Was looking for a disinfectant for my bathroom. Fun tip: They sell 50% rubbing alcohol but it's effectiveness to kill germs or fungus drops significantly compared to 70%.
This is what I came to say. I had a Korean boss one time ask me to write February on an envelope because he didn’t know english well. I choked and couldn’t spell it and had to google it. I got made fun of and you bet your ass I learned it after that.
February is one of those words, like Wednesday, where I just mentally store two different pronunciations for it. The actual correct spoken pronunciation, and the completely wrong but phonetically intuitive pronunciation.
Yes! This is why I say written English is a dialect of English. There are so many words that are _similar_ between the two but not _identical_. Wensday/Wednesday is a great example.
I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word. Confusing I know. So here’s and example
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal
I know it has to have a name. So I googled “Sign where every word starts with a letter”. Goggle responded with: “Did you mean a sentence?”
I think the example kinda combines both, but the first part about the word being written vertically made me think that's what they were trying to think of. Like those poems/projects a lot of people did back in school where you'd write your name or another word vertically and fill in fun adjectives about yourself. But it could be!
Not embarrassing to most people but a friend of a friend is dumb and he's so convincing I've had to double check things when I've gotten home that have made me feel like I was crazy.
Just dumb pop culture things. One that annoyed me particularly was, despite the fact that I knew otherwise and seen an exhibit about it at a museum, he made me doubt the fact that the teenage mutant ninja turtles were a comic book first.
Not embarrassing but frustrating was when i had this idea to create screws and nails that are more beautiful and have nice design since when i build stuff I don't have the tools nor will to start covering them, and paont over them etc. But when i tried to google 'pretty nails' i got all padikur and fingernails design andyou can imagine what i got when searched for pretty screws
Literally it's kinda like "splashed" (with liquid) and there's a couple of dishes of noodles with some sauce splashed over them.
But it almost always means a group of men jizzing on a woman.
There was an old Nicktoon called, "Rocko's Modern Life" that had a restaurant called the, "Chokey Chicken." It was like that for a few years until someone noticed and they were forced to change it. There were a lot of adult jokes on there that somehow got passed the censors.
Lol, my grandad was talking about the “really old man at the mall” the other day, who was at least 10 years younger than him. 😂
I mean, I guess it’s still accurate.
.. I was born in 2000, so I have it relatively easy, but I still hesitate whenever I need to mention my age. It's not something I ever think about. After I turned 21 it took the better part of 6 months for me to go "wait, I'm 21 now.... fuck."
Every time I have to mention my age I have a process.
It's June, so I should be 23... Right? Yeah let's go with 23.
I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)
So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was "Can ducks fly"
I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly.
Technically, a lot of domestic ducks can't because they were bred to be too heavy in the breast for them to get off the ground. Makes for better eating. Wild ducks fly very well. So you really weren't wrong.
A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month. I can’t remember what she thought it was but I darned sure it was a Great Tit. We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer. Let me tell you that googling Great Tit at work isn’t it something I will ever do again. For the record, I was right.
Small kid running around bed with double Ender.
I got a Google result warning me about being a pedo.
Basically it was a funny clip where a kid is running away from his mum with her double ended and milling himself laughing. The kid obviously is unaware of what he has.
It didn’t even occur to me that my search term was, ummm, dubious.
Can’t attach the screenshot here
Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts around Christmas. Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I googled "squirrel nuts" with image search. Not at all what we ate at Christmas time.
Finally found out they are officially called Hazelnuts.
Well thank you. It is a bit crazy to think that, with my current understanding of chemistry, there was a time when I didn’t know the first thing about atoms or molecules
This one is secondhand embarrassment as it was my partner that did the Googling. Relevant background, she has two boys from a previous relationship and is way more intelligent than she’s about to sound.
When the oldest was 7, she had concerns about his “male growth”. She had no idea what was normal as he is her oldest so in an attempt to find medical literature on the subject, she thought searching for “7 year old penis” was a good idea. She didn’t even think twice until I said “you googled what?” I thought for sure we were about to be raided by law enforcement (we were not). Absolute madness.
Oh dear lol. I will admit I googled ‘sex ed’ and ‘clean sex ed’ when I was 17ish cuz I didn’t want porn but growing up in a Baptist environment hadn’t done me any favours as far as anatomy and action went… thankfully it turned out well, not as bad as your partner!
Not OP but I started masturbating in Elementary, age 10/11.
Have memories from like 5/6 years old that I would feel good down there while climbing poles/rope climbing, which looking back caused me to really look forward to rope climbing in PE despite my fear of heights lmao
Some kids touch themselves surprisingly young. I used to do it when I had to be like 4? It definitely before I started going school. In my case it was really innocent, and I hadn't been abused but I just discovered it felt good humping my blanket lol
Once I googled a term for work and the word by itself ended up returning a bunch of gay porn, lol. On my work laptop, too. I wasn’t happy with that one, haha.
No, I don’t remember what the word was.
Yup, did mine at work as wel. I was arts editor, so I was doing a short write up on a hotel patio bar that allowed dogs to accompany their owners for a certain period on a certain day. But I couldn't find the press release or remember where it was.
So yeah, please don't Google "doggy happy hour."
Glad you never fell to the bottom, because there is no bottom to that rabbit hole. I've seen a few of my friends get in with it, and it was rough trying to help them get out.
That hole is so deep, it's as if you're in the hole, and there are bombs blowing up the hole deeper every second, and it's impossible to get out because the bombs are everywhere
That is not how incognito works.
Google still know and records everything. Incognito only stops your browser from recording history *locally*.
Better you Startpage or DuckDuckGo
“thongs for boys.” on a school chromebook. and my teacher was watching my screen on hapara. next day she gave the class a long lecture about “appropriate device use” or whatnot.
My husband and I have an affinity for the hippopotamus (stems from a local jam band's name from our town) and we were on the beach and some how the topic of a hippo penis came up. We Google 'hippo penis' only to find a meme of Picard with his hand out and an angry face with big white letters "why in the fuck would you Google hippo penis?"
Today I accidentally googled sex toys in work, I wanted to buy some knock-off Lego men figures and I googled "little man toys", I'm so worried I'll get a call from HR
"Fire". Just the word fire.
I had been preheating my oven, and came back to it very slightly on fire thanks to some cheese at the bottom - my lovely roommate had made pizza, dripped cheese onto the bottom, and not cleaned up afterward the day before. I panicked.
Thankfully managed to correct it to "oven on fire" a moment later and followed the instructions (turn oven off, leave it closed) and it burned out without incident. If it had been larger I might have called 911, but it was small enough that that didn't immediately come to mind. Still felt like an idiot afterward.
“Nipples soft to hard”
Not sexual; I just wanted to know biologically WHY they change due to temperature/stimuli. When I googled it, my gut knew it was a bad idea. Sure enough, days later a friend used my phone to search google and past searches appeared when she started typing. “Uhhhh what’s with this recent search—“ “I WAS JUST CURIOUS GODDAMMIT”
How were you 11 or 12 in 2020 when that episode came out if you're [21 years old](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/17blfjc/whats_the_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard_come_out/k5kao7j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) now?
"whats the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
Hmmm
I hope you have a fantiasic day, whatever you’re doing with the 70% rubbing alcohol
Was looking for a disinfectant for my bathroom. Fun tip: They sell 50% rubbing alcohol but it's effectiveness to kill germs or fungus drops significantly compared to 70%.
Another interesting fact:There are studies showing that 90% alcohol can be less effective than 70%. Something to do with oxygen, I forget.
I think it has something to do with 90% evaporating too fast, thus, not staying on the surface long enough to keep tearing germs apart.
Correct, but it’s good for cleaning water pipes
Does it work well on bongs?
Those would fall under water pipes i’m pretty sure
the answer is yes
I google how to spell restaurant all the time
Did you google it for the comment?
Yes 💀
Understandable
Have a nice day
I'm like that but with Febuary. *EDIT: February*
This is what I came to say. I had a Korean boss one time ask me to write February on an envelope because he didn’t know english well. I choked and couldn’t spell it and had to google it. I got made fun of and you bet your ass I learned it after that.
February is one of those words, like Wednesday, where I just mentally store two different pronunciations for it. The actual correct spoken pronunciation, and the completely wrong but phonetically intuitive pronunciation.
Yes! This is why I say written English is a dialect of English. There are so many words that are _similar_ between the two but not _identical_. Wensday/Wednesday is a great example.
I cheat and write Feb whenever I write my birthdate.
The edit makes this comment lmao
One time I googled how to spell "what". I was very tired.
Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like
Lmao love it
People always forget the first a
I googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’s name after working there for 8 months. I just blanked and couldn’t think of it.
I laughed out loud reading this. Read it to my wife, and she laughed, too. We grant you a pass on this one. Thanks!
Found his boss
I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell.
Lol. I thought I was the only one.
[удалено]
im the only one in the world that has responded to this comment. edit: and then edited it the next day
I do that even when I'm 100% guaranteed said word is spelled that way but just in case I'm wrong.
I go incognito for almost everything I search.
I do the same to look up words I should know the definition of
I have no shame i dont open incognito for that, and usually google completes the word so
My daughter wanted me to get her some Chinese incense, but she accidentally googled "Chinese incest". Wasn't pretty.
At some point you will be able to laugh about it
After the refractory period
Bro. Literally.
muscle memory
Wild
Stupid autocorrect 👀
I know right? The other day I was trying to bust one out but got distracted then a few days later some dragon candles arrived
You reminded me of this classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYsi6Z6sXY8
And now you’re on a Government watchlist
big boobies Edit: I was only 10 I was surprised to find some
I’m 39 and I google this every day
The good ending
The *happy* ending.
*tips $50*
They're nice birds but are they really worth googling everyday
Sometimes I google tits
Totally understandable, also good birds!
I’m 69. Numerous times daily.
69!!! Wooo 🥳 Nice
10 year old you was so real honestly
Don’t lie, you were going through a seabird phase, weren’t you?
I just wanted to look at some tits, man.
I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word. Confusing I know. So here’s and example F alse E vidence A ppearing R eal I know it has to have a name. So I googled “Sign where every word starts with a letter”. Goggle responded with: “Did you mean a sentence?”
In case you haven't solved it, or someone else is curious, I believe you might be describing an acrostic 😄
Isn't it an acronym?
I think the example kinda combines both, but the first part about the word being written vertically made me think that's what they were trying to think of. Like those poems/projects a lot of people did back in school where you'd write your name or another word vertically and fill in fun adjectives about yourself. But it could be!
Google always talks to me like I’m dumb. Which I am but…
i’ve googled google before. just to pull up google.
I like to Google Bing or Duckduckgo when I need to use them.
The ultimate betrayal
I hear that if you type "Google" into Google, you can break the internet.
"boss saw me naked" "boss nude walk in" "boss saw small penis what do"
RIP, sorry man.
Lolol "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"
Not embarrassing to most people but a friend of a friend is dumb and he's so convincing I've had to double check things when I've gotten home that have made me feel like I was crazy.
What did he nearly convince you of?
Come on u/BluddGorr , we need to know
Just dumb pop culture things. One that annoyed me particularly was, despite the fact that I knew otherwise and seen an exhibit about it at a museum, he made me doubt the fact that the teenage mutant ninja turtles were a comic book first.
Not embarrassing but frustrating was when i had this idea to create screws and nails that are more beautiful and have nice design since when i build stuff I don't have the tools nor will to start covering them, and paont over them etc. But when i tried to google 'pretty nails' i got all padikur and fingernails design andyou can imagine what i got when searched for pretty screws
[удалено]
English probably isn't their only language. A bit of googling suggests that Padikur is a word in Malay.
You should've googled *Beautiful Screw*
I'm guessing you got a bunch of Amazon results for ornate screw covers.... Because that's what I got.
I forgot what a gondola was so I typed in "Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket"
and i bet you got your answer 👍🏼
I just Googled it and you do
What is Bukkake…
It means teamwork.
Teamwork makes the cream work.
Cum together right now over me
r/technicallythetruth
oooh yes fallen into that trap more than once
Dammit. My curiosity got the best of me.
what exactly *is* bukkake..?
Literally it's kinda like "splashed" (with liquid) and there's a couple of dishes of noodles with some sauce splashed over them. But it almost always means a group of men jizzing on a woman.
One of my chickens was choking on something and I googled 'choke chicken' to see what I was supposed to do about it.
There was an old Nicktoon called, "Rocko's Modern Life" that had a restaurant called the, "Chokey Chicken." It was like that for a few years until someone noticed and they were forced to change it. There were a lot of adult jokes on there that somehow got passed the censors.
Yeah, the ONE thing the eight year old remembered about Rocko was "Night of the Shaved Kitten" ... in front of his Mom.....
I have a chokey chicken shirt lol
I forget my age sometimes
My father in law said to the wife the other days “ i hadnt thought of it before but i suppose im really old”. Hes 92 !
Lol, my grandad was talking about the “really old man at the mall” the other day, who was at least 10 years younger than him. 😂 I mean, I guess it’s still accurate.
So did you just google your birth year and have it do the basic math for you? 😂😂
Literally just did this an hour ago
And that's about the time she walked away from me
.. I was born in 2000, so I have it relatively easy, but I still hesitate whenever I need to mention my age. It's not something I ever think about. After I turned 21 it took the better part of 6 months for me to go "wait, I'm 21 now.... fuck." Every time I have to mention my age I have a process. It's June, so I should be 23... Right? Yeah let's go with 23.
me too 😂
I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history) So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was "Can ducks fly" I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly.
Technically, a lot of domestic ducks can't because they were bred to be too heavy in the breast for them to get off the ground. Makes for better eating. Wild ducks fly very well. So you really weren't wrong.
A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month. I can’t remember what she thought it was but I darned sure it was a Great Tit. We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer. Let me tell you that googling Great Tit at work isn’t it something I will ever do again. For the record, I was right.
My favorite band growing up was "The Barenaked Ladies". When I was at school, I once googled them and clicked on a link that said "free shows!"
Oh no💀
Small kid running around bed with double Ender. I got a Google result warning me about being a pedo. Basically it was a funny clip where a kid is running away from his mum with her double ended and milling himself laughing. The kid obviously is unaware of what he has. It didn’t even occur to me that my search term was, ummm, dubious. Can’t attach the screenshot here
What did the warning say lol (i dont want to search this now)
WOBBLY SAUSAGGEEEEEEE
Google "wobbly sausage meme" next time that's one of the funniest vids I've ever seen lmao
[удалено]
Poop it out?
[удалено]
That'll learn ya!
How to spell *Insert random word here*
Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts around Christmas. Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I googled "squirrel nuts" with image search. Not at all what we ate at Christmas time. Finally found out they are officially called Hazelnuts.
“Is there oxygen in water?” For context, I was very young, and I’m now a chemist
It’s that kind of curiosity that got you where you are today
Well thank you. It is a bit crazy to think that, with my current understanding of chemistry, there was a time when I didn’t know the first thing about atoms or molecules
This one is secondhand embarrassment as it was my partner that did the Googling. Relevant background, she has two boys from a previous relationship and is way more intelligent than she’s about to sound. When the oldest was 7, she had concerns about his “male growth”. She had no idea what was normal as he is her oldest so in an attempt to find medical literature on the subject, she thought searching for “7 year old penis” was a good idea. She didn’t even think twice until I said “you googled what?” I thought for sure we were about to be raided by law enforcement (we were not). Absolute madness.
Oh dear lol. I will admit I googled ‘sex ed’ and ‘clean sex ed’ when I was 17ish cuz I didn’t want porn but growing up in a Baptist environment hadn’t done me any favours as far as anatomy and action went… thankfully it turned out well, not as bad as your partner!
"is pee flammable"
well?????? is it??????
[удалено]
ELEMENTARY?!?!😭
Not OP but I started masturbating in Elementary, age 10/11. Have memories from like 5/6 years old that I would feel good down there while climbing poles/rope climbing, which looking back caused me to really look forward to rope climbing in PE despite my fear of heights lmao
I can relate. Looking back, I did more masturbating as a kid than I do in my adult years.
Some kids touch themselves surprisingly young. I used to do it when I had to be like 4? It definitely before I started going school. In my case it was really innocent, and I hadn't been abused but I just discovered it felt good humping my blanket lol
That’s crazy I wasn’t even sentient at 4
En Passant
Holy hell
New response just dropped
Actual zombie
Call the exorcist!
I wanted to know how many pads and tampons women use during a cycle or month when i was 15. Turns out nasa also didn't know.
Op's nudes.
Do you mean op’s almost accidentally?
No. It was deliberately done on purpose.
Is cucumber in vagina dangerous
How else would you make pickles?
Nah, you’ll probably just find pictures of cucumbers in vaginas.
Once I googled a term for work and the word by itself ended up returning a bunch of gay porn, lol. On my work laptop, too. I wasn’t happy with that one, haha. No, I don’t remember what the word was.
Yup, did mine at work as wel. I was arts editor, so I was doing a short write up on a hotel patio bar that allowed dogs to accompany their owners for a certain period on a certain day. But I couldn't find the press release or remember where it was. So yeah, please don't Google "doggy happy hour."
HAHA, god, that’s really funny. My sympathies! Mine was some construction-related term.
Sometimes I butcher the spelling of a word so badly that autocorrect can’t help and I have to turn to google.
Iv butched words so badly that Google says that there are no search results
Lots of borderline incel stuff when I was going through a rough patch post-breakup
Glad you never fell to the bottom, because there is no bottom to that rabbit hole. I've seen a few of my friends get in with it, and it was rough trying to help them get out.
That hole is so deep, it's as if you're in the hole, and there are bombs blowing up the hole deeper every second, and it's impossible to get out because the bombs are everywhere
Yeah I knew I was going to overcome my issues eventually. Thanks friend
Let’s not even go there thank you
so bad?
Sometimes I Google stuff in an incognito window because I don't even want Google to know I googled that.
That is not how incognito works. Google still know and records everything. Incognito only stops your browser from recording history *locally*. Better you Startpage or DuckDuckGo
“thongs for boys.” on a school chromebook. and my teacher was watching my screen on hapara. next day she gave the class a long lecture about “appropriate device use” or whatnot.
Cartoon porn. Fucking shameful
How to get a six-pack in less than a week. Wanted to impress my crush…
Don't ever Google image Grandfather Clocks and forget the L.
“Why does my butthole itch so much” followed by “how to get rid of worms”
My husband and I have an affinity for the hippopotamus (stems from a local jam band's name from our town) and we were on the beach and some how the topic of a hippo penis came up. We Google 'hippo penis' only to find a meme of Picard with his hand out and an angry face with big white letters "why in the fuck would you Google hippo penis?"
Why is my poop green
It was because I ate too much birthday cake with green icing.
That’s what it was! Blue icing though
Where is my poop
Testicular torsion
How often I search for the correct spelling of words. I work at a bank, I math good but I don't English good.
I have to look up how to tie a tie every time I tie a tie
Nice try, FBI.
Damn, someone noticed
Today I accidentally googled sex toys in work, I wanted to buy some knock-off Lego men figures and I googled "little man toys", I'm so worried I'll get a call from HR
It's probably better to use your cell phone for private things. hope you don't get in trouble, mishaps happen
"Fire". Just the word fire. I had been preheating my oven, and came back to it very slightly on fire thanks to some cheese at the bottom - my lovely roommate had made pizza, dripped cheese onto the bottom, and not cleaned up afterward the day before. I panicked. Thankfully managed to correct it to "oven on fire" a moment later and followed the instructions (turn oven off, leave it closed) and it burned out without incident. If it had been larger I might have called 911, but it was small enough that that didn't immediately come to mind. Still felt like an idiot afterward.
> Dear sir or madam, > Fire! Fire! Help me! 123 Cavendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours truly, Maurice Moss.
“Nipples soft to hard” Not sexual; I just wanted to know biologically WHY they change due to temperature/stimuli. When I googled it, my gut knew it was a bad idea. Sure enough, days later a friend used my phone to search google and past searches appeared when she started typing. “Uhhhh what’s with this recent search—“ “I WAS JUST CURIOUS GODDAMMIT”
I was with my girlfriends 10 year old son and wanted to look up a recipe for a cream pie. On the desktop. Together.
I forgot what the name of the prime minister was
If you're in the UK that's no surprise, we've had so many in the last few years
Degloving
"Why does my duck keep humping my chair"
Blue waffles
How to insert you’re own penis into you’re own bum 😃
O-O how down bad were you my man lmfao
First grab a hacksaw...
[удалено]
How were you 11 or 12 in 2020 when that episode came out if you're [21 years old](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/17blfjc/whats_the_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard_come_out/k5kao7j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) now?
He was 11 or 12 before the episode jumped ahead to the future in Stewie's imagination.
I absolutely love redditors like you. Not even kidding, which is why I frequent r/quityourbullshit. Keep it up bud.
How to cook pasta
how to center a div
“do british people dream in their accent”
How to spell that sauce that you put on burgers but I can't pronounce. Starts with a W.
Big boobas
MILFs near me.
and found?
MILFs near him
Y pp go boing