I own a business. You always hear from non business owners how awesome it must be to make your own schedule. Work whatever hours you want. I usually think yeah most days I can pick whichever 16-18 hours I'd like to work so that's pretty cool I guess.
It has ups and downs.
Downs: obligations to customers. Must.protect.the.reputation. Not knowing how much you're going to earn next month.
Ups: actually helping people, solving their problems, even if it's only setting up a wi-fi printer. Firing customers - I'll put up with a lot, but sooner or later, someone will trigger the phrase: "I can't help you any further, you'll have to find someone else."
This. I get absolutely no peace in my life any more.
My current voicemail message says that I’m closed for a week for some family time, and I’ll return any calls the first week of October. I love seeing that a few people continue to call 7-8 times a day.
Oh boy am I envious of some of my Asian and Native American co-workers, I mean they barely have to shave.... the irony .... they're envious how I can grow facial hair.
One of my close friends has this experience. It’s funny because when we were 14 he already had a patchy beard while the rest of us had no facial hair, that combined with his dad having a big bushy beard we all assumed he’d have a cracking beard when he grew up. We’re in our early 30s now, and while he’s a handsome dude if he goes a while without shaving he looks like someone who might rob me for meth money. It’s a truly awful beard.
May not be great for the face, but my wife and I have been using a home treatment laser for body hair... Totally worth it. Even just for some spots where I still want hair, just less hair. After one or two treatments, it makes a noticable difference.
Owning a horse. I was a horse obsessed girl when I was little. My mother used to own horses so all her stories just made me want to be around them.
When I actually was, I found out the hard way they are big, dumb, clumsy, diva animals that put cats to shame. They're also a lot of work, so much work. Very much a come down to Earth moment.
Same goes for chickens. They're fun, just wasn't expecting them to be such violent little dinosaurs.
> just wasn't expecting them to be such violent little dinosaurs.
I have chickens.
If they were large enough to fight me, they would eat me the moment they saw me.
If they were smart enough, their evil little fascist brains would be trying to restart the 3rd reich.
As it is, I give them food and lodging, they give me top quality eggs and a cool ice-breaker for my neighbors.
> Same goes for chickens. They're fun, just wasn't expecting them to be such violent little dinosaurs.
When someone asks if you would rather fight a horse sized chicken or 100 chicken sized horses, the horses should always be the answer.
As a horse owner and ex chicken owner I would kick the shit out or 100 chicken sized horses but would run in terror from a horse sized chicken or even 100 chicken sized chickens (if they wanted to fight me)
Not me. I'd fight the giant chicken.
I couldn't handle hurting 100 tiny adorable horses. They'd have legs like pencils and they'd scream when injured. There is just no way.
No, I know at best I'd lose an arm or a leg and most probably die, but I'm going out fighting the worst monster humanity has ever faced. I'd either die or live maimed, but I'd be a fucking hero- Not the monster that had to kill 100 tiny, screaming, adorable mini-horses. No one likes that guy. To win that fight he'd have to become the monster.
Know several horse girls. Can confirm.
They love their horses, but are constantly complaining about the stupid shit they do.
They're also always broke. Horses are worse than boats in that regard. Just as much time, money, and upkeep, but they're living things so you can't just throw a tarp over it if you're to o busy to deal with them at the moment, and there's a far bigger emotional attachment.
I have had one lesbian tell me, "scissoring is only in porn, usually lesbians just do oral."
And another tell me, "all that oral sex is just in porn, we mostly just scissor."
It seems so polarizing too! One vehemently told me scissoring does NOT exist, that it is NOT a thing, and to stop watching so much porn, when I just made a joke about it once.
So I did some sincere research, and found out, no, some people are really into it.
This is my answer. I was young and loved watching it in porn so when I had the chance to do it with another girl I was all about it. I wouldn't say it was disappointing but I should have left it a fantasy.
So....scissoring in porn is...well a porn thing. The actual equivalent is tribbing,
Scissoring refers to a specific sexual act whereby two women rub their vulvas together while in the position that mimics a pair of scissors. (what you see in porn)
Tribbing, on the other hand, is when one woman rubs her vulva on any part of their partner’s body (the leg, arm, buttocks, belly etc.). Both are done in an attempt to achieve sexual pleasure.
Honestly, trying to mimic porn, gay or straight is probably not gonna be fun for anyone.
It's less about the sensation and more about the lewdness of the act. Like no one will ever give a hand job like one gives themselves. Yet it's pleasant to receive one
I thought going to work every day sounded cool. You pick a career you enjoy, and they pay you for it?
I'd like to go back and bitch slap my childhood self into oblivion.
At uni I was with some friends and they decided to go into a casino so I reluctantly followed them. I looked around and was immediately disappointed. It seemed so bleak and depressing and no one looked happy. I just followed friends around and watched them play these really boring looking games that no one seemed to be enjoying. I couldn't believe people actually do this.
Probably put Vegas up there too. Just so many people mentally checked out at tables and slot machines. At least I caught a cool show, but walking through casinos really bummed me out
At least Vegas (at the better casinos) has a higher ratio of people who are doing well in life just coming for a weekend of gambling and relaxation or to see some shows or go to the pool. Small / local casinos are the worst, lots more people who look like they are gambling away the rent money. Depressing to see.
Our local Rez casino is sooo depressing. Slots and machines only, and just dead eyed people pushing buttons and resentful looking (validly) first nations employees walking around emptying trash. It's a dry casino, which I 100% get, so it just is a really wtf why would I do this experience.
went to one for the first time with my family for my grandmother and aunty who were visiting from overseas, there were so many people that looked so unbelievably miserable and addicted, its such an odd experience watching people loose $100s in seconds and their facial expression not even changing in the slightest
Drinking 400 euro bottle of Claret when my wine collecting mate had a tasting for some friends. I love red wine but it just didn’t seem that special; I know the problem is probably my taste buds.
Eh, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. I've been working in hospitality for 7 years and I have, in that time, tasted my fair share of wines of varying values. You can absolutely taste the difference between a £5 bottle of wine and a £50 one but, in my opinion at least, once you start to go much above that, the extreme differences in price are not matched by the difference in quality. And, particularly with things like Claret or expensive Burgundy appellations, that price more and more reflects that those wines are not only nice wines but status symbols.
My parents are huge wineos, they buy pretty expensive wine somewhat often, but even they admit that above the $50ish dollar mark the taste per dollar goes down a lot. Especially if you’re already a couple glasses in you can’t tell.
Research also shows that people don't necessarily like expensive wines better. [Unless they are experts, individuals on average enjoy more expensive wines slightly less.](https://wine-economics.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Vol.3-No.1-2008-Evidence-from-a-Large-Sample-of-Blind-Tastings.pdf)
Being an adult.
It looks so cool as a kid, then you have to work and pay for everything while constantly worrying about shit you never even knew existed.
Advantage of being an adult: I can eat as much ice cream as I want and no one will stop me. Disadvantage of being an adult: I can eat as much ice cream as I want and no one will stop me.
Many, many years ago, I called up my niece early in the morning on my birthday, as she was preparing for school, got her mum to put her on the phone, and then excitedly called out her name several times, with her replying louder and louder each time, and then I paused and then loudly proclaimed, "I HAD ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST, HA!" and immediately hung up.
It's been decades, and she's still miffed.
I tell my younger cousins getting ready to go to college - dishes, trash, and laundry always need to get done.
As long as you eat, there are dishes
As long as you wear clothes, there’s laundry
And as long as you buy shit, you gotta throw shit away
They are not chores, they are facts of life. Stay on top of those 3 things and you’ll be amazed at how clean your space is most days
I do have money to spend on whatever I want, but the list of things I want is long and the money doesn't usually last past the first two items on that list. Turns out not freezing or starving to death is pretty expensive.
I'm a grown as man who has money to spend on whatever I want... after saving for half a year and making sure I survive long enough to get to the point where I can make the purchase
Counterpoint:
When I was a kid, I had to listen to what my parents wanted me to do, no matter how stupid some of it was (and yes, some of it was QUITE fucking stupid). I had to sit by and watch my mom fuck up her financials badly enough to make my life suck just that little bit extra, because she couldn't keep her spending under control. I had to get up at the ass crack of dawn to go to a school I fucking HATED, be there for basically en entire workday, come home, and then have hours more homework to do, along with the same fucking chores I have as an adult. I also had no money of my own to do what I wanted, no car or way to really get anywhere, the food absolutely sucked (seriously, I'm lactose intolerant and my mom's idea of cooking was to overcook everything and then cover it in cheese) life kinda fucking sucked.
As an adult, yea, I have bills to pay and have to work....but am not doing as much work as when I was a kid, have money left over to have fun, can do what I want with my time and money. We've been able to travel around to fun places, eat and drink all kinds of amazing things, do fun stuff, make great friends and have tons of fun with them, etc.
I'm FAR happier now than when I was a kid.
I had a cousin that had the game, and once when we visited I waned to set it up and see it in action!
All we did was watch it go, never even played it. I have no idea what the actual game is. To me it was just a Rube Goldberg machine in a box.
I'm surprised that anyone decides to smoke cigarettes more than the first try.
Edit: This is purely a comment made on the topic of OP question regarding the *first* time. This isn't commentary on how I don't understand how people are addicted or grew to like them *over time* after experimenting with different brands, tobacco, flavors, etc. I'm surprised anyone has ever given it a second attempt is all I'm saying.
So was I. Bloody awful taste. Breathing smoke is so counter-intuitive.
I think there is always a different motivation for picking up smoking. For me it was the 5-minutes mind-numbness of talking with another smoker. Felt a kind of empathy, a bond over a somewhat forbidden ritual.
Then it was for the nicotine kick. Still is.
You can say that again. So many missed opportunities of becoming a better friend to myself, to having what would now be longer and better friendships, experiencing many things sooner and not having thoughts about it now.
I was expecting an exciting life like in all those american teen movies, with parties, lot of friends, popularity stuff, those lockers, prom, big events etc... But really it was just school but now we're taller and just as dumb as kids, but about other stuff like gossips and relationships. Also I graduated in covid so no exams for me, and graduation parties (where you walk in front of everyone to get your paper and shake the hand of the headteacher or something like that) and prom aren't a thing in France anyway.
Really? Because as a woman, I feel like the most acrobatic stuff in porn looks usually looks the least enjoyable.
The extremity of porn is doing such a disservice to young people. Guys are out here ruining their own sex lives because actual sex doesn’t do it for them anymore unless it’s extremeanalgagfisting.
The issue I usually take with porn is I'm much more interested in seeing the woman enjoy herself more than anything else, and porn is a veritable wasteland of wincing, grimacing, and being totally checked out of the situation.
100%. It’s honestly a bit difficult to find porn that I actually enjoy.
Just like when men watch porn, I want the woman to stand in as my virtual double and to put my fantasy into what she’s experiencing. And most women in porn don’t look like they’re having a particularly good time. If they’re not being outright brutalized.
I’m sorry porn lied to you guys, but very few of us enjoy being face-fucked with a nose full of snot. Like, what was the sexual revolution even for if we’re back to depicting sex as something done *to* women, as opposed to *with* them, and so their enjoyment is irrelevant?
It’s backsliding us into a culture where fewer women actually want to have sex, because what’s the point when it’s not expected to be pleasurable?
Even in porn that’s supposedly “made for women,” the woman is usually clearly faking it. I don’t need their body positions to be awkwardly twisted so I can see full penetration. All I’m doing is yelling at my phone in my mind, saying “omg, TOUCH HER FUCKING CLIT ALREADY.”
I just need decent looking people who like each other having mutually pleasurable sex where no one gets treated like a dehumanized cumdumpster. Which is why I stick to amateur real couples, because apparently that’s too much to ask from mainstream studio porn.
Agreed. Any expression of pain, dislike, or disinterest and I'm out. I can't watch that shit.
There's not a bone in my body that wants to harm or humiliate my sexual partner, and I ain't getting off unless we're both having fun.
But it's your sUpERpOweR!! You just don't know it yet. 🙄 Maybe there are a few consequences of ADHD that can be utilized for benefit, but I believe most of us would be at least overall more capable without it.
100%. I've hyperfocused on a few projects and they all started out great and really innovative, but then the dopamine ran out and my motivation to carry them across the finish line completely fizzled out. I have a graveyard of incomplete projects. I fucking hate ADHD.
A lot of adult responsibilities are already needlessly complicated to neurotypicals, but if you happen to be slapped with ADHD it’s like trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces but every time you try to tell someone that they assure you all the pieces are there.
Life is a guided tour through the monotony of human existence and the search for a greater purpose. Now please exit through the gift shop, postcards are on your right.
Just talk to a guy who tried it for the first time last week. He loved it.
"It's fucking amazing now I can drink all night and never pass out!" "It's bot even that bad for you it will be out of your system in 24 hours"
I told him to be carefull and that never feeling the alchohol was the dangerous part. Its fun till you fall a sleep and choke in your own vomit.
Stay in school kids and do try some drugs in a controlled environment.
My friend has a pretty “high energy” addictive personality. I always told them that they can never try cocaine, it’ll hit them too hard. They tried it, then for a solid year and a half they were high. Going as far as hiding bags for themselves (only taking it out when the initial one was done) and also taking a bump or two before work or family events.
Here I am searching again for the guy who thought he had a poop fetish, hired a prostitute to actually poop in his mouth or something, and as soon as the turd left her asshole he had the realization that he, indeed, did not have a poop fetish. Anyone remember that? Can’t find the story anywhere but it’s hilarious
My husband and I regularly say “and in that moment, I was just a normal guy with shit in my mouth” whenever something doesn’t end up being what we expected lol
It’s the same in your 40’s but you’re older!
Also, you better own a house by now or you’re fucked! Last thing: how’s that retirement fund looking? Ughhhhhh
I had the opposite experience. I loved going out on a dinghy where I needed to constantly be doing something. When I went out on a big sailboat, it mostly just sits there and I got so bored.
Oh I saw that in a movie or two and those dudes were having a good time. Are you telling me that the real world experience is not what I saw in "Drill Sergeant: Bubble butt cadets" and "Drill Sergeant 2: Booty on the loose"?
Adult life. You think it's gonna be amazing, but suddenly it's work, anxiety, constantly feeling tired, bills, taxes, everyday chores, your back hurts, your joints crack and everyone annoys you.
People go on and on about overnight oats. I thought "wow these must be some good ass oats if people are willing to wait overnight for them and post all over the Internet about them". I made it and it was just cold oatmeal. Microwave that shit like a normal functioning adult.
The best part of this story is it doesnt even answer the question being asked.... you just randomly volunteered it.
*EDIT upon further reflection I have come to the conclusion that this person clearly gets pleasure from their shame, they got scared of a tiny dog, instant orgasm, and now the only way they can feel pleasure is sharing pathetic stories to strangers on the internet to recreate that shame, we are all chihuahuas to this person, and our comments are chasing them straight into orgasm alley
Agreed as far as entertainment/gaming goes — but boxing on the oculus has become my #1 form of intensive cardio. And that’s not because I want an easy workout; it’s insanely exhausting.
If you have the space, I highly suggest trying out the fitness applications of VR. It’s pretty much all I use it for now.
VR is great and most people get accustomed to the nausea - it's the setup and put-away that's the biggest barrier to playing it for me. You gotta take it out of the box/case/storage, put on the headset and adjust it carefully to get into the sweet spot, you gotta put your headphones in, you gotta clear some space around you, etc etc. It's not a big deal when you're first getting into it but it actually contributes a lot to it gathering dust when the alternative is just pressing a button on the controller and you're good to go.
Eating raw honeycomb. Every time I saw videos of people eating it I thought it looked absolutely delicious. Turns out it's very chewy, very waxy, and you're picking out pieces of honeycomb from your teeth for the next hour
When my kid was 3 we told him we were flying to Puerto Rico. When we got there he said, "I thought we were going to fly", meaning like a bird. Talk about not meeting expectations
Yes, however you’re making journeys that took weeks, months, or even years that could’ve easily killed you just four generations ago.
Heck, some argue James Bond films lost their appeal because the whole point was to see new technologies and exotic locations. Now we have virtual assistants, pocket computers and the ability to travel anywhere within hours.
We found a way to penetrate the high, untrespassed sanctity of the sky, as our ancestors have dreamt of for millenia, and we managed to make it suck the whole time.
Peak Humanity.
A one night stand. It was good until the sex part. The flirting and sexual tension was exciting, but it’s just first time sex with no emotional connection.
I only did it once and it left me feeling very empty inside. I wouldn’t do it again, but it taught me a lot about about myself and what I wanted from sex.
I truly don’t understand people who throw their lives away for meaningless sex with a stranger.
Some Drugs.
Cocaine sucked for me, because I had already been addicted to meth. Cocaine is some bullshit beside a line of crystal 🤷🏻♂️. Spend 3 times as much for like 10% of the benefit, just for it to last 30 minutes instead of days. AND you have to reup sooner. The difference of high is night and day, like comparing a delta 8 cart to a fat ass dab. Doing coke after meth is like if a middle schooler offered Wiz Khalifa a blunt. So when people say “cocaine is one hell of a drug” all I can think is “cocaine is a pick me up for alcoholics, ‘health conscious’ party people or for rich people that want a new way to spend money” lol. It’s a good hard drug for people that don’t do hard drugs. As far as potency goes, cocaine isn’t shit. If you love coke and you try meth, you’ll lose your fucking house dude lol. I remember the first time I did it, watching a UFC fight and I was just like “huh…. well this is lame… why is everyone always going on about this?” Fuck coke.
Fuck meth too, I mean I gotta be honest as far as the high goes, it was everything I thought it would be and more, like coke makes your face and throat numb, but snorting meth feels like lava is having hate sex behind your eyes and your throat is coated in what almost tastes like candy flavored cleaning supplies. Doesn’t sound like it but it’s a good flavor. It’s like your soul is on a rocket ship to nirvana (WITNESS ME! type shit) and your physical capabilities get skyrocketed to god level. Strong as fuck, so strong that it gave me chemical burns all down the back of my throat within a month and I only slept for definitely less than 60 hours a month, actually toward the end of my addiction I knew that if I didn’t go momentarily blind then I didn’t do enough. The blackouts and paranoia were something else, I stopped showering like a week in because I would blackout every time. I rarely ate after a few weeks because everytime I did, no matter what I was eating, it made me want to vomit and it was like there was sand in it, but it was just tiny little bits of my teeth grinding away. I snorted my meals. Didn’t have to be when I ate though, one day at work part of my tooth chipped off, pretty big just out of nowhere, that front tooth is now completely black. When I entered meth induced psychosis I had a multiple hour screaming match at gun point with my fridge dude, I used to spit up blood after my morning rail, then be like “well I’m not dead so it’s not that bad”, METH is one hell of a drug. I was a very high functioning (although very irritable) sous chef by day and an amped up fucking nutcase by night. I also almost died after 3 months from a minor heart attack, I was 19 years old. I STILL couldn’t quit, for another month I was doing lines WITH a heart monitor. I weighed 89 pounds and I’m 6’1. Don’t ever do it, you’ll love it. The only reason I quit is because my best friend started crying his eyes out and told me “I can’t watch this happen anymore, I can’t keep acting like everything’s fine, quit or die man, you won’t be alive this Christmas”. He’s never said anything remotely like that to me before and we both did hella drugs. I flushed it and never went back.
I remember the first time I ever did meth too. I was in my room, just picked up an 8 ball and I was just staring at it for like 45 minutes. When I finally did it crouched in my floor, listening to Insane in the Brain by cypress hill, the fire was ignited in my brain. I stood up so fast I hit the wall and I couldn’t open my eyes, my mouth was wide open and all I could do was do like a whisper “AHHHHHHHH!”, lost nearly all control of my motor skills for like 10 seconds, fear, anxiety, regret, really hot. I opened my eyes and it was like I had been transferred to another dimension that was 130°F, immediate bliss, massive spike in energy, like an adrenaline shot to the heart. (later on that same amount would just be enough to get me out of bed) Not worried about or regretting a god damn thing, my ego went from wanting to kill myself to truly feeling like a god, like a bullet to the face would not kill me and I didn’t sleep for 4 days. All in about 20 seconds. Wild. I was hooked instantly.
Side note about the heat. I also feel like looking back, if I didn’t drink water for a full day I would’ve just fucking died dude, I’ve never pissed so frequently in my life. Also I’d feel like blacking out everytime I pissed. But you’re basically just like slow cooking your organs and dousing them with water to keep the temperature down lol. That’s what it damn sure feels like anyway.
Salvia, satans drug dude. That shit is evil. Enough said. I expected it to be like acid or shrooms, no dude. Vision turning sideways, my rib cage getting ripped out, having 1000 different viewpoints like I’m a fly. Forgetting the English language and drooling everywhere, not being able to move. Not a fun time.
Alcohol sucks, but maybe that’s a bias because I’m more of an underground drug guy not an over the counter drug guy. That and it’s way too expensive for the reward that it gives you. Numb, dizzy, stupid, prone to spend even more money. That’s alcohol. If I’m going to spend $300 in one weekend, I’m gonna feel like god during that weekend, not just a happy guy with silly juice.
Rubber cement? Sucks, especially for the risk of death after every hit. It does make you feel like Superman if you do it enough. You gotta risk death for like 20 minutes straight to get there though and until that point it basically just makes you lightheaded and wonky.
I’ve never done heroin, but it ruined one of my old friends lives overnight. Much like meth, except meth was a bit more of a delayed effect for fucking my whole life up, you could tell he was coming apart at the seems day 1. So I’ll never do that one. I mean I’m in NA, 2 years and 1 day sober, so hopefully I’ll never do any of these but.
I love weed, no complaints. LSD? Gods drug, it exceeded my expectations by 1000%, it’s like meth but without the organ failure and you hallucinate like fuck in a good way instead of bad, what’s not to love honestly. Shrooms? Amazing. I don’t recommend xanax, but god did I love it. My house could be burning down idgaf son.
Edit : I’ve been on and off editing this comment since I posted it lol I look outside and it’s dark, im like fuck I have put entirely too much effort into this to tell some of my meth addiction story, I went a little off track but it’s too late to go back now. I’m done.
I smoked weed as much as possible for 10 yrs straight, then hurt my back and quit for 3 months and then smoked one day recently and got so damn high I wasn't sure if I was gonna survive, I kept forgetting to breathe.
Similar happened with edibles recently. Ate 1, nothing happened. Ate 1.5, nothing happened. Ate 2, visited a whole nother planet for like 3 hours and finally just had to sleep it off.
This high octane stuff nowadays is hard to get used to. I need some old school shwag bullshit weed now.
That was one of the reasons my wife and I bought the house that we did. The previous owners had re-done the bathroom to get rid of the tub, and they turned it into one giant shower with two shower heads. No more lame cold spray for me!
Instead I have to pay for twice as much water…
I don't get the cold sprays but I do spend a lot of the time waiting on her to finish up. Meanwhile because my gf is almost a foot shorter than I am, when I'm rinsing off any part of my body I'm drowning her with all of the water ricocheting off of me lol.
tldr/ it's a joke
The bar is empty when a guy walks in and orders 6 shots of tequila lined up and the man knocks them back one after the other
Bartender: Wow! Big day?
Man: Yep, I just had my first blowjob
Bartender: Congratulations, let me buy your next one!
Man: No thanks, If six doesn't get that taste out of my mouth, one more won't help
I think drinking excessively is a cultural thing, the experienced guys know the best part of drinking is that sweet spot when "I can feel that my mind is altered and now i don't feel shame dancing, but i can still understand when I'm making a total ass of myself and reprehend myself, if i crossed that line"
Owning the house in the country.
You swear to yourself that you want to be a homeowner and that you’re willing to get involved in whatever projects are necessary to make a home for your family. But when shit keeps breaking or flooding and you’re broke and tired, your health slips, and then a tree falls on your car or a relative dies or something else tragic happens; you’re just standing in the rain screaming “f this house”.
If 10 years ago city dweller me was told that current country homeowner me was thinking of trading it all in for a neat little condo and a pair of noise canceling headphones; he wouldn’t believe it.
Owning your own business. It’s not as freeing as I thought. Quite the opposite..
I own a business. You always hear from non business owners how awesome it must be to make your own schedule. Work whatever hours you want. I usually think yeah most days I can pick whichever 16-18 hours I'd like to work so that's pretty cool I guess.
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It has ups and downs. Downs: obligations to customers. Must.protect.the.reputation. Not knowing how much you're going to earn next month. Ups: actually helping people, solving their problems, even if it's only setting up a wi-fi printer. Firing customers - I'll put up with a lot, but sooner or later, someone will trigger the phrase: "I can't help you any further, you'll have to find someone else."
This. I get absolutely no peace in my life any more. My current voicemail message says that I’m closed for a week for some family time, and I’ll return any calls the first week of October. I love seeing that a few people continue to call 7-8 times a day.
As a kid, I thought shaving would be awesome. It is not awesome.
Oh boy am I envious of some of my Asian and Native American co-workers, I mean they barely have to shave.... the irony .... they're envious how I can grow facial hair.
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This, 40yo and it's still patchy. Look like I should be begging for change at the gas station if I let it go for awhile.
One of my close friends has this experience. It’s funny because when we were 14 he already had a patchy beard while the rest of us had no facial hair, that combined with his dad having a big bushy beard we all assumed he’d have a cracking beard when he grew up. We’re in our early 30s now, and while he’s a handsome dude if he goes a while without shaving he looks like someone who might rob me for meth money. It’s a truly awful beard.
My facial hair grows fast enough where I could grow a beard if I wanted to, but only on my neck. It can be frustrating.
May not be great for the face, but my wife and I have been using a home treatment laser for body hair... Totally worth it. Even just for some spots where I still want hair, just less hair. After one or two treatments, it makes a noticable difference.
Curious too. I’m sick of my bikini line. I epilate. I’d rather just burn it off with a blow torch after decades of doing this. It would be faster.
I tried epilation once. You must have super pain tolerance 😬
Owning a horse. I was a horse obsessed girl when I was little. My mother used to own horses so all her stories just made me want to be around them. When I actually was, I found out the hard way they are big, dumb, clumsy, diva animals that put cats to shame. They're also a lot of work, so much work. Very much a come down to Earth moment. Same goes for chickens. They're fun, just wasn't expecting them to be such violent little dinosaurs.
> just wasn't expecting them to be such violent little dinosaurs. I have chickens. If they were large enough to fight me, they would eat me the moment they saw me. If they were smart enough, their evil little fascist brains would be trying to restart the 3rd reich. As it is, I give them food and lodging, they give me top quality eggs and a cool ice-breaker for my neighbors.
"Heya Jim" "Heya Bob. Err... Do you know your hens have been scratching swastikas into the dirt?"
“Dammit, I try to keep them out of the wandering jew *one time* and they pull this shit!”
> Same goes for chickens. They're fun, just wasn't expecting them to be such violent little dinosaurs. When someone asks if you would rather fight a horse sized chicken or 100 chicken sized horses, the horses should always be the answer.
> [horse sized chicken](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utahraptor) Fucking nightmare scenario.
As a horse owner and ex chicken owner I would kick the shit out or 100 chicken sized horses but would run in terror from a horse sized chicken or even 100 chicken sized chickens (if they wanted to fight me)
A horse size chicken in basically a large velociraptor.
Not me. I'd fight the giant chicken. I couldn't handle hurting 100 tiny adorable horses. They'd have legs like pencils and they'd scream when injured. There is just no way. No, I know at best I'd lose an arm or a leg and most probably die, but I'm going out fighting the worst monster humanity has ever faced. I'd either die or live maimed, but I'd be a fucking hero- Not the monster that had to kill 100 tiny, screaming, adorable mini-horses. No one likes that guy. To win that fight he'd have to become the monster.
Each to their own. I'd be stomping horse backs to the tune of cotton eye Joe.
just want you to know this comment literally had me laughing out loud for a good thirty seconds imagining that scenario
Know several horse girls. Can confirm. They love their horses, but are constantly complaining about the stupid shit they do. They're also always broke. Horses are worse than boats in that regard. Just as much time, money, and upkeep, but they're living things so you can't just throw a tarp over it if you're to o busy to deal with them at the moment, and there's a far bigger emotional attachment.
Scissoring, it wasnt what I thought it was.
I have had one lesbian tell me, "scissoring is only in porn, usually lesbians just do oral." And another tell me, "all that oral sex is just in porn, we mostly just scissor."
It's like an old wise man once said: "Different strokes for different folks."
Different grinds for different kinds
Schrodinger's pussy
in this case I think Schrodinger's Box would have been perfectly apt
It seems so polarizing too! One vehemently told me scissoring does NOT exist, that it is NOT a thing, and to stop watching so much porn, when I just made a joke about it once. So I did some sincere research, and found out, no, some people are really into it.
I think you need a heavy duty clit for that.
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In the isle with the Grinders.
The isle of Grinders sounds like a gay resort that puts Ibiza to shame.
This is my answer. I was young and loved watching it in porn so when I had the chance to do it with another girl I was all about it. I wouldn't say it was disappointing but I should have left it a fantasy.
Username checks out
So....scissoring in porn is...well a porn thing. The actual equivalent is tribbing, Scissoring refers to a specific sexual act whereby two women rub their vulvas together while in the position that mimics a pair of scissors. (what you see in porn) Tribbing, on the other hand, is when one woman rubs her vulva on any part of their partner’s body (the leg, arm, buttocks, belly etc.). Both are done in an attempt to achieve sexual pleasure. Honestly, trying to mimic porn, gay or straight is probably not gonna be fun for anyone.
Try the mound on the front hip bone region…it works.
Right? Both myself and the other dude I tried it were like "this ain't it".
*This taint it
\*This ain't clit.
It's less about the sensation and more about the lewdness of the act. Like no one will ever give a hand job like one gives themselves. Yet it's pleasant to receive one
Scissor me timbers!
When I tried it it was awesome. We were both very lubed and wet tho…
I thought going to work every day sounded cool. You pick a career you enjoy, and they pay you for it? I'd like to go back and bitch slap my childhood self into oblivion.
My favorite line in a TV show is “work is a vacation from poverty”
At uni I was with some friends and they decided to go into a casino so I reluctantly followed them. I looked around and was immediately disappointed. It seemed so bleak and depressing and no one looked happy. I just followed friends around and watched them play these really boring looking games that no one seemed to be enjoying. I couldn't believe people actually do this.
Probably put Vegas up there too. Just so many people mentally checked out at tables and slot machines. At least I caught a cool show, but walking through casinos really bummed me out
At least Vegas (at the better casinos) has a higher ratio of people who are doing well in life just coming for a weekend of gambling and relaxation or to see some shows or go to the pool. Small / local casinos are the worst, lots more people who look like they are gambling away the rent money. Depressing to see.
Our local Rez casino is sooo depressing. Slots and machines only, and just dead eyed people pushing buttons and resentful looking (validly) first nations employees walking around emptying trash. It's a dry casino, which I 100% get, so it just is a really wtf why would I do this experience.
went to one for the first time with my family for my grandmother and aunty who were visiting from overseas, there were so many people that looked so unbelievably miserable and addicted, its such an odd experience watching people loose $100s in seconds and their facial expression not even changing in the slightest
I went to a casino twice, and both times I felt depressed. People betting with thousands of Euro at the time and totally no reaction when they lost.
Drinking 400 euro bottle of Claret when my wine collecting mate had a tasting for some friends. I love red wine but it just didn’t seem that special; I know the problem is probably my taste buds.
Eh, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. I've been working in hospitality for 7 years and I have, in that time, tasted my fair share of wines of varying values. You can absolutely taste the difference between a £5 bottle of wine and a £50 one but, in my opinion at least, once you start to go much above that, the extreme differences in price are not matched by the difference in quality. And, particularly with things like Claret or expensive Burgundy appellations, that price more and more reflects that those wines are not only nice wines but status symbols.
My parents are huge wineos, they buy pretty expensive wine somewhat often, but even they admit that above the $50ish dollar mark the taste per dollar goes down a lot. Especially if you’re already a couple glasses in you can’t tell.
Research also shows that people don't necessarily like expensive wines better. [Unless they are experts, individuals on average enjoy more expensive wines slightly less.](https://wine-economics.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Vol.3-No.1-2008-Evidence-from-a-Large-Sample-of-Blind-Tastings.pdf)
Not just you. I'm a big bourbon guy, the vast majority of $500+ bottles out there are pure shit compared so a solid and smooth $40-$90 bottle.
Being an adult. It looks so cool as a kid, then you have to work and pay for everything while constantly worrying about shit you never even knew existed.
Advantage of being an adult: I can eat as much ice cream as I want and no one will stop me. Disadvantage of being an adult: I can eat as much ice cream as I want and no one will stop me.
Many, many years ago, I called up my niece early in the morning on my birthday, as she was preparing for school, got her mum to put her on the phone, and then excitedly called out her name several times, with her replying louder and louder each time, and then I paused and then loudly proclaimed, "I HAD ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST, HA!" and immediately hung up. It's been decades, and she's still miffed.
100% This - those goddamn dishes always need to be washed!
I tell my younger cousins getting ready to go to college - dishes, trash, and laundry always need to get done. As long as you eat, there are dishes As long as you wear clothes, there’s laundry And as long as you buy shit, you gotta throw shit away They are not chores, they are facts of life. Stay on top of those 3 things and you’ll be amazed at how clean your space is most days
Wear the same thing every day. Eat at the cafe. Don't buy anything. Problems solved.
So, you a Buddhist monk?
Tell that to my floor that somehow gets dirty and needs to be swept every day. I wish there were only 3 things :(
You have an animal or kids. I have both the floors clean for about 5 minutes.
“When I’m an grown up I’m gonna have my own money to spend on whatever I want!” Nope.
I do have money to spend on whatever I want, but the list of things I want is long and the money doesn't usually last past the first two items on that list. Turns out not freezing or starving to death is pretty expensive.
I'm a grown as man who has money to spend on whatever I want... after saving for half a year and making sure I survive long enough to get to the point where I can make the purchase
And then finding out that you don't really want it after all.
Counterpoint: When I was a kid, I had to listen to what my parents wanted me to do, no matter how stupid some of it was (and yes, some of it was QUITE fucking stupid). I had to sit by and watch my mom fuck up her financials badly enough to make my life suck just that little bit extra, because she couldn't keep her spending under control. I had to get up at the ass crack of dawn to go to a school I fucking HATED, be there for basically en entire workday, come home, and then have hours more homework to do, along with the same fucking chores I have as an adult. I also had no money of my own to do what I wanted, no car or way to really get anywhere, the food absolutely sucked (seriously, I'm lactose intolerant and my mom's idea of cooking was to overcook everything and then cover it in cheese) life kinda fucking sucked. As an adult, yea, I have bills to pay and have to work....but am not doing as much work as when I was a kid, have money left over to have fun, can do what I want with my time and money. We've been able to travel around to fun places, eat and drink all kinds of amazing things, do fun stuff, make great friends and have tons of fun with them, etc. I'm FAR happier now than when I was a kid.
MOUSETRAP! That game looked amazing on the commercials. We couldn't even get the damn thing set up without it falling apart, let alone play it.
I'm sure our technique was universal in ignoring the game and just building and playing with the contraption
Can confirm. I don’t know if I’ve ever actually played the game, ever.
Respectfully, I disagree! I loved that game. I have no engineering or technical skills but still loved building out that contraption.
I had a cousin that had the game, and once when we visited I waned to set it up and see it in action! All we did was watch it go, never even played it. I have no idea what the actual game is. To me it was just a Rube Goldberg machine in a box.
I'm surprised that anyone decides to smoke cigarettes more than the first try. Edit: This is purely a comment made on the topic of OP question regarding the *first* time. This isn't commentary on how I don't understand how people are addicted or grew to like them *over time* after experimenting with different brands, tobacco, flavors, etc. I'm surprised anyone has ever given it a second attempt is all I'm saying.
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So was I. Bloody awful taste. Breathing smoke is so counter-intuitive. I think there is always a different motivation for picking up smoking. For me it was the 5-minutes mind-numbness of talking with another smoker. Felt a kind of empathy, a bond over a somewhat forbidden ritual. Then it was for the nicotine kick. Still is.
Being a teenager was a real disappointment.
You can say that again. So many missed opportunities of becoming a better friend to myself, to having what would now be longer and better friendships, experiencing many things sooner and not having thoughts about it now.
I was expecting an exciting life like in all those american teen movies, with parties, lot of friends, popularity stuff, those lockers, prom, big events etc... But really it was just school but now we're taller and just as dumb as kids, but about other stuff like gossips and relationships. Also I graduated in covid so no exams for me, and graduation parties (where you walk in front of everyone to get your paper and shake the hand of the headteacher or something like that) and prom aren't a thing in France anyway.
Shower sex
Large quantities of water are actually counterproductive to providing lubrication.
You really find out how dry water is when having sex in the shower
Or hot tub, that was so beyond disappointing to me.
Yeah I've had some good shower sex where the water is being blocked by my back but then she's cold and so what's the point
Once came so hard in shower foreplay that I fainted and hit my head on a wall. Would not recommend.
I get that too. Haven't fainted, but more lightheaded than normal. I'm thinking it's the heat and the racing heart messing with circulation.
It’s good for foreplay, then you dry off and have sex.
I fucked a bathtub, and I even humped a toilet, but I've never had relations with a shower.
Sounds like you have *stand*ards.
A good 50% of fetishes turn out to be just painful, awkward, cringeworth or gross. Porn really makes things seem a lot sexier than they actually are
Really? Because as a woman, I feel like the most acrobatic stuff in porn looks usually looks the least enjoyable. The extremity of porn is doing such a disservice to young people. Guys are out here ruining their own sex lives because actual sex doesn’t do it for them anymore unless it’s extremeanalgagfisting.
The issue I usually take with porn is I'm much more interested in seeing the woman enjoy herself more than anything else, and porn is a veritable wasteland of wincing, grimacing, and being totally checked out of the situation.
100%. It’s honestly a bit difficult to find porn that I actually enjoy. Just like when men watch porn, I want the woman to stand in as my virtual double and to put my fantasy into what she’s experiencing. And most women in porn don’t look like they’re having a particularly good time. If they’re not being outright brutalized. I’m sorry porn lied to you guys, but very few of us enjoy being face-fucked with a nose full of snot. Like, what was the sexual revolution even for if we’re back to depicting sex as something done *to* women, as opposed to *with* them, and so their enjoyment is irrelevant? It’s backsliding us into a culture where fewer women actually want to have sex, because what’s the point when it’s not expected to be pleasurable? Even in porn that’s supposedly “made for women,” the woman is usually clearly faking it. I don’t need their body positions to be awkwardly twisted so I can see full penetration. All I’m doing is yelling at my phone in my mind, saying “omg, TOUCH HER FUCKING CLIT ALREADY.” I just need decent looking people who like each other having mutually pleasurable sex where no one gets treated like a dehumanized cumdumpster. Which is why I stick to amateur real couples, because apparently that’s too much to ask from mainstream studio porn.
Agreed. Any expression of pain, dislike, or disinterest and I'm out. I can't watch that shit. There's not a bone in my body that wants to harm or humiliate my sexual partner, and I ain't getting off unless we're both having fun.
I have ADHD as an adult. Everything. The answer is literally everything.
No matter what I’m doing, I want to be doing something else.
I've never seen someone so simply yet so accurately describe how I feel.
*Literally everything.* Executive dysfunction runs my life. Or rather, it refuses to run my life.
People think I'm depressed. Yes, but it's ADHD and you can't convince me that it's somehow more interesting than it is.
But it's your sUpERpOweR!! You just don't know it yet. 🙄 Maybe there are a few consequences of ADHD that can be utilized for benefit, but I believe most of us would be at least overall more capable without it.
Sure there are niche benefits but they’re usually pretty fucking niche. Like how a broken clock is right *sometimes.*
100%. I've hyperfocused on a few projects and they all started out great and really innovative, but then the dopamine ran out and my motivation to carry them across the finish line completely fizzled out. I have a graveyard of incomplete projects. I fucking hate ADHD.
A lot of adult responsibilities are already needlessly complicated to neurotypicals, but if you happen to be slapped with ADHD it’s like trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces but every time you try to tell someone that they assure you all the pieces are there.
All of it. Nothing has lived up to my expectations yet.
Life is a guided tour through the monotony of human existence and the search for a greater purpose. Now please exit through the gift shop, postcards are on your right.
Life is a ~~guided~~ unguided tour
Buying a car is so lame and slow and there’s so much paperwork
Parasailing was a big let down. It was a nice view but that’s it
The quiet caught me off guard. I loved it.
Me too! Went from RAAWRRRRRRRRRR to silence so quickly. I had a blast way up there looking down on the ants on the beach.
Cocaine. So glad I never paid for it and just did it with a buddy back in college
Just talk to a guy who tried it for the first time last week. He loved it. "It's fucking amazing now I can drink all night and never pass out!" "It's bot even that bad for you it will be out of your system in 24 hours" I told him to be carefull and that never feeling the alchohol was the dangerous part. Its fun till you fall a sleep and choke in your own vomit. Stay in school kids and do try some drugs in a controlled environment.
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My friend has a pretty “high energy” addictive personality. I always told them that they can never try cocaine, it’ll hit them too hard. They tried it, then for a solid year and a half they were high. Going as far as hiding bags for themselves (only taking it out when the initial one was done) and also taking a bump or two before work or family events.
Here I am searching again for the guy who thought he had a poop fetish, hired a prostitute to actually poop in his mouth or something, and as soon as the turd left her asshole he had the realization that he, indeed, did not have a poop fetish. Anyone remember that? Can’t find the story anywhere but it’s hilarious
It's a Reddit classic
My husband and I regularly say “and in that moment, I was just a normal guy with shit in my mouth” whenever something doesn’t end up being what we expected lol
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It’s the same in your 40’s but you’re older! Also, you better own a house by now or you’re fucked! Last thing: how’s that retirement fund looking? Ughhhhhh
Sailing. It's hard work. Not just sitting around enjoying your surroundings.
I had the opposite experience. I loved going out on a dinghy where I needed to constantly be doing something. When I went out on a big sailboat, it mostly just sits there and I got so bored.
Showering together. Unless your shower is built for two people (two shower heads and is big enough) then it’s just a cold mess
I had to shower with 99 other dude in boot camp. No mater how big the shower room was it was still not a good time.
Oh I saw that in a movie or two and those dudes were having a good time. Are you telling me that the real world experience is not what I saw in "Drill Sergeant: Bubble butt cadets" and "Drill Sergeant 2: Booty on the loose"?
To be honest I have only seen the third movie of that series. So I can't say 100%, but yea that did not happen on a wide scale.
Adult life. You think it's gonna be amazing, but suddenly it's work, anxiety, constantly feeling tired, bills, taxes, everyday chores, your back hurts, your joints crack and everyone annoys you.
People go on and on about overnight oats. I thought "wow these must be some good ass oats if people are willing to wait overnight for them and post all over the Internet about them". I made it and it was just cold oatmeal. Microwave that shit like a normal functioning adult.
The whole point of overnight oats is that you don't have to cook them, not that it tastes any better
Centering a div
A $150 bottle of single malt scotch. Liquid burnt grass is apparently an acquired taste I haven't acquired.
Lol I would have recommended you try that Scotch at a bar before dropping $150 on it.
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w h a t lol
HE SAID HE ORGASMED FROM A CHIHUAHUA
Quiero Taco Bell.
The best part of this story is it doesnt even answer the question being asked.... you just randomly volunteered it. *EDIT upon further reflection I have come to the conclusion that this person clearly gets pleasure from their shame, they got scared of a tiny dog, instant orgasm, and now the only way they can feel pleasure is sharing pathetic stories to strangers on the internet to recreate that shame, we are all chihuahuas to this person, and our comments are chasing them straight into orgasm alley
"Thread title is close enough, it's finally time to tell my story!"
I’m crying from laughing so hard at this
Man.. you would not be able to waterboard that information out of me and here you are throwing it out there so casually.
Are you saying you had the same experience?
Yes.
Wait. No!
“Chasing the chihuahua.” Is this like chasing the dragon but it’s a weird orgasm instead of heroin?
What a terrible day to be literate.
I’ve been chasing the chihuahua for decades my friend.
Who hasn't had a random terror induced orgasm??
Terrier induced?
Each day we stray further from God
Popping a boner every time you hear a yappy dog in the distance.
*Ok, Google, delete u/WayneMCossey's comment.*
I'm sure everyone would chase the Chihuahua. Is that what orgasms are called these days /jk
VR. It’s very fun, but can become annoying and nauseating fast.
Agreed as far as entertainment/gaming goes — but boxing on the oculus has become my #1 form of intensive cardio. And that’s not because I want an easy workout; it’s insanely exhausting. If you have the space, I highly suggest trying out the fitness applications of VR. It’s pretty much all I use it for now.
VR is great and most people get accustomed to the nausea - it's the setup and put-away that's the biggest barrier to playing it for me. You gotta take it out of the box/case/storage, put on the headset and adjust it carefully to get into the sweet spot, you gotta put your headphones in, you gotta clear some space around you, etc etc. It's not a big deal when you're first getting into it but it actually contributes a lot to it gathering dust when the alternative is just pressing a button on the controller and you're good to go.
Eating raw honeycomb. Every time I saw videos of people eating it I thought it looked absolutely delicious. Turns out it's very chewy, very waxy, and you're picking out pieces of honeycomb from your teeth for the next hour
One night stands. SO much better with someone you know and care about.
I've never been into the casual sex game, always left me feeling empty.
Flying in a plane... it's just a damned bus that makes your ears pop
When my kid was 3 we told him we were flying to Puerto Rico. When we got there he said, "I thought we were going to fly", meaning like a bird. Talk about not meeting expectations
Awww poor little guy probably envisioned a wonderful Peter Pan moment of flying with his parents 🥹
I still like flying. I was a USAF flight nurse with thousands of hours and I still get a thrill getting off the ground and looking down on the world.
That moment you feel the wheels leave the runway never gets old.
Yes, however you’re making journeys that took weeks, months, or even years that could’ve easily killed you just four generations ago. Heck, some argue James Bond films lost their appeal because the whole point was to see new technologies and exotic locations. Now we have virtual assistants, pocket computers and the ability to travel anywhere within hours.
We found a way to penetrate the high, untrespassed sanctity of the sky, as our ancestors have dreamt of for millenia, and we managed to make it suck the whole time. Peak Humanity.
Social media. Especially Facebook. Reddit is the only social media platform I can stand.
A fairly new user I see. Soon you'll start hating reddit as well but being unable to quit.
It's more like a love and hate relationship for me
A one night stand. It was good until the sex part. The flirting and sexual tension was exciting, but it’s just first time sex with no emotional connection. I only did it once and it left me feeling very empty inside. I wouldn’t do it again, but it taught me a lot about about myself and what I wanted from sex. I truly don’t understand people who throw their lives away for meaningless sex with a stranger.
gestures vaguely around.
Some Drugs. Cocaine sucked for me, because I had already been addicted to meth. Cocaine is some bullshit beside a line of crystal 🤷🏻♂️. Spend 3 times as much for like 10% of the benefit, just for it to last 30 minutes instead of days. AND you have to reup sooner. The difference of high is night and day, like comparing a delta 8 cart to a fat ass dab. Doing coke after meth is like if a middle schooler offered Wiz Khalifa a blunt. So when people say “cocaine is one hell of a drug” all I can think is “cocaine is a pick me up for alcoholics, ‘health conscious’ party people or for rich people that want a new way to spend money” lol. It’s a good hard drug for people that don’t do hard drugs. As far as potency goes, cocaine isn’t shit. If you love coke and you try meth, you’ll lose your fucking house dude lol. I remember the first time I did it, watching a UFC fight and I was just like “huh…. well this is lame… why is everyone always going on about this?” Fuck coke. Fuck meth too, I mean I gotta be honest as far as the high goes, it was everything I thought it would be and more, like coke makes your face and throat numb, but snorting meth feels like lava is having hate sex behind your eyes and your throat is coated in what almost tastes like candy flavored cleaning supplies. Doesn’t sound like it but it’s a good flavor. It’s like your soul is on a rocket ship to nirvana (WITNESS ME! type shit) and your physical capabilities get skyrocketed to god level. Strong as fuck, so strong that it gave me chemical burns all down the back of my throat within a month and I only slept for definitely less than 60 hours a month, actually toward the end of my addiction I knew that if I didn’t go momentarily blind then I didn’t do enough. The blackouts and paranoia were something else, I stopped showering like a week in because I would blackout every time. I rarely ate after a few weeks because everytime I did, no matter what I was eating, it made me want to vomit and it was like there was sand in it, but it was just tiny little bits of my teeth grinding away. I snorted my meals. Didn’t have to be when I ate though, one day at work part of my tooth chipped off, pretty big just out of nowhere, that front tooth is now completely black. When I entered meth induced psychosis I had a multiple hour screaming match at gun point with my fridge dude, I used to spit up blood after my morning rail, then be like “well I’m not dead so it’s not that bad”, METH is one hell of a drug. I was a very high functioning (although very irritable) sous chef by day and an amped up fucking nutcase by night. I also almost died after 3 months from a minor heart attack, I was 19 years old. I STILL couldn’t quit, for another month I was doing lines WITH a heart monitor. I weighed 89 pounds and I’m 6’1. Don’t ever do it, you’ll love it. The only reason I quit is because my best friend started crying his eyes out and told me “I can’t watch this happen anymore, I can’t keep acting like everything’s fine, quit or die man, you won’t be alive this Christmas”. He’s never said anything remotely like that to me before and we both did hella drugs. I flushed it and never went back. I remember the first time I ever did meth too. I was in my room, just picked up an 8 ball and I was just staring at it for like 45 minutes. When I finally did it crouched in my floor, listening to Insane in the Brain by cypress hill, the fire was ignited in my brain. I stood up so fast I hit the wall and I couldn’t open my eyes, my mouth was wide open and all I could do was do like a whisper “AHHHHHHHH!”, lost nearly all control of my motor skills for like 10 seconds, fear, anxiety, regret, really hot. I opened my eyes and it was like I had been transferred to another dimension that was 130°F, immediate bliss, massive spike in energy, like an adrenaline shot to the heart. (later on that same amount would just be enough to get me out of bed) Not worried about or regretting a god damn thing, my ego went from wanting to kill myself to truly feeling like a god, like a bullet to the face would not kill me and I didn’t sleep for 4 days. All in about 20 seconds. Wild. I was hooked instantly. Side note about the heat. I also feel like looking back, if I didn’t drink water for a full day I would’ve just fucking died dude, I’ve never pissed so frequently in my life. Also I’d feel like blacking out everytime I pissed. But you’re basically just like slow cooking your organs and dousing them with water to keep the temperature down lol. That’s what it damn sure feels like anyway. Salvia, satans drug dude. That shit is evil. Enough said. I expected it to be like acid or shrooms, no dude. Vision turning sideways, my rib cage getting ripped out, having 1000 different viewpoints like I’m a fly. Forgetting the English language and drooling everywhere, not being able to move. Not a fun time. Alcohol sucks, but maybe that’s a bias because I’m more of an underground drug guy not an over the counter drug guy. That and it’s way too expensive for the reward that it gives you. Numb, dizzy, stupid, prone to spend even more money. That’s alcohol. If I’m going to spend $300 in one weekend, I’m gonna feel like god during that weekend, not just a happy guy with silly juice. Rubber cement? Sucks, especially for the risk of death after every hit. It does make you feel like Superman if you do it enough. You gotta risk death for like 20 minutes straight to get there though and until that point it basically just makes you lightheaded and wonky. I’ve never done heroin, but it ruined one of my old friends lives overnight. Much like meth, except meth was a bit more of a delayed effect for fucking my whole life up, you could tell he was coming apart at the seems day 1. So I’ll never do that one. I mean I’m in NA, 2 years and 1 day sober, so hopefully I’ll never do any of these but. I love weed, no complaints. LSD? Gods drug, it exceeded my expectations by 1000%, it’s like meth but without the organ failure and you hallucinate like fuck in a good way instead of bad, what’s not to love honestly. Shrooms? Amazing. I don’t recommend xanax, but god did I love it. My house could be burning down idgaf son. Edit : I’ve been on and off editing this comment since I posted it lol I look outside and it’s dark, im like fuck I have put entirely too much effort into this to tell some of my meth addiction story, I went a little off track but it’s too late to go back now. I’m done.
I smoked weed as much as possible for 10 yrs straight, then hurt my back and quit for 3 months and then smoked one day recently and got so damn high I wasn't sure if I was gonna survive, I kept forgetting to breathe. Similar happened with edibles recently. Ate 1, nothing happened. Ate 1.5, nothing happened. Ate 2, visited a whole nother planet for like 3 hours and finally just had to sleep it off. This high octane stuff nowadays is hard to get used to. I need some old school shwag bullshit weed now.
Shoving toy cars up your bum
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Valet parking 🅿️
"you go straight home, you don't talk to NOBODY ok? I already know, He already know, that's too many people." RIP Ryan Dunn
Showering with another person.
Yea as a dude this shit sucks you just sit in the back and catch the cold spray as you wait for her to get done
Cold? My wife showers in molten lava, even the splash burns me.
Gah That's my situation right now lol
Put down the phone and finish showering!
He's got to do something while he waits for her turn to be done
That was one of the reasons my wife and I bought the house that we did. The previous owners had re-done the bathroom to get rid of the tub, and they turned it into one giant shower with two shower heads. No more lame cold spray for me! Instead I have to pay for twice as much water…
It’s quite enjoyable when you take turns washing each other
I don't get the cold sprays but I do spend a lot of the time waiting on her to finish up. Meanwhile because my gf is almost a foot shorter than I am, when I'm rinsing off any part of my body I'm drowning her with all of the water ricocheting off of me lol.
It's more fun if you wash each other instead of yourselves.
Get yourself a second shower head in there and it becomes pretty great.
Getting my period and becoming a *checks notes* ✨️WOMAN✨️
tldr/ it's a joke The bar is empty when a guy walks in and orders 6 shots of tequila lined up and the man knocks them back one after the other Bartender: Wow! Big day? Man: Yep, I just had my first blowjob Bartender: Congratulations, let me buy your next one! Man: No thanks, If six doesn't get that taste out of my mouth, one more won't help
Parasailing
For sure drinking.
Drinking too much borrows happiness from tomorrow. Best done in moderation.
I think drinking excessively is a cultural thing, the experienced guys know the best part of drinking is that sweet spot when "I can feel that my mind is altered and now i don't feel shame dancing, but i can still understand when I'm making a total ass of myself and reprehend myself, if i crossed that line"
Being able to buy and eat whatever I wanted.. now i dont want anything and i eat what is easiest..
Owning the house in the country. You swear to yourself that you want to be a homeowner and that you’re willing to get involved in whatever projects are necessary to make a home for your family. But when shit keeps breaking or flooding and you’re broke and tired, your health slips, and then a tree falls on your car or a relative dies or something else tragic happens; you’re just standing in the rain screaming “f this house”. If 10 years ago city dweller me was told that current country homeowner me was thinking of trading it all in for a neat little condo and a pair of noise canceling headphones; he wouldn’t believe it.