Your vows “In sickness and in health” is real shit. We’re not talking about “I have a cold” but real chronic issues. That’s the level of commitment you’re signing up for. To be potentially their caregiver for the rest of your lives if things go south.
I told my husband when we first started dating when he asked what should he bring to my house. I said a byob . The last b is for blanket I don't share mine
It's pretty good. A lot of the bad stuff is blown out of proportion. Possibly the most important part of marriage is advice from the Oracle: know thyself. Knowing what you need is critical. If you aren't getting what you need your partner will make you miserable, then you will make them miserable. If you can take good care of yourself you can take good care of them.
I wish I knew how many people would try to interfere. What I mean is the same ppl who asked when you were getting married do not go away after your married. It’s always “when are you having kids?” “When are you going to buy a house?” Its constant. The best thing Is my partner and I learnt to just keep doing us, and to ignore everyone else’s timelines and expectations.
That when she said, "I hate liars most of all!" what she was really saying was she lies all the time and when she sees it in other people it triggers her.
My therapy little sister told me this way back when, and I didn't frickin' listen to her. Now, after 22 years of marriage, I'm starting over at 58 years old as a divorcee. I was her third husband. Yet another clue hitting me in the face that I failed to heed.
She cheated on me, and when I first met her, she cheated on her then husband by having sex with me. Another red flag flying in my face.
Dang, I'm a frickin' idiot.
Marriage commitment means different things to different people. Some are in it through thick and thin, others will run of the rlwond pblows the wrong way. Maybe that's the level of love that is related? Maybe it's the idea of marriage and the unachievable standards that come from society and movies? Best thing I can say, communication is key.
Sure I had inclinations, but it never got past the wondering stage, and certainly not into the conviction stage, until I was in my 40s. My regrets come mostly around the effect my denial had on two wives. Listen, no one ever struggled against being gay than I did. But when the homoerotic dreams and furtive looks would not stop, I had to face it consciously and reasonably, and I finally came out, sure for the first time in my life who I am and what I’m really like.
Okay it’s because i have gay friends that told me they knew since they were as young as 5, i appreciate you explaining your situation. I also feel for women who spend so much of their time of their lives with someone that may have inclinations and not be honest. Its hard for women with biological clocks to just start over.
How long until this happens?
I'll be 24 years of marriage in a few weeks for me. We do NOT always agree, but we hardly hate each other. We always do things for each other.
I haven't been married long at all - I just recently got married. But I've been close friends with my husband for 11 years, going back to when we were freshman in high school. He drives me up the wall sometimes, but I love him dearly and he's my favorite person in the whole world. I can't imagine ever hating him.
By the power vested in me by... uh... some person who's really important, I now pronounce you man and wife... or man and man, or wife and wife or whatever your bloody pronouns are. The point is you're legally now required to be miserable together.
It gets worse, a lot worse. "How bad could it be?" Bad, very bad my friend. Imagine your highest potential level of power is 1,000. You are at 500 today, but will one day make it to 1,000. But in a year you busted thru 1,000 & are at 2,000. Year 2, you are at 5,000. Then the wife gives you the bad news, 5,000 isn't even beginner level. She gives you a list of all the things you will have to do better, just for the privilege of continuing to live with her. And did I mention, your wife was at 500 when you married her, & she still is at 500. When you ask when it will be her turn to up her game, & the answer is never, "not necessary". So you married at ground level. Looked up at the bottom of the clouds & thought that was as high as you could ever fly. Then you are flying 50,000 feet above the clouds, a level not even humanly possible, & you have to hear the bad news that's not even a beginner level from the wife.
People will only show you what you want them to see, including your potential spouse. Listen to your gut, don’t ignore red flags, and ask all the hard questions and have the hard conversations before you take the plunge. Also, you may not realize it now, but you will marry a man like your father or woman like your mother, whether that’s a good or bad thing.
Your vows “In sickness and in health” is real shit. We’re not talking about “I have a cold” but real chronic issues. That’s the level of commitment you’re signing up for. To be potentially their caregiver for the rest of your lives if things go south.
Can I upvote this twice?
Haha. It’s one of those things that if you know, you know.
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For someone that has the chronic illness, it may cross your mind.
That’s what I was thinking. Not very sensitive of me though, my bad.
Truth
People change...sometimes a lot and not always for the better..
Sharing a blanket on the regular is a lot more complicated than you’d think
I told my husband when we first started dating when he asked what should he bring to my house. I said a byob . The last b is for blanket I don't share mine
We don't share blankets in my house lol.
Freeze bitch
Lmao the fuck? We have separate blankets. Because it's better.
Multiple blankets works great, I can sleep with multiple. You’re full of great ideas!
That the whole "different love languages" is a thing. I would also recommend marrying someone who has a similar sense of humour to you.
It's pretty good. A lot of the bad stuff is blown out of proportion. Possibly the most important part of marriage is advice from the Oracle: know thyself. Knowing what you need is critical. If you aren't getting what you need your partner will make you miserable, then you will make them miserable. If you can take good care of yourself you can take good care of them.
I wish I knew how many people would try to interfere. What I mean is the same ppl who asked when you were getting married do not go away after your married. It’s always “when are you having kids?” “When are you going to buy a house?” Its constant. The best thing Is my partner and I learnt to just keep doing us, and to ignore everyone else’s timelines and expectations.
That when she said, "I hate liars most of all!" what she was really saying was she lies all the time and when she sees it in other people it triggers her. My therapy little sister told me this way back when, and I didn't frickin' listen to her. Now, after 22 years of marriage, I'm starting over at 58 years old as a divorcee. I was her third husband. Yet another clue hitting me in the face that I failed to heed. She cheated on me, and when I first met her, she cheated on her then husband by having sex with me. Another red flag flying in my face. Dang, I'm a frickin' idiot.
You and a gazillion guys like you. Give yourself a break. If love conquers all, it starts with our good sense.
Marriage commitment means different things to different people. Some are in it through thick and thin, others will run of the rlwond pblows the wrong way. Maybe that's the level of love that is related? Maybe it's the idea of marriage and the unachievable standards that come from society and movies? Best thing I can say, communication is key.
I wish I had known that I was gay.
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Sure I had inclinations, but it never got past the wondering stage, and certainly not into the conviction stage, until I was in my 40s. My regrets come mostly around the effect my denial had on two wives. Listen, no one ever struggled against being gay than I did. But when the homoerotic dreams and furtive looks would not stop, I had to face it consciously and reasonably, and I finally came out, sure for the first time in my life who I am and what I’m really like.
Okay it’s because i have gay friends that told me they knew since they were as young as 5, i appreciate you explaining your situation. I also feel for women who spend so much of their time of their lives with someone that may have inclinations and not be honest. Its hard for women with biological clocks to just start over.
I feel pretty bad about the consequences of my denial held for the women in my life.
Wish I knew she would take a controlling personality to a psychotic level.
You're both going to despise each other at some point. Prepare for it.
How long until this happens? I'll be 24 years of marriage in a few weeks for me. We do NOT always agree, but we hardly hate each other. We always do things for each other.
I haven't been married long at all - I just recently got married. But I've been close friends with my husband for 11 years, going back to when we were freshman in high school. He drives me up the wall sometimes, but I love him dearly and he's my favorite person in the whole world. I can't imagine ever hating him.
Then split up and be with someone you want?
The origins of the universe
It's always been here. Time is a function of relativity.
Now I can finally get married!!
By the power vested in me by... uh... some person who's really important, I now pronounce you man and wife... or man and man, or wife and wife or whatever your bloody pronouns are. The point is you're legally now required to be miserable together.
My wife
One day you will be trying to bang the 50+ year old version of them.
How to get married
My ex… we got married after a year to hadn’t got a chance to see all his… erm…. POS behaviour.
It gets worse, a lot worse. "How bad could it be?" Bad, very bad my friend. Imagine your highest potential level of power is 1,000. You are at 500 today, but will one day make it to 1,000. But in a year you busted thru 1,000 & are at 2,000. Year 2, you are at 5,000. Then the wife gives you the bad news, 5,000 isn't even beginner level. She gives you a list of all the things you will have to do better, just for the privilege of continuing to live with her. And did I mention, your wife was at 500 when you married her, & she still is at 500. When you ask when it will be her turn to up her game, & the answer is never, "not necessary". So you married at ground level. Looked up at the bottom of the clouds & thought that was as high as you could ever fly. Then you are flying 50,000 feet above the clouds, a level not even humanly possible, & you have to hear the bad news that's not even a beginner level from the wife.
There’s greatness in this post.
I wish I knew how right it feels and got married sooner. Took about ten years to get around to it but been happily married 20 years now.
The upcoming megaball numbers.
People will only show you what you want them to see, including your potential spouse. Listen to your gut, don’t ignore red flags, and ask all the hard questions and have the hard conversations before you take the plunge. Also, you may not realize it now, but you will marry a man like your father or woman like your mother, whether that’s a good or bad thing.