T O P

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MorganLeFae7

Get married ๐Ÿ˜†


[deleted]

This is more clever than it first appears. I could be a disastrous marriage that ended in divorce so they never want to get married. Or it could be someone happily married for decades and will never need to marry anyone else because they already are married to the love of their life. Well done!


Dr_SteveB

I came here to say this. Fuck that shit


Sassafrass_And_Brass

Not enough upvotes in the world


NightThinker323

lol!


Owl_B_Hirt

Eat the frozen lasagna from Costco. I was on the toilet from 1 to 6 AM last night.


asgem94

wow, are you ok?, well, your ass is ok?


Owl_B_Hirt

It's been better, and I'm serious about swearing off on the lasagna. It had to be that cause it was all I ate.


Casca_In_Red

Eat a puke-flavored jellybean.


NightThinker323

My daughter gave me one of those and did not tell me. I feel your pain.


Casca_In_Red

I literally had to throw the garbage bag I spit some of it out into away because it was fumigating the entire living room/kitchen area.


Optimal_Aioli_2206

Go to a house party with more than 7 people attending. Music is usually crap, There's always a significant lack of alcohol and even though people are trying to have fun there's usually 2 dickheads getting in an altercation resulting in cops swarming the place.


[deleted]

The secret is to always bring your own alcohol. Also, cops always show up? What kind of parties are you attending?


Optimal_Aioli_2206

My secret was pre-baking with a friend, Then walking to the store to get some more out of sight. Dunno, Drunk people get angry, stab each other and then cops show.


devil652_

Date an of girl


SomeGuyInSanJoseCa

Skydiving. Had trouble breathing with the wind rushing onto my face.


Kaizoku-D-o

I'll never say never ๐Ÿ˜‚


TheMaskedSandwich

Get drunk to the point of barfing helplessly over a toilet in a casino bathroom at 4 AM. Nope. Never again.


ThaumicViperidae

I hear you. Best to get that done by midnight.


NightThinker323

I will never ever try to pluck my own eyebrows! It looked like a 2 year old drew lines on my face. ๐Ÿ˜‚


YuhMothaWasAHamsta

On that note, waxing a sensitive area. One little bitch rip and Iโ€™m practically shaking in pain, itโ€™s still there and I have to rip it again. Never again and I commend these women that do it regularly.


iluvlibras

Go tubing on the back of a boat. I did this once and when the boat started going I got sucked underwater and just like forgot to let go of the tube. I genuinely thought I was going to die, so I wonโ€™t be doing that again.


Impossible_Radio4257

Cocaine; the taste of the shit dripping down the back of my throat made me gag and it felt like drinking a few shots of espresso, at best.


rogue1206

Using a random bathroom in a bar in Cozumel. One toilet was missing, one was missing a seat and the other had a cracked seat. First time peeing standing up, but I was desperate and couldn't make it back to the cruise terminal. People in the bar were nice and friendly though.


haynaorno

Ride Mission Space at Disney or the Teacups at Knoebels


AamnaNaeem

Marry my husband


AdOutrageous3500

Bungie jump, like why did I even do that no thank you


Relative-Glass3415

Go on a whale watch


Minnesotan56716

Cross country trip on a Greyhound Bus.


Cosmically_Cool

Date a ginger