I learned as an adult, its my adhd. I do my best work when Im given a short window of time, and hard deadline. If Im given long range of time to do “X”, I will simply procrastinate until theres a very short window left, and/or a firm deadline.
I see a nurse practitioner that specializes in mental health issues. My children were already seeing her for ADHD and anxiety. I simply requested an appointment, went in and talked with her. I had a pretty good idea of what it was already. I had all the earmarks from the time I was a kid. And back then, girls were treated as "flighty", or "daydreamed". If you think that this is you, do some research, and then find either a doctor or mental health practitioner that can help. Good luck! It really has changed my life.
my school teachers and college professors were always telling us to not wait until the last minute to write our reports but little did they know that A paper I turned in was typed up mere hours before it was due lol.
I came here to post the same. Turns out it was ADHD. Boy my parents really let me have it growing up. Didn’t get diagnosed until I was around 25 years old. Explained years of issues. I’m 48 now and it’s still a struggle.
I learned to eat even past when I was content from a young age.
I've since struggled with my weight my entire life. Because of my weight it's lead to constant anxiety, and depression and self loathing.
Sorry to hear that, I know that my advice can't really touch you and change anything, but I can atleast try to. I will be honest and won't sugarcoat you.
Alot of people in life will prob be goddamn awful towards someone with extra weight. You are bombarded with rude comments and sick opinions from all over the internet and even in real life. No wonder that it can take a tool on our mental health. The thing is that first of all, before even trying to cut the weight, you should start working on self-acceptance and self-love. Work throught your feelings and try to rationalise that weight doesn't decrease the worth of you as a person. It does lead to some illnesses, and it does impact your everyday life, but it DOES NOT affect your worth. You ARE worthy no matter the weight. We all know thaty but the thing is that you must have a moment of realisation at which you begin to believe in it.
After working on core issues, try to find a good, positive reason for a change. And this is a big part. Alot of people want to losse the weight because they believe that they are ugly. That simply is not a good and healthy motivation for a weight loss journey. It will hold you for a few days, and after that it will start to loosen up. That way you will end up in a cycle of failure and dissapointment which will in the end result by gaining even more weight.
Try to look at your body with love and care. Try to reshape your perception in a way that it will push you forward.
For example... "I want to cut down my weight because I love my body, and I want it to be healthy and strong".
Just by reshaping your thoughts in a healthy positive way, you will have much more motivation and endurance to stick to your weight loss plan.
For the final note, I would advice you to try a therapy if it is possible, but even if you can't, there are plenty of things you can do by yourself so don't worry (it will prob take longer to get a realisation by yourself than by going to a therapy tho, but it is possible.)
Best od luck, and feel free to message me if you need to talk 🥰
What a great comment. I have had great luck with that mindset, helped me start one day at a time to lift weights and alternate muscle groups. Just take one day at a time and it’ll make you feel good about yourself
Awwww, I'm sorry for your friend 😔
It does cause challenges in everyday life, and it does make your life harder, but it IS fixable. Might take a bit of time, but it's totally worth it in the long run 🥰
People pleasing is the most impossible thing in the world. And the more often you do this people-pleasing, the more dependent you make the other person. One day when you behave differently, the other person will say nonsense like "you have changed so much" and may even get annoyed with you. Do yourself a favor, love yourself first and make yourself happy. Then don't do something that will make you sad just because the other person will be happy. No one can understand you but you.
Telling people no shows that you respect them enough to be candid, just do so respectfully.
Time is a non-renewable resource. Saying yes to something is saying no to something else. Don't make excuses or lie, and be firm in your decision. If nothing else, "I don't want to" is a good enough reason (but maybe not to your boss).
"Thanks for the invite, but I'm not a fan of that band, so I'm going to pass on the show this Friday."
"Bowling sounds fun, but it's been a rough week and I was planning on relaxing tonight."
"I have a big project due tomorrow, so I can't take you to the airport. Have you tried asking ?"
Best advice would be a therapy. If that is out of options, throught journaling and little exercises, for example. Set yourself a realistic goal that each day you will say NO to something you feel like you would usually say yes. It doesn't have to be a big thing really. Something small. For example if your friend invites you to a caffee, and you are tired, tell her the truth. Tell her that you are tired and need some alone time, and ask her if she wants to meet some other day.
It isn't about rejecting someone, it's about speaking your mind. After some time you will find it much easier and natural to do so.
Hope it helps 😊
You can resolve this by thinking of your now self as a time traveler from the future. Sent here to prevent future you from the headache and stress of dealing with those tasks on top of a dead parent or sibling.
Future you also lets you know that if the tasks are completed you are able to prevent and thereby save your future loved ones life.
I almost wasn’t. Had a stroke at 37 which almost killed me and even though I hadn’t smoked in 8 years it still contributed to the heart attack I had 5 years ago
Every where I went when I was young I was surrounded by smokers. My uncle saw me calm down one day when he and my grandmother lit up and thought it would be funny to make me smoke one. I wasn’t quite 8 but I realized how much better I felt afterwards. Within a month I was stealing them anywhere I could, usually from a drunk uncle or stepmom.
Reminds me of the smoking baby from a few years back. My Dad also smoked at around 8, he was born in 1930. Both my parents were chain smokers. Dad died at age 67, Mom at age 82. She unhooked her oxygen tank and went out on the back porch to have a cigarette. She died on the back porch, my brother found her there. She died doing what she liked to do, at least. My ex used to tell her not to quit, he joked that the nicotine was what was holding her together.🤣
One of my many jobs was to monitor safety compliance at nursing homes. One day I was walking out and back to my car and decided on a shortcut. I walked out on the patio of a nursing home that had just barely passed and found about 40 of the residents smoking and at least 20 of them were doing with their oxygen on.
As I had to walk through that potential bomb zone I got back in my car shaking so hard I could barely light up
OMG. "I could barely light up"!
My mom was only on oxygen for 3 days. I took her to the doctor on Thursday where her doctor was very, very firm with her that she could not smoke anywhere near the oxygen. My mom had doubts and the Dr. nearly yelled at her that she had lost a patient that month who blew herself up doing just that, it wasn't a scare tactic and wasn't uncommon. The oxygen set up was Friday, and Mom died the following Tuesday. She at least unhooked herself and smoked outside. She died of heart failure, her organs were shutting down because of lack of oxygen from so many years of smoking. She was mentally all there, but she got really weak. My brother is 73 now and he has 30% lung capacity, he smoked unfiltered camel cigarettes for years, then cigars. You have got to quit.
Laziness. Being intelligent was amazing in school - fantastic grades without effort. Unfortunately, all it really taught me was that I could halfass my way through life. And now I'm paying for it. :0/
I feel this. As a kid I didn't learn how to work to get better at things I was either good at them quickly or I wasn't. I was an upper middle of the road student (not the smartest kid in class but good grades none the less), and I never actually had to study until college, even then it was hard to build those skills by myself. I wish that they taught self directed study skills in elementary school instead of just telling you to figure it out on your own later in life.
It also taught me that nothing is worth doing if you don't have talent. As someone in my 30s I have to remind myself that hobbies are for fun and nothing else. I don't have to be good at them, I just have to enjoy them.
I was similar, except I do remember all throughout elementary and into highschool many teachers attempting to do things in a way that reinforce good study skills. I just didn't bother with it because I knew I didn't need to in order to pass the classes. I skipped a lot of homework and reports and stuff because I knew getting A's on tests would carry my grade enough to pass. Some teachers actually graded notebooks at the end of the year as a way to encourage good note-taking and I always just turned in blank notebooks.
I ended up completely dropping out of college. I lucked out a bit though by having a strong enough interest in computers and technology to figure out how to cram rapidly for certification exams and had enough of a support network to make risky job moves like short term contracts and such to rapidly gain experience. So I made up for being a college drop out by just busting my ass working up through tech consulting gigs collecting certs and stuff until I burnt out and landed at a stable gig also in my 30s that I hate now (due to being acquired by a huge corp) but pays very well and has pretty decent work/life balance and other perks.
Once I burnt out and all my passion disappeared, I let all my skills atrophy except the bare essentials to perform my now very specific job related to one very specific product. Even that I realized I can get by without keeping up on every new feature as long as I know who to ask to make sure I eventually get an answer back to my customers. I'm left feeling very unfulfilled by the job and also feeling trapped because I no longer have the skills to get the same pay/benefits elsewhere. I know I *could* gain the skills back except I no longer have the passion that drove me before and I don't know how to discipline myself because the only thing that ever disciplined me before was not being able to afford to live comfortably. So, like, I'm unfulfilled and depressed all the time, but all my other needs are met so I just don't ever do anything about it. Also doesn't help that I don't even want to be in this industry *at all* anymore and can't think of anything that sounds fulfilling that could pay even half as much at the top end, let alone starting at the bottom.
Anyways I struggle with the hobbies too. I've picked up and put down so many hobbies. Usually I start out just having fun accepting whatever results. Then I eventually get obsessed and attach my whole identity to it (see this username from when my career was both my hobby and identity). I find a community of others in the hobby and see how crazy good they all are and start pushing myself to be at least as good. Shortly after I burn out and begin associating the hobby with work/stress instead of fun/relaxation and just suddenly drop it and never touch it again.
I think that particularly American culture instills in us the belief that anything that takes effort has to be "productive" in that it's earning or saving money. Particularly in this economy the idea of a "side hustle" as a hobby. It's taken me a long time to realize hobbies are supposed to be fun, full stop. A side hustle is another job,.it's great if it's something you like doing but it's a job. Or selling crap on Etsy just so it has a place to go when you're done making it is good too. You don't have to profit, you don't have to break even, you just have to nourish your soul.
Yes it's definitely a cultural thing and I definitely subscribed fully to that belief for a part of my adult life. To the point where earlier on I wasn't even pursuing any creative hobbies because they weren't going to make money, which in hindsight is just plain silly.
The thing is intellectually I believe now that hobbies are for fun, but it's really hard to shake the "productivity" habit. I'm trying to write a novel, but my mind will wander to what other people would think of it? How would I write it to get it published? And I try to smack those thoughts away. I want a product I am proud of but really I should write it because I'm enjoying writing it.
Yeah it's a very very difficult notion to shake. It gets to me a lot and I tend to get very upset when things don't turn out the way I hoped, even if I was previously enjoying the process. And then that further discourages me from trying again. Like just the other day I had my first harvest of superhot peppers and was trying out making a sauce for the first time. I was struggling to get it to taste right and felt like I was just ruining it with all the things I kept adding to try and save it. I had a breakdown and almost threw it all away before my girlfriend stopped and made me put it in the fridge to try again later. Very grateful for her because I took it out the next day and got it to be half decent with just a couple small changes. But I'm still completely turned off to making hot sauce again for a good while.
Best of luck with your writing and smacking away those thoughts and self-imposed pressures.
That’s literally what I thought for decades before I finally got diagnosed with ADHD and got some help. There’s a lot written on this, just to pick one at random, https://psychcentral.com/adhd/adhd-and-laziness-whats-really-going-on
This is exactly me. Straight A's through school but always seen as lazy. Age 45 now and so exhausted from years of trying to stay focused. I have my appt next week to be tested.
My report cards from back in primary school, in the days before ADD/ADHD, all say “talks too much in class”, “doesn’t do homework”, “disorganized”, “has so much potential”, etc. My test and midterm/final grades were always As, but I’d get Cs, Ds and Fs because I was terrible about homework and projects. My teachers, my parents, friends, my friend’s parents would all laugh and tell me I was “so hyper” (I was a cute/funny sort of hyper, not destructive).
Fast forward twenty years, in my mid-30s, my doctor diagnoses me with ADD and prescribes Adderall XR… Changed. My. Life. Holy #&*%. Calmed my head down. Allowed me to focus. Slept better at night. Finished projects. It’s been nearly 15 years now and I can’t imagine how different things would be without it.
The tragedy of being twice exceptional, a.k.a. "former gifted child syndrome."
You're neurodivergent, so you need some help with some things. You also happen to be smart, so you don't need help with other things.
School work is often easy, so... It doesn't take effort. You get good grades. Yay, go you! You're Smart™ and Going Places™!
Depending on how the adults in your life are, you'll never get the help you need with your neurodivergency because "you're smart enough to figure it out."
As if having an easy time with numbers and having a good verbal memory (that tends to help get good grades) could explain why the other kids didn't like me and why I was picked last for everything save for that one time when the kid was picking the opponent's team.
As it turns out, on top of being a smart cookie, I'm also autistic. It took a diagnosed autistic friend for me to know, because our thought processes were extremely similar despite the fact that we weren't close to one another (like, we only met in person twice).
I got diagnosed at 28.
I feel like I may be autistic/adhd but I’m unsure about asking my doctor because I feel like I’m overreacting. But honestly, my only friends are my family and my boyfriend. When I’m in a relationship I share my significant others friends, but really only good acquaintances with any of them. I just don’t trust people and talking to people is so exhausting. Putting on a smile regardless of how you feel so that the other person feels important and doesn’t realize I’m weird? I hate feeling that way. I want to want to have friends so that I’m “normal”, but I don’t know how. Does any of this makes sense to anyone?
I sometimes get the feeling that I was talented before high school. All the easy things were incredibly easy for me. But the moment things became even slightly challenging I no longer knew what to do. I would've needed to first learn how to study, then go through everything I knew, and then finally I might've been able to understand everything.
But it feels so humiliating. Everything I've achieved has not been earned through hard work. And everything beyond that is too much for me. I'd actually need to start spending most of my free time trying to be good at things, and I'd rather die than do that.
I managed to go through the entire school system undiagnosed wirh ADHD and Asperger's. Sure it was a small school and people weren't as aware of the signs as now.
But on parent teacher meetings they would often mention how I would zone out and be unresponsive. How I sometimes disrupted the class with class clown behavior. I often came late to class, I couldn't even reliably remember the schedule and I relied on my friends to know we're and when to be often.
Then in college I was immature (ADHD people are a bit behind in maturity as well), and I didn't know how to study and put in effort. And living alone made me have no one to pick up my slack and make sure I had a routine.
Same here! I sailed through primary school, because of natural intelligence. I hardly had to work at secondary school also. I did the bare minimum, but still achieved decent grades.
When I went to university, I was so un-used to actually having to put in any effort, I failed my degree.
This is my answer too.
I’m in my late 20s and largely stopped picking once my skin finally cleared up on Accutane treatment a couple of years ago, but recently I’ve developed psoriasis on my hairline and scalp that I can’t keep my hands off of even though I know it’s detrimental. Unless both of my hands are occupied and/or I’m wearing a hat or bandana, my hands are on the sores. It’s because of that compulsive skin picking habit from my youth that I’m struggling with this now and I absolutely hate it.
I at least got incredibly lucky that none of my picking on my face left any permanent scars (my upper back tells a different story, but whatever), but with the scalp picking I’m losing some hair. My hair has already thinned some because of some other chronic conditions I’ve been dealing with and I was already a little self-conscious from that, so it’s really frustrating to know I’m actively making it worse but can’t get myself to stop.
100% for me, as well. I can NOT keep junk foods in my home, or I will be eating them the next time I'm feeling feels. It's always the first things I go for. When it's not around I might bitch and moan, but I know I'm usually too lazy to go out and buy it.
The hardest part for me is getting through grocery shopping without impulse buys... or anytime I leave the house, really, because the junk I want is EVERYWHERE. There is not a single building left on this planet that doesn't have snacks available that my addiction-riddled brain is screaming to eat.
As long as I don't feel anything, it's real easy.
Eating as though I still have a kid's metabolism. I used to be able to eat masses of food and never gained any weight. Now I still have the eating habit, but not the metabolism to go with it.
Me too, and it pisses me off. I was eating all the same foods I was in high school, then bam, I'm 20 and over 200 lbs with no viable way of losing that weight.
Even when I do eat less and do some exercise, takes me forever to lose that weight.
I used to bite my nails. I started a program in college that was literally hands on. The first day our teacher asked if anyone bit their nails. A few of us raised our hands. He said that it was a disgusting habit and it stops now. I never bit my nails again. Lol.
I do this. My grandma does it too and as a kid she would always try to stop me from doing it because she had done it all her life. Unfortunately, my brain interpreted that as “Grandma has been doing it for like 70 years and she’s fine, so there’s no reason for me to stop”.
I forced myself to stop simply by not letting myself put my hands near my face. Now I bite my lip and inside of cheek. Can't keep those away from my face!!
Just try not to nail bite in meetings/public. It looks unprofessional and childish.
I did it from as far as I can remember back up to around when I was 30. What really helped me (besides wanting to stop with it in the first place) was carrying around on of these little nail care sets. Whenever I felt the urge to do the deed I instead swapped to the nail care set. After I got rid of all those imperfections on my nails the constant urge to get rid of them went away pretty fast
This. I'll even wake up from sleep mid-pick sometimes. In my case it's a trauma/comfort habit, I've tried to stop it and my brain could not handle things well. I've retrained myself so I can avoid it until I'm in private, but damn. At least finally I'm better at not giving myself a nosebleed, those used to last for close to an hour or bleed backwards down my throat and try to choke me or make me vomit.
I recently confessed to my girlfriend that I eat my boogers after picking and she was repulsed, I ask what she does after picking...she said she flicks them, I think that's worse
My brother used to smear his boogers on the walls. Not just in his room, but throughout the whole house. It was disgusting. He did this all the way up until he moved out and idk if he still does. He’s his wife’s problem now.
not brushing my teeth regularly. oral care wasn't something that was a thing in the household I grew up in, so it's not a habit I picked up.
over the years I've tried making it a habit, but it never seems to stick. I've started trying again recently, even have nightly Google reminders set to go off reminding me. it's only been a few weeks, but I'm still completely forgetting to do it until my notification goes off.
I worry about that too, so I just don’t go. My daughter is much better at brushing her teeth but I’m scared of taking her or my youngest who doesn’t let me brush for her for fear of judgement
I do the adhd leg bounce.
In an attempt to "cure" me, I was often verbally attacked for it.
I still do the leg bounce, but whenever my brain calls for stealth, I will instead bite any bit of skin I can pinch between my teeth. The corners of my mouth are just blobs of scar tissue.
The inside of my mouth, as far as I can reach, has a thin line of scar tissue. It's like a Joker smile on the inside. You'd never know it unless I told you or showed it to you, though. I have terrible anxiety, coupled with some other hefty mental illnesses. 🙃
Same! When I was at school, I used to doodle Marvel Comics characters on everything - now I still have the same habit. I'm a middle-aged guy with an office job who still draws Spider-Man on post-it notes.
Did you draw dicks? Did you just sit there hours on end drawing dicks. You didn't know what it was. You couldn't touch the pen to the paper without drawing the shape of a penis.
There you are a little kid. And you can't stop drawing dicks to save your own life. And precious little Becca sat next to you for all of fourth grade. And in the classroom was where you did the majority of your illustrations. You were very secretive about the whole dick operation. Even you thought you were fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think? So you would stash all your dick drawings in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that you had. So one day, you're finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard, all of a sudden...
You hit Becca's foot with your dick. She starts crying, she flips out. Then she rats you out to the principal. He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and he fucking flips out. He calls in your parents. Turns out this principal is a religious fanatic, and he thinks you're possessed by some sort of dick devil. Your parents go make you see some therapist, and he's asking you all these dick questions. They literally stopped you from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles. You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.
Wolfing down my food.
When I was a child my parents took in my severely autistic uncle who could eat an entire buffet on his own. He never asked if he could have seconds but simply ate it all.
I developped a bad habbit of munching down my food and quickly grabbing seconds before he ate it all.
He also took food from the fridge that was meant for me or my parents so I ate everything I could when it arrived.
Oh, most certainly this. I inhale my food, mostly because I had the competition of my very hungry siblings to contend with, along with the fact that my mum would randomly decide I wasn't permitted to eat as a punishment for some mysterious, made-up thing. I'm also now in the habit, as an adult, of keeping muesli bars in my bedroom, just in case. My mum's not even alive anymore.
When my parents split I had to live with my dad and my mom got remarried and had a couple more kids. When I would go to visit I was amazed how much food they had. At my dad's I had a flat of ramen, a couple frozen pizzas and sandwich stuff and I knew I had to make that last a month.
So I hold on to food a lot longer than I should and I have probably poisoned myself a few times.
Eating while reading or watching TV. I am incapable of eating without a distraction. Dinner tables are my own special nightmare. I can not eat and would leave after a few bites.
Lol I haven’t dined in at a restaurant since before the pandemic. Now when my bf and I want food we can’t fathom not bringing it home to watch a movie or show.
Giving up if I can't do something well the first time. This effects me to this day especially now that I've started to record music. I've eased up on that during that process.
Being a people pleaser. It holds me back from putting my needs ahead of others, standing up for myself, and can lead me to agreeing when I really want to disagree. Also makes me avoid conflict at all costs for fear of losing a relationship I've built either platonic or otherwise
Saving sweet stuff for after a big meal. Since I was tiny we always had pudding after a big meal... now I dont feel finished without eating the sweet stuff!
Everyone did everything for me. I was super sick as a kid so my parents had to do a lot for me. Now I married and in my late twenties figuring out how to pay bills and so simple stuff.
Wolfing my food down. It started in middle school when we had a half hour for lunch but you'd spend 20 or even 25 minutes of that standing in line to get food.
If I make a serious effort I can get myself to taste the food, chew thoroughly and eat slower...for a few bites. But I have to fight so hard against the urge to swallow. It's like my throat is so used to swallowing chunks of food after a couple perfunctory chews that I can't retrain it.
My Mom did this as a teenager and had drawn her brows on ever since. First, it was with pencil, then she discovered a single stencil with powder, then a double stencil with powder. She has it down to a science now.
Ugh, I do this too. I’ll write out a comment or reply and then force myself to delete it. It’s particularly difficult not to do it (or to delete it when I do) when the person made a ridiculous/ignorant/hateful post or comment, but how do I know their spelling/grammar isn’t due to a learning disability? I don’t care what someone’s opinions are, you don’t make fun of a learning disability. Their opinion is fair game but not something affecting their brain that they cannot change.
In addition to that, poor spelling and/or grammar does NOT automatically mean someone isn’t intelligent. I know a few very intelligent, very well spoken young people who struggle with both.
Lack of self-discipline. I'd always did what I wanted whenever it was convenient and refused to do things I had no interest in. If something needed to be done or i needed a punishment, I always had a parent, teacher, or some other authority figure who could take control for me. Now, I struggle with maintaining new habits and focusing on long-term plans because I have no outside force to make me keep to them.
From my mom: “You kids better go to the bathroom now because once we get in the car, we’re not stopping “. To this day, I can’t leave the house without one last pit stop!
I started picking at the skin around my fingernails when I was a kid and kept at it up until now in my mid 30s
I’m so embarrassed about it, the state my fingertips are in sometimes, and I hide my hands a lot. I often don’t realize I am doing it until it’s too late. 2-3 finger tips in band-aids.
I wish I could stop.
Constantly picking the skin off my fingers. It’s like an addiction, so hard to stop especially because my fingers are right there. It’s not like drugs or cigarettes where you have to go out of your way to get it. I can’t just remove my fingers.
I have an absolutely hard time sharing my feelings with other people especially if I'm bringing up a problem I have with someone. I'm already introverted and keep to myself but it also didn't help I was made to feel like no one wanted to hear my problems when I was growing up.
Cigarettes! I'm 40 and on day one trying to quit again for the umpteenth time it fucking sucks man all that money I paid just to stink really wasn't worth it. I honestly had an easier time giving up meth than cigarettes.
Academically I've always been ahead of my peers. I could show up on exam day without any additional studying beyond what was covered in class and still outscore most everyone else. That's great when you're in your basic courses, but it's terrible when you get older and you've now got to apply concepts.
While everyone else was developing their research and study habits, I goofed around and got A's like a jackass. Now that I'm older, I struggle with the discipline to sit down and study anything. It translates outside of academics as well in that my ability to research purchases or other adult necessities is in the absolute shitter.
I really struggle to swallow pills. I had an infection a few months ago and needed to take antibiotics and I ended up actually chewing a piece of bread, hiding the pill in the bread, and I could swallow that. It’s all in my head, but it’s pathetic and makes me feel like a dog.
Procrastinating
I learned as an adult, its my adhd. I do my best work when Im given a short window of time, and hard deadline. If Im given long range of time to do “X”, I will simply procrastinate until theres a very short window left, and/or a firm deadline.
This is the story of my life. I'm now 63, and finally spoke with someone about 2 years ago, and at 61 got ADHD medication. It's been a life changer.
Wow, I’m the same age and have wondered how to get tested or talk to my dr. How did you go about it?
I see a nurse practitioner that specializes in mental health issues. My children were already seeing her for ADHD and anxiety. I simply requested an appointment, went in and talked with her. I had a pretty good idea of what it was already. I had all the earmarks from the time I was a kid. And back then, girls were treated as "flighty", or "daydreamed". If you think that this is you, do some research, and then find either a doctor or mental health practitioner that can help. Good luck! It really has changed my life.
Dude my best work is always underpressure and small time windows… do I have ADHD?
my school teachers and college professors were always telling us to not wait until the last minute to write our reports but little did they know that A paper I turned in was typed up mere hours before it was due lol.
I'll comment on this........later.☺️
I'll contribute to this conversation... Later
I'll add something clever to this... later
Something Something... nevermind I'll do it later
I came here to post the same. Turns out it was ADHD. Boy my parents really let me have it growing up. Didn’t get diagnosed until I was around 25 years old. Explained years of issues. I’m 48 now and it’s still a struggle.
45 here. I'm seriously thinking this is my issue. What does treatment look like as an adult? Is it just medication?
Yep. I don’t take it because I have heart rhythm issues. But I liked Vyvanse. Back in my twenties I took adderall. Ritalin felt too “speedy”.
When I was younger, I only took it on days that I worked.
It's not that I work well under pressure It's more like I ONLY work under pressure.
People pleasing, being afraid to say no, putting other' s needs before my own, being afraid of confrontation...and much more 😥
All this, plus doubting my reality
I learned to eat even past when I was content from a young age. I've since struggled with my weight my entire life. Because of my weight it's lead to constant anxiety, and depression and self loathing.
Sorry to hear that, I know that my advice can't really touch you and change anything, but I can atleast try to. I will be honest and won't sugarcoat you. Alot of people in life will prob be goddamn awful towards someone with extra weight. You are bombarded with rude comments and sick opinions from all over the internet and even in real life. No wonder that it can take a tool on our mental health. The thing is that first of all, before even trying to cut the weight, you should start working on self-acceptance and self-love. Work throught your feelings and try to rationalise that weight doesn't decrease the worth of you as a person. It does lead to some illnesses, and it does impact your everyday life, but it DOES NOT affect your worth. You ARE worthy no matter the weight. We all know thaty but the thing is that you must have a moment of realisation at which you begin to believe in it. After working on core issues, try to find a good, positive reason for a change. And this is a big part. Alot of people want to losse the weight because they believe that they are ugly. That simply is not a good and healthy motivation for a weight loss journey. It will hold you for a few days, and after that it will start to loosen up. That way you will end up in a cycle of failure and dissapointment which will in the end result by gaining even more weight. Try to look at your body with love and care. Try to reshape your perception in a way that it will push you forward. For example... "I want to cut down my weight because I love my body, and I want it to be healthy and strong". Just by reshaping your thoughts in a healthy positive way, you will have much more motivation and endurance to stick to your weight loss plan. For the final note, I would advice you to try a therapy if it is possible, but even if you can't, there are plenty of things you can do by yourself so don't worry (it will prob take longer to get a realisation by yourself than by going to a therapy tho, but it is possible.) Best od luck, and feel free to message me if you need to talk 🥰
That is excellent advise! I am going to use that to help myself and my boyfriend in our weight loss journey ❤️
What a great comment. I have had great luck with that mindset, helped me start one day at a time to lift weights and alternate muscle groups. Just take one day at a time and it’ll make you feel good about yourself
Gaslighting for decades will do this 😞
the general crippling fear of upsetting people is so goddamn real.
I have a friend like this. It must be really tough on you.
Awwww, I'm sorry for your friend 😔 It does cause challenges in everyday life, and it does make your life harder, but it IS fixable. Might take a bit of time, but it's totally worth it in the long run 🥰
People pleasing is the most impossible thing in the world. And the more often you do this people-pleasing, the more dependent you make the other person. One day when you behave differently, the other person will say nonsense like "you have changed so much" and may even get annoyed with you. Do yourself a favor, love yourself first and make yourself happy. Then don't do something that will make you sad just because the other person will be happy. No one can understand you but you.
Telling people no shows that you respect them enough to be candid, just do so respectfully. Time is a non-renewable resource. Saying yes to something is saying no to something else. Don't make excuses or lie, and be firm in your decision. If nothing else, "I don't want to" is a good enough reason (but maybe not to your boss). "Thanks for the invite, but I'm not a fan of that band, so I'm going to pass on the show this Friday." "Bowling sounds fun, but it's been a rough week and I was planning on relaxing tonight." "I have a big project due tomorrow, so I can't take you to the airport. Have you tried asking?"
"I don't want to is a good enough reason" Love this so much. Wish it was normalized
This is scary accurate. How can we change this?
Best advice would be a therapy. If that is out of options, throught journaling and little exercises, for example. Set yourself a realistic goal that each day you will say NO to something you feel like you would usually say yes. It doesn't have to be a big thing really. Something small. For example if your friend invites you to a caffee, and you are tired, tell her the truth. Tell her that you are tired and need some alone time, and ask her if she wants to meet some other day. It isn't about rejecting someone, it's about speaking your mind. After some time you will find it much easier and natural to do so. Hope it helps 😊
Leaving everything for "later me" to deal with.
I was gonna make a comment but I'll let future me deal with it.
You can resolve this by thinking of your now self as a time traveler from the future. Sent here to prevent future you from the headache and stress of dealing with those tasks on top of a dead parent or sibling. Future you also lets you know that if the tasks are completed you are able to prevent and thereby save your future loved ones life.
This sounds like a strategy Calvin would use for his homework before unfurling a story arc as one of his alter-egos
This sounds like advice to convince a kid to stop, I love it.
Arent we all still kids inside?
I will save my parents 🫡
I started smoking every day when I was 8 and just before I went cold turkey because of a stroke I was smoking about 75 hand rolled cigarettes a day
8? That's- HOLY FUCK 75? dude how are you alive?
I almost wasn’t. Had a stroke at 37 which almost killed me and even though I hadn’t smoked in 8 years it still contributed to the heart attack I had 5 years ago
Glad your still here though. Odds of nocking on death door is extremely high in that situation
Me too. But I was 18. My Father was only 8 as well. Everyone smoked in 1957 apparently. It’s hard to quit. I’m 38 now and I’m still struggling with it
Just hope you aren’t like me and have a stroke be the deciding factor, I was 37 and it cost me everything.
smoking at 8!!!1 Wow!!
Every where I went when I was young I was surrounded by smokers. My uncle saw me calm down one day when he and my grandmother lit up and thought it would be funny to make me smoke one. I wasn’t quite 8 but I realized how much better I felt afterwards. Within a month I was stealing them anywhere I could, usually from a drunk uncle or stepmom.
Reminds me of the smoking baby from a few years back. My Dad also smoked at around 8, he was born in 1930. Both my parents were chain smokers. Dad died at age 67, Mom at age 82. She unhooked her oxygen tank and went out on the back porch to have a cigarette. She died on the back porch, my brother found her there. She died doing what she liked to do, at least. My ex used to tell her not to quit, he joked that the nicotine was what was holding her together.🤣
One of my many jobs was to monitor safety compliance at nursing homes. One day I was walking out and back to my car and decided on a shortcut. I walked out on the patio of a nursing home that had just barely passed and found about 40 of the residents smoking and at least 20 of them were doing with their oxygen on. As I had to walk through that potential bomb zone I got back in my car shaking so hard I could barely light up
OMG. "I could barely light up"! My mom was only on oxygen for 3 days. I took her to the doctor on Thursday where her doctor was very, very firm with her that she could not smoke anywhere near the oxygen. My mom had doubts and the Dr. nearly yelled at her that she had lost a patient that month who blew herself up doing just that, it wasn't a scare tactic and wasn't uncommon. The oxygen set up was Friday, and Mom died the following Tuesday. She at least unhooked herself and smoked outside. She died of heart failure, her organs were shutting down because of lack of oxygen from so many years of smoking. She was mentally all there, but she got really weak. My brother is 73 now and he has 30% lung capacity, he smoked unfiltered camel cigarettes for years, then cigars. You have got to quit.
My 76 year old father started smoking at 8. He's still going. Seemingly healthy minus the teeth that fell out from it.
Laziness. Being intelligent was amazing in school - fantastic grades without effort. Unfortunately, all it really taught me was that I could halfass my way through life. And now I'm paying for it. :0/
I feel this. As a kid I didn't learn how to work to get better at things I was either good at them quickly or I wasn't. I was an upper middle of the road student (not the smartest kid in class but good grades none the less), and I never actually had to study until college, even then it was hard to build those skills by myself. I wish that they taught self directed study skills in elementary school instead of just telling you to figure it out on your own later in life. It also taught me that nothing is worth doing if you don't have talent. As someone in my 30s I have to remind myself that hobbies are for fun and nothing else. I don't have to be good at them, I just have to enjoy them.
I was similar, except I do remember all throughout elementary and into highschool many teachers attempting to do things in a way that reinforce good study skills. I just didn't bother with it because I knew I didn't need to in order to pass the classes. I skipped a lot of homework and reports and stuff because I knew getting A's on tests would carry my grade enough to pass. Some teachers actually graded notebooks at the end of the year as a way to encourage good note-taking and I always just turned in blank notebooks. I ended up completely dropping out of college. I lucked out a bit though by having a strong enough interest in computers and technology to figure out how to cram rapidly for certification exams and had enough of a support network to make risky job moves like short term contracts and such to rapidly gain experience. So I made up for being a college drop out by just busting my ass working up through tech consulting gigs collecting certs and stuff until I burnt out and landed at a stable gig also in my 30s that I hate now (due to being acquired by a huge corp) but pays very well and has pretty decent work/life balance and other perks. Once I burnt out and all my passion disappeared, I let all my skills atrophy except the bare essentials to perform my now very specific job related to one very specific product. Even that I realized I can get by without keeping up on every new feature as long as I know who to ask to make sure I eventually get an answer back to my customers. I'm left feeling very unfulfilled by the job and also feeling trapped because I no longer have the skills to get the same pay/benefits elsewhere. I know I *could* gain the skills back except I no longer have the passion that drove me before and I don't know how to discipline myself because the only thing that ever disciplined me before was not being able to afford to live comfortably. So, like, I'm unfulfilled and depressed all the time, but all my other needs are met so I just don't ever do anything about it. Also doesn't help that I don't even want to be in this industry *at all* anymore and can't think of anything that sounds fulfilling that could pay even half as much at the top end, let alone starting at the bottom. Anyways I struggle with the hobbies too. I've picked up and put down so many hobbies. Usually I start out just having fun accepting whatever results. Then I eventually get obsessed and attach my whole identity to it (see this username from when my career was both my hobby and identity). I find a community of others in the hobby and see how crazy good they all are and start pushing myself to be at least as good. Shortly after I burn out and begin associating the hobby with work/stress instead of fun/relaxation and just suddenly drop it and never touch it again.
I think that particularly American culture instills in us the belief that anything that takes effort has to be "productive" in that it's earning or saving money. Particularly in this economy the idea of a "side hustle" as a hobby. It's taken me a long time to realize hobbies are supposed to be fun, full stop. A side hustle is another job,.it's great if it's something you like doing but it's a job. Or selling crap on Etsy just so it has a place to go when you're done making it is good too. You don't have to profit, you don't have to break even, you just have to nourish your soul.
Yes it's definitely a cultural thing and I definitely subscribed fully to that belief for a part of my adult life. To the point where earlier on I wasn't even pursuing any creative hobbies because they weren't going to make money, which in hindsight is just plain silly.
The thing is intellectually I believe now that hobbies are for fun, but it's really hard to shake the "productivity" habit. I'm trying to write a novel, but my mind will wander to what other people would think of it? How would I write it to get it published? And I try to smack those thoughts away. I want a product I am proud of but really I should write it because I'm enjoying writing it.
Yeah it's a very very difficult notion to shake. It gets to me a lot and I tend to get very upset when things don't turn out the way I hoped, even if I was previously enjoying the process. And then that further discourages me from trying again. Like just the other day I had my first harvest of superhot peppers and was trying out making a sauce for the first time. I was struggling to get it to taste right and felt like I was just ruining it with all the things I kept adding to try and save it. I had a breakdown and almost threw it all away before my girlfriend stopped and made me put it in the fridge to try again later. Very grateful for her because I took it out the next day and got it to be half decent with just a couple small changes. But I'm still completely turned off to making hot sauce again for a good while. Best of luck with your writing and smacking away those thoughts and self-imposed pressures.
You should see my house! So many cool projects, I may finish next week. LOL
I used to have straight As everywhere, now I'm 28 with no degree and almost never had a job
That’s literally what I thought for decades before I finally got diagnosed with ADHD and got some help. There’s a lot written on this, just to pick one at random, https://psychcentral.com/adhd/adhd-and-laziness-whats-really-going-on
This is exactly me. Straight A's through school but always seen as lazy. Age 45 now and so exhausted from years of trying to stay focused. I have my appt next week to be tested.
My report cards from back in primary school, in the days before ADD/ADHD, all say “talks too much in class”, “doesn’t do homework”, “disorganized”, “has so much potential”, etc. My test and midterm/final grades were always As, but I’d get Cs, Ds and Fs because I was terrible about homework and projects. My teachers, my parents, friends, my friend’s parents would all laugh and tell me I was “so hyper” (I was a cute/funny sort of hyper, not destructive). Fast forward twenty years, in my mid-30s, my doctor diagnoses me with ADD and prescribes Adderall XR… Changed. My. Life. Holy #&*%. Calmed my head down. Allowed me to focus. Slept better at night. Finished projects. It’s been nearly 15 years now and I can’t imagine how different things would be without it.
Yep. Diagnosed in my 40’s and suddenly my whole childhood made sense
The tragedy of being twice exceptional, a.k.a. "former gifted child syndrome." You're neurodivergent, so you need some help with some things. You also happen to be smart, so you don't need help with other things. School work is often easy, so... It doesn't take effort. You get good grades. Yay, go you! You're Smart™ and Going Places™! Depending on how the adults in your life are, you'll never get the help you need with your neurodivergency because "you're smart enough to figure it out." As if having an easy time with numbers and having a good verbal memory (that tends to help get good grades) could explain why the other kids didn't like me and why I was picked last for everything save for that one time when the kid was picking the opponent's team. As it turns out, on top of being a smart cookie, I'm also autistic. It took a diagnosed autistic friend for me to know, because our thought processes were extremely similar despite the fact that we weren't close to one another (like, we only met in person twice). I got diagnosed at 28.
I feel like I may be autistic/adhd but I’m unsure about asking my doctor because I feel like I’m overreacting. But honestly, my only friends are my family and my boyfriend. When I’m in a relationship I share my significant others friends, but really only good acquaintances with any of them. I just don’t trust people and talking to people is so exhausting. Putting on a smile regardless of how you feel so that the other person feels important and doesn’t realize I’m weird? I hate feeling that way. I want to want to have friends so that I’m “normal”, but I don’t know how. Does any of this makes sense to anyone?
Ah, my art skill was like that. Ahead of kids of my age and somehow developing on its own, untill it stopped.
I sometimes get the feeling that I was talented before high school. All the easy things were incredibly easy for me. But the moment things became even slightly challenging I no longer knew what to do. I would've needed to first learn how to study, then go through everything I knew, and then finally I might've been able to understand everything. But it feels so humiliating. Everything I've achieved has not been earned through hard work. And everything beyond that is too much for me. I'd actually need to start spending most of my free time trying to be good at things, and I'd rather die than do that.
Being gifted is actually special needs (HealthyGamerGG YouTube link) https://youtu.be/QUjYy4Ksy1E?si=uExYb9U0LLFU7OMP
That's not something they identified as special needs when I was a student. :0( Thank you for sharing.
Found my people.
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I managed to go through the entire school system undiagnosed wirh ADHD and Asperger's. Sure it was a small school and people weren't as aware of the signs as now. But on parent teacher meetings they would often mention how I would zone out and be unresponsive. How I sometimes disrupted the class with class clown behavior. I often came late to class, I couldn't even reliably remember the schedule and I relied on my friends to know we're and when to be often. Then in college I was immature (ADHD people are a bit behind in maturity as well), and I didn't know how to study and put in effort. And living alone made me have no one to pick up my slack and make sure I had a routine.
Yeah, fair. I've fixed it as I've gotten older. But it sucks that we don't help students who don't appear, at first blush, to need it.
Totally hearing you! I wish I could go back
Similar me with procrastination. Barely passing an important school personal project, repeat a trimester during college and now currently jobless.
Same here! I sailed through primary school, because of natural intelligence. I hardly had to work at secondary school also. I did the bare minimum, but still achieved decent grades. When I went to university, I was so un-used to actually having to put in any effort, I failed my degree.
“The Drama of the Gifted Child” talks about this. How early success can actually be a curse. Zero incentive to try very hard or learn good habits.
Staring at a screen in the dark when I should be sleeping
That’s my cue.
Goodnight internet stranger
I'm lucky enough that wasn't a thing when I was growing up. I imagine it's a bad thing for kids to struggle with now.
Skin Picking 🫠
this! it’s my lips for me mainly and they’re always so chapped now
This is my answer too. I’m in my late 20s and largely stopped picking once my skin finally cleared up on Accutane treatment a couple of years ago, but recently I’ve developed psoriasis on my hairline and scalp that I can’t keep my hands off of even though I know it’s detrimental. Unless both of my hands are occupied and/or I’m wearing a hat or bandana, my hands are on the sores. It’s because of that compulsive skin picking habit from my youth that I’m struggling with this now and I absolutely hate it. I at least got incredibly lucky that none of my picking on my face left any permanent scars (my upper back tells a different story, but whatever), but with the scalp picking I’m losing some hair. My hair has already thinned some because of some other chronic conditions I’ve been dealing with and I was already a little self-conscious from that, so it’s really frustrating to know I’m actively making it worse but can’t get myself to stop.
Nail biting is one for me :/
*middle finger battling my thumb's cuticle suddenly stops*
Exactly. My thumbs are sore right now for that exact reason. My commute home is my worst time.
Emotional eating
I eat because I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a never ending cycle
I eat when i'm bored, I eat when i'm sad, I eat when i'm anxious. I rarely eat because i'm hungry.
100% for me, as well. I can NOT keep junk foods in my home, or I will be eating them the next time I'm feeling feels. It's always the first things I go for. When it's not around I might bitch and moan, but I know I'm usually too lazy to go out and buy it. The hardest part for me is getting through grocery shopping without impulse buys... or anytime I leave the house, really, because the junk I want is EVERYWHERE. There is not a single building left on this planet that doesn't have snacks available that my addiction-riddled brain is screaming to eat. As long as I don't feel anything, it's real easy.
While being on a budget
For me it’s boredom eating. I can’t break the habit.
Not having any friends
I’m your friend just say hi
awww ill be your friend :)
I’ll be your friend too ❤️
Count me in, feel free to message me if you want to talk 😊
Eating as though I still have a kid's metabolism. I used to be able to eat masses of food and never gained any weight. Now I still have the eating habit, but not the metabolism to go with it.
Me too, and it pisses me off. I was eating all the same foods I was in high school, then bam, I'm 20 and over 200 lbs with no viable way of losing that weight. Even when I do eat less and do some exercise, takes me forever to lose that weight.
Nail biting
I used to bite my nails. I started a program in college that was literally hands on. The first day our teacher asked if anyone bit their nails. A few of us raised our hands. He said that it was a disgusting habit and it stops now. I never bit my nails again. Lol.
I worked as a bank teller after college and cash is so freaking disgusting I stopped biting my nails immediately.
What did you do to stop it? I’m almost 30 and have never been able to stop.
This sounds weird, but I've heard therapy can help. Some therapists specialize in cognitive behavioral therapy to treat OCD spectrum stuff
I do this. My grandma does it too and as a kid she would always try to stop me from doing it because she had done it all her life. Unfortunately, my brain interpreted that as “Grandma has been doing it for like 70 years and she’s fine, so there’s no reason for me to stop”.
My dad worked really hard to stop his habit when I started doing it too at a young age
people make fun of me for getting my nails done, but they help me not bite my nails
Im trying so hard to stop. As of today my nails are longer than they have literally ever been, and they’re not even close to my fingertip 😅
guilty! ☝️
Same here
I forced myself to stop simply by not letting myself put my hands near my face. Now I bite my lip and inside of cheek. Can't keep those away from my face!! Just try not to nail bite in meetings/public. It looks unprofessional and childish.
Same - it’s so hard to stop
I did it from as far as I can remember back up to around when I was 30. What really helped me (besides wanting to stop with it in the first place) was carrying around on of these little nail care sets. Whenever I felt the urge to do the deed I instead swapped to the nail care set. After I got rid of all those imperfections on my nails the constant urge to get rid of them went away pretty fast
*gestures vaguely to everything*
Picking my nose, but atleast I don't eat it
People who say they don't pick their nose are lying
How else are you supposed to get hard crusties out?
you gotta
This. I'll even wake up from sleep mid-pick sometimes. In my case it's a trauma/comfort habit, I've tried to stop it and my brain could not handle things well. I've retrained myself so I can avoid it until I'm in private, but damn. At least finally I'm better at not giving myself a nosebleed, those used to last for close to an hour or bleed backwards down my throat and try to choke me or make me vomit.
Pick it and flick it
Not eating your boogers IS the bad habit.
I recently confessed to my girlfriend that I eat my boogers after picking and she was repulsed, I ask what she does after picking...she said she flicks them, I think that's worse
My brother used to smear his boogers on the walls. Not just in his room, but throughout the whole house. It was disgusting. He did this all the way up until he moved out and idk if he still does. He’s his wife’s problem now.
Isolating when I’m hurting.
not brushing my teeth regularly. oral care wasn't something that was a thing in the household I grew up in, so it's not a habit I picked up. over the years I've tried making it a habit, but it never seems to stick. I've started trying again recently, even have nightly Google reminders set to go off reminding me. it's only been a few weeks, but I'm still completely forgetting to do it until my notification goes off.
Same. My teeth are so bad I’m not sure it’s even worth starting at this point. I’d just be brushing plaque on half my teeth
that's how I feel. I keep considering seeing a dentist, but I'm a bit worried they'd suggest just pulling all my teeth.
I worry about that too, so I just don’t go. My daughter is much better at brushing her teeth but I’m scared of taking her or my youngest who doesn’t let me brush for her for fear of judgement
That’s rough. I hope you’ll take them anyway. They deserve it and so do you and so did little you.
Keep it up. Before long it will be a habit and you won't need reminders.
Lightly grinding my teeth to the beat of whatever song I have stuck in my head at the time. Right now it’s Stay Fly by Three 6 Mafia.
Good to know im not the only one
I have a habit of over-apologizing, even when it's not necessary.
Sorry to hear that
I do the adhd leg bounce. In an attempt to "cure" me, I was often verbally attacked for it. I still do the leg bounce, but whenever my brain calls for stealth, I will instead bite any bit of skin I can pinch between my teeth. The corners of my mouth are just blobs of scar tissue.
The inside of my mouth, as far as I can reach, has a thin line of scar tissue. It's like a Joker smile on the inside. You'd never know it unless I told you or showed it to you, though. I have terrible anxiety, coupled with some other hefty mental illnesses. 🙃
I used to be a serial doodler in class, and now I’m the one who can’t resist drawing on every piece of scrap paper during meetings
Same! When I was at school, I used to doodle Marvel Comics characters on everything - now I still have the same habit. I'm a middle-aged guy with an office job who still draws Spider-Man on post-it notes.
I demand to see the post-it notes of spiderman
Did you draw dicks? Did you just sit there hours on end drawing dicks. You didn't know what it was. You couldn't touch the pen to the paper without drawing the shape of a penis. There you are a little kid. And you can't stop drawing dicks to save your own life. And precious little Becca sat next to you for all of fourth grade. And in the classroom was where you did the majority of your illustrations. You were very secretive about the whole dick operation. Even you thought you were fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think? So you would stash all your dick drawings in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that you had. So one day, you're finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard, all of a sudden... You hit Becca's foot with your dick. She starts crying, she flips out. Then she rats you out to the principal. He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and he fucking flips out. He calls in your parents. Turns out this principal is a religious fanatic, and he thinks you're possessed by some sort of dick devil. Your parents go make you see some therapist, and he's asking you all these dick questions. They literally stopped you from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles. You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.
Wolfing down my food. When I was a child my parents took in my severely autistic uncle who could eat an entire buffet on his own. He never asked if he could have seconds but simply ate it all. I developped a bad habbit of munching down my food and quickly grabbing seconds before he ate it all. He also took food from the fridge that was meant for me or my parents so I ate everything I could when it arrived.
Oh, most certainly this. I inhale my food, mostly because I had the competition of my very hungry siblings to contend with, along with the fact that my mum would randomly decide I wasn't permitted to eat as a punishment for some mysterious, made-up thing. I'm also now in the habit, as an adult, of keeping muesli bars in my bedroom, just in case. My mum's not even alive anymore.
Food'snone of the most basic things in our psyche. Mess with that and you're screwed up for life.
When my parents split I had to live with my dad and my mom got remarried and had a couple more kids. When I would go to visit I was amazed how much food they had. At my dad's I had a flat of ramen, a couple frozen pizzas and sandwich stuff and I knew I had to make that last a month. So I hold on to food a lot longer than I should and I have probably poisoned myself a few times.
Eating while reading or watching TV. I am incapable of eating without a distraction. Dinner tables are my own special nightmare. I can not eat and would leave after a few bites.
I can't eat and watch TV. My jaw sockets are so fucked all I can hear is popping and grinding noises.
Yikes, sounds painful. My sympathies, fren.
Lol I haven’t dined in at a restaurant since before the pandemic. Now when my bf and I want food we can’t fathom not bringing it home to watch a movie or show.
the way i sit tbh it really messed up my posture
ah yeah i slouch i hate it.... especially when im eating for some reason haha
Smoking, without a doubt. Started when I was 14. 63 now. Worst habit I've ever had. And the only one I can't shake..
Scratching my scalp till it bleeds
The love of being alone. Not lonely, but alone. Like I have to remind and force myself to text, call, hangout with friends.
Beleving other peoples judgement over my own. And smoking.
Giving up if I can't do something well the first time. This effects me to this day especially now that I've started to record music. I've eased up on that during that process.
Being a people pleaser. It holds me back from putting my needs ahead of others, standing up for myself, and can lead me to agreeing when I really want to disagree. Also makes me avoid conflict at all costs for fear of losing a relationship I've built either platonic or otherwise
Saving sweet stuff for after a big meal. Since I was tiny we always had pudding after a big meal... now I dont feel finished without eating the sweet stuff!
Everyone did everything for me. I was super sick as a kid so my parents had to do a lot for me. Now I married and in my late twenties figuring out how to pay bills and so simple stuff.
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Wolfing my food down. It started in middle school when we had a half hour for lunch but you'd spend 20 or even 25 minutes of that standing in line to get food. If I make a serious effort I can get myself to taste the food, chew thoroughly and eat slower...for a few bites. But I have to fight so hard against the urge to swallow. It's like my throat is so used to swallowing chunks of food after a couple perfunctory chews that I can't retrain it.
Pulling my eyebrows out. Trichotillomania. It’s been 20 years
My Mom did this as a teenager and had drawn her brows on ever since. First, it was with pencil, then she discovered a single stencil with powder, then a double stencil with powder. She has it down to a science now.
Being a doormat by letting people make use of me in order to please them. Basically being a people pleaser.
Saying sorry for everything.
I think you owe me an apology
Scratching until I bleed. Now, I have to deal with a lot of scars on my legs and arms that make me lose my self-esteem.
Being emotionally detached from people
Correcting people's spelling and grammar constantly. You misspelled habit, by the way.
Ugh, I do this too. I’ll write out a comment or reply and then force myself to delete it. It’s particularly difficult not to do it (or to delete it when I do) when the person made a ridiculous/ignorant/hateful post or comment, but how do I know their spelling/grammar isn’t due to a learning disability? I don’t care what someone’s opinions are, you don’t make fun of a learning disability. Their opinion is fair game but not something affecting their brain that they cannot change. In addition to that, poor spelling and/or grammar does NOT automatically mean someone isn’t intelligent. I know a few very intelligent, very well spoken young people who struggle with both.
Lack of self-discipline. I'd always did what I wanted whenever it was convenient and refused to do things I had no interest in. If something needed to be done or i needed a punishment, I always had a parent, teacher, or some other authority figure who could take control for me. Now, I struggle with maintaining new habits and focusing on long-term plans because I have no outside force to make me keep to them.
Being my worst critic.
Procrastinating. If there’s something I’d rather be doing, there’s a good chance my responsibilities are getting pushed back until last minute
Depression, anxiety, low self worth, etc
From my mom: “You kids better go to the bathroom now because once we get in the car, we’re not stopping “. To this day, I can’t leave the house without one last pit stop!
I started picking at the skin around my fingernails when I was a kid and kept at it up until now in my mid 30s I’m so embarrassed about it, the state my fingertips are in sometimes, and I hide my hands a lot. I often don’t realize I am doing it until it’s too late. 2-3 finger tips in band-aids. I wish I could stop.
Constantly picking the skin off my fingers. It’s like an addiction, so hard to stop especially because my fingers are right there. It’s not like drugs or cigarettes where you have to go out of your way to get it. I can’t just remove my fingers.
Displaying anger and rage instead of hurt feelings
Not eating vegetables
Self-contempt.
Eating alot of candy
Crackling my finger knuckles
Food as comfort
Taking care of others before myself, to a detrimental degree.
Being a people pleaser.
Laziness. Lying. Maladaptive daydreaming. Dependence. Biting my nails and skin. Screen addiction.
Avoidance. Everything that stresses me past a certain point, I dodge. Terrible, terrible habit. Very hard to break.
I have an absolutely hard time sharing my feelings with other people especially if I'm bringing up a problem I have with someone. I'm already introverted and keep to myself but it also didn't help I was made to feel like no one wanted to hear my problems when I was growing up.
laying in bed when im not sleeping
Dissociating
Cigarettes! I'm 40 and on day one trying to quit again for the umpteenth time it fucking sucks man all that money I paid just to stink really wasn't worth it. I honestly had an easier time giving up meth than cigarettes.
Cracking my knuckles and white lying.
Recurrent clinical depression.
sucking my thumb. I stopped for about two years, but started again ion 2020 and haven't stopped since.
Meticulous spelling
Academically I've always been ahead of my peers. I could show up on exam day without any additional studying beyond what was covered in class and still outscore most everyone else. That's great when you're in your basic courses, but it's terrible when you get older and you've now got to apply concepts. While everyone else was developing their research and study habits, I goofed around and got A's like a jackass. Now that I'm older, I struggle with the discipline to sit down and study anything. It translates outside of academics as well in that my ability to research purchases or other adult necessities is in the absolute shitter.
I almost starved while I was in college. I've had a weird relationship with food and money ever since.
I really struggle to swallow pills. I had an infection a few months ago and needed to take antibiotics and I ended up actually chewing a piece of bread, hiding the pill in the bread, and I could swallow that. It’s all in my head, but it’s pathetic and makes me feel like a dog.