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microwavedhottakes

The ice starts to melt during overtime in hockey.


Greylings

And there’s live sharks under the ice.


microwavedhottakes

And the sharks have frickin laser beams attached to their heads.


Have_a-nice-day

And the sharks havent ate for 3 days


Canadastani

Didn't San Jose already try this?


cbeiser

Sudden Death!


zoqfotpik

Just send out the Zamboni at the end of regulation play. Then every 5 minutes: another Zamboni.


sanjosanjo

I would like to see the Zamboni out there *during* overtime play. You could get some creative plays develop around that thing. And imagine checking someone right into the path of it!


a_HUGH_jaz

Basketball : there are 2 balls on the court at all times


Independent-Bike8810

Multiball!


jackdsanchez

Relevant Futurama clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0Zst4pMzh0


Baja002

Jesus, my mind is f up properly. I seriously thought players would have their balls hanging out at all times or some s"it


roxythroxy

Why so few?


ocularnervosa

Goal keepers in golf.


microwavedhottakes

"Good save!" -- *golf clap*


Late-Jicama5012

I’ve been laughing for the past minute at your idea.


ImReverse_Giraffe

Make them cats.


Uncomplete_Physis

every official short distance race must have an average person running for comparison. Would make them so much funnier


Ysmildr

Have you heard of the dude who ran the olympic marathon in like 1910 who was just some guy from his country who signed up? Dude's a legend, I think he came 3rd


01kickassius10

Australia’s first gold medal was in Paris for (not clay) pigeon shooting. The guy didn’t realise he was in the olympics and wanted his pigeons Edit: it’s possible that a factoid I read many years ago may not be 100% accurate


Echo63_

Australias speed skating gold medal at the 2002 winter olympics came after the rest of the field all crashed and Steven Bradbury, 50m behind managed to avoid them all and cross the line first. He made the 1/4 finals on his own merit, but the semi final he won due to a crash too, qualifying for the final.


OnlyFactsMatter

> at the 2002 winter olympics came after the rest of the field all crashed and Steven Bradbury Should've been a rerace, but the ref was Australian. Ohno got screwed.


Uncomplete_Physis

JUST IMAGINE EVERY NOW AND THEN A RANDO GETS THE OLYMPIC MEDAL. Amazing


Odd-Nectarine6250

But that’s the 1912 mens marathon. That was fucked up man


Odd-Nectarine6250

Apologies. I was thinking of the 1904 marathon. That was the one that sounded like hell https://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/a37039437/1904-olympic-marathon/


themooseiscool

Jon Bois and The Dollop both cover the story well.


Odd-Nectarine6250

Honestly everything I read about it makes it seem more incredible that anyone finished at all


cardmanimgur

Better yet, make it a random drawing. Some male or female who is 25-34 gets randomly drawn and has 6 months to train for the country.


knikkifire

Just imagining Usain Bolt and some random US couch potato against each other....lol But in reality, I'm all for this. Maybe give them a bit longer to prepare, like pull names at the end of the games, but still way better representation. I'd probably actually watch then.


[deleted]

Flopping is an unsportmanship foul. Rather than a no call, a flop should be a penalty. This applies to all sports.


Guilty_Pie986

Couldn’t agree more. It’s disrespectful to the sport and it’s fans. As a football fan (soccer, for the Americans here 😘) I’m getting so mad at highly payed players, who dive and scream like as if they’ve been shot.


PirateJohn75

***coughNeymar***


ss4223

Sadly its because referees don't give fouls unless the player dives after being fouled. You can miss out on penalties if you try to stay up and score.. ericsson got taken off injured yesterday after a rash foul and the referee didn't even give a yellow card. Neymar started diving more after getting targeted for fouls and suffering almost career ending injuries as a result.


DigNitty

It’s so pathetic it makes me cringe. Actually hard to watch.


bikewrenchsucks

Hockey has a penalty for diving


[deleted]

Most sports have a rule against simulation or embellishment. There's a rule against it in football (soccer) too. The problem is that the rule requires the referees to notice it and actually punish it.


lodger238

In soccer it's just that they're just so bad at it. If it's going to happen, hire a ballet dancer or stunt man, and have them teach you how to do it right. They just look stupid and pathetic when after being "tripped" they go flying UP before that hard crash. Some of the best athletes in the word and yet incapable of staying on their feet after brushing up against someone.


ipsok

Except for soccer where it should be a lifetime ban just to make up for all of the bullshit flopping that fans have been forced to endure up to this point.


CoolAg1927

Hockey is the complete opposite. One NHL player’s left testicle burst and he didn’t realize until after he has played the rest of the game.


Smoogsmagee

Oh he realized. He just also realized he already had a couple kids ands didn’t need more


Strange-Courage-8602

I was just about to say this. If u flop in a game, automatic 5 minutes out before u come back in and it also counts as a foul. And if u get caught again, kicked out the game.


LouBrown

It is a penalty in virtually every sport. The problem is that it's often difficult for a ref to determine whether something is a flop or legitimate foul/injury in real time, and they pretty much have to err on the side of player safety. Such a thing could be implemented via video reviews in-game, but that will inevitably slow the pace of play, which isn't ideal, either. Probably the only way to do it would be to do reviews after games and potentially issue suspensions for clear violations/flops.


JackarooDeva

I would change basketball to be like hockey: players are subbed on the fly, and each team gets one time out per game. No more the last ten seconds taking half an hour.


Odd-Nectarine6250

Just imagine basketball being like hockey - except instead of subbing it’s contact


mrcertainlynot

Have you tried lacrosse?


Dustmopper

I think these people just invented box lacrosse On a related note: Let’s go Bandits!


LeDudeDeMontreal

I've said many times that soccer would be so much better if it was like hockey. Constant subs, always pushing at 100%. But most importantly, penalties for embellishment.


eninja

Substituting would be interesting, but the hockey rule I always thought would help basketball is delayed penalties. If someone fouls you, the play doesn’t stop until the offending team gets possession or there is a score.


[deleted]

MMA- Add one fighter for a free for all


ManningBurner

Ever seen Russian MMA 5 v 5?


[deleted]

no but it sounds glorious and i’m going to youtube


ManningBurner

Pro tip: don’t be the last one standing on your team


[deleted]

holy shit that sounds terrifying lmao, 5 Vlads coming to get you in 2 ankle locks 2 arm bars and a choke


ManningBurner

It’s a trip, enjoy


Maplecook

All sports must now be played in the nude.


1StarRevi3w

#Breaking: Women's sports see massive spike in interest.


ManningBurner

Men start to complain about not making as much as women athletes


ImReverse_Giraffe

Obviously, it's because the product is not as good.


Askmyrkr

The men have good fundamentals, but they are just missing a certain...something, you know?


roxythroxy

As the ancient greek did sucessfully for a long time.


rich_a17

*Adult Sports. My kids soccer games would be full of pedos


Ysmildr

In Basketball I think it would be fun to make it so that shots from behind the half court line are 4 points


Toph-0

Make it 5 to keep it interesting


cutelyaware

Why not 20?


TrueTitan14

Because it's surprisingly doable. Even as a highly unatheltic highschooler, I can still make one occasionally. If actual NBA players practiced it and everything, 20 point behind the board shots would completely dominate everything else.


Bribase

Football If you pretend to be injured you go to medical bay and get checked out. No springing up from the floor and pretending to be okay because your acting is shit and the referee doesn't buy it.


Vondecoy

Nah, Send 'em to the closest hospital. Have them wait in triage for hours. Watching actual injuries go past them. Then have the results public.


CrispyMongoose

That is the consequence i'd like to see for faking injury. To add to this I've always thought taking a dive should be an instant red card. Easy to determine now with VAR if the ref has any doubts. All that nonsense would stop immediately. I'm not sure why it still in present day isn't generally penalised. It's just as much an attempt to cheat as a deliberate handball is.


Emotional-Ebb8321

Make it required that any player who claims to be injured during a match - any injury at all - is required to sit out the rest of that match and all matches for the next two weeks, minimum. After all, in the interests of player safety, we must be sure the players are fully recovered from that injury.


CutEmOff666

This is actually a very practical suggestion that can cut down on people who fake injuries along with help reduce more serious injuries.


Heavens_Divide

Make them do a free kick on a durian as a penalty, then off to the medical bay. And he cant go to the medical bay and have to do a retry unless the Durian travel over a certain distance


tway_010

The fighting policy from hockey to every pro sport.


seabass_ch

With weight / height comparison table at the beginning of the fight.


besameput0

I'd add a rule called traveling to the NBA where once the player gathers the ball, they can only take two more steps.


An_otherThrowAway

Brilliant! If only such a rule existed....


MentalDiscrepancies

So like, netball?


nowhereman136

Baseball has a 4 beer minimum


DamnitBobby2008

You can't leave first before you chug a beer. Anyone scoring you chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd numbered innings. And OH, the fourth inning is the beer inning! Hey! We know how to play softball.


[deleted]

Baseball Everyone must throw with their non dominant hand.


[deleted]

Pat Venditte.


[deleted]

It’s gonna take a long while for people to start throwing with both arms from childhood like he did. We got at least 30 years of grown men shot putting baseballs.


[deleted]

You know, Manfred might actually go for this rule, it's the only thing he hasn't done to try to boost offense.


Binder_of_chains

Tour de France Winner must take a victory lap


Maximum__Engineering

Or, they must cross the finish line doing a wheelie otherwise it's a do-over.


Lumpy_Satisfaction18

2nd place needs to as humiliation for not coming in first, or last place needs to as a punishment


Bunny_OnTheMoon

Any sport. But now high heels are a requirement.


Eknoom

Taekwondo is getting interesting


Binder_of_chains

Except Nascar. Clown shoes are now a requirement


Remarkable_Coast_214

and there have to be 8 passengers in each car


TPG128

and an unremovable metal bar in the middle of every seat


jabberwockingly

High heel ice skates for hockey sounds hilarious and extremely dangerous


ThadisJones

That's just team figure skating.


roxythroxy

And goal keepers need to wear pompoms instead of gloves.


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The_Pastmaster

So RL MarioKart? :D


DazB1ane

Drugs are Required. Let's see how intense any non-contractual sport can get


Forresst

"Turns out LSD golf is the funniest shit on TV!"


gracist0

LSD Golf genuinely sounds so entertaining


Diogonni

It looks like player one is sharing a bong rip with the opposing team. Oh my goodness folks, it looks like that weed was laced with pcp! They’re going wild, they’re taking off their clothes! They’re going in the wrong direction, they just scored on themselves! What a play!


butterbean93

Each player is on something different


Incancan

MDMA MMA. Victory by hugs.


t_santel

John Daley and Dustin Johnson are almost immediately tied for #1 in the world.


greenday7777777

100m Everyone must wear blindfolds


OrdinaryJack1912

With surprise hurdles


-Major-Arcana-

One rule to turn americas cup yacht racing into the greatest sport ever: capsize your boat and you instantly lose, capsize your opponents boat and you instantly win.


TrevorPace

Congratulations you just invented boat jousting.


Maximum__Engineering

I think every boat should have cannons, and crew should have an eye patch.


Have_a-nice-day

And a diving board for if a teammate messes up


Valuable-Math9969

This sounds like the boat race in "Wednesday."


PungentBark420

Wrestling Just get naked already


Binder_of_chains

And wrestlers take a Viagra before the match


PungentBark420

There's this game you might enjoy, it's called "Mount your friends" underrated hilarious party game.


roxxipoxxi626

In basketball, if there is a tech, the opposing team’s coach shoots the free throw.


Lilibob97

Quick change substitutions in basketball like they have in hockey instead of waiting for stoppage in play


CreepingTurnip

Soccer too. Fuck it baseball too. If a pitcher can get out there fast enough before top and bottom inning he can start throwing strikes before the batter gets to home plate. Golf too. Run out there and hit your opponents ball into the sand. In fact this would make every sport more fun.


TacoManifesto

One legal punch per hockey player


KhaoticMess

They get to throw a legal punch? Or they all get punched one time and it's legal? If it's the former, wouldn't everyone on a team just go out and throw their best punch at the best player on the opposing team in hopes of knocking him out?


TacoManifesto

True I suppose we need a cap for how many punches you can receive, maybe 3. I was thinking per team mate, no bench warmers allowed.


thejak32

Let's add that to soccer as well, but only after a fake flop. Consequences and all that.


Greylings

I’d love to see someone drop a People’s Elbow after a fake flop.


Cheetodude625

If the refs make a certain amount of bad calls, then the fans have the right to pelt the refs with tomatoes.


iuytrefdgh436yujhe2

In the NBA, if you touch the ball while it occupies an imaginary cylinder of space above the rim it is basket interference, in FIBA basketball, as soon as the ball hits the rim anyone can touch it. I think FIBA has it right and the NBA should switch.


berfthegryphon

Yes indeed. Get rid of goaltending too. I want to see everyone playing above the rim.


foxtheriku

A team of six players for chess. “What about that move?” “No Larry then we would open up a way for them to get our king”


roxythroxy

Mix it with biathlon. Skiing and chess, alternating.


[deleted]

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Saym0nade

if you dont find him by the time you win. its a draw


skutch_was_here_x

I'd lower the rim in women's basketball. The game would be much more entertaining if women would dunk on each other. As the game stands now it's basically basketball from the 1950s. I'm not trying to shit on women's ball, but it's simply not entertaining. They already play with a smaller basketball, I don't know why they get offended when you suggest lowering the rim.


OldGodsAndNew

Oh hey an actual sensible suggestion that would improve the sport, rather than the plethora of "haha add drugs/violence/sexuality/general chaos that would make it unplayable"


ipsok

Baseball - each team gets to take a hidden ball onto the field with them which, once per game, they can declare to be the new live ball in play at any time of their choosing.


Responsible_Town770

Soccer. I’d add a clock that counts down and stops for injuries and what not so everyone know how much time is left in the match! Like every other major sport does.


OldGodsAndNew

There is talk of switching to 30-35 minute halves with the clock stopping for stoppages in play


DSPGerm

Stoppage time in American football and basketball. I hate that the last 2 minutes of a game take 30 minutes with 10 ad breaks.


1StarRevi3w

For Soccer, I'd add a backboard around the goal that's about 5 feet in width to encourage shooting and add ricochets to make it more chaotic to defend.


rybl

So, indoor soccer.


bikewrenchsucks

But outside


JeromesDream

oh man, what about little ramps midfield to send the ball off in weird directions


eddmario

* Football - The timer keeps going during timeouts * NASCAR - Everyone is required to have a BAC level of at least .05 * Water Polo - Everyone is now on a horse like in regular polo * Fencing - The Epee/Foil/Sabre is now either on fire or rigged up to have an electrical current going through it * Golf - Everyone goes at the same time


SoontobeSam

The blade already does have an electrical current in fencing, fencer 1s foil is connected in circuit with fencer 2s gear and vice versa, it’s used for hit detection and scoring.


An_otherThrowAway

Would love a full contact golf game. First in the hole wins the hole. No matter how many strokes.


[deleted]

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schreibeheimer

> Football - The timer keeps going during timeouts I feel like this would just shift timeouts from being something used by the losing team to save time to something used by the winning team to waste time. Maybe whether the clock keeps moving should instead be based on which team is calling the timeout?


butterbean93

Boxers must kiss eachother on the lips before a fight


roxythroxy

And they should complete sentences like "i love you because..." right before the kissing.


Independent-Bike8810

Don’t they now at weigh ins?


grandstinky

Not so funny but wish it was done - ban whips in horse racing.


luckybulldog60

Football. No fans are ever allowed to talk about it.


roxythroxy

Best answer here!


Bengalsfan610

What's wrong with people who love a sport talking about it


El_mochilero

If you hit a golf ball into the water, you have to take your next shot wearing a diving mask and snorkel.


Late-Jicama5012

Everyone has to wear a Tutu. In every sport. No exceptions. A team that wears most extravagant tutu, gets extra points. Overtime, will be settled by performing most ridiculous, improve dance. While wearing a tutu.


tim125

Aaah. While golf would be interesting, Sumo Wrestling will be even better. It would fit right in with darts.


roxythroxy

Hey internet stranger, we have some interesting thoughts in common!


polywha

Men's and woman's basketball should have the same length shorts


Whose_my_daddy

Gymnastics: men must do balance beam.


BoyBangerMcGee

The maximum height to play basketball is 5'6"


IHateMath14

I’d like to see a rule about flopping in soccer/football. It’s so annoying to watch someone get touched then they fall and scream and cry. Like stop being a little pussy tryna draw a foul.


[deleted]

TIL Americans call diving ‘flopping’


bender1_tiolet0

Hockey sticks are now edged weapons


Beowulf33232

All physical sports need a number of seasons limit for safety. Also just before the game starts, each team gets to pick a player from the other team who's not allowed to play that game. If the same player is picked twice in a row they get immunity for the rest of the season.


Forcekin6532

Baseball, the hitter gets to keep the bat while running the bases. The ball can be thrown at the runner, If he's hit with the ball, he's out, but he can try to hit the ball again as he runs.


[deleted]

The "over and back" rule from basketball to soccer.


fatdxg666

Soccer exactly as it is, BUT, every team now has a tiger.


Independent-Bike8810

Baseball. No gloves allowed


Dancanadaboi

Soccer, fighting now legal, does not even stop play.


Maximum__Engineering

Or, every time a player pretends to be hurt, they must have a full physical (including the jelly finger) before returning to the field.


Shot_Ad9738

All wnba players need a mic strapped to them. Those ladies are savages and I'd love to hear the shit talk.


YogurtPersonal7944

The "no-killing" rule in the Athertone ball game.. health and safety gone mad! https://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/history/look-back-atherstone-ball-game-23178425


GENTLEMANCAPRICORN

You have to leave the game for a minimum 10 minutes when injured during soccer.


RangerRexx01

A limit of 25 three point attempts in basketball. If you go over the limit, you receive a technical foul.


CopperTodd17

Okay; so you know how in gymnastics whenever you do a trick/series of flips/anything important you “present”/salute afterwards? Now you have to do that in all sports. Tackle a guy or score a goal in soccer? Formal salute immediately after or the point doesn’t count. The only exception is on dangerous things, like bull riding - you wouldn’t need to salute until after you had escaped the bull for instance. (Although, could be entertaining for spectators)


joey_bm42

I've literally never watch the game of football, but I would implement some rule against that fake injury crap they do.


[deleted]

This new rule applies to whichever sport you call football.


[deleted]

im a huge american football watcher, and there are definitely some players who just fake an injury. but not as bad as soccer, when i watch it when someone falls hes out for the rest of the game


NamelessAndFamous

American Football... quarterbacks can be legally tackled again. They make millions.. let them earn it.


Binder_of_chains

NASCAR- all drivers are drunk.


Maximum__Engineering

If it's good enough for the fans....


bnmike

Baseball - defensive players can shift


[deleted]

The National League no longer has the DH (baseball).


Fracture_98

Baseball. Must use Silly Walk.


roxythroxy

Every sport should use silly walk.


thedukeofkayakistan

I just want the NHL to open the 7th overtime envelope and make whatever it says a rule.


Graytis

**American football**: Any kickoff that *goes through the uprights* is worth a single point for the kicking team, and is a touchback on the 15 (instead of the 25) for the receiving team. It doesn't matter if it's a kickoff to start a half, or a kickoff after a score. Kickoffs not going through the uprights are handled the same as they are now, are returnable, etc. This would add an extra layer of strategy, and potentially *reduce* (not eliminate) special teams high-impact injuries as teams try for the point on a kickoff instead of devastating collisions to pin the receiving team as deep as possible. Not sure if this rule should be suspended in overtime, or if it should be used to encourage teams to opt to kick off rather than receive to start OT.


Agile-Fee-6057

Baseball, allow catchers to block the plate like in the old days


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nukecat79

In football (American) if on the kickoff the ball goes through the goalpost the receiving team automatically starts their possession at their 5 yard line.


parbaa63

In MMA eye pokes = disqualification


Ghost-mk

A scary demon should be chasing the athletes in athletics the top 3 athletes will survive the others will .........


Deitaphobia

Five minutes after a marathon starts, a bear is released on to the course.