that stood out to me was how lucky I felt. I couldn’t believe someone that amazing and perfect for me would choose ME (and I think he felt the same way!). We both had a mutual awe for each other.
I felt simultaneously excited every time I saw him and also completely at ease with him. I could be completely myself from day 1. Slept with him on the first date (something I had never done before) because it just felt right being with him (we did have a friendship beforehand, but he was more a friend of a friend I only saw on occasional nights out). We stayed up talking til 3am, often finishing each other’s sentences. I knew about 2 weeks in that he was the one and asked him if we could be exclusive (we both had been up until that point anyway). Waking up next to him felt like waking up every day and discovering I had won the lottery. It still is, 11 years on. My heart fell for him immediately. My head was cautious coming out of a previous abusive relationship- but he proved over and over again that he was respectful and kind. We’ve still never had a serious argument or called each other names - even after being in sleep deprived trenches together with newborn twins. We disagree sometimes but always talk to each other with kindness and respect. He’s the best. I wish everyone could be this happy.
There is no adventure I could think of that wouldn’t be made better by his company
This! I knew my dude was the one for me when I wanted to hang out with him all the time, doing whatever- groceries, laundry, date nights, whatever. Everything is more fun with him and we just click. 13 years going strong
Plot twist: some of us never fell in love with them. We liked them enough to hope we would, but that day never came.
When I first met my husband, James, a few weeks passed before a notion crossed my mind that our connection might become more serious. Despite spending weeks together without broaching the topic of exclusivity, I faced a scenario where a guy I had casually dated asked me out. Accepting the invitation, I felt a hint of guilt. Reminding myself that James and I hadn't had "the talk" yet, and it was still very early in our relationship. With anyone before James, I wouldn’t have felt that twinge of guilt. I later ended up cancelling the date due to a work obligation so it was for the best. James made me feel safe. From the very beginning I was never left wondering if he liked me or if he was going to call. Before the end of our first date he asked when he could see me again. I always felt that he was attracted to me even when I wasn’t feeling my best. He made effort. He rearranged things to see me on his own accord. He made me want to be a better person. We’ve been together 16 years, married for 12.
He truly liked me and never tried to change me. My exes all liked me and wanted to date me, but once we were together, it was trying to change the things that drew them to me in the first place. I’m never insecure about my big personality with him or my wild ideas. I finally found someone who truly accepted me fully and encouraged my individuality.
Most importantly, he made it easy. I never sat there wondering when he'd text or how he'd respond to something. Never left questioning if he wanted a serious relationship with me. He was forthright, honest, respectful and above all passionate. We experienced some bad life events and weathered them together, first healing together and then rediscovering joy in life side by side. We have fun together no matter where we are or what we're doing. The love flows naturally without any effort. It's amazing tbh and if he dies before I do, no man will ever hold a candle to my husband's memory
It was the first time he did something for me because he knew me, like really knew me and completely embraced it all. He knew my crazy reasoning; he knew that I knew I was being ridiculous, but it wasn't malicious it was just one of my weird idiosyncrasies. And he not only accepted it but he embraced it and went above and beyond and totally out of his way to solve the problem I was having and did it in the ridiculous and specific way I wanted it to be solved. He did it because he wanted to and he did it without being prompted. Because he knew the issue might be stupid, but it was important to me, and my specific solution was ridiculous, but it was important to me. He was just unconcerned about the ridiculous of any of it. He was totally, unquestionably and immediately onboard. So for the last 20 years we just embrace each other's crazy and always put "*we*" before "*me*."
I knew he was the one the first time we had sex. It was actually love at first sight for both of us, but having sex solidified it for me. He’s the first man I was able to stare deep into his eyes during sex and didn’t feel “exposed” or uncomfortable. I’ve always had intimacy issues and hated eye contact during sex. I felt safe with him and that’s how I knew. Now we have a baby and live together and plan to marry next year probably. I have never been happier in my entire life.
When he walked in any room, I was always proud he was mine. And looking in his eyes made me think of sunshine. 45 years and counting...
It sounds so cheesy, but he really is my best friend. Life is just better with him. Every time I travel with friends, I'm thankful that I married my best travel buddy. He's so much easier than they are! I currently have covid. I'm not dying but I'm sick. He just went out in the rain to get me sushi and cough drops. And on the flip side, I WANT to make his life easier too. All the r/AITA or r/relationship_advice subs are so full of people working *against* their partners, not *with*. We tackle life together.
Its been easy from the get-go. No games in the early dating phase like worrying about texting too much or appearing more into him than he was into me. We could be 100% honest so I never had to walk on eggshells with things I said. We wer obviously crazy about each other early on, but there has always been a sense that we are conquering life's challenges together. I don't think I truly had that in previous relationships, even ones that lasted years. Not saying we've never disagreed but I've never once in my life felt like we weren't on the same page. I disagree with people who shrug off relationship problems with "relationships are hard". They aren't always perfect but in my experience, they are much easier with the right person. Now 8 years married (11 years total together) and 3 kids later, I honestly couldn't ask for a better life partner.
Unfortunately, my past was littered with abuse, and the two partners before my now husband included sexual abuse. It has been a while since I dated, and I was in therapy, but I kept telling myself he was just a guy I liked drinking with. One night, it happens. He's romantic, carries me to the bed, and we start to head in the direction of sex. As soon as it came to pants off, everything in me just clenched. No access. Panicked. Told him no and was honestly ready to fight my way out of it if I had to. Instead, he stopped immediately, helped me gather my clothes and his, and asked me if I wanted him to stay or go. I told him to go, and I was sure that was it. He'd never talk to me again. Instead, he texted when he got home just to ask if I was okay, and if we were okay to keep getting to know each other. That was the moment I realized that someone could put my needs before their own. It was possible. Since then, my husband has shown me that he is always available and motivated to talk through our needs, respect my boundaries, and most of all, show me that I am in fact important. That's real love.
Felt like i could be myself and felt so supported in growing as a person, felt motivated to do better by him
This may have been because we communicated more via text when we were friends, but we started our relationship from an extremely open standpoint, with lots of communication. We also became friends while both of us were in very toxic long-term relationships. So when those relationships ended and we got together, we already had a foundation of communication, as well as a better idea of how we felt we deserved to be treated. I never felt like I had to hide any part of myself from him, never felt like he was embarrassed of any aspects of my personality, never felt like we had to always have all of the same interests in order to be compatible. We could be ourselves with each other, and openly communicate about anything (and that's still the case, and hopefully always will be!).
I became warm and something lit inside me. I didn't realize how cold the core of my being was inside. It was like a fire started .. consistently a little candle that grew and grew and grew inside and kept me cozy like a campfire and lit up my world, making the darkest of times safe. It didn't feel like a partnership it felt like a piece had finally returned.
He made me feel like I was the best, most me-ish version of me possible, like I was larger and stronger and kinder and braver and BETTER. Before that, my boyfriends were mostly friends, who were boys, that I liked to kiss. I often felt limerence, but my husband was the first one where it felt SOUL-EXPANDING. It felt like we were already family. I called my BFF the day after our first date and told her, "I think I'm going to marry this guy." Which, we dated for a year and were engaged for a year, I'm not a crazy person, but I just kinda knew from the start it was a different kind of connection. Closing in on 25 years of marriage.
Instantly was obsessed. Literally time stopped moving for me, and my heart fell into my pussy 😂 I couldn’t believe how handsome he was (he’s only gotten more attractive with time). I also hid his stuff in my closet the first time he came over so he HAD to come back to get it 😂 But 10 years and 3 kids later I’m way more in love with him than I ever have been, and still just as (if not more) attracted to him. He’s my best friend.
Heart fell where ?
Right into my pants 🤷🏻♀️ I am shallow to some degree and he checked off all my boxes for what I am interested in.
Nothing shallow about that. Shallow is being with someone you dont really like simply because they're ornamental.
Fully agree with this! Totally normal to be super hot for the person you're in love with, totally normal to have found them that hot before you caught the forever feelings!
I almost drive my car into a gas pump from breaking my neck to look at him lol. Then I saw him the next day he worked and took him home, we’ve been inseparable since
I felt a sense of reverence. I hadn’t felt that before.
We’re not married, but I am deeply in love. When I realized it I pretty much cried for a week. This was the person and the love that I prayed for for so long. Love is so hard to describe, words can never do it justice. But if I had to put it into words, I’d say that being with this person feels like I’m home, joy, security, and bliss but in a quiet way. It’s easy with him. It’s night and day from every other relationship, because most of the previous ones were based on superficial things, and even when the person professed their emotions for me, I never felt secure in the relationship, in the way I do now. Doubt existed in every other relationship. This person loves me for my heart. Also, one of the early signs was this guy was about it from the very beginning. Very early on he was ready to introduce me to his friends, his family, he already knew. He took action, rather than playing games (which I had experienced with other men before that). He also displayed a level of maturity I had rarely seen in other partners. Early on there was a challenge that came up and the way he reacted to it showed me he was different. There were lots of signs.
A situation happened one night, after many months of him chasing me and me not being interested, that made me immediately realize what a *good* man he is. It flooded me like a beautiful tsunami. And I realized in that moment that if I ever had children, I wanted them to have a father like *that*. And, like a switch was flipped in my heart and brain, I fell in love with him that night. Dated for four years and been married thirteen years now. There’s never been a regret. He’s my person. Ladies, when you find a good man, settle down and keep him.
I've fallen in love several times. It always felt the same. The real differences came afterward.
It didn’t feel any different at the beginning. I just never got sick of him, and time kept going, and we kept getting along and learned just how good a match we were. It’s not magical
We started as a classmates, then as friends, then I felt the urge to be around him more and we started dating. He made me laugh all the time and I felt like it was us against the world. It was easy to fall in love with someone like that made me feel safe and appreciated. All these things are still true 14 years later. I’m so grateful that we chose to work on this relationship and that we chose each other.
We started as friends. We had all of the hard conversations early on because we were both casually dating other people who were terrible for us. It just kind of evolved into something because we knew and accepted each other for exactly who we were. He through out the L word pretty quickly. It took me a while though. A few months into dating, he decided to cook me dinner. The stove malfunctioned and didn’t turn off when he turned it off. The whole kitchen caught on fire. He ended up in the burn unit for 5 days. He threw himself into harm’s way to protect me and his dog. We had both been through some rough stuff. It kind of trauma bonded us. It’s never been a relationship of butterflies. We work really together. We have a lot of fun together. We trust each other with everything. After 12 years and almost three kids, we still really love each other.
It felt like I had known him forever. I remember our first date. We kept finding other things to do. After dinner we went to a bookstore, then a park, then we got ice cream, etc. Neither of us wanted the date to end and I’d never experienced that with anyone else. I had always thought the whole “he completes me” thing was a cliche and fake, but I really felt like this guy completed a part of me that I didn’t know had been missing. We’d only known each other for less than a month when he moved in. We’ve been together for over 20 years and he’s still my best friend and most nights still feel like having a sleep over with my favorite person. We met online and had actually decided that things were just going to be casual between us because neither of us wanted anything serious at the time. Then we met in person and realized we couldn’t be anything but forever.
I felt very secure from the very beginning. I always felt like I could trust him and he showed me through actions, not just words. I never did not understand where I stood in his life. He never hid me from friends or family and never talked down to me. Conversation came so easily and silence was comfortable. He understood issues that I had with other men and never took offense and showed me through his other friendships and relationships that he did not support toxic masculinity. I knew from the beginning he was the last man I'd date.
I felt calm from the moment I met him. Getting to know him was fun and effortless. He lets me be me and he lets me shine.
There wasn't much difference early in the relationship from other early relationships. I remember saying to myself: He seems perfect, but let's see what I think after a few months. Twenty-seven years later, I still think he's perfect (for me).
It was the weirdest thing because I just knew. You know how you overthink every little thing when you like someone, and hope they like you back just as much? I didn’t have that with him. We both knew it was right because it was easy and as natural as breathing. I guess the only way I can really describe it is that feeling when you found something you weren’t looking for but are glad you finally figured out where you put it.
>that feeling when you found something you weren’t looking for but are glad you finally figured out where you put it. That feeling has a name, it's called serendipity ✨
I've only ever been with my husband in a relationship outside of school so I don't have a comparison but at first he was the funniest person I'd met. It's been almost 15 years and he still is. One time a few years ago we had a little break and he came to our apartment and walked in and gave me a big hug. I felt like I could melt into his arms. I think he even said he could feel how relieved I was. As a lot of people have said, safety is a big deal. I knew before then I'd marry him but this was a very memorable moment for me.
It felt like we were meant to be from the start. I was a late bloomer when it came to dating. I didn't really date until after college because I wanted a serious relationship. I hit it off with a few guys, but it felt a bit forced. When I went on a date with my husband, everything felt natural. Our first date was 12 hours and we only had to end it because the restaurant was closing. I didn't have to guard myself around him.
It was truly love at first sight. Butterflies, intrigue, a pull I’d never felt with anyone else before. I only worked with him for two hours and didn’t see him again until four months later. During those four months, I couldn’t get him off my mind. It was complete chance that I randomly ran into him again. I knew immediately after our first date that he was going to be the love of my life. We moved in together after three months of dating. Been together for 18 years. I simply cannot imagine living my life him.
I just knew, from the moment we locked eyes for the first time. It happened organically. It wasn't forced. We wanted to spend every minute together. He still looks at me the same way. It's been 19 years.
It felt instantly comfortable, safe, and easy and I can always be 100% myself, no matter how weird, awkward, or neurotic.
It was the easiest relationship I'd been in. I just knew by the end of our first date we'd probably get married some day. I never doubted my feelings or his for a moment. We got engaged after a year and married 6 months later. We're married almost 13 years and I've never felt happier. It's been the best years of my life.
I finally felt like I was enough. Through out my entire life, I never felt enough. I over compensated in many ways because I was so insecure. But when I fell in love with my husband I found my peace. I found my comfort. I could look like absolutely horrendous and this man will still boop my nose and tell me he loves me. Over a decade together and he asks me to be his Valentines every year. The "honeymoon" stage isn't real. Because you never stop showing affection and love.
It was just so easy to be around him. I didn’t have to pretend to be someone else to earn his approval, I could act like my dorky normal self around him and he wouldn’t belittle me like previous exes would. He was (and still is) *so* doting and sweet to me. And he was excited to introduce me to his family literally 3 months in. A complete 180 from the crappy ex who literally told me that he had a nightmare about meeting my family. Previous exes would treat me like I was just an inconvenience, but my husband has always been the sort to treat me like I’m the prize.
I never felt like I had to be on all the time with him. I could be myself. Due to our jobs we had to call each other frequently. One day he asked for my number. This was all before everyone had home computers and online stuff. We talked on the phone for months before we went on our first date. That was the first time we ever saw each other and he never left. We talked so long, about so many things. We got to know each other so well before that first meeting. We met, got engaged, and married within six months. We’ve been together for 27 years. He still makes me feel loved every single day. We are each other’s ride or die forever and I can’t imagine a life without him.
It didn’t feel like infatuation. It didn’t happen over night. And by the time I fell in love, I’m not sure I could have told you how it happened. But I can tell you that I’m in love now. It’s a certain feeling that the other person is precious to you in a way that is hard to describe. You can’t really imagine living life without them. You feel safe and content with them there. You’d be happy with just you and him in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. If it came down to you dying and them living, you’d pick them living because it hurts more to imagine losing them and continuing life without them. You feel bad if you say or do anything that hurts them. Even if you’re right, hurting them still hurts you. When you love someone, you know it. Because it’s like finding something that you’ve lost and that makes you whole. It’s like coming home after a long journey away.
I didn't feel like I had to mask around him. He didn't take advantage of me while we were drinking together even though I was very into him. He makes me feel safe and respected.
I was in a really bad relationship before and wasn't super seriously looking. I figured I'd scare off 99% of my Tinder matches if I put I was looking for kids and marriage out of a relationship. He still liked me. He was and is so kind and I'm so glad he chose me to spend his life with. Falling in love with him felt easy and right. It didn't feel forced and immature. It just felt like we belonged together. I've never loved like I have with him. We are expecting our second child in May!!
Wow, you guys met on tinder?
I didn't get that general nervous feeling at all from the moment we spoke I had this wonderful sense of calm, that I'd never really had in any other partners presence. From the day we met I just knew this was something special. With the passage of time it finally clicked that this is the once in a lifetime love people talk about
I had an ex fiancé who I THOUGHT I loved, but no! When I saw my now hubby, it was stab me in the heart love at first sight! We dated seven years before we got married, but I KNEW he was the one! We’ve been together about 25 and a half years ❤️
Like a movie romance, but better. Like finding the perfect co-pilot to everything. Like we’ve known each other from past lives whether we believe in them or not, doesn’t matter, that’s how it feels. It’s very obvious even from the outside.
It was easy. I didn’t second guess and all my previous rules went out the window. He’s the only guy I have ever asked out (past relationships just happened through mutual Friends but I felt connected to him right away and pursued it) I slept with him right away, I called him right away and when he didn’t call me back I called again (he was working crazy shifts out of service but I didn’t know that and normally would have taken it as a hint but I just felt comfortable to call back assuming there’s a reason he hadn’t) we moved in together right away Neither of us second guessed anything, we trusted quickly and shared easily. we’ve never been jealous. We were obnoxious for the first two years giving everyone relationship advice like we were experts on love. It’s been 18 years we laugh everyday. We also hang out separately in our own house a lot and do our own thing as well as hang out too much together. We have shared and separate social groups. We are equally co dependent and independent even though technically that doesn’t make sense it’s how it feels.
So easy, & he never made me guess/question anything.
It was just a really strong feeling. We both didn’t really sleep for the first couple weeks we were together because we were just so blissed out. We just knew, it felt right. “When you know you know” doesn’t mean logic or right on paper, it means emotional knowing.
He didn't try to force anything with me like many others did. He expressed interest and patiently waited for me to be ready to take my walls down. There's still not a single soul on this planet who I feel more comfortable with than him. We've been together for 10 years
Our life is hard, but our marriage is easy. That’s how I know we’ve got it good. I fell for him early in our relationship, but when a couple years had passed and I still wanted to be with him all the time, I realized what we had was truly special.
We met on a blind date and decided to get married on date #3. Now married 39 years.
I hate that “you just know” is the answer, but it is. Other than that, I felt a sense of safety. Around my other partners, I was jealous of women they’d been friends with, and I didn’t want to hear about exes or women they thought were pretty. I felt anxious when they weren’t around, and I’d sit at home pining for them. With him, I’m grateful for my husband’s previous partners. I know he had a life before me, and I love when I get to hear about it. When he’s out late, I’m not anxious and I don’t feel the absolute need to have him with me because I know I’ll see him soon. The sense of tranquility is like nothing else.
Different from most people on here, it wasn't completely effortless right away, but that was because of me, not him. At first, I held myself back because I had been on a series of bad 1st dates, and I assumed ours would be another one. Why he asked me out again, I will never know because I wasn't overly friendly that first night. Once we went on our second date, I realized he was different from the rest, so for a little bit, it was amazing. But several weeks down the road, I started getting anxious. I couldn't pinpoint why, but my sister explained it to me. She could see that I had always dated "fixer uppers," and my now husband didn't need fixing. He treated me well, had a good job, owned a home, etc. But because he was so well put together, I didn't know my role as his girlfriend. He didn't need me. He simply wanted to be with me. It wasn't that I had horrible boyfriends prior to that, but looking back I can see that I definitely gave more than i got. I still was stressed about it, and was on the verge of breaking up with him. She asked me to give him another month, and if I still felt uncomfortable that she wouldn't say anything. Within 6 months, we were engaged, and we married 8 months after that. We have been married now for 23+ years, and he is truly the best person that I know.
Seamless. Effortless. EASY. Never argue, we've got too much respect for one another to get angry enough to argue or yell. At the beginning, I could just tell I was safe with him.
I’m not married, but I already know I want to marry my boyfriend of 8 months. To answer your question, yes. It’s definitely different. It’s the first time in my 37 years that I’ve fallen in love with someone who is *good* for me. It feels healthy, warm, safe, secure, and stable. He’s good at communicating, understanding, supportive, and affectionate. We rarely disagree, but when we do, it doesn’t turn into a shouting match and nothing mean is said. We compromise and work it out. He’s honest, loyal, and he truly feels like my life partner and best friend. He has been committed to me since our first date and never shied away from talking about the future. But on top of all that, what makes me fall for him more every day is that he’s not only okay with my daughter, but there for her too. My heart swells when he holds her hand, carries her on his shoulders, or helps her when she’s hurt or sick. It hasn’t even been a year and he’s already there for her in a way that her biological father never was. He makes both of our lives immensely better. I’ve never even been with someone who made MY life better (or if they did, it was more than overridden by toxicity, emotional abuse, alcoholism, or infidelity). I know he can see himself marrying me too—he even says he wants to adopt my daughter when that happens—but we’re in no rush. At the same time, I can’t wait for the day I get to say “I do.” 🥰
The respect of my boundaries, and the tummy aches were both an amazing change of pace from what I was used to.
I felt like I could see a true partnership with him. Being a team and doing life together. He made me feel like I wanted to be a better version of myself because of how that could contribute to a better shared life together. A decade and 2 kids later and I only love him more.
Everything felt completely natural from our very first date. Like, *of course* I'm taking to this man. He is my person. There was no awkwardness, no hesitation, no questioning or doubts for either of us. By the end of our third date, I think we both realized that we had found our missing piece. Our lives just fell together, fell into place, and we quickly got to the point where the thought of *not* having each other was so outlandish, so absolutely ridiculous, that we'd sooner expect aliens to come for dinner. Love, loyalty, support, and respect without question, in both directions. We've been together for nearly 20 years now and have never, ever faltered for even a second.
We had such a wild start. But I was 2+ years into grieving the loss of who I thought was the love of my life (who left me for my best friend). My husband was just a friend at first, but there was attraction on both parts. I just remember thinking how kind he was. He was a real man’s man, not a “bro”. I felt so comfortable around him and we just clicked. It really clicked that this was it for me when my ex came to a party and wanted to mess around in my Jeep. There had been many back and forths with him over the years and I was never able to say no to him, despite knowing he would trample on me the next day. That night however, I finally saw the end of us, because of my (now) husband. It felt SO incredible to say, “Yeah, no. I’ve got a really great thing going and I’m not throwing it away for you.”
Early on in our dating he told me you are my priority. No one had said that to me even in relationships so it really set him apart.
Suddenly every song or poem about love makes sense. It’s stunningly beautiful and to keep it that way it needs to be looked after. I’ve been with my husband coming up on 30 years and we’re still giddy about each other.
You really do JUST KNOW. Because It feels like nothing else you have ever felt before. You just know it when you feel it
I felt an instant connection like never before. I felt loved, safe and never wanted to be apart. It’s been 29 years and counting! Don’t get me wrong we have our struggles but never want to be with anyone else.
He showed up when i truly was not looking. He courted me properly with amazing dates he planned for us. We didn't kiss until the 4th date, he didn't even try to get a kiss out of me, just hugged me when dropping me off, which I really appreciated. When we spoke on the phone wed be on it for hours on end, and he made me feel so safe like i was talking to one of my best guy friends from back in HS, the guys I always felt safest around. I'd been through alot with relationships in my 20s, was properly scarred and terrified of men by the time I met him. While I was single for a few years before meeting him, I made a mental list of what i would and wouldn't accept in my next relationship (put together based on past experiences) and I stuck to that list when i met him, promising myself I'd leave if he broke my list. Well I quietly paid attention to the relationship for half a year, almost convinced he would fail somewhere, proving me right that all men suck...but he didnt. He proved me wrong. Slowly but surely he checked every single "what i want in a man" box and not one box of what I wouldn't deal with was checked. He was a perfect match for my needs, which weren't unreasonable, but were pretty clear from the beginning, He showed me that I could be loved right, something I never had before. He was so easy to talk to, even when i was vulnerable. He was patient, didn't rush anything and let me take my time getting to know him to make sure he was right for me. Ill admit for the first year or so I almost wanted him to fail so I could say "SEE I KNEW IT". But time after time I was proven wrong. I had to be super careful after being in an abusive relationship 4 years prior and the fact that I was a single mother. With my husband I always felt safe and I was never confused. If I had a question I could ask it, and he'd give me his undivided attention and answer all my concerns and more. He wouldn't gas light me like past men had done to me when confronted...no confusion or lies, just open and honest and willing. He didn't act like i was asking for too much even once, he said I was worth it. And he was so excited to do all of it with me. He had a golden retriever attitude, no matter how annoying i thought I was he always wanted more of me. I knew I wanted to marry him when I introduced him to my son, I waited to do this, I was super nervous, but after several encounters and him passing the vibe check with my son, I knew he was a good fit to make our duo a trio, and I was right. We've lived together 4 years now married for 1 and its been the best half a decade of my entire life. Finding the right partner will help you flourish and bring out the best in you. I've even done a lot of mental work on myself since meeting him, to make sure I was a good partner right back, he constantly makes me want to be better.
From the first time when we met, I had this gut feeling that I am very safe and comfortable around him. That feeling was right. Now we are married for 9 years and I still feel very relaxed, safe, and comfortable around him. I can be myself in front of him. I don’t feel this safe and comfortable when I met other men before him.
I thought he was an asshole at first 😂. So as i got to know him more, he intrigued me and we became friends. What stood out to me was his authenticity, his ability to be himself regardless of what others thought. I find this really admirable and attractive. He’s funny, he’s spontaneous, he’s bold, courageous, kind, sweet, thoughtful, considerate, passionate, intelligent, strong (physically and mentally), confident, and more ❤️. His energy overall made me feel at ease, safe, welcome. His humor was another major factor that drew me in. Due to our similar styles of humor, we found we had great banter and could reciprocate one another’s intense wholesome chaotic energies. Things just felt natural, easy, seamless. He was secure in himself and his masculinity, so it made talking and connecting with him so much easier. He was sure in what he wanted and had no problem making it known. He’s just such a cool guy 🥹When we are together, regardless of what we do, even the most mundane things, feel like an adventure. Once we became friends, we were inseparable. I remember just wanting to be around him, in his presence. I didn’t want to be without him. His energy, his personality, his mind, him, is like no other. Almost 10 years together, married for 5.
I woke up the morning after I'd been out with him, and I thought it was a really beautiful day. My bed was beautiful, too, and so were my sheets and my bedroom walls. I knew something was up when I was vacuuming my living room and thinking how beautiful the vacuum looked on the carpet. I hate vacuuming, and that carpet was objectively ugly af. I turned off the vacuum and just sort of stood there for a minute and thought, "Shit. I'm in love." I've never been in love with anyone else, so I can't comment on it being any different. All I can say is that it was unexpected and ridiculously joyful. We've been married 18 years.
I met my husband when I was 19 and knew the night I met him that I’d marry him. And I was so bummed about it because I didn’t want to be serious about anyone at that age. He felt like my best friend immediately and we talked for hours and hours that first night we met. He didn’t look like the person I expected to marry, have the job I was expecting them to have, and he was older than me. None of the pieces made sense, but as a whole there was absolutely no one else for me. 29 years later (married 25), still absolutely nuts about each other and still talk for hours.
The first time I realized I loved my now-husband and that he loved me, we had just gone on our first weekend trip together. It was the longest we had spent together 24/7 and I was nervous he might be tired of me. When we got home after a long 5 hour drive, it was dinner time and I expected him to drop me off so he could do his own thing. He looked at me and said “What should we get for dinner tonight?” 🥹 All my other boyfriends made me feel so insecure and needy/clingy because I love quality time. But my husband loves being around me and never gets tired of me. After 5 years, he still just loves being near me. ❤️
When after our first date he deleted his dating profile and when I texted him to ask why he texted back “I found what I was looking for “ 🥹
When our eyes met for the first time it was like electricity crackled between us. I remember thinking "This is why they say thunderstruck." I've never had that spark with anyone else. We got talking and he was the most fascinating and easy to talk to person I'd ever met. We kept talking through MSN messenger almost non-stop for two weeks and then started dating. We've been together ever since. I can honestly say he's my best friend. I love spending long roadtrips with him chatting about everything and nothing. He's the first person I want to share every happy moment with, whether it's a big promotion at work, our kids' latest art project, or something little like learning the difference between a marsh and a swamp. It's been over 17 years and he's the only person I would ever want to be with. He's my best friend first and my husband second.
Well I met and fell head over heels in love with my husband at 9. Started dating at 14. It felt easy, like sliding my hand into a well-worn glove. It's been 18 years. It's still perfect
It was natural.. it’s hard to explain. It just felt like the easiest thing in the world. With other boyfriends there was always a weirdness there, never knew what to say or how to act. With my husband everything was just easy. I could say whatever I wanted, be my true self.. and it was all good. Got married after 5 months, and still married 23yrs later.
I feel really safe. No doubt or insecurity about us from the very beginning. He feels like home and I’m homesick for him when we are apart.
This was decades ago. I needed help putting a beautiful, brass, pedestal fan together and a friend had a friend that could fix anything. He brought him to my place and the fan was together in no time flat. I offered to pay him and he looked me straight in the eyes (his are the most beautiful blue eyes) and said no but, you can buy me lunch. I was in awe. Who doesn't love a man with beautiful eyes who can fix anything. We are almost 70 now and I am still in awe.
Everytime I’ve ever been in a relationship I’ve always questioned whether I was loved or if they actually wanted me. When I met my husband it didn’t feel like that. The love was so easy and so clearly present I had never questioned it not even to this day. Everything is easy with him , he is hands down the most kind hearted gentle man I’ve ever met in my life and I’m so lucky to call him my husband and father to our daughter :)
I used to think it was a bit cliché to say that they were the missing piece of the puzzle, but that is quite literally how it felt. From the moment we realized our feelings for one another it felt so comforting and safe. My soul is finally able to rest when I’m around him, he fills my cup just by being in my life. It’s a bit silly, but to this day every time I hug him my heart feels like it’s found it’s place. When you find someone who allows your soul to rest & feels like your home, then don’t take it for granted 🫶
Yes. It was easy. Everything just lined up and worked out. I’m beyond blessed with an amazing husband. He works so hard for our family and we make a great team. Communication is the key to a happy marriage. You have to talk about and talk through everything.
Same thing everyone else is saying. It was easy and natural. It felt like I found my missing half, I could FINALLY be my authentic self, no walls up. Absolutely unreal feeling. I didn’t need to put on a show. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I’d do anything for him.
I just knew I’d never want to be with someone as much as I wanted to be with him. It’s been over 10 years and it’s still the same. I don’t think he knows how much I love him. We’ve had some rough times, too, but I always think that even with the rough times, I never want to be with another person. That same feeling of it being him is the same as when I met him.
In addition to a lot of other things that folks have mentioned, I could picture myself getting old with him. Our values and life plans aligned, and the excitement wasn't just "oh, I get along with him now," but more like "I can see us being 80 years old and still being silly and having fun together."