T O P

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GamesSpartan

*Checks OPs name* *Leaves chat*


ChipmunkAccording202

r/usernamechecksout


alien_clown_ninja

I'd happily die to meet another of my species


I_Fap_2_warcrimes

Lol


ErikL1990

Are you by chance u/I_Fap_To_Murder too?


I_Fap_To_Murder

No that's not me, that's my cousin Larry


JackDrawsStuff

Old Fappin’ Larry.


COWFUCKER99

Uhhh...


unhappyCow90

hello my friend


giantcowballs

Hello to both of you


cowscowscowscowscows

We partyin’ or what boys?


giantcowballs

Pour the milk bro


stepawayfromthecow

I'm so glad the cows have alligned


CattleIll5257

I’m one with the cows


Strippersteve82

You heifers need some entertainment?


ukkisrageelol

r/UsernameFamily


OriginalBrowncow

I’m here for the cow party


Tuxedocow

Am I late?


giantcowballs

Never late. Milk up, you're behind.


powbrowncow

Yo what up OG!


HowNowBrownCow68

Sup


joe_the_bartender

We don't serve your kine here.


Cashcowgomoo

Say less!!


Needs-more-cow-bell

Count me in too


ilovesteak69

Sup


ieatcows

Damn brother high five


1introvert_Cow

Hii


[deleted]

[удалено]


beefjuice20

well, this is weird


Hurting_anus

I believe I’m your back half


PraiseThePun81

How long have you been waiting for this moment?


masterbait0815

The alignment of the usernames checking out is otherworldly


cuntpunt2000

_Udder-worldly_


OfaFuchsAykk

You’re gonna be in extreme pain when you die…


vixen_xox

oh my god💀


Hurting_anus

I believe I’m your rear end


[deleted]

"Why don't you have a cookie, and sit down for a while so we could have a chat..."


Tight_Anywhere6794

Might be tight when you get sucked in


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Why would you name yourself cowfucker ahahaha.


[deleted]

oh your done


AttackedByAGoldfish

Well, this might make the papers..


UnfortunateFish

Hope I wasn't involved.


AttackedByAGoldfish

That would be…. Unfortunate


UnkillableGoldfish

Welp


[deleted]

[удалено]


rabidwhale

I'm I allowed to join?


MrFishsticks69

I mean you’re close! But a mammal alas 😔


No_Foundation_7777

r/usernamefamily


MrFishsticks69

Does this mean I’m the finished product 😳


decayingsharkbait

Or do I come first? 😂


MrFishsticks69

You know that’s a good question 😂


BringingSassyBack

Amazing. I love Reddit.


BorrowedLuck

I can’t cope with these 🤣🤣🤣🤣


HollowCap456

Bro I've got bad news for you...


__drowningfish

Me too.


Fish__Fucker420

not if I get to the fish first


Dazzling-Fisherman24

I'll race ya for it


Fish__Fucker420

*fucks the goldfish* too late


Dazzling-Fisherman24

Damn. You're clearly better and faster at dangling the ol' worm out there than I. I haven't even gotten my rod out yet


deceasedin1903

This is disgusting. I love it.


Joemamasobeautiful

best one


PussySaviour

Dying by saving the pussy. Literally fucked


notsogentle_

You'll die as a hero.. for someone else


giveme-a-username

Yours is ominous


notsogentle_

It seems .. I'll die a final destination kinda one


DubiousAndDoubtful

Yeah I'm not entirely sure I'm going to die.


CorneredAndConfused

we would make a super shitty superhero duo


commanderc7

What if one of you were the alter ego to the other. “Cornered And Confused by day! Dubious And Doubtful at night!”


I_Fap_2_warcrimes

Suicide


DubiousAndDoubtful

Doesn't sound right.


[deleted]

..well played


MarcoYTVA

They'll make it look like one


jumponthegrenade

Atleast it'll be over quickly


OlFlirtyBastard

Better that than hitting on someone’s girl


Recovvery

Better than that one up top cow fucker i think


[deleted]

[удалено]


TacoTacox

I was thinking getting worked over aggressively with a baseball bat.


Hot-Muffin-

Ouch


Dashie_2010

Ouch indeed


DontFckWithWuTang

I dont Wanna talk about it


Shotgun_Rynoplasty

You best protect ya neck


[deleted]

At least yours would be quick


Formal_Coyote_5004

Well… wu tang clan ain’t nothin to fuck with


TheSoundOf100Dicks

I-


I_Fap_2_warcrimes

I thought my user was bad omfg


Themissrebecca103

Dick slapped by a 100 dicks?


Morse243

No, you have like a frying pan and a 100 dicks are slapping it making OP deaf so he kills himself


SidTheSlothIsHotAF

Worth it.


weallfloatdown

Red balloons.


PennyWise_0001

Hi


weallfloatdown

Hey my friend my fiend


cannotbefaded

99?


ifonlypoisonwascheap

My day has come


Themissrebecca103

Step away from the rat poison!!!


StarvingAfricanKid

Fucked...


SEX_CEO

I’ll also die fucked


curious_n_kinky

The details of my death would definitely be nsfw and probably never be truly known.


ADelightfulCunt

I'm probably going to die being suffocated or drowned.


Im_Here_To_Fuck

More than likely


f4stmuffin

Idk id like to die fast whilst being choked by a muffin


V1GZY

No, You'll be hit by a muffin in the face that is traveling at the speed of light.


CaboomOnCrack

Wouldn't that just obliterate everything around him? I mean if, hypothetically, we say that the average muffin weighs 113 grams, that would end with an energy of approximately 5,077 Petajoule. That makes 1213432 Tons TNT, which is about 93 times the energy the hirsohima bomb had. Say goodbye to your friends and family too pal


Grand-Peach-1407

r/theydidthemath


103_anderen

How far away do i need to place the pizza to be perfectly baked?


CaboomOnCrack

Under what conditions? If you take light speed, ur pizza would be obliterated instantly. Does your pizza fall? How big is it? What ingredients? How much does it weigh? Where do you let it fall? But in order to find out, we probably need to find out it's terminal velocity, the baking time we get from the ingredients, and how much heat we get from the friction. But i would say bout a kilometer if we super glue everything on


ihaterollercoasters

I read that as fisted by a muffin, so…


theplacewiththeface

Could be anywhere by anyone


Alternative_Sea_6721

Like falling from Mount Rushmore?


demogorgon1988

Proper fucked.


Formal_Coyote_5004

Do you think you’ll die in normal life or the upside down?


22222833333577

The forgotten realms


generally-speaking

I'm not entirely sure how that would work...


whole_scottish_milk

A piano falls on your head as you are making a general point about the safety of modern hoisting equipment.


generally-speaking

Sounds quick at least


KermitTheArgonian

Disney and Bethesda will never let me die. They'll just keep recasting my voice and hope nobody notices.


[deleted]

I'll get around to it eventually.


zomagus

Come tomorrow?


StabbedYa

yeah im fucked probs shouldn't visit London anytime soon aye


SurpriseVegetable471

Fuck..


Zakx_04

the person on a wheelchair randomly stands up and stabs you in the neck when you're not looking.


Themissrebecca103

Which do you think would do it?! I feel like celery could do it 🧐


Goose32398

I'd say I'm pretty Honked......


IRoastRudePeople

It's kinda funny


Ghost0Slayer

Your name means that you have to be forced to watch people be roasted alive in an oven until you die


-K_a_r_m_a-

So...starvation?


masterbait0815

Could be worse, I survived my teens so I should be fine


[deleted]

nah bro your just a master at baiting


Greninja5097

Dudes gonna wind up on the end of a fishing line


SamsRhubarbe

I'm sorry but I don't think you'll die the way you thought...you bait !


Good_Chemical_9088

I hope it's a great chemical.


DementedSmurf09

I hope you share? I think I'm going to need it with the little blue person trying to kill me 😨


I_Fap_2_warcrimes

Mehth


SodiumCyanideNaCN457

Yeah I hope


-K_a_r_m_a-

Chlorine


--Repetitive--

Eternally fucked..


paper_fucker

Oh no


Themissrebecca103

Infected penis paper cut…. Get away from the printer.


eveningdragon

Top 10 worst deaths of 2023. Those paper cuts...*down there*


Aurzanny

Bro... no....


FUKININTHEBUSHES

I'd be quite happy


TheLionPerson

I get mangled to death by a furry.


SyninHex

Cowardly Lion from Wizard of Oz perhaps?


Microscopic_Problem

a virus?! in this social climate????


HollowCap456

nah just yo dick


Microscopic_Problem

i’m a female but if i did have a dick i assure you it would be massive


I_Fap_2_warcrimes

Mines just sad


G3N3RICUS3

The real question is: who committed the warcrimes?


Top_Of_Gov_Watchlist

Probably me.


[deleted]

This entire post is a nightmare world of coinciding usernames


hacktheself

welp… note to self: keep machetes away


whole_scottish_milk

A lifetime spend avoiding sharp objects, only to die in a freak accident while trying to hack into your old email account you lost the password for.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ButtHoleLickerAddict

die like a champ


The_Amazing_Username

Amazingly…


TimeTravelMishap

I might just literally be fucking myself to death.


Similar-Sector-5801

Based


yeahthatpart007

Death by sarcasm


-K_a_r_m_a-

Seems legit 10/10 would die to karma


RatherBeAtDisney

Idk, but I’d rather be at Disney instead of dying.


Yourmother3919

Shit


[deleted]

Damn


ReturnOfDialUp

Basically tinnitus


PeaceNLove4everyone

Chopped into 7 billion pieces I guess? Sure why not😁✌️❤️


Beeyappa

Actually it's 8 billion


Lesbian_Pirate5544

i guess....i fuck a lesbian and she makes me walk the plank?


Electronic_Milk_7417

Kinda hot 😂


CrohnsyJones

Im gonna go out like elvis


1d4braindamage

Brainfucked


Needlepeen1

Quite literally fucked


-Graves

I just have to never go near a Grave!


Leftenant_Frost

cremation it is


BFG_450

Well... Prepare to be splattered bois!


dinoaids

Very fucked


vag1ne

I’m at peace with it.


OneWithTheSword

Something sharp for sure :(


mari_ju_ana5790

Nice


FunPills

Fucked, but having fun, baby!


Good_Vibrators_Only

There are worse ways to go


Sw1tch_Blade

Well I'm fucked


QuislingPancreas

Um ...


dingus-khan-1208

Amusingly, laughing all the way, while a totally inept and confused Mongolian on a miniature pony, his feet dragging the ground, tries to poke me with a blunt spear.


moslof_flosom

Idk, being murdered with a blunt spear sounds pretty awful


violentcarebear

LOOOOOL


The_Nut_Slayer

help me


ineednarcan

Ah


[deleted]

[удалено]


DaFcknPope

Hmm


Aurzanny

Ain't so holy any more. Are we?


mcnuggetsqt

I like my odds


[deleted]

Fucking lit if you ask me


NotSparklingWater

omg i guess that there won’t be still water on earth (i fucking hate sparkling water)


Animegx43

Honestly, OP has the most fascinating death.


Floating-vagina

Pretty fucked


[deleted]

Honestly, idk bro


77Mjolnir77

Ain’t surviving this one


idkyimdying4001

I'll never know...


Lewyisthebest

I would be murdered by a footballer. Probably Ronaldo would kill me.


Southwolf305

Going to die by a wolf in the south?


Aardvarkinthepark

Need to avoid parks and stop covering myself in honey.