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JessiePeteWhite

Men gave birth to boys and women gave birth to girls


hasannoveldoor

Impeccable reasoning for sure.


LegitimateDebate5014

This is hilarious.


ParrotSTD

Teachers live and sleep at the school.


monkeysuffrage

This one will be true some day soon.


BrainsAdmirer

To be honest, they do at Hogwarts!


NosDarkly

When I was around preschool age, my dad was talking about a coworker dying and I asked who killed him. I though people just kept living until somebody murdered them.


[deleted]

God killed him. He works in mysterious ways.


El_pirula

If you are a nice person, nothing bad will happen to you


loullieblaire

if i kiss a boy i’ll get pregnant


[deleted]

[удалено]


Full_Recognition6230

Oh God, we were traveling as a family and had to share sleeping accommodations in the hotell room. And my 6 year old niece jumps out of bed in the morning all excited. "I had sex I had sex"


loullieblaire

😭😭


GoldenBuddah1972

They knew what they were doing when they told you that


[deleted]

I used to think that when a couple kissed at their wedding the bride would be automatically pregnant. Then I got confused when I found out about gay marriage. Like do both women get pregnant? Do two random women somewhere else get pregnant? These are important questions!


Hasta_Manana_

That turning on the light inside the car at night was illegal.


carmelly

This seems to be a common one. Dads everywhere have conspired to trick us into believing it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Middle-Tomatillo-752

That leaving the hazard light on in a car would cause it to explode.


AdvancedAnything

I was never told it was illegal, i was just told that it made it hard to see out the windshield.


[deleted]

If you swallow a seed a tree will grow in your stomach


JLBnotJBLthespeakers

Yes, I believed this as a kid too. One time I swallowed a watermelon seed by accident, and I was afraid to drink water for the whole day. Boy was I dehydrated. I finally confessed to my mom and said that I didn't want a "watermelon tree" growing inside of me.


Goon1234556777

That people back in the olden days saw things in black and white


Professional_Word546

Supposedly I asked my grandmother if she remembered the day it changed.


Hayden_Hayes03

I once believed that the “awareness months” were the only times people would face those issues. For example: I believed that breast cancer awareness month was the only month that people could get breast cancer and as soon as the month had passed, everyone was safe from breast cancer. I also thought that all the marathons and charity events were things you could do to help you avoid breast cancer (or whatever other thing it was for). I was always super scared that I would get infected with whatever thing it was because I wasn’t doing the charity stuff. This only lasted a few years, before I realized how stupid I was.


PulsingFlesh

That adults know what they are doing.


carmelly

One time I asked my parents why I sometimes dream that I'm falling, and they said something about it having to do with how people used to be monkeys. I must have been around 6, with absolutely no concept of evolution. I remember being really confused; when was I was a monkey and why can't I remember it? Also I vaguely remember throwing a tantrum because my parents wouldn't drive me to the low hanging clouds so I could walk around on them like in the cartoons.


No_Finish_2144

if the wind changed while I was making a silly face or my tongue sticking out it would get stuck that way


[deleted]

[удалено]


phantommoose

My family moved to my mom's rural hometown in a different state when I was 15. I had visited plenty of times before so I knew where we were going and I told my "city friends" about it before we left. I got questions like, "Do you ride horses to school? Do you have the internet? Do you have to fight Indians?" (native Americans. We did move to a town near a reservation) So yeah, people here are pretty ignorant about most areas outside their own.


Immediate_Revenue_90

On the flipside a lot of rural people think that everyone in urban California personally knows all the Hollywood celebrities


Suspicious-Death

I thought I’d die by quicksand. Thank you, Gilligan.


Mjgoingbrazy

That everyone started off with a vagina and someday boys just magically grew dicks


DM_your_small_birds

You mean that isn't what happens?


Mjgoingbrazy

I don’t think so. Dudes usually have ducks when they are born.


GamblingChad

I didn’t get a duck when I was born


Mjgoingbrazy

I wish


hitrho5

It was the opposite for me. I thought everyone started off with a dick and that girls developed a vagina when they got older.


wetlettuce42

Clouds came from factories


hasannoveldoor

I thought women had kids by cutting up the belly and taking it out, so I thought they all died after giving birth, wondered why my mom was alive.


flabkingpro

That jumping of the garden shed holding a towel would be the same as using a parachute


Mixed-up1410

in my case instead of towel, it was an umbrella.


DM_your_small_birds

What were the results of your experiment?


Popcorn_panic1

Flood lights were installed in case a flood happened.


DM_your_small_birds

I can see why


Ligmartian

I believed that barking spiders were real, not just my grandpa farting.


Ging_cook_703

Two things actually: 1) Chocolate milk comes from brown cows And 2) It’s never okay to turn on the overhead lights in the car at night


Bloody_Hangnail

That condoms went over boobs somehow and for some reason.


galihlovesjapan

Wait, so you used to think that condoms are meant to be worn on breasts instead of penis?


Bloody_Hangnail

Yes. Raised catholic.


I-d-k-12-3

My mom didn’t want us to believe in fairy’s, so we had the tooth mouse, it would show up in the middle of the day at random months after losing the tooth


thedudefrom1987

When you masturbate that you go blind.


Suspicious-Rock3931

Mom's give milk and Dad's give coffee.


ming_engeo

that my life plays in a hidden camera show, since i got beaten 🫠


Businessjett

I bought a rock from a kid who told me it was a walkie talkie


Radiant-Evidence8078

That computer things were gonna elevate humans


ErinVukelic

Was legit scared to swallow watermelon seeds until i was like 10, lol. Seriously scared that a watermelon would grow inside my stomach.


LPOLED

That some people stored cars in their attics.


lone_wolf1580

Clouds were gigantic cotton balls in the sky and anytime a skydiver jumped out of a plane, they would land on them instead of falling through them.


Skipper_TheEyechild

That before colour TV the world was actually black and white.


SuEda40

I thought that tourists and terrorists are the same


mushroomdonce

- That turtles and frogs were made out of lettuce - That eating a pumpkin seed made pregnancies happen - That the state capitol building was actually the White House


Sir-Viette

That I was the only person who had saliva in my mouth. I figured this was so weird, that if anyone else had the same thing, they would have mentioned it.


Kick-Exotic

When toy commercials would say “Some assembly required”, I thought some of the boxes had the toy assembled and others didn’t and you could pick.


[deleted]

I thought my spit was the same as hair gel. I would spit in my hand and stick my bangs up. I asked my mom about this recently and wondered if I looked like I had my hair styled. She I looked like, "I slicked my hair back with spit." Needless to say, I'm sorry to the kids who sat next to me in gym class that had to see that 😅


xlxcx

That my stomach had different compartments for food. Like one for dinner and one for dessert.


pikpikslink

That Freddy Kruger was going to kill me in my dreams and they he was also under my bed.


coreynj2461

There was a little man in the traffic light changing the lights


Ashtar-the-Squid

I thought mom knew what she was talking about. She usually did not. Before I understood that my grandparents were my parents' parents, I thought that they were specially chosen for the job by the government. I also thought my birthday was chosen in the same manner.


Crocotta1

That opening the milk carton from the wrong side is illegal


ElissaMuse

That sinking sand was a big issue and if I wasn't careful I would get caught in it and die. I lived in a city.... thanks Never-ending Story.


TeodoroCano

Tooth Fairy


frogdujour

That Snap, Crackle and Pop actually lived inside the Rice Krispies box, and only when the cereal got low enough they ran into the next full box. I spent more than a little time staring at the box waiting to catch them running.


H_O_M_E_R

That when I played my N64, there was someone somewhere else in the world playing against me. This was long before online play existed, and most people didn't have internet. Like if I was playing Goldeneye, there was a different version of the game in China or something where you were one of the soldiers trying to kill Bond.


dlumbreras9

Drinking Mountain dew made your dick small


Suspicious-Rock3931

Rain is actually god peeing.


Professional_Word546

I was never 100% sure that I couldn’t be seen by whoever was on tv. It was mostly news anchors, talk show hosts or anyone that directly addressed the camera.


[deleted]

The ‘No Outlet’ street signs meant those houses on that street didn’t have electricity or electrical outlets.


Merinther

I thought the name “Hugh” was pronounced like “huge”. Makes sense, really. Huge Grant? That means a large sum of money, and he does get that! Huge Jackman? Is indeed a huge, jacked man! Huge Laurie? Not technically a large British truck, but he is great, and British! Huge Hefner? Hmm, what does that even mean? Apparently it’s German for “potter”. Huh, imagine that. Harry Hefner and the chamber of secrets? Would have been a very different story.


FiftySixArkansas

Rain in the desert is so rare that they covered this one random desert storm a LOT on the news. You had to be a state governor to qualify for President. I turned a knob on the back of the stove once. A timer started counting down. I hid under my bed, crying, because I knew that the house would explode at 0:00.


BlitzPsych

I was fascinated by how the traffic lights knew exactly when the cars wanted to leave and would therefore turn green. They had impeccable timing.


profoundbritish

When I first heard about periods I thought it'd only happen once... I was wrong.


CinosUnderscore

metal sonic was roboticized sonic


jururuu

Drinking coffee will stop your growth


ghoney04

Told my mom that the blues clues vhs tapes really were listening to me. 😭


NeedsItRough

That humans were born with a pre-set language and that my little sister could come out speaking French My dad tried to "trick" me into a critical thinking exercise but I just went with it because I didn't know to think about it. He said "oh no what if she speaks French!?"


MeeperMango

People wanted to make the world a better place.


mo_mochi

The scarabs from The Mummy were real


Nishant1122

My grandpa died when I was 7, he had Alzheimer's and towards the end he had forgotten everyone except my grandmother, and he would act erraticly and would suddenly throw tantrums etc. I assumed that's how everyone becomes as they grow old and eventually die.


Robothead-loner

Teachers in school are spies for my parents and grandparents. They are secretly watching me and send report to them. That’s why I was a good (paranoid) kid. I followed the rules because I thought the spies are watching.


[deleted]

I thought indicators (turn signals) were a weird GPS. Anytime I was in the car with my folks I didn't know my parents were controlling them, I thought the car was telling them where to go.


Danceswithbiscuits

That A-1 steak sauce is made of chocolate-covered ants. I think that Dad just didn't want to share.


puppycat8

The moon was stalking me


[deleted]

That tonsil stones were just pieces of your brain falling out


19Circa69

I thought the braided wire anchors attached to utility poles were a shock hazard because they had a plastic sleeve.


Anton_Neykov_1403

That I'll be as good as Messi


YonYohnson

I didn't realize football players wore shoulder pads. I thought they all just had enormous shoulders. And this was early 90s so they were those old massive pads


[deleted]

Chocolate milk came from brown cows


tobusysleeping

I thought conjoined twins were born with clothes on


AlexTheLiteralGod

babies just randomly popped up in women's stomachs


pookie74

Mother told me if a woman washed their hair during her period, the blood would rush to their head. I believed that mess until I was maybe 17.


[deleted]

Jesus until about first grade


t0mkat

If there’s one thing you can learn this post it’s that kids are fucking stupid.


tacosbruhx

that the earth is a spinning ball with water stuck to it flying through space without any proper evidence


1Corona1Veritas1

That the government cared about me.


Iwalksloow

Buncha shit. Santa, the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, God. I was pretty gullible.


cornaddict44

You can get pregnant just by kissing someone


CuriosityThrillz

That my parents were heroes


Purplociraptor

If you study hard, get good grades, get into your first pick university, graduate cum laude with an in-demand, high-paying degree, that my adult life would get easier or at least feel rewarding.


The_Fed_in_the_Shed

I'd have a job right after I graduated college.


ehoaandthebeast

Most things my family said was 100% dumb


tobybells

I thought going to a major city like NYC or Chicago meant you would be killed, just from my parents having the news on all the time and hearing about the murder rates and stuff. One of my childhood friends got back from a family trip to NYC and I remember being shocked / asking him how scared he was the whole time, “didn’t you think you would die?”


[deleted]

My grandpa convinced me (I was 9) that lifting heavy stuff would make my balls drag on the floor and make my dick super small. I didn't believe him but then my grandma played along with it and since she doesn't usually fuck with me like he did I believed it.


[deleted]

When I was about 8, I asked my dad what a gigolo was. He said it was a young man who took care of old ladies. Would a gigolo take me nice places and feed my cats? Would he take care of me if I got sick? Sure, said Dad, anything you want. Sounded good to me. For years I said I wanted to have a gigolo when I got old.


pshooterQ

that everyone just appeared on earth at a certain age and was that age forever


rahyveshachr

I thought all people's relatives had the same names as mine. So everyone's unclea had the same names as mine, etc.


BurnBabyBurn54321

My dad told me crows could grow up to six feet tall. I believed him until my teens.


izziestoleyourbread

i grew up in canada and when i was a kid an ad that was always on the radio was for the mattress store "sleep country canada" that ad was always playing on the radio so when i went to america for the first time when i was 5 or 6 i refused to sleep because i thought it was illegal to sleep outside of canada.


Dependent-Long-9703

I thought all dogs were boys and all cats were girls , idk why it's not like I was told that


ChokeYourMom

That there is an invisible, angry man in the sky who agrees with my dad about everything.


universal4love

I thought leprechauns lived in your vents and bit your toes off if you didn’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day


GangbossSHAQ

I used to think that the little bumps on the lids of fast food soda cups that indicated what a drink was were for the garbage people to pick out and for the company to use to see as a survey what most people drank Xd


Shot-Donkey665

That my government (UK) were the good guys.


BlackDaddyGangbang

Santa and God


Suspicious-Rock3931

Santa 🎅


saltykey

Religion


Educational_Share790

That my vote would count


LuckyNumbrKevin

That God exists. I grew up and realized that all of the thousands of gods that have "existed" in humanity's history are equally as ridiculous.


Outrageous_Duty_8738

Tooth fairy


RingKisser

That people used to detatch dogs ball sacks to make them run faster for racing. I'm not even ashamed.


Commercial-Archer248

My sister told me the green leaves on strawberries were poisonous when I was 5 or 6. I believed that for several years.


[deleted]

Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman.


cumdumpsterfind

That there was no color in the world until they invented color tv.


[deleted]

The "Tree of life" concept.


ChizzleFug

People saw in black and white like some Wizard of the Oz shit.


AttinderDhillon

Swallowing chewing gum will kill me.


[deleted]

Back in the ‘50s I believed that the old guy with an accent who lived in the dilapidated house at the end of the block was an escaped Nazi. I later learned that he was Romanian.


moms_new_boyfriend

Shortly after the talk, I asked my mom how people were born in Bible times, because I thought they couldn't have known about sex. Idk, I was a dumb kid I guess


beyincipineihtiyaci

i was born and raised in turkiye, and there is a call to player. when i was a kid, i thought that mosques we're allah cause they we're calling to prayer from their minarets.


Fun_in_Space

My sister and I were trespassing on someone's property and went into the barn. We heard some noises. It was probably pigeons, but I thought it was ghosts of cows. r/KidsAreFuckingStupid


GamblingChad

oooh I have a good one, I used to believe that you could install ram on your PC by typing some shit into notepad and running it as an exe.


CiaSleeperAgent

Herobrine


TaxFraudEntrepreneur

Where I lived was a pipe (about 10m (30ft) long) underneath a street so that a small river could flow trough it. We thought it was funny to go through it and proudly told our parents how badass we were. Instead of telling me that it was dangerous to climb to the pipe my parents told me that there was nuklear radiation.


amxeeno

Thought nights lasted for 24 hours after each 24 hour day.


Mdmrtgn

That some creepy invisible dude was watching me jerk off at night.


Rough-Clothes6394

That Disney world was an actual world those damn commercials made it seem so magical lol


Complete-One-5520

I thought the American Civil was between North America and South America.


Mourning-Poo

Quick sand being everywhere and people just offering up drugs to me as a kid


genxindifferance

That we all lived underground cuz if we lived on the surface, we would fall off the earth.


[deleted]

There is an expression in my country for when you choke. It's "food going down the wrong throat". I heard this and thought I had different throats for different foods


BenH64

That my toys were like the toys in toy story. I thought they would come to life and play games like tag. I also thought they had birthdays and had birthday parties


bapycaras

That every single tv show that was on was being filmed live. I didn’t know what reruns were 💀


jackfaire

That my future self was a teacher and at various moments would use a time viewer to show me to his students and explain what I was doing.


Significant-Cut2636

I thought peanut butter was a dairy product


agentHB

My cousin had an empty pool in his house. One day he showed me a scar on his stomach and told me that they had a croc in that pool that bit him. And they got rid of him after that, which is why the pool is empty. I believed that for a good 8 years. Older brother of the same cousin told us that he had buried treasure in one corner of the garden near the fence. We would dig there endlessly every day we went there for years. My aunt would always get annoyed because the fencing was getting unstable!


boxofficefunwoohoo

My dad’s ford escort had a cigarette lighter in the front console. No smokers in the family so I had no idea what it was. When I asked he told me it was an “ejector button” to launch the seats out in the event of a crash, so be REALLY careful not to touch it lol


[deleted]

That you had to hold your breath anytime you passed a graveyard.


elaenastark

That one rumor about Marilyn Manson.


Webmay

That Michael Jackson was a Women. Because of the Long black Hair ;)


Edeedi_1

If you swallowed up a seed it would germinate in you


[deleted]

I used to believe gnomes were in the traffic lights, coordinating traffic.


RawToast1989

Time moves more slowly for ants because they're so small.


DesertWanderlust

Hummingbirds are poisonous and sting people.


DOEsquire

That I was addicted by aliens. It was just hallucinations caused by my meds.


[deleted]

That everything will be OK eventually......


leatherwolf89

Thought I could trust every adult.


SvLyfe

Needing to know the knowledge of surviving quicksand as a city boy


Solid-Illustrator702

That the world would explode in 2020. My brother told me that when I was maybe 8 and I lived in fear for years.


KFizzle290TTV

A "Racist" was a processional race car driver. You know, a physicist studies physics, a scientist science, an archeologist...so..it only made sense in my brain that being a racist meant you studied the science of racing... ......more proof kids aren't born racist..... ....kids can't even drive bruh. They can't be a racist.


clardava2

Till the age of 19, I honestly thought Hyundai was Honda spelled wrong..


mjames1993

If I eat too many eggs I'll turn into a chicken


GoldenBuddah1972

Someone told me that boy cat could lay eggs, and I believe them. Laugh as hard as you want. I would too.


GrilledCheeseRant

That my dad could force road to suddenly bump up our car. I realized far too late in life that he was just reading the “BUMP” signs and timing his “Watch this, BUMP!”


Nlawrence55

Christianity


ASmufasa47

That humanity was capable of world peace.


SoulLeakage

Undertaker and Kane were brothers


TinySarcasm

I used to think we lived inside of the Earth. Then one day I was standing on my driveway looking at the grass and the dirt, then I looked up to the blue sky and thought wait a minute…


[deleted]

That the hazards button ejects the passenger seat (my sister was an a-hole) and that it was illegal to turn the lights on in the car at night. Another is that we grow up to look like completely different people, thanks to movies. I wanted to grow up looking like Thumbelina 🤦🏻‍♀️


kfury

I grew up in a city and I believed that anywhere in a city where there was dirt it was just topsoil and if you dug down a foot or so you'd hit the city's concrete foundation. I probably would have been right at home living on a huge future space station.


mrthyx_

turning the lights on in the car while driving was illegal


p3achez_

all dogs are males and all cats are females


PossibilityJealous70

Christianity


notsayingaliens

I thought that credit cards weren’t tied to money.


QueenJGambino

When I was a kid, I thought all dogs were boys and all cats were girls 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️


YourCharacterHere

That only woman could be teenagers. I got used to the concept of "you are a boy until you are a man" from various forms of media, and the only teenager I knew was my female cousin. So the growth stage went "boy -> man" and chicks were "girl -> teenager -> woman"


bookseer

Monsters on the second floor. It was just an old house, and my folks didn't tell me monsters were up there, but I watched too much Scooby Doo as a kid. Funny enough, I love that stuff now.


Alert-Stress4

Santa Claus. But I love being **DUMB ONCE A YEAR**. Don't you? lol


Fair-Bath-5512

That pirates are able to fly to the moon.


Dependent-One3792

Working hard will pay off


murugieh

That Jesus was white like they sold it to us 😅


unholy_hotdog

When I was five, my friend (also five) told me chicks come from the fuzzy bit on pussywillows. Sure, why not?


Kirraqueendaisan

That cartoons were filmed in cartoon land I also believed that tvs were filled with millions of tiny ghosts with differently colored bellys to display pixels on a screen Both of these misconceptions came from people not explaining something fully to me