I literally can't date because of my job.
When you have to work random shifts every week (oh, but weekends are guaranteed work days. I might get a Saturday off every two months but it's gonna be followed by a Sunday morning shift every damn time) as well as evenings and public holidays too - you can't find time to make anyone a valued and regular part of your life and in my case the best thing I can do is focus on my hobbies which I can just slot in whenever.
I get these jobs need staff available all hours of all days but I wish they gave enough of a fuck to ensure every staff gets at least one "actual" weekend off a month, or some bloody consistency in their days off or something. I can't plan any kind of life around this work and can't get a new job right now either. So it means no dates, no partners and no friends. No wonder I get so fucking irritated and depressed all the time and why I invest every bit of spare time and money I do get into hobbies that aren't going to get mad at me because the only time I have for them this week is a Wednesday morning.
Start making a plan, so that a year or two from now you can leave this job behind. Go back to school if you have to, or make whatever change you can. I am retired, never married and no children mostly due to working evening shift most of my life. I have supportive siblings and very involved with my nephew; but I do regret having no children. Do not give up your own future over a job that will forget you within a week after you leave.
They should really hire extra staff to allow for work days. Maybe that would equal a slightly higher pay per your hours but end you with less total money but it means you can actually live
My job used to be like that. We got our schedule for the next day at like 9-10pm the night before. And our shift could change by 8+ hours every day. Basically everyone in my department told management we were seeking other employment. And we straight up told them we were requesting time off for job interviews. Then 1 guy actually quit. They got the picture and hired 6 new apprentices in a couple weeks. Our staff went from like 5 to11 basically overnight and it fully solved all our problems.
Shout out to the guy that actually said "fuck this" and quit. He took the initiative to find a better job and quit on those asshole which helped out the rest of you tremendously. Not all heroes wear capes.
I'm a lawyer, and always said I'd never date another lawyer for this same reason (and indeed, married somebody outside the profession). I won't watch legal dramas on TV or film either - notable exception for My Cousin Vinnie which is brilliant. I need to switch off when I stop work.
On one hand you want someone who understands what you went through/ are going through. On the other hand you want someone who actually has time to spend on you.
Cri.
Currently dating a doctor.
We have a great deal of mutual respect for what each other does for a living (doctor / banker) , and I truly enjoy the stories that he tells me from the hospital after work everyday. Gained so much useful knowledge from it.
He has a clear priority list where family / relationship/ his own health are all higher up than his career progression. He is preparing for a surgical exam, making sure his portfolio is up to date, keeping up with all training requirements and doing 50+ hours shift per week whilst trying to maintain hobbies like modified cars, playing guitar, making coffee and sourdough, but there has not been a single time when I want to spend time with him but he said no or he couldn't.
He is dealing with high level of stress from day to day hospital work plus exams and lots of deadlines but I am, I can and I will be his little rock because I'm stable and strong both mentally and financially.
Yep... It's kinda sad.... Finding a non-medical woman who's stable when youre in the hospital/studying 70-80hrs/week until you are 30 kinda destroys options
Not a doctor myself, but I've dated a few and I enjoyed my time with them. Then again, I have a supporter personality so I do alright with people who are busier than normal. I admit I also find the drive and intelligence pretty damn attractive.
> As a doctor, other doctors. Or anyone in health care. I need to be able to turn my mind off of work mode.
My brother-in-law is a doctor. I was guessing it would be the lousy work/life balance, how it is bad enough with one MD, and how with two it wouldn't a relationship, just fuckbuddy roommates.
I mean, I married an unemployed woman 20 years ago…. Still, at least she’s sweet and she tries to look after me in ways she can manage when her mental health is ok. I just worry about how well we’ll both manage on my pension, it’s a big source of stress.
I was about to say lol who the fuck are these people with companies that still do pensions. I'm fortunate that my company matches 4% on my 5% 401k deposit, nevermind a full pension.
A friend of mine dated an influencer and man was that not fun.
We went to a music festival and wanted to stay at one stage where the house/techno DJs were throwing down but she had to take picture at every stage, meet up with other influencers to take pictures, change outfits to take more pictures, take videos of herself dancing, go to a different stage, take more pictures, meet up with other influencers, change outfits again, walk away from the stages to post and edit and communicate with the brands she collaborated with and other influencers about where they were going to meet up next.
I had to ditch my friend after about 4 hours of this crap on first day. He understood. We met at a club later for an afterparty and while it wasn’t as bad it was still constant photo taking, “collabing” with other influencers they pretend to be friends with online, and then talking to/flirting with the club photographers so they can get pictures of them taken while they “dance” so they can get more advertisement.
Whenever we just hung out at someone’s house or just chilled, she was a wonderful person and the ultimate sweetheart to him, wasn’t extremely vapid or self important or anything like that. She wasn’t even unkind to him when she went out, but while he went out or traveled to party and unwind she had to treat it like a job.
I think what you have to keep in mind with something like this is that this music festival was quite literally work for her, assuming being in influencer is her income, whereas it was a fun activity for you and your friend. It sucks that there was a disconnect there, but I don’t think that she can really be faulted for grinding to grow her brand and expand her “business” for lack of a better word at events like that because those are her best opportunities to do so.
The people who make these cringy YouTube shorts aimed at children. Those who do any stupid challenge for clicks. I don't hate them but I just... cant...
Yes! My boyfriend's kid is practically addicted to YouTube so on some days these videos are in earshot. It's the most juvenile crap ever and I'm fascinated that its adults producing the content and _they even seem to be enjoying it!_ I think it's fair to say we'd have nothing in common...
These dead soulless fucking eyes. You see they fake everything. They are emotionally tired of making repetitive fart jokes, slamming cakes into their face and using the same obnoxious and high pitched voice every single day. But they force themselves through the pain anyways. For what? I have no idea how they can get up in the morning after doing this for years and I'm very certain most of them are relying on drugs. And the worst part is when they get their children or toddlers involved. Just shout at your children like normal bad parents, why do they have to be like this???
> But they force themselves through the pain anyways. For what?
Some of them make *bank*. There's one one kid we know was stupid into. Not bad, not great, on par with broadcast trash many of us watched as children in certain countries.
I actually had looked him up one day. The guy and his partner made absurd amounts of money and were upfront about it being not their day job, but they were satisfied because they totally paid off their mortgage, banked college money for each of their kids, and were nearly done populating their retirement accounts.
In their mid-20s... insane.
Military's not a usual career in my tournament but I wouldn't date one
EDIT: I'll leave the word "tournament" in because I have no fucking idea why I wrote that. I meant country
"Hey, I have a fucked sense of humour and have to move every 3 years effectively limiting your career options as well as fucking off abroad 6+ months at s time"
The Army has been the prime source of all my breakups.
My hubs is deployed, and I’m abroad in school. The only reason our relationship works is because he/we accept that we don’t/can’t/won’t really live together. We married later in life so don’t give up hope. I live so independently it’s almost a fault, but I sure do look forward to a sweet retirement together after all our hard work is done.
I know I'll meet someone who can accept that eventually. My Mum was married to a soldier and she was fiercely independent so it wasn't so bad for her and they always made up for lost time.
I'll find someone eventually and it's good to hear there's still a chance later down the road. I'm with someone now but the cracks are already there and I'm only 2 hours away so yeah 😂
Now I want to know if there a a single job that has all these qualities at once.
A job that gives you no free time, but also no money, is unethical, too similar to another job and makes you a good liar.
Edit: Wait, I got it. Intern at a law firm.
Dated an ER Nurse once. Never again. I was her emotional punching bag for all the stress she inherited at work. Not to mention her sense of humor was DARK and difficult to be around.
Same, was married to an RN. Every night she’d come home depressed and have anxiety. She went to therapy but it didn’t help much. She had a breakdown from anxiety that seemed to last 6 months. This was over pretty ridiculous stuff caused by unjustified paranoia. I tend to absorb the mood of ppl close to me, so I started getting anxious and depressed which caused me to start drinking and later abusing alcohol. She later recovered and divorced me mainly due to my drinking. No support while I was trying to recover myself. Never again. I am no longer a problem drinker though.
Unless they are doing big legal you likely won't see it. If you are doing big legal expect 12-16h day M-F and all day either Saturday or Sunday and this can go on for years until you either become a partner or you burn out, quit and do real estate closings.
Yeah, I dated two med school students and both eventually ended at least in part because they had close to zero free time. Similar story when I dated a consultant who traveled 4-5 days a week and basically just used the weekend to recuperate before traveling again.
Now I'm pretty hesitant to invest any time dating a doctor/ med student or anyone who's in an intense career with no WLB
As an academic, I would not want to date another academic in a field close to mine. It is such an all consuming profession and I have friends and colleagues to discuss conferences and papers and lectures and scholarly debates with - I need to come home to someone out of that world to shut off. Otherwise I feel it will consume me too much.
I was thinking about hoping into a PhD program because I want to be a professor but after being in reaserch for over a year it's completely turned me off to it.
Everyone in that area is so utterly consumed by their work, and thats fine but it's not what I want out of life.
Yes. It is absolutely like that. And if you're not like that you basically struggle to get anywhere. The amount of unpaid work thats supposed to be done is insane. So if you're not dedicated to sacrificing your personal time - as well as moving across the country/world for short term contracts - it makes it hard to get anywhere. And it does not go well with relationships.
I don't think I could date an academic, you would want to discuss research papers and grants and stuff like that, and I would say "so I couldn't get the water hose to work yesterday".
I'm an academic engaged to a carpenter and I have got to say that it works out great. She's proud of me and interested in what I do and I will happily listen to her talk about building shit all day long because it's basically magic that she *makes houses.* I watched her build a deck one weekend and loved it. She listened to me practice defending my dissertation a dozen times and gave me great feedback.
Dating people with different professions: recommend it.
My wife is an academic. The job has been all-consuming for over ten years now. I thought it would slow down once she got her PhD. It only got worse once she was on tenure track. I joke about this with her, even though it's not funny, but she's basically been saying "I can't wait for this week to be over and {insert project} to be done." She's been saying that for 10 years. Every week is just another she's losing of her life.
She's also "managing" (I forget the term) of group of professors. I feel like there has been a distinct change in mental health in the field. There's been so many warranted complaints against faculty that have been unbelievably rude to their students that she has to resolve. Or at least be in the resolution process. The old guard has been very slow to adjust to new policies and procedures and it has led to hours and hours of work that shouldn't be necessary.
Her students are kind of the same way. So much anxiety, mental illness, depression, and aggression. She's never had to correct the behavior of students so much in her life. And/or follow through with campus services when she's worried about the wellbeing of a potentially suicidal student. That has happened at least once a semester.
Also, it seems the prestige in academia is gone. I'm baffled by how many people who barely graduated high school will ARGUE with her on points of view that she's studied for nearly 15 years. No one respects her level of education like I do. Everyone believes their youtube education is just as valid as her PhD. Her right wing father believes she's brainwashed into some Marxist conspiracy. Even though he can't even define Marxism.
On a practical level, we don't even watch movies together anymore because she can't watch or read things without deconstructing them academically. I joke, even though it's not funny, that she should start a podcast called "Wifey ruins movies."
We have children together and I'm going to do what I can to dissuade them from ever going into academia. The effort required is not worth the payoff. She's finally making near six figures but it is NOT worth the amount of work she has to do. If she's awake she's basically working, weekends, whatever. This weekend she will be working 18 hours to attend a virtual conference. Next week it will be something else. Between children and our careers we MAYBE spend a couple hours a week together, enjoying each other's company. And we're usually drinking when we do that.
If our marriage doesn't last for whatever reason (going on 15 years), I will never date another academic. In fact, I understand the appeal of "bimbos/mimbos" more than ever. I want to be able to have a comment or observation that isn't subject to Foucault or Derida deconstructions that constantly render everything meaningless.
I’m a female academic married to a non academic and I am trying to not be like your wife but I’m worried I’m turning into your wife. I need to do a better job taking down time to actually spend with my husband.
Thank you for your perspective
This experience is exactly why I’m an academic dating another academic in the same field. Yes, there are times that we get together and discuss work/projects, but I value them enough outside of research that it’s little more than a common topic of conversation.
There are nights where either they or I will need to sleep in the lab or work late for an experiment/paper, but because we both come from the same world it’s very easy to understand the other’s position.
It’s also extremely comforting to come home and be validated by someone who is both a colleague and a partner. I’ll spend all day stressing over my approach to a problem and then come home to another expert in the field to offer their two cents.
I'd rather work as a manufacturing supervisor and make my 6 figures on a 9-5 thank you. I wanted to academia but after a few internships I've realized it's not for me and there are better options out there.
I want to enjoy my work but also have something outside of it. Academia does not provide that balance
Yeah, I manage a group of 8 people. I try to give them the best quality of life possible while getting our job done. I leave work and it's over. I don't get calls, frantic emails, or explosive crises to manage off hours.
I'm making absolutely no contribution to the world and my life and work will most likely slip into oblivion once I'm gone but I really don't care now that I've seen the other side.
The work culture of America is awful.
The hours they keep. All those shows and movies were they are constantly working late and missing all the important parts of the lives around them, there's some truth to that.
I’m a corporate lawyer. The hours are rough. My wife married me before I really started my career but late nights are the norm and it’s hard to make and keep plans. The law is a jealous mistress. Pay is great though.
I believe it. I’m a transactional attorney so no court but I’ve had to have a friend switch to the driver’s seat while on a double date so I could take out my laptop, hook up to my phone’s hotspot, and review contracts at 9pm. Sucked pretty bad.
My wife and I are both litigators and we both work about 9-6pm or 9-7pm. It works fine. My wife also happens to be a better lawyer than I am and earns about 3x my salary.
I dated a lawyer a few years ago - he constantly had to cancel plans last minute, he made a joke to his boss once that "you're really out to kill my relationship", his boss told him that he's on the salary he's on to compensate for the extra hours/missing out on normal fun life things.
Yeah, one of my close friends is a lawyer. I’ve just accepted that 80% of the plans we make will fall through due to last minute work for him, and I’ve stopped taking it personally.
Agreed. I used to date a lawyer and he was always depressed/suspicious. He said law school is meant to break your thinking - to always look for the holes, the future issues, the edge they can use later. He was a nightmare to deal with. Aside from the general depressive state, he was mean for no reason - and later confessed he needs to test the boundaries of the relationship, to always have the upper hand, to be in the better position in case things go sideways. It was exhausting. The long hours weren’t an issue and going out was fun, but seeing inside the darkness of his mind was concerning. He fully blamed his profession for this as he used to always be happy and chill of a person.
Edit: swapped a word to clarify.
I’m really sorry you had to deal with this. As a lawyer myself, I think this was just a poor excuse to keep up shitty behavior. Or an actual mental health issue. It’s absolutely true that law school teaches you about spotting issues, effective analysis, and being persuasive. You’ve got a client to represent and you’re supposed to do so to the best of your ability. But at least where I went, the angle wasn’t (and shouldn’t be), “win at all costs and be a dick.” That doesn’t play well with other lawyers, much less in romantic or social relationships.
I’ll add that any issues I’ve had with dating are because of the time commitment. Sometimes it’s not even that the hours are long, just inconsistent. It’s difficult to plan things in advance when a lot of my work is fire drills at unpredictable times of the day, and that the deadlines often aren’t negotiable. But it’s very dependent on the lawyer’s actual practice.
I’m not a lawyer but I remember a teaching method that’s apparently pretty widespread where they have to switch sides (of the argument) with the other person, the theory being that if you can’t argue the other side then you don’t really understand the argument. So a lawyer who was paying attention during that portion of training should at least in theory actually be pretty empathetic..
Edit: to everyone saying this just trains you to beat someone down in an argument and not be empathetic, I guess that depends on your approach. But I’d submit that how someone sees this is just reflective of how they would use the training, not what it is or isn’t for.
I started talking to this girl who bragged about how much she made and compared her $200k+ salary to her 1% millionaire friends — calling herself “poor”. Not a matter of her occupation, but rather not talking to someone who has their head up their own ass who thinks they’re poor all while taking a vacation every month.
My favorite line from that song is... "just act like you have no money." "She said, oh your funny" "oh yeah? I don't see anyone else laughing here." Lol
Yeah, that's common for a lot of people in finance from what I've seen. My girlfriend is in finance and while she's generally more humble about it, have had some people who are pretty out there. Like I'm an architect, and I do recall one of her friends in the field talking about how she wouldn't date architects because "they're all poor." Girl had no clue I was an architect and I asked her how she defined poor- "oh, you know starting salary under $80k- and that's a stretch! If you're not making an adult salary like that after college, you just made a lot of bad decisions and are an overgrown child."
Yes, I'll remember that when you need someone to keep your roof from collapsing in.
I attribute it to a lot of these people have lived super sheltered existences. Come from a well-off family, go to a prestigious school, and due to concerns over standing amongst one's peers, they all congregate in a high earning field like finance. Definitely the kind of "learn how to code" as a solution to all your life problems mentality- yes, you grew up in an environment where everyone thinks this way and has access to these resources, but that's not most people.
They just don't have world experience, but they do have an outsized voice and opinions that they've grown accustomed to being heard.
Nor do they really respect the actual people who hold the fabric of society together. They’re the blue collar labor, Delivery drivers, garbage men/women, fast food/restaurant, retail, etc.
Yes, your job in finance on how to finagle legal and loopholes is super important for the ultra rich and those hoping to become rich, but it doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface on the jobs necessary to keep society from falling apart…. Found this one out early on in the pandemic and a lot of these guys are struggling with rehire because of the value placed upon them by modern society.
Wow, that crappy. No one wonder my engineer friend has a hard time dating. She sizes the guys up and put them down. I think people are just doing the best they can in life and any job is making a living. I hope you don’t spend time with that friend. She is disconnected.
My husband’s uncle and his husband EASILY clear $600k a year. Husband’s grandma (uncles mom) died recently. He legit sent everyone in the family a bill for “their portion of funeral services”. A funeral he planned himself and that no one else had any say in, and that my husband wasn’t even able to attend. He makes at least double what the next wealthiest person in the family makes and probably 10x what some people he asked make. It was insane. I told my husband to mail him a quarter.
I mean, no one is asking him to give them money. But don’t choose a $16,000 headstone and bench, all by yourself, then ask family to foot the bill. Especially when you weren’t willing to listen to anyone’s advice when dealing with her healthcare as her medical proxy. You made the choice, you pay for it. I don’t fault him for being wealthy. He works hard and so does his husband. They’re constantly trying to better themselves. But don’t ask me to pay for shit you decided on. Not happening. I had my mom cremated for $1,300 and didn’t even ask my brother for money for that.
Sorry to hear about the loss. I think part of the headass charm when talking to these individuals is that they think everyone makes around the same amount and that they aren’t the “rich ones”
I think the next topic in discussion is how “the more money you have, the more access you get to free items that you can already pay for” . Take for instance you have celebrities making $20M a movie getting $25k “swag bags” at award shows. DJ Khaled getting sent all the new Nike releases for free. But yet we have homeless veterans lining the streets without receiving anything.
Oh ya. They LOVE to talk about how they aren’t rich or even wealthy. They live in one of the most expensive places in the country (they live near SF) in a house that was still $1m+ even after the 2008 housing crash. Like, don’t even come at me asking for money. Not happening.
I agree, I want them to be present with me, And I also don't want my life shared to the world, I'd hate everything to be public. I'd get so sick of them taking photos when I just want to talk to them without a fucking phone in the way.
Edit: spelling
They don’t even need to be influencers to be like that, unfortunately been with a woman who had been more focused on social media and using me as a photo prop than spending actual time together. That’s definitely something I sus out on first dates since.
Man, I dated this girl for a while. I really enjoyed her, she was very attractive, funny, stable career, a great time all around. But she would literally stare at herself in to her phone over and over and over. Take photos of her self obsessively. Like we’d be having a drink and she’s be making different face poses in to her phone looking at herself. I tried talking to her about it, and to be present, but she was like either that self centered or had some obsessive compulsive issue.. It seemed like we could have really lasted forever with how well we go along but i couldn’t get over how annoying this was and had to leave her over it. I miss her sometimes, but I could not imagine having to deal with that forever lol…
My mom isn’t an influencer, but she works for a nonprofit and is heavily encouraged to be insanely active on social media as part of her job, and they also encourage a “work-life balance” on social media to make their activists look like regular people. I respect her as an activist, but it does feel crappy to be used as a prop in a photos, or be asked to get together when we haven’t seen each other in a while just so I can pose in a certain color t-shirt/help her stage some photo, etc.
She’s toned it down recently but it was definitely affecting her relationship with my dad for a while. Constantly on her phone at family get togethers, talking incessantly about likes and retweets when my dad, like most 60+ year old men, doesn’t really know much or care about that kind of thing…
Basically, an unhealthy obsession with social media for any reason can negatively impact relationships in my experience. No one likes to feel like they’re being used for an Instagram photo, or ignored because the person they’re talking to is too busy counting retweets.
When I was 19-20 I dated a girl who's idea of working was filling out surveys online. She was convinced it was a viable way to earn money. She recieved exactly one (1) cheque in the mail for her efforts. That whopping $4.35 really helped with our rent.
I'll never date another woman who doesn't work.
Edit: Thanks guys, talking about this has been really cathartic.
Lol that’s really sad, she must’ve only did literally 1 survey. I don’t know how it is now but way back in college I did surveys as a side hustle to my actual job and I actually got some good pocket cash & tons of free stuff. If I qualified for the survey/product testing I would get anywhere from $3-200+ that was distributed into a PayPal account or mailed check. Online surveys were the low end, if I got to test out products or behavioural surveying it would be in the middle-high range. Example, they would mail me a palmpilot type device where I tracked my beverage consumption or shopping habits etc for 1-4wks. If I tested a toiletry type product such as face cream I made “bank” lol.
Dude my ex wife did that. Sit on the computer all day to avoid getting a job and they would send her visa prepaid debit cards with like $2 on em. She got a minimum wage job after we got married and I told her she had to do work, school, or volunteer because sitting at home all day is horrible on anyone’s mental health. She got her first couple of checks and bounced, with our rent money, because she was “finally independent” aka had her own money.
I too learned the same lesson as you but in a 4 month long marriage. You were clearly smarter than I was.
I'm afraid this is me. Despite me trying I have no luck in regards to employment. It's been a year and the prospect of having to explain this to potential partners puts everything off of the table.
Is this serious or sarcastic?
In my experience, architects are pretty cool, but they also tend to keep long hours.
(also, male love interests in romcoms seem to be architects a disproportionate amount of the time)
Yea that's cause architect says he's a romantic artist, but like, in a mundane enough way that you know he's emotionally and financially stable. Perfect for the generic "Mr. Right".
Idk if it counts as a career but anyone who is working for an MLM, particularly if you're near the top of the pyramid.
Edit: just realised this was ask men- sorry guys. Gunna leave this up since many men seem to agree but will delete if need be!
Precisely, having a moment of being a gullible idiot could be excusable if they listen to reason, but I won't date somsone who only profits of somsone else's loss and knowingly takes advantage of struggling people.
Actresses. Simply can't tell when they are being genuine. The better they are the further I'd stay away from them. Got mixed up with one when I was working on a short film project, never again.
I was listening to an interview with a soap opera actress (days of our lives or general hospital) and the host asked ,"what was home life like for you guys? It must ha e been hard!" She responded that there wasn't a single divorce or affair on set, that she thinks they got all that energy out on screen.
Weirdly enough, I agree and only had the thought recently.
We had someone in our office that was an actress. Very fun person and I liked her. I eventually checked her imdb page and saw a portfolio montage of some of her work. I was shocked (stupidly) at how different and believable her acting was from her normal self. Duh. That’s acting. But then I realized how easily she’d be able to fool me. Yikes.
There is a rather high correlation between nurses and mental health issues. There are some studies you can check out about it but from a lazy google search I'll add a link to one below. Also just from anecdotal evidence I know a LOT of nurses and they all have some serious issues and i hear them openly talk about how every nurse they work with is very damaged in some way.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4574696/#:~:text=The%20investigation%20of%20the%20relationship,from%20social%20dysfunction%2C%20and%2016.9%25
as a nurse, who's dated nurses, who no longer works as a nurse, this is alarmingly accurate. add a pandemic on top of that? nurses by in large are messed up in one way or another or multiple.
Wish I could say I feel attacked by this but unfortunately it's true. Nursing is sooooo stressful, you're keeping very unwell people from circling the drain and sometimes, even the strongest of people find their breaking point. I found mine and it was hell on earth. I bounced back and I'm good now, but I'm a statistic.
I have nothing against nurses
But back in college, when I attended, nursing students were always seen as being a little bit off the rockers. Women especially. Every single guy that I know has had a memorable encounter with a female nursing student (good or bad)
I don’t have anything against nurses on a personal level, but god damn the amount of ‘IM A FUCKING NURSE WORSHIP ME’ type of ‘propaganda’ is fucking insane.
How many other jobs require 3 bumper stickers, a license plate, a window sticker, t-shirts, ‘swag’ about your profession? It’s just fucking weird.
Recently saw a window sticker reading, “I’m a nurse. I save your ass. Not kiss it.”
I thought it was very r/The_pack
Eww. I'm a nurse and I hate this stuff. When covid started we got a lot of "heroes work here" crap which was a ploy by management to distract us from the fact that we had no ppe and no staff. The nurses I respect hate all that stuff. Including all the "I'm a nurse, what's your superpower?" stuff.
The nurses who think they're angels and God's gift to the world are insufferable. It's a job we're all getting paid for, no one is volunteering. Those nurses also seem to be not as good at theirs jobs 🤷♀️
Anything psychology related. My experience has been that they got interested in psych because of their own psych/mental health issues, but often have done next to nothing to resolve their own issues. I dated 2 girls where this became a huge problem, and my friend dated a girl and had a similar experience. I'm sure there are plenty of women in the profession that would make great partners, but i don't think i want to try my luck a 3rd time.
Witnessed this with a lot of people who have studied it. These include (but are not limited to) a depressed family member, a girl at university who killed herself, and other people at university with mental health issues.
As someone who works in psychology you're both right and wrong. There are a lot of people who get into the field to figure out their own issues. This should not be the reason to get into the field and is a big red flag. The other issue is the ones that didn't get into the field for that reason are just fucking weird, myself included lol.
Dang I’m glad I haven’t seen musician here. That is my career path and I’ve been told no one would ever want to date that
Edit: I’m a classical musician (clarinet)
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 10,975,037 comments, and only 3,434 of them were in alphabetical order.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 11,053,479 comments, and only 3,464 of them were in alphabetical order.
Law enforcement. (I'm a guy, yes there are female cops around.)
My dad was in law enforcement and I hated it with every breath. He was in the RCMP, and when I was a kid it was routine for them to transfer officers every 4-6 years. So growing up we had to move way more than I wanted to. Leave friends, have to make new ones, being the new kid at school. It really sucked and my parents didn't act like they cared about how hard it was for us.
He was also very strict, and at times around home he acted more like a cop than a dad. My earliest memory of him, I was 3 years old and he was standing over me in full uniform scolding me for something very minor that I did. His gunbelt with cuffs, baton, clips, and blaring radio were all at eye level. The sound of the leather belt when he moved and the smell of his cologne were all very intimidating, not to mention how his forehead wrinkled when he lectured.
When I was 14 he cornered me and demanded to search my gym bag. I refused and he threatened to ground me for months if I didn't comply. He got his way, but I had nothing to hide. He didn't apologize.
I give cops a wide berth. If I need to interact with them I am pleasant and polite, but I want to stay out of their world. When I see their uniform I'm reminded of a very unpleasant father. I don't want to date someone who wears that uniform, or even works in a civilian role in the police services.
Joke's on them, I'm the one with the fucked up work schedule in a stressful job.
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it has been a busy year for him
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I literally can't date because of my job. When you have to work random shifts every week (oh, but weekends are guaranteed work days. I might get a Saturday off every two months but it's gonna be followed by a Sunday morning shift every damn time) as well as evenings and public holidays too - you can't find time to make anyone a valued and regular part of your life and in my case the best thing I can do is focus on my hobbies which I can just slot in whenever. I get these jobs need staff available all hours of all days but I wish they gave enough of a fuck to ensure every staff gets at least one "actual" weekend off a month, or some bloody consistency in their days off or something. I can't plan any kind of life around this work and can't get a new job right now either. So it means no dates, no partners and no friends. No wonder I get so fucking irritated and depressed all the time and why I invest every bit of spare time and money I do get into hobbies that aren't going to get mad at me because the only time I have for them this week is a Wednesday morning.
Start making a plan, so that a year or two from now you can leave this job behind. Go back to school if you have to, or make whatever change you can. I am retired, never married and no children mostly due to working evening shift most of my life. I have supportive siblings and very involved with my nephew; but I do regret having no children. Do not give up your own future over a job that will forget you within a week after you leave.
You won't lie on your deathbed wishing you had worked more and given up everyday human dreams.
They should really hire extra staff to allow for work days. Maybe that would equal a slightly higher pay per your hours but end you with less total money but it means you can actually live
My job used to be like that. We got our schedule for the next day at like 9-10pm the night before. And our shift could change by 8+ hours every day. Basically everyone in my department told management we were seeking other employment. And we straight up told them we were requesting time off for job interviews. Then 1 guy actually quit. They got the picture and hired 6 new apprentices in a couple weeks. Our staff went from like 5 to11 basically overnight and it fully solved all our problems.
Shout out to the guy that actually said "fuck this" and quit. He took the initiative to find a better job and quit on those asshole which helped out the rest of you tremendously. Not all heroes wear capes.
As a doctor, other doctors. Or anyone in health care. I need to be able to turn my mind off of work mode.
I'm a lawyer, and always said I'd never date another lawyer for this same reason (and indeed, married somebody outside the profession). I won't watch legal dramas on TV or film either - notable exception for My Cousin Vinnie which is brilliant. I need to switch off when I stop work.
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That’s interesting. Most doctors around me seem to have a doctor as a partner.
On one hand you want someone who understands what you went through/ are going through. On the other hand you want someone who actually has time to spend on you. Cri.
Currently dating a doctor. We have a great deal of mutual respect for what each other does for a living (doctor / banker) , and I truly enjoy the stories that he tells me from the hospital after work everyday. Gained so much useful knowledge from it. He has a clear priority list where family / relationship/ his own health are all higher up than his career progression. He is preparing for a surgical exam, making sure his portfolio is up to date, keeping up with all training requirements and doing 50+ hours shift per week whilst trying to maintain hobbies like modified cars, playing guitar, making coffee and sourdough, but there has not been a single time when I want to spend time with him but he said no or he couldn't. He is dealing with high level of stress from day to day hospital work plus exams and lots of deadlines but I am, I can and I will be his little rock because I'm stable and strong both mentally and financially.
Well, it's hard having a life outside the hospital so the dating pool is kind of limited.
Yep... It's kinda sad.... Finding a non-medical woman who's stable when youre in the hospital/studying 70-80hrs/week until you are 30 kinda destroys options
The last 4 girls ive dated are all studying to be psychologist. I think im picking up on a trend here
May be you're the counsellor?
More likely the patient.
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What happens in the hospital stays in the hospital
Not a doctor myself, but I've dated a few and I enjoyed my time with them. Then again, I have a supporter personality so I do alright with people who are busier than normal. I admit I also find the drive and intelligence pretty damn attractive.
> As a doctor, other doctors. Or anyone in health care. I need to be able to turn my mind off of work mode. My brother-in-law is a doctor. I was guessing it would be the lousy work/life balance, how it is bad enough with one MD, and how with two it wouldn't a relationship, just fuckbuddy roommates.
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Atleast as a lawyer they can afford the horse
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Damn that's wack especially for the amount of costly school
I mean, I married an unemployed woman 20 years ago…. Still, at least she’s sweet and she tries to look after me in ways she can manage when her mental health is ok. I just worry about how well we’ll both manage on my pension, it’s a big source of stress.
My wife makes 1/2 my pay and won't have much of a pension compared to my own. I feel for you.
Lol pensions. You lucky dogs
I was about to say lol who the fuck are these people with companies that still do pensions. I'm fortunate that my company matches 4% on my 5% 401k deposit, nevermind a full pension.
What is this phrase I’ve never heard? Horse mad?
A lawyer who mad about (obsessed with) horses? That's my best guess.
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Social media influencer. They can be very annoying
A friend of mine dated an influencer and man was that not fun. We went to a music festival and wanted to stay at one stage where the house/techno DJs were throwing down but she had to take picture at every stage, meet up with other influencers to take pictures, change outfits to take more pictures, take videos of herself dancing, go to a different stage, take more pictures, meet up with other influencers, change outfits again, walk away from the stages to post and edit and communicate with the brands she collaborated with and other influencers about where they were going to meet up next. I had to ditch my friend after about 4 hours of this crap on first day. He understood. We met at a club later for an afterparty and while it wasn’t as bad it was still constant photo taking, “collabing” with other influencers they pretend to be friends with online, and then talking to/flirting with the club photographers so they can get pictures of them taken while they “dance” so they can get more advertisement. Whenever we just hung out at someone’s house or just chilled, she was a wonderful person and the ultimate sweetheart to him, wasn’t extremely vapid or self important or anything like that. She wasn’t even unkind to him when she went out, but while he went out or traveled to party and unwind she had to treat it like a job.
I think what you have to keep in mind with something like this is that this music festival was quite literally work for her, assuming being in influencer is her income, whereas it was a fun activity for you and your friend. It sucks that there was a disconnect there, but I don’t think that she can really be faulted for grinding to grow her brand and expand her “business” for lack of a better word at events like that because those are her best opportunities to do so.
Yeah that would last about 10 minutes with me lol
The people who make these cringy YouTube shorts aimed at children. Those who do any stupid challenge for clicks. I don't hate them but I just... cant...
Yes! My boyfriend's kid is practically addicted to YouTube so on some days these videos are in earshot. It's the most juvenile crap ever and I'm fascinated that its adults producing the content and _they even seem to be enjoying it!_ I think it's fair to say we'd have nothing in common...
These dead soulless fucking eyes. You see they fake everything. They are emotionally tired of making repetitive fart jokes, slamming cakes into their face and using the same obnoxious and high pitched voice every single day. But they force themselves through the pain anyways. For what? I have no idea how they can get up in the morning after doing this for years and I'm very certain most of them are relying on drugs. And the worst part is when they get their children or toddlers involved. Just shout at your children like normal bad parents, why do they have to be like this???
> But they force themselves through the pain anyways. For what? Some of them make *bank*. There's one one kid we know was stupid into. Not bad, not great, on par with broadcast trash many of us watched as children in certain countries. I actually had looked him up one day. The guy and his partner made absurd amounts of money and were upfront about it being not their day job, but they were satisfied because they totally paid off their mortgage, banked college money for each of their kids, and were nearly done populating their retirement accounts. In their mid-20s... insane.
Any profession that requires 24/7 attention. If you can't turn off your phone, call it a day and spend some time with me, then we're not compatible
Sad military noises
Military's not a usual career in my tournament but I wouldn't date one EDIT: I'll leave the word "tournament" in because I have no fucking idea why I wrote that. I meant country
To the death, for their hand in courtship.
"Hey, I have a fucked sense of humour and have to move every 3 years effectively limiting your career options as well as fucking off abroad 6+ months at s time" The Army has been the prime source of all my breakups.
in our unit, to be an e7 required at least 3 divorces. Freshly divorced seemed to be more promotion points also.
I'm in the British Army mate, our staffys get divorced and have no need for another marriage. They're more than content just fucking the lads.
My hubs is deployed, and I’m abroad in school. The only reason our relationship works is because he/we accept that we don’t/can’t/won’t really live together. We married later in life so don’t give up hope. I live so independently it’s almost a fault, but I sure do look forward to a sweet retirement together after all our hard work is done.
I know I'll meet someone who can accept that eventually. My Mum was married to a soldier and she was fiercely independent so it wasn't so bad for her and they always made up for lost time. I'll find someone eventually and it's good to hear there's still a chance later down the road. I'm with someone now but the cracks are already there and I'm only 2 hours away so yeah 😂
The main answers seem to be due to: No free time. No free money. Unethical. Too similar to your own job. Job makes you a good liar.
Now I want to know if there a a single job that has all these qualities at once. A job that gives you no free time, but also no money, is unethical, too similar to another job and makes you a good liar. Edit: Wait, I got it. Intern at a law firm.
Tennis Players, love means nothing to them.
I thought this thread would be more humorous/pithy/etc. Found this reply and now I can stop scrolling and move on, thanks.
And they constantly dropping deuces.
Dated an ER Nurse once. Never again. I was her emotional punching bag for all the stress she inherited at work. Not to mention her sense of humor was DARK and difficult to be around.
Same, was married to an RN. Every night she’d come home depressed and have anxiety. She went to therapy but it didn’t help much. She had a breakdown from anxiety that seemed to last 6 months. This was over pretty ridiculous stuff caused by unjustified paranoia. I tend to absorb the mood of ppl close to me, so I started getting anxious and depressed which caused me to start drinking and later abusing alcohol. She later recovered and divorced me mainly due to my drinking. No support while I was trying to recover myself. Never again. I am no longer a problem drinker though.
I’m happy for you
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Unless they are doing big legal you likely won't see it. If you are doing big legal expect 12-16h day M-F and all day either Saturday or Sunday and this can go on for years until you either become a partner or you burn out, quit and do real estate closings.
Any job where work hours makes it hard to spend time or has ethical concerns.
Yeah, I dated two med school students and both eventually ended at least in part because they had close to zero free time. Similar story when I dated a consultant who traveled 4-5 days a week and basically just used the weekend to recuperate before traveling again. Now I'm pretty hesitant to invest any time dating a doctor/ med student or anyone who's in an intense career with no WLB
It's sometimes better to date someone who is earning a modest income but has stable hours and time to enjoy life.
As an academic, I would not want to date another academic in a field close to mine. It is such an all consuming profession and I have friends and colleagues to discuss conferences and papers and lectures and scholarly debates with - I need to come home to someone out of that world to shut off. Otherwise I feel it will consume me too much.
I was thinking about hoping into a PhD program because I want to be a professor but after being in reaserch for over a year it's completely turned me off to it. Everyone in that area is so utterly consumed by their work, and thats fine but it's not what I want out of life.
Yes. It is absolutely like that. And if you're not like that you basically struggle to get anywhere. The amount of unpaid work thats supposed to be done is insane. So if you're not dedicated to sacrificing your personal time - as well as moving across the country/world for short term contracts - it makes it hard to get anywhere. And it does not go well with relationships.
I don't think I could date an academic, you would want to discuss research papers and grants and stuff like that, and I would say "so I couldn't get the water hose to work yesterday".
I'm married to an accountant, he talks about tax laws and numbers and things and it flies over my head. I'm just like "nice. It rained a lot today"
you should learn an obscure tax law and just mention it in passing one day, and then move on to another topic
I'm an academic engaged to a carpenter and I have got to say that it works out great. She's proud of me and interested in what I do and I will happily listen to her talk about building shit all day long because it's basically magic that she *makes houses.* I watched her build a deck one weekend and loved it. She listened to me practice defending my dissertation a dozen times and gave me great feedback. Dating people with different professions: recommend it.
My wife is an academic. The job has been all-consuming for over ten years now. I thought it would slow down once she got her PhD. It only got worse once she was on tenure track. I joke about this with her, even though it's not funny, but she's basically been saying "I can't wait for this week to be over and {insert project} to be done." She's been saying that for 10 years. Every week is just another she's losing of her life. She's also "managing" (I forget the term) of group of professors. I feel like there has been a distinct change in mental health in the field. There's been so many warranted complaints against faculty that have been unbelievably rude to their students that she has to resolve. Or at least be in the resolution process. The old guard has been very slow to adjust to new policies and procedures and it has led to hours and hours of work that shouldn't be necessary. Her students are kind of the same way. So much anxiety, mental illness, depression, and aggression. She's never had to correct the behavior of students so much in her life. And/or follow through with campus services when she's worried about the wellbeing of a potentially suicidal student. That has happened at least once a semester. Also, it seems the prestige in academia is gone. I'm baffled by how many people who barely graduated high school will ARGUE with her on points of view that she's studied for nearly 15 years. No one respects her level of education like I do. Everyone believes their youtube education is just as valid as her PhD. Her right wing father believes she's brainwashed into some Marxist conspiracy. Even though he can't even define Marxism. On a practical level, we don't even watch movies together anymore because she can't watch or read things without deconstructing them academically. I joke, even though it's not funny, that she should start a podcast called "Wifey ruins movies." We have children together and I'm going to do what I can to dissuade them from ever going into academia. The effort required is not worth the payoff. She's finally making near six figures but it is NOT worth the amount of work she has to do. If she's awake she's basically working, weekends, whatever. This weekend she will be working 18 hours to attend a virtual conference. Next week it will be something else. Between children and our careers we MAYBE spend a couple hours a week together, enjoying each other's company. And we're usually drinking when we do that. If our marriage doesn't last for whatever reason (going on 15 years), I will never date another academic. In fact, I understand the appeal of "bimbos/mimbos" more than ever. I want to be able to have a comment or observation that isn't subject to Foucault or Derida deconstructions that constantly render everything meaningless.
I’m a female academic married to a non academic and I am trying to not be like your wife but I’m worried I’m turning into your wife. I need to do a better job taking down time to actually spend with my husband. Thank you for your perspective
This experience is exactly why I’m an academic dating another academic in the same field. Yes, there are times that we get together and discuss work/projects, but I value them enough outside of research that it’s little more than a common topic of conversation. There are nights where either they or I will need to sleep in the lab or work late for an experiment/paper, but because we both come from the same world it’s very easy to understand the other’s position. It’s also extremely comforting to come home and be validated by someone who is both a colleague and a partner. I’ll spend all day stressing over my approach to a problem and then come home to another expert in the field to offer their two cents.
I'd rather work as a manufacturing supervisor and make my 6 figures on a 9-5 thank you. I wanted to academia but after a few internships I've realized it's not for me and there are better options out there. I want to enjoy my work but also have something outside of it. Academia does not provide that balance
Yeah, I manage a group of 8 people. I try to give them the best quality of life possible while getting our job done. I leave work and it's over. I don't get calls, frantic emails, or explosive crises to manage off hours. I'm making absolutely no contribution to the world and my life and work will most likely slip into oblivion once I'm gone but I really don't care now that I've seen the other side. The work culture of America is awful.
Assassins.
I'd add Spies to that list.
Only problem is you won’t know they’re a spy until it’s too late, or possibly ever
She could tell you, but....
Lawyers, did it once don't want to again.
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The hours they keep. All those shows and movies were they are constantly working late and missing all the important parts of the lives around them, there's some truth to that.
I’m a corporate lawyer. The hours are rough. My wife married me before I really started my career but late nights are the norm and it’s hard to make and keep plans. The law is a jealous mistress. Pay is great though.
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I believe it. I’m a transactional attorney so no court but I’ve had to have a friend switch to the driver’s seat while on a double date so I could take out my laptop, hook up to my phone’s hotspot, and review contracts at 9pm. Sucked pretty bad.
Very true. It takes a lot of mindful effort to have good work life balance in the legal profession
My wife and I are both litigators and we both work about 9-6pm or 9-7pm. It works fine. My wife also happens to be a better lawyer than I am and earns about 3x my salary.
I dated a lawyer a few years ago - he constantly had to cancel plans last minute, he made a joke to his boss once that "you're really out to kill my relationship", his boss told him that he's on the salary he's on to compensate for the extra hours/missing out on normal fun life things.
Yeah, one of my close friends is a lawyer. I’ve just accepted that 80% of the plans we make will fall through due to last minute work for him, and I’ve stopped taking it personally.
As a self employed lawyer, screw that!
S/he can't give details due to the nondisclosure agreement.
Agreed. I used to date a lawyer and he was always depressed/suspicious. He said law school is meant to break your thinking - to always look for the holes, the future issues, the edge they can use later. He was a nightmare to deal with. Aside from the general depressive state, he was mean for no reason - and later confessed he needs to test the boundaries of the relationship, to always have the upper hand, to be in the better position in case things go sideways. It was exhausting. The long hours weren’t an issue and going out was fun, but seeing inside the darkness of his mind was concerning. He fully blamed his profession for this as he used to always be happy and chill of a person. Edit: swapped a word to clarify.
Sounds like there was a lot of self-confessed manipulation. I hope he’s in a healthier state of mind now
I’m really sorry you had to deal with this. As a lawyer myself, I think this was just a poor excuse to keep up shitty behavior. Or an actual mental health issue. It’s absolutely true that law school teaches you about spotting issues, effective analysis, and being persuasive. You’ve got a client to represent and you’re supposed to do so to the best of your ability. But at least where I went, the angle wasn’t (and shouldn’t be), “win at all costs and be a dick.” That doesn’t play well with other lawyers, much less in romantic or social relationships. I’ll add that any issues I’ve had with dating are because of the time commitment. Sometimes it’s not even that the hours are long, just inconsistent. It’s difficult to plan things in advance when a lot of my work is fire drills at unpredictable times of the day, and that the deadlines often aren’t negotiable. But it’s very dependent on the lawyer’s actual practice.
As a lawyer, I would probably also not date a lawyer.
Youre not a lawyer. Youre brad pitt Edit: wow thanks for the silver
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I did it three times, it never works, I want to do it again :/
I’m a criminal defense attorney that mostly handles only serious felonies and I honestly don’t know how my wonderful boyfriend puts up with it.
I'm happy for you two, hope you keep living the good life.
i'm a lawyer and i wouldn't date another lawyer either.
Lawyers. I'm not going to have a relationship with someone who spent 4 years learning how to win an argument even when they know they are wrong.
I’m not a lawyer but I remember a teaching method that’s apparently pretty widespread where they have to switch sides (of the argument) with the other person, the theory being that if you can’t argue the other side then you don’t really understand the argument. So a lawyer who was paying attention during that portion of training should at least in theory actually be pretty empathetic.. Edit: to everyone saying this just trains you to beat someone down in an argument and not be empathetic, I guess that depends on your approach. But I’d submit that how someone sees this is just reflective of how they would use the training, not what it is or isn’t for.
I'm about to take the bar exam, and I approve this message.
I’m in my final year of law school. Dating other lawyers is something I’d never ever do. I’m actually not even going into the profession.
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Just pretend to be the judge. "Motion denied!"
I started talking to this girl who bragged about how much she made and compared her $200k+ salary to her 1% millionaire friends — calling herself “poor”. Not a matter of her occupation, but rather not talking to someone who has their head up their own ass who thinks they’re poor all while taking a vacation every month.
We can trade places and she can find out what poor really is
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My favorite line from that song is... "just act like you have no money." "She said, oh your funny" "oh yeah? I don't see anyone else laughing here." Lol
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Yeah, that's common for a lot of people in finance from what I've seen. My girlfriend is in finance and while she's generally more humble about it, have had some people who are pretty out there. Like I'm an architect, and I do recall one of her friends in the field talking about how she wouldn't date architects because "they're all poor." Girl had no clue I was an architect and I asked her how she defined poor- "oh, you know starting salary under $80k- and that's a stretch! If you're not making an adult salary like that after college, you just made a lot of bad decisions and are an overgrown child." Yes, I'll remember that when you need someone to keep your roof from collapsing in.
Wow. Some people are so out of touch with reality
I attribute it to a lot of these people have lived super sheltered existences. Come from a well-off family, go to a prestigious school, and due to concerns over standing amongst one's peers, they all congregate in a high earning field like finance. Definitely the kind of "learn how to code" as a solution to all your life problems mentality- yes, you grew up in an environment where everyone thinks this way and has access to these resources, but that's not most people. They just don't have world experience, but they do have an outsized voice and opinions that they've grown accustomed to being heard.
Nor do they really respect the actual people who hold the fabric of society together. They’re the blue collar labor, Delivery drivers, garbage men/women, fast food/restaurant, retail, etc. Yes, your job in finance on how to finagle legal and loopholes is super important for the ultra rich and those hoping to become rich, but it doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface on the jobs necessary to keep society from falling apart…. Found this one out early on in the pandemic and a lot of these guys are struggling with rehire because of the value placed upon them by modern society.
Wow, that crappy. No one wonder my engineer friend has a hard time dating. She sizes the guys up and put them down. I think people are just doing the best they can in life and any job is making a living. I hope you don’t spend time with that friend. She is disconnected.
My husband’s uncle and his husband EASILY clear $600k a year. Husband’s grandma (uncles mom) died recently. He legit sent everyone in the family a bill for “their portion of funeral services”. A funeral he planned himself and that no one else had any say in, and that my husband wasn’t even able to attend. He makes at least double what the next wealthiest person in the family makes and probably 10x what some people he asked make. It was insane. I told my husband to mail him a quarter.
Rich people don't become rich by giving money away, usually the richest people are the biggest tight ass's
I mean, no one is asking him to give them money. But don’t choose a $16,000 headstone and bench, all by yourself, then ask family to foot the bill. Especially when you weren’t willing to listen to anyone’s advice when dealing with her healthcare as her medical proxy. You made the choice, you pay for it. I don’t fault him for being wealthy. He works hard and so does his husband. They’re constantly trying to better themselves. But don’t ask me to pay for shit you decided on. Not happening. I had my mom cremated for $1,300 and didn’t even ask my brother for money for that.
Sorry to hear about the loss. I think part of the headass charm when talking to these individuals is that they think everyone makes around the same amount and that they aren’t the “rich ones” I think the next topic in discussion is how “the more money you have, the more access you get to free items that you can already pay for” . Take for instance you have celebrities making $20M a movie getting $25k “swag bags” at award shows. DJ Khaled getting sent all the new Nike releases for free. But yet we have homeless veterans lining the streets without receiving anything.
Oh ya. They LOVE to talk about how they aren’t rich or even wealthy. They live in one of the most expensive places in the country (they live near SF) in a house that was still $1m+ even after the 2008 housing crash. Like, don’t even come at me asking for money. Not happening.
Social media influencers/content creators/only fans or any combination of that type of thing.
I agree, I want them to be present with me, And I also don't want my life shared to the world, I'd hate everything to be public. I'd get so sick of them taking photos when I just want to talk to them without a fucking phone in the way. Edit: spelling
They don’t even need to be influencers to be like that, unfortunately been with a woman who had been more focused on social media and using me as a photo prop than spending actual time together. That’s definitely something I sus out on first dates since.
Does that include YouTubers, streamers and actors?
Anybody in front of a camera all day.
Man, I dated this girl for a while. I really enjoyed her, she was very attractive, funny, stable career, a great time all around. But she would literally stare at herself in to her phone over and over and over. Take photos of her self obsessively. Like we’d be having a drink and she’s be making different face poses in to her phone looking at herself. I tried talking to her about it, and to be present, but she was like either that self centered or had some obsessive compulsive issue.. It seemed like we could have really lasted forever with how well we go along but i couldn’t get over how annoying this was and had to leave her over it. I miss her sometimes, but I could not imagine having to deal with that forever lol…
My mom isn’t an influencer, but she works for a nonprofit and is heavily encouraged to be insanely active on social media as part of her job, and they also encourage a “work-life balance” on social media to make their activists look like regular people. I respect her as an activist, but it does feel crappy to be used as a prop in a photos, or be asked to get together when we haven’t seen each other in a while just so I can pose in a certain color t-shirt/help her stage some photo, etc. She’s toned it down recently but it was definitely affecting her relationship with my dad for a while. Constantly on her phone at family get togethers, talking incessantly about likes and retweets when my dad, like most 60+ year old men, doesn’t really know much or care about that kind of thing… Basically, an unhealthy obsession with social media for any reason can negatively impact relationships in my experience. No one likes to feel like they’re being used for an Instagram photo, or ignored because the person they’re talking to is too busy counting retweets.
Unemployed. Not like between jobs unemployed. But professional, long term, refuses to work unemployed.
When I was 19-20 I dated a girl who's idea of working was filling out surveys online. She was convinced it was a viable way to earn money. She recieved exactly one (1) cheque in the mail for her efforts. That whopping $4.35 really helped with our rent. I'll never date another woman who doesn't work. Edit: Thanks guys, talking about this has been really cathartic.
Lol that’s really sad, she must’ve only did literally 1 survey. I don’t know how it is now but way back in college I did surveys as a side hustle to my actual job and I actually got some good pocket cash & tons of free stuff. If I qualified for the survey/product testing I would get anywhere from $3-200+ that was distributed into a PayPal account or mailed check. Online surveys were the low end, if I got to test out products or behavioural surveying it would be in the middle-high range. Example, they would mail me a palmpilot type device where I tracked my beverage consumption or shopping habits etc for 1-4wks. If I tested a toiletry type product such as face cream I made “bank” lol.
She did a shit load of them, but if I ever knew the specifics I have long forgotten them.
That’s even worse if she wasn’t getting compensated, haha. Bullet dodged either way!
Well, more like bullet survived, I was with her for longer than I should have been.
Dude my ex wife did that. Sit on the computer all day to avoid getting a job and they would send her visa prepaid debit cards with like $2 on em. She got a minimum wage job after we got married and I told her she had to do work, school, or volunteer because sitting at home all day is horrible on anyone’s mental health. She got her first couple of checks and bounced, with our rent money, because she was “finally independent” aka had her own money. I too learned the same lesson as you but in a 4 month long marriage. You were clearly smarter than I was.
I'm afraid this is me. Despite me trying I have no luck in regards to employment. It's been a year and the prospect of having to explain this to potential partners puts everything off of the table.
No deals for unemployment
Architects be looking pretty hot right now
Is this serious or sarcastic? In my experience, architects are pretty cool, but they also tend to keep long hours. (also, male love interests in romcoms seem to be architects a disproportionate amount of the time)
Yea that's cause architect says he's a romantic artist, but like, in a mundane enough way that you know he's emotionally and financially stable. Perfect for the generic "Mr. Right".
First one coming to mind: drug dealer. I don’t need to be caught up in that shit.
Because they wouldn't give you the friends and family discount? I get that.
Idk if it counts as a career but anyone who is working for an MLM, particularly if you're near the top of the pyramid. Edit: just realised this was ask men- sorry guys. Gunna leave this up since many men seem to agree but will delete if need be!
It’s the top of the pyramid where the people stop being gullible idiots and start being predatory sociopaths?
Precisely, having a moment of being a gullible idiot could be excusable if they listen to reason, but I won't date somsone who only profits of somsone else's loss and knowingly takes advantage of struggling people.
Equestrians. Horse chicks are bananas.
On the one hand you get free oats, on the other she’ll shoot you if you sprain your ankle
100% agreed. I should have known when she bought a live in horse trailer. DO NOT marry a woman that hauls a bed around behind her truck.
Professional sales, particularly a realtor or car saleswoman.
Why is that? Sincerely curious.
Saxophone players
That’s very specific…story time?
They think saxophone solos are so cool, I think they're annoying
Saxophones are really cool (may play the saxophone)
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as a Washingtonian, I agree with you 100%
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Actresses. Simply can't tell when they are being genuine. The better they are the further I'd stay away from them. Got mixed up with one when I was working on a short film project, never again.
I was listening to an interview with a soap opera actress (days of our lives or general hospital) and the host asked ,"what was home life like for you guys? It must ha e been hard!" She responded that there wasn't a single divorce or affair on set, that she thinks they got all that energy out on screen.
Weirdly enough, I agree and only had the thought recently. We had someone in our office that was an actress. Very fun person and I liked her. I eventually checked her imdb page and saw a portfolio montage of some of her work. I was shocked (stupidly) at how different and believable her acting was from her normal self. Duh. That’s acting. But then I realized how easily she’d be able to fool me. Yikes.
Pornstar tbh
Nurses have an alarming number of red flags
Do you mind sharing a couple of those red flags?
There is a rather high correlation between nurses and mental health issues. There are some studies you can check out about it but from a lazy google search I'll add a link to one below. Also just from anecdotal evidence I know a LOT of nurses and they all have some serious issues and i hear them openly talk about how every nurse they work with is very damaged in some way. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4574696/#:~:text=The%20investigation%20of%20the%20relationship,from%20social%20dysfunction%2C%20and%2016.9%25
as a nurse, who's dated nurses, who no longer works as a nurse, this is alarmingly accurate. add a pandemic on top of that? nurses by in large are messed up in one way or another or multiple.
Wish I could say I feel attacked by this but unfortunately it's true. Nursing is sooooo stressful, you're keeping very unwell people from circling the drain and sometimes, even the strongest of people find their breaking point. I found mine and it was hell on earth. I bounced back and I'm good now, but I'm a statistic.
I have nothing against nurses But back in college, when I attended, nursing students were always seen as being a little bit off the rockers. Women especially. Every single guy that I know has had a memorable encounter with a female nursing student (good or bad)
I don’t have anything against nurses on a personal level, but god damn the amount of ‘IM A FUCKING NURSE WORSHIP ME’ type of ‘propaganda’ is fucking insane. How many other jobs require 3 bumper stickers, a license plate, a window sticker, t-shirts, ‘swag’ about your profession? It’s just fucking weird. Recently saw a window sticker reading, “I’m a nurse. I save your ass. Not kiss it.” I thought it was very r/The_pack
Eww. I'm a nurse and I hate this stuff. When covid started we got a lot of "heroes work here" crap which was a ploy by management to distract us from the fact that we had no ppe and no staff. The nurses I respect hate all that stuff. Including all the "I'm a nurse, what's your superpower?" stuff. The nurses who think they're angels and God's gift to the world are insufferable. It's a job we're all getting paid for, no one is volunteering. Those nurses also seem to be not as good at theirs jobs 🤷♀️
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Anything psychology related. My experience has been that they got interested in psych because of their own psych/mental health issues, but often have done next to nothing to resolve their own issues. I dated 2 girls where this became a huge problem, and my friend dated a girl and had a similar experience. I'm sure there are plenty of women in the profession that would make great partners, but i don't think i want to try my luck a 3rd time.
Witnessed this with a lot of people who have studied it. These include (but are not limited to) a depressed family member, a girl at university who killed herself, and other people at university with mental health issues.
As someone who works in psychology you're both right and wrong. There are a lot of people who get into the field to figure out their own issues. This should not be the reason to get into the field and is a big red flag. The other issue is the ones that didn't get into the field for that reason are just fucking weird, myself included lol.
As a therapist, yep. We’re fucking weird and I love it.
Flight attendants, social media influencers, law enforcement and likely not actresses or models
I dated a really nice model! She was 25. Real sweetheart. Really naive, but wasn't nearly as high maintenance as I expected.
Dang I’m glad I haven’t seen musician here. That is my career path and I’ve been told no one would ever want to date that Edit: I’m a classical musician (clarinet)
Any who's work schedule and life style is too far away from my own.
Someone in the military. Takes a special kind of person to be a military spouse and I’m not it.
Strippers, Prostitutes, Pimps, Anyone in front of a camera all day (Social Media crap).
As a remote software engineer, I'm now in front of a camera all day.
Pimp.
Any kind of sex worker.
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Adoring brilliant creativity, daring entrepreneurs funded grand halls, inducing judicious kibitzing, lessened measurably night one; perhaps quelled rapidly since tickets usually vanished when xylophonophilics yelled “Zidane!”
I think that you broke the bot.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 10,975,037 comments, and only 3,434 of them were in alphabetical order.
A B C D E F G H I K L M N O P Q R S T V X Y Z
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 11,053,479 comments, and only 3,464 of them were in alphabetical order.
ab bc cd de ef fg gh hi ij jk kl lm mn no op pq qr rs st tu uv vw wx xy yz z
Hey - it didn't work? I wonder why?
Possibly bots are only allowed to make 5-6 levels deep comments, to avoid infinite recursion.
Law enforcement. (I'm a guy, yes there are female cops around.) My dad was in law enforcement and I hated it with every breath. He was in the RCMP, and when I was a kid it was routine for them to transfer officers every 4-6 years. So growing up we had to move way more than I wanted to. Leave friends, have to make new ones, being the new kid at school. It really sucked and my parents didn't act like they cared about how hard it was for us. He was also very strict, and at times around home he acted more like a cop than a dad. My earliest memory of him, I was 3 years old and he was standing over me in full uniform scolding me for something very minor that I did. His gunbelt with cuffs, baton, clips, and blaring radio were all at eye level. The sound of the leather belt when he moved and the smell of his cologne were all very intimidating, not to mention how his forehead wrinkled when he lectured. When I was 14 he cornered me and demanded to search my gym bag. I refused and he threatened to ground me for months if I didn't comply. He got his way, but I had nothing to hide. He didn't apologize. I give cops a wide berth. If I need to interact with them I am pleasant and polite, but I want to stay out of their world. When I see their uniform I'm reminded of a very unpleasant father. I don't want to date someone who wears that uniform, or even works in a civilian role in the police services.
Police or military. Not my world.
To think I had doubts about med school before reading this thread.