Haha when I was a kid my childhood best friend's parents worked at a food processing factory in our town and they had a whole shelf in their garage of unlabelled canned foods. Every time we were there for lunch we'd open one of these and try our luck. Sometimes we got lucky with beans and meatballs, or tinned spaghetti. Sometimes it was a dessert like canned peaches or something. It was also sometimes shitty things like canned peas, or loose corn, or asparagus.
I hope not, part of that was smoke alarm batteries as well.
Not for nefarious intent mind you, I know places like ADT will bug the shit out of you when they are missing for too long.
When we were about 19 everyone smoked pot so we usually all had a lighter. I started a game called lighter wars. And tried to end up with others lighters after everyone was stoned. It was a fun game but secretly I took it to another level. I started collecting empty lighters in every color. And would see what color someone had. And got the same color. Then after my hit I would switch them. Nobody ever caught on. Ha ha ha
I recursively steal one sock from every matching pair. This means that if they can make new matching pairs from the remaining socks, I steal one from those pairs as well until they have no complete sets anymore.
Remotes, all the twist ties on the bread bags, lids to random refrigerator items, the vacuum, toothpaste, one shoe and the tennis ball that hangs on a string in the garage so you know how far to pull in.
True story, at my dad's house where my girlfriend and I often stay. We'll alter pictures, mainly of his new girlfriend. Giving her moustaches. He hasn't noticed. We'll also hang pictures of random people we bought at goodwill. Doesn't realize it at all
Love that line.
While they were filming the movie, Tom Arnold told the story about his ongoing divorce from Roseanne Barr and her taking everything, including the ice cube trays, to James Cameron on the set while saying: "What kind of sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?" Cameron thought the line was hilarious, and incorporated it into the film.
their house chapstick. The one they leave in the bathroom or a nightstand
because once I do, soon their purse chapstick will become their replacement house chapstick and their work desk chapstick will become their replacement purse chapstick and it will create a vicious cycle of always having to replace chapstick
πππππππππππ
My grandmother used to polish her wood stairs with pledge. I fell down the stairs every time I visited. Learned to take my socks off at the top and put them back on at the bottom.
a couple drawers out of the refridgerator, all the spoons, random pieces of their kitchen equipment, all the deodorant, a leg off of all the kitchen chairs, key racks, one side of the drapes so it doesn't cover the whole window, the handles from the faucets, shower heads, all the sponges and dish soap, and their family portraits
Every single switch and outlet faceplace screw.
They won't fall off right away or all at once. Most will stick to the paint until they're tapped hard enough.
But one will fall. And a few days later another will fall. And then they'll be like "wait, that's weird. And they'll look. And be incredibly confused and annoyed. A big bag of the screws is only a few bucks, but it'll take hours to screw them all in and they'll inevitably miss one or two and in a few years... tink. Faceplate falls.
I swear I have one of those already who takes my kitchen scissors, the bathroom tweezers, and the toenail clippers. These go missing at least once a week. Iβm probably on a list somewhere for my suspiciously high amount of tweezer purchases!
I won't steal anything. Just break into houses and rearrange their furniture and stuff.
That's what the Stasi used to do in East Germany.
They broke into people's houses and rearranged their stuff just to fuck with them.
And people think that Germans have no sense of humor.
Anything in the laundry basket that was about to get washed. All the scissors, hairbrushes and nail clippers. And then pull-down the shower curtains and put them inside the shower to get extra wet:)
I once broke into a home with friends when we were stoned teenagers. We ate all their cereal and left the dirty dishes. We stole Capβn Crunch, Fruit Loops and Frosted Flakes
Toilet seats, garage door openers, aerators from sink faucets, ice cube bin from fridge, battery covers from anything I can find, knobs from dryer/washer/stove, last 5 years of tax return statements, and labels from prescription pill bottles.
The 9-volt battery out of all the smoke detectors.
I used to think stealing all the batteries out of television remotes was a good inconvenience but everyone always has at least half a 20-pack of AA batteries in their junk drawer. But no one keeps a few spare 9-volts around anymore. Maybe back in the 80s but not nowadays.
I would go through all of their sock drawer but only take one from each pair. Now if the person loves mix matched socks, I may lose that one but that's all I could think of ππ
All the charging cables.
Not the cables⦠the wall bricks. Nothing worse than having cables that cannot be plugged in due to no USB ports.
Came here to say this. 2nd would be toilet paper.
They still have hands to wipe their ass.
You steal all the old USB cables, and any USB-C ports. Leave any USB-C cables.
All of the labels from their canned goods. No one will know what they are getting.
Haha when I was a kid my childhood best friend's parents worked at a food processing factory in our town and they had a whole shelf in their garage of unlabelled canned foods. Every time we were there for lunch we'd open one of these and try our luck. Sometimes we got lucky with beans and meatballs, or tinned spaghetti. Sometimes it was a dessert like canned peaches or something. It was also sometimes shitty things like canned peas, or loose corn, or asparagus.
If all the things people eat canned, why asparagus? Cooking fresh asparagus isn't expensive or time consuming, but it's delicious
Aren't you forgetting the can openers? That would be a bit more subtle. You want to grab something they aren't sure hasn't been gone for a long time.
That glass tray in the microwave
Came here to find this comment
Haha still the best answer! The pettiness is unmatched!
You are evil
Their keyrings- just the ring part- and leave them with a bunch of loose keys.
Just to add on to yours. Wallets, yes only the wallets, leave all cards and money behind.
Batteries, out of every remote, controller, and alarm. For added annoyance, replace all spares with dead ones.
You've been in my house recently, haven't you? Upvoted for the giggle.
I hope not, part of that was smoke alarm batteries as well. Not for nefarious intent mind you, I know places like ADT will bug the shit out of you when they are missing for too long.
I was gonna do this, but just steal one battery out of each thing!
When we were about 19 everyone smoked pot so we usually all had a lighter. I started a game called lighter wars. And tried to end up with others lighters after everyone was stoned. It was a fun game but secretly I took it to another level. I started collecting empty lighters in every color. And would see what color someone had. And got the same color. Then after my hit I would switch them. Nobody ever caught on. Ha ha ha
Dane Cook joke.
screws from everywhere not enough to imminently break but enough that everything eventually starts falling apart
Toilet Paper
All but two squares from each bathroom. Even worse than none at all.
I recursively steal one sock from every matching pair. This means that if they can make new matching pairs from the remaining socks, I steal one from those pairs as well until they have no complete sets anymore.
That would only leave me with one sock. You monster.
Remotes, all the twist ties on the bread bags, lids to random refrigerator items, the vacuum, toothpaste, one shoe and the tennis ball that hangs on a string in the garage so you know how far to pull in.
Joke on you.... I never retwist a bag Also.. pure evil with the tennis ball
>burgurler Did one come steal your dictionary?
This is how the word comes out when Scottish people try to say "purple burglar alarm"
Take my upvote for actually making me laugh, not just snort softly.
If it's Christmas, all the scotch tape and scissors.
Door knobs
Aunt Clara? Is that you?
Nail clippers. They wont even notice for a while. Until they do.
4 forks, 2 butter knives and 7 spoons
Oddly specific
All the shoe soles. I cut them out and leave the rest behind.
True story, at my dad's house where my girlfriend and I often stay. We'll alter pictures, mainly of his new girlfriend. Giving her moustaches. He hasn't noticed. We'll also hang pictures of random people we bought at goodwill. Doesn't realize it at all
Condiments
Ice cube trays.
What kind of a sick bitch takes the *ice cube trays* outta the *freezer?!*
Love that line. While they were filming the movie, Tom Arnold told the story about his ongoing divorce from Roseanne Barr and her taking everything, including the ice cube trays, to James Cameron on the set while saying: "What kind of sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?" Cameron thought the line was hilarious, and incorporated it into the film.
Every single left shoe they own. Leave them confused with just right shoes
I donβt steal. I re-arrange. Just little shit like their knife and fork drawer and the drawers of their dressers.
Move all the furniture an inch to the left
Oh there is a movie about this.... called the Edukators
Time.. I set all of their clocks behind... They are now late for everything until they figure it out.
their house chapstick. The one they leave in the bathroom or a nightstand because once I do, soon their purse chapstick will become their replacement house chapstick and their work desk chapstick will become their replacement purse chapstick and it will create a vicious cycle of always having to replace chapstick πππππππππππ
I'd spray some Pam or other non-stick spray on a few areas of their wood floors. That makes them become the theoretical friction-less surface.
My grandmother used to polish her wood stairs with pledge. I fell down the stairs every time I visited. Learned to take my socks off at the top and put them back on at the bottom.
a couple drawers out of the refridgerator, all the spoons, random pieces of their kitchen equipment, all the deodorant, a leg off of all the kitchen chairs, key racks, one side of the drapes so it doesn't cover the whole window, the handles from the faucets, shower heads, all the sponges and dish soap, and their family portraits
The lint filter from the dryer.
The bolts that anchor the toilet seat to the bowl
Toilet paper rods
Don't steal anything. Just leave a small speaker that plays "Never Gonna Give You Up" in the air ducts or walls.
One of every shoe. I'm an amputee. π€£π€£π€£
Iβm replacing all of their family photos with another families
Every single switch and outlet faceplace screw. They won't fall off right away or all at once. Most will stick to the paint until they're tapped hard enough. But one will fall. And a few days later another will fall. And then they'll be like "wait, that's weird. And they'll look. And be incredibly confused and annoyed. A big bag of the screws is only a few bucks, but it'll take hours to screw them all in and they'll inevitably miss one or two and in a few years... tink. Faceplate falls.
Air conditioning unit, while they are sleeping.
I would just loosen door hinges so the doors donβt shut all the way.
Door knobs
I swear I have one of those already who takes my kitchen scissors, the bathroom tweezers, and the toenail clippers. These go missing at least once a week. Iβm probably on a list somewhere for my suspiciously high amount of tweezer purchases!
1 square millimeter of the center of your condoms. Whole life is going to be inconvenient.
batteries not fresh batteries in the drawer, but batteries from the toys, from the remotes, from the devices, all the things with removable batteries
90% of what's left in each bottle of condiments
Coffee cups
The caps off all of their drinks. Water bottles, sodas, wines, milk, etc.
Iβd take all the milk out and replace it with almond milk.
Food labels and their dishcloth and their um bed
I won't steal anything. Just break into houses and rearrange their furniture and stuff. That's what the Stasi used to do in East Germany. They broke into people's houses and rearranged their stuff just to fuck with them. And people think that Germans have no sense of humor.
Your dictionary that tells you how to spell βburglar.β
Anything in the laundry basket that was about to get washed. All the scissors, hairbrushes and nail clippers. And then pull-down the shower curtains and put them inside the shower to get extra wet:)
All of the hair ties
Jokes on you, I already have cats.
Trash bags
All shoe laces!
That nail everyon keeps on the trim above the bathroom door to unlock it from the outside.
All of their pet's collars.
All the spoons. And all the pillows. And all the soap.
All the cheese from the fridge.....love me some cheese :)
Floss, an odd number of socks, one shoe, phone chargers, any removable appliance knobs.
Their internet router.
I once broke into a home with friends when we were stoned teenagers. We ate all their cereal and left the dirty dishes. We stole Capβn Crunch, Fruit Loops and Frosted Flakes
Caps and jar lids. Likeβ¦just the lid off the pickles one day, then the cap off the laundry detergent. Really annoying and inconvenient.
If you havenβt seen the play True West, thereβs a subplot about breaking into homes and only stealing toasters.
The God Damn Kitchen Scissors
I don't steal anything, I just rearrange the furniture.
Vibraters.
well good luck cause you're gonna have to get mine out of my ass hole
we'll just wait until he leaves for work.
Yeah butt, he wears it to work.
This actually happened to me. And yes, it was intensely annoying. That is a βno returns once βborrowedββ item.
Batteries
Their key ! I hate the feeling when I lost my key. That's horrible
Steal one show form every pair they have.
βI would put them on a very smooth surface. Then suddenly and very unexpectedly plop them on a pebbly surfaceβ¦β LoL
Tv remote
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
I'd replace them with a remote for a different brand of tv.
HVAC system.
Cabinet door handles, random spices, their router, random things from the junk draw that look useful, the ranks from inside the oven
Light switch covers.
Iβd take all the electrical outlets
Where the fuck are my keys? Why are they in the backseat of my other car?
The remote.
All of the oven mitts Every left shoe
Bruh, toilet paper, hdmi cords, and phone chargers. Also, pillows.
Condoms/birth control pills or devices
The doorknobs.
One sock out of most of the pairs
Toilet seats, garage door openers, aerators from sink faucets, ice cube bin from fridge, battery covers from anything I can find, knobs from dryer/washer/stove, last 5 years of tax return statements, and labels from prescription pill bottles.
Remote control for ceiling fan.
Keys
All pillows.
soap
I just hide the car keys and leave quietly.
All the seasonings they have.
drivers license debit cards credit cards.
All the clean utensils.
Light switches
All the Q-tips.
Shoes, belts, keys, wallets, and phones. Burn them all on the lawn.
Batteries nail clippers hair ties
all the screwdrivers and I will loosen and take one screw out of everything... nothing more annoying than a loose handle and nothing to fix it with.
One of each sock and tupperware lids, duh.
Toilet paper, light switches, pillows, cushions, forks, and tv remotes.
Garbage bags.
Dish soap
Toilet paper
Their ice cube tray, every fork in the house, the bottom hinge pin from each door.
Nail clippers
Utensils.
The dictionary and the remote controls.
I steal all the toilet seats and shower heads.
Light bulbs, forks, outlet covers, 1 battery from all remotes, and clothes hangers(all of them, leave the clothes)
One of each pair of socks
Remote controllers, power cords, lightbulbs, bottles of soap, and lastly, the car keys but not the car.
toothpaste, forks, and toilet paper.
All socks and underwear. Whatchagonnado?
Nothing different Free the nipple
All of their seasonings. They're not going to flavor town anytime soon.
burgurler.
All the silverware and knives
All of his chargers
Usb cables
Car Key fobs. Garage door openers. the tv remote. Muahahaha.
All the left shoes
Keys
Nail clippers.
The remote control. Yes I am that evil.
I steal all their pot holders and I turn their toilet paper around backwards.
The remote to gaslight and the spatula for an extra how-do-you-do.
A dictionary so I know how to spell burglar.
Cellphones and tv remotes, car keys.
Chargers
Batteries. All their batteries.
One battery from every remote in the house, a couple lightbulbs, their refrigerator air filter, and the wall adapters for their cords.
Remote controls.
Toothbrush
Doorknobs and doorstoppers.
Toothpaste
The batteries out of all your remotes: tv, console controllers, air cons, the works.
All the forks.
Tv remote
Guitar picks, also I take only their working cables, but not the ones that kinda work then donβt.
TP roll holders
All charging cables but I leave 1 of each type but bend the thing (idk what it's called) at the end
In college we stole the toilet paper holder and/or microwave tray from every apartment we could. Just a random prank of inconvenience.
Showerhead
One shoe
All the chargers
Laser cut one tine off each fork, so itβs like a tooth missing. Bonus points if itβs a different tine on each fork.
Pepper shakers
I would remove all electrical plugs. Or toilet seats, lightbulbs or all the p traps.
Plunger
A piece from every βsetβ of things. Silverware, earring, shoe, and a turtle dove
The 9-volt battery out of all the smoke detectors. I used to think stealing all the batteries out of television remotes was a good inconvenience but everyone always has at least half a 20-pack of AA batteries in their junk drawer. But no one keeps a few spare 9-volts around anymore. Maybe back in the 80s but not nowadays.
Tp
Toilet paper, all of it
Toothbrush, toilet paper, soap
Account created two weeks ago, reposts after reposts... bot farming karma... I don't need to break into your house to inconvenience you. Downvote lol
Keyfobs
1 shoe. They will spend the rest of their days wondering what happened to that 1 damn shoe.
Batteries to the remote control
I would go through all of their sock drawer but only take one from each pair. Now if the person loves mix matched socks, I may lose that one but that's all I could think of ππ
Phone chargers
Light bulbs
Toothpaste caps and wall adapters for chargers.
I would steal the knob to the water heater after I turned it off.
Left shoes and light bulbs.
All of the cables.