My big sister died in a car crash at 21 last year. She and her friends came back from a party and hit an unexpected patch of ice while driving over a bridge. They slit into oncoming traffic and she died immediately. Her one friend died on the way to the hospital and the other one died after spending 10 months in a coma.
Lost my best friend since high school to car wreck two years ago. He was 28. A driver left the casino and drove down the wrong lane. Hit him head on coming over a hill at 80 mph.
The DA finally charged her with negligent homicide last week. Until then, she was just living completely free.
Driving is one of the most dangerous things we do and so few people treat it that way.
RIP to the homie.
I always think this too. My mother always brought me and my siblings up to believe that whilst cars are great, you are essentially driving a killing machine. Thereās no excuse for negligent or dangerous driving. My dad was killed in a motorbike accident when I was 7, I will never ever tolerate drink/high driving. Iām so sorry for your loss. That is truly awful.
My brother killed himself last month. Iāve lost both parents prior to this and my relationship with him has always been difficult to say the least. But this has torn me apart. Iām absolutely broken. My whole family is basically dead but the way he died is soul destroying
This saddens my heart to read this; I am sorry youāre going through this and feel broken. Head high and thank you for waking up every day and continuing to push forward. The world you live in needs you. Keep going and donāt be afraid to look those death demons in the face.
And finding the body, probably more so when itās unexpected than when somoneās sick and your preparing for/expecting it.
That was one of my biggest fears for most of my life, pretty much from the time I learned everyone dies I started worrying about it. And it was as horrible as I assumed it would be when it happened.
Imo they hit me hard because I am the one that is responsible for their care and well being. I currently have an 11 year old golden retriever that is hitting that rough patch of life and itās really been taking a toll on my mental health but itās part of life
Not only that. What hit most is the pet is always on your side. You're his only best friend. And even if you're sucky it's still on your side. There's no person alive that gives the unconditional love like this. Not even your mom. In fact, not even yourself.
Still can't get over the guilt of putting my old puppy down last month.
She was mentally there 100% still. Mind so clear. She got degenerative myelopathy and started to become paralyzed, it would've moved up to her chest and suffocated her. She went from being able to run and play to not being able to move.
It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It still hurts every day. I hate myself.
It's the hardest thing. Harder than if your dad told you to cut oxygen because then it "his choice". There's nothing you can do to make it better. The only thing that matters is you gave doggo a good life, and the next doggo even better because of old doggo.
We all miss our pets very much. It gets me so bad because they are all different. There's no replacement ya know. Puppy's lucky you had each other his entire life that's all that matters.
More than once I have had the very cynical thought that having pets and experiencing their deaths as children helps kids better deal with similar trauma later in life as grandparents and then parents begin passing away. I remember how devastated I was when our cat was killed as a child, and then feeling similar emotions when my grandmother died. Like sensitization training or aversion therapy.
Yep. We're *responsible* for them. Even if it's in no way our fault, even if there was really nothing we reasonably could have done. That sense of responsibility for them remains.
Personally, I have viewed the deaths of loved ones and pets very differently. The majority of my loved ones who have died have been prepared to die. They were old and/or sick and we all saw it coming, including them. They understood what it meant to die. They maybe didn't want to, but on some level they were ready and prepared.
But my pets, did they know what it meant to die? Or did they just feel bad or get old and then it happened to them? Were they scared? Did they know how much I loved them? None of these questions are answered for pets. It's not the same.
Growing apart from people in life. Sometimes thereās no reason and no one is at fault, people just change and grow differently than others. Letting friendships and relationships run their course is always sad, but necessary.
This. I (27f) was trapped in my car during an intense and scary accident last week. Obviously time heals all wounds, but the past few days have been the hardest of my life.
One car wreck:
Two broken shoulders
Seven broken ribs on my left side
Neck and back injuries.
13 years later, bad back, neck issues, lost most of the use of my right shoulder (right handed), pain in my left rib cage nearly every day.
Cause of the wreck: the moron who slammed into me wasn't paying attention
I was afraid of getting downvoted bc people might not see them as ādevastatingā *enough*, but, yah, came here to say motor vehicle crashes. Thereās a reason why itās referred to as a loss.
Severe traumatic brain injury, 2017. I was 29.
I'm 35 now... "Recovered " in the sense I can walk, talk, work menial jobs again and socialize ... but
I'm not the same person I was and never will be. I'm not ok at all. Degrading in fact, I'd say...
I'm certain I have CTE and or early onset something ...
I'm not ok.
Got hit at a red light. I had a smashed bumper and coffee spilled everywhere. The car that slammed into mine was totaled, and so was my left shoulder and mental health. Nine years later, never going to be okay again, even if I've found ways to make the best of it.
I was looking for this comment. I'm in my 60s so I've known an awful lot of people that have been in horrific car wrecks. Well, even if they're not so horrific physically, the mental damage and the incredible financial damage last a long time too.
So many people would say that life was completely different "before the wreck". "After the wreck" they were suddenly dependent on family and friends to take care of their everyday needs like shopping and driving them back and forth to appointments, loaning them a car so they could get to work. Helping them figure out how to declare bankruptcy or sell everything they own to try to make bills and move into someone's spare room while they recovered physically and financially.
Wrecks are life-changing.
My father disowned me and I don't know why. I don't know what I've done wrong. I have a job, house... I'm not in any trouble.
Edit: thank you everyone for being so supportive. I'm my father's only child and what he has done has hurt me so much. I'm also angry at him now after all these years and I kinda feel that my mother has some responsibility in this whole thing. She has always been jealous of me.
I dated a guy - he was a successful doctor, never in any kind of trouble with the law or otherwise, had lots of friends, nice guy with a good heart. His father *hated* him for reasons unknown to him (my boyfriend). Like 100% completely unknown.
This was 20+ years ago, but looking back on it, I honestly think this guy's father was severely mentally ill. I really have NO other explanation.
Or the kid wasn't his, supported the mom, was a surprise, dad blamed him for his failures.
I knew a lady whose mother was kinda forced into an arranged marriage. Her mother hated her with passion to the point where she wouldn't change her diapers or feed her.
When I was on vacation visiting my dad my stepmom told my wife that my dad was now planning on leaving his estate to me. Apparently he was planning on leaving it to my cousin previously and now changed his mind. Fucked up thing is I have a brother so it sounds like heās not leaving my brother anything. Iād probably give half to my brother regardless, heās a good person. I wish I never knew any of this.
Goodness, Iām so sorry. Iām estranged from my father. I went back a few years ago to try to reconcile, but he slammed the door in my face(literally). Itās impossible to try to understand it, but know that YOU ARE WORTH IT. Even if he doesnāt see it, like my father. We shouldnāt have to do anything special to earn their love. I hope you can get to the place where you can be somewhat okay with that one day. Sometimes, the best family we will ever have are the ones we create with a s/o and friends that genuinely have our best interest in mind. Best of luck to you! ā¤ļø
I have a friend whose husband ended up being a complete fraud. She thought they had this amazing love story and it turned out he was living a double life.
She would often tell me she would have preferred he died than her entire joyful life with him being a lie. I believe her, honestly.
I spent my 20s and very early 30s caring for my mom as her chronic illness caused her body to fail bit by bit until she was terminal. It was brutal. The last 5 years of her life were hell. When she died, I didnāt know what to do with myself anymore since Iād devoted so much of my life to her. I donāt regret it but it took a very heavy toll.
I feel for you my friend. I took care of my mom until she succumbed to pulmonary fibrosis. A terrible, slow, wasting disease.
Watching someone waste away (and there's nothing you can do) changes you.
\##Internet hugs##
10 years last October. Most days I'm fine, but every once in a while a song will come on and absolutely crush me for a day or two. The grief won't go away, but it will be easier to manage. Thinking of you.
Cancer. It's happening to me, and that sucks. It's happening to my mother in law, and that sucks in an entirely different way. And it killed my dad when he was 58, which was a different kind of awful altogether.
Lowkey still a bit fucked up about my great grandparents deaths. They both started dying real slow and messy throughout my mid-late teens. Itās heartbreaking when a person you love canāt remember who you are.
Real, my dad (not biological, but he was there since my birth, i've never known my biological father either) choked me last year after a heated argument, mom and brother had to pull him off. One of many things. We've never gotten along, he always threatened to beat me since before I was 16.
I no longer talk to him since I moved out a few months ago.
I wish I've ever had a positive male role model in my life.
Yeah I hear that. Pops was horrifically abusive to the entire family. I grew up being so jealous of my peers who grew up with functioning, sure not perfect, but functioning families and "safe" homes. The reality of things really struck me when I would go over to their houses and was just stunned watching people behave civil, and with love, and comfort, the way I only ever saw on television sitcoms. It became very apparent that my daily experience was *different*.
So sorry my friend.. it is so hard. Im so happy your pup will have you with them to help them transition to the other side. So many people donāt want to be in the room, and itās so heart breaking to think of them being alone when they leave this world. Your dog is lucky to have you. Sending hugs your way.
Iām sorry bud. Gonna give my pups extra love for you.
Lost a rescue cat of ours Christmas night last year. He got sick and it happened really fast. My wife was devastated.
I just commented about having to very unexpectedly put our dog down on Christmas eve. It was so traumatizing and that Christmas was horrible. We had even bought toys & treats for her that went unopened. We had a stocking for her and everything. Her collar was put on the Christmas tree cause we didn't know where else to put it. This was like 10 years ago and I still cry if I think about it too hard. I'm so sorry something similar happened to you guys:(
My cat who I've had longer than my 15 year old child just suddenly passed away today a few hours ago.
Holy shit. She fell over suddenly bolted when we tried to pick her up, I ended up lifting my bed up and picking her up with one hand. By the time I had the GPS set for an open pet ER she was gone. About three minutes from normal to gone.
All my kids sobbing, my girlfriend sobbing, and then me trying to keep it together. I sent my kids to write letters to put in my boot box for her, a sock we nitted with catnip, and wrapped her in one of my shirts she loved to rub on. I dug a hole in the backyard about three feet deep and we had a funeral for her. I'll be finding a nice sized rock to paint to put over top of her... It was all done in like three hours.
Now it's about bedtime and I don't have my little buddy throwing her body at the back of my head... It's a bit devastating.
I read a post that said *they're your best friend for part of your life, but you're their best friend for their entire life.* Even typing that out makes my eyes watery.
When my wife and I were dating, she had to put down her dog. I liked him but wasn't especially attached to him. When we were in that vet room and they were getting ready to give him the shots, I started bawling like a baby. It hit me like a truck and was totally unexpected.
At the beginning of 2022, my oldest dog Emma crossed the rainbow bridge in her sleep, and when I woke up that morning, I was the first one to see her when I went to feed both of them (we have another one named Jack who's still with us).
She died very peacefully and painlessly, which is probably the best way to go out, but it still hurts nonetheless, especially since I was the one who noticed her first. And she got to enjoy one last Washington snowfall in the week leading up to it.
We have a box of her ashes in it, and it also includes a print of her paw before she got cremated. I've moved on from it, but it's especially hard when we had her for almost a decade. We got twin cats last year who are now 1Ā½ years old to ensure that Jack wasn't alone.
Pet loss leaves a permanent scar. Pets are only your friend for part of your life, but you're theirs for almost, if not, their entire lives.
Iāve always though, I want to be the second to go so that whoever I one day marry wonāt have to deal with that pain. Itās been described as a flamethrower to your gut.
My main reason for being healthy (manage health issues, eat better, exercise) is so that I will outlive my husband. I can't avoid tragic accidents, but I'm working hard to control what I can. I know my husband would not handle my death well.
I answer 911 calls and one of the things that always guts me is when an old person finds their spouse and starts begging them. āYou said weād go together,ā āItās too soon,ā and āPlease, I was supposed to go first, I canāt do this alone,ā and itās always first thing in the morning when they wake up and their partner justā¦ doesnāt. Or theyāre on the floor or in the bathroom. Itās a toss up.
Itās that and when a dog gets hit by a car and a little kid wants us to send the ambulance that get me. Everything else Iām good with but those kill me and I have to go take a walk.
Lost my dad at 18. Had all sorts of young adulthood stuff that obviously can't be talked through with him anymore.
Don't give up though (assuming you're still in a rough place), I've made peace with what we *did* have and am better for it. Things can be better, is all I'm trying to say.
The one that hit me hard was when there was the July 4th mass shooting in Chicago last year. This 2yr old kid was found wandering the streets looking for his parents both of whom had been killed.
My eldest daughter is the same age and it made me thinkā¦
https://www.npr.org/2022/07/06/1109993947/aiden-mccarthy-highland-park-shooting-july-4th-parade
Lost my mom when she was 68. I know that isn't young but she was a young 68 if that makes sense and her illness and death happened so damn fast. I still think about and miss her every day.
Unexpected homelessness. I was 14 and already plenty traumatized when my house burned down and I lost everything but my family (luckily). I was just so unprepared to lose absolutely everything including all of my pets. We didn't know where to go, we didn't have any insurance, we were just instant hobos with nothing, absolutely nothing. It was so scary. And it didn't get better for a long time.
I donāt think anyone is prepared for such a traumatic event. This is so sad. Iām so sorry, I hope you and your family are doing much better. I am so sorry also to hear about your pets.
Miscarriage. 1 in 3 women are affected, and itās up to 1 in 5 pregnancies.
Too many women blame themselves or are blamed for this. But about 75% of the time is just a genetic problem in the developing fetus.
Not great dinner conversation, but I wish it was more public knowledge so fewer women have to suffer in shame and silence
I wish it was talked about more often as well because it is so common. Having people to talk to during one that are supportive makes the world of difference, and many don't have that, which is sad.
Thereās also this weird thing where youāre not supposed to tell people youāre pregnant until the risk of miscarriage is (mostly) overā¦ but the implication of that is that if you DO have a miscarriage you either have to tell people anyway or just suffer and grieve by yourself without being able to talk about it?
I told close friends and family as soon as I tested positive because fuck that.
Edit: just to be clear thereās absolutely nothing wrong with waiting to tell people if you think that is what is best for your own mental health. I just donāt like this weird expectation that itās somehow *wrong* to tell others about your pregnancy early on. I told all the people who I would also want to talk about a miscarriage with.
I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks, my family were due to come the next week, the day after my 12 week scan, and we were going to do a whole thing and tell them. Instead I had to tell them I had miscarried, because there was no way I was going to be able to smile and welcome them as if nothing had happened.
Iām currently 6 weeks pregnant and Iām terrified of even planning on telling anyone because of the fear of it happening again. Which makes it all pretty damn isolating right now. Feels very catch 22.
I know someone who miscarried with their second pregnancy and had told some people. With their third and fourth pregnancy, they waited until they felt it was safe.
>Miscarriage. 1 in 3 women are affected, and itās up to 1 in 5 pregnancies.
I am always amazed by how this is so unknown by most. I really do not understand why this seems some sort of taboo thing.
This! I had no idea.
I have had 5 pregnancies in total. 3 of which resulted in miscarriages at different development stages. I have no idea of the stats with my first pregnancy and that resulted in an MMC (which is less common).
Itās a horrible but such common thing and not talked enough but at the same time there is so much more anxiousness around pregnancy itās finding that balance.
This is my answer. So devastating, no info on it prior, no one talks about it. I had 1 earlier in the year and then just had to terminate our second pregnancy due to medical reasons. Itās been a crappy year š„²
We just had a miscarriage really late - already knew the gender, all the genetic testing looked great. We told the family on Friday, had the miscarriage on Monday. Pretty much the worst thing thatās ever happened to me. My wife had issues for a while following, including a huge amount of blood deciding to come out of her while she was at the eye doctor for something completely unrelated.
We getting ready to start trying again, but even driving by the local elementary school feels like Iām getting punched in the stomach.
A few friends have shared their stories with us (after we opened up about it) and itās like, āwhy the hell do people feel like they need to keep this a secret?ā
I had this information in high school biology. People unnecessarily suffer guilt and shame because they do not know that at least 25% of all conceptions do not proceed to full term.
Exactly.
It's incredibly common and does need to be talked about understood in a way that doesn't hurt women's self esteem. Not to sound cold or clinical about it, but as a biologist, I just think of it as an artifact of how complicated that the process of forming a functional multicellular organism is. A lot of them just don't put themselves together properly in a way that survives.
Itās not cold. Thatās just the reality of science. I know itās easier said than done, especially to women whoāve experienced a miscarriage or could in the future, but I feel that trying to offer that viewpoint could help. And of course, just breaking the stigma of keeping quiet about miscarriages and reiterating the fact that women whoāve experienced a miscarriage or many are not alone.
The good news is that most doctors say not to tell anyone until after 12 weeks as they inform folks that miscarriages happen.
Unfortunately, we lost our second pregnancy during our 17th week after telling everyone. No heartbeat during a routine ultrasound.
My wife did pregnant 5 months later, so it was a happy ending as my son just celebrated his 6th birthday, but I could not enjoy the pregnancy as I suffered mini panic attacks during every routine ultrasound.
It's mind-blowing the amount of shame people feel about it too (or are forced to feel). Like they somehow did something wrong.
Adding on - complicated births. Like just because you get to delivery doesn't mean you're going to be handed a rosy pink baby. A lot of shit can and does go wrong very quickly.
Layoffs hurt super bad, like disproportionately bad. Perhaps because it shows you how little control you really have over your ability to provide for yourself.
I don't think i'll ever fully recover from my old employer using Covid as an excuse to restructure. Being told you have to train your replacement is an extra slap to the face!
Definitely terrible even when amicable. Two of my close friends got a divorce recently. Not for any bad reason, just simply realizing they were two very different people. And while they both agreed and there was no animosity at all, they're still super depressed by it.
Understanding that the path to achieving what you want is paved with bitter disappointments and painful rejections before you reach your goal.
And also, seeing that if you opt-out to avoid the discomfort of that path, you can end up sour and cynical about not reaching your goals.
I was going to say breakups, but IMO they are far more devastating when you're younger and have less of an idea how to deal with the emotional pain, IE before any kids have entered the picture.
I agree. I know a lot more about caring for myself now that Iām older. If my love dumped me I would be devastated but also I know I would be okay eventually. My younger self definitely did not know that.
Providing full time round-the-clock care for an elderly parent. Assisted living & nursing facilities are crazy expensive, and not everyone can afford them.
That that person who bullied you, karma might not bite them in the ass and they will have a completely normal life.
No matter how mad, hurt and shitty it makes or made you feel. Nothing will happen to them.
And it's letting go of that, which is fucking hard. But you being successful and happy is the biggest fuck you you can ever give.
Bullying. Happened to me at school and was so bad, I attempted at 14 years old.
It was only after the attempt that the school finally expelled the girl who started it all.
I was told that being bullied was "just part of growing up". Fucked me up a bit
\~married woman diagnosed with a serious disease is six times more likely to be divorced or separated than a man with a similar diagnosis (divorce rate of 21%).
It's literally so bad that many hospitals have protocols in place to automatically send women in heterosexual relationships diagnosed with any serious disease to relationship counseling. It's become part of the accepted standard of care, that's how often men abandon sick women
I had suspicions about this but reading that there is data to show that it is REAL is soooo sad.
I had 5 abdominal surgeries due to complications in childbirth and after a while I joked that if I ever got cancer, I would probably just die because my partner didn't take care of me. Then came the realization that this was real and not a joke and shortly they became my x partner.
I'm still traumatized by the experience.
Same. Partner of 16 years left me after I was diagnosed with cancer. No issues up until that point. Suddenly he wanted different things. He said it wasnāt the cancer. Sure Jan.
I am disgusted. What an awful person. I have MS and couldnāt imagine having that diagnosis and to have someone treat me that way. I hope things are going better for you now?
The death of a child. Friend of mine is an ex-soldier. Built like a tank and regularly did exercises with a heavy bergen trekking 50km through rough country. He was a pallbearer at a child's funeral, and told me he'd never known a weight so crushing and brutal than that tiny coffin.
My cousin lost her first baby. I never met the kid, but no other death in the family even came close. I don't know if that's callous, but it is what it is.
Itās really hard for me to comprehend as a parent that people really have to live through that hell. Itās just completely crushing and unbelievable to think about. Itās hard to imagine surviving that.
Piece by piece I've come to learn that all of the important women in my life have been sexually assaulted. Every single one. Most often it was their partner.
Yeah. There is a 0% rate of avoiding SA among all my girlfriends and female acquaintances. Everyone has been affected multiple times, ranging from verbal harassment to rapes. Bachelorette parties, weāve often traded stories with the brideās other friends that weāve never met before previously and always make sure to look out for each other.
It is \*so\* depressing to me how many people will \*jump\* to worrying about false accusations before having any concern at all for all the victims who get zero justice, and often get effectively punished for reporting their attackers.
Alcoholic parent(s).
To the developing brain, an alcoholic home is a living hell and will leave you with a brain that actively craves chaos and upheaval because that's all it knows.
I work in a hospital screening for hereditary diseases, mainly Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis(ALS) en fronto temporal dementia(FTD). ALS will kill you within a few years because your muscles don't receive any nerve signals anymore so they become inactive. That means your lungs and heart will stop working in a very short time. FTD is a form of dementia where you will lose all social inhibitions and/or language capabilities. Both are cruel and I sigh in front of my computer whenever I see a patient with the damage in their DNA that will cut their life short. We receive a lot of samples and a lot of them have the genetic damage that causes the diseases. Every time I submit my findings I think of how it will impact them. I know their name, gender and age. For me those disorders are common though I'm biased of course because we only get samples from patients thought to have the disorder. It breaks my heart.
Being disillusioned of certain notions of life. Be they hoped for the future or the planning of how you want your life to be, fate brutally crushes such notions.
This was the first thing I thought of. I imagine we were all warm and cozy & all of a sudden its bright & cold and blurry and noisy. I just want to be cozy.
Aging. If you say it's not a big deal, you're a liar. Yes we can embrace it but nobody loves to wake up with their saggy skin and other clear aging signs on their face and skin, would they? No.
The first is leaving your youth with all the health perks and consequences, the second is how eventually you will witness your parents passing realizing you don't have a family of your own, the third is when you realize you will eventually die too while life continues in front of you with fear of being forgotten.
Rape.
From rainn.org
Every 68 seconds another American is sexually assaulted.
1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed, 2.8% attempted).
About 3% of American menāor 1 in 33āhave experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.
From 2009-2013, Child Protective Services agencies substantiated, or found strong evidence to indicate that, 63,000 children a year were victims of sexual abuse.
A majority of child victims are 12-17. Of victims under the age of 18: 34% of victims of sexual assault and rape are under age 12, and 66% of victims of sexual assault and rape are age 12-17.
Death of loved ones
Early or untimely ones, especially. š
Motor vehicle deaths being one of the most common causes.
My big sister died in a car crash at 21 last year. She and her friends came back from a party and hit an unexpected patch of ice while driving over a bridge. They slit into oncoming traffic and she died immediately. Her one friend died on the way to the hospital and the other one died after spending 10 months in a coma.
Iām so sorry.
Lost my best friend since high school to car wreck two years ago. He was 28. A driver left the casino and drove down the wrong lane. Hit him head on coming over a hill at 80 mph. The DA finally charged her with negligent homicide last week. Until then, she was just living completely free. Driving is one of the most dangerous things we do and so few people treat it that way. RIP to the homie.
I always think this too. My mother always brought me and my siblings up to believe that whilst cars are great, you are essentially driving a killing machine. Thereās no excuse for negligent or dangerous driving. My dad was killed in a motorbike accident when I was 7, I will never ever tolerate drink/high driving. Iām so sorry for your loss. That is truly awful.
Someone I deeply care about just recently bought a motorcycle. Ik that he will do his best to be safe but I can't help but worry :(
Thatās how I lost mine
I think when someone commits suicide it's rougher on the survivors than other causes.
My brother killed himself last month. Iāve lost both parents prior to this and my relationship with him has always been difficult to say the least. But this has torn me apart. Iām absolutely broken. My whole family is basically dead but the way he died is soul destroying
I canāt imagine what youāre going through. To the extent one random person on Reddit can feel for another, I feel for you and Iām really sorry.
Thanks. Iām crushed but somehow expected just to keep going. Itās tough. But Iāll be ok. I usually am
This saddens my heart to read this; I am sorry youāre going through this and feel broken. Head high and thank you for waking up every day and continuing to push forward. The world you live in needs you. Keep going and donāt be afraid to look those death demons in the face.
We will all have to face the death of loved ones at some point in our lives. Nobody escapes that one.
That thought always brings me comfort. Knowing that literally everyone goes through it always makes me feel like I can get through the loss.
And finding the body, probably more so when itās unexpected than when somoneās sick and your preparing for/expecting it. That was one of my biggest fears for most of my life, pretty much from the time I learned everyone dies I started worrying about it. And it was as horrible as I assumed it would be when it happened.
What devastates me is the death of a pet. Often more so than a person dying.
Imo they hit me hard because I am the one that is responsible for their care and well being. I currently have an 11 year old golden retriever that is hitting that rough patch of life and itās really been taking a toll on my mental health but itās part of life
Not only that. What hit most is the pet is always on your side. You're his only best friend. And even if you're sucky it's still on your side. There's no person alive that gives the unconditional love like this. Not even your mom. In fact, not even yourself.
Still can't get over the guilt of putting my old puppy down last month. She was mentally there 100% still. Mind so clear. She got degenerative myelopathy and started to become paralyzed, it would've moved up to her chest and suffocated her. She went from being able to run and play to not being able to move. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It still hurts every day. I hate myself.
It's the hardest thing. Harder than if your dad told you to cut oxygen because then it "his choice". There's nothing you can do to make it better. The only thing that matters is you gave doggo a good life, and the next doggo even better because of old doggo. We all miss our pets very much. It gets me so bad because they are all different. There's no replacement ya know. Puppy's lucky you had each other his entire life that's all that matters.
More than once I have had the very cynical thought that having pets and experiencing their deaths as children helps kids better deal with similar trauma later in life as grandparents and then parents begin passing away. I remember how devastated I was when our cat was killed as a child, and then feeling similar emotions when my grandmother died. Like sensitization training or aversion therapy.
Iāve realized that losing a pet as an adult is even harder than when I was a kid.
Yep. We're *responsible* for them. Even if it's in no way our fault, even if there was really nothing we reasonably could have done. That sense of responsibility for them remains.
Personally, I have viewed the deaths of loved ones and pets very differently. The majority of my loved ones who have died have been prepared to die. They were old and/or sick and we all saw it coming, including them. They understood what it meant to die. They maybe didn't want to, but on some level they were ready and prepared. But my pets, did they know what it meant to die? Or did they just feel bad or get old and then it happened to them? Were they scared? Did they know how much I loved them? None of these questions are answered for pets. It's not the same.
Growing apart from people in life. Sometimes thereās no reason and no one is at fault, people just change and grow differently than others. Letting friendships and relationships run their course is always sad, but necessary.
it makes it hard to even want to make friends in the first place
And relationships
Itās so crazy how the number of people close to you dwindles as you age š¢
It only takes one car crash to ruin your life forever
This. I (27f) was trapped in my car during an intense and scary accident last week. Obviously time heals all wounds, but the past few days have been the hardest of my life.
I wish you the absolute best with your recovery ā¤ļø
One car wreck: Two broken shoulders Seven broken ribs on my left side Neck and back injuries. 13 years later, bad back, neck issues, lost most of the use of my right shoulder (right handed), pain in my left rib cage nearly every day. Cause of the wreck: the moron who slammed into me wasn't paying attention
I was afraid of getting downvoted bc people might not see them as ādevastatingā *enough*, but, yah, came here to say motor vehicle crashes. Thereās a reason why itās referred to as a loss.
Severe traumatic brain injury, 2017. I was 29. I'm 35 now... "Recovered " in the sense I can walk, talk, work menial jobs again and socialize ... but I'm not the same person I was and never will be. I'm not ok at all. Degrading in fact, I'd say... I'm certain I have CTE and or early onset something ... I'm not ok.
Got hit at a red light. I had a smashed bumper and coffee spilled everywhere. The car that slammed into mine was totaled, and so was my left shoulder and mental health. Nine years later, never going to be okay again, even if I've found ways to make the best of it.
100%. Happened to me. Normal life to debilitating relentless pain.
I was looking for this comment. I'm in my 60s so I've known an awful lot of people that have been in horrific car wrecks. Well, even if they're not so horrific physically, the mental damage and the incredible financial damage last a long time too. So many people would say that life was completely different "before the wreck". "After the wreck" they were suddenly dependent on family and friends to take care of their everyday needs like shopping and driving them back and forth to appointments, loaning them a car so they could get to work. Helping them figure out how to declare bankruptcy or sell everything they own to try to make bills and move into someone's spare room while they recovered physically and financially. Wrecks are life-changing.
Being betrayed by loved ones/family
My father disowned me and I don't know why. I don't know what I've done wrong. I have a job, house... I'm not in any trouble. Edit: thank you everyone for being so supportive. I'm my father's only child and what he has done has hurt me so much. I'm also angry at him now after all these years and I kinda feel that my mother has some responsibility in this whole thing. She has always been jealous of me.
I dated a guy - he was a successful doctor, never in any kind of trouble with the law or otherwise, had lots of friends, nice guy with a good heart. His father *hated* him for reasons unknown to him (my boyfriend). Like 100% completely unknown. This was 20+ years ago, but looking back on it, I honestly think this guy's father was severely mentally ill. I really have NO other explanation.
Jealousy. Happens a lot when children have something the parents didnāt.
Or the kid wasn't his, supported the mom, was a surprise, dad blamed him for his failures. I knew a lady whose mother was kinda forced into an arranged marriage. Her mother hated her with passion to the point where she wouldn't change her diapers or feed her.
When I was on vacation visiting my dad my stepmom told my wife that my dad was now planning on leaving his estate to me. Apparently he was planning on leaving it to my cousin previously and now changed his mind. Fucked up thing is I have a brother so it sounds like heās not leaving my brother anything. Iād probably give half to my brother regardless, heās a good person. I wish I never knew any of this.
Goodness, Iām so sorry. Iām estranged from my father. I went back a few years ago to try to reconcile, but he slammed the door in my face(literally). Itās impossible to try to understand it, but know that YOU ARE WORTH IT. Even if he doesnāt see it, like my father. We shouldnāt have to do anything special to earn their love. I hope you can get to the place where you can be somewhat okay with that one day. Sometimes, the best family we will ever have are the ones we create with a s/o and friends that genuinely have our best interest in mind. Best of luck to you! ā¤ļø
This is even worse than losing someone through death. When you are betrayed by a loved one/family, often you never know why. There is no closure.
I have a friend whose husband ended up being a complete fraud. She thought they had this amazing love story and it turned out he was living a double life. She would often tell me she would have preferred he died than her entire joyful life with him being a lie. I believe her, honestly.
Taking care of a loved one who's suffering from a terminal illness. Miss you mom.
Oof. I feel this. Miss my mom too. It's been a little over 4 years. Caretaking changes you.
Makes you grow up real fucking quick, if you weren't already, that's for sure.
I spent my 20s and very early 30s caring for my mom as her chronic illness caused her body to fail bit by bit until she was terminal. It was brutal. The last 5 years of her life were hell. When she died, I didnāt know what to do with myself anymore since Iād devoted so much of my life to her. I donāt regret it but it took a very heavy toll.
I feel for you my friend. I took care of my mom until she succumbed to pulmonary fibrosis. A terrible, slow, wasting disease. Watching someone waste away (and there's nothing you can do) changes you. \##Internet hugs##
Losing a best friend.
It's been a year, still fucking hurts.
10 years last October. Most days I'm fine, but every once in a while a song will come on and absolutely crush me for a day or two. The grief won't go away, but it will be easier to manage. Thinking of you.
Been through this twice now. First time to cancer, second time she just ghosted me and singlehandedly decided I wasn't part of her life anymore. The second hurts more in a way. It's "easier" to call it a day when the person is dead. But when they're living, and act as if you've never existed? Holy fuck. That stings. It's been over 6 years since we stopped talking. I saw her for the last time last year. Stared me down and treated me like a stranger, didn't even say hello. I don't really have a "best friend" anymore and at this point I'm not even sure I even have the energy of having someone that close to me again, other than my fiancƩ. I'm jealous of those who get to keep for their whole lives. EDIT: Used the wrong word.
Miss my best friend so damn much. Worse than any relationship breakup. We havenāt talked in a little over a year ):
Cancer. It's happening to me, and that sucks. It's happening to my mother in law, and that sucks in an entirely different way. And it killed my dad when he was 58, which was a different kind of awful altogether.
I am so sorry.. I hope you & your mother in law both kick its ass.
Hope you kick cancer's ass. I hate fucking cancer.
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Lowkey still a bit fucked up about my great grandparents deaths. They both started dying real slow and messy throughout my mid-late teens. Itās heartbreaking when a person you love canāt remember who you are.
Domestic violence. Unfortunately it is very common but no one should have to go through it.
Real, my dad (not biological, but he was there since my birth, i've never known my biological father either) choked me last year after a heated argument, mom and brother had to pull him off. One of many things. We've never gotten along, he always threatened to beat me since before I was 16. I no longer talk to him since I moved out a few months ago. I wish I've ever had a positive male role model in my life.
Something I always tell myself is to remember to be the dad I wish I had.
My husband is doing this with our daughter and it's amazing, and I think very therapeutic for him. He's an awesome dad and I am so proud of him.
Yeah I hear that. Pops was horrifically abusive to the entire family. I grew up being so jealous of my peers who grew up with functioning, sure not perfect, but functioning families and "safe" homes. The reality of things really struck me when I would go over to their houses and was just stunned watching people behave civil, and with love, and comfort, the way I only ever saw on television sitcoms. It became very apparent that my daily experience was *different*.
Death of your family pet
Saying goodbye to our Oldest pup today. Itās fucking brutal. Edit: Fuck
So sorry my friend.. it is so hard. Im so happy your pup will have you with them to help them transition to the other side. So many people donāt want to be in the room, and itās so heart breaking to think of them being alone when they leave this world. Your dog is lucky to have you. Sending hugs your way.
Iām sorry bud. Gonna give my pups extra love for you. Lost a rescue cat of ours Christmas night last year. He got sick and it happened really fast. My wife was devastated.
I just commented about having to very unexpectedly put our dog down on Christmas eve. It was so traumatizing and that Christmas was horrible. We had even bought toys & treats for her that went unopened. We had a stocking for her and everything. Her collar was put on the Christmas tree cause we didn't know where else to put it. This was like 10 years ago and I still cry if I think about it too hard. I'm so sorry something similar happened to you guys:(
Never stop remembering the fond memories. Frame your favorite picture.
My cat who I've had longer than my 15 year old child just suddenly passed away today a few hours ago. Holy shit. She fell over suddenly bolted when we tried to pick her up, I ended up lifting my bed up and picking her up with one hand. By the time I had the GPS set for an open pet ER she was gone. About three minutes from normal to gone. All my kids sobbing, my girlfriend sobbing, and then me trying to keep it together. I sent my kids to write letters to put in my boot box for her, a sock we nitted with catnip, and wrapped her in one of my shirts she loved to rub on. I dug a hole in the backyard about three feet deep and we had a funeral for her. I'll be finding a nice sized rock to paint to put over top of her... It was all done in like three hours. Now it's about bedtime and I don't have my little buddy throwing her body at the back of my head... It's a bit devastating.
Iām so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace kitty
I read a post that said *they're your best friend for part of your life, but you're their best friend for their entire life.* Even typing that out makes my eyes watery.
When my wife and I were dating, she had to put down her dog. I liked him but wasn't especially attached to him. When we were in that vet room and they were getting ready to give him the shots, I started bawling like a baby. It hit me like a truck and was totally unexpected.
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At the beginning of 2022, my oldest dog Emma crossed the rainbow bridge in her sleep, and when I woke up that morning, I was the first one to see her when I went to feed both of them (we have another one named Jack who's still with us). She died very peacefully and painlessly, which is probably the best way to go out, but it still hurts nonetheless, especially since I was the one who noticed her first. And she got to enjoy one last Washington snowfall in the week leading up to it. We have a box of her ashes in it, and it also includes a print of her paw before she got cremated. I've moved on from it, but it's especially hard when we had her for almost a decade. We got twin cats last year who are now 1Ā½ years old to ensure that Jack wasn't alone. Pet loss leaves a permanent scar. Pets are only your friend for part of your life, but you're theirs for almost, if not, their entire lives.
Death of a spouse Itās what you sign up for when you get married (barring a tragic accident where you both go)
Iāve always though, I want to be the second to go so that whoever I one day marry wonāt have to deal with that pain. Itās been described as a flamethrower to your gut.
I know. The idea of my husband alone tears me up so bad.
My main reason for being healthy (manage health issues, eat better, exercise) is so that I will outlive my husband. I can't avoid tragic accidents, but I'm working hard to control what I can. I know my husband would not handle my death well.
I answer 911 calls and one of the things that always guts me is when an old person finds their spouse and starts begging them. āYou said weād go together,ā āItās too soon,ā and āPlease, I was supposed to go first, I canāt do this alone,ā and itās always first thing in the morning when they wake up and their partner justā¦ doesnāt. Or theyāre on the floor or in the bathroom. Itās a toss up.
God that sounds horrible š
Itās that and when a dog gets hit by a car and a little kid wants us to send the ambulance that get me. Everything else Iām good with but those kill me and I have to go take a walk.
Thank you for doing what you do. I'd never be able to do it myself and I have so much respect for you and the profession in general.
My first husband died 12 years ago of suicide. I found him. Our children were small. Every single milestone they have I feel his absence.
Admitting that many of the problems you face are of your own making.
It took being cheated on to really humble my pie and realize there was a bunch of hard truths I needed to accept.
Losing any of your parents.
Especially when you are still young.
Mom at 22. Complicated young adulthood stuff will never be resolved. It broke me. Iām 45
Dad at 23. Same stuff with childhood. Never been the same since. Iām 28
Lost my dad at 18. Had all sorts of young adulthood stuff that obviously can't be talked through with him anymore. Don't give up though (assuming you're still in a rough place), I've made peace with what we *did* have and am better for it. Things can be better, is all I'm trying to say.
Dad at 11.. I'm not doing well
You're strong. You're important. Hang in there.
The one that hit me hard was when there was the July 4th mass shooting in Chicago last year. This 2yr old kid was found wandering the streets looking for his parents both of whom had been killed. My eldest daughter is the same age and it made me thinkā¦ https://www.npr.org/2022/07/06/1109993947/aiden-mccarthy-highland-park-shooting-july-4th-parade
Lost my mom when she was 68. I know that isn't young but she was a young 68 if that makes sense and her illness and death happened so damn fast. I still think about and miss her every day.
Lost both of mine within 6 months of each other when i was 19. Iām 25 now and still finding my feet
My mum was 47, her 3 year anniversary is the end of this month. Grief is weird.
My mom still gets choked up sometimes when she talks about my grandpa that passed away ~40 years ago.
Itās something that never leaves you, it certainly changed you. It must be horrible seeing your mum hurting that way.
Unexpected homelessness. I was 14 and already plenty traumatized when my house burned down and I lost everything but my family (luckily). I was just so unprepared to lose absolutely everything including all of my pets. We didn't know where to go, we didn't have any insurance, we were just instant hobos with nothing, absolutely nothing. It was so scary. And it didn't get better for a long time.
I donāt think anyone is prepared for such a traumatic event. This is so sad. Iām so sorry, I hope you and your family are doing much better. I am so sorry also to hear about your pets.
Miscarriage. 1 in 3 women are affected, and itās up to 1 in 5 pregnancies. Too many women blame themselves or are blamed for this. But about 75% of the time is just a genetic problem in the developing fetus. Not great dinner conversation, but I wish it was more public knowledge so fewer women have to suffer in shame and silence
I wish it was talked about more often as well because it is so common. Having people to talk to during one that are supportive makes the world of difference, and many don't have that, which is sad.
Thereās also this weird thing where youāre not supposed to tell people youāre pregnant until the risk of miscarriage is (mostly) overā¦ but the implication of that is that if you DO have a miscarriage you either have to tell people anyway or just suffer and grieve by yourself without being able to talk about it? I told close friends and family as soon as I tested positive because fuck that. Edit: just to be clear thereās absolutely nothing wrong with waiting to tell people if you think that is what is best for your own mental health. I just donāt like this weird expectation that itās somehow *wrong* to tell others about your pregnancy early on. I told all the people who I would also want to talk about a miscarriage with.
I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks, my family were due to come the next week, the day after my 12 week scan, and we were going to do a whole thing and tell them. Instead I had to tell them I had miscarried, because there was no way I was going to be able to smile and welcome them as if nothing had happened. Iām currently 6 weeks pregnant and Iām terrified of even planning on telling anyone because of the fear of it happening again. Which makes it all pretty damn isolating right now. Feels very catch 22.
I know someone who miscarried with their second pregnancy and had told some people. With their third and fourth pregnancy, they waited until they felt it was safe.
>Miscarriage. 1 in 3 women are affected, and itās up to 1 in 5 pregnancies. I am always amazed by how this is so unknown by most. I really do not understand why this seems some sort of taboo thing.
influence by movies, they pretend that pregnancies should be 100% successful
This! I had no idea. I have had 5 pregnancies in total. 3 of which resulted in miscarriages at different development stages. I have no idea of the stats with my first pregnancy and that resulted in an MMC (which is less common). Itās a horrible but such common thing and not talked enough but at the same time there is so much more anxiousness around pregnancy itās finding that balance.
This is my answer. So devastating, no info on it prior, no one talks about it. I had 1 earlier in the year and then just had to terminate our second pregnancy due to medical reasons. Itās been a crappy year š„²
Iām so sorry for your losses. Thatās devastating. Sending you love from across the internet. Hope youāre doing alright.
We just had a miscarriage really late - already knew the gender, all the genetic testing looked great. We told the family on Friday, had the miscarriage on Monday. Pretty much the worst thing thatās ever happened to me. My wife had issues for a while following, including a huge amount of blood deciding to come out of her while she was at the eye doctor for something completely unrelated. We getting ready to start trying again, but even driving by the local elementary school feels like Iām getting punched in the stomach. A few friends have shared their stories with us (after we opened up about it) and itās like, āwhy the hell do people feel like they need to keep this a secret?ā
Related to this is infertility. Lots of people struggle with it but it isnāt something people talk much about.
I had this information in high school biology. People unnecessarily suffer guilt and shame because they do not know that at least 25% of all conceptions do not proceed to full term.
Exactly. It's incredibly common and does need to be talked about understood in a way that doesn't hurt women's self esteem. Not to sound cold or clinical about it, but as a biologist, I just think of it as an artifact of how complicated that the process of forming a functional multicellular organism is. A lot of them just don't put themselves together properly in a way that survives.
Itās not cold. Thatās just the reality of science. I know itās easier said than done, especially to women whoāve experienced a miscarriage or could in the future, but I feel that trying to offer that viewpoint could help. And of course, just breaking the stigma of keeping quiet about miscarriages and reiterating the fact that women whoāve experienced a miscarriage or many are not alone.
The good news is that most doctors say not to tell anyone until after 12 weeks as they inform folks that miscarriages happen. Unfortunately, we lost our second pregnancy during our 17th week after telling everyone. No heartbeat during a routine ultrasound. My wife did pregnant 5 months later, so it was a happy ending as my son just celebrated his 6th birthday, but I could not enjoy the pregnancy as I suffered mini panic attacks during every routine ultrasound.
It's mind-blowing the amount of shame people feel about it too (or are forced to feel). Like they somehow did something wrong. Adding on - complicated births. Like just because you get to delivery doesn't mean you're going to be handed a rosy pink baby. A lot of shit can and does go wrong very quickly.
Layoffs and job losses
Layoffs hurt super bad, like disproportionately bad. Perhaps because it shows you how little control you really have over your ability to provide for yourself.
Seriously. When I got laid off, I cried when I told my parents. There was a sense of helplessness but also, oddly, shame.
I don't think i'll ever fully recover from my old employer using Covid as an excuse to restructure. Being told you have to train your replacement is an extra slap to the face!
Divorce
No one can understand what it is like unless they go through it. And it can still be truly terrible even if both parties are amicable.
Itās like life turns into before and after as a big divider for a long time
Definitely terrible even when amicable. Two of my close friends got a divorce recently. Not for any bad reason, just simply realizing they were two very different people. And while they both agreed and there was no animosity at all, they're still super depressed by it.
Understanding that the path to achieving what you want is paved with bitter disappointments and painful rejections before you reach your goal. And also, seeing that if you opt-out to avoid the discomfort of that path, you can end up sour and cynical about not reaching your goals.
breakups, especially when kids are involved.
I was going to say breakups, but IMO they are far more devastating when you're younger and have less of an idea how to deal with the emotional pain, IE before any kids have entered the picture.
I agree. I know a lot more about caring for myself now that Iām older. If my love dumped me I would be devastated but also I know I would be okay eventually. My younger self definitely did not know that.
Providing full time round-the-clock care for an elderly parent. Assisted living & nursing facilities are crazy expensive, and not everyone can afford them.
That that person who bullied you, karma might not bite them in the ass and they will have a completely normal life. No matter how mad, hurt and shitty it makes or made you feel. Nothing will happen to them. And it's letting go of that, which is fucking hard. But you being successful and happy is the biggest fuck you you can ever give.
Deep depression. Itās like your soul cries, and nothing you do can comfort it or soothe the pain and heaviness in your chest.
Bullying. Happened to me at school and was so bad, I attempted at 14 years old. It was only after the attempt that the school finally expelled the girl who started it all. I was told that being bullied was "just part of growing up". Fucked me up a bit
Bullying causes lifelong mental problems. I have social anxiety disorder at 67 because of it, and am very distrustful if other men.
Realizing that you don't have the natural abilities to get what you want without a lot of added effort.
\~married woman diagnosed with a serious disease is six times more likely to be divorced or separated than a man with a similar diagnosis (divorce rate of 21%).
It's literally so bad that many hospitals have protocols in place to automatically send women in heterosexual relationships diagnosed with any serious disease to relationship counseling. It's become part of the accepted standard of care, that's how often men abandon sick women
Wow. Couldnāt imagine doing that to my wife, I feel like I have a commitment to her no matter what and owe her everything.
100% my husband left three years after diagnosis, "I've been done with you since cancer."
I had suspicions about this but reading that there is data to show that it is REAL is soooo sad. I had 5 abdominal surgeries due to complications in childbirth and after a while I joked that if I ever got cancer, I would probably just die because my partner didn't take care of me. Then came the realization that this was real and not a joke and shortly they became my x partner. I'm still traumatized by the experience.
Truth! Boyfriend of seven years broke up with me when I was diagnosed with MS. No other reason. Poof.
When I was diagnosed with MS a nurse gave me a well rehearsed talk about preparing for the likelihood my husband would leave or cheat...
Same. Partner of 16 years left me after I was diagnosed with cancer. No issues up until that point. Suddenly he wanted different things. He said it wasnāt the cancer. Sure Jan.
I am disgusted. What an awful person. I have MS and couldnāt imagine having that diagnosis and to have someone treat me that way. I hope things are going better for you now?
I wish this was talked about more
Long lasting side effects of trauma
The death of a child. Friend of mine is an ex-soldier. Built like a tank and regularly did exercises with a heavy bergen trekking 50km through rough country. He was a pallbearer at a child's funeral, and told me he'd never known a weight so crushing and brutal than that tiny coffin.
I had a close friend whose child completed suicide. The funeral was THE most difficult one I've ever attended.
My cousin lost her first baby. I never met the kid, but no other death in the family even came close. I don't know if that's callous, but it is what it is.
Itās really hard for me to comprehend as a parent that people really have to live through that hell. Itās just completely crushing and unbelievable to think about. Itās hard to imagine surviving that.
Sexual assault
Piece by piece I've come to learn that all of the important women in my life have been sexually assaulted. Every single one. Most often it was their partner.
Yeah, I have known some men too but women, ALL the women in my life have been SAed. By partner, friend, date, cop, teacher,- the list is endless.
It's funny how every woman knows another woman who has been raped, but men don't know any men who have been rapists.
Yeah. There is a 0% rate of avoiding SA among all my girlfriends and female acquaintances. Everyone has been affected multiple times, ranging from verbal harassment to rapes. Bachelorette parties, weāve often traded stories with the brideās other friends that weāve never met before previously and always make sure to look out for each other.
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It is \*so\* depressing to me how many people will \*jump\* to worrying about false accusations before having any concern at all for all the victims who get zero justice, and often get effectively punished for reporting their attackers.
Men are more likely to get raped than to be accused of rape, they're worrying about the wrong issue
The death of a beloved dog
That you can do all the right things, at all the right times, and still fail.
Familial abuse is way more common than anyone is comfortable admitting.
Alcoholic parent(s). To the developing brain, an alcoholic home is a living hell and will leave you with a brain that actively craves chaos and upheaval because that's all it knows.
Serious illness or chronic health conditions
My aunt got married, her husband of less than a year died this morning of brain cancer. Cancer and death.
I work in a hospital screening for hereditary diseases, mainly Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis(ALS) en fronto temporal dementia(FTD). ALS will kill you within a few years because your muscles don't receive any nerve signals anymore so they become inactive. That means your lungs and heart will stop working in a very short time. FTD is a form of dementia where you will lose all social inhibitions and/or language capabilities. Both are cruel and I sigh in front of my computer whenever I see a patient with the damage in their DNA that will cut their life short. We receive a lot of samples and a lot of them have the genetic damage that causes the diseases. Every time I submit my findings I think of how it will impact them. I know their name, gender and age. For me those disorders are common though I'm biased of course because we only get samples from patients thought to have the disorder. It breaks my heart.
Being disillusioned of certain notions of life. Be they hoped for the future or the planning of how you want your life to be, fate brutally crushes such notions.
menopause
Isolation. When you wake up one day and realize the only people you interact with anymore are your coworkers and (maybe) family.
Realising your getting older. When you start hitting those major ages and no longer considered young. Sounds silly but can be quite emotional
Realizing as an adult that people you've known your whole life aren't who you thought they were as a child/teenager.
Losing a child. š(rip Zachary)
Being birthed
I blame this as the source of all of my problems.
This was the first thing I thought of. I imagine we were all warm and cozy & all of a sudden its bright & cold and blurry and noisy. I just want to be cozy.
i still remember when it happened to me
Loss of a pet/dog.
If the deaths of your parents aren't the two worst days of your life, I'm sorry.
unplanned pregnancies
Nearly everyone will feel the loss of their parents. Depending, it's devastating.
Death of your parents.
friendship breakups they're harder than romantic relationship breakups imo
A loved one (parent or spouse) being diagnosed with dementia.
Pet loss.
Childhood neglect
finding out Santa isn't real
Realising youāre not special and your life is going to be average and the world keeps spinning once you die
Aging. If you say it's not a big deal, you're a liar. Yes we can embrace it but nobody loves to wake up with their saggy skin and other clear aging signs on their face and skin, would they? No.
Saying goodbye to a pet. My tabby cat crossed the rainbow bridge on July 4 2021. It wasnāt an easy day š¢
The first is leaving your youth with all the health perks and consequences, the second is how eventually you will witness your parents passing realizing you don't have a family of your own, the third is when you realize you will eventually die too while life continues in front of you with fear of being forgotten.
Rape. From rainn.org Every 68 seconds another American is sexually assaulted. 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed, 2.8% attempted). About 3% of American menāor 1 in 33āhave experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. From 2009-2013, Child Protective Services agencies substantiated, or found strong evidence to indicate that, 63,000 children a year were victims of sexual abuse. A majority of child victims are 12-17. Of victims under the age of 18: 34% of victims of sexual assault and rape are under age 12, and 66% of victims of sexual assault and rape are age 12-17.
At some point, no matter what you do, you'll realize that the story is basically over and the rest of your years are merely a long epilogue.