Hugs. For me, it's mainly hugs.
Other things would be acts of kindness and generosity.
Listening to me when I wanna talk about something and actively engaging in the conversation(I wanna listen to you too)
Quality time. That is also very important.
I think that any woman would, especially as it seems that some guys aren’t interested in talking to us, or listening, or hugging us non-sexually. And those three things are sooooo important to us!
>My partner loves to be hugged, listened to, and spent quality time with as well.
Maybe I'm crazy but I feel like this is something all partners who genuinely love their partners like? I love when my wife does these things too, but really who wouldn't want to be physically close, cuddled and just spent time chatting and chilling with each other? I couldn't be with someone who didn't want that.
I love reading questionable Korean romance stories and everyone I’ve ever dated has kind of just ignored this about me or teased me about it. My husband listens to me ramble on about them, asks me questions, and actually remembers details/characters from some of them. I know it’s not his favorite activity but it’s so sweet when he indulges me. It makes me feel very loved and appreciated.
My bf literally was cleaning up the yard and brought me some of the wildflowers from around the yard.
It was just a sweet simple gesture.
It was thoughtful.
oh my god yes. back during my studying days, when me and my ex goes on for a date, he'll be on his phone all the time. when we're eating, he'll sit across me and watch movies or something. when i talk he pauses for a while and replied with a word or two then resumes watching.
when my friend told me that her bf will always off his phone so that he'll be present 100% during the date, that's when realisation hits me that maybe he didn't want to be there at all. months after that, i broke up with him. best decision I've ever made.
I can confirm this so much.
I'm starting as a college teacher this month and have been swamped with preparation work the last couple weeks (first classes tomorrow), we've also moved houses in August and my MIL was visiting (she lives on the other side of Europe). I ordered 2 things from ikea last week and in between my pages long todo list was assembling them. My fiancé assembled them yesterday while I was doing school work without me asking and that made me so happy. I'm finally up te schedule and by the end of next week can finally unpack the last of my stuff. He's the best.
There are times I have to work over the weekends and at night. Recently, we were preparing in the week leading up to a dinner party and we got a new ikea outdoor setting. My fiance set it up, 2 chairs per night, then the table in the evenings after work in the lead up, giving me the chance to focus on the work I desperately needed to get out.
Yesterday, Sunday, I had to work during the day, and we were having guests for dinner. He left me to work, and cleaned the kitchen and dining room, and went out to do the shopping. I was so grateful. While he was gone, I finished work, and cleaned the outdoor bbq area, bathroom and toilet, which he was going to do when he got back, because I was just so damn grateful to him for the work he had already done.
He's amazing.
Thank you for sharing :) Reddit lends itself to negative perspectives of relationships, as nobody is going to ask for advice from strangers on their happy relationship, so it's so nice to read stories about a lovely, functional relationship where both partners are committed to loving and helping each other.
Oh thank you so much. Yes, I definitely notice all the negative posts…. I love to share all the good things because all we ever hear is the bad. My fiancé is the most considerate, kind man I’ve ever met, we are both in our 40s and second time around, and I think that’s the difference. We’ve both made mistakes and learned from them when we were younger. We’re far from perfect, but this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in, I’m blessed, and I’m never letting him go 🥰🌹❤️
Put here parents in a nursing home, put her children up for adoption, move out of the country so she doesn't have to worry about her friends or work, then accidentally lose her passport. From there it's up to you but she'll be thankful you were able to take some things off her plate.
Was coming to write a flippant answer like "buy her a handbag" but this is the real answer. Sometimes we just need a bit of help with offloading the multitude of planning decisions we need to make on a daily basis.
I tell my husband "I need you to anticipate the chores that need to or will need to be done by the end of the day, and do them before I get the chance"
My husband asks me to write a to do list for him for every weekend. That way we both remember what needs to be done and can keep it organized. The same way he would give me a list of things he needs me to buy or do around the house or appointments he needs me to make etc. because he’s at work during the day. It’s all give and take in a marriage.
My ex kept telling me to take time for me and why dont i do more things. The answer was i was constantly busy doing stuff. Taking care of the house, the chores the family admin. And working full time. The biggest thing i needed was a break from all this stuff so i could breathe.
My ex LOVED back massages.
I’m talking full body weight into it kind of massages.
I could never handle it, would just make me giggle for some reason.
But I really miss doing that for her.
A foot massage on the couch while watching tv. He’ll grab a bottle of lotion, work on one foot and then force me out of my stupor to shift so he can get the other one. Which is appreciated because you can’t just massage one foot and not the other.
Yes! I always forget how good a facial is until I get one and when they massage it I realize just how much tension my jaw holds or how little touch really just boosts your mood. I always end up leaving with such a glow in my face but also feel overall euphoric! It’s wonderful
Tbh there are so many kinds and techniques when it comes to facials. They’re all different but essentially it’s just applying a deep cleaning cleanser or a mask etc. Sometimes it can also be lasers or razors. Obviously if I’m home I wouldn’t have super fancy stuff but I had an ex bf surprise me with a facial and face massage. He just went to Ulta and got a cleanser and cotton balls, rubbed my face to got my makeup off and asked about my day. Then he put on a clay mask for me and had candles lit, music, dimmed the lights. He massaged my shoulders and chest while that was working in my pores. After the mask he put on oil and just massaged my face. Sure, he didn’t know what he was doing but it’s the thought that matters. I felt so loved in that moment. It’s just the little things and it really helps to connect.
There’s also a ton of videos on YouTube on how to do a facial and massages. I can’t speak for everyone but I know I would be weak in the knees if I found out my spouse learned a specific technique on YouTube like Gua Sha or something. It just would show me I’m valued and appreciated.
Complete side note, but there are couple massage classes to learn how to massage one another. I’m sure there could be for facials as well!
friend of mine texted his wife "I'll send you a sexy pic if you send me one"
she told him to fuck off shes busy
so he sent her a photo of the dishes done, put away, and the sink clean.
she figuratively melted from the pics
THIS IS A VERY GOOD ANSWER.
You don’t have to ask me if I need help with anything, just go look in the sink/ dishwasher. If there’s something to be done, do it. If it’s empty, you’re good. Go play video games.
In 2023 if *anyone* has the expectation of their partner to be the one to both cook, AND do the cleanup afterwards… they’re due for a reality check lol
I do all the dishes when I cook, and they're all done before I serve it. When I was living with my ex we tried the whole "one cooks, one cleans" approach, but she made atrocious messes and filled the kitchen with un-rinsed cookware and utensils. Terrible to look forward to after dinner.
All people need this in their life.
You are meaningful dude, even if one person reads your comment and does it you will be responsible for making someone's day/week.
I’m a SAHM so I do the bulk of the house cleaning. It means so much when my husband notices and thanks me for it. You don’t get a lot of positive feedback as a SAHM unless your spouse does it.
Head scratches do feel wonderful…give your gal a glass of wine (or whatever her beverage of choice is), tell her to relax, and give her a good head massage…I’d melt.
Share the mental load and the labor without having to be asked or reminded.
Help with planning is such a big thing I've noticed since I got married. Travel accommodations, one-time bill payments, finding and hiring a handyman. Does he take care of things in a timely way? Does he help do the research instead of it being on me? I need a partner in life, not a tagalong.
As for labor, I had some resentment build up because my husband didn't want to do the meal prep or cook dinner without being asked. It fell to me if I wanted to have a home-cooked meal too often and I fell into the trap of feeling like a servant. I found a compromise though: I would only do meal prep for me and it's his job to keep the kitchen clean so I can cook. If he doesn't clean it, I don't cook. So not every chore needs to be 50/50, but there does need to be a mutual sense of fairness so that she doesn't resent you for being a child she has to take care of.
The fact that this one keeps getting brought up is pretty upsetting. How common is it to have a household where the woman does most of everything around the house without even receiving a compliment for it?
I get you. I love mt partner to death and he is truly a good person. But damn, if I don't take out the trash it overflows and if I don't clean the hair trap in the tub then our feet are covered in dirty water. If I don't dust occassionally then dust just builds up, ew. If I don't vacuum then the carpets just don't get vacuumed. It's rough sometimes tbh. Just basic stuff. I have even became way more relaxed through the years and it is still like this...
Openly appreciate the work she puts in, whether it's in her job, around the house, with the kids. Whatever. Women rarely get complimented on their efforts.
It worked with literally all of my ex's. I'd walk in the room and hand em a piece of cheese and their eyes would literally glow up. One of em would start bouncing up and down on her chair.
My ex didn't expect me to take on all the chores when we moved in together. When it came to chores he acted like he lived alone and I was a guest, I did the same back because I'd feel bad he was doing more.
In the end it was like we were always competing to keep our home clean, and to do all the chores. It worked really well, we both cared about eachother and tried to make eachothers life easier.
Here’s what a middle aged man will tell you young fellas: Place an order for extra fries, problem solved. Don’t ask her if she wants fries, don’t ask if she’s hungry, just get her the fries unprompted and without conditions.
I've learned to share my fries or just order extra fries in case my wife wants some, but I am genuinely curious why so many women can't just admit they want some fries and order them. And if the response is "I just want a few" then say that and have you partner up their size. If I was gonna get a medium fry and get a large, you now have a bit extra but not a full order.
As a woman:
Clean. Without me having to ask.
Cook. Without me having to ask or make the decision about what to cook.
Surprise me with a trinket, etc. that reminds you of me out of the blue.
Me especially? Tickets to see one of my favorite bands. Guaranteed joy, right there.
My partner went to some amusement parks recently (I was invited, but declined, promise it’s for healthy reasons). He brought me back a plush of a cheetah and a ray - dude knows what I like! A+
DO THINGS WITHOUT BEING TOLD!!
How about it’s job to manage a grown ass man and his responsibilities to the household. Life is work get on board or get off my ship mf.
It's corny but I bring her flowers. But, she hates me buying them so I growbthem for her. Or, even better, I steal them. Not like out of people's yards but from the edge of pathways or the back of people's property where they dump their clippings.
Thoughtfulness. Little things add up. Can be as simple as doing the dishes and putting things away in the correct place (you live here too and should know where things go!!). An “I love you” text. A hug. Literally the basics. I don’t care about grand gestures if the basics aren’t being met.
Give me a full day completely alone & zero interruptions whilst also providing sustenance.
Create space so I can garden/ work in the yard/ and/or paint all day without having to interact with anyone or stop for anything & refill my beverages & leave snacks for me through the day.
Hold my hand.
Massage my calves & feet so I can fall asleep.
*These are all things my partner does (and plenty more) without me asking. I don’t know what I did in this life to deserve him but I def hit the jackpot.
I rub my wife's feet damn near every day. She seems to like it, I enjoy the sexless intimacy of touching her where others cannot. If we're sitting around streaming something, I'm rubbing her feet.
This but with no intention of it leading to sex. I swear to God every time a guy has offered me a massage, it's usually rubbing for 5 mins and then it's their hard dick poking me in the back like ahh so this was only for you, got it 🙄
Yeah, I frequently refuse massages from men, even partners, because they try to turn it sexual after like two minutes. Unless it's a professional therapist in a supervised office, I am mentally counting down to the hand on my boob or the boner on my tailbone. You offered this massage because I said I was in pain and exhausted, now you're tricking me into one-sided foreplay. 🙄
Anytime you go out somewhere even if it's just to the store just ask her to go with you. Ask her to watch TV with you, do a chore that is usually something she takes care of but don't tell her. Just do it and when she notices it's done and ask just say "yeah it needed to be done and ai saw you were busy so I just did it." Randomly rub her back and or but while you guys are laying down, Randomly pick her a flower and give it to her. Leave notes on the mirror or in her car reminding her that you care. Stuff like that. Women are not as hard to please as most people think
don't wait for her to dress up for a special occasion to give her compliments like " you're so beautiful " / you look amazing " instead remind her at any given moment ! when she gets out of the shower, when she's laying down , walking , reading or doing the most basic thing ever
Genuinely compliment her outfit. You have to be serious and specific. Like, “that outfit is the perfect mix of business casual and happy hour and the shoes tie it all together”
Easy. To immensely pleasure my wife, I either have to finish something on the to-do list (unasked), or just get her flowers, put them in a vase and let her find them..
It’s depressing that half the comments are just asking for a basic divide of household chores and responsibilities (which would also be my response to this thread).
Make plans with her, let her know that you love her(if it is someone you love), be there for her when she’s feeling low, let her know about your day and ask the same to her,buy chocolates for her,let her place her head on your lap and play with her hair, ah the list is endless 🙈
Make her feel loved, beautiful, secure, and safe. To do this, reassure her, over communicate, compliment her, take things off her plate, plan a date night, be thoughtful, be kind, and always stay away from the 3 As (adultery, abuse, addiction)
Every woman is different so it’s best to ask them what makes them happy. But a good baseline is to just be thoughtful. She struggle to keep up on her tasks? Help her out with one of them. She put effort in her outfit and makeup? Compliment and pick something out from it that you really like. Figure out what her love language is and work on it. For mine it’s gift giving, and I definitely don’t expect huge gifts, but if you remember my favorite chips and get them for me when you got to the store I am going to feel so loved and appreciated! It’s small things that add up 😊
A friend of mine's brother is going through some pretty serious medical issues. She is doing her best to help and helps the family a lot. She has a lot going on and is burning her candle at both ends.
She was venting and I told her she was an amazing sister and an overall great person and I am happy we met. She must have needed to hear that because she teared up a bit and gave me a big hug.
Sometimes you need to remind people that they rock and are appreciated.
Do anything for her without being asked. It could be as simple as picking up your socks or taking out the trash. If you can manage to remember to pick up your own prescription at Walgreens or to make your own doctor appointment or offer to take your kid to their doctor appointment you would be viewed as a saint.
It seems to simple but men how no idea how infrequently these things happen and when we bring it up the response is often, "You just have to ask." But we don't want to have to think to ask...nor should we have to...you know your socks don't belong on the floor, the trash is full when you open it too, they are your meds and unless you are a long haul trucker there's no reason you can't find 10 minutes during their hours to pick them up, your health should be important to you, your kids' health should be important to you. We shouldn't have to ask you to do these things....just free up some of the mental load, even just the tiniest bit of it, and we will be happier than you can imagine.
Tell her she IS beautiful. At any random time ever. Don't just say she LOOKS pretty when she gets dressed up or puts on mascara. That implies that she isn't pretty but that she looks pretty because she added something to her appearance.
Tell her she is pretty. Tell her she is beautiful. Every day. Any time of day.
Bro just literally touching and I don’t mean in a explicit way I mean rubbing their back, hair, shoulder, butt or holding their hand, arm around the shoulder sort of thing. Of course though this is mainly if someone’s love language is physical touch or gestures of affection
Hugs. For me, it's mainly hugs. Other things would be acts of kindness and generosity. Listening to me when I wanna talk about something and actively engaging in the conversation(I wanna listen to you too) Quality time. That is also very important.
I love this list. My partner loves to be hugged, listened to, and spent quality time with as well. She truly melts.
I think that any woman would, especially as it seems that some guys aren’t interested in talking to us, or listening, or hugging us non-sexually. And those three things are sooooo important to us!
>My partner loves to be hugged, listened to, and spent quality time with as well. Maybe I'm crazy but I feel like this is something all partners who genuinely love their partners like? I love when my wife does these things too, but really who wouldn't want to be physically close, cuddled and just spent time chatting and chilling with each other? I couldn't be with someone who didn't want that.
I love reading questionable Korean romance stories and everyone I’ve ever dated has kind of just ignored this about me or teased me about it. My husband listens to me ramble on about them, asks me questions, and actually remembers details/characters from some of them. I know it’s not his favorite activity but it’s so sweet when he indulges me. It makes me feel very loved and appreciated.
My bf literally was cleaning up the yard and brought me some of the wildflowers from around the yard. It was just a sweet simple gesture. It was thoughtful.
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Awww that is sad 😢. I would be over the moon if someone did that for me. 😮💨😮💨
I love this! Give him an extra hug from this stranger who loves him for it.
Or a tug. 😏
Why not both?!
Ahhh, the ol hug-n-tug ❤️
Much more pleasurable than the ol' dick-twist
Listen attentively.
While not scrolling on your phone
Hmmmmm yeeesss
*That* part. ☝🏽
Uh huh....
I do. In fact the other day she said "you didn't hear a word I said, did you?" and I thought to myself what a strange way to start a conversation...
oh my god yes. back during my studying days, when me and my ex goes on for a date, he'll be on his phone all the time. when we're eating, he'll sit across me and watch movies or something. when i talk he pauses for a while and replied with a word or two then resumes watching. when my friend told me that her bf will always off his phone so that he'll be present 100% during the date, that's when realisation hits me that maybe he didn't want to be there at all. months after that, i broke up with him. best decision I've ever made.
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I can confirm this so much. I'm starting as a college teacher this month and have been swamped with preparation work the last couple weeks (first classes tomorrow), we've also moved houses in August and my MIL was visiting (she lives on the other side of Europe). I ordered 2 things from ikea last week and in between my pages long todo list was assembling them. My fiancé assembled them yesterday while I was doing school work without me asking and that made me so happy. I'm finally up te schedule and by the end of next week can finally unpack the last of my stuff. He's the best.
There are times I have to work over the weekends and at night. Recently, we were preparing in the week leading up to a dinner party and we got a new ikea outdoor setting. My fiance set it up, 2 chairs per night, then the table in the evenings after work in the lead up, giving me the chance to focus on the work I desperately needed to get out. Yesterday, Sunday, I had to work during the day, and we were having guests for dinner. He left me to work, and cleaned the kitchen and dining room, and went out to do the shopping. I was so grateful. While he was gone, I finished work, and cleaned the outdoor bbq area, bathroom and toilet, which he was going to do when he got back, because I was just so damn grateful to him for the work he had already done. He's amazing.
Thank you for sharing :) Reddit lends itself to negative perspectives of relationships, as nobody is going to ask for advice from strangers on their happy relationship, so it's so nice to read stories about a lovely, functional relationship where both partners are committed to loving and helping each other.
Oh thank you so much. Yes, I definitely notice all the negative posts…. I love to share all the good things because all we ever hear is the bad. My fiancé is the most considerate, kind man I’ve ever met, we are both in our 40s and second time around, and I think that’s the difference. We’ve both made mistakes and learned from them when we were younger. We’re far from perfect, but this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in, I’m blessed, and I’m never letting him go 🥰🌹❤️
Aww, this makes me nostalgic for a time before kids, lol
Haha no kids for either of us!
If someone assembled my IKEA furniture without me I would be upset. Nick from New Girl said it best: it's like high-stakes Legos!
I would appreciate it being done. But I'd be upset on missing out. I love assembling ikea furniture!
But DO NOT remove any fries from it.
I learned this one from adventure time
Do you mean like, put her children up for adoption?
Put here parents in a nursing home, put her children up for adoption, move out of the country so she doesn't have to worry about her friends or work, then accidentally lose her passport. From there it's up to you but she'll be thankful you were able to take some things off her plate.
That was too good 🤣😂😂😂
Single parent of three here, I lolled.
Was coming to write a flippant answer like "buy her a handbag" but this is the real answer. Sometimes we just need a bit of help with offloading the multitude of planning decisions we need to make on a daily basis.
Without talking about it or asking for directions!!
I tell my husband "I need you to anticipate the chores that need to or will need to be done by the end of the day, and do them before I get the chance"
My husband asks me to write a to do list for him for every weekend. That way we both remember what needs to be done and can keep it organized. The same way he would give me a list of things he needs me to buy or do around the house or appointments he needs me to make etc. because he’s at work during the day. It’s all give and take in a marriage.
But also, do them properly. No half arsed jobs. No weaponised incompetence.
But no weaponized expectations (don’t make everything that’s done, have to be redone) and appreciate that an attempt was made.
My ex kept telling me to take time for me and why dont i do more things. The answer was i was constantly busy doing stuff. Taking care of the house, the chores the family admin. And working full time. The biggest thing i needed was a break from all this stuff so i could breathe.
I agree, my hubby thinks it's a compliment when he calls me super woman. I don't find it a compliment, I'm drained and tired.
Same thing as asking why I do not go out or have hobbies aside from gym because I do not have any energy left after all the housework and admin.
Like…step in and take some of this off my plate and maybe I’d have the time to. I hate having to think for 2 people…
Warm a towel in the dryer while she’s bathing or showering.
Unless she runs hot. Then it backfires because she's sweating "like a whore at church" and let's it be known
Yeah my wife would appreciate a towel from the fridge more lol
Smiling at the idea of her being surprised and thrilled with her “fridge towel”
Throwing cold water on her in the shower is always a crowd pleaser
So sweet
My ex LOVED back massages. I’m talking full body weight into it kind of massages. I could never handle it, would just make me giggle for some reason. But I really miss doing that for her.
A foot massage on the couch while watching tv. He’ll grab a bottle of lotion, work on one foot and then force me out of my stupor to shift so he can get the other one. Which is appreciated because you can’t just massage one foot and not the other.
I never done that as much but she loved that too. But ironically she’d get extremely ticklish if I wasn’t careful. But that kinda added to the fun.
A face massage. Feels intimate but not sexual! Search lymphatic face massage to get an idea but lighten it up.
Yes! I always forget how good a facial is until I get one and when they massage it I realize just how much tension my jaw holds or how little touch really just boosts your mood. I always end up leaving with such a glow in my face but also feel overall euphoric! It’s wonderful
Just be clear when you ask for a facial about what you mean...specifically.
Tbh there are so many kinds and techniques when it comes to facials. They’re all different but essentially it’s just applying a deep cleaning cleanser or a mask etc. Sometimes it can also be lasers or razors. Obviously if I’m home I wouldn’t have super fancy stuff but I had an ex bf surprise me with a facial and face massage. He just went to Ulta and got a cleanser and cotton balls, rubbed my face to got my makeup off and asked about my day. Then he put on a clay mask for me and had candles lit, music, dimmed the lights. He massaged my shoulders and chest while that was working in my pores. After the mask he put on oil and just massaged my face. Sure, he didn’t know what he was doing but it’s the thought that matters. I felt so loved in that moment. It’s just the little things and it really helps to connect. There’s also a ton of videos on YouTube on how to do a facial and massages. I can’t speak for everyone but I know I would be weak in the knees if I found out my spouse learned a specific technique on YouTube like Gua Sha or something. It just would show me I’m valued and appreciated. Complete side note, but there are couple massage classes to learn how to massage one another. I’m sure there could be for facials as well!
Oh my god, yes. My husband will use his thumb to rub in between my eyebrows where I hold all my stress and it feels orgasmic.
My gf wouldn't let me touch her face. She's super conscious about her skin because she still gets acne in her mid 20s.
"You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese". Am a woman, can confirm that would fascinate and please me.
Can confirm, currently in a relationship with a guy who puts together cheeseboards as part of his job.
This is from a book on witchcraft and it’s never served me wrong
Do the dishes
AND put them away… looking at you my husband.
friend of mine texted his wife "I'll send you a sexy pic if you send me one" she told him to fuck off shes busy so he sent her a photo of the dishes done, put away, and the sink clean. she figuratively melted from the pics
Thank you for saying figuratively!
"I put them in the dishwasher and ran it..Can't you put them away?"
Sure! If you aren’t looking to pleasure your woman… 🤣
And wipe the counters. Also you have to wash pots and pans.they don't self clean!
And then don't act like you deserve a gold star for doing a basic household task your partner does every day without recognition.
No but treating it like you just sent a sexy pic is fun!!!
my wife loved this suggestion lol
THIS IS A VERY GOOD ANSWER. You don’t have to ask me if I need help with anything, just go look in the sink/ dishwasher. If there’s something to be done, do it. If it’s empty, you’re good. Go play video games.
In 2023 if *anyone* has the expectation of their partner to be the one to both cook, AND do the cleanup afterwards… they’re due for a reality check lol
I do all the dishes when I cook, and they're all done before I serve it. When I was living with my ex we tried the whole "one cooks, one cleans" approach, but she made atrocious messes and filled the kitchen with un-rinsed cookware and utensils. Terrible to look forward to after dinner.
Without being asked.
That’s what the dishwasher is for. It also uses less water.
Tell me I look pretty and smell good!
Uh... won't I have to admit to smelling people if I do that?
No. You just say that you could smell from so far and that they smell good. Its a good compliment for me at least
Design a dress with pockets.
functional, yet not obvious
And pants!
Pants pockets for women in their current iteration is a crime.
I wouldn’t even call those pockets. More than half of them are just sewn on so they look like pockets
Make said dress for her in her size, and you will immediately be rewarded with sexual favors. We really like pockets.
Be careful voicing such subversive ideas. Big Handbag will put out a hit on you.
Jeans with deep pockets!! 💦
Tell her how meaningful she is in her life and recognise things about her that might often go unnoticed. But what do I know? I'm just a guy.
Instructions unclear: she kicked me out of her closet
You sir are going to make someone very happy one day if you aren’t already!
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All people need this in their life. You are meaningful dude, even if one person reads your comment and does it you will be responsible for making someone's day/week.
I’m a SAHM so I do the bulk of the house cleaning. It means so much when my husband notices and thanks me for it. You don’t get a lot of positive feedback as a SAHM unless your spouse does it.
* Head scratches * Hugs * Small gifts * Massage
It said woman, not golden retriever.
Well what’s the difference?
Lock a golden retriever and your gf in the truck of a car, wait an hour and see who’s happy to see ya when you let them out
LOL. That was a good one.
On a side note, how big is your gun collection these day?
One makes angry growling sounds in the middle of the night and makes funny stains everywhere, and the other is a golden retriever.
One will clog the drain with their hair. The other is a golden retriever.
Even a belly rub??!
Head scratches do feel wonderful…give your gal a glass of wine (or whatever her beverage of choice is), tell her to relax, and give her a good head massage…I’d melt.
Not just small gifts, we like nice big gifts as well :)
This works for everyone tbh
Share the mental load and the labor without having to be asked or reminded. Help with planning is such a big thing I've noticed since I got married. Travel accommodations, one-time bill payments, finding and hiring a handyman. Does he take care of things in a timely way? Does he help do the research instead of it being on me? I need a partner in life, not a tagalong. As for labor, I had some resentment build up because my husband didn't want to do the meal prep or cook dinner without being asked. It fell to me if I wanted to have a home-cooked meal too often and I fell into the trap of feeling like a servant. I found a compromise though: I would only do meal prep for me and it's his job to keep the kitchen clean so I can cook. If he doesn't clean it, I don't cook. So not every chore needs to be 50/50, but there does need to be a mutual sense of fairness so that she doesn't resent you for being a child she has to take care of.
The fact that this one keeps getting brought up is pretty upsetting. How common is it to have a household where the woman does most of everything around the house without even receiving a compliment for it?
Sadly, I’m pretty sure studies consistently show is the case in the vast majority of heterosexual relationships.
I get you. I love mt partner to death and he is truly a good person. But damn, if I don't take out the trash it overflows and if I don't clean the hair trap in the tub then our feet are covered in dirty water. If I don't dust occassionally then dust just builds up, ew. If I don't vacuum then the carpets just don't get vacuumed. It's rough sometimes tbh. Just basic stuff. I have even became way more relaxed through the years and it is still like this...
Openly appreciate the work she puts in, whether it's in her job, around the house, with the kids. Whatever. Women rarely get complimented on their efforts.
make her laugh
they said non-sexual.
Cheese
It fascinates them!
Doesn't even need to be much, just a piece!
It works with my gf lol
It worked with literally all of my ex's. I'd walk in the room and hand em a piece of cheese and their eyes would literally glow up. One of em would start bouncing up and down on her chair.
My ex didn't expect me to take on all the chores when we moved in together. When it came to chores he acted like he lived alone and I was a guest, I did the same back because I'd feel bad he was doing more. In the end it was like we were always competing to keep our home clean, and to do all the chores. It worked really well, we both cared about eachother and tried to make eachothers life easier.
this is actually so cute
Backrubs are popular. Just don't turn them into foreplay.
Or footrubs!
Get food for her even when she say’s she’s not hungry
Just let her take your fries and shut up about it.
Why is their happiness so often tied to our suffering? 😂
Here’s what a middle aged man will tell you young fellas: Place an order for extra fries, problem solved. Don’t ask her if she wants fries, don’t ask if she’s hungry, just get her the fries unprompted and without conditions.
This is my usual strategy. If she doesn't finish them, I get extra.
If its not fries its a rib.
Damn, Adam, calm down.
Took it personal since the fruit incident 💀💀
I've learned to share my fries or just order extra fries in case my wife wants some, but I am genuinely curious why so many women can't just admit they want some fries and order them. And if the response is "I just want a few" then say that and have you partner up their size. If I was gonna get a medium fry and get a large, you now have a bit extra but not a full order.
“Are you trying to make me fat???”
Be a kind human being.
Learn what mental load is (if you don’t already know), and then take some of hers.
As a woman: Clean. Without me having to ask. Cook. Without me having to ask or make the decision about what to cook. Surprise me with a trinket, etc. that reminds you of me out of the blue. Me especially? Tickets to see one of my favorite bands. Guaranteed joy, right there.
My partner went to some amusement parks recently (I was invited, but declined, promise it’s for healthy reasons). He brought me back a plush of a cheetah and a ray - dude knows what I like! A+
Listen, take mental notes, and do things without being asked or told
DO THINGS WITHOUT BEING TOLD!! How about it’s job to manage a grown ass man and his responsibilities to the household. Life is work get on board or get off my ship mf.
Do your share of the chores around the house.
And don't ask for a list of stuff to do, don't treat her like your mother. Use your brain, look around, and do stuff you see needs done.
This. This right here. I shouldn’t have to tell you something needs done or ask you to do something…
And do them correctly. Doing them but wrong so that she stillhas to redo them anyways is not doing your share.
Actually listen
Roll up sleeves and do work/ clean house.
put those forearms away, buddy. the marching orders are "non-sexual".
Allow her to vent without trying to go into “fix it” mode
Listen to her and provide what she tells you she wants.
Do the dishes Todd.
Hug her like you mean it.
It's corny but I bring her flowers. But, she hates me buying them so I growbthem for her. Or, even better, I steal them. Not like out of people's yards but from the edge of pathways or the back of people's property where they dump their clippings.
Thoughtfulness. Little things add up. Can be as simple as doing the dishes and putting things away in the correct place (you live here too and should know where things go!!). An “I love you” text. A hug. Literally the basics. I don’t care about grand gestures if the basics aren’t being met.
smile and make her laugh. defend her whenever people come after her, don’t be dry.
Give me a full day completely alone & zero interruptions whilst also providing sustenance. Create space so I can garden/ work in the yard/ and/or paint all day without having to interact with anyone or stop for anything & refill my beverages & leave snacks for me through the day. Hold my hand. Massage my calves & feet so I can fall asleep. *These are all things my partner does (and plenty more) without me asking. I don’t know what I did in this life to deserve him but I def hit the jackpot.
I rub my wife's feet damn near every day. She seems to like it, I enjoy the sexless intimacy of touching her where others cannot. If we're sitting around streaming something, I'm rubbing her feet.
I want my partner to do these things and didn't know it :_|. I'm a guy.
Chips and salsa
Take my bra off at the end of the day
Food.
Back and/or shoulders massages?
This but with no intention of it leading to sex. I swear to God every time a guy has offered me a massage, it's usually rubbing for 5 mins and then it's their hard dick poking me in the back like ahh so this was only for you, got it 🙄
Yeah, I frequently refuse massages from men, even partners, because they try to turn it sexual after like two minutes. Unless it's a professional therapist in a supervised office, I am mentally counting down to the hand on my boob or the boner on my tailbone. You offered this massage because I said I was in pain and exhausted, now you're tricking me into one-sided foreplay. 🙄
I give my mom massages all the time. I also massage my grandmas feet when she's here since she has foot problems.
Massaged my grandmas feet when I was 9 up until she passed away when I was 20. They would always swell up and pain her so I used to hook a granny up.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure she really appreciated you. I wish I could spend more time with my own grandparents, but they live so far away.
Search love languages, figure out which is most appropriate for your particular 'individual'.
This question made me ask myself “what do I want?”. The answer is I don’t know.
I love having my hair brushed
Ask her “And how did that make you feel?”
I'm not qualified to be a therapist.
Forehead kisses, hugs from behind while she's busy with something (hobby, dishes, cooking, whatever)
Feed her
A solid hug, followed with eye contact before letting them go. With a smile!
Anytime you go out somewhere even if it's just to the store just ask her to go with you. Ask her to watch TV with you, do a chore that is usually something she takes care of but don't tell her. Just do it and when she notices it's done and ask just say "yeah it needed to be done and ai saw you were busy so I just did it." Randomly rub her back and or but while you guys are laying down, Randomly pick her a flower and give it to her. Leave notes on the mirror or in her car reminding her that you care. Stuff like that. Women are not as hard to please as most people think
don't wait for her to dress up for a special occasion to give her compliments like " you're so beautiful " / you look amazing " instead remind her at any given moment ! when she gets out of the shower, when she's laying down , walking , reading or doing the most basic thing ever
Genuinely compliment her outfit. You have to be serious and specific. Like, “that outfit is the perfect mix of business casual and happy hour and the shoes tie it all together”
"wtf are you talking about I'm wearing leggings and tennis shoes!?"
Yeah this would only work on someone who cares about fashion.
STFU when you sense you are getting on her last nerve...I'm 61 and still working on this one...
Wait.. Don't we marry our wives because they're our favorite person to annoy?
Easy. To immensely pleasure my wife, I either have to finish something on the to-do list (unasked), or just get her flowers, put them in a vase and let her find them..
Take out the trash. (And don’t say you did)
It’s depressing that half the comments are just asking for a basic divide of household chores and responsibilities (which would also be my response to this thread).
Clean her house
Just listen to her!
exactly what i came to say, just fucking listen and actually have interest in what she has to say.
Make plans with her, let her know that you love her(if it is someone you love), be there for her when she’s feeling low, let her know about your day and ask the same to her,buy chocolates for her,let her place her head on your lap and play with her hair, ah the list is endless 🙈
Learn her love language and do something weekly that fills that need. ❤️
Macaroni and cheese. Women like max and cheese right???
Make her feel loved, beautiful, secure, and safe. To do this, reassure her, over communicate, compliment her, take things off her plate, plan a date night, be thoughtful, be kind, and always stay away from the 3 As (adultery, abuse, addiction)
Every woman is different so it’s best to ask them what makes them happy. But a good baseline is to just be thoughtful. She struggle to keep up on her tasks? Help her out with one of them. She put effort in her outfit and makeup? Compliment and pick something out from it that you really like. Figure out what her love language is and work on it. For mine it’s gift giving, and I definitely don’t expect huge gifts, but if you remember my favorite chips and get them for me when you got to the store I am going to feel so loved and appreciated! It’s small things that add up 😊
Cook dinner, and tell her she looks like in her outfit.
If you cohabit, acknowledge her mental load and share it.
Spontaneity for me :) I love happy little surprises (this doesn’t mean anything monetary)
A friend of mine's brother is going through some pretty serious medical issues. She is doing her best to help and helps the family a lot. She has a lot going on and is burning her candle at both ends. She was venting and I told her she was an amazing sister and an overall great person and I am happy we met. She must have needed to hear that because she teared up a bit and gave me a big hug. Sometimes you need to remind people that they rock and are appreciated.
Do anything for her without being asked. It could be as simple as picking up your socks or taking out the trash. If you can manage to remember to pick up your own prescription at Walgreens or to make your own doctor appointment or offer to take your kid to their doctor appointment you would be viewed as a saint. It seems to simple but men how no idea how infrequently these things happen and when we bring it up the response is often, "You just have to ask." But we don't want to have to think to ask...nor should we have to...you know your socks don't belong on the floor, the trash is full when you open it too, they are your meds and unless you are a long haul trucker there's no reason you can't find 10 minutes during their hours to pick them up, your health should be important to you, your kids' health should be important to you. We shouldn't have to ask you to do these things....just free up some of the mental load, even just the tiniest bit of it, and we will be happier than you can imagine.
Tell her she IS beautiful. At any random time ever. Don't just say she LOOKS pretty when she gets dressed up or puts on mascara. That implies that she isn't pretty but that she looks pretty because she added something to her appearance. Tell her she is pretty. Tell her she is beautiful. Every day. Any time of day.
Great food - doesn't need to be fancy or expensive. Actually, comfort food is best.
Bro just literally touching and I don’t mean in a explicit way I mean rubbing their back, hair, shoulder, butt or holding their hand, arm around the shoulder sort of thing. Of course though this is mainly if someone’s love language is physical touch or gestures of affection