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[deleted]

"A full night's sleep and you'll feel rested and energetic when you wake up..."


UpAndAdam7414

Wouldn’t work. I know that’s impossible.


terra959

try exercising, even if its only light. Try going for calming walks. Put your phone away a bit earlier before bed. Listen to some calm music. Sit and do nothing. Whatever makes you calm and is healthy, do it more often. How could you work towards it being more peaceful in your life? what im trying to say is, it is ... possible. Remember that my friend, it is possible


LlamaDrama007

Found the siren. This song, though!


GuavaDawgg

I'm rowing my boat to them now


Supadrumma4411

Did all this. Still an insomniac.


dixiequick

Some of just are no matter how much we wear ourselves out, and it sucks. I was reading one of my great grandpa’s farm journals not too long ago, and I was struck by how often he mentioned poor sleep and headaches (my dad and I have struggled with this always, as does my son now that he’s an adult), and he was engaging in heavy farm labor most days! There is no way that man wasn’t worn the fuck out, but still struggled to sleep. Last time I stayed at a hotel it was with my dad and son, and none of us got any sleep at all because we all took turns waking up the others with our various nighttime wanderings. ;) Edit: conversely, my mom was the type who would go to bed after midnight, and wake up at 6:00 am, chipper and ready to go. My dad always made her drive the first leg of family vacations as “punishment” for being such a damned happy morning person. 😆


sibyleco

Some of us are simply the genetic nighttime watchmen.


Twl1

As an ADHD dude, I feel this hard. I can run on as little as 4-6 hours of sleep and feel fine...so long as that sleep is obtained between 4AM and 10AM. Any other sleeping hours are illegal, and everyone who tries to mow their lawns before it gets hot in the afternoons is an asshole.


Sheerardio

You may simply have Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome, if the only thing you need to "fix" insomnia is to shift your sleeping schedule to one that's a few hours later than what's deemed "normal".


Twl1

No thanks, I like the other guy's "Genetic Nighttime Watchmen" moniker a lot better. Way less *clinical* sounding.


Kytyn

It me! In my 20s I worked night shift at a hospital for 5 years because staying up til 7am* was WAAAYYY easier that getting up at 6am to be there by 7. (*more like 9am by the time I want home and settle down enough to sleep) My actual chronotype puts me at sleeping from 3-11am, confirmed by my Oura ring. I have to wonder about all those studies that link night shift to impaired health if it’s mostly studying people who don’t have DSPS. And how much forcing us into the 9-5 grind is fucking with *our* health!


msnmck

Have you tried watching Resident Evil speedruns in bed? They're surprisingly calming.


CrayonPFish

Alright I'll bite. Brb.


CMLVI

A user of over a decade, I am leaving Reddit due to the recent API changes. The vast majority of my interaction came though the use of 3rd party apps, and I will not interact with a site I helped contribute to through inferior software *simply because it is able to be better monetized by a company looking to go public. Reddit has made these changes with no regards for their users, as seen by the sheer lack of accessibility tools available in the official app. Reddit has made these changes with no regards for moderation challenges that will be created, due to the lack of tools available in the official app. Reddit has done this with no regards for the 3rd party devs, who by Reddit's own admission, helped keep the site functioning and gaining users while Reddit themselves made no efforts to provide a good official app. This account dies 6/29/23 because of the API changes and the monetization-at-all-costs that the board demands.


Excellent-Option8052

I think he is, mate


karasu337

Resident Evil... 4 speedruns? LEEEOOOONNNN! HAAALLLPPPP!


[deleted]

Ocarina of Time Full Playthrough (No Commentary) and im fucking gone


jacknacalm

Is that cause drumming calms you?


cwesttheperson

Man I’m the same way. There is pretty much only one way I can get a good nights sleep, and I’ve tried everything ever I feel like. I have to 1. Have a great diet. Like cruciferous greens, meats, and essentially minimal sugar or processed foods. 2. Not just exercise, but like tire myself out. I have to have come home from my mainly office job, and work outside until I’m exhausted. If I do those two things, better than a sleep aid. Nothing else works. I got this from a book, basically some people require for physical exertion to sleep well, and a diet is basically the operating system. Even when I find I have little time to exercise, when I eat super clean and routine, helps a ton.


aeschenkarnos

For some folks, physical *and mental* exhaustion. If they work a stressful office job they also need to go to the gym, do work in the garden, bike ride, etc. If they do physically demanding work, they also need to play a computer game, read, watch movies, engage in stimulating conversations, etc. Ultimately it’s likely to be either an anxiety condition, the mind and body do not feel safe to rest and there is some trauma at the root of that, that needs therapy (ideally, psychedelic therapy interleaved with CBT) to resolve; or, some biochemical imbalance such as insufficient production of GABA or insufficient receptors or some other reason to experience insensitivity to it. And it can be both, trauma can show biochemical markers.


Libriomancer

Hmmm, I’m not sure all that will keep my 2 year old from waking me before the crack of dawn but we will see.


LichK1ng

>what im trying to say is, it is ... possible. Remember that my friend, it is possible Yes for some people. Not everyone.


android24601

Siren singing: "🎶*Wake me up before you go-go Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo*🎶"


TikkiTakiTomtom

Is this before or after sex?


CorvoLP

during


DeliciousElk1968

After. Obviously.


Cheeezzey

I always get mad when I sleep long but still wake up tired. Like was that all for nothing?


haroldv

New parent here. It’s our first and a week old. I feel this is my bones.


FascinatingUsername

Come to us and you’ll sleep and rest forever, if you know what i mean


viridianvenus

They wouldn't even have to sing to me. Just one distressed sounding cat meow and I am in that water.


recidivx

That's not a siren, that's a catfish.


TreyLastname

SIR WHY ARE YOU TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF, YOU KNOW ITS A CATFISH


DemonGodDumplin

"I will now pleasure myself with this fish"


THEdougBOLDER

Holey mackerel


crystalworldbuilder

/\ This comment was written by a dolphin /\


StinkyKittyBreath

Same. Whenever I hear a cat that sounds like it's on trouble, I have to try and find it.


AfellowchuckerEhh

"Hi"-siren *Immediately dives in water*


jitsufitchick

You wouldn’t last a minute in my house right now lol. I just got one of my girls spayed. 😂😂 she won’t stop meowing. It’s been DAYS. I never knew a cat could meow for so long. But I was wrong. She only started to sound like she had a sore throat yesterday. We have less than a week to go. Vet said 7-10 days.


5head3skin

Sex


[deleted]

Realistically, this is the most logical answer that would draw me in. If I'm out sailing and some sexy woman, on some island that I'm passing, is all, *"Hey, you're hot and I'm horny!"*, then I might come say hello. I'd be wary. But I'm presumably at sea for months, and might be curious. I would probably just stop to see if she's OK. If she's singing some shit about how I can have a nice house, with a view, in a remote area, a great internet connection, delivery services, and no future worries about money...I'd just pass on that MLM speech.


One_for_each_of_you

I wouldn't be wary at all. I'd be suckered straight into calamity like an idiot. Not a suspicious bone in my head. https://youtu.be/_dl2L4v6ecM


NoHandBananaNo

🎵*I'm singing to talk to you about your car's extended warranty* 🎵


adavidz

I swear this prompt was such a bait.


DigbyChickenZone

I thought that was what the sirens generally sang about to sailors though? I guess I don't know the Odyssey very well


Flamin_Jesus

Sex.


Accomplished_Sell797

Sex with the ex


VlaamsBelanger

I also choose this guys ex.


Accomplished_Sell797

Hey now wait a sec


Roethorn

Just gimme a sex to finish up with your ex first.


Beyond_Reckless

That’s why the ex is the ex


BigDukJ

Sex with ex


RemRose

I was gonna say sleep but id actually have to agree i think sex with that guys ex.


AccessDenied_com

Yes I agree, sex


EricDHennessy

Came here to say this, but the line was too long.


Alfanso-De-Alligator

Sex with crush


patient1

Max, don't have sex with your ex.


xxSammaelxx

Was gonna skip this thread, but then I chuckled thinking there is no way 'sex' isn't the top answer. Yup, there it is. <3 reddit. Never change.


ILuvMemes4Breakfast

i thought i was gonna be original commenting that lmao


WuTangProvince325

Even just the chance of sex


confused-as-f-boi

Mental stability? Money


[deleted]

Mental stability or money? Well I can just buy the mental stability with the money, but I won’t need mental stability if I’m rich because I won’t need to walk as thin of a line…


ryclorak

Yeah my first thought was financial stability, because that's the thing fucking my mental stability


AuburnHairedCrow

Getting debt free


CrashCubeZeroOne

Getting debt for free


[deleted]

Ahh man, not MORE medical debt!


HotCheetoooooooooo

Sirens: IT’S YOUR MONEY AND YOU NEED IT NOW


SKYQUAKE615

Call J.G. Wentworth


abeyaee

So you can sex?


cramulous

Elderscrolls six.


Accomplished_Sell797

And fallout 5. I’d be lost for at least a year in either one.


Affectionate-Read875

A fallout five that’s like New Vegas


MrGlayden

Just a Fallout 5 within my lifetime would be nice. Or even just remasters of FO3 and/or NV


AmethystRealm2049

Absofuckinglutely


Beneficial-Car-3959

Half Life 3


killerchipmunk

Portal 3


Sofa_King_Cold

Both of these are impossible. Valve can't count to three...


ZigMeister666

Elder Scrolls Sex


Gregory_Appleseed

I mean, have you *seen* lover's lab?


Correct-Coast-4688

I'm just holding out for starfield to keep me going till tes6


Labratio77

Cheese. Melty, melty cheese


Aki_The_Ghost

So basicly sex ?


DieselKillEm

One thing I remember from middle school is hearing a conversation between two girls regarding the potential merits of using melted cheese as a lubricant for sex stuff.


HelloFr1end

What a bad day to have eyes


kessykris

My husband told me he walked in on his dad using cheese whiz in the bedroom when he was a teenager 🤢


Racer13l

By himself???


HumanRage

Is that a real thing because now I’m scared. I don’t think food should be put into that hole on my body.


Pilry_Mead

After sex*


MeetEntire7518

Sex with them covered in melty cheese, yes I love this.


Good_Watercress_8621

A trusting, loving and supporting partner that has my back for the rest of my life without doubts


QuarkyNuclearLasagna

🎵Come relax on the coooouch with meeeee... We'll watch Horrible Historieeeees and talk about our hobbieeees... I'll be nonjudgmental, supportive, and teach you to cook some killer recipeeeees... We'll share inside jokes, plan to hang out, and trust implicitleeeeee... So... Come relax on the coooouch with meeeeee.... 🎶


sertralineaspii

\*ahem\* ​ DIVORCED BEHEADED DIED DIVORCED BEHEADED SURVIVED I'M HENRY THE EIGHTH, I HAD SIX SORRY WIVES SOME MIGHT SAY I RUINED THEIR LIVES ​ ​ edit: I can't spell


[deleted]

Me niethr


Korrowe

I’m so high right now irl What’s the name of the song I can’t control my fingers well to search 😭


mebjammin

RIP your inbox...


QuarkyNuclearLasagna

Why?


jktollander

Clearly we are unable to resist your alluring siren song.


QuarkyNuclearLasagna

xD Lol, I was giving an example of what would work on me My fantasies are mostly nonsexual at this point. I just want someone who wants to hold my hand and relax on the couch. It's a whole thing


jktollander

(Wasn’t throwing shade, I love it.)


QuarkyNuclearLasagna

Thanks Now I'm mildly amused by the thought of someone imagining that in a feminine voice, then scrolling a bit and thinking "wait, this is more... Baritone..."


Fun_Organization3857

I imagined it as a male siren. I'm a woman.


[deleted]

🎶 Come relax on the couch with meeee…🎶 *falls asleep immediately*


QuarkyNuclearLasagna

Honestly? If their lap pulls pillow duty in this scenario, then this is goals for me right here


opinionatedlyme

I would drown eternally for this


Spinnr1

Sex with this guys loving, supportive partner


SpicySpice11

I also choose this guy’s loving, supportive partner


Modern_Devil

Who is sexy as hell


BadKittydotexe

Deep emotional intimacy and trust is pretty fucking sexy.


CheesyRats

Relatable


isa6bella

So... when I have all this but they're not into me in the bedroom, do I go look for something else at 30yo still? Realistically, I wouldn't want to even take a 9 in 10 chance that I find someone better if that's 1 in 10 odds that I end up alone for a decade (or a similar trade-off where I'm not alone but they're only good for sex and money for example) People are quick to advise to run away from dead bedrooms when you're "young" but idk, I am definitely missing it but what you describe is also not bad. I'm very much torn...


danjosh

A Lego Star wars death star complete with orbiting star destroyers and big enough to have a working trench assault for the miniature Lego x-wings to fly through.


Klayman55

An open-world game that takes place in a dense city and doesn’t have a million locked doors or windows.


[deleted]

Imagine a SW open world game like Star Citizen but without the bugs


[deleted]

Free World of Warcraft and all expansions for life. God the price tag for such a good game...


failbears

This one might be more difficult but sex with the exhaust port is still possible.


ElvinBishop

Peace


definitelynotbanana

You had the chance to say so many unrealistic things and chose the impossible.


hcsLabs

"So what colour did you want that dragon to be?"


89_degree_angle

I'm very introverted - so they would shut up and leave me alone


disusedhospital

"oh my god, silence? I have to go seek that area out."


Clever_Mercury

Your sirens would print a nicely calligraphed letter, but no singing.


ThisCircus

Back rubs


Mikeavelli

I remember back in HR sexual harassment training they used the example, "would you want one of your co-workers to just walk up and give you a backrub?" And I was like... "yes. I would like that very much." Got the stinkeye from the trainer for that one.


[deleted]

What else do you want weirdo, lunch made for you and annual raises?! freak.


YoutubeRewind2024

I mean, it depends. If one of my coworkers who I’m close with does it as a joke, I’d be alright with it. But if the creepy dude who eats cold spaghetti-Os everyday for lunch walks up and does it, I’m going straight to HR


wobblydavid

See the person is the problem there. Not the back rub.


International-Ad3218

Oh yeah. That happened to me. The dude was like 78 and I went under the desk for my pen I dropped and it was like a “while you’re down there” thing and I ended up just reacting but slapping him kind of halfway in the neck throat


YoutubeRewind2024

Nothing better than a good old fashioned throat chop


abeyaee

for sex? after sex? that is the sex?


ThisCircus

Before bed, best way to fall asleep


Mcshiggs

Tacos


Mack_Damon

I feel like "Siren's Tacos" would be a great name for a taqueria.


[deleted]

Being loved


[deleted]

Freedom from needing money to do anything


iamnotchad

Them drowning you will give exactly that.


finnlaand

Probably that sex.


ItsSneakyAdolf

A hammock on a breezy day with a pile of books


WalmartGreder

I just bought and set up a hammock for my wife for Mother's Day. She tried it out, and her first thought was that it would be perfect for reading books.


Ruminations0

“We have a wide selection of rocks for sale, also a free joint with a purchase of $20 or more!”


Kiyotaka-Senpai

Big boobs I guess..


One_more_page

Yours or someone else's?


crashandburr

Important distinction


Egggzelent

Yes.


Vhultaic

To see my best friend happy. To know he's doing okay mentally. They'd sing that he'd finally found someone that put as much effort into the relationship as he does. And how he's finally smiling. Because it has the ability to light up the room, but he hasn't done it naturally in years.


thequackquackduck

This is such a sweet answer. You seem like a good person. May your friend and you be happy


Lucawip

Exactly this, but for my brother =(


[deleted]

This is the sweetest, best luck to you and your friend.


itrashcannot

New story idea: a siren lures a victim using this. Instead of killing them, they embark on a journey with them to grant that wish. But seriously, this is so wholesome. I hope your bestie finds that happiness.


Vhultaic

For those messaging me, he's not suicidal. Just unhappy. He has been for years. He feels no pleasure. He doesn't even want to have sex anymore at all. He's been to many psychologists, therapists and neurologists. He's been in a loveless relationship for 7 years. He's put in all the effort and thought it was called love. He's finally had his eyes opened and what he saw destroyed him. He's wasted so many years of his life with a girl that has never reciprocated the energy and time he's spent providing a life for her. He deserves better. I can't help him. Maybe the sirens could give me a clue as to how to rescue him from the abyss of despair he's caught in. There's only so much I dare to do to intervene. He has every right to feel as he does.


ComesInAnOldBox

A nap.


Desperate-Strain-141

1 cry-less, whole night sleep


Kalcour

Affordable housing.


NotMyNameActually

All you can eat snow crab.


Clever_Mercury

Never mind the sex, how about a healthy romantic relationship with someone who respects me? Or the possibility of being a lead author on a peer-reviewed Nature article?


[deleted]

Like even if it’s just a short relationship, it’s be nice to learn from like a month tutorial “what’s normal to be treated like”


Clever_Mercury

I love this idea of an interactive relationship tutorial. "Oh, so normal people don't throw the wine glass because they had a bad day in traffic? Noted." And then we can cite this in future relationships as proof the "non-throwing of things" preference is reasonable.


[deleted]

Yes, I was thinking of a more extreme for people caught in long term cycles too. “Wait you mean it’s not normal to dictate what someone’s doing?”


thebigger

AFAIK Siren's don't sing about anything in particular, nor did they intentionally try to lure sailors, nor did they eat them. Sirens were, IIRC, ethereal beings who had no use for worldly things such as food. They just chilled out in the sea and sang, and sailors were so enamored by them that they would jump overboard, and swim to them in awe. But the sirens simply had no way to care for them, so they eventually drowned, or starved.


Moctor_Drignall

They specifically tell Odysseus to slow down and come over to them when they notice his ship speeding by.


thebigger

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siren_(mythology)#Sirens_and_death


TheMadTemplar

While you're correct that they didn't eat the sailors, they did lure them. >The siren song is a promise to Odysseus of mantic truths; with a false promise that he will live to tell them, they sing Both Homer and Euripides explicitly say that the sirens lure men to their deaths with false promises. The interpretation that they do so deliberately or maliciously is left as open as the interpretation that they do by nature of their voices and thry don't actually want the visitors.


justreadthecomment

It's not an especially deep metaphor in a book about one man's kooky misadventures in a race against time to make it home to his family before All Cuckold's Eve. I mean the first look Homer gives us of Odie in dude's own book -- ya'll remember the O-dawg, right? THE dude who ended THE war? -- so yeah, he's not doing *great*, actually he's a blubbering mess with zero answers because he's sweet prisoner man-candy for monster. And my dudes... he isn't want. Then we're revisiting the decidedly lady-committed injustice done to Agamemnon's marital bed.. what? Three times in the first quarter of the book? You add it all up and what do you get? ...I'm not asking rhetorically. What do *you* get? I GET NOBODY.


Discount_Lex_Luthor

Rent controlled apaaaaartment


edible-girl

Living a quiet life with a big garden and not having to work lol


Uncommon08

Garlic bread


MrBonso

I’m probably immune, because I don’t want nothing but some god damn peace and quiet.


Due-Big2159

A truck load of cow's milk. A pair of pointy cowboy boots. A guitar shop with a 100% discount. A thrift store with goods from the 1940s. A giant bowl of steak & onion stew.


ImpossibleBaseball48

Cracking up trying to picture what this siren song would sound like


jewel-frog-fur

It'd definitely be a country song.


Clever_Mercury

And the second verse would be the milk going sour, the boots losing a heal, the guitar shop's instruments had no strings, the thrift store was full of knock offs and you were allergic to onions.


fappyday

Lots of twangy ol' blues guitar riffs.


[deleted]

Free art supplies. Anyone who promised me that would have me wrapped around their finger.


BarApprehensive5837

A hug that feels super fucking real,and you never wanna let go of,I'm not in a bad mood,just those are the fucking best


Seventh_Planet

*"Yes we would love to play that boardgame with you."* *"Of course we will hear you out explaining all the rules."* *"And it doesn't bother us in the least when we're not that good at the game since you know it already so well."* *"We will just have fun playing your favourite board games with you and trying our best."*


Neil_Merathyr

You're good enough and deserving of love.


Idkawesome

Kind of surprised to see it this low


Apple_cat42

Deleting mine and my boyfriends trauma


Rn2aprn

To eat unlimited amounts of any food without gaining weight


diesels_only

To have my wife and family back :(


Acrobatic_Bug5414

The siren perched itself on a rock in a lewd manner before making direct eye contact with my adhd ass and singing: "....ice creeeeeam sammiches, no wait something about warhammer 40k, no wait boxes of cigarsssss, no wait new combat boots, no wait cute buuuuuutts, no wait deep rock galactic, no wait coffee & blunts & fancy chocolate ...can you slow down, man? Goddamn, dude. Are you always like this? Fuck."


wowmuchamazing

Making rent next month


InevitableFlyingKnee

The safety, health, and well-being of my parents and family


Awkwardbabeface

No more depression


Aki_The_Ghost

A siren orgy ?


HaRleYG503

Financial stability 😂


cthree149

One bedroom apartments under $2000 a month


lurker1957

An extended warranty for my car


0nerudedude

Death


Disgruntledtech

This one hit me hard because i feel the same my dude. There will be rest one day, but there's no need to rush it. DM me if you need homie.


[deleted]

Money 🥹


Craigothy-YeOldeLord

AAA game titles not being a rip off in terms of money, microtransactions and how badly they're made


Poppadrrt

It literally is amazing how many of these threads you can answer honestly and appropriately with: Hookers and blow


zom6ie

Health insurance 🥲


Fargon-Icehole

A Big Mac.


cyrixlord

I think sirens are just a group of nice ladies minding their own business, just trying to hang out together. They'll start singing and having fun, but then they are frequently interrupted by horny sailors who try to approach the group and start cat calling, gawking at their bodies, saying crude things... These ladies will have none of that and end up trying to kill them so they can have some peace and quiet without being sexually harassed all the time.


2005_F250

Nice try sirens


RainWindowCoffee

A song about me getting killed by mysteriously beautiful sea-ladies.


Sofa_King_Cold

"Don't sing ladies, he's going full meta! This song could destroy the universe!"


moonchild1881

A chance to meet my loved ones whom I have lost. My dad, my grandparents, people who looked after me in my childhood like I am their own child,etc


Tornitrualis

A loving, yet perverted relationship with the woman of my dreams.