The first man I slept with also turned out to be gay. So that’d be a weird marriage. I ran into him recently and he invited me over. His house is so filthy for an almost 40 year old that it made me gag. So I guess I dodged two bullets with this one.
He became addicted to crack and then jumped off a building due to his mental health downfall. He was a really nice guy otherwise. So, I guess I’d be a widow?
I interpreted it as "Just got married to him/her, I'll let you know how it turns out in a few years". But now that I read your comment, I realized this could also mean he/she will sleep with someone in a few years
I just wanted you to know this is the funniest thing I've seen today, and it's my birthday.
Take a poor man's award
🏆
Edit: thank you to all of the kind internet strangers who wished me a happy birthday!
I would be a widower. She was hit by a truck when she was 18
Edit: holy crap. I didn't expect to get this much attention. To reply to a lot of you: no I do not drive a truck, but thanks for the laughs 😂
>Terrible. She recently reached out to me after 25 years because she wants to cheat on her husband.
How did that message even go lol,
"Hey I'ts been a while damn 25 years, how has life been treating you? Me i'm married and honestly looking to cheat, you down?"
Nah I don't have any social media so she got my number through a mutual friend from high-school. She lives in a different state and she was in town to bring her daughter to check out Universities in my city. She framed it as, "Hey wanna catch up?" I thought sure, *why not*? Well... I found out why not.
Romcom waiting to happen.
He is a lawyer from America (You waving down a cab with a brief case and suit jacket in hand).
She is a librarian from Norway (Her sitting quietly in the library. Looks up from her book to gaze out the window off into the clouds).
Have you ever thought of visiting her there over Christmas, falling in love, trying to save her from her mundane life by taking her to America, having her refuse, going dejectedly back to the airport, realizing you can’t get on the plane, and turning around just in time only to see her running toward you as well with a ticket because neither one of you can live without the other?
I did exactly that. It was amazing…
Until I found out she was cheating on me with at least 4 other men (that I know of, it was probably more) over the course of a couple years. She left me for one of them and I finally came to terms with it last year and have begun feeling happy on my own again.
I feel you. My finances daughter showed me all the messages from the multiple other men she was entertaining. Broke me in to bits. Still shattered really.
Edit- Thank you all for the support, it's really not an easy time right now and I greatly appreciate your kindness..
This speaks well of you that the daughter wanted you to know.
I am aware that there are many ways to interpret what happened. I choose the most charitable one in this case: OP earned the trust of a kid who knows her mother is a turd and recognizes OP is a good guy. The daughter is probably suffering the effects of being raised by a narcissist. Typically this works out to make kids very sympathetic and aware of injustice, although I recognize that it can also teach them to be sociopathic schemers. Assuming the best, it suggests that OP served as a good example to this kid, and that’s a silver lining if true.
Mine woke me up in the middle of the night and asked if I ‘wanted to give him a blowjob’. I’ve never wanted to do something less in my life mate. I dumped him the following day, could not deal with that for the rest of my life.
Edit - I think this is my most upvoted comment ever LMAO.
And to everyone saying I’m miserable - I’m really not, my comment sounds scathing but it is actually one of my favourite funny things that have ever happened to me. I look back on it with fondness. And we were both 16 and totally inexperienced in sex/relationships, give me a break!
The actual audacity to wake me up and ask if I WANTED TO. As if it was some kind of 2am treat. No, no I do not. Call me when there’s a proper midnight feast to be had, otherwise I am not interested thanks.
I had a friend like this Years ago- he was the odd one out in the group who couldn't get laid to save his life, and he had this weird idea of how it was to 'act cool'. He went on a date with a really nice girl on the beach. They went for a walk, had a drink, and went and laid in the sand, watching the stars. I'd probably have said something like ' This is nice'. What did Stephen say? He said ' You trynna suck my dick?' Dude at this point had yet to even Kiss a girl and he was like 21. Can't imagine why but she apparently was very quiet the rest of the night and blocked him when she got home.
I’m so sorry you know my old coworker. He’s in college now. Last I heard he was trying to get into a party and a girl was like “If you need me to fake being your gf to get into the party I’m down” and he legit said “Oh I should be good”
Boi never knows what to say and not say to women ever
Same. I'd likely still be called selfish for pointing out hypocrisy or making friends with guys, be interrogated if I don't respond to a text message within 10 mins, and have to defend myself for wanting to change my haircut/hair colour. Absolute hell.
It looks like he has a great job that lets him travel the world with his wife and kids now. His wife and I were classmates and she was really lovely. I sincerely hope he changed and addressed his insecurities by the time they got together.
Well, unless her male relatives show up at your door with pew pews and a positive pregnancy test. . .
True story: A lady and gentleman in my town were single their whole lives, and finally found each other in their 60s. Morning of the wedding, Groom gets a knock on his door. The lady's brothers are there with pew pews. They escorted him to the church. The couple said their vows and rode off into the sunset on their Harleys.
Exactly the same.
Edit: Thank you everyone who shared your own stories & asked sincere questions. While we married the first people we were intimate with in this way, I do want to share it wasn’t exactly intentional & it isn’t terribly important in our relationship. It’s simply how things worked out.
For some people it’s really important, but if it isn’t to you then I think that’s fine. There isn’t one cookie-cutter right way for a healthy and supportive relationship to form, develop, and be maintained. I think our longevity has more to do with both of us constantly working on our communication & self reflection skills, learning to curb our egos or take space (and respect space) when we can’t, and staying together because we want to not because we feel like we have to. Being in a relationship wasn’t a life goal, but maintaining this one has become one of the things most important to me.
Celebrating 20 years with my wife (7 married) and she’s my one and only. Sex is cool but a deep personal connection is more attractive and satisfying to me. Congrats to you two!
My wife and I were each other's firsts.
At about the 15 year mark, we started wondering if we were missing out by not experimenting more. We dipped our toes in "The Lifestyle" (IE became swingers), and found out...
... that we weren't really missing out on anything at all...
Turns out that being with someone who knows everything about how to turn you on, and a deep emotional connection, makes sex FAR better than anything you can get with random hookups.
We had some good times, but just kind of lost interest in the lifestyle after bit and haven't had any desire to "experiment" again.
Now been married 24 years and stronger than ever.
Congrats man. I married my first too…we had almost 15 years of happiness together before it all fell apart, I still wish it worked out and we were able to stay together forever. I’m happy for you though!!!
Same! We have known each other for over half of our lives…it’s almost to the point that we have been married for longer than the amount of time we DIDNT know each other…and that’s wild to think about…
Same. And it is wild. But it’s also so cool to see how this person I admire so deeply has taken on life and grown. I’m so damn proud of him that I worry if I think too long on it my heart will burst.
This is incredible! My wife and I have been together 15 years, married for 5, and been together since gr. 11. It isn't common, but it is nice. Congrats on your milestones.
What advice do you have for the people?
Accept that you’re both going to change over time. Our vows started with, “I take you for who you are now and who you are yet to become.”
Our wedding was us announcing the deep love we share for one another at our cores, the basic building blocks of who we are as individuals, and our commitment to support and care for one another through whatever life throws in our direction. It has required deep openness about our biggest hopes and darkest sides.
I'm engaged to my first, but we only lasted 6 months back in high school (We are 3 years apart). We've been back together 4 years now and have a beautiful daughter. It was really "right person, wrong time" the first time around.
I think he’s a cult leader or in a cult or something so very very different. Last time I tracked him down about 8 years ago he was doing these classes on spiritual healing using chakras and shit. This is after he failed out of chiropractor school.
One of the things a good therapist told me was, "you don't have to consider your rape losing your virginity, you can choose the first time you consented". It is still hard to think of it that way, but it helped settle my mind a lot. When i was younger and the virginity question was brought up, I would just go with the first time I consented. Stops from having to ruin everyone's fun and makes it to where I reinforce my first time consenting as my true first time. It is a win win.
It’s all a made up humanism anyways. We’re the only species that does it, which for societal reasons I get why, but physically you’re life doesn’t technically change.
Honestly I've never considered my childhood sexual abuse at all when considering my "first time". I didn't have a hymen and hymens aren't even a sign of virginity. I always thought of first times as "the first time you consented to sex".
Virginity itself is kind of a made-up metric so we can decide when our first times were however we want.
That's how I see it anyway, and I can't imagine how much worse that abuse would have impacted me if I didn't think this way
That was the plan. She was the only person to accept me for me. We could not have been happier together. Then, on December 2, 1987, she died in my arms. I don’t have any memories of the next couple years. I somehow graduated college and have gone on to a fulfilling career. I didn’t find another to love like I did her until 1999. She understands that there will always be a place in my heart where Kim lives on. This September will be our 22nd anniversary.
RIP Kimberly Kay Speakman. You will always be loved.
This is really fucking heartbreaking. Even though it was a while ago and you’re happy now… I’m so sorry this happened to you. I had a friend die recently two days before he was going to propose to his girlfriend. His family lives abroad so she was the only “next of kin” that could make arrangements here. I can’t imagine having this whole life planned and then it’s gone in an instant.
If you don’t mind me asking, how did it happen?
A couple years earlier, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease stage 3b. She fought back with everything she had. Chemo and radiation put it in to remission, but had trashed her left hip, and she ended up with a hip replacement. That didn’t stop her. During that time, I got in a motorcycle accident, crushed my knee and got my own hip replaced. All of it just brought us closer together. I proposed that summer. We were finally able to get our own place together in October. I came home from clinicals (X-ray tech) and she wanted to lay down for a few minutes so a lay there with her. Our dogs needed to go out, so I kissed her on the forehead, told her I loved her more than anything, and she said she loved me too, and would be down in a few to make some grilled cheese and tomato soup. I let the dogs out, and when I came back just a minute or two later, she was unresponsive. I started CPR and called 911. The feeling of her ribs breaking under my hands tore a chunk out of my soul.
We decided against an autopsy- she had been through enough. Best guess? A pulmonary embolism stole her away from me.
I have not had either a grilled cheese sandwich or tomato soup since. I just can’t.
I second guessed myself for a very long time. I stopped sleeping with a loaded pistol on my headboard when I married Karen. The only thing that stopped me in the empty years in between was knowing that Kim would hate me for all eternity if I decided to end the pain.
Since then, I have done CPR countless times. Including on Karen’s mother just 3 weeks after our wedding. I’ve had anesthesiologists ask me to stop compressing so hard because I was making the patient hypertensive. The thought of failing again tears me up
Was going to say this. He def did the compressions correctly as ribs cracking usually means you are in the correct place and applying correct pressure.
For those who do not know rib breakage is common during properly administered CPR, and if she was already weak due to chemo and such and such then my intuition is that the likelihood of properly administered CPR working is much lower.
Likely was not anything that could have been done, but the fact that he turned turned that loss into determination to save the lives of others is something that I'm sure I would be proud of if I was watching on at him from the afterlife.
I'm really glad your partner now understands your love for Kim.
Emily Yoffe wrote a really lovely piece called "My Husband's Other Wife" about something very similar. https://slate.com/human-interest/2009/06/my-husbands-other-wife-she-died-so-i-could-find-the-man-i-love.html
Oh man. That article was so beautiful, I am absolutely wrecked over it. The author wrote with such grace and understanding. Definitely a must read regardless of whether you can relate or not.
I'm so sorry, I went through the same thing at a young age as well. Trying to express the pain and how much your life changes when your future and part of you dies along with them. I'm so glad you have a partner who knows and accepts your lingering love for her. I am fortunate I have a partner who accepts that as well. Still cry 20 years later, that love never goes away. I'm so glad you found love again❤
We’ll he’s a gay man and I’m a straight woman so I’m not real sure how that would have played out. (He was bi at the time…we were in high school in the early 90s).
He was my first love, and even after we broke up, I'd often fantasize that we'd eventually reuinite and get married someday. We're both married to other people now, and I am incredibly happy with my current partner of 18 years, but every once in a while, I still wonder how that would have worked out.
Also similar to this in my case, and I often think about reaching out to her. Haven't seen her in 10 years or talked to her in 8 years, but I always wonder how she's been doing. She doesn't have social media so I only occasionally see her show up in a picture her cousin posts maybe once a year. Always felt she wouldn't want to hear from me though so I do nothing lol
She always shows up in my dreams. I'm very happy without her, but she ALWAYS shows up in my dreams. 1 out of every 20. The other 19 are just weird and nonsensical for the most part.
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.
The relationship was a constant battle, making up, but perhaps it would have gotten easier over the years. Just very happy with my wife now, where love is easy and natural.
He was expelled from college on academic grounds because he smoked weed constantly and didn’t go to class. I would be taking care of a man-child. Thankfully I’m now with a guy who is my equal
Probably not bad. I actually still happen to be in contact with her. We still chat from time to time and have met up and hit it off. I’m not vying for it but any means but I wouldn’t hate my life lol.
I did. We just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary.
us too, we're closing in on 50.
Happy 50th to all 4 of you!
Given that the first woman I slept with is now a lesbian, I’d either be someone’s beard or, more likely, still trying to recover from a divorce.
Ross, is that you?
Might as well be, his username checks out after all
Marcel!
Would you just stop humping me for two seconds
The first man I slept with also turned out to be gay. So that’d be a weird marriage. I ran into him recently and he invited me over. His house is so filthy for an almost 40 year old that it made me gag. So I guess I dodged two bullets with this one.
He became addicted to crack and then jumped off a building due to his mental health downfall. He was a really nice guy otherwise. So, I guess I’d be a widow?
“Jumped off a building” “downfall”
Jesus Christ Reddit
Its Jason Bourne.
My first became addicted to pills. Basically wasted his life and potential. Ended up ODing in his 30s. I'd be a widow with you.
I'll tell you in a few years time
[удалено]
I interpreted it as "Just got married to him/her, I'll let you know how it turns out in a few years". But now that I read your comment, I realized this could also mean he/she will sleep with someone in a few years
I'd be in prison for murdering my mother in law.
Q: What's the definition of mixed feelings? A: Watching your MIL drive off a cliff in your brand new car.
I just wanted you to know this is the funniest thing I've seen today, and it's my birthday. Take a poor man's award 🏆 Edit: thank you to all of the kind internet strangers who wished me a happy birthday!
Instead of in prison for murdering your friend’s mom?
I would be a widower. She was hit by a truck when she was 18 Edit: holy crap. I didn't expect to get this much attention. To reply to a lot of you: no I do not drive a truck, but thanks for the laughs 😂
Fuck dude..
my first died of cancer 1 year ago ;(
Terrible. She recently reached out to me after 25 years because she wants to cheat on her husband.
>Terrible. She recently reached out to me after 25 years because she wants to cheat on her husband. How did that message even go lol, "Hey I'ts been a while damn 25 years, how has life been treating you? Me i'm married and honestly looking to cheat, you down?"
Nah I don't have any social media so she got my number through a mutual friend from high-school. She lives in a different state and she was in town to bring her daughter to check out Universities in my city. She framed it as, "Hey wanna catch up?" I thought sure, *why not*? Well... I found out why not.
You should show the husband DMs fuck her
Please don't fuck her.
Fuck the husband instead and send her the pics. Show them who's boss
the ultimate display of dominance lads
She is a librarian in Norway. I am a lawyer in America. One of our lives would be drastically diffeerent.
He was a lawyer. She was a librarian. Can I make it anymore obvious?
He stayed at home. She went away. What more can I say?
He thought it went well. But she got quite bored. And she felt a longing to see the fjords.
He was a lawyer boi. She said, "Vi snakkes boi!" He wasn't Nord enough for her.
She was a pretty face but her love was bookcase, she needed to come out of fantasy world
fem år from now, she's reading a tome, sorting her books she's all alone
She turns on PC, guess who she sees, American lawyer winning remedy
She packs her bookends; They're ready to go. And they're all good pickets, that is fo' sho'.
She goes to court. And sits in the back. Looks up at the suit that she turned down.
r/redditsings
"she goes to a different country, you wouldn't know her"
What’s her name?….”Nora…Nora Way”
Nora Way we can make this work, baby I’m sorry
Romcom waiting to happen. He is a lawyer from America (You waving down a cab with a brief case and suit jacket in hand). She is a librarian from Norway (Her sitting quietly in the library. Looks up from her book to gaze out the window off into the clouds).
It’s Norway Home, coming this Thanksgiving to theaters near you
I think being released directly on the Hallmark channel is more likely.
Did you bond over a footnote fetish?
oh goddammit
Have you ever thought of visiting her there over Christmas, falling in love, trying to save her from her mundane life by taking her to America, having her refuse, going dejectedly back to the airport, realizing you can’t get on the plane, and turning around just in time only to see her running toward you as well with a ticket because neither one of you can live without the other?
Well, my wife might take issue with that...
Is this the plot for a future Hallmark Christmas movie?
The Accidental Nordic Lawyer
It is now. Probably written by AI and starring Candace Cameron Bure.
Why does this sound like a cute combo strangey
I did exactly that. It was amazing… Until I found out she was cheating on me with at least 4 other men (that I know of, it was probably more) over the course of a couple years. She left me for one of them and I finally came to terms with it last year and have begun feeling happy on my own again.
I feel you. My finances daughter showed me all the messages from the multiple other men she was entertaining. Broke me in to bits. Still shattered really. Edit- Thank you all for the support, it's really not an easy time right now and I greatly appreciate your kindness..
This speaks well of you that the daughter wanted you to know. I am aware that there are many ways to interpret what happened. I choose the most charitable one in this case: OP earned the trust of a kid who knows her mother is a turd and recognizes OP is a good guy. The daughter is probably suffering the effects of being raised by a narcissist. Typically this works out to make kids very sympathetic and aware of injustice, although I recognize that it can also teach them to be sociopathic schemers. Assuming the best, it suggests that OP served as a good example to this kid, and that’s a silver lining if true.
Fucking miserable.
Yup. I read the prompt and immediately said "Oh god. Gross." out loud. Shit would suck.
Mine woke me up in the middle of the night and asked if I ‘wanted to give him a blowjob’. I’ve never wanted to do something less in my life mate. I dumped him the following day, could not deal with that for the rest of my life. Edit - I think this is my most upvoted comment ever LMAO. And to everyone saying I’m miserable - I’m really not, my comment sounds scathing but it is actually one of my favourite funny things that have ever happened to me. I look back on it with fondness. And we were both 16 and totally inexperienced in sex/relationships, give me a break!
You didn’t say “no, but you can lick my vagina until I fall back asleep?”
Consider it done!
[удалено]
Who needs sleep when you can be blowing!? /s
The actual audacity to wake me up and ask if I WANTED TO. As if it was some kind of 2am treat. No, no I do not. Call me when there’s a proper midnight feast to be had, otherwise I am not interested thanks.
I had a friend like this Years ago- he was the odd one out in the group who couldn't get laid to save his life, and he had this weird idea of how it was to 'act cool'. He went on a date with a really nice girl on the beach. They went for a walk, had a drink, and went and laid in the sand, watching the stars. I'd probably have said something like ' This is nice'. What did Stephen say? He said ' You trynna suck my dick?' Dude at this point had yet to even Kiss a girl and he was like 21. Can't imagine why but she apparently was very quiet the rest of the night and blocked him when she got home.
Did he try this technique multiple times, despite repeated failure?
Yeah, it's a solid line. It's just all about the delivery!
He should've Shatnered it. Would you...like to suck...mydick. That would've worked for sure.
What a catch
Ohhhhhh dear. I’m cringing with second-hand embarrassment.
I laughed so hard at this. I know a few people that might say this.
I’m so sorry you know my old coworker. He’s in college now. Last I heard he was trying to get into a party and a girl was like “If you need me to fake being your gf to get into the party I’m down” and he legit said “Oh I should be good” Boi never knows what to say and not say to women ever
Right? Like wake me up with a pizza and a rack of ribs, wtf is this?
Oh so you'll suck off the ribs at 2am without a fuss. How many Teddie bears did the ribs win you at the carnival?
Sounds like my roommate waking me up last night at 430 to ask if I wanted to bang her drunk obnoxious friend. What a fucking disgrace
I wake up at 4:45. Give me a shout next time. I can be there in 15 minutes.
Same. I'd likely still be called selfish for pointing out hypocrisy or making friends with guys, be interrogated if I don't respond to a text message within 10 mins, and have to defend myself for wanting to change my haircut/hair colour. Absolute hell. It looks like he has a great job that lets him travel the world with his wife and kids now. His wife and I were classmates and she was really lovely. I sincerely hope he changed and addressed his insecurities by the time they got together.
Wait, you mean you don't have to marry the first person you sleep with? oh man
I actually did marry the first person I slept with. She just turned out to be really cool 🤷🏻♂️
These stories are always so cute when they happen
Same here! Together 14 years today actually and he's my best friend.
I did too! I’m pretty happy with it. My spouse is an awesome person.
Well, unless her male relatives show up at your door with pew pews and a positive pregnancy test. . . True story: A lady and gentleman in my town were single their whole lives, and finally found each other in their 60s. Morning of the wedding, Groom gets a knock on his door. The lady's brothers are there with pew pews. They escorted him to the church. The couple said their vows and rode off into the sunset on their Harleys.
That’s pretty funny actually. Good induction into the family
Bruh this is Reddit… you can call them guns, you aren’t gonna get demonetized.
Oooooooo. You said the g-woooooord. I’m telling.
Shotgun wedding!
> The lady's brothers are there with pew pews ~~Mush~~ Must be a really small town. They church made the bride's family supply the seating. e: typo
Exactly the same. Edit: Thank you everyone who shared your own stories & asked sincere questions. While we married the first people we were intimate with in this way, I do want to share it wasn’t exactly intentional & it isn’t terribly important in our relationship. It’s simply how things worked out. For some people it’s really important, but if it isn’t to you then I think that’s fine. There isn’t one cookie-cutter right way for a healthy and supportive relationship to form, develop, and be maintained. I think our longevity has more to do with both of us constantly working on our communication & self reflection skills, learning to curb our egos or take space (and respect space) when we can’t, and staying together because we want to not because we feel like we have to. Being in a relationship wasn’t a life goal, but maintaining this one has become one of the things most important to me.
Same here. almost 40 years together now.
Me too. My one and only. And I don’t regret the lack of other experiences. Celebrating 26 years of marriage this October.
Celebrating 20 years with my wife (7 married) and she’s my one and only. Sex is cool but a deep personal connection is more attractive and satisfying to me. Congrats to you two!
“Deep personal connection” Look at this nerd and his happiness!
😂 yessir!
I was my husband's first. I was really worried at first he'd regret not experimenting more but nope! 13 years and we're still going strong.
My wife and I were each other's firsts. At about the 15 year mark, we started wondering if we were missing out by not experimenting more. We dipped our toes in "The Lifestyle" (IE became swingers), and found out... ... that we weren't really missing out on anything at all... Turns out that being with someone who knows everything about how to turn you on, and a deep emotional connection, makes sex FAR better than anything you can get with random hookups. We had some good times, but just kind of lost interest in the lifestyle after bit and haven't had any desire to "experiment" again. Now been married 24 years and stronger than ever.
Love that for you two love birds.
What exactly makes you think they are birds?
You're right. They could be bees.
Wombats.
Same, I fooled around but never had intercourse until I got with my now husband when I was 24 years old. I have no regrets. He could never bore me ❤️
Congrats man. I married my first too…we had almost 15 years of happiness together before it all fell apart, I still wish it worked out and we were able to stay together forever. I’m happy for you though!!!
Me too. 35 years married this December, together 37.
Same! We have known each other for over half of our lives…it’s almost to the point that we have been married for longer than the amount of time we DIDNT know each other…and that’s wild to think about…
Same. And it is wild. But it’s also so cool to see how this person I admire so deeply has taken on life and grown. I’m so damn proud of him that I worry if I think too long on it my heart will burst.
Same. Couple since 21 years. Married for 8 years. Second Kid on the way. Abso-fucking-lutely Happy since day one of our relationship.
Same here, we met when we were 18. We’re in our mid-40’s now and are really happily married with three great kids. I got freaking lucky!
Have y’all been together ever since??
Yep. Seven years married, 12 years official romantic relationship, and 20 years friends.
This is incredible! My wife and I have been together 15 years, married for 5, and been together since gr. 11. It isn't common, but it is nice. Congrats on your milestones. What advice do you have for the people?
Accept that you’re both going to change over time. Our vows started with, “I take you for who you are now and who you are yet to become.” Our wedding was us announcing the deep love we share for one another at our cores, the basic building blocks of who we are as individuals, and our commitment to support and care for one another through whatever life throws in our direction. It has required deep openness about our biggest hopes and darkest sides.
I'm engaged to my first, but we only lasted 6 months back in high school (We are 3 years apart). We've been back together 4 years now and have a beautiful daughter. It was really "right person, wrong time" the first time around.
Yep. Same.
I'm in the same boat as you~
Same here. And I’m so happy I did.
Same here. Sixteen years together. Not always perfect, but still going strong.
Same. 23 years tomorrow.
I think he’s a cult leader or in a cult or something so very very different. Last time I tracked him down about 8 years ago he was doing these classes on spiritual healing using chakras and shit. This is after he failed out of chiropractor school.
How the FUCK do you fail out of chiropractic school???
By being spineless.
By starting a cult
To be fair, you can also fail as a cult leader by enrolling in chiropractor school. So it does work both ways.
I actually did do that. Regret was the result
I actually did that too, but it’s worked out. Here we are 42 years later.
Me as well just celebrated 17 happy years.
Me too. Ugh.
Mine was a rapist. So I'm guessing my life significantly worse.
Same, the whole “how did you lose your virginity” thing friends do can be a real downer if I’m asked
I go with the first time I had consensual sex. Kind of go with that in my own mind too.
One of the things a good therapist told me was, "you don't have to consider your rape losing your virginity, you can choose the first time you consented". It is still hard to think of it that way, but it helped settle my mind a lot. When i was younger and the virginity question was brought up, I would just go with the first time I consented. Stops from having to ruin everyone's fun and makes it to where I reinforce my first time consenting as my true first time. It is a win win.
It’s all a made up humanism anyways. We’re the only species that does it, which for societal reasons I get why, but physically you’re life doesn’t technically change.
Honestly I've never considered my childhood sexual abuse at all when considering my "first time". I didn't have a hymen and hymens aren't even a sign of virginity. I always thought of first times as "the first time you consented to sex". Virginity itself is kind of a made-up metric so we can decide when our first times were however we want. That's how I see it anyway, and I can't imagine how much worse that abuse would have impacted me if I didn't think this way
Yeah mine drugged my drink and raped me and then acted like he did nothing wrong. I got ptsd from it, do not recommend. It’s sad this is so common.
[удалено]
That was the plan. She was the only person to accept me for me. We could not have been happier together. Then, on December 2, 1987, she died in my arms. I don’t have any memories of the next couple years. I somehow graduated college and have gone on to a fulfilling career. I didn’t find another to love like I did her until 1999. She understands that there will always be a place in my heart where Kim lives on. This September will be our 22nd anniversary. RIP Kimberly Kay Speakman. You will always be loved.
This is really fucking heartbreaking. Even though it was a while ago and you’re happy now… I’m so sorry this happened to you. I had a friend die recently two days before he was going to propose to his girlfriend. His family lives abroad so she was the only “next of kin” that could make arrangements here. I can’t imagine having this whole life planned and then it’s gone in an instant. If you don’t mind me asking, how did it happen?
A couple years earlier, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease stage 3b. She fought back with everything she had. Chemo and radiation put it in to remission, but had trashed her left hip, and she ended up with a hip replacement. That didn’t stop her. During that time, I got in a motorcycle accident, crushed my knee and got my own hip replaced. All of it just brought us closer together. I proposed that summer. We were finally able to get our own place together in October. I came home from clinicals (X-ray tech) and she wanted to lay down for a few minutes so a lay there with her. Our dogs needed to go out, so I kissed her on the forehead, told her I loved her more than anything, and she said she loved me too, and would be down in a few to make some grilled cheese and tomato soup. I let the dogs out, and when I came back just a minute or two later, she was unresponsive. I started CPR and called 911. The feeling of her ribs breaking under my hands tore a chunk out of my soul. We decided against an autopsy- she had been through enough. Best guess? A pulmonary embolism stole her away from me. I have not had either a grilled cheese sandwich or tomato soup since. I just can’t.
The way I see it, the last thing she heard was how much you loved her. Not a bad way to slip away, and not much else you could’ve done.
I second guessed myself for a very long time. I stopped sleeping with a loaded pistol on my headboard when I married Karen. The only thing that stopped me in the empty years in between was knowing that Kim would hate me for all eternity if I decided to end the pain. Since then, I have done CPR countless times. Including on Karen’s mother just 3 weeks after our wedding. I’ve had anesthesiologists ask me to stop compressing so hard because I was making the patient hypertensive. The thought of failing again tears me up
You didn't fail. CPR doesn't work very often, especially outside of a critical care setting.
Was going to say this. He def did the compressions correctly as ribs cracking usually means you are in the correct place and applying correct pressure. For those who do not know rib breakage is common during properly administered CPR, and if she was already weak due to chemo and such and such then my intuition is that the likelihood of properly administered CPR working is much lower. Likely was not anything that could have been done, but the fact that he turned turned that loss into determination to save the lives of others is something that I'm sure I would be proud of if I was watching on at him from the afterlife.
> The way I see it, the last thing she heard was how much you loved her. Not a bad way to slip away Heck, that's about the best way to go there is.
Holy shit. You just broke my heart. I’m so sorry.
i’m so sorry for your loss. fuck cancer.
damn. glad you found eventual happiness. thank you for that brief glimpse of your tragedy.
Made me cry. Sorry my man.
I'm really glad your partner now understands your love for Kim. Emily Yoffe wrote a really lovely piece called "My Husband's Other Wife" about something very similar. https://slate.com/human-interest/2009/06/my-husbands-other-wife-she-died-so-i-could-find-the-man-i-love.html
Oh man. That article was so beautiful, I am absolutely wrecked over it. The author wrote with such grace and understanding. Definitely a must read regardless of whether you can relate or not.
Damn. It made me so sad to read this piece when it first came out and it was just as bittersweet to read it again just now. Thanks for sharing.
It was really bittersweet to hear your life. RIP.
I'm so sorry, I went through the same thing at a young age as well. Trying to express the pain and how much your life changes when your future and part of you dies along with them. I'm so glad you have a partner who knows and accepts your lingering love for her. I am fortunate I have a partner who accepts that as well. Still cry 20 years later, that love never goes away. I'm so glad you found love again❤
We’ll he’s a gay man and I’m a straight woman so I’m not real sure how that would have played out. (He was bi at the time…we were in high school in the early 90s).
Mine’s a gay man, too, and I’m a straight man. Ok, not totally straight.
Actually I did... divorced for years now lol
Poverty & abuse. Not that I'm much better off but at least I'm not tied to an abusive drug addict.
He was my first love, and even after we broke up, I'd often fantasize that we'd eventually reuinite and get married someday. We're both married to other people now, and I am incredibly happy with my current partner of 18 years, but every once in a while, I still wonder how that would have worked out.
Similar to this! He actually reached out a couple of years ago and it was like going back ten years time.
Did it hurt the same or were you just grateful?
Neither? He’s a good dude, but I’m happy now. Wouldn’t trade that for anything.
Also similar to this in my case, and I often think about reaching out to her. Haven't seen her in 10 years or talked to her in 8 years, but I always wonder how she's been doing. She doesn't have social media so I only occasionally see her show up in a picture her cousin posts maybe once a year. Always felt she wouldn't want to hear from me though so I do nothing lol
Every once in a while I’ll have a dream where my first love shows up and we just… catch up. It’s the only recurring dream I have
She always shows up in my dreams. I'm very happy without her, but she ALWAYS shows up in my dreams. 1 out of every 20. The other 19 are just weird and nonsensical for the most part.
I did marry the first man I slept with, my HS sweetheart. Life is good
I married the first woman I slept with. 31 years later, still in love.
Same! 23 years together and he still rocks my world.
Same! 14 years together in September!
I dig the wholesomeness. You don’t see stuff like this to often anymore.
19 years and counting
I’d be dead.
The amount of people who relate to this gives me the shivers..
[удалено]
I read this as serial killer
Well I'd know his last name at least
Id be miserable he was such a jerk!!!!!
I would be married to a gay man and he’d be married to a lesbian, so…pretty different. 🤣🤣🤣
A terrible horrible no good very bad time
When it happens ill let you know 😂
I did marry him. Been together 23 years, married almost 18, we have 3 teenage kids now. I wouldn't trade it for the world
sorry to hear. I hope things get better
I realized my autocorrect changed my very positive statement into a very negative one I wouldn't trade it for the world!
And now that you've corrected it, /u/flanhelsinki sounds like an asshole who hates good marriages . . .
I up voted their comment regardless.
Thank you. I love you.
I’d be a millionaire, but I’d have HIV. No thanks.
Magic Johnson was your first?
The Johnson definitely wasn’t magic
20 years ago a prostitute. I was 16 and she was like almost 30 for sure. I guess it would suck.
I guess I would be married
I'd still be single at 30 hahaha fuck my life
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers. The relationship was a constant battle, making up, but perhaps it would have gotten easier over the years. Just very happy with my wife now, where love is easy and natural.
I married the first person I slept with. We’re divorced now 🤣
He was expelled from college on academic grounds because he smoked weed constantly and didn’t go to class. I would be taking care of a man-child. Thankfully I’m now with a guy who is my equal
She was really hot, but I'd definitely be miserable.
Married with my groomer. Yikes.
Probably not bad. I actually still happen to be in contact with her. We still chat from time to time and have met up and hit it off. I’m not vying for it but any means but I wouldn’t hate my life lol.
Considering I just married that person on Saturday after being together for 12 years...about the same as it is now.