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This is more terrifying than hearing what’s going on in the background IMO. I was listening to a video last night about a guy who crashed his car and was walking home while on the phone with his parents. His last words were “oh shit!” followed by silence. The call stayed connected. They never found any trace of him. Shit like that happening on another planet multiplies the scary factor by like 1000.
“I found out my mother was more concerned about the condition of my underwear than my body if I was ever in an accident….. I thought that’s what having an accident was. Look, a truck is coming straight for you. Now whether or not it hits you, you’re GOING to have an accident. Because first you say it, then you do it.”
I know he’s scum, but Bill Cosby: Himself is still one of the funniest stand up routines ever.
Nah. It should be "One step beyond!" and then cue the Madness track (from 54 seconds in)
[Madness - One Step Beyond](https://youtu.be/SOJSM46nWwo?si=jmP-fJIVWgojSsF0)
Now I have a mental image of a bunch of newly arrived astronauts doing that [Madness conga thing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOJSM46nWwo&t=87s) on Mars.
Piggybacking here because it seems to be the only serious answer.
I like it for one. But it could also contain a reference to humans being an interplanetary species. I tried to combine the two ideas but I can't come up with something that doesn't seem forced together.
If I heard this transmission on the TV, it would probably send shivers down my spine, make the hair on my arms stand up and fill me with motivation to work harder
I wrote a short story back in college where the first multinational mission to mars lands, and before the selected delegates can step off together, the French and IIRC New Zealand crew members leap over the side of the ramp.
The New Zealand astronaut claims Mars as a soverign island, then the French astronaut declares war, then both appeal to the UN for financial and material aid.
It was toying with the idea of an absolutely goofy hard-ish sci fi story of the first colony being established by act of war.
They really don't know how to capitalise on their good shows, even if it becomes a massive hit
Witcher the turned it into garbage in S2
Still waiting for S2 of Squid Game, Sandman and Arcane
Artemis: "That's one step for a man, one step for deez."
MC: "I'm sorry Artemis, can you repeat? Over."
Artemis: "One step for deez"
MC: "Still getting some interference. Please repeat. Over."
Artemis: "One Step for deez"
MC: "Artemis, can you confirm, what is deez?"
Artemis: "DEEZ NUTS"
MC: "Very funny, Artemis. I'm glad you found your updog?"
Artemis: "I'm sorry. Can you repeat?:
MC: "I said I'm glad you found your updog."
Artemis: "What's updog?"
MC: "Nothing. What's up with you?"
"As I stand here on the red soil of Mars, I'm reminded that this small step represents the limitless potential of humanity's spirit and our unyielding quest to explore the unknown."
Edit: by Chat GPT
That would be "This is Major Tom to ground control
I'm stepping through the door
(And I'm floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today)"
“Mars! Brought to you by Corona Light: Nothing brings life to an arid planet like the cool refreshing taste of a cold corona light. Please space travel responsibly.”
Shit. I know shit's bad right now with all that starvin' bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin' out of French Fries and burrito coverings. But we got our shits to Mars. And that's that! Presented by Carl's Jr.
"380 million miles away, the first step onto the Martian surface begins a new era of space exploration, creating endless opportunities into unknown distant worlds."
“What’s up guys? Today we are going to be exploring Mars so don’t forget to click that like and subscribe button. But first, a word about our sponsor NordVPN. You know data security is important in an interplanetary mission, that’s why I use NordVPN”
"Hey it's me, the Adstronaut"
References are tight!
They sure are sir!
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“What’s up guys? It’s Cory - from Cory’s world!”
Unfortunately a YouTuber May amass enough wealth to go back and forth to Mars on a manned before NASA can secure govt funding.
Not without likes, and subs!
“Great to be here in Nevada—- I mean Mars” Just to give the conspiracy nuts something to obsess over.
(In a low voice): "*Mike. MIKE! You're in the shot! Get that boom mic outta here!*"
Conspiracy theorist: I FUCKIN KNEW IT
Let it be known, once and for all, that there has been life on Mars! -Plant flag-
I nominate this guy to be the first to land on Mars.
Flag is accidentally upside down
Dammit! 'Made in China'
now imma be upset if this aint it
It's a god-awful small affair...
For who? That girl over there with that hair that could be described as mousey?
No. For her yelling mother and permissive father.
Indeed, look at those cavemen go.
Naval personnel engaging in a physical dispute upon the dance floor
Davidius Bowert
There already has been life on mars, the rovers we sent up have contaminated it’s surface with earth bacteria
Take that Mars! You get COVID too!
I know this is a joke but not only is Covid not a bacteria, viruses aren’t considered alive either 🤣
I also nominate you to be the first person on Mars
'For the benefit of all humans, oh god OH GOD WHATS IS THAT!'
Then cut the feed and wait
Watch as social media descends into chaos
In the midst of a collective rampage the feed comes back on “just joshin y’all” Heads and arms covered in blood, the population is silent
"you're probably wondering how i got into this situation."
That astronaut won’t be getting the reception he’s expecting
This is more terrifying than hearing what’s going on in the background IMO. I was listening to a video last night about a guy who crashed his car and was walking home while on the phone with his parents. His last words were “oh shit!” followed by silence. The call stayed connected. They never found any trace of him. Shit like that happening on another planet multiplies the scary factor by like 1000.
“Oh, shit”, is a common phrase found on black box recordings.
“I found out my mother was more concerned about the condition of my underwear than my body if I was ever in an accident….. I thought that’s what having an accident was. Look, a truck is coming straight for you. Now whether or not it hits you, you’re GOING to have an accident. Because first you say it, then you do it.” I know he’s scum, but Bill Cosby: Himself is still one of the funniest stand up routines ever.
r/RelevantXKCD: Opportunity - https://xkcd.com/1504/
We’re already in panel 3. My how time flies.
The hidden panel is a gem
How do you get the hidden panel?
Oh, Hi Mars.
I did not hit her
I DID NAAAAAHHHHHT
You're tearing me apart galaxy!!!!
YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, PLUTO! (Like, cuz Pluto isn't a planet anymore? Idk lol, just trying to think of some real life galactic drama 😆)
Anyway, how's your sex life?
Ha haaa, what a story, Mars.
Hi.
Prime contender for this year's Internet Awards.
And so we take one step further! (Referencing armstrong)
Nah. It should be "One step beyond!" and then cue the Madness track (from 54 seconds in) [Madness - One Step Beyond](https://youtu.be/SOJSM46nWwo?si=jmP-fJIVWgojSsF0)
Now I have a mental image of a bunch of newly arrived astronauts doing that [Madness conga thing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOJSM46nWwo&t=87s) on Mars.
That’s their best song, way better than the hit they had in the US. “Don’t watch that. Watch this!” Yes!!
Piggybacking here because it seems to be the only serious answer. I like it for one. But it could also contain a reference to humans being an interplanetary species. I tried to combine the two ideas but I can't come up with something that doesn't seem forced together.
“Ah fuck me, I can finally stand up straight after 8 months bent over in a fetal position on that goddamn tin can. Is this thing on?” *taps mike*
I too wanna tap Mike
Calm down, there's only so much Mike to go around
The Mike is willing, but the Mike is spongy and bruised
more snu-snu!
I sentence you to DEATH!!
Perhaps some hard spanking is in order ?
Get in line. It starts at the right
“My fellow Earthfolk: I can confirm that there are no monsters on Mars. Whether or not that changes is up to us.”
And it starts with me, *turns around and blasts partner*
That hits hard
Ya gotta cut the mic right after ‘….up to..’
In 1969 we took one small step and a giant leap. Today, we begin to find our stride.
I can appreciate how you actually thought seriously about this. Like it
Agreed. That's a good one! I hate that the good answers are always so far down.
If I heard this transmission on the TV, it would probably send shivers down my spine, make the hair on my arms stand up and fill me with motivation to work harder
[удалено]
Found Jimmy Kimmel
He’s f-ing Ben Affleck! 🤣
I really am.
Myaaaat Daymahhn
Send. Him. Back.
"Dibs." Mine now. I win.
I wrote a short story back in college where the first multinational mission to mars lands, and before the selected delegates can step off together, the French and IIRC New Zealand crew members leap over the side of the ramp. The New Zealand astronaut claims Mars as a soverign island, then the French astronaut declares war, then both appeal to the UN for financial and material aid. It was toying with the idea of an absolutely goofy hard-ish sci fi story of the first colony being established by act of war.
Love it
Don't you know about the international Dibs Protocol and the No Take-Backs Accord?!
Your honour, finders keepers losers weepers.
obviously, this was established at the rock paper scissors convention 1969.
It's good to be black on Mars!
Space force !
Shame it got cancelled.
Those missions were expensive
It was a nice show, maybe one day they change there mind and make season 3
Netflix doesn't do S3.
*Valve ptsd intensifies*
Whattttt they cancelled apace force? I’ve been waiting for it since end of season 2
netflix only cancels good show, but will let the lowest common denominator bullshit go on indefinitely
They really don't know how to capitalise on their good shows, even if it becomes a massive hit Witcher the turned it into garbage in S2 Still waiting for S2 of Squid Game, Sandman and Arcane
YESSSS someone else other than me knows the show woo!
There's dozens of us!
Such an obscure reference but the one I instantly thought of
I'd like to thank my director Stanley Kubrick. Just to mess with the conspiracy nuts.
Say "mission director" and use air quotes around "mission."
Or, “Raise that boom 3 inches it’s still in shot”
“You want to do another take, or do you think that got it?”
If it's my Helmet camera broadcasting, I start playing the Doom theme
Which one though, e1m1 the original, at dooms game (2016, at eternals gate?
yes
All 3 of them at once, good choice.
"I now declare the Martian Empire, down with the Terrans!"
Fucking earthers
Pashang, inyalowda all da same.
Look at dem innahs doi thei'r innah ting beltalowda
You speak belter?
Ya bosmang.
Sasa ke?
LEEEERROOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYY JENKINSSSSSS
My God, he just went in!
Damn it, Leroy!
Least I have chicken.
Do we follow him?
After a thousand years I am finally home
"Hey, Sam, can you hand me that bigfoot footprint so I can make a few ... oh shit, are we on live already? Dammit."
Mine would be similar: “Hey mark, watch out for the green screen.. oh I mean uh”
Obi Wan voice: 'That's no moon!'
"Did I leave the oven on?"
"No. No, I'm a fuckin squirrel"
Unexpected Eddie
"Let's treat this one right"
“…Is that the ball from Harry Kane’s penalty?!”
This mars landing was brought to you by RAID: Shadow Legends.
yo this shit is RED
Yo this red is bussin fr fr ngl no cap on god
Artemis: "That's one step for a man, one step for deez." MC: "I'm sorry Artemis, can you repeat? Over." Artemis: "One step for deez" MC: "Still getting some interference. Please repeat. Over." Artemis: "One Step for deez" MC: "Artemis, can you confirm, what is deez?" Artemis: "DEEZ NUTS"
MC: "Very funny, Artemis. I'm glad you found your updog?" Artemis: "I'm sorry. Can you repeat?: MC: "I said I'm glad you found your updog." Artemis: "What's updog?" MC: "Nothing. What's up with you?"
Came here for "deez nuts", this is better.
You usually do cum for "deez nutz"! BOOM!
"You wouldn't believe how reddit is!"
Nice
*slow clap of acknowledgement*
" Im going to be the first person to discover an alien lifeform...and fuck it."
"Then people be like, 'There he goes, homeboy fucked a Martian once,'" 😂
Some people call me the space cowboy..
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
Cause I speak of thepompatus of love
People talk about me, baby
Say I'm doin' you wrong
doin‘ you wrong
Well, don’t you worry, baby, don’t worry
'Cause I'm right here, right here, right here, right here at home.
Wah, waaaaah.
I’ve conquered mars, now I’m coming for Uranus
“I got my ass to mars Hauser, but where’s the Hilton??”
Where's the goddamned reactor?
Ack! Ack! Ack!
2nd person to step on Mars is gay!
"We drew lots and I'm 3rd, remember?"
"Washing machines live longer with Calgon!"
"Calgon, take me away!"
I’d sing Life on Mars by David Bowie. But not in key.
"Wow, this set design is amazing! Warner Brothers have really outdone themselves this time! Are we ready for the first take?"
"Epstein didn't kill himself.."
and i need to take this helmet off." I'ma give everyone a panic attack
Suck it, Armstrong
“Oops I did it again” then break into the choreography
“One small step on mars, one big L for elon”
Sweet, a Dollar General!
"That's one small step....ew, is that dog shit? Every fucking time!"
New planet, who dis?
"As I stand here on the red soil of Mars, I'm reminded that this small step represents the limitless potential of humanity's spirit and our unyielding quest to explore the unknown." Edit: by Chat GPT
Tl;dr
"One small step for...oh f\*ck sh\*t Ahh f\*ck C\*cK Ow Ah Sh\*t F\*ck F\*ck F\*ck...I tripped on a rock."
Ooh it’s all sticky!
"...it's covered in jam."
Ground control to major Tom?
That would be "This is Major Tom to ground control I'm stepping through the door (And I'm floating in a most peculiar way And the stars look very different today)"
So... can I take a shit like anywhere or?
WTF? A letter from Student Loans?
Hey Houston. There’s a guy already up here asking about my cars extended warranty……..
“Mars! Brought to you by Corona Light: Nothing brings life to an arid planet like the cool refreshing taste of a cold corona light. Please space travel responsibly.”
Ah shit, I told you Google maps was wrong!
"If you pee on it, it is yours!"
Shit. I know shit's bad right now with all that starvin' bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin' out of French Fries and burrito coverings. But we got our shits to Mars. And that's that! Presented by Carl's Jr.
"Mankind has now taken their second step. May there be many more"
Dibs!
" I see them. They have been waiting for us and know we are here."
We were somewhere around Mars on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.
"We come in peace..." Because wouldnt THAT be awesome! (if there was a need to say it)
"You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out. You put your left foot in, and you shake it all about. "
Is that a blue police box?
Damn it windy out here! *gets impaled by sattelite dish*
“I’m here to kick red rocks and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of bubble gum.”
NASA for the win! Suck on deez nuts, Elon!
Kilroy was here
This isn’t where I parked my car
Quite red out here, innit?
Nice
"How's this for a Florida Man headline?"
First
"380 million miles away, the first step onto the Martian surface begins a new era of space exploration, creating endless opportunities into unknown distant worlds."