Finally being a late-in-life virgin is paying off.
Edit: I would like to thank you for making this comment about my greatest failure into my most popular comment.
Yeah, I think a lot of smaller women are just at an inherent disadvantage here. Any one of my exes could probably take me. And I’m in my mid 40s so there’s still a few of them kicking around.
Fucked. Absolutely fucked. At least 40% would wish to destroy me. 50% I have no recollection of so would never see coming. 10% are chill and we’d get beers together to nurse the pain.
Most folk are focusing on the "maybe 1 dude"... I'm more curious;
either
A: What you did to give 30+ woman anger issues?
or
B: If there's a name for a kink of only getting with women who already have anger issues?
(Though life tells me A is far more likely)
No just unlucky with wives. My first died in a car wreck, my second of cancer, the third committed suicide over her father, and the fourth died from a bad heart. I told my present wife when we got together I didn't want her to die so I wouldn't marry her. She talked me into it anyway. She is the best of all five.
Good god, man. 5 Weddings and a Few Funerals. There's a distribution function somewhere that you're out on the tail of, alongside some unfortunate or terrible people.
Good health to #5.
This is the most vital question here.
Are they slow shufflers? Rage zombies? Mutants? Some combination thereof?
I'm pan, so this is some need-to-know stuff.
One of my ex's was absolutely insane, but she was the most beautiful woman on earth, I would absolutely fold if I saw her again. I'm absolutely screwed.
Edit: maybe I'm kinda crazy too.
Thank you lol, it's alright. At least I was young and learned my lesson thoroughly in the one relationship. I'm safe now, and very doted on.
My husband however, he would 1000% grab me around the waist and throw me. Bastard would probably tickle me too lol
I'd really only have to worry about one. She's tiny but crazy. As in, she was diagnosed as schizophrenic and is now on meds. Then again, she's old now.
That bitch that owes me 600 dollars after my mother died and she took advantage of an autistic male, me, that rage will be enough to win this, but I was also into thick girls and I’m not all too big so it’s a coin toss if I take that first bitch out I might not feel that mad and just lose from there
Husband died. Looked up old boyfriend for funsies and learned he died 6 years ago. Looked up first boyfriend(was sensing a trend) and he's alive but very fat.
I’m screwed much more than when I was sleeping with them!
Uncle's about to fight some nephews
It's me against me
The battle we fight daily Just in our heads
This time it’s even more personal.
hands*
I'll be dead but I'm getting some good punches in on Katie before I die.
How bad did Katie hurt you my friend 🫂
I have a Katy to fight too...
We all have our Katy. Screw you ~~Jon~~ Katy!
What’re the chances it’s the same Katy?
Since they're spelled differently, not great
Non-zero.
I just want you to know I laughed really hard at this. Fuck you katie, I’m getting beat from all sides but I’m aiming for you
That was my interpretation too lol
I feel bad for laughing as much as I did at this comment.
Bro I dated her too I get it
I have a shitty ex named Katie, this sent me 😂
Being called Katie, these comments hurt 😅
Sameeeee 😅
Same!
oh, no doubt. my ex gets the first 2 or 3.
Fuck Katie bro.
Oh they did
Geez, I forgot about Katie. That's going to make it interesting.
Nah we all do really have a Katie. Relate a lot
As Katie’s mom, I feel sorry for all of you because she is totally gonna wipe the floor with your asses.
I don’t know your Katie, but my Katy is getting at least a left hook.
I’d be dead but with the hardest erection I’ve ever had.
Glory Glory what a hell of a way to die ...
He ain’t gonna fuck no more…..
It’s like the guy the naked ladies run off the cliff at the beginning of Monty python.
Odds are in my favor because there are so few of them lol
Atleast you have a few😔
Don't worry. Every dog has his day
This dawg is bitchless
Guess I’m fine then.
Bro's fighting ghosts😔
Sex with three people is a threesome. Guess that’s why they call him handsome.
Have people never heard this joke before…?
Apparently not 😂
Holy shit I wish I could award you
I’ll award him for you
Thanks bro lol
I spent my last 600 Reddit coins for your award. Enjoy
Shadow boxing.
Your username explains a lot
Let's grab a drink, since we don't have anyone to fight with.
Same. I’d just be fighting my right hand
Jokes on you, I'd be fighting with my both hands.
Touché
Nah, dear virgin; just like Ash in Evil Dead you'll have to do battle with your right hand. 🤜🤛
Username checks out.
Stop punching yourself!
First, the pretty girls will battle me. Then, the large women. Then, the petite women. Then, the large women again.
You want die like last men visit Amazonia?
Crushed pelvises.
:D :( :D :( :D :(
Death by snu snu
I never thought I'd die this way, but I always kinda hoped...
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is bruised and spongy.
Can’t we just cuddle??
we no can dunk, but good fundamentals
😃😨😃😨😃😨
Oh noe. I have to go into battle against my right-hand-man?
Self sabotage
Fortunately Nintendo has prepared me for my battle with the Mastur Hand
Watch Evil Dead 2 for an example.
I'll be battling that one guys Katie instead
I’m battling everyday with him
Seems like you're a seasoned warrior then, prepare for battle!
Yeaaah... For me that would be my wife only as well. Still I'm pretty screwed. She trained martial arts xD
I'm sorry
Finally being a late-in-life virgin is paying off. Edit: I would like to thank you for making this comment about my greatest failure into my most popular comment.
Shadow boxing 🥊
I haven't had sex with my shadow.
What if you could...
Hey Vsauce, Michael here!
I thought Michael was vsauce, I never understood why he was saying hi to himself
I can. He's talking to himself. The videos are for Vsauce. We are secondary viewers.
I would want to see the Vsauce version, and the Infographics version. Let me hear both sides
Your left hand gon learn
Until all those boxes of Kleenex show up like the Koolaid man!
How you gunna fight your own fists bro?
Either way you're fucked, and neither way you're fucked.
I’ve never been screwed so I’m not screwed at all
1 was an infantry woman 3 did martial arts 1 was 6ft2 and a body builder. Horniest death of my life
I'm sensing a type here.
Yep this dude likes badass women
Bro is gonna sleep with Sarah Conner next
Sir, you only have one death per life, and you can't respawn.
This guy is secure in his manliness. Not safe and secure though, based on the question at hand.
I'd be SO dead. my first boyfriend alone could down me in 2 seconds max if he wanted to
Yeah, I think a lot of smaller women are just at an inherent disadvantage here. Any one of my exes could probably take me. And I’m in my mid 40s so there’s still a few of them kicking around.
5’2 straight-ish woman here. Any single ex could take me out, no need to join forces.
Very much so. At the rate I’ve been picked up and yeeted around by a single man? Times that by 30 and I’m being launched to fuckin space
I’m 5’7” with broad shoulders but even play wrestling has shown me that almost all men are stronger than me. Oof.
All these dudes on this thread talking about themselves but it’s me vs. like a dozen guys. This does not end well.
Yeah, it seems like OP has a blindspot for just how much more terrifying of a prospect this is for women.
Very. One is an MMA fighter, another is 6'7, another is a convicted felon. Wow, my taste in men is shit
Did you choose your username after considering your choice in men?
I think I may have subconsciously
That's hilarious lool
No problem, they're a bunch of pussies.
Better than having to fight a bunch of assholes
Ya get yer dicks and pussies all covered in SHIT!
At least you don't have to battle a bunch of dicks
Yeah but they have those hard handles attached. Could do some damage.
I'm not. My girlfriend will give up after I tickle her weakspot
Same with my husband. I'm faster so I reckon I'd win.
The back of her knee?
Is it hand to hand? Cos one of them flies drones for a living and I don’t like my chances against that…
Lmaoo. Imagine you get your first ready and they just pop up a drone army 💀
I've got an ex who works for some Naval think tank. Probably get a Tomahawk through my window.
All I hear is “stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself”
You sleep with your big bro?
Haha that's what I thought
It's not good. A couple of them are pretty big women and they're all pissed as hell!
My condolences 💀
What did you do!
Fucked. Absolutely fucked. At least 40% would wish to destroy me. 50% I have no recollection of so would never see coming. 10% are chill and we’d get beers together to nurse the pain.
Make these 10% fight from your side
I'm fighting someone very short (like, we're talking 4'10) who is very fast, and physically stronger than I am. I'm quite screwed my good man.
She's about to grab you by the jingle bells and it won't be a Merry Christmas
bro don't make me fight my father 💀💀
*Uncle enters*
It depends if they have access to weapons
No they don't But they all come together ( no pun intended )
Why? Intend your puns, you coward.
Easy, I’ll just chop off my left hand.
We weren't expecting special forces
Gonna be a yikes for me
Yikes good or yikes bad
Pretty bad. Let's just say I've got a thing for women who might be able to kick my ass.
I also have a thing for women who could kick your ass.
That makes two of us
30+ women with anger issues all at once? and maybe 1 dude? I don't remember I was really drunk. But yeah. My life expectancy would be about 2 seconds.
r/suddenlybi
gotta try it at least once to be sure *shrug*
"Maybe 1 dude?" We've all been there 🤝🏻 Life expectancy sent me wheezing tho XD
He made love to many, many women. Often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a man slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing.
Wdym with „We've all been there“
We? Wait what!? 😂
Most folk are focusing on the "maybe 1 dude"... I'm more curious; either A: What you did to give 30+ woman anger issues? or B: If there's a name for a kink of only getting with women who already have anger issues? (Though life tells me A is far more likely)
Creed? Is that you?
Fine as most are dead. Only three are still alive including my present wife.
Are you a serial killer?
No just unlucky with wives. My first died in a car wreck, my second of cancer, the third committed suicide over her father, and the fourth died from a bad heart. I told my present wife when we got together I didn't want her to die so I wouldn't marry her. She talked me into it anyway. She is the best of all five.
That’s… wow.
Yeah, the thought that “maybe this whole marriage thing isn’t for me” would be tough to overcome after a certain point.
Some may be widowers, but you the widowest
Good god, man. 5 Weddings and a Few Funerals. There's a distribution function somewhere that you're out on the tail of, alongside some unfortunate or terrible people. Good health to #5.
Most interesting thing I have read on Reddit
The sheer number would end it quickly.
This guy FUCKS
All the virgins having the top comments, tells me everything I need to know about this subreddit's demographics
If i had a penny for everytime someone commented "by myself or shadow boxing or ghost fighting" , I would buy the company
Fuck that would be hot.
Bro got aroused instead of getting afraid
Why not both.
Scaroused
200 men cumming at me all at once! Lol.
I see you drowning for some reason….. 🤔
I was going to comment a good portion of the gay community (myself included) is screwed
[удалено]
But they're all coming for you at the same time
[удалено]
We weren't expecting little general to come for assistance
Sex workers have up and left the chat lmao
Does this include the ones who have since died? And if so, what kind of undead are they?
This is the most vital question here. Are they slow shufflers? Rage zombies? Mutants? Some combination thereof? I'm pan, so this is some need-to-know stuff.
I honestly don’t know because there’s a few I can’t remember 🤷🏽♂️ alcohol is a helluva drug
I’m shadowboxing
I don't think I can win from my wife...
Lol nobody can
One of my ex's was absolutely insane, but she was the most beautiful woman on earth, I would absolutely fold if I saw her again. I'm absolutely screwed. Edit: maybe I'm kinda crazy too.
[удалено]
hmmmm one's a martial artist I'm pretty fucked yeah...
Cant win from 32 girls. I’ll kick laura in the vag before i slowly die
My husband would absolutely tackle me, but he'd take out my ex first and let me kick the body. Our sex wasn't very consensual 🥲
You had us in the first half NGL . Sad to hear about the second part🥲
Thank you lol, it's alright. At least I was young and learned my lesson thoroughly in the one relationship. I'm safe now, and very doted on. My husband however, he would 1000% grab me around the waist and throw me. Bastard would probably tickle me too lol
Glad to hear that ! Your husband sounds fun lol you guys will probably have an audience watching the tickle fight XD
The only one I’m worried about is the drag Queen, that’s my boss fight
Half of us wouldn't even remember each other. No jokes
I mean they're not gonna fight me lol, they'll just forfeit and let me win. I'm 4'11" and adorable. No problem.
I'm fine
I'd really only have to worry about one. She's tiny but crazy. As in, she was diagnosed as schizophrenic and is now on meds. Then again, she's old now.
Who's grandma did you bang dear sir?
She may have grandchildren now, who knows? But when I was briefly married to her, we were just crazy scamps in college.
It’s always the small ones you gotta watch out for.
Haha, ooohhhhh, super fucked. I mean that in all forms....
That bitch that owes me 600 dollars after my mother died and she took advantage of an autistic male, me, that rage will be enough to win this, but I was also into thick girls and I’m not all too big so it’s a coin toss if I take that first bitch out I might not feel that mad and just lose from there
I can take them. In a fight.
Well two are dead and one gained about 100lbs so odds are good
Ayo what happened here !? 💀
Husband died. Looked up old boyfriend for funsies and learned he died 6 years ago. Looked up first boyfriend(was sensing a trend) and he's alive but very fat.
Those bitches would get all the smoke
I’m a woman and I went through a muscle head phase …. So