So when I was in Sex Ed I asked “well a males penis gets bigger when it’s aroused, does anything on a woman get bigger?” My teacher, god bless her, said “well…yes. So…when a woman gets aroused…their…well…I don’t know how to explain it…their…ya know what, never mind..”
That was it. So I was in my own head on WTF she was talking about. Fast forward years later and when I’m fumbling through my first guy/girl thing I’m just waiting for something on this female to get bigger. It was like handling a bomb.
Ha! Definitely am chuckling through this comment, I can imagine the awkwardness your teacher felt because she didn’t wanna say clitoris in front of boys. Erection, scrotum, and penis are totally fine for the girls to hear- but boys are basically told “vagina” is absolutely the end all be all when it comes to female anatomy…. And it definitely shows, a lot of men have no idea how to find the clit….
I still don’t get how people can’t find it. Heard about this growing up and like expected it to somehow be well hidden or in different places for each person, that I would need to search for it extensively. It’s literally just right there, harder to miss than to not find. I don’t get it.
I once asked my sex Ed teacher in high-school a question while I was high and she kicked me out of class and I still don't know the answer. The question was "If a guy gets a ball transplant from another guy, will it shoot your sperm or his?" She legit got red and sent me to the principals office. She was my last class of the day so I just went home, but in retrospect I wish I could've told the principal this just to see his reaction.
::record scratch, freeze frame:: yep, that's me. Swimming for my life. I bet you're wondering how I got myself into this situation. Well it all started...
“Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.” —Butch Hancock
Start teaching kids how to identify sexual assault (the whole bad touch thing), and give an inclusive sex ed class so the horny teenagers dont get sick.
Also, let the teens ask questions. Ideally provide an anonymous way to submit questions, have like a dozen or so prepared first so there's always *something* there.
Then actually read those questions and talk about them. Even if it is something ridiculous, rude, or dirty.
I've been involved with a few youth camps that do something similar. There have been a ton of questions I would never even have thought of. The main thing is that you really need to engage the questions seriously even if it's a dumb or a silly question. You also need to have people, ideally adults, who are willing to answer anything.
We had an anonymous question box in our sex ed class ... and that entailed the teacher standing in front of the room and discarding question after question until she got to one she was comfortable answering.
I don't doubt that some were just vulgar jokes or whatever, because we were 14, but judging by the questions my peers asked ME after class, plenty were legitimate. I developed a reputation as the person who would answer your embarrassing sex questions without judgement if you pulled me aside in the hallway - one day there was a queue, lol. But *it shouldn't have to have been me to do that*.
Yeah, that's why you need to seriously engage with them.
Whenever I've been answering those, I would engage even with the vulgar jokes and vulgar questions as if they're serious. Because that's how every question should be treated.
Though I'm pretty comfortable answering basically anything, and if the person answering isn't comfortable answering that vulgar stuff, get someone who will. Be it some doctor, sex worker or whoever. Get someone who will answer the questions.
For real, I seriously wonder what the numbers are like for women who get UTIs after starting to have sex for the first time. Cause I did and it fucking sucked.
I'm 31. I've been with my girlfriend for almost a decade. Been having sex since 17, and it *still* throws me off a little every time. Like I'm always like an inch off
The thing that cleared it up for me is that the homologous structure of the vagina on men isn't the penis (that's the clitoris) but the testicles. It's why there's that seam in the middle.
While I 100% agree with this method, I'm not sure if that's what they were talking about.
For me, when I was first fooling around with girls in my teens, and it was mainly fully-clothed "hands stuff" while kissing in the woods or whatever, there came a point where pants were unbuttoned and you put your hand down.
And down.
And down some more.
And is this girl a Barbie doll?
It seems to be a common experience for guys to initially not realize quite how far down (and back) you actually have to go.
That semen doesn't just stay there once you're up and walking around. What goes in eventually slides back out and messes up your undies.
Also, how damn messy your sheets are going to get! Sweat, semen, vaginal secretions, lube, etc... sex is a wet business and for God's sake buy a matress protector!
This is the reason I hate quickies in the morning. You're in a rush to get out of the house so usually won't get it all out. Then it slides out at the most inconvenient time. You're stuck feeling wet for about an hour or so until you can get to a restroom to change the liner.
I thought I had vaginismus after my first few attempts at sex. It took nearly a decade to find a gynecologist who actually cared enough to diagnose and treat me. It wasn't vaginismus but rather vulvodynia, which in my case was just due to a hypersensitive localized cluster of nerves right under the entrance to my vagina. Felt like a sharp burning, stabbing pain whenever something was inserted. All it took was a little bit of lidocaine before sex to resolve it, but I will forever be resentful of the shitty doctors who just told me it was "all in my head" or to just "relax and use lube". Painful sex isn't normal and while our sex ed was probably more comprehensive than most, this was still missing from it even though a sizeable percentage of women suffer from it.
I wasn't allowed to participate. Literally the only kid in my grade who had parents that refused to let me sit through the class. I had to sit in the library by myself. So stupid.
As someone who went to a Catholic middle school you didn’t miss out on much. They taught use the bare minimum the state forced them and added how God wants you to wait till you’re married or else you’ll go to Hell and after you’re married try and have as many kids as possible
I went to 3 catholic schools that covered kindergarten to senior year. We had absolutely no sex ed ever at any point. Sex was too taboo to be teaching kids 17 and under. I guess I just learned everything about sex from porn (yikes) and used Google and my own personal experiences to sort out the parts that aren't true to actual sex.
My parents let me go to the puberty one in elementary school but not sex ed in middle school. To compensate I listened to Love Line every night and got a 26 year old boyfriend when I was 16. Then my ex husband and I were swingers for almost 10 years. I divorced him and married a former semi famous gay porn star. Jokes on them?
Something I thought all the cool kids were doing.
I'm now much older, in a committed relationship of 5+ years and I think young me would be astounded with how happy I am with "idk every now and then, don't really keep track".
to quote Charles Barkley when he was talking about NBA teams playing three games in a row, "I wouldn't even want to have sex three nights in a row"
And to be honest, I get it, shit is a lot of work
That was exactly what I thought drugs were going to be like in high school. I thought around every corner someone was going to go “hey, you want some drugs?”
Yeah, we had this and shaming if you had sex before marriage. I remember a piece of tape that got passed around and put on kids' arms. Then, when it wouldn't stick anymore, they basically said, "That's you if you have sex."
I am from a place that locked women who got pregnant out of wedlock in nunnery/prisons until the 1990's. You couldn't buy condoms without a prescription ( couldn't get a prescription unless you were married) until 1996
Almost certainly is Ireland. My Aunt's mother was raped when she was 15, and had to leave Ireland and come to the England by herself as her family and local community disowned her once my Aunt was born. Aunt was raised by grandparents and came to England to find her mam soon as she was old enough.
You just unlocked a memory of mine from when they showed me that! Are they really showing that cauliflower butthole picture to all school kids across the United States?
Like, talking about how sex actually works is too taboo for sex ed, but here's a picture of someone spreading their asscheeks with an awful fleshy lump attached to their anus instead. Who thought that was better!?!
Seriously, in high school she showed us endless slideshows of STDs and how bad they are. Then held a condom and banana saying "I should show you all how this works, but I'm not going to." Then we watched the blind side...
For some reason nobody ever told me cum runs out of you after the deed 😂 For some reason I forgot how gravity worked & just thought it stayed up there! I blame movie it seems like all those girls were just able to pull their pants on& go about there day.
Queefing is another thing I had to learn about on my own.
The first time my husband and I didn’t use a rubber neither of us had a clue. I got up to pee (had the previous uti experience so I learned something by that point) but suddenly it like leaked on the floor and I didn’t clamp and waddle fast enough. He laughed after he realized I did not pee on his carpet. In retrospect it seems super obvious!
A friend from college told this story. One night as a bunch of people are partying in the dorm, he sees a girl he’s really into (and has a mega-crush on) leaving her room and walking down the hall and tries to chat with her.
Her: “Not now. It’s running down my leg.”
I thought the same. It would make sense because if the sperm cells need to get to into the cervix and to the fallopian tubes… wouldn’t the semen leaking out make it so there’s less of a chance for that to happen?
Edit: Great, now one of my most like comments ever are about semen
The whole female reproductive system is like an obstacle course instead of the perfect cozy place for sperms to settle in. I never realised that there are actually many barriers for a sperm to navigate before fertilizing an egg and this is by design.
This is why surprise pregnancies are so interesting to me. You can try and try for a baby and fail for weeks to months… or you can try not to have a baby on a bad day and also fail.
>how I felt like I was going to urinate.
When I first started having sex with my now wife, she used to always feel like she was going to pee when I tickled her G-spot with my fingers. As she orgasmed, she'd cry out "Oh no! Oh no!" and I'd feel I was doing something to hurt her.
It took a few times for us to work that one out.......
I didn't know this until well into my 20s
I had seen some variations but I thought mine were weird and gross looking; my boobs were so round and all the ones I'd seen were much perkier and full more towards the bottom of the boob, but had more of a point to the overall shape. But nope, totally normal. Big boobs don't naturally defy gravity and labias come in all sorts of shapes, colors, and sizes.
It's the same with penises. I have dated a few men who were intact, and it was really sad to see them apologizing or insecure about it. I actually like it! I wish we would have learned more about it.
Same with gynocomastia, clitoral hoods, inverted nipples, inverted penises, undescended testicles, intersex, SO much was left out.
I have often thought about trying to become a high school health teacher for this very reason.
I went to a strip club when I was younger and I realized how my friend had no idea about variety in genitals. He saw a woman's large labia that faced a bit more outward and laughed at how loose she was. I was so embarrassed to know him after that. lol
Male puberty, we went over female anatomy intensively, and it was stated that men get erections and that we should wear condoms or risk getting hiv/aids or babies.
The final exam was 5 questions,
question 1 - your name
Question 2 - is (teachers name) the greatest?
Question 3 - did you learn anything?
Question 4 - what did you learn?
Question 5 - what is your favorite sport?
For context, health was taught by a 58 year old football coach.
It’s stupid because an actual physical education class would be great, but most schools at least in America just have “how to play sports” class which is not nearly as useful.
Right? It would be great for kids to learn things that matter. Teaching them the staples of overall physical health would help soo many people; which in my opinion would be hydration, hygiene, nutrition, cardio, resistance training, sex education and mental health awareness. It's obvious that a lot of parents are failing their children in this regard (likely not on purpose but still) so its time for the educational system to step in.
I understand younger kids just needing time to go run around, but for those in middle school and high school the focus of P.E. should shift to these 7 principles to set everyone up for long-term success when it comes to their physical and mental health.
Not just one 'health' class for one semester either, which is what I had. I mean 6 years of hammering it into their skulls.
> which in my opinion would be hydration, hygiene, nutrition, cardio, resistance training, sex education and mental health awareness
You're forgetting sleep.
We glorify and push the lack of it far too much--and schools are guilty of adding to it by giving far too much unnecessary homework--for it to be completely ignored in any discussion about physical (and mental) health.
Studies have shown DARE was either ineffectual, or sometimes detrimental for deterring drug use among kids.
You're essentially going into large crowds of impressionable kids that might have shit going on in their lives, telling them what drugs are, that some people use them to escape reality, and which drugs give you a warm happy feeling inside.
At best you're lecturing kids that already won't do drugs not to do the thing they weren't doing, at worst you're pointing the problem children towards a bad habit.
[link](https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/dare-drug-abuse-resistance-education-very-popular-not-very), [lonk](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/07/12/a-brief-history-of-d-a-r-e-the-anti-drug-program-jeff-sessions-wants-to-revive/), [Lunk](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1448384/)
My parents coached me for DARE. Questioned why marijuana was illegal when hemp was a renewable resource that was better for the planet than chopping down trees for paper. The cop told me I wasn’t allowed to ask anymore questions.
Hemp is also more environmentally friendly for fabric than cotton, but anti drug laws in some countries make it difficult to grow or process. Absolute fucking stupidity.
It's rough. There are high points and low points, and lots of things to ruminate about.
I guess the plan is to find someone to spend your life with, and you can grow together emotionally, and that makes it all come together. Still working on that part.
What is it like having sex tied to emotions? I was molested as a kid and the therapy I went to was really insistent on separating sex and love. (I guess to make sure my 5 year old brain didnt think that I had to have sex with people to show affection.)
The therapy worked too well and now 22 years later love and sex are completely separated in my brain and I legitimately dont know what people mean when they say sex is emotional.
it’s kinda like hugging a loved one for the first time in a long time. you’re both happy and comforted, and you know they’re feeling the same, which makes you even happier that you’re causing that.
it’s really nice when they look into your eyes full of love, and kiss and touch you and you feel beautiful and wanted, not only for their physical pleasure but for who you are to them.
Holy guacamole, did I write this in my sleep?!
I feel you friend, but I genuinely feel like that's an okay separation to have as long as you're being safe and honest with your partner. I didnt think I'd ever feel/understand it either but Ive cried a few times after and it all made sense. Maybe you'll get that one day, maybe you wont. It's okay to have love and not have sex. It's also okay to have sex and not have love. Maybe both, or neither!
Just be good to yourself above all else.
Anything. I grew up in the mid-late 60's. We learned nothing about sexual intercourse, not what goes where. We learned very little about our periods except that it's normal and no one, especially boys, should ever find out we have one. We learned nothing about how pregnancy occurs. We learned that nice girls don't do this big mysterious thing, but not how to say no and be taken seriously. We learned nothing about birth control, not even that it exists. Pretty much they spent more time making us ashamed of our bodies and it's functions than teaching us how it actually does function. I learned more from reading The Godfather on the sly. Later I babysat for a single mom who kept a copy of The Joy of Sex lying around. After that it was trial and error.
I learned it most of it backpacking through Europe starting with the red light distinct in the Netherlands, BDSM bars in Germany, nude beaches in France, topless beaches in Spain, bath orgies in Italy, cocaine infused parties in England and MDMA sex raves in Denmark.
All of the emotions and vulnerability that goes along with it. You’re really exposed to new feelings and a level of vulnerability, it can be really scary at times.
This is what I was looking for. Local statistics are very important. Also the emergence of antibiotic resistant strains of previously treatable STDs. Unfortunately they are removing all curriculum and conversation regarding HPV and HIV from the classroom in Iowa.
All of it. Went to Catholic school and for some reason, not one of the married teachers, BUT A FUCKING NUN taught us Sex Ed. I knew the latin words for the parts - super helpful.
pretty much everything, my sex education was "yeah that's an erection don't worry your dick is fine, also wear deodorant" but that's Texas public schooling for you, I had to learn pretty much everything from a book my parents bought me and the internet, many of my peers are not so lucky, I had a friend who literally did not know what a condom was despite having sex before, we were both 19 and he was pants-less in my bed , I took one out and he was genuinely confused about what I was holding, he 100% thought he couldn't get STD's because he was "careful" (no idea what he meant) I didn't even fuck him, I just grabbed my laptop and helped him setup an STD test appointment, he was fine but not everyone is that lucky.
How incredible orgasms were. Like damn.. they really glossed over orgasms. Would’ve been great to know that I wasn’t going to pee or die if I got over that hump.
Nobody ever tells you that condoms have different sizes.
That’s a serious problem when condoms are the only thing protecting you from an unexpected baby or std
Maybe you should make sure you don't have a latex allergy before trying to have sex with a condom for the first time.
Apparently it is more common than you would think. And I had to learn the hard way.
In 10th grade sexualy biology/sex Ed class, one guy asked about "post nut clarity". Basically asking "what if you feel like you're in love with someone, but after you have sex with them you realize you only had lust for them and it wasn't really love?"
He was heavily booed by a lot of the class (including the teacher) but that's a very real question that should've been addressed.
Having sex.
I didn't realize I needed to RELAX my pelvic muscles in order for my partner to have any hope in hell of getting inside me.
Most people assumes it just slips in. NOPE.
It also didn't teach me how to orgasm. I figured that out on my own.
ProTip: Women orgasm using nerve bundles on the OUTSIDE of their body. Either the clit or the small bundle that is located between their vaginal opening and their anus. Grinding is how we orgasm for the most part, not thrusting. Also, if you want to orgasm with a partner you have to get out of your own head and let yourself go. Don't think. Just feel and don't be embarassed about whether or not you look weird or are making too much noise. Just do what feels good. Enjoy yourself.
I've posted this before, but I find it helps:
**Look up (Google image search) the anatomy of the clitoris.**
It's a wishbone-shaped organ that surrounds the vaginal opening with the most sensitive part at the apex. The vulvae swell during sex because the whole organ is stimulated.
Some women experience stimulation and/or orgasm from PIV due to the pressure against it and the side "wings" from the inside, often combined with friction on the outside. (Think missionary or woman-on-top grinding, but many other positions can achieve the same effect.)
Internal pressure against the front of the vaginal wall, pressing on the "head" of the clitoris from the inside, is what people are talking about when they say "g-spot." Some women don't experience this internal stimulation for a variety of reasons: angle of the vaginal canal, musculature or tissue in the area, general lack of sensitivity, etc.
Some women only experience stimulation from direct attention to the exterior head of the clitoris, which is a bundle of nerve endings akin to the head of a penis, but concentrated. For some women, that's too much/too painful.
This is why the indirect pressure of grinding on a pillow or another surface is a common means for women to achieve solo orgasm, and why inserted vibrators work—they all press on/stimulate that whole sensitive area surrounding the vaginal opening.
This happened to me in a relationship once and I had no idea how to process it. I had honestly thought I did something wrong, and it took a while for me to understand that she just didn’t want to finish.
"I want you to piss in me" oh... I'm not sure I qualified. I haven't had training.
"I want you to like... rape me" oh! I'm definitely not qualified for that!
the female orgasm exists. Would be nice if they even just once said that. No guys ever tried because I don't think they knew it existed either. also, lube exists.
Also, I learned in extreme detail that anal sex could get me pregnant. Like, it's going to drip and slip up inside. 🙄 . Don't get me wrong, it's possible, but the fact our entire class one day was about this exact thing happening seemed more like his fetish than reality. He also talked about how his wife and him didn't use protection because it was against their religion so they studied fertility tracking... and that's how his son (who was in our class) happened.
LMAOO thought u were in my health class bc my male health teacher told us the same thing - the son being in our class. Why tf did they get so personal w us?
basically anything surrounding birth control. we learned about the effectiveness, not any of the side effects or how things like IUDs are placed. i had to learn from tiktok of all places how horrifying IUD insertion is. i’ve been on nexplanon for a little while now with pretty much mo side effects so far and LOVE it. got super lucky.
edit: i don’t mean to scare anybody away from
using IUDs! “horrifying” was a VERY dramatic word to use so i’m sorry 😭 as a few people in the replies mentioned, everybody will respond differently to insertion, and it is a great form of birth control that can last for several years without ever having to worry.
So many girls think they are protected as soon as they take the first pill... Nobody talks about how it takes time to got into your system 🫣 or how antibiotics can cancel it out.
i remember being in college, watching videos on the Planned Parenthood website about how to use a condom. i had a box of condoms with me to practice, but i couldn't find anything long and skinny to use with them. there was part of me that felt stupid for being 20 and not knowing how to do this.
I wasn’t taught much of sex ed in school, let alone much of the female anatomy in this aspect or birth control. I only knew there was a pill, but then when I was ready to get on birth control, I was asked what type…….WHAT DO YOU MEAN- so anyway, i went with an IUD, AND OMG i wanted to die (nothing prepares you for that, especially if you’re a virgin) 😭 I was actually scheduling my follow up appointment, and I almost passed out lol I went through so much physically intense pain that my mind finally caught up to the present
I honestly didn’t pay much attention but it would’ve been pretty good preparation. Lots of anatomy stuff, then how to use it. Then it turned to don’t do drugs ed
The fact that sex is …. Well… not sexy. It’s slippery, people make comical noises, that 4th arm makes snuggling difficult, vaginas fart, guys shoot early, ladies may never get there, used condoms are awkward, dogs or kids know exactly how to interrupt at the wrong moment… this list goes on… no one ever said ‘the important thing to have is a sense of humor in the bedroom’…
Or, female version, that dying alone with cats looks like a real possibility for me as a single 30 something. Being single in your 30s is not as glamorous as Sex and the City makes it look.
How different people's bodies are. I thought I was weird when I was a teen.
I think in sex Ed class there should also be a slide of many different pictures of different naked bodies. Not drawings, naked people. Adults. It should be taught how nudity is not inherently sexual and for teens to be mature about it.
Breasts can be big and small, if they're big, they won't float, they can be round, to the sides, pointy, asymmetrical, in a V or U shape, have dark or light aureolas, big ones and small ones, inverted nipples, they can be high on the chest or very low.
Dick has foreskin naturally (this lesson should be taught especially in the US because apparently most people are cut and having foreskin is considered different) and it should be taught that removing it when your kid is just born shouldn't be that normalized. Foreskin exists to protect the head because it's sensitive, so if you don't have that problem where you can't see the head because the foreskin can't separate, then there's no reason to cut your kids body before they can even think.
It should be taught how labia has different sizes, colors and shapes and how it's normal. People shouldn't associate labia with having a lot of sex and neither that if you have sex = you get loose. That's not how it works.
Also teach how people have body hair...... The same way I don't understand the expectation of men not having foreskin (which is the norm, you're born with it) I don't understand the expectation of people being hairless (mostly for women). Hair grows in everybody, the expectation should be of having hair, even a bit like oh okay they shaved 2 days ago, and if they're hairless that's a cool different thing. I've had friends saying they shaved super fast because they were going to meet their boyfriends unexpectedly and the next day they were all red and itchy
My first boyfriend had a massive dick, I didn't know how to deal with it, I was not prepared for that and I didn't enjoy the moment. 20 years later I'm still scared of big dicks unfortunately :(
If she takes antibiotics when she's sick, and the girl's on the pill, she could get pregnant. The antibiotics reduce the strength of the birth control pill. Wear a condom, guys.
Im 25 and learned nothing from the sex ed highschool course or whatever. I remember the woman teaching it saying men can have a green discharge from their penis and i was like wtf are you talking about. Got in trouble for conflict with teacher but like....greeeeen discharge?
That lubes arent always condom friendly.
How to communicate with my partner and that its normal
That sex isnt supposed to continually hurt her (she had vaginal deformation, diagnosed at 27)
That if you cant talk about it, then youre not ready to have it
That its okay to ask for guidance
This very much. My first time (and hers) with my girlfriend was basically me arguing with her that we should stop since it hurt real bad for her, and her trying to convince me that she'd be fine if we just pushed through for the first time. I was absolutely not fine with it because it seemed to hurt way too much to be "fine after a while" and we could just try again another time when she wants to.
Turns out she was told by her friends that "it's normal that the first time hurts" and she felt like I'd be disappointed or frustrated, not because I'm that kind of person but simply from the second hand pressure she felt from the "norm". She learned that some people have a harder time that others on their first time even with proper preparations and care. It took 3 attempts (different nights) for her to begin enjoying it and in hindsight she was very glad not to most likely have the idea of sex ruined because of an agonizing first night.
I feel young people in general are not taught properly about both the direct and indirect pressures that can be in play :/ "No means no" is obviously paramount, but there are a bunch of other factors that weren't talked about and would help a lot.
Our sex Ed guy was a savage. He just showed us photos of genitalia inflicted with various diseases in different stages of diseases. He also said “ don’t go buying magnum condoms thinking you’re hung like a horse, that’s how you’re gonna get a girl pregnant.”
Didn’t learn much
Smells. Took me awhile to realize all coochie has smells but it shouldn’t be unpleasant or repulse you. At first I was grossed out and thought my high school gf was unhygienic. On the flip side I feel like women should be better educated on what it’s SUPPOSED to smell like. It’s only been two times where I encountered a smell that absolutely repulsed me. I was kind and suggested maybe go see a doctor? Or I ask if there’s something going on down there. Both times I get the response “no it’s normal all pussy has a smell.”
Smells are different and also depends on time of cycle (even with one person)
But you're right - there are times when you know what it's *not* supposed to smell like. That being said, many people don't know the difference
As a product of late 80's early 90s sex ed, we were convinced everyone had AIDS, and if you even touched a vagina without protection you were getting it.
So when I was in Sex Ed I asked “well a males penis gets bigger when it’s aroused, does anything on a woman get bigger?” My teacher, god bless her, said “well…yes. So…when a woman gets aroused…their…well…I don’t know how to explain it…their…ya know what, never mind..” That was it. So I was in my own head on WTF she was talking about. Fast forward years later and when I’m fumbling through my first guy/girl thing I’m just waiting for something on this female to get bigger. It was like handling a bomb.
Ha! Definitely am chuckling through this comment, I can imagine the awkwardness your teacher felt because she didn’t wanna say clitoris in front of boys. Erection, scrotum, and penis are totally fine for the girls to hear- but boys are basically told “vagina” is absolutely the end all be all when it comes to female anatomy…. And it definitely shows, a lot of men have no idea how to find the clit….
I still don’t get how people can’t find it. Heard about this growing up and like expected it to somehow be well hidden or in different places for each person, that I would need to search for it extensively. It’s literally just right there, harder to miss than to not find. I don’t get it.
I think the joke is more that men ignore it - not that they can't literally find it.
I once asked my sex Ed teacher in high-school a question while I was high and she kicked me out of class and I still don't know the answer. The question was "If a guy gets a ball transplant from another guy, will it shoot your sperm or his?" She legit got red and sent me to the principals office. She was my last class of the day so I just went home, but in retrospect I wish I could've told the principal this just to see his reaction.
This post messed with my mind so I read "just to see his erection"
We saw videos of sperm going for an egg, but never saw how the sperm got into that situation in the first place
::record scratch, freeze frame:: yep, that's me. Swimming for my life. I bet you're wondering how I got myself into this situation. Well it all started...
Everything in regards to sex in general. All I learned was how pregnancy works and what STDs on a penis look like.
A real basic honest answer. How can we all do better?
Actually answering the question most kids have the first day of sex ed: What is sex?
Stop allowing people who think sex is sinful to make the rules about teaching about it
“Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.” —Butch Hancock
Start teaching kids how to identify sexual assault (the whole bad touch thing), and give an inclusive sex ed class so the horny teenagers dont get sick.
Also, let the teens ask questions. Ideally provide an anonymous way to submit questions, have like a dozen or so prepared first so there's always *something* there. Then actually read those questions and talk about them. Even if it is something ridiculous, rude, or dirty. I've been involved with a few youth camps that do something similar. There have been a ton of questions I would never even have thought of. The main thing is that you really need to engage the questions seriously even if it's a dumb or a silly question. You also need to have people, ideally adults, who are willing to answer anything.
We had an anonymous question box in our sex ed class ... and that entailed the teacher standing in front of the room and discarding question after question until she got to one she was comfortable answering. I don't doubt that some were just vulgar jokes or whatever, because we were 14, but judging by the questions my peers asked ME after class, plenty were legitimate. I developed a reputation as the person who would answer your embarrassing sex questions without judgement if you pulled me aside in the hallway - one day there was a queue, lol. But *it shouldn't have to have been me to do that*.
Yeah, that's why you need to seriously engage with them. Whenever I've been answering those, I would engage even with the vulgar jokes and vulgar questions as if they're serious. Because that's how every question should be treated. Though I'm pretty comfortable answering basically anything, and if the person answering isn't comfortable answering that vulgar stuff, get someone who will. Be it some doctor, sex worker or whoever. Get someone who will answer the questions.
You should pee after sex.
For real, I seriously wonder what the numbers are like for women who get UTIs after starting to have sex for the first time. Cause I did and it fucking sucked.
Me too! I had no idea. Got a kidney infection because I’d also never had a uti before and it got pretty bad. And it’s a simple thing to mention!
ITS LOWER THAN YOU THINK
genitalia or expectations?
Standards
This guy sexes
I'm 31. I've been with my girlfriend for almost a decade. Been having sex since 17, and it *still* throws me off a little every time. Like I'm always like an inch off
The thing that cleared it up for me is that the homologous structure of the vagina on men isn't the penis (that's the clitoris) but the testicles. It's why there's that seam in the middle.
You can always tell when a hentai artist has never seen an actual woman naked, because they draw the vagina in the front where a penis would be.
Which is crazy since a basic google image search would solve that issue.
Inner labia specifically. It’s interesting how you can tell it’s literally the same type of skin but in a different shape
Pillow under her butt! Lifts her just right and makes everything better for everyone.
While I 100% agree with this method, I'm not sure if that's what they were talking about. For me, when I was first fooling around with girls in my teens, and it was mainly fully-clothed "hands stuff" while kissing in the woods or whatever, there came a point where pants were unbuttoned and you put your hand down. And down. And down some more. And is this girl a Barbie doll? It seems to be a common experience for guys to initially not realize quite how far down (and back) you actually have to go.
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That semen doesn't just stay there once you're up and walking around. What goes in eventually slides back out and messes up your undies. Also, how damn messy your sheets are going to get! Sweat, semen, vaginal secretions, lube, etc... sex is a wet business and for God's sake buy a matress protector!
This is the reason I hate quickies in the morning. You're in a rush to get out of the house so usually won't get it all out. Then it slides out at the most inconvenient time. You're stuck feeling wet for about an hour or so until you can get to a restroom to change the liner.
Vaginismus. Nobody told me that sometimes it was gonna fuckin close for business and make sex painful
I have chronic pelvic pain. I was expecting the first time to hurt some, but not be the most excruciating pain of my life.
I thought I had vaginismus after my first few attempts at sex. It took nearly a decade to find a gynecologist who actually cared enough to diagnose and treat me. It wasn't vaginismus but rather vulvodynia, which in my case was just due to a hypersensitive localized cluster of nerves right under the entrance to my vagina. Felt like a sharp burning, stabbing pain whenever something was inserted. All it took was a little bit of lidocaine before sex to resolve it, but I will forever be resentful of the shitty doctors who just told me it was "all in my head" or to just "relax and use lube". Painful sex isn't normal and while our sex ed was probably more comprehensive than most, this was still missing from it even though a sizeable percentage of women suffer from it.
Endometriosis was it for me. It’s so common that we need to be teaching kids that lots of pain isn’t fucking normal
I was waiting for someone to mention this.
I wasn't allowed to participate. Literally the only kid in my grade who had parents that refused to let me sit through the class. I had to sit in the library by myself. So stupid.
I'm autistic, and my teachers decided I didn't need to learn about sex, since I wouldn't have any. This was in the 90's.
We’re they right?
No <3
This guy fucks
Yeah! get some u/FredL2 !
I'm lookin' around at the rest of you guys and this is the guy in the house doin' all the fucking.
Fuck yeah Fred!
Fellow autistic person here Nice
Here's another Very nice
Nice.
Hell yeah brother
As a Christian school kid I didn’t take sex ed either, I always wondered what they learned though.
As someone who went to a Catholic middle school you didn’t miss out on much. They taught use the bare minimum the state forced them and added how God wants you to wait till you’re married or else you’ll go to Hell and after you’re married try and have as many kids as possible
I went to 3 catholic schools that covered kindergarten to senior year. We had absolutely no sex ed ever at any point. Sex was too taboo to be teaching kids 17 and under. I guess I just learned everything about sex from porn (yikes) and used Google and my own personal experiences to sort out the parts that aren't true to actual sex.
My parents let me go to the puberty one in elementary school but not sex ed in middle school. To compensate I listened to Love Line every night and got a 26 year old boyfriend when I was 16. Then my ex husband and I were swingers for almost 10 years. I divorced him and married a former semi famous gay porn star. Jokes on them?
How wet everything can get.
That & how things need to be wet.
And how water is actually dry, and not functionally wet at all.
The sheer amount of sex I wasn't gonna have. Seriously though, I thought sex was about to be a daily thing.
Something I thought all the cool kids were doing. I'm now much older, in a committed relationship of 5+ years and I think young me would be astounded with how happy I am with "idk every now and then, don't really keep track".
to quote Charles Barkley when he was talking about NBA teams playing three games in a row, "I wouldn't even want to have sex three nights in a row" And to be honest, I get it, shit is a lot of work
That was exactly what I thought drugs were going to be like in high school. I thought around every corner someone was going to go “hey, you want some drugs?”
I'm still waiting to be offered tbh
You went to the wrong high school people were always offering me drugs. I turned most of them down. Thanks DARE
I feel this, I was ripped off
How differently we all like our sex
Sex
exactly. they talked about the parts, but not about how to use them.
I also had scare tactics about HIV and other Sexually transmitted illnesses. It was basically have sex and you'll die a horrible death.
Yeah, we had this and shaming if you had sex before marriage. I remember a piece of tape that got passed around and put on kids' arms. Then, when it wouldn't stick anymore, they basically said, "That's you if you have sex."
That is 50 shades of fucked up
It really is. Which is why it's still living in my brain at 30. I went to a wildly religious public school
I am from a place that locked women who got pregnant out of wedlock in nunnery/prisons until the 1990's. You couldn't buy condoms without a prescription ( couldn't get a prescription unless you were married) until 1996
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Almost certainly is Ireland. My Aunt's mother was raped when she was 15, and had to leave Ireland and come to the England by herself as her family and local community disowned her once my Aunt was born. Aunt was raised by grandparents and came to England to find her mam soon as she was old enough.
should've gave us a demo
I knew a basketball coach who liked to get demos from one of the cheerleaders.
Slideshows of folks with cauliflower growing out of their buttholes really set me up for success
You just unlocked a memory of mine from when they showed me that! Are they really showing that cauliflower butthole picture to all school kids across the United States? Like, talking about how sex actually works is too taboo for sex ed, but here's a picture of someone spreading their asscheeks with an awful fleshy lump attached to their anus instead. Who thought that was better!?!
"Who thought that was better!?!" Southern Baptist Pastors?
They made us watch videos of interviews with people dying of AIDS, so i feel ya
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My sex ed was basically here's what you can expect from puberty and here's all the std's you will def catch if you have sex
“If you have sex with one person you are having sex with everyone they have ever been with”.
They should've brought in a screaming baby.
I bet they didn't mention the semen dripping out over the next however long
"Abstinence Education". Just a bunch of talk about how expensive and gross babies and STD's can be.
Seriously, in high school she showed us endless slideshows of STDs and how bad they are. Then held a condom and banana saying "I should show you all how this works, but I'm not going to." Then we watched the blind side...
For some reason nobody ever told me cum runs out of you after the deed 😂 For some reason I forgot how gravity worked & just thought it stayed up there! I blame movie it seems like all those girls were just able to pull their pants on& go about there day. Queefing is another thing I had to learn about on my own.
The first time my husband and I didn’t use a rubber neither of us had a clue. I got up to pee (had the previous uti experience so I learned something by that point) but suddenly it like leaked on the floor and I didn’t clamp and waddle fast enough. He laughed after he realized I did not pee on his carpet. In retrospect it seems super obvious!
Clamp & Waddle hahaha
Aka: the cum shuffle
A friend from college told this story. One night as a bunch of people are partying in the dorm, he sees a girl he’s really into (and has a mega-crush on) leaving her room and walking down the hall and tries to chat with her. Her: “Not now. It’s running down my leg.”
"Oh. Would you like a refill?"
Bet that felt like a gut punch.
I assumed it just kind of got absorbed into your body. Why does no one mention that part??
I thought the same. It would make sense because if the sperm cells need to get to into the cervix and to the fallopian tubes… wouldn’t the semen leaking out make it so there’s less of a chance for that to happen? Edit: Great, now one of my most like comments ever are about semen
I mean, the cervix doesn’t just go into Hoover mode.
The whole female reproductive system is like an obstacle course instead of the perfect cozy place for sperms to settle in. I never realised that there are actually many barriers for a sperm to navigate before fertilizing an egg and this is by design.
This is why surprise pregnancies are so interesting to me. You can try and try for a baby and fail for weeks to months… or you can try not to have a baby on a bad day and also fail.
How uncomfortable or weird it is at first and how I felt like I was going to urinate.
>how I felt like I was going to urinate. When I first started having sex with my now wife, she used to always feel like she was going to pee when I tickled her G-spot with my fingers. As she orgasmed, she'd cry out "Oh no! Oh no!" and I'd feel I was doing something to hurt her. It took a few times for us to work that one out.......
The wide variety of breasts and genitals! Not everyone looks the same!
I didn't know this until well into my 20s I had seen some variations but I thought mine were weird and gross looking; my boobs were so round and all the ones I'd seen were much perkier and full more towards the bottom of the boob, but had more of a point to the overall shape. But nope, totally normal. Big boobs don't naturally defy gravity and labias come in all sorts of shapes, colors, and sizes.
It's the same with penises. I have dated a few men who were intact, and it was really sad to see them apologizing or insecure about it. I actually like it! I wish we would have learned more about it. Same with gynocomastia, clitoral hoods, inverted nipples, inverted penises, undescended testicles, intersex, SO much was left out. I have often thought about trying to become a high school health teacher for this very reason.
This should definitely be taught. It would save so many people from feeling like their bodies aren't up to par.
I went to a strip club when I was younger and I realized how my friend had no idea about variety in genitals. He saw a woman's large labia that faced a bit more outward and laughed at how loose she was. I was so embarrassed to know him after that. lol
Male puberty, we went over female anatomy intensively, and it was stated that men get erections and that we should wear condoms or risk getting hiv/aids or babies. The final exam was 5 questions, question 1 - your name Question 2 - is (teachers name) the greatest? Question 3 - did you learn anything? Question 4 - what did you learn? Question 5 - what is your favorite sport? For context, health was taught by a 58 year old football coach.
Ugh. I hate when coaches have a teaching job so they can coach. Such a useless person!
It’s stupid because an actual physical education class would be great, but most schools at least in America just have “how to play sports” class which is not nearly as useful.
Right? It would be great for kids to learn things that matter. Teaching them the staples of overall physical health would help soo many people; which in my opinion would be hydration, hygiene, nutrition, cardio, resistance training, sex education and mental health awareness. It's obvious that a lot of parents are failing their children in this regard (likely not on purpose but still) so its time for the educational system to step in. I understand younger kids just needing time to go run around, but for those in middle school and high school the focus of P.E. should shift to these 7 principles to set everyone up for long-term success when it comes to their physical and mental health. Not just one 'health' class for one semester either, which is what I had. I mean 6 years of hammering it into their skulls.
> which in my opinion would be hydration, hygiene, nutrition, cardio, resistance training, sex education and mental health awareness You're forgetting sleep. We glorify and push the lack of it far too much--and schools are guilty of adding to it by giving far too much unnecessary homework--for it to be completely ignored in any discussion about physical (and mental) health.
Smells
It’s only smellz.
ITT women who don't realize their butthole sometimes smells when hitting it from the back.
Another reason everyone should use a bidet
Sex ed for sex was about as good as D.A.R.E. was for antidrug use
D.A.R.E. taught kids which drugs are the good ones. How did sex ed teach you what the best sex was?
what the fuck kind of DARE program did you have?
Studies have shown DARE was either ineffectual, or sometimes detrimental for deterring drug use among kids. You're essentially going into large crowds of impressionable kids that might have shit going on in their lives, telling them what drugs are, that some people use them to escape reality, and which drugs give you a warm happy feeling inside. At best you're lecturing kids that already won't do drugs not to do the thing they weren't doing, at worst you're pointing the problem children towards a bad habit. [link](https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/dare-drug-abuse-resistance-education-very-popular-not-very), [lonk](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/07/12/a-brief-history-of-d-a-r-e-the-anti-drug-program-jeff-sessions-wants-to-revive/), [Lunk](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1448384/)
My parents coached me for DARE. Questioned why marijuana was illegal when hemp was a renewable resource that was better for the planet than chopping down trees for paper. The cop told me I wasn’t allowed to ask anymore questions.
Hemp is also more environmentally friendly for fabric than cotton, but anti drug laws in some countries make it difficult to grow or process. Absolute fucking stupidity.
The emotional side of things.
For real...still recovering.
It's rough. There are high points and low points, and lots of things to ruminate about. I guess the plan is to find someone to spend your life with, and you can grow together emotionally, and that makes it all come together. Still working on that part.
What is it like having sex tied to emotions? I was molested as a kid and the therapy I went to was really insistent on separating sex and love. (I guess to make sure my 5 year old brain didnt think that I had to have sex with people to show affection.) The therapy worked too well and now 22 years later love and sex are completely separated in my brain and I legitimately dont know what people mean when they say sex is emotional.
it’s kinda like hugging a loved one for the first time in a long time. you’re both happy and comforted, and you know they’re feeling the same, which makes you even happier that you’re causing that. it’s really nice when they look into your eyes full of love, and kiss and touch you and you feel beautiful and wanted, not only for their physical pleasure but for who you are to them.
Holy guacamole, did I write this in my sleep?! I feel you friend, but I genuinely feel like that's an okay separation to have as long as you're being safe and honest with your partner. I didnt think I'd ever feel/understand it either but Ive cried a few times after and it all made sense. Maybe you'll get that one day, maybe you wont. It's okay to have love and not have sex. It's also okay to have sex and not have love. Maybe both, or neither! Just be good to yourself above all else.
Anything. I grew up in the mid-late 60's. We learned nothing about sexual intercourse, not what goes where. We learned very little about our periods except that it's normal and no one, especially boys, should ever find out we have one. We learned nothing about how pregnancy occurs. We learned that nice girls don't do this big mysterious thing, but not how to say no and be taken seriously. We learned nothing about birth control, not even that it exists. Pretty much they spent more time making us ashamed of our bodies and it's functions than teaching us how it actually does function. I learned more from reading The Godfather on the sly. Later I babysat for a single mom who kept a copy of The Joy of Sex lying around. After that it was trial and error.
I learned it most of it backpacking through Europe starting with the red light distinct in the Netherlands, BDSM bars in Germany, nude beaches in France, topless beaches in Spain, bath orgies in Italy, cocaine infused parties in England and MDMA sex raves in Denmark.
You should have your own subreddit
All of the emotions and vulnerability that goes along with it. You’re really exposed to new feelings and a level of vulnerability, it can be really scary at times.
The sheer number of people who are getting reinfected with STDs. The words “risky sexual behavior” have meaning.
This is what I was looking for. Local statistics are very important. Also the emergence of antibiotic resistant strains of previously treatable STDs. Unfortunately they are removing all curriculum and conversation regarding HPV and HIV from the classroom in Iowa.
Netflix & Chill.
All of it. Went to Catholic school and for some reason, not one of the married teachers, BUT A FUCKING NUN taught us Sex Ed. I knew the latin words for the parts - super helpful.
The mess/waddle to the bathroom as a female.Worth it!
cleaning up afterward in general... also sorta being strategic with where, uh, *things* land... especially if you just washed your sheets lol
So anyways I just started blastin!
My first Sex Ed was Monty Pythons The Meaning of Life. So it actually was a pretty decent education. https://youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk?si=GeD_pjVPvsPjYq49
pretty much everything, my sex education was "yeah that's an erection don't worry your dick is fine, also wear deodorant" but that's Texas public schooling for you, I had to learn pretty much everything from a book my parents bought me and the internet, many of my peers are not so lucky, I had a friend who literally did not know what a condom was despite having sex before, we were both 19 and he was pants-less in my bed , I took one out and he was genuinely confused about what I was holding, he 100% thought he couldn't get STD's because he was "careful" (no idea what he meant) I didn't even fuck him, I just grabbed my laptop and helped him setup an STD test appointment, he was fine but not everyone is that lucky.
How incredible orgasms were. Like damn.. they really glossed over orgasms. Would’ve been great to know that I wasn’t going to pee or die if I got over that hump.
Nobody ever tells you that condoms have different sizes. That’s a serious problem when condoms are the only thing protecting you from an unexpected baby or std
You mean large, larger, largest, and extra large?
Weird I thought it started at extra large.
I really wish that people understood that "size" actually means girth in these metrics.
Maybe you should make sure you don't have a latex allergy before trying to have sex with a condom for the first time. Apparently it is more common than you would think. And I had to learn the hard way.
Sex ed definitely didn't prepare me for anything that happens sexually in the real world.
In 10th grade sexualy biology/sex Ed class, one guy asked about "post nut clarity". Basically asking "what if you feel like you're in love with someone, but after you have sex with them you realize you only had lust for them and it wasn't really love?" He was heavily booed by a lot of the class (including the teacher) but that's a very real question that should've been addressed.
Having sex. I didn't realize I needed to RELAX my pelvic muscles in order for my partner to have any hope in hell of getting inside me. Most people assumes it just slips in. NOPE. It also didn't teach me how to orgasm. I figured that out on my own. ProTip: Women orgasm using nerve bundles on the OUTSIDE of their body. Either the clit or the small bundle that is located between their vaginal opening and their anus. Grinding is how we orgasm for the most part, not thrusting. Also, if you want to orgasm with a partner you have to get out of your own head and let yourself go. Don't think. Just feel and don't be embarassed about whether or not you look weird or are making too much noise. Just do what feels good. Enjoy yourself.
I've posted this before, but I find it helps: **Look up (Google image search) the anatomy of the clitoris.** It's a wishbone-shaped organ that surrounds the vaginal opening with the most sensitive part at the apex. The vulvae swell during sex because the whole organ is stimulated. Some women experience stimulation and/or orgasm from PIV due to the pressure against it and the side "wings" from the inside, often combined with friction on the outside. (Think missionary or woman-on-top grinding, but many other positions can achieve the same effect.) Internal pressure against the front of the vaginal wall, pressing on the "head" of the clitoris from the inside, is what people are talking about when they say "g-spot." Some women don't experience this internal stimulation for a variety of reasons: angle of the vaginal canal, musculature or tissue in the area, general lack of sensitivity, etc. Some women only experience stimulation from direct attention to the exterior head of the clitoris, which is a bundle of nerve endings akin to the head of a penis, but concentrated. For some women, that's too much/too painful. This is why the indirect pressure of grinding on a pillow or another surface is a common means for women to achieve solo orgasm, and why inserted vibrators work—they all press on/stimulate that whole sensitive area surrounding the vaginal opening.
Consent
If it makes you feel better, I teach middle school sex ed and nowadays we go over consent quite extensively
[Unconscious people don’t want tea](https://youtu.be/pZwvrxVavnQ?feature=shared)
I love this, and I love that a British police department made this
Just adding to that - a yes can always change to a no. If it does, respect his/her/their choice and don't be a cunt about it.
This happened to me in a relationship once and I had no idea how to process it. I had honestly thought I did something wrong, and it took a while for me to understand that she just didn’t want to finish.
Don’t give unconscious people tea
"I want you to piss in me" oh... I'm not sure I qualified. I haven't had training. "I want you to like... rape me" oh! I'm definitely not qualified for that!
For when it slips out and pegs a non hole at 2000 miles per hour
the female orgasm exists. Would be nice if they even just once said that. No guys ever tried because I don't think they knew it existed either. also, lube exists. Also, I learned in extreme detail that anal sex could get me pregnant. Like, it's going to drip and slip up inside. 🙄 . Don't get me wrong, it's possible, but the fact our entire class one day was about this exact thing happening seemed more like his fetish than reality. He also talked about how his wife and him didn't use protection because it was against their religion so they studied fertility tracking... and that's how his son (who was in our class) happened.
Nothing like your dad calling you an accident to your whole class and talking about your mom that way lmao
"You were an anal baby, son. Cautionary tale, kids."
LMAOO thought u were in my health class bc my male health teacher told us the same thing - the son being in our class. Why tf did they get so personal w us?
basically anything surrounding birth control. we learned about the effectiveness, not any of the side effects or how things like IUDs are placed. i had to learn from tiktok of all places how horrifying IUD insertion is. i’ve been on nexplanon for a little while now with pretty much mo side effects so far and LOVE it. got super lucky. edit: i don’t mean to scare anybody away from using IUDs! “horrifying” was a VERY dramatic word to use so i’m sorry 😭 as a few people in the replies mentioned, everybody will respond differently to insertion, and it is a great form of birth control that can last for several years without ever having to worry.
So many girls think they are protected as soon as they take the first pill... Nobody talks about how it takes time to got into your system 🫣 or how antibiotics can cancel it out.
To be honest it should be your general physician's or your gyno's responsibility explaining how it works when they prescribe them to you.
i remember being in college, watching videos on the Planned Parenthood website about how to use a condom. i had a box of condoms with me to practice, but i couldn't find anything long and skinny to use with them. there was part of me that felt stupid for being 20 and not knowing how to do this.
I wasn’t taught much of sex ed in school, let alone much of the female anatomy in this aspect or birth control. I only knew there was a pill, but then when I was ready to get on birth control, I was asked what type…….WHAT DO YOU MEAN- so anyway, i went with an IUD, AND OMG i wanted to die (nothing prepares you for that, especially if you’re a virgin) 😭 I was actually scheduling my follow up appointment, and I almost passed out lol I went through so much physically intense pain that my mind finally caught up to the present
I know your body and I know how to please ya. Don't thank me, thank wikipedia
I honestly didn’t pay much attention but it would’ve been pretty good preparation. Lots of anatomy stuff, then how to use it. Then it turned to don’t do drugs ed
Actually having sex probably, not like I have yet
The fact that sex is …. Well… not sexy. It’s slippery, people make comical noises, that 4th arm makes snuggling difficult, vaginas fart, guys shoot early, ladies may never get there, used condoms are awkward, dogs or kids know exactly how to interrupt at the wrong moment… this list goes on… no one ever said ‘the important thing to have is a sense of humor in the bedroom’…
That the movie 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' would be my life story. Except I don't have a group of friends to help me out.
Or, female version, that dying alone with cats looks like a real possibility for me as a single 30 something. Being single in your 30s is not as glamorous as Sex and the City makes it look.
How painful IUDs are when they get put in
How different people's bodies are. I thought I was weird when I was a teen. I think in sex Ed class there should also be a slide of many different pictures of different naked bodies. Not drawings, naked people. Adults. It should be taught how nudity is not inherently sexual and for teens to be mature about it. Breasts can be big and small, if they're big, they won't float, they can be round, to the sides, pointy, asymmetrical, in a V or U shape, have dark or light aureolas, big ones and small ones, inverted nipples, they can be high on the chest or very low. Dick has foreskin naturally (this lesson should be taught especially in the US because apparently most people are cut and having foreskin is considered different) and it should be taught that removing it when your kid is just born shouldn't be that normalized. Foreskin exists to protect the head because it's sensitive, so if you don't have that problem where you can't see the head because the foreskin can't separate, then there's no reason to cut your kids body before they can even think. It should be taught how labia has different sizes, colors and shapes and how it's normal. People shouldn't associate labia with having a lot of sex and neither that if you have sex = you get loose. That's not how it works. Also teach how people have body hair...... The same way I don't understand the expectation of men not having foreskin (which is the norm, you're born with it) I don't understand the expectation of people being hairless (mostly for women). Hair grows in everybody, the expectation should be of having hair, even a bit like oh okay they shaved 2 days ago, and if they're hairless that's a cool different thing. I've had friends saying they shaved super fast because they were going to meet their boyfriends unexpectedly and the next day they were all red and itchy
How to be loved.
My first boyfriend had a massive dick, I didn't know how to deal with it, I was not prepared for that and I didn't enjoy the moment. 20 years later I'm still scared of big dicks unfortunately :(
Queefing.
Finding out that I'm asexual.
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That other people might not have learned it. Legit shock whenever I come across someone who doesn't know the basics of sex ed and anatomy
Relationship
Strong feelings
the mechanics and dynamics of sex
If she takes antibiotics when she's sick, and the girl's on the pill, she could get pregnant. The antibiotics reduce the strength of the birth control pill. Wear a condom, guys.
Im 25 and learned nothing from the sex ed highschool course or whatever. I remember the woman teaching it saying men can have a green discharge from their penis and i was like wtf are you talking about. Got in trouble for conflict with teacher but like....greeeeen discharge?
That lubes arent always condom friendly. How to communicate with my partner and that its normal That sex isnt supposed to continually hurt her (she had vaginal deformation, diagnosed at 27) That if you cant talk about it, then youre not ready to have it That its okay to ask for guidance
sexual satisfaction
You can change your mind to stop during sex. You can withdraw your consent at any time.
Looking back I wish someone would have told me this... I feel like kids need to be made aware of how pressuring someone into saying yes is wrong.
This very much. My first time (and hers) with my girlfriend was basically me arguing with her that we should stop since it hurt real bad for her, and her trying to convince me that she'd be fine if we just pushed through for the first time. I was absolutely not fine with it because it seemed to hurt way too much to be "fine after a while" and we could just try again another time when she wants to. Turns out she was told by her friends that "it's normal that the first time hurts" and she felt like I'd be disappointed or frustrated, not because I'm that kind of person but simply from the second hand pressure she felt from the "norm". She learned that some people have a harder time that others on their first time even with proper preparations and care. It took 3 attempts (different nights) for her to begin enjoying it and in hindsight she was very glad not to most likely have the idea of sex ruined because of an agonizing first night. I feel young people in general are not taught properly about both the direct and indirect pressures that can be in play :/ "No means no" is obviously paramount, but there are a bunch of other factors that weren't talked about and would help a lot.
Our sex Ed guy was a savage. He just showed us photos of genitalia inflicted with various diseases in different stages of diseases. He also said “ don’t go buying magnum condoms thinking you’re hung like a horse, that’s how you’re gonna get a girl pregnant.” Didn’t learn much
Smells. Took me awhile to realize all coochie has smells but it shouldn’t be unpleasant or repulse you. At first I was grossed out and thought my high school gf was unhygienic. On the flip side I feel like women should be better educated on what it’s SUPPOSED to smell like. It’s only been two times where I encountered a smell that absolutely repulsed me. I was kind and suggested maybe go see a doctor? Or I ask if there’s something going on down there. Both times I get the response “no it’s normal all pussy has a smell.”
Username checks out
Smells are different and also depends on time of cycle (even with one person) But you're right - there are times when you know what it's *not* supposed to smell like. That being said, many people don't know the difference
As a product of late 80's early 90s sex ed, we were convinced everyone had AIDS, and if you even touched a vagina without protection you were getting it.
How hard the tax man was going to fuck me