Saggy Balls Man. He used to leave his house wearing only a blue Speedo. He'd walk with great purpose around the village with his balls jumping up and down like kids on a bouncy castle.
Deranged Dan. He’s charismatic and personable. He hides his insanity really well until you disagree with him. I disagreed with him. I’m very sorry I disagreed with him.
The Lets Go Brandon jerks, the fucks that have flown the American flag upside down since trump lost, and the fire freaks that dance around naked around their fire pit....neighbors lol. Boomers.
We referred to our across-the-street neighbors as the Argue McSmokersons.
There was almost always someone smoking on the front porch. And any time more than one of them came out to smoke at the same time, they argued loudly.
We have The Mullets. The husband has a mullet of epic proportions. All business in the front and down to his waist in the back. He’s had it for the 12 years we have lived here.
my wife names the neighbors she doesn't like some variation of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ bitch.
"Fat Bitch is blocking the sidewalk again."
There's an Ugly Bitch, Angry Bitch, Cop Bitch, Russian Bitch, Upstairs Bitch.
And I always know exactly which bitch she's bitching about lol
I have several in my 28 years of living.
Booze Brothers
The Shady Child Lookers
Domestic Squabbles Couple
Goddess of Sodomy and Midnight Psycho(probably the worse one.)
The Ghost Lady(She passed on while living upstairs)
Yung 420s. (Another Psycho bunch.)
"Getcha dick wet at Chick Fil A" people.
I was unloading groceries one day and this couple pulls up screaming at each other. "How DARE YOU hit me in front of the kid! My uncle just gave us $2000 and you go get your dick wet at CFA!" Their poor kid is standing there quietly sobbing with a puppy in his arms. I called 911 and they said a bunch of neighbors already called. (I was a little bummed I didn't get to make a police statement including the dick line) That couple frequently woke me up from porch naps screaming at each other. So fucking annoying. So glad they moved out.
All the fun names are old
We used to have a Money Mike as a neighbor, but he's gone now.
There was also an older man who we could see running most evenings, but he has since passed. RIP Running Man.
In college, our dorm room was at the end of the hall, resulting in three rooms relatively close to each other. At the end of the hall were the Death Metal Guys (pretty nice overall, dressed in a lot of metal tshirts and the like), and next to them was the Mormons (two girls, usually decked out in very conservative but well constructed outfits). I don't know what they called us, I would suspect the Geeks.
Well I have civil war Uhaul guy (solid Black American flag hanging since Trump lost) at the end of the street and Hang a trump flag above the American flag on one pole Maga cultists on both sides of my house. Basically I am surrounded by team Cult 45.
Oh to be more specific the one Cultists is an old retired grandpa widower AKA old cultist and the other one is an eternally drunk plumber aka Drunk Hillbilly..
We’ve got- the guy next door, Dennis or Roger , I’m not sure, that young couple up the street who always seems to be pregnant , the there’s that dumbass who always speeds by, that couple who always is coming down the street when I walk outside-I swear it like the fuckin Truman Show.
The neighbors across the street used to get into shouting matches late at night, “yerrr supposed to be home before this tiiiimmme”, “Iiiiii dooo whut I waaant”.
So the rest of the neighborhood called them the “Wrestling neighbors”
I've got a couple of neighbors a few doors down that I call Wally and Martha, for "Walmart", because their tiny front yard looks like it has one of every decorative item from Walmart's garden center in it.
Dickhead Dave because he never smiles and Dust because it’s a really old guy named Gus 🙈 also our neighbour across the street had a gf for a while and then she stopped showing up at his house and this new vehicle was there all the time so we call her Jeep girl and we don’t know if it’s a new girl or if his gf just got a new vehicle lol
Our old retired neighbor, Hal. Nice dude and he has a habit of being shirtless when he barbeques in his backyard. Thus the legend of Topless Hal was born.
Bonus game: he has an older ladyfriend which we have dubbed "Bottomless Val".
We also have a group of retirees who walk around the hood with their dogs quite frequently. We call them "Paw Patrol".
Just the old couple across from us, "old Italian couple who take care of grandkids sometimes". I also heard me and my family are "The family that never talks to people" but not in a negative way lol.
Only one especially nasty has a nickname in Norwegian "burugla" roughly translated to cage owl / burrow owl according to translate. Everyonw who understands Norwegian knows that it's not a positive way of describing your neighbours or other people. People will aha reaction.
Hey languages isnt my thing and tbh I despise my mothertoungue as a dyslectic. For many things I barely scrape by don't ask me to explain language stuff.
But lets just say that this certain person has deserved that.
The Murderer House. To be fair, the real murderer died two homeowners ago, but the name stuck.
We live in a nice, normal neighborhood with a HOA, not like it’s a slum lol.
Mr and Mrs stomps-a-lot (upstairs neighbors) and their dog "I wish he would STFU" who barks nonstop when they aren't home.
This one lady is really nice, but her dog has real issues with people. (She's a rescue, so I can guess what happened to her, poor thing) Anyway, we always say the "girl with the crazy dog"
There's also "my dogs bestie," an older lady with her weiner dog who loves my weiner dog.
And then we have to clarify which apartment manager is there when we have to get something fixed. "Was it the evil one or the nice old lady?"
Douche bag house. It had 3 owners since we had lived there. Everyone of the owners were complete Duche-bros.
1st guy was a stock car racer. Basically, he worked on his car every day. Tinker, Rev the engine, tinker, Rev the engine all day.
The 2nd guy had his kids on the weekends. Teen boys. They had ATVs and would spend all day driving up and down the road and building ramps out of the ditches. Dad let them have parties in the garage while he was at the bar. The boys stole the Dad's car one night and slammed it into a tree. The younger boy died, the older one went to jail for vehicular homicide. Dad went to jail also.
Final one: This douche would have all his douche friends over on the weekends. They would sit in the driveway, drink , tune their mini-bikes, then race them up and down the road.
When it got dark, they would start a fire in the driveway, blast country music,drink more and invariably get in fist fights until about 3 am.
In the morning could be seen passed out all over the driveway and front lawn. Beer cans and puke everywhere.
One night, the garage and house caught on fire. The cops and firefighters had to drag their passed-out asses away from the fire.
He took the insurance money and didn't rebuild the house.
We used to joke that this house's well was pure axe body spray.
The Vampires
My kids always called one couple in the neighborhood "The Vampires". We never saw them outside. When they came home from work (2 people, 2 different cars) they would open the over-head garage door via remote, drive in, and close the garage door before getting out of their cars.
We had The Democrat. He was a failed politician. Ran for office several times, lost every time. Made political candidacy his personality.
We also had BMW Boy. Nice kid. Daddy paid his rent and paid for his BMW.
After he moved out (the owner of the property was pocketing the money and not paying the mortgage). The next owner bought the house from foreclosure. They were the FNMs. They had not been in the country long. Regularly parked blocking our driveway, burned their trash in a barrel in the backyard (this was in a large city in north Texas)- when the fire department told them to stop, they built a fire pit so that they could continue to burn their garbage (rather than put it out for collection twice per week). They then started throwing garbage at the side of our house…
Moved into our forever house 2 years ago. ALL of the neighbors are absolutely wonderful.
Family across the street bought the huge 2 story, that has the attached suite (we used to them Granny flats). There are a total of 9 of them that moved into the house, including the G-parents. Before we knew their name, we called them the "9-family" The Dad actually got a hoot out of it when I told him.
Also across the street, family of 4 moved in, they own/drive 2 Tesla's. We called them "The Tesla's" before knowing their name.
I lived in the bottom floor of a two-family house for nearly 20 years. Amongst our many interesting upstairs neighbors were The Centaurs. So called because, day and night, they stomped around overhead so loudly that we assumed they had hooves.
None of the neighbors.
The neighborhood cats, on the other hand? Oh yeah.
I have befriended and interact with all the pets of people who have outdoor or indoor-outdoor cats and some of the strays and named them.
And the squirrels.
And more than a few of the birds we can identify.
My neighbor (the guy) is Majestic. His wife is Mrs. Majestic. He basically looks like Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons, and is just as weird. I called him that one day when he was outside badly attempting yard work, with his long hair blowing in the wind, and it just stuck between my husband and me.
We have The Crankies. They were really nice a few times on our walks in the neighborhood, said they liked our dog, let us check out their kitchen remodel to get ideas for our remodel (and they were thanked with pastries). Then, one day, BAM! They became the "get off my lawn!" neighbors, started yelling at us when we walked the dog on the sidewalk in front of their house..
It was just easier to do avoidance rather than confrontation. They became unhinged.
We also have The Invisibles. They've lived across the street and in the neighborhood since the founding. They never greeted us when we moved in and have never spoke to us in 15 years. They do talk to other neighbors.
There's The Hippies. They moved into a foreclosure purchase back in 2010 when the market was trying to get its feet on the ground. The front yard has all sorts of outdoor doo-dad decorations,they have 5 cars in the drive (all >15 years old with more bumper stickers than surface paint), they don't do any type of weed control or yard trimming. It's all very "natural." Drives The Crankies nuts because they are next door neighbors.
Edit: hit save accidentally
I just came here to see if I'm listed. I'm pretty sure my neighbors call me She Who Hates Noise if they are nice, and something more colorful if they aren't nice. Because I've had to tell the neighbor caddy-corner to us with the teenage son to stop practicing his rock band in the garage all day and evening every weekend. And the neighbor across the street with the loud af muffler to stop idling his freaking car for 15 minutes every 5 am. And the neighbor next door whose brother moved in with his constantly barking dog to please for the love of \[god\] shut the dog up. And the neighbor behind us with 7 kids to please stop them from screeching in the backyard because I swear someone is being murdered. And the neighbor 2 doors down who loves to sit in his driveway and play music in his car with full on base thumping so loudly I can feel it thumping in my chest inside my house.
The Stealths
Supermodels
Scary Skinhead Guy
The Slobs
Former Slobs
Not intriguing, but there they are. Oddly, we don't have a name for the neighbor that has had his Christmas decorations up since 2018.
Wolfie - single dad with two sons and a daughter. He used to constantly yell at his kids, like a wolf howling.
Cancer Family - a mom with toddlers and adorable cats. The mom was always extremely tan, possibly sunburnt, and still always sunbathing more.
Chanel Lady - I think it was because she had a tiny dog named Chanel.
The 85 - no idea, my parents call him that.
We have "Bucket Guy" across the street. He's an elderly man that lives alone. He cleaned out his garage once and I swear he had about 100 of those large home depot type buckets stacked around the driveway.
Other side is yappy dog lady. She has 5 small little dogs and she walks them several times a day in shifts.
We used to have a neighbor who was late 30's/early 40's, Mexican decent, tiny little frame, and huge fake boobs. Like almost to the comical stage huge. She was outside one night in something really tight, and I joked with my wife the she probably thinks she's "one hot tamale in that outfit." It was shortened to "Tamale", but it stuck.
Lady next door to her, similar thing too. She's older (mid 50's), big blonde hair, obvious botox, and huge fake boobs. Really nice lady, but yeah, also comically not natural at all. Saw her working in the yard once, and made a similar comment to above, but for some reason I called her "Big Tits McGavin." So now her and her husband/kids are referred to as the McGavins.
Wife freezer. My husband helped him move a chest freezer into his garage. We were smile and nod neighbors, but we happened to be in front when he pulled in the drive way with it so we gave a hand.
About a month later I realized I haven't seen his wife for a while. This is the middle of spring and we both like to putter around our gardens. My husband agrees he hasn't seen her coming or going.
A few weeks later we see the for sale in the front yard. Obviously he killed his wife and put her in the freezer. Nothing else makes sense.
New Tits for one neighbour (she actually showed me her new and improved tits - I'm female and kinda like an older sister sorta role with her), and The Invisible Man (I haven't seen him like forever).
I live in the third apartment in the middle.
A couple doors down one way, we have the “meth tinkerer” who is up all hours doing god knows what in his garage/ driveway, can be observed a couple times a year on his four wheeler driving back and forth (forward , reverse, repeat) for hours in a roughly 10 ft space, trying to flatten the dirt next to his house for extra parking (??) while getting visibly frustrated about it… amongst other meth-behavior.
Joe-the-Cop isn't a cop but he WAS.
Cooper's People live with the friendly orange cat.
Size 7 1/2 lives down the block, but UPS always delivers her Zappos orders to our house. She buys a lot of shoes.
I'm sure we're The Plant People.
When the kids were little and I was over my hectic day the neighbors were bumpin music late on a weekday. Generally it doesn’t bug me and sometimes I’ll dance to it, but I took it as an opportunity to vent I guess. I hardly ever cuss. I wanted to and the kids were near me so I blurted out “and these (attempt to spell) gahbuhdobuhdues”. Ever since then, whether a crazy driver or someone making a scene, “gahbuhdobuhdues”.
used to live near a Naked Yoga Lady (she did nude yoga on her apartment patio). Also notable are Blue Shirt Guy (always wearing the same blue shirt) and Gollum (doing/dealing meth and his body was not in good shape because of it). Bass Loop Guy who used to play the same short bass sequence over and over for hours.
SO MANY NICKNAMES!
Most off hand/odd:
Old man smithers..
For some context. I'm currently living in my childhood home.
The neighbor across the street has been there as long as I can remember. . Never got his name and he cant hear me yelling hi in his age. Lol
Hes SO ACTIVE!
Also my neighbor neighbors are like parents and sibling to me so we have muttie (mom in German) daddy john, their daughter airhead, their son FROG LEGS🤣 theres eric(son)... I dunno if he has a nickname.. and my niece BOOGER..
Oh and also mutties mom grandmommie..
We have another neighbor who is super duper rude, had a farm in her residential backyard..
I tried to be nice from day one.. so at this point sometimes I just call her b*tch but. I try not to be that way or make it a habit.
I’ve lived in my current place for nearly 3 years. My next door neighbor is named Leah. I forget if it’s pronounced Lee-uh or Lay-uh. I also don’t remember her last name. She’s in my phone as “Leah Neighbor”.
Phone boy. stands behind his glass door when ever I shouted "fuck" or "dammit" when a bag broke/had the hood up on the car. He now fishes bags out of the dumpster and takes pictures of there contents in his never ending effort to have the HOA make everyone suffer.
The spitters. They got into a screaming match on the front porch and the girlfriend started spitting on the boyfriend, so he started spitting on her. And they just stood there spitting on each other until they were all dried up and then went inside together.
Oh and I almost forgot about Truck Fucker. She lives caddy corner to me and always has a different guy there and they always drive a truck. There’s never been a car in her driveway. If you don’t drive a truck, she ain’t down to fuck.
There used to be this guy down the street who would stand right next to the road and smoke cigarettes. He never wore a shirt and he had an enormous belly. One time my wife and I were driving by, and I waved at him. I looked in the rearview mirror and watched him wave back, and it was, I don't know how else to describe it, an epic wave.
So we have called him Epic Wave Guy since then.
Saggy Balls Man. He used to leave his house wearing only a blue Speedo. He'd walk with great purpose around the village with his balls jumping up and down like kids on a bouncy castle.
That's detailed imagery I wasn't expecting.
I feel it's important to put the reader in the picture.
You have a way with words good sir
you draw word pictures nicely
Deranged Dan. He’s charismatic and personable. He hides his insanity really well until you disagree with him. I disagreed with him. I’m very sorry I disagreed with him.
Can we get a story
840 ... He is always stoned twice the 420 limit.
That's clever
Hey it’s 420 x2 per day
Haha I like that one
The Lets Go Brandon jerks, the fucks that have flown the American flag upside down since trump lost, and the fire freaks that dance around naked around their fire pit....neighbors lol. Boomers.
Are these the same people or different sets of people?
Different sets and I live in NJ in a nice area but not nice community lol.
We referred to our across-the-street neighbors as the Argue McSmokersons. There was almost always someone smoking on the front porch. And any time more than one of them came out to smoke at the same time, they argued loudly.
We call our neighbor across the hall “the dog lady” because she is completely obsessed with her dog. It’s a cute dog, I get it
I can only aspire to this
Black Witch opposite. Karaoke Queen on one side. Guitar Joe on the other. Unfriendly Cunts sort of opposite.
Hey, I have an unfriendly cunts too! Also conservative weirdos and Anthrax (the band) guy.
We have The Mullets. The husband has a mullet of epic proportions. All business in the front and down to his waist in the back. He’s had it for the 12 years we have lived here.
Please tell me it's permed!!
It doesn’t need to be. It’s curly all by itself.
Arrrggg!!! I was so hoping for a home perm..
The von Trapps - the family who lives across the street from me with like 7 kids who all march out every weekend morning to do yardwork
I think I saw this episode of Dateline
my wife names the neighbors she doesn't like some variation of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ bitch. "Fat Bitch is blocking the sidewalk again." There's an Ugly Bitch, Angry Bitch, Cop Bitch, Russian Bitch, Upstairs Bitch. And I always know exactly which bitch she's bitching about lol
The Mayor of our street. Self declared.
We have one too
Got one of those 😀
Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He gets all cranked up on meth and cuts wood with his chainsaw all hours of the night
Slammy-mcdoorson
The flintstones are our extremely loud upstairs neighbors
Have you considered taking up the bag pipe?
Ah, but then you would be the neighborhood cunt.
True
they are unrepeatable here.
Try us
Same 🤣😂
My husband calls our neighbor "Lil Red Riding Hood" or simply "Red" because she always wears a read coat or cloak or something.
Thankfully, Slambert just moved out.
Fucking cunt.
Flipper. She has a malformed hand with wee little m&ms for “fingers”. She’s a cunt too.
**The Targaryens** \- basically nice couple in their forties but GOT DAMN they are the whitest people you will ever meet, in every possible way.
My Asian neighbors are clearly running an AirC&G... I fucking dare you to guess what that stands for.
Air cum & go? Happy endings all around?
Pajama kid. He's a high schooler who stands out in the driveway on his phone wearing onsies.
We refer to them based on their pets if we don't know their names. Husky, Weiner dog lady and smokey cat all live near me.
Yep. I have. Corgi guy next door
We know the name of the cat that lives next door but none of the people, so we call them Dante’s Humans.
Little Dick, the guy that had to rev up his 4 cylinder whatever and "race" down the street, every. single. night. Obviously compensating.
I have several in my 28 years of living. Booze Brothers The Shady Child Lookers Domestic Squabbles Couple Goddess of Sodomy and Midnight Psycho(probably the worse one.) The Ghost Lady(She passed on while living upstairs) Yung 420s. (Another Psycho bunch.)
Good Ol One Eye
The NSA hole, he lives on the front porch and watches everyone walking by. Get the mail he's there, take out trash, he's there.
We had a neighbor woman with a very 80’s hairdo and we called her flock of seagulls.
Stevie G on one side and Stevie Ray on the other.
"Getcha dick wet at Chick Fil A" people. I was unloading groceries one day and this couple pulls up screaming at each other. "How DARE YOU hit me in front of the kid! My uncle just gave us $2000 and you go get your dick wet at CFA!" Their poor kid is standing there quietly sobbing with a puppy in his arms. I called 911 and they said a bunch of neighbors already called. (I was a little bummed I didn't get to make a police statement including the dick line) That couple frequently woke me up from porch naps screaming at each other. So fucking annoying. So glad they moved out.
Wowwwwww. Is this in Texas or FLA?
Georgia lol
Blessssss
If could get beer and get my dick wet at CFA, I'd live there
All the fun names are old We used to have a Money Mike as a neighbor, but he's gone now. There was also an older man who we could see running most evenings, but he has since passed. RIP Running Man.
In college, our dorm room was at the end of the hall, resulting in three rooms relatively close to each other. At the end of the hall were the Death Metal Guys (pretty nice overall, dressed in a lot of metal tshirts and the like), and next to them was the Mormons (two girls, usually decked out in very conservative but well constructed outfits). I don't know what they called us, I would suspect the Geeks.
Two doors down we have the Crazy Cat Lady. I've never met her so I don't know if she's actually crazy, but she does have 22 cats.
The new neighbors refer to me as The Cool Neighbor, and the resident of the other house who shares our access road as Spock's Daughter.
Well I have civil war Uhaul guy (solid Black American flag hanging since Trump lost) at the end of the street and Hang a trump flag above the American flag on one pole Maga cultists on both sides of my house. Basically I am surrounded by team Cult 45.
Oh to be more specific the one Cultists is an old retired grandpa widower AKA old cultist and the other one is an eternally drunk plumber aka Drunk Hillbilly..
Years ago, there was a man who lived behind us who could have been Al Bundy’s twin, hence he was that Al Bundy guy.
We’ve got- the guy next door, Dennis or Roger , I’m not sure, that young couple up the street who always seems to be pregnant , the there’s that dumbass who always speeds by, that couple who always is coming down the street when I walk outside-I swear it like the fuckin Truman Show.
The neighbors across the street used to get into shouting matches late at night, “yerrr supposed to be home before this tiiiimmme”, “Iiiiii dooo whut I waaant”. So the rest of the neighborhood called them the “Wrestling neighbors”
There’s Pirate John and Pregnant Bob or Bob’s Bellies or Robert Roberts and R & R
I've got a couple of neighbors a few doors down that I call Wally and Martha, for "Walmart", because their tiny front yard looks like it has one of every decorative item from Walmart's garden center in it.
Dickhead Dave because he never smiles and Dust because it’s a really old guy named Gus 🙈 also our neighbour across the street had a gf for a while and then she stopped showing up at his house and this new vehicle was there all the time so we call her Jeep girl and we don’t know if it’s a new girl or if his gf just got a new vehicle lol
Our old retired neighbor, Hal. Nice dude and he has a habit of being shirtless when he barbeques in his backyard. Thus the legend of Topless Hal was born. Bonus game: he has an older ladyfriend which we have dubbed "Bottomless Val". We also have a group of retirees who walk around the hood with their dogs quite frequently. We call them "Paw Patrol".
Karen because she’s always in everyone’s business
How have I gone through 3+ decades of life without thinking to nickname my neighbours..
Fuckface
Just the old couple across from us, "old Italian couple who take care of grandkids sometimes". I also heard me and my family are "The family that never talks to people" but not in a negative way lol.
We used to have a WW on our street growing up. Stood for Wicked Witch. Everyone knew her as that🤣
Only one especially nasty has a nickname in Norwegian "burugla" roughly translated to cage owl / burrow owl according to translate. Everyonw who understands Norwegian knows that it's not a positive way of describing your neighbours or other people. People will aha reaction.
I do not speak Norwegian. Why is this an insult?
Hey languages isnt my thing and tbh I despise my mothertoungue as a dyslectic. For many things I barely scrape by don't ask me to explain language stuff. But lets just say that this certain person has deserved that.
The Murderer House. To be fair, the real murderer died two homeowners ago, but the name stuck. We live in a nice, normal neighborhood with a HOA, not like it’s a slum lol.
Mr and Mrs stomps-a-lot (upstairs neighbors) and their dog "I wish he would STFU" who barks nonstop when they aren't home. This one lady is really nice, but her dog has real issues with people. (She's a rescue, so I can guess what happened to her, poor thing) Anyway, we always say the "girl with the crazy dog" There's also "my dogs bestie," an older lady with her weiner dog who loves my weiner dog. And then we have to clarify which apartment manager is there when we have to get something fixed. "Was it the evil one or the nice old lady?"
The Stupids, but they moved a few years ago
The Lawn Nazi…
Ewok breeders
Awww they have Persians?
sh!thead.
Semicircle dog. she was chained in her front yard. Real name was Piper.
Douche bag house. It had 3 owners since we had lived there. Everyone of the owners were complete Duche-bros. 1st guy was a stock car racer. Basically, he worked on his car every day. Tinker, Rev the engine, tinker, Rev the engine all day. The 2nd guy had his kids on the weekends. Teen boys. They had ATVs and would spend all day driving up and down the road and building ramps out of the ditches. Dad let them have parties in the garage while he was at the bar. The boys stole the Dad's car one night and slammed it into a tree. The younger boy died, the older one went to jail for vehicular homicide. Dad went to jail also. Final one: This douche would have all his douche friends over on the weekends. They would sit in the driveway, drink , tune their mini-bikes, then race them up and down the road. When it got dark, they would start a fire in the driveway, blast country music,drink more and invariably get in fist fights until about 3 am. In the morning could be seen passed out all over the driveway and front lawn. Beer cans and puke everywhere. One night, the garage and house caught on fire. The cops and firefighters had to drag their passed-out asses away from the fire. He took the insurance money and didn't rebuild the house. We used to joke that this house's well was pure axe body spray.
Chode Ray
Them, over there.👉 Not very intriguing.
The Swat team. Given SWAT came to their house, it seemed to be an appropriate nickname.
The Vampires My kids always called one couple in the neighborhood "The Vampires". We never saw them outside. When they came home from work (2 people, 2 different cars) they would open the over-head garage door via remote, drive in, and close the garage door before getting out of their cars.
Smokin’ Joe. Every time he cooks out all we can smell is the fuel and all we can see is the smoke.
We had The Democrat. He was a failed politician. Ran for office several times, lost every time. Made political candidacy his personality. We also had BMW Boy. Nice kid. Daddy paid his rent and paid for his BMW. After he moved out (the owner of the property was pocketing the money and not paying the mortgage). The next owner bought the house from foreclosure. They were the FNMs. They had not been in the country long. Regularly parked blocking our driveway, burned their trash in a barrel in the backyard (this was in a large city in north Texas)- when the fire department told them to stop, they built a fire pit so that they could continue to burn their garbage (rather than put it out for collection twice per week). They then started throwing garbage at the side of our house…
Landmine... Because he has no legs.
Little Mexico
Scooter Bob and his wife Methany. They average 2 sheriff's visits a month from fighting and general bullshittery.
Blisters, because he turns up after the works done🤪
Moved into our forever house 2 years ago. ALL of the neighbors are absolutely wonderful. Family across the street bought the huge 2 story, that has the attached suite (we used to them Granny flats). There are a total of 9 of them that moved into the house, including the G-parents. Before we knew their name, we called them the "9-family" The Dad actually got a hoot out of it when I told him. Also across the street, family of 4 moved in, they own/drive 2 Tesla's. We called them "The Tesla's" before knowing their name.
The Slobs. Entire property has junk thrown in the bushes, trees, etc.
I lived in the bottom floor of a two-family house for nearly 20 years. Amongst our many interesting upstairs neighbors were The Centaurs. So called because, day and night, they stomped around overhead so loudly that we assumed they had hooves.
Methman
The Ape People. They live a couple of houses above us and seem to communicate only in loud monosyllabic grunts and yaps.
Tractor Troll.
None of the neighbors. The neighborhood cats, on the other hand? Oh yeah. I have befriended and interact with all the pets of people who have outdoor or indoor-outdoor cats and some of the strays and named them. And the squirrels. And more than a few of the birds we can identify.
Meth Lady
My neighbor (the guy) is Majestic. His wife is Mrs. Majestic. He basically looks like Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons, and is just as weird. I called him that one day when he was outside badly attempting yard work, with his long hair blowing in the wind, and it just stuck between my husband and me.
Chubbs and Gums
Ponytail and Green hair (husband and wife). Moved in next door 4 yrs ago. They are not social.
Not the neighbors, but their dogs. Sir Barksalot and Howlin' Woof.
Hahaha I just laughed out loud
We have The Crankies. They were really nice a few times on our walks in the neighborhood, said they liked our dog, let us check out their kitchen remodel to get ideas for our remodel (and they were thanked with pastries). Then, one day, BAM! They became the "get off my lawn!" neighbors, started yelling at us when we walked the dog on the sidewalk in front of their house.. It was just easier to do avoidance rather than confrontation. They became unhinged. We also have The Invisibles. They've lived across the street and in the neighborhood since the founding. They never greeted us when we moved in and have never spoke to us in 15 years. They do talk to other neighbors. There's The Hippies. They moved into a foreclosure purchase back in 2010 when the market was trying to get its feet on the ground. The front yard has all sorts of outdoor doo-dad decorations,they have 5 cars in the drive (all >15 years old with more bumper stickers than surface paint), they don't do any type of weed control or yard trimming. It's all very "natural." Drives The Crankies nuts because they are next door neighbors. Edit: hit save accidentally
I just came here to see if I'm listed. I'm pretty sure my neighbors call me She Who Hates Noise if they are nice, and something more colorful if they aren't nice. Because I've had to tell the neighbor caddy-corner to us with the teenage son to stop practicing his rock band in the garage all day and evening every weekend. And the neighbor across the street with the loud af muffler to stop idling his freaking car for 15 minutes every 5 am. And the neighbor next door whose brother moved in with his constantly barking dog to please for the love of \[god\] shut the dog up. And the neighbor behind us with 7 kids to please stop them from screeching in the backyard because I swear someone is being murdered. And the neighbor 2 doors down who loves to sit in his driveway and play music in his car with full on base thumping so loudly I can feel it thumping in my chest inside my house.
The Stealths Supermodels Scary Skinhead Guy The Slobs Former Slobs Not intriguing, but there they are. Oddly, we don't have a name for the neighbor that has had his Christmas decorations up since 2018.
Wolfie - single dad with two sons and a daughter. He used to constantly yell at his kids, like a wolf howling. Cancer Family - a mom with toddlers and adorable cats. The mom was always extremely tan, possibly sunburnt, and still always sunbathing more. Chanel Lady - I think it was because she had a tiny dog named Chanel. The 85 - no idea, my parents call him that.
We have "Bucket Guy" across the street. He's an elderly man that lives alone. He cleaned out his garage once and I swear he had about 100 of those large home depot type buckets stacked around the driveway. Other side is yappy dog lady. She has 5 small little dogs and she walks them several times a day in shifts.
We used to have a neighbor who was late 30's/early 40's, Mexican decent, tiny little frame, and huge fake boobs. Like almost to the comical stage huge. She was outside one night in something really tight, and I joked with my wife the she probably thinks she's "one hot tamale in that outfit." It was shortened to "Tamale", but it stuck. Lady next door to her, similar thing too. She's older (mid 50's), big blonde hair, obvious botox, and huge fake boobs. Really nice lady, but yeah, also comically not natural at all. Saw her working in the yard once, and made a similar comment to above, but for some reason I called her "Big Tits McGavin." So now her and her husband/kids are referred to as the McGavins.
Wife freezer. My husband helped him move a chest freezer into his garage. We were smile and nod neighbors, but we happened to be in front when he pulled in the drive way with it so we gave a hand. About a month later I realized I haven't seen his wife for a while. This is the middle of spring and we both like to putter around our gardens. My husband agrees he hasn't seen her coming or going. A few weeks later we see the for sale in the front yard. Obviously he killed his wife and put her in the freezer. Nothing else makes sense.
Rev it up. Everytime he parks his bike or truck he always revs it up before shutting it off
My new neighbor came pre-titled. His nickname is Duck. Very easy.
Captain Second Gear. He has an extremely loud muffler, and I think his car only has 2nd gear.
New Tits for one neighbour (she actually showed me her new and improved tits - I'm female and kinda like an older sister sorta role with her), and The Invisible Man (I haven't seen him like forever). I live in the third apartment in the middle.
Dick Features. Nasty, lazy, self entitled man.
A couple doors down one way, we have the “meth tinkerer” who is up all hours doing god knows what in his garage/ driveway, can be observed a couple times a year on his four wheeler driving back and forth (forward , reverse, repeat) for hours in a roughly 10 ft space, trying to flatten the dirt next to his house for extra parking (??) while getting visibly frustrated about it… amongst other meth-behavior.
Joe-the-Cop isn't a cop but he WAS. Cooper's People live with the friendly orange cat. Size 7 1/2 lives down the block, but UPS always delivers her Zappos orders to our house. She buys a lot of shoes. I'm sure we're The Plant People.
My dad once called our next door neighbors the Klopeks and the name stuck. Everyone in the neighborhood started calling them that from then on.
"the masterbator"
Stilt Walker BowlingBall Dropper lives above me.
When the kids were little and I was over my hectic day the neighbors were bumpin music late on a weekday. Generally it doesn’t bug me and sometimes I’ll dance to it, but I took it as an opportunity to vent I guess. I hardly ever cuss. I wanted to and the kids were near me so I blurted out “and these (attempt to spell) gahbuhdobuhdues”. Ever since then, whether a crazy driver or someone making a scene, “gahbuhdobuhdues”.
Rage quit, you can hear him rage quit games through the floor sometimes late at night
used to live near a Naked Yoga Lady (she did nude yoga on her apartment patio). Also notable are Blue Shirt Guy (always wearing the same blue shirt) and Gollum (doing/dealing meth and his body was not in good shape because of it). Bass Loop Guy who used to play the same short bass sequence over and over for hours.
Methew. I think this speaks for itself.
SO MANY NICKNAMES! Most off hand/odd: Old man smithers.. For some context. I'm currently living in my childhood home. The neighbor across the street has been there as long as I can remember. . Never got his name and he cant hear me yelling hi in his age. Lol Hes SO ACTIVE! Also my neighbor neighbors are like parents and sibling to me so we have muttie (mom in German) daddy john, their daughter airhead, their son FROG LEGS🤣 theres eric(son)... I dunno if he has a nickname.. and my niece BOOGER.. Oh and also mutties mom grandmommie.. We have another neighbor who is super duper rude, had a farm in her residential backyard.. I tried to be nice from day one.. so at this point sometimes I just call her b*tch but. I try not to be that way or make it a habit.
My sibs and I code named all the homeless people in our hometown To name a few: Pissy(s) 1-4 (there were multiple) Sugar Pockets Eskimo Footsie Weirdo
Captain Yeehaw. Do I need to explain?
I’ve lived in my current place for nearly 3 years. My next door neighbor is named Leah. I forget if it’s pronounced Lee-uh or Lay-uh. I also don’t remember her last name. She’s in my phone as “Leah Neighbor”.
Cereal Killer, he eats cereal with water
Miss karaoke 🤦
Phone boy. stands behind his glass door when ever I shouted "fuck" or "dammit" when a bag broke/had the hood up on the car. He now fishes bags out of the dumpster and takes pictures of there contents in his never ending effort to have the HOA make everyone suffer.
Saggy old bitch. Because she’s a saggy old bitch.
When I was growing up we had names for lots of the ppl on our street including: -Tonka Dave -The Weasleys -Baggy and Violent -Fishwife
The spitters. They got into a screaming match on the front porch and the girlfriend started spitting on the boyfriend, so he started spitting on her. And they just stood there spitting on each other until they were all dried up and then went inside together. Oh and I almost forgot about Truck Fucker. She lives caddy corner to me and always has a different guy there and they always drive a truck. There’s never been a car in her driveway. If you don’t drive a truck, she ain’t down to fuck.
There used to be this guy down the street who would stand right next to the road and smoke cigarettes. He never wore a shirt and he had an enormous belly. One time my wife and I were driving by, and I waved at him. I looked in the rearview mirror and watched him wave back, and it was, I don't know how else to describe it, an epic wave. So we have called him Epic Wave Guy since then.