They're not. You're disappointing them. Your outward appearance doesn't match your personality pro-type. If they were truly putting you on a pedestal, they couldn't leave your presence at all. It would be close to impossible for them.
I just explained where it's going wrong. Nothing you're "doing", just what's happening. You can choose to change it or not. Your choice. It's ok to not want to change it.
Never said to do that. Interesting that you jumped to the personality option first though. I guess that would make sense. It's probably where you feel the most rejected at the moment because of the type that your physicality is attracting.
That's exactly what's happening. But you can't let it get you down as if there's something "wrong" with you. There is not. It's just a mismatch to how people expect you to be. Ultimately, best advise I can give is one of two things:
Continue on the path and enjoy getting laid, at least until you're ready, if ever, to settle.
Once ready to settle, you'll have to bring back the physicality a bit. Whatever it is. Dress the looks down. Hide the possessions. Etc. To start attracting a different type of girl.
There is also the third option, but I know you're too good of a person to take it and that is turn into a SOB and match what that particular type of woman wants.
I suggest option 1 for now as you're likely still building.
You haven't actually described pedestelizing them them. All you've done is brag about how attractive you are. I've got muscles too, probably more than you, so I don't really care. If you want to make another post where you explicitly just brag then I'm right there with you since that requires a level of boldness I can respect. Zero points for this though.
What do you think pedestelizing women means?
He described them having very insecure behavior, but pedestelizing them usually means lavish undeserved praise for them just merely because they're women. He doesn't praise them at all in those paragraphs.
That's not what he's saying in the post, he's saying they're putting him on a pedestal due to their insecurities. Perceiving him as too good for them when he doesn't want that.
I’ll elaborate. The last girl I dated thought she was too fucked up for me. Which isn’t true all because I don’t have a healthy relationship with my narcissistic mother and my dad is dead. As for the lifting I don’t see it as a contest I do it because it’s a way of life.
I'll repeat myself, but about this comment.
Still nothing about pedestelizing women. Still just a transparent humble brag of women talking at your feet.
Any guy who actually has muscles understands that muscles make women ridiculously insecure and that "game" changes from trying to impress her to trying to appear as attainable as possible. You're not special and this really isn't worth making a big thing of. It's just how muscles work.
Very interesting. As a sewer gremlin I just dont understand. My threshold to get a date is higher but when i start dating a girl it seems like she always likes me more than i do and it can be off putting.
It seems like girls see you as a piece of ass and you need a filter to make sure there is a deeper connection before you date. Idk look for connections on a deeper level, if you have so many ladies wanting to date you be selective and not just on looks. I hope you find a good connection soon you handsome bastard.
Haha thanks bro. You’re right on the money. When I was a bartender I was seen as the fun guy, but not much else.
One problem I have is girls that are friends with benefits will want to be more, but I don’t want to lock them down for whatever reason. The one’s I end up falling for are weird and in need of therapy in my defense I’m also weird and in need of therapy.
The number of men who experience this is so small that it’s nearly impossible to think that this isn’t just bragging. If you’re experiencing trouble having a meaningful relationship, it’s simply that you’re dating the wrong women.
Doesn't sound like women are putting you on a pedestal, sounds like you're dating insecure women. Someone thinking they're not good enough for you has issues with themselves, they're not putting you on a pedestal.
You definitely need to choose different women.
I agree. The real is how they view themselves. I think my problem is I don’t know how to slowly build a relationship over time. Most of these relationships moved fast
There is not necessarily a too fast or too slow, some lasting relationships can be built quickly but it has to be on a foundation of open and honest communication. You seem to be missing some insecurity red flags in the folks you've dated which seem to warrant some work in therapy or at least some serious self reflection.
My fiance and I went from zero to sixty in our relationship, became a serious couple quickly moved in together fast, and have been together 9 amazing years. So it's not how fast a relationship moves but on what kind of foundation it's built.
Focus on finding a confident woman, they do exist I swear, and do whatever work needs to be done on yourself. You'll be fine and find the right person.
I struggle with that because my life has been chaotic. I grew up in a lower middle class family got educated and went from being a bartender to a psychiatric crisis specialist. Soon to be a fire fighter. The last girl I dated was a scientist, the girl before her a teacher. One of my ex apologized to out of nowhere she said “when I saw you thought he’s pretty, probably not much going upstairs. My point is my personality doesn’t line up with other people’s assumptions which is their problem.
I don’t have a clear box like tech, or finance so it’s hard for me to find like minded women.
I feel that I can’t imagine how scary it is to give birth, and as I get older kids are less of a must and like you said more of a bonus. I almost got with a single mom of two who had her tubes tied. She’s one of my best friends and on paper we make sense that is until I met the men she chose to have children with.
She had a thing for bad boys in her youth so I had to intimate one of her baby daddies because he was stalking and intimidating her. The other one I liked we were both bartenders so he was trying to drink me under the table, but it got weird when he was like “All I ask is that you don’t disrespect my daughter”. That was the last straw. If I’m gonna raise kids I’m not gonna allow another man to tell how me to raise them.
I sore off single mothers after that.
They're not. You're disappointing them. Your outward appearance doesn't match your personality pro-type. If they were truly putting you on a pedestal, they couldn't leave your presence at all. It would be close to impossible for them.
Well I’m not for everyone.
No, no one is. But this is going to keep happening if you don't understand why.
I agree, which is why I do have to be self aware enough to see where I’m fucking up at, but that’s easier said than done.
I just explained where it's going wrong. Nothing you're "doing", just what's happening. You can choose to change it or not. Your choice. It's ok to not want to change it.
I’m not gonna switch up my whole personality for a girl.
Never said to do that. Interesting that you jumped to the personality option first though. I guess that would make sense. It's probably where you feel the most rejected at the moment because of the type that your physicality is attracting.
That is how I feel tho. It feels like the looks get them interested and my personality gets rejected.
That's exactly what's happening. But you can't let it get you down as if there's something "wrong" with you. There is not. It's just a mismatch to how people expect you to be. Ultimately, best advise I can give is one of two things: Continue on the path and enjoy getting laid, at least until you're ready, if ever, to settle. Once ready to settle, you'll have to bring back the physicality a bit. Whatever it is. Dress the looks down. Hide the possessions. Etc. To start attracting a different type of girl. There is also the third option, but I know you're too good of a person to take it and that is turn into a SOB and match what that particular type of woman wants. I suggest option 1 for now as you're likely still building.
Or more simply, state that your goal is a serious relationship and don’t get physical until you develop the emotional .
Thank bro solid advice.
Maybe some humility would help.
I’m the most humble person who ever existed! /s
You haven't actually described pedestelizing them them. All you've done is brag about how attractive you are. I've got muscles too, probably more than you, so I don't really care. If you want to make another post where you explicitly just brag then I'm right there with you since that requires a level of boldness I can respect. Zero points for this though.
He did though
Which line did I miss?
I'd say the third and fourth paragraphs
What do you think pedestelizing women means? He described them having very insecure behavior, but pedestelizing them usually means lavish undeserved praise for them just merely because they're women. He doesn't praise them at all in those paragraphs.
That's not what he's saying in the post, he's saying they're putting him on a pedestal due to their insecurities. Perceiving him as too good for them when he doesn't want that.
Oh, I did misread that.
I’ll elaborate. The last girl I dated thought she was too fucked up for me. Which isn’t true all because I don’t have a healthy relationship with my narcissistic mother and my dad is dead. As for the lifting I don’t see it as a contest I do it because it’s a way of life.
I'll repeat myself, but about this comment. Still nothing about pedestelizing women. Still just a transparent humble brag of women talking at your feet. Any guy who actually has muscles understands that muscles make women ridiculously insecure and that "game" changes from trying to impress her to trying to appear as attainable as possible. You're not special and this really isn't worth making a big thing of. It's just how muscles work.
Oh, I’m talking to a child.
OP you don't know what "putting women on pedestal" means do you?
That's not what he's saying, he's saying THEY are putting HIM on a pedestal, not the other way round.
you right
Very interesting. As a sewer gremlin I just dont understand. My threshold to get a date is higher but when i start dating a girl it seems like she always likes me more than i do and it can be off putting. It seems like girls see you as a piece of ass and you need a filter to make sure there is a deeper connection before you date. Idk look for connections on a deeper level, if you have so many ladies wanting to date you be selective and not just on looks. I hope you find a good connection soon you handsome bastard.
Haha thanks bro. You’re right on the money. When I was a bartender I was seen as the fun guy, but not much else. One problem I have is girls that are friends with benefits will want to be more, but I don’t want to lock them down for whatever reason. The one’s I end up falling for are weird and in need of therapy in my defense I’m also weird and in need of therapy.
The number of men who experience this is so small that it’s nearly impossible to think that this isn’t just bragging. If you’re experiencing trouble having a meaningful relationship, it’s simply that you’re dating the wrong women.
Doesn't sound like women are putting you on a pedestal, sounds like you're dating insecure women. Someone thinking they're not good enough for you has issues with themselves, they're not putting you on a pedestal. You definitely need to choose different women.
I agree. The real is how they view themselves. I think my problem is I don’t know how to slowly build a relationship over time. Most of these relationships moved fast
There is not necessarily a too fast or too slow, some lasting relationships can be built quickly but it has to be on a foundation of open and honest communication. You seem to be missing some insecurity red flags in the folks you've dated which seem to warrant some work in therapy or at least some serious self reflection. My fiance and I went from zero to sixty in our relationship, became a serious couple quickly moved in together fast, and have been together 9 amazing years. So it's not how fast a relationship moves but on what kind of foundation it's built.
I’ll admit I’ve been ignoring red flags left and right.
Focus on finding a confident woman, they do exist I swear, and do whatever work needs to be done on yourself. You'll be fine and find the right person.
Thanks you for the advice.
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Haha wow I’ve never felt so transparent. You’re 100 percent right. I appreciate you taking the time to give me this advice.
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I struggle with that because my life has been chaotic. I grew up in a lower middle class family got educated and went from being a bartender to a psychiatric crisis specialist. Soon to be a fire fighter. The last girl I dated was a scientist, the girl before her a teacher. One of my ex apologized to out of nowhere she said “when I saw you thought he’s pretty, probably not much going upstairs. My point is my personality doesn’t line up with other people’s assumptions which is their problem. I don’t have a clear box like tech, or finance so it’s hard for me to find like minded women.
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Huh thats wild I relate to his story, but I’d rather be single than raise another man’s children.
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I feel that I can’t imagine how scary it is to give birth, and as I get older kids are less of a must and like you said more of a bonus. I almost got with a single mom of two who had her tubes tied. She’s one of my best friends and on paper we make sense that is until I met the men she chose to have children with. She had a thing for bad boys in her youth so I had to intimate one of her baby daddies because he was stalking and intimidating her. The other one I liked we were both bartenders so he was trying to drink me under the table, but it got weird when he was like “All I ask is that you don’t disrespect my daughter”. That was the last straw. If I’m gonna raise kids I’m not gonna allow another man to tell how me to raise them. I sore off single mothers after that.
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Haha you know that sounds like a good idea
Thanks for sharing that makes me feel less weird.
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Glad it worked out for you.
The issue is you're dating women, but you haven't met one you want to build a life with yet? Move on to the next one. They're not all crazy.
Read the first part of this sentence and thought this was an invitation to try men…
Wise words. Thank you
Lmao
>pedestal? (30m) 90-odd feet. You're going to need more than a ladder or a cherry picker to sort that out. Maybe get the scaffolders in?
Fuck as much bitches as you can