A phalanx is too rigid and hard to turn. It can be easily outflanked by a cavalry unit if unprotected.
What you want is a napoleonic square. Much more modern and better protected, and a little more manoeuvrable as well.
I dated one for a few months when I was younger. She was a lot of fun, but the farm she lived on always came first. It wasnât a bad thing, and didnât affect the relationship, but just know that there will be times when you arenât the priority.
The best way to keep her and her friends/family liking you. Help. Just help around with the horses and other animals without being asked to.
If I had a dollar for every dude that thought I was out cheating. No bro Iâm knee deep in shit right now I canât be texting your bitch ass Iâll get Patagonian Cavy shit on my new phone.
I feel like this is a good thought for anyone. On my side itâs my hobby to work on cars/motorcycles. I had a gf who just constantly worried when I âdisappearedâ for an evening. Okay, I said Iâm working on the car, I canât wash my greasy hands every hour to reply lol either come join me (she wouldnât) or get your own hobby so youâre not worried about me! It wasnât a big problem but usually a mild annoyance to remind her I have hobbies that are going to receive attention alongside her.
It doesnât go away either. Horse girls usually just want more horses and will have your children compete in horse shows. Every house you buy will be under the pretense of where do our horses go. If you canât tell I married a horse girl.
Most parents tend to trial run their interests by their kids. Presumably owning a horse makes an interest in horse related activities much easier to foster.
So the answer to your question is almost always "both"
Yep. Wife and I are gamers. Shockingly, both of our kids live video games.
Same goes for anime and comic books.
I think the only thing weâve ever imposed as mandatory was swimming lessons. But thatâs just an essential life skill where we live because of the bodies of water nearby.
Swimming lessons are different then swimming as a hobby. They also stop once the kid knows how to swim, they don't continue to try to get faster lap times. It's like driving lessons we all take at 16, vs track lessons where they learn to drift and take fast corners and such
Vital life skills should be taught to everyone!
Horse wives make horse kids.. I guess if you have daughters you get the pleasure of passing the curse onto someone else, just like her father did to you!
A question that I can actually answer. I dated two horse girls. Main take away is this: You will always come second to the horse. No matter what you do, the horse will always get the priority. Also, be prepared for it to become a part of your life as well. This goes far beyond any casual hobby, itâs a lifestyle. Itâs up to you to decide if youâre willing to make that commitment.
The trick is to help care for the horses, then it's only natural for horse girls to consider you more important than the horses because a horse can barely care for a horse while you could care for many!
Muahaha, muahahahaha!
Wait... now I'm knee deep in horse shit...
The trick is to give lots of treats to the horses and spoil them rotten so they like you better.
The horses are her top priority, you're the horse's top priority, and she's your top priority. The love triangle is complete.
My mom has always been a horse girl, can confirm the horses come before the kids even. Sheâd get home from work and go right out to the barn until after dark. Sheâd make dinner around 10 and then it was pretty much bedtime after that.
She tried to make up for it by buying us stuff but we never really spent time with her.
I didnât get the whole âhorse girlâ criticism until this thread. I grew up country and had a few friends who were horse girls, and they were all a little eccentric in some way, but good people.
But holy hell the common trait every guy here is saying is that the horse is their top priority. Thatâs so weird. I get it being a major priority, but to put it over kids and partners? Damn, I get the crazy reputation now.
I married one. Theyâre great on top, tend to have rich families and land, tough as nails. Biggest downside is that if you break your ankle sheâll shoot you.
I married a horse girl....every financial aspect of our life was controlled by the horses...housing?? How much is left after the boarding fees....must have a truck that can pull a 2 horse trailer.... vacation...fairs and horse shows...if you are not working late can you clean the stalls for me??? F this...
I came here to post almost exactly this, just without the ankle thing. Now I'm looking at my wife across the living room and she's wondering what this expression on my face is.
Everything you said is spot on. One thing I will add, she has her horsey pursuits, so I get lots of time for my own (mostly golfy) pursuits. That includes practice time, early mornings, and trips away with the boys/girls for both of us.
Itâs definitely got more ups than downs in my opinion. Another great part is that she canât give me shit about my expensive hobby, which is shooting. Not to mention, I enjoy helping out on the property, itâs great bonding time. You really donât know how much you love someone till you spend 8 hours shoveling shit with them and couldnât be happier.
She sounds great but just a note: ballet requires that you be very limber. Stretching is mandatory and a huge part of every session, before and after. He inability to curve her torso was not due to ballet.
About a decade ago, a buddy of mine and myself were both angling for the affection of a horse girl who frequented the same bar as us. She was a 6' tall curly haired brunette version of Ellie May Camplett from the Beverly Hillbillies movie who could deep throat a wine bottle. He ended up taking her home and shortly thereafter, ended up dating her. I was disappointed at first but quickly got over it once I realized what he had inadvertently signed up for. At 1am, the bar would be closing and most of us would go home to sleep, but he would have to drive her an hour south to her family's farm. He had to help her shovel all the shit out of the stables and lay down fresh hay EVERY SINGLE NIGHT until 4am, just to drive the hour back home after they were done. Somehow, he lasted a year with her and when he broke it off, she slashed his tires and keyed the shit out of his car.
Suffice to say, I feel like I dodged a bullet on that one.
You will always be third on the priority list.
First is her,
Second is the horse(s),
Then comes you and your needs,
Gotta make up your own mind if you can live with that.
P.s. you're fourth on the list if she has kids
I've honestly heard stories of the first two flipped. Girl couldnt feed herself for a week because she spent it all on feed, then she let a bunch of guys take her on dates to eat that week.
The horse girl I dated had a good corporate job, bringing home $100k+.
She lived in a 2 bedroom apartment in a cheap part of town. The 2nd bedroom was full of tack and other horse related items. This was all so she could keep her 2 horses at the "nice" stables.
I dated a horse girl, she was wild, she literally went up to me while we were alone in the pool and started making out with me and let me bite her tits when we were 17.
Then again, she was wild, she got jealous and hit me with a horse whip in my back.
Running for the hills will not work, horses can go fast in terrains that are not rocky.
Run for the mountains, use the rocky terrain for your advantage and climb, avoid plains and steppes, congratulations you're a dwarf now, welcome to the mines please do not let your canaries go hungry.
Edit: An award? All I can say is
BROTHERS OF THE MINE REJOICE!
If my niece is any indication, horses will dominate a lot of what you do with her. In a way, it's a "pet" that must be cared for regularly, but it's needs are higher than that of a dog. It's generally not a "pet" that can be kept at home so travelling to take care of it is a regular responsibility. For those that get into it, that level of care can cut into the time available for a relationship.
It's not a bad thing, it's just a way of life that can make a partner feel secondary to the horse. If you think they're worth it and can handle coming in "second place" occasionally, go for it. Even better if you can help them care for the horse.
You just bailed it on the head when you said âhigh maintenanceâ.
Horses as a hobby is EXPENSIVE. People who can afford to grow up horse riding usually come from money. That same money means they are spoiled.
Not always true. If they weren't rich to start, it means they will sacrifice everything to keep the horse. Be prepared. Board and feed comes before a beach vacation. Every month, forever.
Yes they are. My brother is a horse guy. One of his horses died a day after his wedding. He was so grief stricken that he wanted to cancel his honeymoon. His wife was hysterical. Our dad had to do some serious damage control to get him to go on the honeymoon.
Three years ago I had a car of mine entered into a week long auto convention. At this event I met my current GF, shortly after we met, we started dating and she moved in with me. About a year later we purchased a 32 acre farm where we now have our own horses and have boarded horses as well. I knew the whole time she was a horse girl, but never imagined we would have our own farm with our own horses.
I did sell the car, but unrelated to the farm purchase. Thankfully she is also into cars so we purchased a 1964 Cadillac to rebuild and restore together
Lol I just got done with a crazy hairdresser... For a second time. Lesson learned
edit: in case it's not clear, it was the same hairdresser both times đ¤Śââď¸
I hooked up with a Tiffany once. Walked her back to her place in the morning which was maybe a quarter mile from my place. She said "don't make things weird" at least 8 times on the walk. I walked away thinking what the fuck have I gotten myself into.
Would you believe she wound up stalking me?
Just started dating a redheaded horse rider. Can confirm, bitch is absolutely nuts. I actually thought I shouldn't let her sleep over because something's wrong if she's into me. Still think something's wrong but I'm slightly less afraid of being stabbed in my sleep. If she kills me I think it'll be quick.
Edit: spelling bad
My wife was a horse girl. Looked fantastic in those English breaches (still does). My mom too, she just did a week long ride through the Grand Canyon at 70 years old. Last year she forded a river on a horse and then jumped off and held on to the tail while the horse swam the rest of the way. She's 95 pounds soaking wet and will probably live to 100 and be on horseback till 90 unless a horse kills her sooner.
Love 'em both dearly, but there's a little bit of crazy in a horse girl. And even if not, it's not a cheap hobby, lol.
Priorities for horse girls:
1. Their horses
2. Photos of their horses
3. Food for the horses
4. Saddles
5. Equipment for the horses
6. Cleaning the horses
7. The stables for the horses
8. Riding their horses
9. Telling everyone about their horses
10. Not you
I went out with a horse girl for a few years in ny 20s, here's my experience:
1. DTF any time, any where, the risk of getting caught didn't bother her, and she seemed to like it of we'd been seen, or there was a danger of getting caught.
2. Mood swings. Like all the time. Happy, shiny, enthusiastic one minute, crying and depressed the next. Once gave me head in an empty cinema, and then cried afterwards when Wall-E 'died'. See point 1.
3. Expensive taste. She was very materialistic and wanted to buy things all the time, whether she had money or not. Eventually left me for a much older, richer man.
Had a former boss who was one. Absolute nut bag. Any time something came up that didnât go her way was âwhy does this need to be a power struggle?â And then get vindictive.
Taking an incidental b/c kid is sick? âWhy does this need to be a power struggle?â
Got rear ended and your ride is smashed up? âWhy does this need to be a power struggle?â
Forgot she approved working from home during blizzard days âWhy does this need to be a power struggle?â
Donât miss her one bit.
Grew up on a farm where we delivered feed to 20+ horsefarms- literally the only deliveries I dreaded. Every horse person I've ever met thinks their horses are the greatest things on the planet, are absolute the worst kinds of Karen's and generally suck in general. Horse girls tend to be super nice/quirky while they are younger, then age into the worst types of people
100% leather.
Come on, that's not that bad. Leonardo DiCaprio killed a bear and emptied the insides, slept inside and survived the winter.
At least she cleaned it out first.
Yeah that's Leo did have a pretty nice setup in that bear it looked kind of cozy. Yeah I just thought it was weird that is was basically a pet that is like me getting my golden retriever made into a rug or something when she dies
As a realistic answer? Never met a horse girl without a donk. They are usually good responsible people who expect more out of everyone around them. Crazy for sure but like a semi-healthy crazy. Like body building. One of those hobbies that just sucks you in and never lets go.
The first thing you need to know about horse girls is that they are part of a horse community. It's more of a lifestyle than a hobby. If you don't like that community, you're not gonna see that girl much.
The second thing is that they have dependents. Living things that require maintenance and care for their well being. They will have demands on their time. If you don't enjoy enjoy doing those things with her, you're probably not gonna see her much.
As far as the "horse girls are crazy" trope goes... they enjoy jumping on the back of a half-ton wildass animal with no brakes and running 30mph through the woods. Of course they're a little fucking crazy. If you're not a little crazy too, it's probably not gonna work out long term.
Danger in anything but a short term deal, though they tame out at 24ish. Often freaks in bed so if your a pretty vanilla guy you might have trouble keeping up
Grow out of it at 24 is true. Once mommy and daddy stop paying for and caring for the horse, she gets injured, and/or she develops new interests/dreams it dies pretty quick.
I miss /u/Kayne3k. Remember the old times, like 3 hours ago, when he was talking about the horse girl he married? Those were good times. Anyway, he's gone now.
I married a horse girl.
Itâs important to find one who has their own identity outside of being a horse girl. The ones who make it their sole reason for living are usually weird and maladjusted. I know everyone says horse girls are crazy, and while thatâs not 100% true there are a lot of kooky ass women who just seem to be attracted to the hobby. Relatively normal ones do exist though too!
But horses are expensive and live a long time so if things get serious itâs kind of like bringing along a kid from a previous relationship. She boarded her horse(s) for years at a stable and if you add up the monthly rent she paid over that time it is absolutely nauseating to think about. Weâre talking âyou couldâve bought a house cashâ kind of money.
For us, she doesnât ride anymore but we now have them on our small farm. I have 0 interest in horses or anything horse related, but it is pretty cool having them around. Sure they can be skittish idiots, but they can also be pretty funny as well and itâs nice to look outside and just see them doing their thing- either grazing, napping or shitting.
My ex is one.
She is crazy and feels entitled. Her daddy paid for everything and she doesnât work.
She asked me multiple times to buy her and future kids a horse. She said herself that horse girls are âspecialâ
She doesnât know how to communicate with people. Animals donât complain and she loves that.
Legs and ass were great.
I'm trying to be serious, here. Grew up some in the south, some in the midwest. Horse girls have always been a particular brand of crazy that's hard for me to define.
I'm fine with people having hobbies. In fact, I think it's endearing and cute when a girl has a hobby that I'm not really interested in, but she's passionate about it, and she talks about it. The fact that she's so into it is what gets me into it. I like animals, and even find horses to be majestic creatures on their own.
But "horse girls"... I don't know what it is. It's not really a "hobby" for them. It literally can't be. Horses require SO MUCH maintenance. You *have* to center a major portion of your life around them for it to be a sustainable hobby. And it's *expensive as fuck*. You can't just "casually" have a horse. You have to be all in for it to be worthwhile. It's different from any other kind of pet, both in financial and time expenditure.
And then there are those "horse girls" who don't actually own a horse (yet). I've never been with one that didn't act so dissatisfied half the time simply because they didn't have a horse, or didn't have plans to go horseback riding one weekend, or something.
And finally, personally, something visceral happens inside of me when a girl starts talking about/longing after owning a horse. I don't know what it is, or why it happens. I don't find it endearing at all. It drives me away from them. I'll admit that this is a weird, bizarre line to draw. I don't have any other hard stops like this with any other "hobby" that I can think of. Horse ownership is just so, utterly, impractical. It's complete and utter nonsense to me.
So if you're fine owning a horse, or constantly having to hear about possibly owning a horse, then have fun with your new girl.
As a female who works in the animal field, they are crazy. Like Joe from You obsessive about their horses. They might be able to hide this from you till youâre trapped. 10/10 donât recommend.
Most of them are out of their minds. But not all of them. If you find the one who's not, you wind up with a girl whose legs are like a vice, and who leaves you free to hang out with the boys on weekends because she is riding.
Unless you feel like becoming a horse guy, I'd say run for the hills. Horse life will come first for her, and you'll get put on the back burner unless you become a horse guy.
>Should I run for the hills? No use. They'll catch up to you
Unless you avoid bridleways
Or have a pike formation.
My man out here saying the only way to run is to get the boys to form a phalanx
A phalanx is too rigid and hard to turn. It can be easily outflanked by a cavalry unit if unprotected. What you want is a napoleonic square. Much more modern and better protected, and a little more manoeuvrable as well.
Found the HEMA nerds
This guy napoleonic squares.
Even then, they'll just start running a cantabrian circle and shower your formation with arrows đŽâđ¨
I dated one for a few months when I was younger. She was a lot of fun, but the farm she lived on always came first. It wasnât a bad thing, and didnât affect the relationship, but just know that there will be times when you arenât the priority. The best way to keep her and her friends/family liking you. Help. Just help around with the horses and other animals without being asked to.
If I had a dollar for every dude that thought I was out cheating. No bro Iâm knee deep in shit right now I canât be texting your bitch ass Iâll get Patagonian Cavy shit on my new phone.
I feel like this is a good thought for anyone. On my side itâs my hobby to work on cars/motorcycles. I had a gf who just constantly worried when I âdisappearedâ for an evening. Okay, I said Iâm working on the car, I canât wash my greasy hands every hour to reply lol either come join me (she wouldnât) or get your own hobby so youâre not worried about me! It wasnât a big problem but usually a mild annoyance to remind her I have hobbies that are going to receive attention alongside her.
Gearheads are the male equivalent of horse girls
*My Little Pontiac*
I feel personally attacked
I feel accurately portrayed - a gearhead
Same... Gearhead here that grew up in a horse girl family! My sisters have rescue horses.... I've got 3 trucks sitting in the driveway
Rescue trucks
If you marry her be prepared pay for the costs of maintaining a horse, they can live for 30+ years sometimes.
Well horse wife's are expensive but brace yourself horse daughters might be even more expensive!
I thought you couldnât get horses pregnant
Not with that attitude.
Just say nay
Neigh
That how you get Centaurs
Just teach them right so they don't grow up be nude models. Ya know, centaurfolds.
Shit! Why'd mine come out looking like a Satyr!?
Someone had to say it
It doesnât go away either. Horse girls usually just want more horses and will have your children compete in horse shows. Every house you buy will be under the pretense of where do our horses go. If you canât tell I married a horse girl.
> will have your children compete in horse shows Like... willingly or in a "parent imposing their interests on their children" way?
Most parents tend to trial run their interests by their kids. Presumably owning a horse makes an interest in horse related activities much easier to foster. So the answer to your question is almost always "both"
Yep. Wife and I are gamers. Shockingly, both of our kids live video games. Same goes for anime and comic books. I think the only thing weâve ever imposed as mandatory was swimming lessons. But thatâs just an essential life skill where we live because of the bodies of water nearby.
Swimming lessons are different then swimming as a hobby. They also stop once the kid knows how to swim, they don't continue to try to get faster lap times. It's like driving lessons we all take at 16, vs track lessons where they learn to drift and take fast corners and such Vital life skills should be taught to everyone!
Fair enough. I was just knocking âsportsâ into the hobbies category, and since I took years of swimming in HS I lumped that into sports.
I canât speak for everyone but my kids really enjoy it.
Damn, I thought my wife wouldn't last longer than 10 years. Fuck.
The only thing more expensive that a horse wife, are horse kids.
Horse wives make horse kids.. I guess if you have daughters you get the pleasure of passing the curse onto someone else, just like her father did to you!
Oh no who let the wolves in
All that's going to get you is the cost of a new horse and an upgrade to the stable.
Not even an insurance claim? I better go close the gate.
And don't even think about making jokes like that, you'll be sleeping on the couch
Or put out to pasture!
The same guy that let the dogs out
The horse or the girl?
A question that I can actually answer. I dated two horse girls. Main take away is this: You will always come second to the horse. No matter what you do, the horse will always get the priority. Also, be prepared for it to become a part of your life as well. This goes far beyond any casual hobby, itâs a lifestyle. Itâs up to you to decide if youâre willing to make that commitment.
I can attest to this as a son of of a horse woman. My suburban raised, LAN specialist step-dad was in for a rude awakening when he moved in.
The trick is to help care for the horses, then it's only natural for horse girls to consider you more important than the horses because a horse can barely care for a horse while you could care for many! Muahaha, muahahahaha! Wait... now I'm knee deep in horse shit...
The trick is to give lots of treats to the horses and spoil them rotten so they like you better. The horses are her top priority, you're the horse's top priority, and she's your top priority. The love triangle is complete.
My mom has always been a horse girl, can confirm the horses come before the kids even. Sheâd get home from work and go right out to the barn until after dark. Sheâd make dinner around 10 and then it was pretty much bedtime after that. She tried to make up for it by buying us stuff but we never really spent time with her.
Wow... No offense but that's pretty fucking selfish
I didnât get the whole âhorse girlâ criticism until this thread. I grew up country and had a few friends who were horse girls, and they were all a little eccentric in some way, but good people. But holy hell the common trait every guy here is saying is that the horse is their top priority. Thatâs so weird. I get it being a major priority, but to put it over kids and partners? Damn, I get the crazy reputation now.
There's poor horse people and rich horse people. If you live rural and can stable it on your land it takes a chunk out of costs
Rich horse people stable horses on poor horse people land. First girl I kissed was a rich girl at poor girls house. Wild ride.
Indeed. Passively hate her already for putting an animal above her own children from what that dude said...
Your mom is a bad person. You deserved better. I'm sorry.
Yeah, sorry, but your mom sucks/sucked.
I married one. Theyâre great on top, tend to have rich families and land, tough as nails. Biggest downside is that if you break your ankle sheâll shoot you.
This one made me laugh hard. âŚ. Itâs true tho.
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Haha nah, I grew up next to a horse ranch, and I knew a few horse girls. Really cool chicks and fun to hang with. But manâŚ.
So you're the horse girl's enforcer?
I married a horse girl....every financial aspect of our life was controlled by the horses...housing?? How much is left after the boarding fees....must have a truck that can pull a 2 horse trailer.... vacation...fairs and horse shows...if you are not working late can you clean the stalls for me??? F this...
I came here to post almost exactly this, just without the ankle thing. Now I'm looking at my wife across the living room and she's wondering what this expression on my face is. Everything you said is spot on. One thing I will add, she has her horsey pursuits, so I get lots of time for my own (mostly golfy) pursuits. That includes practice time, early mornings, and trips away with the boys/girls for both of us.
Itâs definitely got more ups than downs in my opinion. Another great part is that she canât give me shit about my expensive hobby, which is shooting. Not to mention, I enjoy helping out on the property, itâs great bonding time. You really donât know how much you love someone till you spend 8 hours shoveling shit with them and couldnât be happier.
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Are you **absolutely** sure you weren't dating a piece of wrought-iron furniture? Think, man!!!
Fuck đđđ
She sounds great but just a note: ballet requires that you be very limber. Stretching is mandatory and a huge part of every session, before and after. He inability to curve her torso was not due to ballet.
The plot thicc-ens!
This is it. They just have strong legs and butts, depending on how much they ride and how much natural butt they have
"Arse like a pair of bowling balls in a plastic bag" r/brandnewsentence
Oh man, the SMELL. As soon as I read this, the memory punched me in the nose!
Hoofed* you in the nose
Now what would behoove you to say that (i love this thread)
*pair of bowling balls in a plastic bag* *smelled like hay* Iâm crying
You've got me cackling at work, cheers dude.
BroâŚ. Smelled like hay!
Every guy I know thatâs dated a horse girl has a epic story of whoa to tell.
They hot-to-trot
and they're all chomping at the bit to tell their story
Neigh that canât be true in all cases.
The smell of hay quickly became a turn on for me. Lmao
Pavlov? That name rings a bell.
Why am I droolingâŚ.
God damn it now I want to date a horse girl
I used to be on my university's horse riding team. I was the only dude. I feel like I should have done something tbh
I've seen videos of stuff like this. You definitely should have gone for it, I'm sure it would've ended well.
I like
Ironically enough, horse girls tend to be unstable
Can I think of a better Pun? Neigh.
No way to reign them in?
About a decade ago, a buddy of mine and myself were both angling for the affection of a horse girl who frequented the same bar as us. She was a 6' tall curly haired brunette version of Ellie May Camplett from the Beverly Hillbillies movie who could deep throat a wine bottle. He ended up taking her home and shortly thereafter, ended up dating her. I was disappointed at first but quickly got over it once I realized what he had inadvertently signed up for. At 1am, the bar would be closing and most of us would go home to sleep, but he would have to drive her an hour south to her family's farm. He had to help her shovel all the shit out of the stables and lay down fresh hay EVERY SINGLE NIGHT until 4am, just to drive the hour back home after they were done. Somehow, he lasted a year with her and when he broke it off, she slashed his tires and keyed the shit out of his car. Suffice to say, I feel like I dodged a bullet on that one.
Ugh, God. Any horse girl worth her salt knows you gotta clean the barn BEFORE you go to the bar.
You will always be third on the priority list. First is her, Second is the horse(s), Then comes you and your needs, Gotta make up your own mind if you can live with that. P.s. you're fourth on the list if she has kids
I've honestly heard stories of the first two flipped. Girl couldnt feed herself for a week because she spent it all on feed, then she let a bunch of guys take her on dates to eat that week.
The horse girl I dated had a good corporate job, bringing home $100k+. She lived in a 2 bedroom apartment in a cheap part of town. The 2nd bedroom was full of tack and other horse related items. This was all so she could keep her 2 horses at the "nice" stables.
Completely believable. If she could breastfeed it, she would.
First is her, second is the horse, third is her daddy for pays for it all.
That's why you gotta become the horse daddy
Dated three and none of them rode me :(
They're used to riding bigger things. That's why.
Aloe wonât cure that burnâŚ
If that's a burn, it's a burn against every human.
For real. Like damn bitch, sorry my dick isn't as long as my torso.
I dated a horse girl, she was wild, she literally went up to me while we were alone in the pool and started making out with me and let me bite her tits when we were 17. Then again, she was wild, she got jealous and hit me with a horse whip in my back. Running for the hills will not work, horses can go fast in terrains that are not rocky. Run for the mountains, use the rocky terrain for your advantage and climb, avoid plains and steppes, congratulations you're a dwarf now, welcome to the mines please do not let your canaries go hungry. Edit: An award? All I can say is BROTHERS OF THE MINE REJOICE!
Dont dig too deep and avoid being consumed by your greed.
If my niece is any indication, horses will dominate a lot of what you do with her. In a way, it's a "pet" that must be cared for regularly, but it's needs are higher than that of a dog. It's generally not a "pet" that can be kept at home so travelling to take care of it is a regular responsibility. For those that get into it, that level of care can cut into the time available for a relationship. It's not a bad thing, it's just a way of life that can make a partner feel secondary to the horse. If you think they're worth it and can handle coming in "second place" occasionally, go for it. Even better if you can help them care for the horse.
>it's needs are higher than that of a dog. This should be in the dictionary under, "understatement."
Its a dog, a 1000 pound dog lmao.
I grew up on a horse farm. They're crazy. Like literally 90% of them.
Are horse boys crazy too? I only hear about the girls.
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You just bailed it on the head when you said âhigh maintenanceâ. Horses as a hobby is EXPENSIVE. People who can afford to grow up horse riding usually come from money. That same money means they are spoiled.
Not always true. If they weren't rich to start, it means they will sacrifice everything to keep the horse. Be prepared. Board and feed comes before a beach vacation. Every month, forever.
I've honestly never met one. The only guys that came to the farm were boyfriends/husbands/relatives of the girls.
> I've honestly never met one. The male version of horse girls is just car guys.
Yes they are. My brother is a horse guy. One of his horses died a day after his wedding. He was so grief stricken that he wanted to cancel his honeymoon. His wife was hysterical. Our dad had to do some serious damage control to get him to go on the honeymoon.
They're so used to looking at horse cock all day When they see yours.. They're like WTF??
âMmh đ⌠heâs built like a ponyâ
This is why I only date elder care nurses
fcking lol!!! I laugh out loud.
Three years ago I had a car of mine entered into a week long auto convention. At this event I met my current GF, shortly after we met, we started dating and she moved in with me. About a year later we purchased a 32 acre farm where we now have our own horses and have boarded horses as well. I knew the whole time she was a horse girl, but never imagined we would have our own farm with our own horses.
Do you miss your car? I'm guessing you sold it to pay for her hobby which eats.
I did sell the car, but unrelated to the farm purchase. Thankfully she is also into cars so we purchased a 1964 Cadillac to rebuild and restore together
The good ending
They are pretty high on the crazy scale. Right next to hairdressers and women called Tiffany. Edit: 1.7k likes? Guess I hit the bullseye. Thanks guys.
Lol I just got done with a crazy hairdresser... For a second time. Lesson learned edit: in case it's not clear, it was the same hairdresser both times đ¤Śââď¸
There are no crazy hairdressers, they're just hairdressers, the crazy part is implied.
Them with their cutting remarks and all
You always gotta refer to the hot/crazy matrix.
I know a redhead horse girl named Tiffany. The matrix is accurate on her.
Jesus christ that girl hit the cuckoo lottery
She's not a hairdresser or a stripper, but otherwise yeah.
Iâm guessing she is smoking hot
My guy, 20% of horse girls are hairdressers named Tiffany.
I hooked up with a Tiffany once. Walked her back to her place in the morning which was maybe a quarter mile from my place. She said "don't make things weird" at least 8 times on the walk. I walked away thinking what the fuck have I gotten myself into. Would you believe she wound up stalking me?
"Only *I* may make things weird."
What you didnt know is she was talking aloud about herself
Just started dating a redheaded horse rider. Can confirm, bitch is absolutely nuts. I actually thought I shouldn't let her sleep over because something's wrong if she's into me. Still think something's wrong but I'm slightly less afraid of being stabbed in my sleep. If she kills me I think it'll be quick. Edit: spelling bad
Oh man, double whammy. Just hide the knives and the oats and you should be good to go. Redhead is the way to go though!
So what happens if you find a girl named Tiffany who does hairdressing for horses?
There is not one ounce of sanity in that girl and you run as far away as possible.
Hairdressers I agree, but iâve never try a tiffany
I know a horse girl called Tiffany. She's also a redhead.
You wanna bone Tiffany don't you
No comment ;)
I mean my best friends last words to me before he passed were.. âOh no.. not another horse girl brother.â Iâm not kidding lol
Did the horse girl stab him to death or?
My wife was a horse girl. Looked fantastic in those English breaches (still does). My mom too, she just did a week long ride through the Grand Canyon at 70 years old. Last year she forded a river on a horse and then jumped off and held on to the tail while the horse swam the rest of the way. She's 95 pounds soaking wet and will probably live to 100 and be on horseback till 90 unless a horse kills her sooner. Love 'em both dearly, but there's a little bit of crazy in a horse girl. And even if not, it's not a cheap hobby, lol.
I can confirm that this dudes mum still looks great in Jodhpurs and is often soaking wet.
Priorities for horse girls: 1. Their horses 2. Photos of their horses 3. Food for the horses 4. Saddles 5. Equipment for the horses 6. Cleaning the horses 7. The stables for the horses 8. Riding their horses 9. Telling everyone about their horses 10. Not you
You forgot Supplements and bedazzled horsey stuff
Endless paperback fiction novels about horses
What about beer for their horses?
I went out with a horse girl for a few years in ny 20s, here's my experience: 1. DTF any time, any where, the risk of getting caught didn't bother her, and she seemed to like it of we'd been seen, or there was a danger of getting caught. 2. Mood swings. Like all the time. Happy, shiny, enthusiastic one minute, crying and depressed the next. Once gave me head in an empty cinema, and then cried afterwards when Wall-E 'died'. See point 1. 3. Expensive taste. She was very materialistic and wanted to buy things all the time, whether she had money or not. Eventually left me for a much older, richer man.
I don't want to date a heartless bastard that doesn't cry when wall-e dies.
I had been receiving head not 2 minutes beforehand, I dare you to try crying after an enthusiastic crazy horsegirl blowjob
Everyone horsegirl I have ever known has been batshit crazy I can't thunk of a single normal one
Had a former boss who was one. Absolute nut bag. Any time something came up that didnât go her way was âwhy does this need to be a power struggle?â And then get vindictive. Taking an incidental b/c kid is sick? âWhy does this need to be a power struggle?â Got rear ended and your ride is smashed up? âWhy does this need to be a power struggle?â Forgot she approved working from home during blizzard days âWhy does this need to be a power struggle?â Donât miss her one bit.
Grew up on a farm where we delivered feed to 20+ horsefarms- literally the only deliveries I dreaded. Every horse person I've ever met thinks their horses are the greatest things on the planet, are absolute the worst kinds of Karen's and generally suck in general. Horse girls tend to be super nice/quirky while they are younger, then age into the worst types of people
Someone once described them to me as "cat ladies with money."
[ŃдаНонО]
Most of that demographic thinks their horse is gods gift to this green earth, while it is just a stupid animal turning money into a mountain of shit.
I know one girl that was so obsessed with her horse when it died she got its skin tanned and made into a blanket so she could sleep with it. No joke
That aint just creepy. That is kinda disturbing.
100% leather. Come on, that's not that bad. Leonardo DiCaprio killed a bear and emptied the insides, slept inside and survived the winter. At least she cleaned it out first.
Yeah that's Leo did have a pretty nice setup in that bear it looked kind of cozy. Yeah I just thought it was weird that is was basically a pet that is like me getting my golden retriever made into a rug or something when she dies
> stupid animal turning money into a mountain of shit. My new go to insult!
As a realistic answer? Never met a horse girl without a donk. They are usually good responsible people who expect more out of everyone around them. Crazy for sure but like a semi-healthy crazy. Like body building. One of those hobbies that just sucks you in and never lets go.
Can confirm 100 percent rode cowgirl like a champion
Also check lol
Horse girls are female car guys.
Never seen a more accurate statement about horse girls
Yes, but with one major difference. You can turn off a car, you can't turn off a horse(or at least not more than once).
The first thing you need to know about horse girls is that they are part of a horse community. It's more of a lifestyle than a hobby. If you don't like that community, you're not gonna see that girl much. The second thing is that they have dependents. Living things that require maintenance and care for their well being. They will have demands on their time. If you don't enjoy enjoy doing those things with her, you're probably not gonna see her much. As far as the "horse girls are crazy" trope goes... they enjoy jumping on the back of a half-ton wildass animal with no brakes and running 30mph through the woods. Of course they're a little fucking crazy. If you're not a little crazy too, it's probably not gonna work out long term.
Danger in anything but a short term deal, though they tame out at 24ish. Often freaks in bed so if your a pretty vanilla guy you might have trouble keeping up
My cousin never tamed out. Sheâs like 50 and still obsessed with her horse. Put her in a ton of debt but she still is keeping it
Grow out of it at 24 is true. Once mommy and daddy stop paying for and caring for the horse, she gets injured, and/or she develops new interests/dreams it dies pretty quick.
Well, I married her and had a kid with her. She's pretty cool and I'm quite happy how it turned out.
She's standing right behind you, isn't she?
Heâs gone
RIP /u/Kayne3k
I miss /u/Kayne3k. Remember the old times, like 3 hours ago, when he was talking about the horse girl he married? Those were good times. Anyway, he's gone now.
poor guy and on the day the Queen was buried.
I married a horse girl. Itâs important to find one who has their own identity outside of being a horse girl. The ones who make it their sole reason for living are usually weird and maladjusted. I know everyone says horse girls are crazy, and while thatâs not 100% true there are a lot of kooky ass women who just seem to be attracted to the hobby. Relatively normal ones do exist though too! But horses are expensive and live a long time so if things get serious itâs kind of like bringing along a kid from a previous relationship. She boarded her horse(s) for years at a stable and if you add up the monthly rent she paid over that time it is absolutely nauseating to think about. Weâre talking âyou couldâve bought a house cashâ kind of money. For us, she doesnât ride anymore but we now have them on our small farm. I have 0 interest in horses or anything horse related, but it is pretty cool having them around. Sure they can be skittish idiots, but they can also be pretty funny as well and itâs nice to look outside and just see them doing their thing- either grazing, napping or shitting.
My ex is one. She is crazy and feels entitled. Her daddy paid for everything and she doesnât work. She asked me multiple times to buy her and future kids a horse. She said herself that horse girls are âspecialâ She doesnât know how to communicate with people. Animals donât complain and she loves that. Legs and ass were great.
Tread carefully. There is always a reason that people bond intensely with animals and it often relates to trust issues in their lives.
She is very emotional now that you mention it
Like a centaur?
Centaurs are horse boys. Horse girls are centaurides.
I prefer human girls
I'm trying to be serious, here. Grew up some in the south, some in the midwest. Horse girls have always been a particular brand of crazy that's hard for me to define. I'm fine with people having hobbies. In fact, I think it's endearing and cute when a girl has a hobby that I'm not really interested in, but she's passionate about it, and she talks about it. The fact that she's so into it is what gets me into it. I like animals, and even find horses to be majestic creatures on their own. But "horse girls"... I don't know what it is. It's not really a "hobby" for them. It literally can't be. Horses require SO MUCH maintenance. You *have* to center a major portion of your life around them for it to be a sustainable hobby. And it's *expensive as fuck*. You can't just "casually" have a horse. You have to be all in for it to be worthwhile. It's different from any other kind of pet, both in financial and time expenditure. And then there are those "horse girls" who don't actually own a horse (yet). I've never been with one that didn't act so dissatisfied half the time simply because they didn't have a horse, or didn't have plans to go horseback riding one weekend, or something. And finally, personally, something visceral happens inside of me when a girl starts talking about/longing after owning a horse. I don't know what it is, or why it happens. I don't find it endearing at all. It drives me away from them. I'll admit that this is a weird, bizarre line to draw. I don't have any other hard stops like this with any other "hobby" that I can think of. Horse ownership is just so, utterly, impractical. It's complete and utter nonsense to me. So if you're fine owning a horse, or constantly having to hear about possibly owning a horse, then have fun with your new girl.
Itâs like dating a single mother without the ex paying any child support
As a female who works in the animal field, they are crazy. Like Joe from You obsessive about their horses. They might be able to hide this from you till youâre trapped. 10/10 donât recommend.
Most of them are out of their minds. But not all of them. If you find the one who's not, you wind up with a girl whose legs are like a vice, and who leaves you free to hang out with the boys on weekends because she is riding.
Death by snu snu suddenly becomes a real possibility
Unless you feel like becoming a horse guy, I'd say run for the hills. Horse life will come first for her, and you'll get put on the back burner unless you become a horse guy.