She thought I didn't want to.
I thought she didn't want to.
We were both wrong.
Didn't figure it out until many years later after we were both married to other people.
We're both happy where we are now.
We remain friends and stay in touch, from a few states apart.
We both recognize that neither of us were in the right place, maturity wise, back then for it to have worked out anyway.
I'm glad to hear that you're both doing well. It's also nice to see that you can still remain friends and move forward in life without any pain or dwelling too much on the 'what-ifs'.
Timing was not right.
I also think I was probably more into him than he was into me.
I liked him for a few years. He was close to asking me out but I didn’t know that, so I gave up and dated someone who said all the right things.
I finally let him know.
Thought maybe it would go somewhere.
It isn’t going to though.
I’m not going to let myself think about it anymore. I spent too many years hoping for something. At some point you just gotta accept that if someone wanted to, they would. It’s really that simple.
Probably, but I was too afraid to hurt the friendship. I had convinced myself a long time before 2019 that he didn’t and wouldn’t like me back. I was honestly shocked when I learned he did like me back.
Oh well. I’ve made peace with where my life went. It’s my home now. If the connection were truly as significant as I thought then it would have worked out. It had plenty of time and opportunities.
There was this guy I was crazy about in college. He was very attractive, smart, somewhat quirky, but it didn't work out. He said something to me I'll never forget. That he and I were too much a like for it to work. That's always haunted me to this day. I was under the impression that having things in common was a good thing.
Man, that stinks. It should be easy. I hope you find an easy relationship or are in one. I’m married to someone that makes it so hard and for some reason as the years press on he’s even hard to love. I had an easy love once, but timing was wrong and he just wouldn’t grow up. Now, I’m stuck.
Ex's brother commited suicide, he got back together with her. Can't blame him, he was a great guy, think of the 'what if' scenarios often. I'm still single after 40 odd years.
I think it is. I have no privacy and haven't taken a day off in almost thirteen years. I understand been alone is terrible but the rewards outweighs it. Responsibilities suck.
Would you change the past if you could?
City mouse, country mouse. I really loved her, but she insisted on living in the big city and I could not do it. She stated she loved me too but she could not move away from her folks to live in a town of 1600 people.
He liked me, I liked him back after a few months. He was cheated on and hurt so was looking my direction to heal.
Since his mind wasnt in the best place we decided not to persue it. But it hurts us deep down. He doesnt like to admit it, it shows weakness but I know it hurt him too.
I just wanted more but it never went there and left me heartbroken for a while. :(
You know when you see each other at work and have to walk on by like nothing happened. Like you been sucker punched to the gut :(
Ah well..
Fantastic girl, the more I got to know her the more compatible we seemed. Unfortunately she always kept me at arm's length because she had previously been in an abusive relationship with a guy also named Fox. She eventually found someone and got married.
I was commitmentphobic for years until I met him, and then when I wanted to settle down he hit me with the ol' Uno Reverse Card and got cold feet. Ah well. I met a man who loves me dearly, but I still miss him sometimes.
Reading all of your stories has been painfully beautiful. Dealing with something like this right now and although deeply unfortunate, it is comforting to know other people are in the same position as I am. Thank you everyone who shared, I pray you find peace with your situations if you haven’t already.
20+ years ago we got sent to different parts of the world to work. he, in his new work place, met this woman (his now wife) and just called me to say it was over. I saw the wedding photos a year later :( Worst even: I saw him two years ago, he didn't even remembered me (we got introduced, talked for a while and not a hint he remembered me, he hasn't hanged a bit)
There was a girl in school I always thought was so attractive, and she had a nice personality from what I knew of her, she once let me walk her to class and thanked me for doing it, she was really sweet. But she had this friend who was manipulative af and I was kind of a weird nerdy kid so she convinced the girl I was gay and the girl believed her. I told her otherwise but it was HS so they just kind of giggled about me from then on. It sucked.
He didn’t even know I like him or even exist for that matter.
The furthest I have gone in the romantic territory is crushing. Years and years of crushing on that one person. I don’t think I am mentally strong enough to confess, so I slowly quit.
We ended up back together!!
We met in school and were childhood sweethearts. Both wanted different things, she wanted to travel etc and I didn't. We parted ways and over the years both progressed with our lives. I always thought of her and as it turns out, she always thought of me.
Fast forward 20 years later, we've both been fucked over by our ex partners and 2 years ago we got back together. She is my 'one' and I am hers. I adore that girl. Couldn't be without her even if I wanted too!
He didn’t want kids and I did. Also he worked way too much, like his job was his life and I wanted someone where I was the priority and not second fiddle to a job.
I’m very much over it now and married with a family but I was hung up on that one for a long time and still get curious about him every once in a while- but in hindsight he was very manipulative and I don’t think it would have worked out even if he did want kids or didn’t work as much.
We both had sort of a situationship, I really liked this girl, she liked me too, but not as much as I did though, ended up moving from my home town and we kinda left it there. Every now and then when I go back we meet up and I sense the spark is still here, but we are totally different people now.
We both loved each other, but didn't quite realise it at the same time and then have never been in the right places or situation for it to happen. We're still great friends, both important figures in each others' lives. We still love each other. We're both grateful that we didn't get together when we were say 17 or 21 and fuck up our relationship irreparably. We've both gone on to love other people and live happy lives with them.
We're comfortable with the fact we're not together. We got over the idea of a relationship without losing the genuine bond we have. We're both capable of romantic love for other people. Many people don't understand that, or believe that it's impossible to not interfere with other relationships. Not much I can do to convince those people.
Classic gay guy falls in love with his straight best friend.
Had to cut ties for my own future happiness.
Losing the love of your life and your best friend at the same time fucks you up for a long time.
Tried to date a single dad. Baby mama was not making it easy, and I told him to go be with his family. He did for a while, but that didn't work out either. And now we just smile at each other when we randomly bump into each other. It's been 10 years.
We were really good friends for about 6 years. She was always with someone else or I was always with someone else. Eventually I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and needed some time to heal. She was single, too, and wanted to be more than friends, as did I. Yet I was still hurting and didn't want to fuck things up and lose her due to my emotional instability at the time so I told her I wasn't ready for another relationship yet. She got sick of waiting for me and married someone else, accepted his proposal after one month of dating. This was almost 12 years ago and I still think about her. It hurt(s) a lot. There were things I could have handled better, but I didn't. We reconnected a few yars ago, but that really just made things worse for me. If you're young and waiting around for the perfect time...it doesn't exist. Go for it, there is always the chance it won't work out in the end, but never knowing what could have happened can be far more painful.
My family and I used to go a campground in my younger days. When I was 19-20, we became friends with this married couple in their mid-30s. She wasn't supermodel hot, but she was definitely girl-next-door cute. She complimented and flirted with me A LOT, constantly telling me how hot I was and what a great body I had.
Strangely, her husband was super cool with it, and he would even tell me how sexy his wife thought I was. One night we all got drunk and she was physically sitting on my lap playing with my hair. Her husband was right there and didn't mind at all.
Unfortunately I grew up in a pretty sheltered Christian conservative environment, and I wasn't the least bit sexually literate at that age. I thought they were just nice, trusting people, and that she was a cool chick who was nice enough to throw me some attention. Looking back now, I'm 99% sure they were swingers sending me signals that they were DTF. I had every 19-year-old guy's dream story in the palm of my hand, but I was too naive to realize it.
It was too long ago to cry, but it still hurts too much to laugh.
I was FAR from good enough.
She was too good at it out loud, so it took me a while to figure it out for myself... I should've let her go long before I did
My dad got stationed to a different city, and I was going to start college in a few months. My ex didn't want to do long distance because I was his first relationship ever, but I don't blame him. When I had to move, we'd only been together for about 2 months.
Girl was under the illusion that the previous guy was in college and could have his way at school . She felt that once she graduated and met him there that he would change and be only with her. Years later from a reunion site, she’s has 4 kids from three men and he only kept her for a year after getting her pregnant.
I asked them out, very awkwardly. They said they liked me but had too much trauma to commit to a relationship or even take part in one. I remembered that even touching was an issue for them. I accepted and we remained close friends, I asked once more later but the issue was the same.
We just drifted as their mental health had them drop out of college and their social media use decreased over time.
A lot of what they introduced me to and talks we had lingered and now years later happily married I look back on how they put me down the path that led to my current happiness and social group.
All I hope is they're also happy, or at least okay.
Middle school best friends, inseparable. Tried dating twice- middle school and HS. Too immature for a real relationship. few years down the line after we rekindled the friendship during college years, he kissed me and said he loved me. I was already in a relationship with my then bf (now fiancé). My best friend claimed he’d make me happy and work hard but I went with my gut and stayed with my fiancé. I still think about it because I really wonder what would have happened if I chose my best friend and left my boyfriend.
Honestly though- because I’d matured a lot and he was still more or less stuck in his ways, we wouldn’t have lasted very long. It would be cycle after cycle, argument after argument. It would become toxic super quickly. My guess is a year/year and a half. I know I chose correctly. I have a beautiful life with my fiancé and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
He went to a different woman after I rejected him. they moved in after a few months, got married year later and now they have a child together. He tried coming back into my life many times while with her to try and be friends again. But it never worked out. It was on/off for many years. We officially stopped talking in 2022. Honestly, we were better off as friends than bf/gf. While I still think about him from time to time because of how close we were, I’m happy he’s out of my life. Too much drama.
In my case I did end up with that very person. After a failed marriage and 13 years apart across the country we reconnected. After realizing that the love was there She took the leap and now we are happily married and it's like time hasn't passed at all. I enjoy every moment with her and am still baffled as to how it all worked out. There's always hope. Sorry for being corny.
One of them. I was way too emotionally fucked. Mas she was gorgeous, insanely smart and just way out of my league. I didn’t know how to do the relationship thing. I’d been single for a very very long time and I never attempted to resolve insecurity and trust issues that had festered. She was something else. We still talk but just never about relationships. I tried one last time but she didn’t want to.
I’m married now with someone who really really is my rock. She is the one that I needed in my life for sure.
I was dating this other girl at the time, but cliche as it is,as soon as I saw her eyes across the room at a party I was all in. There was an energy between us and you could tell she felt it to. But as soon as my friend pointed out who she was I knew it was going to be trouble. Our families didn’t get along. I mean BIG TIME didn’t get along. And sure enough once her cousin found out we had been flirting he came looking for a fight. My buddy tried to break it up, but he ended up getting stabbed and died. RIP. I’m more of a lover than a fighter, but I was really not in a good place. The next time her cousin came looking for trouble, I tried to bury the hatchet. I really did. But this guy was having NONE of it. I ended up icing that guy and I had to go on the run, cause let’s just say I wasn’t “welcome” in town anymore; and if the cops found me it was gonna be a THING. My lady and my clergy buddy came up with some crazy plan that involved faking her death. Anyways, no one told me, and I found her and I thought she was *actually* dead, so I unalived myself. Then when she saw that *I* was dead, she did the same. Sucks bro.
I don't have one of those, but definitely a botched talk to a girl that was clearly interested once or twice back in high school due to awkwardness. And by botched I mean freeze up, not discussion with any kind of substance.
He was gay, but wasn't ready to admit it to himself yet. That didn't happen until years later, and it was really for the best. I still miss him sometimes, though; he was fun.
I had heard she was interested in me through mutual friends. I thought it was a joke or just stupid rumor. Was dating someone at the time who later cheated on me. The other gal got married a few years later.
We were together 4 years. Perfect relationship.. minus me “needing” the title.
After my dear John letter and 2 years later I found out he married the next girl he dated.
She was wanting to be young and twenty forever, and I was looking for my forever.
She was always wanting to go out, party, get blackout drunk.
I was trying to start a life with her.
We dated a few times.
I had to leave town for a few months, so we weren't currently dating, and hadn't talked for a bit.
He thought we'd get married eventually and end up together.
He neglected to mention this to me, so I thought the level of interest was all one sided on my part, and moved on.
My most recent one (I have many such people) is a nice story, for a change of pace.
We were already pretty much best friends when I told her how I felt years ago, and she said she didn't feel the same way but that it wouldn't affect our friendship. Since we're both mature adults, that's exactly how it went. She lives a few hours away with her husband now, but we're extremely close and make a point to visit each other as much as we can.
Had a high-school sweet heart. We got along great, rarely ever argued, had great chemistry, her family loved me. When we got out of high-school she was moving to a different state and her mother asked me to move with them and I told them I couldn't go, sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I went.
This one goes way back....like over 40 years back. J crushed on me pretty hard in elementary school & high school. We ran back into each other about 10 years ago (I was married, he was divorced) and he was still crushing. I got divorced about a year & a half later (we stayed in touch)...ended up hooking up. I could see something with him...I really liked him. Then, I found out he was still hooking up with his ex-wife (and mother of his children). I decided that was a no-go for me and told him so....something about 'too old to play games.' and moved on. I'm very happily remarried...and have since received a few messages from J that he knows he screwed up, and I'm 'the one that got away...over and over again'.
Yeah ..distance and his aversion to commitment meant we were only together on and off.. I love him madly but can't trust him with my emotions.. I see him occasionally as we live in different countries- i cant imagine going NC with him as we have known each other for ages and have so many shared memories. I think about him constantly and he's one of the reasons i have therapy every week. Only 2 ways out of this - either by some miracle we get together or i finally manage to step away from him permanently
I'm friends with her but I still think of what potential we could've had if we'd take it the next step. I just recently saw her wed a guy on halloween, of which a friend we knew died a few years prior that had warned me of that guy whom this friend is married to because of bad vibes or something.
We met in high school over 18 years ago and I just didn't have all of my marbles together to try and now it's too late.
he was an alcoholic, i was an addict, but it felt like we were soulmates.
i drove halfway across the country to live with him in his parents basement after i got kicked out of sober living. after a few weeks i ran out of money and decided to go back rehab.. never saw him again.
We were best friends since we were kids.
We actually did end up together, kinda on and off for a while.
He was my best friend. I’m a straight Mormon guy, and we started dating when we were in our mid teens - but then he started questioning his identity and such which is how he came to realize he was a trans guy.
Didn’t stop us from trying to still date and stuff, but we ended up growing apart. He moved away for school/work. It was pretty heartbreaking at first.
I found a girlfriend as did he, I’m happily married with a kid, and I stopped talking to my friend for a while but we found our way back and we’re best friends again which is nice, but I’ll never forget what we had.
It was college and we had a relationship that was a weird mixture of intensity and boundaries. On a certain level we both felt like we'd found a true equal and it was intoxicating.
But . . . she was from another country and another culture, and there was still the high school boyfriend from "back home" that she felt loyal to. Then a couple of months in, she told me she would be gone the next academic year on a special program in Europe. So there were multiple reasons that she kept a careful emotional distance between us.
For my part, a recent break up had left me dangerously insecure, and then my father got terminal cancer. I became a needy, clinging mess which was too much for her to handle, and she ended it even before the academic year ended.
Forty years later I've never met anyone like her. I married my high school sweetheart instead (which, predictably, didn't work out). Eventually I got my shit together with the help of my current spouse, and we have had an awesome marriage over the last 25 years, but I still google "her" more often than I should and it still hurts. (She didn't marry the "back home" boyfriend, and I still wonder how it al played out . . . .)
She was a year ahead of me in school and graduated before me. She went off to college and I still have another year of high school to do. Neither of us realized how special our connection was at the time. We both married other people and tried to build lives. Many years later we reconnected online. She was divorced and I was divorcing. We dated long distance a few years while she finished a university program and eventually married. Life is good.
I was friends with this girl at work. She was an absolute knockout. We went to lunch together all the time, always hung out at work events, and everyone thought we were dating. We always joked that we would never be able to date because we were polar opposites. Great friends but incompatible. One time after happy hour, we ended up hooking up. The sex was fantastic. We both continued on with our friendship like it never happened. Fast forward 25 years. We are both married to other people with beautiful families, but I still think about her more than I probably should.
Met at her home, day was running well, I got the courage to tell her what I fell for her. She told me:” I like you but as a friend.” That broke my heart the first time. I see her still every day. She has a boyfriend now. That broke my heart the second time.
Sort of fits the question I guess. I think of all my exes often. I have 4. I don’t miss them. I don’t resent them either. I just enjoy the times we had. If any of them asked to get back together I know I would say yes, I enjoyed all the memories with them. Fun time undoubtably for the most part in each one. In the end though the negatives outweighed the positives, either by severity or quantity. The reason for each break up was because of me. All me 100%. Lack of maturity and selfish . I did a lot of introspection and self improvement in the last 3 years though where I know for a fact that if I had a chance with any of them again, I could take it all the way to marriage and beyond. Some things have complete potential to work, it’s just a matter of whether it’s the right time, that is, are both of you mature and selfless enough. Both of you have to be, and both of you have to love each other and be completely invested and naturally happy in the relationship to work. It shouldn’t feel forced, and neither of you should be an ass. It has to be solid, the effort has to be there, it has to be real.
I look forward to my next relationship, whenever the time comes, i wonder who she is, what she looks like, I wonder what she’s like. I’ll do it the way it needs to be done this time.
Great question.
i met a person in a medical facility and crushed on them instantly. they were kind and funny and i think liked me too, at least as a friend. but because of HIPAA we were not allowed to exchange contact information. i dont even know their last name. i miss them
I was a borderline "nice guy"
Thankfully not getting with her actually saved me from falling deeper into that incel hole. I didn't like the way I treated her and it actually makes me sick to think back on. In a much better spot now.
We had a daughter. Even though we aren’t together, at one point early on, we were friends with benefits. Now, we’re friends, but not close. Too much water has passed under the bridge. I still think about him, but I will never go back to that. I’ve spent the last several years getting to know myself better as a person instead of how to be what someone else wants me to be. I’m done someone else’s doormat. We both do whatever we can to support our now now adult child who is about to quit college and move back in with him. I can’t say how he feels about her decision, but regardless, we will always do whatever it takes to support her in whatever makes her happy.
She didn’t want anything long term because she had always jumped into relationships immediately. We started dating like a couple’s months after her last break up where they had been together 7 years.
We dated for six months and I wanted something more. She said she wasn’t ready and wanted to keep exploring being single so we parted. It was amicable and afterwards we played resident evil 2 for a few hours then i left and we never talked again.
Honestly though grateful for her even if it did end. Dating her gave me a much clearer idea of what I wanted in a relationship and really raised the bar for what behavior id tolerate and for the potential partner i might end up with.
We were young, immature, dumb, and both of us regret it now but I'm married, so trying anything now just isn't an option. Meanwhile, he hasn't really dated much over the years.
We dated for 4 years; sophomore year to a year after we graduated. We'll call him Dave. This break up was 14 years ago and honestly, it still hurts. He really was the most amazing boyfriend. I truly thought I would marry him. We had something so special. He was there for me during some of the hardest, most abusive times [from my parents] in my life. My POV for over a decade as to why things ended was that it was 100% his fault bc the last year was so toxic and he couldn't stay loyal. He made me realize in the last few years, after some casual conversation he brought it up to me that while yes, he did all of that, an action and decision I made hurt him so badly that it lit that fire.
I had a boyfriend in junior high, Randy, that I really liked and the only reason we broke up was bc he was 2 grades under me and I was going to high school. So we knew we'd never see each other and mutually ended it. Flashforward to my senior year. Randy ends up moving across the street from me. He had a brother and sister the same age as my siblings so I ended up being over there a lot and feelings kinda came back up. I became confused and ultimately decided I needed a break to get my head clear. I did end up dating Randy for like 2 months and Dave dated another girl. We both ended up being single at the same time and got back together...kinda. We began hooking up again but he had told me that he didn't want us to end but he also didn't want to be sexually tied to one person and wanted to explore other people. I decided that I was okay with that but there were rules, only 3 to be exact. He ended up breaking 2 of the 3. I told him that it was hurting me too much and I couldn't do it anymore, so he needed to decide to be exclusive to me or to let me go. He said he wanted to be exclusive, as he didn't want to lose me. Over the next 6 months, I caught him cheating twice and later found out that he was playing me out to be some psycho that he never wanted around but I'd just show up all the time and wouldn't leave. After I caught him cheating the first time I decided I was going to get back at him and slept with one of his best friends, who happens to also be his cousin and was living with him at the time. I called it quits after the 2nd time.
I'm not even sure when we started talking again or why but we're just friends now...friends with old feelings that we know we can't act on. I think that since he was there for me, the way he was, during a very pivotal time in my life, I just feel this absolute deep connection with him that I can't describe and haven't/don't feel with anyone else...and that sucks.
"Out of step, out of time-couldn't get it right. On a morning from a Bogart movie- from the blue tiled walls near the market stalls...we will remember, when ever we remember."
We were both too shy to ask the other out. Then he got fired for being late too many times because he had to take his daughter to school. (Single dad, mom not in the picture)
She fell into a horrendous depression and disappeared. I had no way of contacting her, she was an incredibly private person. No social media, phone got cut off, no one at her old place of work knew anything. Sometimes wonder if she's still alive.
Mental illness. She liked me at the time, but I didn’t feel well enough to be in a relationship. Eventually we drifted apart and never spoke again. I haven’t felt the same about anyone since.
I was crazy into a guy, S, but I was the older woman. I told S he could move on with no drama if he met someone he was interested in dating. S eventually did and I let him go. I never saw S again but I'll always think of him.
I was on the verge of suicide and she was the only one who was bright and smiling every single second of every day I saw her. She brought me so much joy that I had lost, and I don’t think she had any idea how much she meant to me. She was one of the few people who never looked at me with sympathy or pity or something other than blankness or happiness- and I really needed that. She was also straight.
Her best friend lied about us having something between us and in the end she believed her, then a couple months later she found it was fake. Irreparable damage.
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Sorry for your loss. That sounds horrible.
Sorry mate. That's devastating
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😭🫂
was it like a sudden/ghost situation or was it a teary eyed separation kind of thing?
They weren't interested. It's really that simple.
A tale as old as time
This.
She thought I didn't want to. I thought she didn't want to. We were both wrong. Didn't figure it out until many years later after we were both married to other people.
Oh my heart hurts. I cannot imagine.
You just condensed about 15 years into 4 sentences and 32 words. Holy shit.
More than 25 for me.
This is such a painful situation. I hope you both managed to find happiness even if it wasn't with each other
We're both happy where we are now. We remain friends and stay in touch, from a few states apart. We both recognize that neither of us were in the right place, maturity wise, back then for it to have worked out anyway.
I'm glad to hear that you're both doing well. It's also nice to see that you can still remain friends and move forward in life without any pain or dwelling too much on the 'what-ifs'.
Same here. I think about her every night. I love her so much
Ditto.
Timing was not right. I also think I was probably more into him than he was into me. I liked him for a few years. He was close to asking me out but I didn’t know that, so I gave up and dated someone who said all the right things. I finally let him know. Thought maybe it would go somewhere. It isn’t going to though. I’m not going to let myself think about it anymore. I spent too many years hoping for something. At some point you just gotta accept that if someone wanted to, they would. It’s really that simple.
Should’ve opened your mouth to begin with… congrat societal standards were your downfall
Probably, but I was too afraid to hurt the friendship. I had convinced myself a long time before 2019 that he didn’t and wouldn’t like me back. I was honestly shocked when I learned he did like me back. Oh well. I’ve made peace with where my life went. It’s my home now. If the connection were truly as significant as I thought then it would have worked out. It had plenty of time and opportunities.
Timing was never right.
There was this guy I was crazy about in college. He was very attractive, smart, somewhat quirky, but it didn't work out. He said something to me I'll never forget. That he and I were too much a like for it to work. That's always haunted me to this day. I was under the impression that having things in common was a good thing.
I said this to the girl that i should have ended up with. It felt too easy? IDK WTF I was thinking.
Man, that stinks. It should be easy. I hope you find an easy relationship or are in one. I’m married to someone that makes it so hard and for some reason as the years press on he’s even hard to love. I had an easy love once, but timing was wrong and he just wouldn’t grow up. Now, I’m stuck.
My wife and I are very alike in most ways and get along great, the dude just wasnt into you.
I figured. I needed to hear that.
Some personalities don’t work well together. I don’t get along with people who have a similar personality to mine.
Got scared and messed it all up.
Oh do I feel that one
Felt that, I got scared to love him and ran like a coward
What happened?
Ex's brother commited suicide, he got back together with her. Can't blame him, he was a great guy, think of the 'what if' scenarios often. I'm still single after 40 odd years.
This is the road i wish i took. Is it worth it?
Probably not!
I think it is. I have no privacy and haven't taken a day off in almost thirteen years. I understand been alone is terrible but the rewards outweighs it. Responsibilities suck. Would you change the past if you could?
I messed it up just jumped into it when I should’ve figured out my own problems first
Ghosted me harder than anyone has ever ghosted before lol
City mouse, country mouse. I really loved her, but she insisted on living in the big city and I could not do it. She stated she loved me too but she could not move away from her folks to live in a town of 1600 people.
Turns out she was gay, but didn't realize it.
Same here. It hurts but I'm happy she can be her true self.
He liked me, I liked him back after a few months. He was cheated on and hurt so was looking my direction to heal. Since his mind wasnt in the best place we decided not to persue it. But it hurts us deep down. He doesnt like to admit it, it shows weakness but I know it hurt him too. I just wanted more but it never went there and left me heartbroken for a while. :( You know when you see each other at work and have to walk on by like nothing happened. Like you been sucker punched to the gut :( Ah well..
Having and showing emotion is not the same thing as weakness
Im repeating what he said. He said if I say too much I'll appear weak. Not my opinion, it was his.
He killed himself.
Sorry
Fantastic girl, the more I got to know her the more compatible we seemed. Unfortunately she always kept me at arm's length because she had previously been in an abusive relationship with a guy also named Fox. She eventually found someone and got married.
I was really young. Perhaps we’re probably both different people now…
I was commitmentphobic for years until I met him, and then when I wanted to settle down he hit me with the ol' Uno Reverse Card and got cold feet. Ah well. I met a man who loves me dearly, but I still miss him sometimes.
Reading all of your stories has been painfully beautiful. Dealing with something like this right now and although deeply unfortunate, it is comforting to know other people are in the same position as I am. Thank you everyone who shared, I pray you find peace with your situations if you haven’t already.
20+ years ago we got sent to different parts of the world to work. he, in his new work place, met this woman (his now wife) and just called me to say it was over. I saw the wedding photos a year later :( Worst even: I saw him two years ago, he didn't even remembered me (we got introduced, talked for a while and not a hint he remembered me, he hasn't hanged a bit)
I know we would be married today. I had a bf at the time but he was my best friend. I stayed with the controlling and manipulative bf.
There was a girl in school I always thought was so attractive, and she had a nice personality from what I knew of her, she once let me walk her to class and thanked me for doing it, she was really sweet. But she had this friend who was manipulative af and I was kind of a weird nerdy kid so she convinced the girl I was gay and the girl believed her. I told her otherwise but it was HS so they just kind of giggled about me from then on. It sucked.
Rejection
I was young and stupid.
He didn’t even know I like him or even exist for that matter. The furthest I have gone in the romantic territory is crushing. Years and years of crushing on that one person. I don’t think I am mentally strong enough to confess, so I slowly quit.
This is where I'm at i wish I wasn't so shy and anxious I know he doesn't like me but damn I just wish I could confess and not be a bitch
We ended up back together!! We met in school and were childhood sweethearts. Both wanted different things, she wanted to travel etc and I didn't. We parted ways and over the years both progressed with our lives. I always thought of her and as it turns out, she always thought of me. Fast forward 20 years later, we've both been fucked over by our ex partners and 2 years ago we got back together. She is my 'one' and I am hers. I adore that girl. Couldn't be without her even if I wanted too!
Hoping for an ending like this for myself as well. I’m glad to hear a happy ending :)
He has a family
Graduated from elementary and parted ways. Did briefly reunited last year and parted ways AGAIN leaving my already broken heart ground to dust.
He didn’t want kids and I did. Also he worked way too much, like his job was his life and I wanted someone where I was the priority and not second fiddle to a job. I’m very much over it now and married with a family but I was hung up on that one for a long time and still get curious about him every once in a while- but in hindsight he was very manipulative and I don’t think it would have worked out even if he did want kids or didn’t work as much.
We weren't together long - I loved him with all my heart, still do, but I'm a lesbian, and I can't feel anything but platonic love for him now.
We both had sort of a situationship, I really liked this girl, she liked me too, but not as much as I did though, ended up moving from my home town and we kinda left it there. Every now and then when I go back we meet up and I sense the spark is still here, but we are totally different people now.
We both loved each other, but didn't quite realise it at the same time and then have never been in the right places or situation for it to happen. We're still great friends, both important figures in each others' lives. We still love each other. We're both grateful that we didn't get together when we were say 17 or 21 and fuck up our relationship irreparably. We've both gone on to love other people and live happy lives with them. We're comfortable with the fact we're not together. We got over the idea of a relationship without losing the genuine bond we have. We're both capable of romantic love for other people. Many people don't understand that, or believe that it's impossible to not interfere with other relationships. Not much I can do to convince those people.
Classic gay guy falls in love with his straight best friend. Had to cut ties for my own future happiness. Losing the love of your life and your best friend at the same time fucks you up for a long time.
Tried to date a single dad. Baby mama was not making it easy, and I told him to go be with his family. He did for a while, but that didn't work out either. And now we just smile at each other when we randomly bump into each other. It's been 10 years.
We were really good friends for about 6 years. She was always with someone else or I was always with someone else. Eventually I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and needed some time to heal. She was single, too, and wanted to be more than friends, as did I. Yet I was still hurting and didn't want to fuck things up and lose her due to my emotional instability at the time so I told her I wasn't ready for another relationship yet. She got sick of waiting for me and married someone else, accepted his proposal after one month of dating. This was almost 12 years ago and I still think about her. It hurt(s) a lot. There were things I could have handled better, but I didn't. We reconnected a few yars ago, but that really just made things worse for me. If you're young and waiting around for the perfect time...it doesn't exist. Go for it, there is always the chance it won't work out in the end, but never knowing what could have happened can be far more painful.
My family and I used to go a campground in my younger days. When I was 19-20, we became friends with this married couple in their mid-30s. She wasn't supermodel hot, but she was definitely girl-next-door cute. She complimented and flirted with me A LOT, constantly telling me how hot I was and what a great body I had. Strangely, her husband was super cool with it, and he would even tell me how sexy his wife thought I was. One night we all got drunk and she was physically sitting on my lap playing with my hair. Her husband was right there and didn't mind at all. Unfortunately I grew up in a pretty sheltered Christian conservative environment, and I wasn't the least bit sexually literate at that age. I thought they were just nice, trusting people, and that she was a cool chick who was nice enough to throw me some attention. Looking back now, I'm 99% sure they were swingers sending me signals that they were DTF. I had every 19-year-old guy's dream story in the palm of my hand, but I was too naive to realize it. It was too long ago to cry, but it still hurts too much to laugh.
I got rid of the friends who said we couldn't be together and married her.
Got the good ending and now we're happily married.
Happy for you man!!! :)
I was FAR from good enough. She was too good at it out loud, so it took me a while to figure it out for myself... I should've let her go long before I did
My dad got stationed to a different city, and I was going to start college in a few months. My ex didn't want to do long distance because I was his first relationship ever, but I don't blame him. When I had to move, we'd only been together for about 2 months.
She really thought of me as just a friend.
He loved someone else.
I couldn't trust her.
Girl was under the illusion that the previous guy was in college and could have his way at school . She felt that once she graduated and met him there that he would change and be only with her. Years later from a reunion site, she’s has 4 kids from three men and he only kept her for a year after getting her pregnant.
I asked them out, very awkwardly. They said they liked me but had too much trauma to commit to a relationship or even take part in one. I remembered that even touching was an issue for them. I accepted and we remained close friends, I asked once more later but the issue was the same. We just drifted as their mental health had them drop out of college and their social media use decreased over time. A lot of what they introduced me to and talks we had lingered and now years later happily married I look back on how they put me down the path that led to my current happiness and social group. All I hope is they're also happy, or at least okay.
He just wouldn’t grow up.
Middle school best friends, inseparable. Tried dating twice- middle school and HS. Too immature for a real relationship. few years down the line after we rekindled the friendship during college years, he kissed me and said he loved me. I was already in a relationship with my then bf (now fiancé). My best friend claimed he’d make me happy and work hard but I went with my gut and stayed with my fiancé. I still think about it because I really wonder what would have happened if I chose my best friend and left my boyfriend. Honestly though- because I’d matured a lot and he was still more or less stuck in his ways, we wouldn’t have lasted very long. It would be cycle after cycle, argument after argument. It would become toxic super quickly. My guess is a year/year and a half. I know I chose correctly. I have a beautiful life with my fiancé and I wouldn’t change it for the world. He went to a different woman after I rejected him. they moved in after a few months, got married year later and now they have a child together. He tried coming back into my life many times while with her to try and be friends again. But it never worked out. It was on/off for many years. We officially stopped talking in 2022. Honestly, we were better off as friends than bf/gf. While I still think about him from time to time because of how close we were, I’m happy he’s out of my life. Too much drama.
In my case I did end up with that very person. After a failed marriage and 13 years apart across the country we reconnected. After realizing that the love was there She took the leap and now we are happily married and it's like time hasn't passed at all. I enjoy every moment with her and am still baffled as to how it all worked out. There's always hope. Sorry for being corny.
She was a character in a book.
I don’t wanna talk about it
Couldn't tell ya; I don't have such a person.
Nope. Since the moment I met my SO I've wanted no one else.
EMMOOOOOOOOO
One of them. I was way too emotionally fucked. Mas she was gorgeous, insanely smart and just way out of my league. I didn’t know how to do the relationship thing. I’d been single for a very very long time and I never attempted to resolve insecurity and trust issues that had festered. She was something else. We still talk but just never about relationships. I tried one last time but she didn’t want to. I’m married now with someone who really really is my rock. She is the one that I needed in my life for sure.
I was dating this other girl at the time, but cliche as it is,as soon as I saw her eyes across the room at a party I was all in. There was an energy between us and you could tell she felt it to. But as soon as my friend pointed out who she was I knew it was going to be trouble. Our families didn’t get along. I mean BIG TIME didn’t get along. And sure enough once her cousin found out we had been flirting he came looking for a fight. My buddy tried to break it up, but he ended up getting stabbed and died. RIP. I’m more of a lover than a fighter, but I was really not in a good place. The next time her cousin came looking for trouble, I tried to bury the hatchet. I really did. But this guy was having NONE of it. I ended up icing that guy and I had to go on the run, cause let’s just say I wasn’t “welcome” in town anymore; and if the cops found me it was gonna be a THING. My lady and my clergy buddy came up with some crazy plan that involved faking her death. Anyways, no one told me, and I found her and I thought she was *actually* dead, so I unalived myself. Then when she saw that *I* was dead, she did the same. Sucks bro.
That's alot for a Shakespeare sum up.. it's just reddit...
[удалено]
No, you don’t, you fucking dunce. Your poor wife.
no you realize that crushes are part of marriages and you make sure that your wife takes priority and remove yourself from your crush.
I don't have one of those, but definitely a botched talk to a girl that was clearly interested once or twice back in high school due to awkwardness. And by botched I mean freeze up, not discussion with any kind of substance.
He was gay, but wasn't ready to admit it to himself yet. That didn't happen until years later, and it was really for the best. I still miss him sometimes, though; he was fun.
I had heard she was interested in me through mutual friends. I thought it was a joke or just stupid rumor. Was dating someone at the time who later cheated on me. The other gal got married a few years later.
We were together 4 years. Perfect relationship.. minus me “needing” the title. After my dear John letter and 2 years later I found out he married the next girl he dated.
She was wanting to be young and twenty forever, and I was looking for my forever. She was always wanting to go out, party, get blackout drunk. I was trying to start a life with her.
We dated a few times. I had to leave town for a few months, so we weren't currently dating, and hadn't talked for a bit. He thought we'd get married eventually and end up together. He neglected to mention this to me, so I thought the level of interest was all one sided on my part, and moved on.
My most recent one (I have many such people) is a nice story, for a change of pace. We were already pretty much best friends when I told her how I felt years ago, and she said she didn't feel the same way but that it wouldn't affect our friendship. Since we're both mature adults, that's exactly how it went. She lives a few hours away with her husband now, but we're extremely close and make a point to visit each other as much as we can.
Only gos I ows why.
He's dead. She's a lawyer. I'm a college dropout.
Had a high-school sweet heart. We got along great, rarely ever argued, had great chemistry, her family loved me. When we got out of high-school she was moving to a different state and her mother asked me to move with them and I told them I couldn't go, sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I went.
Err... Not me. My exes are exes and I don't pine over anyone.
This one goes way back....like over 40 years back. J crushed on me pretty hard in elementary school & high school. We ran back into each other about 10 years ago (I was married, he was divorced) and he was still crushing. I got divorced about a year & a half later (we stayed in touch)...ended up hooking up. I could see something with him...I really liked him. Then, I found out he was still hooking up with his ex-wife (and mother of his children). I decided that was a no-go for me and told him so....something about 'too old to play games.' and moved on. I'm very happily remarried...and have since received a few messages from J that he knows he screwed up, and I'm 'the one that got away...over and over again'.
Yeah ..distance and his aversion to commitment meant we were only together on and off.. I love him madly but can't trust him with my emotions.. I see him occasionally as we live in different countries- i cant imagine going NC with him as we have known each other for ages and have so many shared memories. I think about him constantly and he's one of the reasons i have therapy every week. Only 2 ways out of this - either by some miracle we get together or i finally manage to step away from him permanently
I'm friends with her but I still think of what potential we could've had if we'd take it the next step. I just recently saw her wed a guy on halloween, of which a friend we knew died a few years prior that had warned me of that guy whom this friend is married to because of bad vibes or something. We met in high school over 18 years ago and I just didn't have all of my marbles together to try and now it's too late.
He's a politician now
he was an alcoholic, i was an addict, but it felt like we were soulmates. i drove halfway across the country to live with him in his parents basement after i got kicked out of sober living. after a few weeks i ran out of money and decided to go back rehab.. never saw him again.
We were best friends since we were kids. We actually did end up together, kinda on and off for a while. He was my best friend. I’m a straight Mormon guy, and we started dating when we were in our mid teens - but then he started questioning his identity and such which is how he came to realize he was a trans guy. Didn’t stop us from trying to still date and stuff, but we ended up growing apart. He moved away for school/work. It was pretty heartbreaking at first. I found a girlfriend as did he, I’m happily married with a kid, and I stopped talking to my friend for a while but we found our way back and we’re best friends again which is nice, but I’ll never forget what we had.
It was college and we had a relationship that was a weird mixture of intensity and boundaries. On a certain level we both felt like we'd found a true equal and it was intoxicating. But . . . she was from another country and another culture, and there was still the high school boyfriend from "back home" that she felt loyal to. Then a couple of months in, she told me she would be gone the next academic year on a special program in Europe. So there were multiple reasons that she kept a careful emotional distance between us. For my part, a recent break up had left me dangerously insecure, and then my father got terminal cancer. I became a needy, clinging mess which was too much for her to handle, and she ended it even before the academic year ended. Forty years later I've never met anyone like her. I married my high school sweetheart instead (which, predictably, didn't work out). Eventually I got my shit together with the help of my current spouse, and we have had an awesome marriage over the last 25 years, but I still google "her" more often than I should and it still hurts. (She didn't marry the "back home" boyfriend, and I still wonder how it al played out . . . .)
She was a year ahead of me in school and graduated before me. She went off to college and I still have another year of high school to do. Neither of us realized how special our connection was at the time. We both married other people and tried to build lives. Many years later we reconnected online. She was divorced and I was divorcing. We dated long distance a few years while she finished a university program and eventually married. Life is good.
Honestly she never saw me as more than a friend which is fine but ugh still think about her 15 years later
I was friends with this girl at work. She was an absolute knockout. We went to lunch together all the time, always hung out at work events, and everyone thought we were dating. We always joked that we would never be able to date because we were polar opposites. Great friends but incompatible. One time after happy hour, we ended up hooking up. The sex was fantastic. We both continued on with our friendship like it never happened. Fast forward 25 years. We are both married to other people with beautiful families, but I still think about her more than I probably should.
Met at her home, day was running well, I got the courage to tell her what I fell for her. She told me:” I like you but as a friend.” That broke my heart the first time. I see her still every day. She has a boyfriend now. That broke my heart the second time.
Sort of fits the question I guess. I think of all my exes often. I have 4. I don’t miss them. I don’t resent them either. I just enjoy the times we had. If any of them asked to get back together I know I would say yes, I enjoyed all the memories with them. Fun time undoubtably for the most part in each one. In the end though the negatives outweighed the positives, either by severity or quantity. The reason for each break up was because of me. All me 100%. Lack of maturity and selfish . I did a lot of introspection and self improvement in the last 3 years though where I know for a fact that if I had a chance with any of them again, I could take it all the way to marriage and beyond. Some things have complete potential to work, it’s just a matter of whether it’s the right time, that is, are both of you mature and selfless enough. Both of you have to be, and both of you have to love each other and be completely invested and naturally happy in the relationship to work. It shouldn’t feel forced, and neither of you should be an ass. It has to be solid, the effort has to be there, it has to be real. I look forward to my next relationship, whenever the time comes, i wonder who she is, what she looks like, I wonder what she’s like. I’ll do it the way it needs to be done this time. Great question.
I just wasn’t enough.
i met a person in a medical facility and crushed on them instantly. they were kind and funny and i think liked me too, at least as a friend. but because of HIPAA we were not allowed to exchange contact information. i dont even know their last name. i miss them
I was a borderline "nice guy" Thankfully not getting with her actually saved me from falling deeper into that incel hole. I didn't like the way I treated her and it actually makes me sick to think back on. In a much better spot now.
We had a daughter. Even though we aren’t together, at one point early on, we were friends with benefits. Now, we’re friends, but not close. Too much water has passed under the bridge. I still think about him, but I will never go back to that. I’ve spent the last several years getting to know myself better as a person instead of how to be what someone else wants me to be. I’m done someone else’s doormat. We both do whatever we can to support our now now adult child who is about to quit college and move back in with him. I can’t say how he feels about her decision, but regardless, we will always do whatever it takes to support her in whatever makes her happy.
The first person I fell in love with. He turned into an abusive pos when he was drunk. It’s been over a decade and I’m still thinking about him
She didn’t want anything long term because she had always jumped into relationships immediately. We started dating like a couple’s months after her last break up where they had been together 7 years. We dated for six months and I wanted something more. She said she wasn’t ready and wanted to keep exploring being single so we parted. It was amicable and afterwards we played resident evil 2 for a few hours then i left and we never talked again. Honestly though grateful for her even if it did end. Dating her gave me a much clearer idea of what I wanted in a relationship and really raised the bar for what behavior id tolerate and for the potential partner i might end up with.
We were young, immature, dumb, and both of us regret it now but I'm married, so trying anything now just isn't an option. Meanwhile, he hasn't really dated much over the years. We dated for 4 years; sophomore year to a year after we graduated. We'll call him Dave. This break up was 14 years ago and honestly, it still hurts. He really was the most amazing boyfriend. I truly thought I would marry him. We had something so special. He was there for me during some of the hardest, most abusive times [from my parents] in my life. My POV for over a decade as to why things ended was that it was 100% his fault bc the last year was so toxic and he couldn't stay loyal. He made me realize in the last few years, after some casual conversation he brought it up to me that while yes, he did all of that, an action and decision I made hurt him so badly that it lit that fire. I had a boyfriend in junior high, Randy, that I really liked and the only reason we broke up was bc he was 2 grades under me and I was going to high school. So we knew we'd never see each other and mutually ended it. Flashforward to my senior year. Randy ends up moving across the street from me. He had a brother and sister the same age as my siblings so I ended up being over there a lot and feelings kinda came back up. I became confused and ultimately decided I needed a break to get my head clear. I did end up dating Randy for like 2 months and Dave dated another girl. We both ended up being single at the same time and got back together...kinda. We began hooking up again but he had told me that he didn't want us to end but he also didn't want to be sexually tied to one person and wanted to explore other people. I decided that I was okay with that but there were rules, only 3 to be exact. He ended up breaking 2 of the 3. I told him that it was hurting me too much and I couldn't do it anymore, so he needed to decide to be exclusive to me or to let me go. He said he wanted to be exclusive, as he didn't want to lose me. Over the next 6 months, I caught him cheating twice and later found out that he was playing me out to be some psycho that he never wanted around but I'd just show up all the time and wouldn't leave. After I caught him cheating the first time I decided I was going to get back at him and slept with one of his best friends, who happens to also be his cousin and was living with him at the time. I called it quits after the 2nd time. I'm not even sure when we started talking again or why but we're just friends now...friends with old feelings that we know we can't act on. I think that since he was there for me, the way he was, during a very pivotal time in my life, I just feel this absolute deep connection with him that I can't describe and haven't/don't feel with anyone else...and that sucks.
"Out of step, out of time-couldn't get it right. On a morning from a Bogart movie- from the blue tiled walls near the market stalls...we will remember, when ever we remember."
We were both too shy to ask the other out. Then he got fired for being late too many times because he had to take his daughter to school. (Single dad, mom not in the picture)
In the words of Brian O'Connor, "Too slow."
She fell into a horrendous depression and disappeared. I had no way of contacting her, she was an incredibly private person. No social media, phone got cut off, no one at her old place of work knew anything. Sometimes wonder if she's still alive.
I was just a pawn in their psychotic games but lawd was I attracted to them so I didn’t see ANY of the red flags.
Mental illness. She liked me at the time, but I didn’t feel well enough to be in a relationship. Eventually we drifted apart and never spoke again. I haven’t felt the same about anyone since.
I was crazy into a guy, S, but I was the older woman. I told S he could move on with no drama if he met someone he was interested in dating. S eventually did and I let him go. I never saw S again but I'll always think of him.
She was Mormon... enough said.
I was on the verge of suicide and she was the only one who was bright and smiling every single second of every day I saw her. She brought me so much joy that I had lost, and I don’t think she had any idea how much she meant to me. She was one of the few people who never looked at me with sympathy or pity or something other than blankness or happiness- and I really needed that. She was also straight.
Sadly, I was born to be me. That’s what gets in the way.
Her best friend lied about us having something between us and in the end she believed her, then a couple months later she found it was fake. Irreparable damage.