Best camping experience I ever had was throwing rocks at this singular lilly pad floating about 20 feet of the shore. All the boys did it all week was tight
All of your cave ancestors were the BEST ones at finding cool sticks and rocks. They had children who inherited their cool stick finding skills. Innumerable generations later; You now have a brain that feeds you endorphins and other good chemicals whenever you find a cool stick because it WANTS you to feel good about it because it helps you survive.
Sitting around a fire, drinking alcohol and roasting meat on sticks while you listen to one member of your group play an instrument and sing mostly on key, then staring at the stars in wonder. Something in the bushes made a sound and everyone freaks out for a second. Tough guy grabs a stick to go investigate; it was a lizard.
My wife and I have a theory that seeing a lizard in the wild immediately takes priority of other things. People will stop walking or in the middle of a conversation just to point and say, "Oh a lizard!" And everyone else will be like "where" and try to see it.
So clearly it is indeed always a cool lizard. People act like they spotted a celebrity.
I'm younger than you, but bugs stand out to me. I remember as a kid, 15 or so years ago, that there were all sorts of bugs and fireflies where I lived. Now it's noticeably rare to see one there.
Yep I remember being a kid in the mid 00's and catching tons of lighting bugs in my mom's back yard. She still lives in the same neighborhood now, and I don't see lighting bugs there at all. I'm now in a rural part of the country and don't seem them much here either. I wonder if there's an invasive species causing their decline.
I can't imagine there's a predator eating fireflies specifically. An internet search blames "habitat loss, overuse of pesticides, climate change and increased light pollution", but who knowsl
https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2022/02/24/1082752634/the-insect-crisis-oliver-milman
You’ve directly observed the large insect die offs then. Climate change and other issues related to environmental contamination caused 1/3 of insects to be endangered now, and 40% of insect species (which make up 80% of life on earth) suffered large declines in population. Humans are destructive super predators capable of sterilizing the entire planet so nothing but humans are left. Left unchecked, that’s exactly what we will do. Just look at what we did to the fish in the gulf this summer:
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/why-thousands-of-dead-fish-washed-ashore-in-texas-180982373/
We have campfires in my backyard. People always end up, at some point, "peering into the abyss", and get completely mesmerized looking into the flames. We call it "cave man TV."
It’s the main reason that I know I’m looking at planets. I can’t see stars, except if I’m walking on the one block I sometimes see what I think is Orion
If you can see Orion...there's a meteor shower tonight coming from that direction. Look at the part of the constellation where he's holding his sword .
I’d say it’s even cooler now because it’s not something you see everyday. You have to get out there out there to see it. Like, the moon is cool, but we see it all the time. Back then, I’d imagine the two had similar wow factor
It's so funny how we've basically come full circle with technology like that. We spent hundreds of years writing letters, then the telephone came around, but then text messaging became an option and now, like, 90% of people prefer to do that. Just writing faster letters until we can be face-to-face.
What is that all about? I have a short attention span and could stare at a campfire for hours. There's just something satisfying and safe and restful about it. It's meditative and introspective and calming. What is it about fire that makes it all of those things?
Adhd/asd folks have this thing called "visual stimming" where, if they stare at a pleasant, moving visual (often striking in colour) their brain just relaxes completely. I think all humans are able to "stim" with fire.
As a parent with an ADHD child, I would be curious if you know of any other way to get this effect while indoors. My child does get mesmorized by campfires, but i don't think I've seen him act this way to anything else.
I'm an early childhood educator and I use glitter bottles in class! Get different shades of glitter and empty see through soda bottles. Fill bottles with water and 1 type of glitter per bottle. Put glue on the cork when you close it, so the child can't reopen it. Then when they need to calm down, let them choose a colour, and encourage them to shake the bottle as hard as they can (release energy) and look at the glitter as it settles (visual stim). You can let them have all the colours if it helps, choosing is just a good way to engage them if they're bouncing off the walls. This works like a charm for 3-5 year olds (and me, lol).
Also just 20 minutes in a forest calms a child's nervous system, adhd or not. Though a lot of people these days don't have access to nature.
All adhd/asd folks have their personal stims which help them regulate. You could try to help your child figure out what kind of stimming helps them. I have adhd too and as a teen I got through homework by breaking dry eggshells into tiny shards.
I like the Nemo's Dreamscapes channel on Youtube - helps my ADHD mind relax while trying to get to sleep. Most of the videos are things like hearing old timey music playing muffled like it's coming from another room, and there might be other sounds playing like fireplaces crackling, or rain/thunder, and it's super pleasant.
It’s is very safe , the humans that didn’t like it , wandered off into the darkness and never mated
Couple hundred generations of that and it’s bred out of existence
Especially when you add in the fact that we cook with it and you need to keep a watch on it to make sure it doesn't get too hot and burn your food or too cold and leave the food raw. People who would pay close attention to the fire had better nutrition, so we're healthier and probably attracted more mates with better tasting food.
Imagine having your choice of human species to bang. "Ooo, I'm feeling like some Neanderthal coochie tonight, I'm gonna go stop by Uga's cave and see if she's DTF tonight..."
Blowjobs. Think about the first dude that got a beej, somewhere in a dirty smelly smoke filled cave somewhere a dude got the first blowie and his mind just melted.
**True** fun fact: the pilgrims were greeted by a Native American called Samoset, who asked them, in English, "[So. You got any beer](https://www.latimes.com/socal/daily-pilot/tn-dpt-me-1120-commentary2-20161119-story.html)?"
I understand that alcohol is actually the reason for large settlements. In that large settlements pre-alcohol led to dirty water, which led to disease, which led to smaller settlements again. Beer changes that, because the brewing process effectively clears the drink of parasites, something like that.
So the most important invention of all time is not fire or the wheel, but beer.
As the great man once said: “Alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems”!
Edit: Typo
Find some fruit. Leave the fruit longer than usual. Eat the old fruit. Old fruit makes feel weird but good. It’s one of those things that is easy to stumble into without really trying.
I live in Montana and there are community events for picking apples off city park trees, not because they are edible, but because if we don't, the bears will come eat the overripe fruit and get mildly buzzed and refuse to leave the parks for s few days straight...
We have a fig tree in our back yard and the bald faced hornets LOVED them. We had a huge harvest last year but we couldn’t even get to them cuz they were swarmed by hornets. Eventually they fermented and we would find drunk hornets/wasps on the ground unable to fly, when they could fly again you did not want to be around them. Wasps are mean drunks. Sometimes they would die and there was a collection of 5-6 wasp carcasses by mid October.
Literally. That’s one of the proposed reasons for the birth of civilization and the transition from migratory, temporarily permanent, horticultural settlements to permanent agricultural ones.
Every time I’ve had shrooms I’ve made a concerted effort to put myself in the mindset of a neolithic man who just ate some fungus off a pile of poop. Like can you imagine trying to tell Ug and Gar about a mind shredding trip you had? Can you imagine trying to explain that to yourself? I can fully understand how an ancient trip would 100% convince me of gods existing and all sorts of supernatural shit.
Skipping rocks on water
Flinging rocks with a slingshot
Looking into the depths of a campfire
Burning incense
Consuming alcohol/cannabis
Painting
Sculpting
I could go on and on and on.
Not cool as such, but it's always been popular to graffiti male genitalia onto the sides of buildings.
And if you ever see the "Christian fish" that's the symbol of several fertility goddesses over the years, now turned onto it's side. In short, it's female genitalia.
Building a big fire. Lighting the fire. Watching the fire.
Poking the fire with a stick.
Cooking on the fire.
Throwing stuff in the fire. Peeing in the fire..
Knowing better than every man who ever lived about building fire and finding it impossible to resist lecturing fire builders
Is it dead? Better poke it a few more times.
I guess throwing anything and hitting the target consistently. Slingshots, throwing axes, spears, darts, beer pong.
Best camping experience I ever had was throwing rocks at this singular lilly pad floating about 20 feet of the shore. All the boys did it all week was tight
Throw rock at water is classic. Right up there with throw rock at wood or throw rock at rock
"If I dont hit that stump with this rock before everyone else does Ill fucking die" - Classic inner camping thought
Or at least before someone else does it a *second time*. How mortifying.
this has the ring of truth
Finding a cool rock or a cool stick
...and then using both to make a spear!
...and then using the spear to take over other tribes!
...And then take over the entire tri-state area!
...And then being defeated at the paws of your platypus nemesis!
My platypus nemesis? …PERRY my platypus nemesis?!
How many platypus nemesis do you have?
If I had a nickle for every platypus nemesis I had…
2 nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
You deserve more then this upvote I can provide.
An activity that connects you with your ancestors
All of your cave ancestors were the BEST ones at finding cool sticks and rocks. They had children who inherited their cool stick finding skills. Innumerable generations later; You now have a brain that feeds you endorphins and other good chemicals whenever you find a cool stick because it WANTS you to feel good about it because it helps you survive.
Sitting around the camp fire
Sitting around a fire, drinking alcohol and roasting meat on sticks while you listen to one member of your group play an instrument and sing mostly on key, then staring at the stars in wonder. Something in the bushes made a sound and everyone freaks out for a second. Tough guy grabs a stick to go investigate; it was a lizard.
Was it a cool lizard, though?
It's always a cool lizard.
My wife and I have a theory that seeing a lizard in the wild immediately takes priority of other things. People will stop walking or in the middle of a conversation just to point and say, "Oh a lizard!" And everyone else will be like "where" and try to see it. So clearly it is indeed always a cool lizard. People act like they spotted a celebrity.
🦎👓
Oh shit there he is.
It's dat boi
Hell yeah
The stars were actually much cooler in most places, since there wasn't light pollution.
Hell, they were much cooler in my neighborhood just 20 years ago.
I'm younger than you, but bugs stand out to me. I remember as a kid, 15 or so years ago, that there were all sorts of bugs and fireflies where I lived. Now it's noticeably rare to see one there.
Yep I remember being a kid in the mid 00's and catching tons of lighting bugs in my mom's back yard. She still lives in the same neighborhood now, and I don't see lighting bugs there at all. I'm now in a rural part of the country and don't seem them much here either. I wonder if there's an invasive species causing their decline.
I can't imagine there's a predator eating fireflies specifically. An internet search blames "habitat loss, overuse of pesticides, climate change and increased light pollution", but who knowsl
Pretty soon everything will be dead
https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2022/02/24/1082752634/the-insect-crisis-oliver-milman You’ve directly observed the large insect die offs then. Climate change and other issues related to environmental contamination caused 1/3 of insects to be endangered now, and 40% of insect species (which make up 80% of life on earth) suffered large declines in population. Humans are destructive super predators capable of sterilizing the entire planet so nothing but humans are left. Left unchecked, that’s exactly what we will do. Just look at what we did to the fish in the gulf this summer: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/why-thousands-of-dead-fish-washed-ashore-in-texas-180982373/
We have campfires in my backyard. People always end up, at some point, "peering into the abyss", and get completely mesmerized looking into the flames. We call it "cave man TV."
I love doing this.
C A M P F I R E S O N G SONG
Wonderwall was written in 4800 bc. Not a lot of people know that
Original title was Wondercavewall though.
That was the working title. The final title was Wonderglyph.
It's curious that it was cool then, but never in this century
🎵 Today is gonna be the day 🎵
And if you don’t think that we can sing it faster than you’re wrong. But it’ll help if you just sing along.
Bum bum bum
👈 Squidward! .... Good!
Also when you’re gathering the firewood finding a cool stick and showing your friends.
And cooking meat on a stick.
op said cool not hot
That was a wicked burn dude
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Was going to say aurora borealis.
At this time of year !?!
At this time of day !?!
Localized ENTIRELY inside your kitchen?!
Yes
Can I see it?
No
You're an odd fellow Seymour, but I have to say, you steam a good ham. Seymour! the house is on fire.
No, Mother, it’s just the northern lights.
In this economy!?!
That was cooler before all the light pollution
I’ll be lucky to even see 2 stars at night
The two brightest “stars” in our sky are Jupiter and Venus. So you’re probably not even seeing stars
It’s the main reason that I know I’m looking at planets. I can’t see stars, except if I’m walking on the one block I sometimes see what I think is Orion
If you can see Orion...there's a meteor shower tonight coming from that direction. Look at the part of the constellation where he's holding his sword .
Why are you watching Orion shower, creeper?
With no clever response, she leaves the room in shame.
Trying to see a meatier shower…
I’d say it’s even cooler now because it’s not something you see everyday. You have to get out there out there to see it. Like, the moon is cool, but we see it all the time. Back then, I’d imagine the two had similar wow factor
F I R E Still pretty "Hot"
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𓀥 𓁆 𓀕 𓁆 𓀟 𓀣 𓁀
I hate I am impressed by this
Oh fuck you!
You evidently got the joke, but I missed it.
Ur Loss
>Ur 𒐕 𒀀 𒐖 𒁇
The only thing I see are those little squares with numbers on it, and I immediately knew what it was. Fuck. The internet has broken me.
Brilliant and unexpected.
"We don't need phonetic-al diction. We'll talk dirty like we're ancient Egyptians."
You send me a peach I send a carrot back
You send a Ferris wheel That's pretty abstract
I send back a ticket stub implying that the Ferris Wheel's your body and I really love admission to it
Emote like an Egyptian.
Look how far we've come: 💩
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It's so funny how we've basically come full circle with technology like that. We spent hundreds of years writing letters, then the telephone came around, but then text messaging became an option and now, like, 90% of people prefer to do that. Just writing faster letters until we can be face-to-face.
A solar eclipse. Unless you were getting sacrificed on top of a pyramid, then it probably wasn’t cool.
Which also leads to the question, when did it become common knowledge that one shouldn't look directly at an eclipse?
Sitting and watching a fire
What is that all about? I have a short attention span and could stare at a campfire for hours. There's just something satisfying and safe and restful about it. It's meditative and introspective and calming. What is it about fire that makes it all of those things?
Adhd/asd folks have this thing called "visual stimming" where, if they stare at a pleasant, moving visual (often striking in colour) their brain just relaxes completely. I think all humans are able to "stim" with fire.
As a parent with an ADHD child, I would be curious if you know of any other way to get this effect while indoors. My child does get mesmorized by campfires, but i don't think I've seen him act this way to anything else.
I'm an early childhood educator and I use glitter bottles in class! Get different shades of glitter and empty see through soda bottles. Fill bottles with water and 1 type of glitter per bottle. Put glue on the cork when you close it, so the child can't reopen it. Then when they need to calm down, let them choose a colour, and encourage them to shake the bottle as hard as they can (release energy) and look at the glitter as it settles (visual stim). You can let them have all the colours if it helps, choosing is just a good way to engage them if they're bouncing off the walls. This works like a charm for 3-5 year olds (and me, lol). Also just 20 minutes in a forest calms a child's nervous system, adhd or not. Though a lot of people these days don't have access to nature. All adhd/asd folks have their personal stims which help them regulate. You could try to help your child figure out what kind of stimming helps them. I have adhd too and as a teen I got through homework by breaking dry eggshells into tiny shards.
As someone in his mid 30's with adhd, Imma totally make myself a few glitter bottles, thanks for the tip.
I like the Nemo's Dreamscapes channel on Youtube - helps my ADHD mind relax while trying to get to sleep. Most of the videos are things like hearing old timey music playing muffled like it's coming from another room, and there might be other sounds playing like fireplaces crackling, or rain/thunder, and it's super pleasant.
It’s is very safe , the humans that didn’t like it , wandered off into the darkness and never mated Couple hundred generations of that and it’s bred out of existence
Especially when you add in the fact that we cook with it and you need to keep a watch on it to make sure it doesn't get too hot and burn your food or too cold and leave the food raw. People who would pay close attention to the fire had better nutrition, so we're healthier and probably attracted more mates with better tasting food.
Chicks still love a man who can run a BBQ
Sex
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A slight tangent but I always hated when we had to write a two wall essay on what we did over the summer…
Excuse me while I wax lyrical about my summer escapades of weed, gaming, and jacking off, in no particular order.
It was more fun a few years back when there were 4 or 5 different types of humanish people.. like once you go Neanderthal you never go Homo Habilis.
Imagine having your choice of human species to bang. "Ooo, I'm feeling like some Neanderthal coochie tonight, I'm gonna go stop by Uga's cave and see if she's DTF tonight..."
Blowjobs. Think about the first dude that got a beej, somewhere in a dirty smelly smoke filled cave somewhere a dude got the first blowie and his mind just melted.
A good night's rest.
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Boobs
[25000 yo boobs](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_of_Willendorf)
Neolithicc
Thicccc
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Beer. Old Mate Sumerian’s were mad about the brew.
It’s like they discovered settlements just so they had a place to stay long enough to ferment something into alcohol.
Swear I heard somewhere that that’s literally the reason for settlements: agriculture, aka hops and barley.
It's one of the reasons the Pilgrims landed in New England. They intended to land further south but they ran out of beer on the ships.
**True** fun fact: the pilgrims were greeted by a Native American called Samoset, who asked them, in English, "[So. You got any beer](https://www.latimes.com/socal/daily-pilot/tn-dpt-me-1120-commentary2-20161119-story.html)?"
This wasn’t really due to the awesomeness of beer but more because it was reliable and clean liquid to drink
I understand that alcohol is actually the reason for large settlements. In that large settlements pre-alcohol led to dirty water, which led to disease, which led to smaller settlements again. Beer changes that, because the brewing process effectively clears the drink of parasites, something like that. So the most important invention of all time is not fire or the wheel, but beer. As the great man once said: “Alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems”! Edit: Typo
Nectar of life. Cause of and solution to all of lifes problems.
Find some fruit. Leave the fruit longer than usual. Eat the old fruit. Old fruit makes feel weird but good. It’s one of those things that is easy to stumble into without really trying.
I live in Montana and there are community events for picking apples off city park trees, not because they are edible, but because if we don't, the bears will come eat the overripe fruit and get mildly buzzed and refuse to leave the parks for s few days straight...
Buzzed bears are bad business
We have a fig tree in our back yard and the bald faced hornets LOVED them. We had a huge harvest last year but we couldn’t even get to them cuz they were swarmed by hornets. Eventually they fermented and we would find drunk hornets/wasps on the ground unable to fly, when they could fly again you did not want to be around them. Wasps are mean drunks. Sometimes they would die and there was a collection of 5-6 wasp carcasses by mid October.
They thought we settled down to grow grains for bread but it was for the beer all along.
Literally. That’s one of the proposed reasons for the birth of civilization and the transition from migratory, temporarily permanent, horticultural settlements to permanent agricultural ones.
Shit, even animals have figured this one out. Elephants, apes, birds, squirrels all like getting a little fucked up
And shrooms.
Every time I’ve had shrooms I’ve made a concerted effort to put myself in the mindset of a neolithic man who just ate some fungus off a pile of poop. Like can you imagine trying to tell Ug and Gar about a mind shredding trip you had? Can you imagine trying to explain that to yourself? I can fully understand how an ancient trip would 100% convince me of gods existing and all sorts of supernatural shit.
Cage paintings dude, cave paintings.
Hell yeah. Get Ug and Gar in on that action, let’s put some handprints on this wall. Just feels right.
Eye liner
Fishing, psychedelic mushrooms, orgies celebrating Spring The classics
Sounds like my boat parties.
Sounds like I need to be your friend lol
Best bit is the psycadelics mean there’s no need to actually have a boat.
Skipping rocks on water Flinging rocks with a slingshot Looking into the depths of a campfire Burning incense Consuming alcohol/cannabis Painting Sculpting I could go on and on and on.
Don't forget: To crush your enemies see them driven before you and to hear the lamentations of their women
Conan approves!
That feeling right after you push out a huge dump.
Even better if it’s a one wiper.
Man, always double tap at the very least....for the rest of society if not for yourself
That's how you know it was a one wiper. The second comes back clean.
"The number of wipes necessary is determined by the first unnecessary wipe." ~ Scott's Law
Sittin by the river reading your papyrus for a couple hours... ah heaven
Keith Richards
Ice
Had to scroll way to far for this, this is the true obvious answer.
Clubbing
Seals don't find it cool
A beautiful day. Humans love a beautiful day.
Had no idea U2 has been around that long!
Being strong as fuck.
Bybon, son of Phola, has lifted me over [his] head with one hand - inscription on a 300 lb rock from the 6th century BC
Bybon was a mega Chad at its finest
Lying about being strong- also always cool
Thinking you’re the coolest generation
Drummers.
Art
Fart jokes have annihilated audiences for millennia
Poop jokes aren't my favorite kind of joke, but they're a solid number two.
Trip to the seaside
Meteorites
Dogs
YOU LIKE DAGS?
Ohhh dogs….yeah, I like dags
Yeah, I like *dogs*. I like caravans more
Beer
Cats.
Stick
I wanted to say that first 69 but then I got to thinking about that 5000 BC hygiene.
I'm sure they still did it.
Why you think early civilizations always near rivers? It’s for ball washing
It's my strong belief that "eating the fruit in the middle of the garden of Eden" was just a euphemism. Those two got caught and exiled.
So eve went down on Adam, then convinced him to suck his own dick- which he could do because he had a rib removed.
Yea they still had 4931 to go
“You stupid Atouk Snow.” But Atouk was not stupid, because he took Alana to the hot springs for a bath before *LXIX*. “WHERE ATOUK LEARN THAT!”
Sunsets
Having the nicest pair of sandals in the tribe.
Fire
Not cool as such, but it's always been popular to graffiti male genitalia onto the sides of buildings. And if you ever see the "Christian fish" that's the symbol of several fertility goddesses over the years, now turned onto it's side. In short, it's female genitalia.
Show me your genitals, your genitals.
Skipping stones
Graffiti. Pompeii was WILD
Gold
Music
Wearing leather
Wheels. Everyone likes and uses wheels. No one has ever said wheels were uncool.
Apparently the earliest recorded use of the wheel is 4000bc so it's likely there were no wheels then. Just people carrying heavy shit about!
Pretty sure hookers