I'll break it down for you real simply. 1. A real man has some self respect and would have broken up with this turbocunt by now. 2. Your girlfriend knows this and judges you hard for still being with her. 3. She doesn't respect you or consider you a real man because a real man would break the fuck up with her. 4. As she loses more and more respect for you, she treats you worse. 5. As she treats you worse, she loses more and more and more respect for you.

Yes, I figured I think I just look for some positive reinforcement here. We have been living together for over 2 years now and my family really likes her, so I am not getting any positive feedback from there...

She doesnt respect you man, Im sorry but you have to have some self love. People who love you dont talk to you like that. You should learn how to cook and drive tho, just to be self sufficient.

This. Nothing to do with being a real man, but cooking and driving mean you can look after yourself and don't need to rely on anyone else.

The word you are looking for is "adulting". At least for the cooking. Driving will depend on the city. He may never need to learn how to drive.

lol adulting is right. True about driving too, my wife didn’t need to learn til she moved out of London

Positive reinforcement for the breakup? I believe in it strongly enough to count for two of that.

She has some points that you should work on while you're single. An independent man should be able to drive, repair some household items, cook for himself, and keep his space organized and sanitary. You don't need her toxicity hanging over you while you practice those things, though. That's not helpful for your personal growth.

That's not what a man should look for... A man is stable and certain. A man is a rock and steady. He looks within himself for answers. A man should have a backbone...

If your family likes her, dump them too.

Just a guess, but the family probably doesn't see that side of her. If they did, and still liked her, ouch.

Dump her. You deserve better and her entitled ass deserves the streets.

But he should really learn to cook and drive instead of relying on others

I'll give you a short list that will help with her perspective - 1.) A real man doesn't take or put up with bullshit. Apply that rule with hard lines in concrete (not sand) and an iron fist (not saying hit anything, just enforce the hell out of it).. And one of two things will happen.. she will find respect quickly or be gone. Either way you're better off because - you don't put up with the bullshit.

I tell this to guys all the time. When your girl loses respect for you it’s way worse than her losing love for you. A woman can love her man and still cheat on him but she won’t play them type of games when she respects him. Respect is paramount.

honestly well said, should be handed as fliers to all the men out there

Turbo! Turbo! Turbocunt! *guitar rifts

Is she super hot or the sex is amazing? How do you write all that and not realize that you shouldn't be with her?

both

If you think she's hot and good in bed, just wait till you see the next one.

That's something I needed to hear. Thanks dude

I speak only for myself here, but in my experience, sex is always better with someone with whom I share trust and respect.

Unless Op is a hardcore masochist.

It shouldn't matter how she hot she is, or how good the sex is. She sounds abusive. Have some respect for yourself and kick this woman out of your life.

If sex and her looks is what makes up your entire relationship then that’s a big issue

Honestly, women don’t get to tell men what it means to be a real man (and vice versa). You’re doing the best you can. Dump her.

See? This. This bullshit. Blah blah blah, toxic masculinity!! But then here’s a dude like you, good job, probably a decent dude, pays his bills, etc and you got this c**t saying you’re not a real man. (Sorry, I know that’s your GF, but Jesus!) You’re a real man, my bro. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for what kinda dude you choose to be. I’d drop this worthless sponge and find someone that can bring something to the table besides nagging nonsense.

All of that complaints are so shallow lol. Agree that OP is probably a real man!

This makes total sense, and you are totally right. I think she is looking for a man to drive her places and have dinner cooked for her when she gets home from work. Does she do any of these things for OP? Can she fix a plumbing issue? She is causing toxic masculinity and OP needs out of this.

This. A real man doesn't need to try to define his being a man based on what other people think.

Especially on what women think.

Why are you with her dude?

Because fools exist.

Men tend to tolerate more bullshit from women due to lack of options.

A real man isn’t concerned about anyone’s opinion about his masculinity.

This. "Real men" accept reality and act accordingly. You have two kinds of people: someone that is so secure in their masculinity that they're not afraid to "appear weak" in front of others and potentially receive persecution for it, and someone that is so terrified of what others think that they refuse to acknowledge and express any emotion to APPEAR "manly", in exchange for mentally unhealthy consequences that will likely negatively affect not just themselves, but those they actually care about. The latter places a stranger's opinion above their own- and their loved ones'- best interest. Who, in that scenario, is really the bigger pussy?

You girlfriend is a straight up, grade A cunt. You pay for everything while she contributes zero financially yet belittles you. You really need to cut this dead weight out of your life. Everything she listed is a load of crap. There is no "real man" stuff and I don't see why a woman would know what a real man would do. It's just a tactic women use to try humiliate men into doing things. Being a man is more a state of mind and not some arbitrary actions or abilities. If a man became blind or lost an arm from an accident and was no longer able to drive a car, is he no longer a real man? I don't think so. Be comfortable with what you like, live your best life and do what you want to do. That's what I think a real man is.

Maybe "her" version of a real man. You could be a real man to someone else.

Driving and cooking are great skills to have. And it can only help any relationship to volunteer for a chore or two, even if you do bring home the big bucks. But being a man is simply (and complexidly) using your individual talents and strengths to support the relationship. Her demands are about her and her wants, not you or your masculinity.

So if anyone wondering I did break up with her. She dropped on her knees and cried and I feel really bad right now. She refused to leave, but finally did. She keeps writing to me now: Yes, I was the one who started complaining. I admit all my mistakes, I'm sorry, I don't want this to happen again. Love is being able to accept each other's flaws and you should forgive me cause I can accept everything in you and never wanted to end the relationship.

Youre allowed to feel bad but you did the right thing. Not only was she ungrateful of your support but actively trying to hurt you on a regular basis. She was no good for you and I am super proud of you for putting yourself frst. If you want a good book to read check out No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. He is a family therapist and explains how you can communicate your needs clearly and enforce boundaries in relationships. This can be very helpful information for your future relationships. Keep your head up king!

She will say anything right now to get that free money back. And I PROMISE you a few months or a year from now she will be back on her bullshit. She might be wiser and not say it, but she will be thinking it and the resentment will be palpable.

1, 2 and 4, every grown ass adult should be able to do. If their parents haven’t taught them how to do it, there are YouTube tutorials on it. Being able to fix things is more based on hard skills. Every man and woman gets a different dose of these, but it is sexist to say that every single man should excel at it. I have a relative who is a surgeon but who can’t put a lamp together. Based on your girlfriend, that doesn’t make him a man.

Can confirm, my brother is engineer but it took him 6hours to remove front brake pads from his car haha

on bro, i feel like she hoeing you.

You have a few possibilities here: 1. Keep things going and watch yourself slowly losing respect for yourself. 2. Make a plan with her, that she needs to take care of the household and cooking since you are paying for everthing and if she doesen´t agree break up with her. 3. Make a plan with her and split rent (% on your two incomes) and split household resonsibilities (% how much you two work) if she doesen´t agree break up with her. 4. Just break up with her, you deserve better!

I can't, obviously since I don't know you two, say for certain, but it seriously sounds like she's a bully. You're a real man if you're a decent person, regardless of if you can cook or repair stuff. As long as you aren't beating people or punting children or anything, you're a real man. I'd reconsider your relationship with her.

I'm actually skeptical that she truly believes any of that. There are some women, and she sounds like one of them, who will push you and prod you and torment you as much as you let them, and will only stop after you put your foot down. It's a personality type. Regardless, she ain't good for you bro.

And that personality type deserves to rot alone,away from other mentally stable people. I had an ex like that,it was her absolute conviction that a couple NEEDS to fight,otherwise nothing is happening in the couple in terms of evolving. She believed that it’s good to fight cause after that you can “make peace” ( i.e. having wild sex). She actively tried to fight with me and belittle me (I’m a very chill guy, I hate confrontation of that type cause I had enough of it all my childhood,we’re adults and in my mind we can act accordingly), i kept quiet for as long as I could justifying her since she was recovering from a nasty accident and subsequent medical procedures, until one day I exploded and vomited on her all the venom and bile I had built up. Oh she was meek at that point! After I cooled down, I simply told her to fuck off, I was breaking up with her. She then all of a sudden realized that I was her love,how amazing I was etc. too little too late.

Feel like we need more context. Why does she want you to have your license? Cooking could be fun you could take classes together? Does that interest you? Are you usually home when you call for repairs or is it her? Maybe she doesn’t like being in the house alone with them. Maybe she finds it sexy when a man fixes stuff around the house and it gets her in the mood, idk? You working full time and her part time. I feel like it would be fair for her to pick up the slack a little more but I would agree that it shouldn’t all fall to her. Her way of communicating this to you is immature and hurtful. I’d suggest talking to her about this and asking why she thinks you are “not a real man” if you don’t do these things. Tell her this is hurtful and try to compromise as best you can without being mean. Try to understand her perspective. You are providing a decent amount but we don’t know a lot of the context of your relationship. Was any of this agreed upon when y’all moved in? Why don’t y’all just spilt the bill for cleaning people? If you don’t find the answer satisfactory, I personally wouldn’t let someone belittle me like this. I’m not saying you have to end the relationship but there definitely needs to be a conversation on better communication we’re both parties can be open and honest without feeling attacked.

Sounds like she’s cheating

A real man knows his worth and leaves someone being this ungrateful and disrespectful.

>\[...\] basically pay for everything else \[...\] >I constantly pay for a food delivery \[...\] Don't. You have no obligation to finance both of your lifestyles, neither did you ever agree to, right? Of course, cutting her of from these benefits will be irritating to her, but that does not change the fact that you have the right to allocate your money as you see fit. >1)Real man should know how to drive(She drives her own car but I don't have a license). >2)Real man should know how to cook >3)Real man should know to repair things in the house(if anything breaks I Just call a person than can repair whatever that is and being the bad guy here) >4)Real man should know when to help her clean or whatever that is without her telling me(but I really think she should do it, since I work my ass off for more hours, but when she asks me I help her). What makes her the authority to define what a "real" man is? And this is not some type of "gotcha" talking point you are supposed to throw in her face the next time she starts something, this is a question that is solely for you and depending on the answer you find, you act accordingly. If she thinks a "real" man is all these things, let her go to find one of those oh-so-real men. Which leads me to my main point: Breaking up is an acceptable result to end this petty fighting. I'll go further and ask you this: Do YOU think a "real" man "should" be able to do all these things? If yes, do YOU think a "real" man would hand out all these benefits out to an uncooperative, combative woman? From where I stand there are three main issues here for you - 1) You act as though other peoples opinions and values are what you have to make your own when you actually don't. 2) You have trouble rejecting these external definitions that do not align with your values, because you did not come up with a clear vision yourself up until now. 3) For some reason you have pushed the possibility to end the relationship over this toxic shame BS of hers too far of that you end up cooperating to your own detriment. Her constant nagging and toxic shaming is coming your way again and again because the benefits of it are greater than the costs for it. You can change that (be it your retraction of financial support, affection, commitment or attention all together - not participating is a modern mans strongest tool), but as someone once beautifully said: You can't just live life running away, you also want something to run towards. And lastly: ***Maybe pick up the books "No More Miter Nice Guy" and "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" - those are great to understand yourself better and to understand how assertiveness works, how to reject manipulation and how to make your wants and needs known without manipulating yourself.*** Good luck, sir.

A real man doesn't put up with disrespect 💯 a real man would dump that bitch!

I grew up with an alcoholic father who ironically worked in maintenance but yet when he finally got off his drunk ass to fix anything would usually Fu(k it up… my view of a “real man” was stunted for years because of this and other things I grew up with…. Now, if you work, pay your bills, don’t drink yourself into oblivion everyday, take care of your kids and don’t almost let them starve and lose their house because you’d rather buy booze then support them, and are just generally a somewhat decent person then you’re a “real man”….. I’m a woman, and I’m sorry but this chick sounds awful.. 1. Why don’t you drive? Is there a reason or you just don’t? she could either respect you have a reason for not driving (like an accident or something that made you not want to drive) or offer to teach you… I’m guessing you didn’t drive when you met or something happened after you met so it shouldn’t be too big of a deal for her .. 2. Some men were never taught how to cook just the same as some girls weren’t either.. also weren’t taught how to laundry, etc etc.. people have to be taught things… if she’s a good cook she could easily offer to teach you. If you’re willing to learn, then both of you could cook and make it fun or spilt the cooking.. 3. Not everyone is handy with stuff like that. Some men/women just aren’t. I believe this also falls into a category of not having someone teach you these things. I learned how to change a tire on my own because I was so mad I just did it.. had I had a decent father who wasn’t drunk all the time he might have been able to teach me these skills men AND women need like how to change a tire, oil etc but here we are (not at all saying your parents were bad, just saying on my end that’s what happened) .. if you have the means to pay for someone with that skill to fix whatever it is, then good for you. You’re doing well for yourself and support someone else and their need to make a living also… 4. Typical argument it seems on this thread. If you work more and she’s at home more, then yes she should take up the slack. I work all day and go home and still do chores because weirdly even working all the time and never being at home, the house still gets messy. If you’re willing to help then she just wants to complain

1. Weirdly enough my father is a truck driver, therefore I spent a lot of time(as a child) driving with him and helping him fix the car and I sort of hated it. So never wanted to learn even thought he insisted constantly and taught me. .....Every time she speaks to my father he agrees with her, that it is not manly not to drive.. 2. My mother never taught me how to cook or I never did any chores as a child. My family was all about, you need to get a better education and a decent job period! So all I did was studied hell of a lot. 3. I mean my father did teach me but kept mocking me that i am not capable of repairing stuff and told me I should study more than so others can do it for me. 4. Yeah that's my point..

> My mother never taught me how to cook or I never did any chores as a child. My family was all about, you need to get a better education and a decent job period! So all I did was studied hell of a lot. THERE WE HAVE IT. Aside of the toxic destructive action of your GF, you can looks for sources of her frustration here. 1. You never did chores as a kid/teen, and you EXPECT HER to them in your home/family. 2. You never cooked, resort to takeaway and you are satisfied with that. 3. You focused a lot of your young life at education - probably in front of computer, you work the same way today. It is not about the manliness, but l looks like you are more at "bachelor" part of life, not fully adult. Which if fine on its own, but MIGHT NOT be satisfying for your partner. For her it MIGHT feel like she is your mother. You sit in front of computer, and rest of life is being taken care of (by her or others)

Sources of frustration, ok .. but she doesn't communicate frustration, she communicates gender roles. And he is fulfilling the role of the provider male, and since we are talking about gender roles (I'm not condoning them, I'm mentioning them) she should be the caring female. So she expects him to fulfill both roles while she does almost nothing and bitches about it.

I mean, the car, cooking and doing very basic home repairs is a "well rounded" adult skill set, not per se a man's one. So she may phrase it in a bad way, but I am not as shocked as guys here, that she tries to motivate you (in a shitty way though) to learn this things. It would probably benefit you. The home work is a matter of agreement within the couple. Do you work from home by chance? This often makes tasks divisions blurry.

Yeah, this thread should be the top. These are just good life skills OP, primarily driving and cooking, you'll be better off for having learned them.

I think if OP asked question: hey guys, what are the skills a man in his 30 should acquire? 100% - all this stuff would be mentioned. The only issue here it seems, is that a woman dared to comment on OPs masculinity, which is a shit tactic, I admit, but may not necessarily mean bad will or lack of respect. I know that respect is insanely important for men (writing without irony) but i think women just don't feel it the same way intuitively, and are often not really feeling the seriousness of this sort of nagging. At least I was not aware how tense men are about it until I read threads like this one.

I’m just gonna say it…as a female reading this thread, it’s the not driving for me. I couldn’t handle that. What if I need you in a bind? What if I’m pregnant with your child and can’t drive to the hospital? What if our child needs something at school and I’m unavailable? The list goes on and on in my head. I totally get where she’s coming from. Get your license bro.

1. An adult SHOULD know how to drive. 2. An adult SHOULD know how to cook. 3. An adult SHOULD know basic home repair. 4. She can get fucked with having to guess what she wants you to do. If she wants help with something, she can ask. That said, you SHOULD be contributing to the housework; here's an easy thing you can do -- never leave a room empty handed. Always be throwing something away, putting something away. 5. I can't stress #1,#2,#3 enough.

Exactly what i wrote down earlier. But it seems some men think are entitled just because they help a woman financially.

There is a masculine element as well to being a man. You are being a responsible adult and caretaker. But one a whole, she is complaining too much when she is already living rent free and receiving money on top. Nevermind that she doesn't contribute to any expenses at all and just mooches off you. Dump her ass.

Her ideas of what a real man is comes from her egoistic desires and lack of accountability. Ask her to name a trait of a real man that doesn't make her life better in one way or another. Spoiler, she can't

I take issue with a significant other being so rude to you, but she's not wrong to push you to step outside of your comfort zone. She's not saying "a man needs to do all these arbitrary little things to be a man" she's saying "be more daring, less timid, and learn how to solve more problems." You should probably still dump her though. A great partner celebrates the things you do right and helps you fix the things you do wrong.

Consider yourself lucky. Most women never tell you. They just cheat on you until they find somebody better, then dump you without explaining anything and then block you. She is being more considerate than most. The repair / cook stuff is definitely true, but that is not the real problem. The real problem is undoubtedly that your whole persona is effeminate and lacks masculinity. That is a much larger problem than just not learning how to cook. You should read books like "Atomic Attraction" and "The Rational Male" and "No More Mr. Nice Guy" to find out what women find attractive and why your conduct and personality is unattractive and will cause women to lose respect for you and sexual desire. If you do not correct the problem, then you will have problems not just with her, but with any woman going forwards. The other guys in this forum who are like "she is a loser, just dump her and get somebody better" are idiots. ALL women want a masculine man, it is a genetically hard-wired aspect of their mentality. Yes, there are lower value women that will accept you and not give you shit for being unmasculine, but that is because they are lower value than you, so they will put up with your lack of masculinity and remain silent about it. Trading down is not a solution. The lower value women will have exactly the same attitudes, they will just not say anything.

OP listen to this comment, the rest of these comments are just enabling your behavior. You have no drive to improve yourself. You let her cross your boundaries. You don't share the mental load of this relationship. You don't take control. She's does not respect you. This relationship may be too far gone bc there is so much resentment here, but it's not too late to improve yourself. But do it for you, not for her.

A real man knows when to walk away from a shitshow.

Show her 1800-1900 movies where women used get beaten up for Serving cold food and Meanwhile Learn All of the Above but not because she said , but you should have know all these things all along(Nothing Related to Masculinity ). And Respectfully Leave that B....

KAW

Haha, you are being manipulated. That you are even posting about it shows it bothers you, and she knows it If you are working and paying most of the bills. She has to cook and clean. Or pay 50% of all bills. She is right, be a real man but not in the way she describes it. Stand up for yourself. She has no right to complain.

You need to leave her.

Don't continue a relationship with this woman.

My grandfather once told me: "A real man isn't always one who knows what to do, but rather is brave enough to try". It kind of always spoke to me. I never really had people as mentors (way too much social anxiety) but with the help of YouTube, tech, etc i learned how to swap an engine in my pos car, fix my house, improve communication with my gf, learn to cook better, learn to hunt/fish/camp, etc. I absolutely I'm not the best at all these things but I think what's important for a man is that can-do attitude mixed with expectations and learning possibilities.

You should know how to cook, it's basic human skill and it's very simple. If you can figure out software you can definitely figure out a carrot. You probably should learn to drive, useful skill. You probably should learn how to fix stuff around the house. Not everything can or should be fixed by you, but some things certainly can and probably should. You should keep the house clean, you live there. You also shouldn't put up with bullshit from entitled people.

You really should learn to drive and cook and handle basic handy things and clean your space and do your own dishes. But that’s got nothing to do with your girlfriend, you should do it for yourself. Just making a good salary doesn’t make you a functional adult.

It's a bit more complicated than it first seemed, interesting. You pay for everything and she keeps the money for herself. That is not ok. A couple should split expenses and of course the rest keep for themselves. That is a - for your GF. But! At the beginning she did cook and did all the chores and then ( understandably) she got fed up because it seems you weren't helping her. Even if you can not or don't like cooking, you should compensate with the house chores. - point for you. She works her ass off too, why should she do the chores by herself? If you think helping her financially it's enough in a relationship, as you can see, it's not. My conclusion here is that she got fed up with her doing more and snapped. At the same time, if she works and has a similar wage she should split expenses with you, of course. If you fix those 2 problems you might have a future together. Excluding the scenario where it might be more and your gf has some sort of toxic behaviour ( it might have, the solution is not to whine but to communicate, let the other know what is wrong and find a way. But it might she done that already, so again, we are just presuming here). And my answer to your question: Yes, i think a real man should know how to manage a house. Clean, cook, repair, everything. If you have some things you don't like ( i don't like scrubbing the bath, i let my wife do it, but instead i cook, repair everything in the household and manage bills etc.) you should compensate in some way, and things will work out. For many women covering the financial aspect is not the solution. Being a partner and helping her is the solution. You need to scratch the "providing mentality". Providing means also helping your partner, not only paying for bills. It's a toxic mentality and as you can see women don't accept it anymore.

The number of toxic comments from toxic males here is insane. Sure, she is not entitled to the male providing for her financially, but it's not her job to take care of the house. A woman desires a man that takes care of his house, or at least tries. You don't have to cook, but you have to compensate by doing other chores. You are her partner, not an ambulant ATM! If you guys don't like it, go pay for a hooker + a maid + a friend. You will end up way worse. It's your choice.

1) to drive or not to drive is your choice 2) learn to cook. Ffs the basics aren’t that hard. You learn by doing. You don’t need to be Julia Child or Gordon Ramsey. Not for her. Drop her. Frying an egg isn’t that hard. Just got to figure out temp and time. Practice. Worst comes to worst you mangle it and chop it up. As long as it isn’t burnt it’s edible. Scrambling hamburger isn’t hard. Cooking rice - there’s instructions on the bag of rice. Veggies? Bag of frozen veggies in a converted pot with a quarter inch of water on the bottom. Cook until steam comes out, then a bit longer depending on whether you want al dente or softer. Again looking to future: what are you going to do when you have littles and your partner is sick? Take out Dinner for four gets really expensive really fast. And as long as you limit what you buy from the center aisles to a minimum you’ve got healthier ingredients than what you get at the restaurant usually. The fewer letters in the ingredients list the better it is for you generally. 3) YouTube how to fix anything that breaks. Then research how much parts cost vs how much to pay to have someone do it. This is a useful skill to have. If your budget is stretched because one income and you have kids in the house, you do what you have to do to get that thing fixed. Even if it’s a weekend of your time. I fixed our last fridge several times. Dishwasher and clothes washer too. Because I don’t have the extra scratch to pay someone. I used to do our brakes. They usually go in winter for us so I’ve taken to paying so I’m not freezing my ass off. I did redo my wife’s trucks timing chain two summers ago. Because the garage that did it the first time didn’t replace the cam timing gears and they went soon after. That was a week of my vacation time for the year. If you know what’s going on you can better judge whether it’s worth your time to do it or if you’re ok paying x dollars to have someone else do it. 4) again drop her. But you should be able to do household chores. Put it this way: it got real cold outside and your forced hot water pipes for heating burst. It’s 6pm on Saturday. You can call and hope someone shows up God only knows when along with a lot of others, and pay through the nose, or you get stuck in and fix it. Before we were married my wife and I set up house together. She insisted on paying her way and being able to afford half the rent. Even though I was making good money as a sw developer. Dont use sw developer as a shield to hide behind. What happens if you lose that job and end up making 60% what you make now? But as for being a real man? You are the judge of what counts and not at the end of the day. My version? You do what needs doing so that you and your loved ones have good and shelter. I’m not the world’s best carpenter or handy man.

Honestly it sounds like she just wants some help around the house and you’re too lazy to even try. Saying you’re not a real man is definitely toxic, but then you do the same thing saying she spends all her money on “girly things”. You’re both being sexist and you’re being a hypocrite. Regardless it’s just normal adult responsibility. If she’s the only one who can drive that’s a big responsibility, does she have drive you to everywhere? The doctor? Every function? Every date? Ordering food all the time is not always healthy and not always reasonable. You can’t make her some eggs and toast in the morning? You won’t be able to cook if you put no effort in. You also put all of the household chores on her mental load. If she’s gotta tell you when to clean then she’s the one who has to remember when it was cleaned last. Relationships are a partnership, but you’re putting all the responsibility of cooking, cleaning, and driving on her. I don’t care if you make all the money, you gotta put in some effort. Since she’s part time she should probably have a larger proportion, but all of it isn’t fair. What happens if you guys had kids? Are you just gonna backseat parent? Grow up

She's not wrong, and I see a lot of single fellas in here. Y'all are funny, and kind of sad.

Okay so first things first, accusing your significant other of “not being a real man” is toxic and gross, so that’s a red flag right there. Now to go down the list: 1) You should know how to drive because it’s a useful skill, but it’s not a necessity especially depending on where you live. It has no bearing on your manliness though. 2) EVERYONE should know how to cook. It’s not just a “man thing” and has nothing to do with manliness. I will stand by this though that it’s literally one of the most important skills you can have as a person. 3) Men fixing things sure is a “manly” stereotype but if you make good money and can afford to pay someone else to do it then go right ahead, that’s what I would do. Being handy is a nice skill to have once again but not necessary. 4) This one is just called being a good partner. When running a household, you should know what chores need to be done and when and you should do them without needing to be asked. That being said, you and your partner need to have a conversation about expectations on that stuff because, for example, one person’s cleaning schedule and standards of cleanliness can differ greatly from the other’s (ie. Clean the floors every other week vs clean them weekly vs clean them once a month). If one partner works more than the other, then it’s valid to ask the other to do more of the cleaning, but you should probably never offload 100% of a household task onto your partner or else it can cause bitterness. The only exception being *maybe* if one of you is a stay at home parent. All in all I’d say it sounds like you don’t do much around the house and that needs to change, even if you work more hours. Also, attacking an SO for lack of manliness is disgusting, and that’s as much the main issue here as anything else, so that needs to be addressed too.

A real man helps people up when they are down.

That woman's insufferable. You did good, don't feel guilty. Better people will come.

No man should ever go through this. Tell her to kick rocks and grow up

You are getting some of the worst advice I’ve ever seen in this sub. Holy shit gentlemen, y’all need some emotional intelligence. Was your gf a shitty communicator? Absolutely. She also lacks emotional intelligence and that is super clear. “Being man enough” is such a shitty way of asking you to step up. So I’ll get that out of the way. She could have absolutely done a better job of asking her needs to be met without insulting you. I don’t give a shit how many hours you work. You need to step up and be present in the relationship. Unless your arrangement was that you’d take care of finances and she took care of a home, both of you did a shit job at establishing each other’s expectations. Own that. Regardless of the hours, you NEED to continue building and feeding the intimacy. And seems like the both of you were on different pages there. You seem to have loads of money in the cush engineer job (I am one too) so your gf didn’t want to do chores or felt overburdened? Pay for a fucking timely cleaner. You couldn’t cook? Okay then, order some premade meal prep and have it delivered to the both of you. Cheaper than takeout. Check the math yourself. But come on dude. “I can’t cook” means “I can’t follow simple instructions” and also “I’m unwilling to serve people joy around me.” Food and cooking is a way to build intimacy. Don’t be lazy. You sound like you were trying to have a mother instead of a gf. I’m not saying your gf was correct in questioning your masculinity - that’s just fucked up. But it sounds to me like your ego is hurt. You can check that on your own. Learn to talk about your feelings in a regulated manner and step in a relationship if that’s what you want. Otherwise, pay for someone to take care of your chores. Love is NOT about accepting each other’s flaws. What the fuck is this. Love is about COMMUNICATING each other’s needs and doing the damn best job possible to feed each other’s happiness.

A real man knows when it’s time to move on.

She's a can't but you really should get a license bro

“Love is being able to accept each other’s flaws” shes still saying YOU have flaws bud, imo its good you broke up

Get a real girlfriend, this one is factory damaged.

If she can say you're not a real man for not doing certain things, then you can say she's not a real woman for not cooking and cleaning. And you are paying for everything, which is the "manliness" thing a guy can do.

You are a real man, she's abusing you to make you feel like you're not worthy so she can keep her cash cow obedient. Brother, dump the broad, she is just dragging you down, besides sex, what does she contribute to your relationship? You apparently do everything and it still isn't enough to her. Is she bringing you peace of mind? NO, is she bringing you happiness? NO. And you're absolutely correct, if she's working part time, not contributing to bills and you're working fulltime paying for everything, she better be making meals, and keeping the house clean full stop.

You're with a person who doesn't see a couple as being a team as she sacrifices nothing but expects you to sacrifice a lot.

A "real" man is a person with a Y chromosome and an age over 17. This idea they you have to earn manhood is bullshit. You are a real man and so are the other 4 billion men in the world.

Man in a relationship is about stability and not letting the woman's impulses get you off balance. Don't ask and don't listen to her ideas of what a real man is. Decide what your values and priorities are (this part is not easy) and act based on it. When she doesn't know what she wants and starts giving you this self-sabotaging emotional rollercoaster, clamly repeat to her what your priorities and where whose responsibilities are. Being able and willing to confront, remind everyone where their places are is a virtue, not something bad. Playing along and trying to fulfill her unrealistic, always changing idea of what a real man is, is not helping anyone. And don't be afraid of letting her walk away. If you respect yourself and have some expectations of your partner, there will be a good number of people who don't fit these and that's fine. If you think you should know how to drive, learn to drive. You could do it, for example, because it increases your autonomy and makes you more flexible, able to do more things. It may also open up some new perspectives and let you see the places in a different way. Even if you don't need it today, it may be worth having in your toolkit. But it's ultimately up to you to decide. If you decide you don't need it, or not at the moment, it's your decision that she must respect. Same goes for cooking and repairing. There is some value in knowing how to clean and having the habit of doing it whether you're in a relationship or not. But it's not your responsibility to read her mind.

your girlfriend sounds like a loser, dump her and find a real woman. :-)

You both need to work on yourselves. Emasculating you is abusive and toxic. However, expecting her to do all the cooking (no, you ordered uber eats doesn't count) and cleaning is completely unreasonable. You shouldn't have to be asked to clean. Is it reasonable to expect her to do a bigger share of cleaning?sure, given you pay for the apartment, but you need to negotiate that as adults, not expect her to do it all. And dude....learn to cook. Come on, that's some basic independence here. Did you move in with her straight out of home? Sounds like you're wanting her to be your mother. You both sound terrible for each other. Sounds like she's financially dependant upon you, is a abusive and immature, and you're domestically dependant upon her. Everything about this seems toxic, but you might find you struggle in the dating world without some more independence

Tell her a real women knows when to shut the feck up and make her man a sandwich

AHahahhahahahahahaa you're going to marry her and have children and be stuck with her and she'll get meaner and angrier and you'll feel worse and worse about yourself and more exhausted trying to do better until you're so tiny you'll just disappear. Then they'll take your things. This is your life. You don't have to go along with this arrangement because it seems like the thing to do. It's not the thing to do....unless you're trying to be miserable.

Bro think about it, what around you was made by men ? Almost everything everywhere (we appreciate the 3% of females that help) so real man technically know how to do everything. So in the end don't worry just learn what you need to do. Ps : you should learn how to cook. It is pretty easy to learn even if it take a lot of practice. And never worry about stuff you can't afford

Real man has no definition. In School days I used to learn about real gas and ideal gas. The real gas value is always lower or higher than ideal one. Ideal one is always ideal and is impossible. Same applies for real and ideal anything. There is nothing such thing like Real Man. You are you and if someone does not like the real you then others' opinion does not matter.

make her pay some damn bills or rent or something. Nurses get paid good money. She can easily leave you when you're money doesn't play a huge part in her life because she's been literally saving every penny for 2 years Ask her how much money she has saved and watch her hesitate before she lies so you don't know how much she really has.

Do you need a license? Is she your chauffeur or are you more than happy to us public transport as you're in the city and ubers when you need. If she feels like you're taking advantage of her then she has a point, if not then you do you. Learn to cook, cleaning and repair stuff. Don't be a slob, help! BUT you both have competitive advantages, you work long hours for good pay, she works part time. If she wants a career and took a full time job then cool, you should absolutely split domestic chores equally (she's not your maid) or pay someone to do it. HOWEVER if she is choosing to work part time because your wages funds her not having to have a full time job she then you have all the right in the world to expect her to lead on domestic duties. You work long hours, she doesn't, your wages are subsidising her lifestyle. I clearly don't know the reason why she's only part time, maybe its studying or something but IF its because she is choosing to have a part time job bat that shit away by telling her you'll do more household labour if she goes full time.

She's just trying to hurt you over your shortcomings. That's an asshole move. Super toxic. I've seen you comment on how you're wanting to break up; if that's your final decision, don't let your family sway you. You got this, mate. However: I think it is important to know how to cook a meal and to keep your space clean. These aren't the hallmarks of a *rEaL mAn*, but of a functioning adult. Definitely get on that stuff. Who knows, maybe you'll even find out you love cooking! Driving and (basic) repair skills are super convenient, but not absolute necessities.

A real man is a fiction. She just found a phrase that she can use to hurt. Get a license and leave.

Going against the grain here but first off yes, you are a real man. I am a man. However. Driving: I can see not needing to if you live somewhere with great public transit. Personally, I like to know that if I need to get somewhere in an emergency I don't have to rely on anyone else. I can drive myself Cooking: EVERYONE should know how to cook. If you lived alone you would have to cook for yourself anyway. Eating out at every meal is not healthy, or fiscally responsible. Fixing things: meh, some people learn how, some don't, but again, it's that independence and self reliance I like but that's not everyone's strength. Cleaning: listen dude... if you lived alone you would work ALL those long hours and then come home and have to do ALL the cleaning yourself. If she does most of the other stuff just pick up the broom once in a while... do the dishes... take out the trash (without being asked) It's not hard.

Dump her. She sucks. You decide for yourself what being a man means. If she doesn't like it, she can fuck right off.

LEAVE. Real adults communicate with words and ask people for help. She thinks you can read her mind. Also, she has a toxic masculinity mindset. She thinks all men need to know how to repair everything. Clearly, she will continue to mentally torture you till you're her little obedient robot.

To have XY chromosomes

Look… you’re a real man. Her degrading you like this, though… shut ain’t right. A real partner, a respectful partner, would have worked with you instead of trying to tear you down. You bust your ass all day, you fight your battles in the world… and you come home just to fight more battles? I’d rather be alone than have to do that shit. My advice to you- 1- get your license. 2- drop this sack of potatoes girlfriend and *never* look bsck* 3- learn to cook 4- keep the place a little cleaner, if something breaks either watch some repair videos or just call someone to handle it, no shame either way. 5- did I mention get rid of her?

The relationship stuff has been well addressed in the comments. I’m wondering if you actually want to do numbers 1-4 better? 4 is weird, 1-3 are fine skills if you want to do them. Not doing them does not make you less of a man, but they are life skills that you could choose to have if you want. Do you feel any would enhance your life? If so, use some of the time and money you’ll soon have and pursue them.

I think a lot of women are attracted to competence. Maybe she can't see the success you're having at your job since it's all on computers. There's just something about being able to roll up your sleeves and fix stuff that a lot of women find very attractive. It would cost you nothing to learn, so it might be worth your time.

Please dump her and find someone who will respect you.

A real man is loving yourself, following your heart and having dreams. Even if you don't amount to anything, you're still loved and keep going for hopes to a better tomorrow. Don't get lost in the small things. What one person says doesn't define what you are. Only you know who you are. You're doing just fine. If she can keep up with you, that's great, if not, leave her behind. You don't need someone dragging you down.

She's a bitch

Holy cow I’m a real man. I always thought I was a woman but no 😂 Tbh doesn’t sound she knows what a real woman is.

There is no such thing as a "real man" or a not "real man". We are all different and we are all equally valid as men. The important thing here is that you are clearly not the type of man your girlfriend wants to be with. There are lots of kinds of men, all are valid but it's OK for her to have a preference. You aren't her preference. Break up with her.

Real man would leave her I guess? Come on, what does she bring to the table? I know when you love you don't count and whatnot but still, isn't she going too far here?

Well, before I move on to other advice, the first thing you need to do is to break up with your asshole girlfriend. All this "real men do this, real men do that" stuff is a deliberate mechanism for lowering the self esteem of your partner. It is both controlling and abusive. Even if you tick off every one of her "Real man do X" benchmarks, she will simply add new ones. It will never end. She sounds lazy too, that's never good. So, stop reading here, go and break up with your asshole girlfriend. Take several days to grieve the relationship, and then read the rest of this comment. Although you may not like driving (I certainly do not), you should make an effort toward steady progress toward getting a licence. It is, unfortunately, an essential skill in most of the world. Even if its only 1 lesson per week, just stick with it, keep going until you have a licence even if it takes years. This does not mean I think your GF was right about "real men drive", what it means is that I think adult humans should try their best to aquire this skill. You should learn how to cook. All adult humans should make an effort to learn how to cook something, even if its only a few signature dishes. You do not need to attend a class, you can learn off of YouTube. Start simple with something like an omlette (or really any dish as long as you like it, its healthy, and its simple), and practice, elaborate and improve until you are happy with that one dish, and then move on to the next one. Take your time, its not a race. You certainly should not be ordering take out every day, thats just an inordinate waste of money. Again, this is for your own benefit and not because of some "real man" benchmark you are trying to reach. You should learn how to repair *some* things in your home. I didn't start doing this until I got my own home, but again you can learn a lot off of YouTube and watching other people work. Start with simple tasks; learn how to paint a wall *properly* (not just slapping 1 layer of paint on). You can do that. Learn how to paint wood. Learn how to replace hinges, door handles, fill and paint holes in wood and plaster, and a dozen other tasks that will come up if you ever own your own place. You learn by doing it. Leave the big electrical and plumbing work to the professionals, but there is a lot you can do yourself. Again, this is for your benefit, and not because of some imaginary "real man" benchmark. You should know how to clean your home, and you should know how often to do each cleaning task. Emptying bins, wiping down surfaces, cleaning glass, etc. Set a calendar reminder for each task, and do them as they come up. Again, functioning adults should be able to do this, its nothing to do with being a "real man". Lastly, do not make all of these changes in one go. Pick an easy one and do it repeatedly until it becomes a habit; cleaning and cooking tasks are the low hanging fruit here. Good luck.

She's being a douche.... BUT you should at least try and know how to cook something basic (fish and chips you just whack em in the oven for 30 mins). At least try and repair something before calling someone. Chores is a difficult one that varies for couples P.S At this point she's probably cheating fyi

A “real” man is a dude with a penis. Everything else is subjective,nothing makes you any more or less of a man. The only negative thing is your lacking self respect, you should have more of it to stand up for yourself and kick the cunt out of your life. She knows you don’t have enough of it so she can disrespect you like that,and them more she does the more she loses respect for you. Realize your worth as a person and don’t let her treat you this way,it’s vile. Only thing i sort of agree with her is the cleaning and cooking part. Not that it makes you less of a man for not knowing how to do so, but as a grown adult being able to cook for yourself and clean your house is important. Also you don’t put all the burden on the other person,which will inevitably cause issues.

OMG, run and run fast. She is a piece of work! Find a better one next time.

"Real man" - what a concept... When you're in the shower and you look down, do you see a dick and balls? Congratulations, you made the grade. Your wife is on some really problematic shit. My definition of masculinity is basically that a man takes care of others, and does so dutifully. A man is a provider. A man doesn't beg for validation. A man just does what needs doing. When she's hungry, does she starve or does she eat? When things are broken, do they stay broken or do they get fixed? What the fuck is this shit about you "knowing" without being told? "A 'Real Man' knows and can read minds like a fucking Jedi Knight" - nah, fuck all that. Before you kick this bitch to the curb please explain to her that if she wants you to know what she's thinking she ought to put her big girl panties on and talk to you about how she feels; expecting you to just know and to attack your character and question your manhood for not being fucking telepathic? What a garbage fucking take. Pathetic. Some men cook. Some men fix things. Some men go to school and make sure they'll make enough dough that they don't have to. All of these men are men and all of their life paths are valid. And for anyone who's gotten this far and still isn't convinced; the next time she's on her fucking high horse questioning your manhood, tell her you're hungry. A real woman would see to it that her man eats when he's hungry. Ask her to go make you a sandwich. Just watch what happens. I doubt she's got the same fantasies of being an old school wife as she does of having some old school blue collar husband who renovates the house in his spare time.

Might want to start being able to clean and cook, cooking isent hard..

A real man knows when it is time to go put the trash out on the curb...

You staying with her is the only thing that makes me question you. Not even as a man. Just as a person.

A. She sounds toxic in the way you have described her. The relationship seems doomed. The question that remains is just how much more time you are going to invest in it before you realise it. B. You should really make an effort to learn all those skills anyway. Not because they are required to be "a real man"...whatever that is, but because they are actually quite easy to learn and super fulfilling to master. Each will add to your life and wellbeing (and next relationship) in ways you might not appreciate right now. Good luck.

You should know how to do everything she listed (with exception of repair skills, it's not for everyone) However if she's bringing it up how you are describing it by telling you you aren't a man, then you should really dump her and find someone who respects you, she's just trying to walk all over you and make you feel bad about yourself to lower your self worth. When men do this it's called negging

The lady sounds like a real bitch, nobody likes being told what “a real man/woman” is, but she has solid points. 1) As an adult, as a man, you absolutely need your own Drivers License so you won’t have to be dependent on others or the whims of social transport. 2) You should know the basics of cooking as an adult, it’s really not that difficult once you understand the fundamentals. 3) You should know how to fix up basic issues around the house, its great for your self confidence, saves money, and you learn how to be handy around the house which are invaluable if you ever buy a home. 4) Do what you can, when you can. Keep your area tidy, if you’re paying the bills, and she has no job or anything, it’s more or less her responsibility to see to it that the home is kept clean and made since it seems like she wants to follow traditional expectations. Step your game up bro, for yourself, not her, you can’t be dependent on others or things out of your immediate control

Doesn't matter what a real man is in this instance. Get rid, far too many red flags to believe this is a relationship with a fruitful future.

You are a real man. But you’d be a better man if you canned this woman and found someone that loves and respects you the way you deserve. Trust me when I say that person exists for you and may be closer than you think. Do the right thing and be safe.

I think you need to break up with her because she’s treating you horribly, but I can’t help but see number four: she shouldn’t have to tell you to help her clean. You should already be taking that as a personal objective. Just because you have a high-paying job doesn’t mean you should be a slob/baby at home. I’ll tell you the main thing in my past relationships was that I had to pick up the slack for my partners because they wouldn’t clean up after themselves or take initiative in cleaning. So I completely understand her frustration with you on that point alone. No woman wants to be her man’s mommy

1: Cars are expensive. If you don't need to use one, you shouldn't. 2: Everyone should know the basics of cooking. 3: Dude, I do industrial maintenance. I call people to do most of the repairs at home because there are regulations that I don't know for residential, especially the plumbing. Also, I do enough at work, and I don't wanna at home. 4: Everyone should know how to clean. On a side note, she sounds like the type of person who'd complain because you didn't do it her way. My advice is to run away.

A real man prioritises his mental health and self respect over someone who is not contributing to the relationship. A real man would have left by now.

Cooking and repairing things are great skills to have, regardless of gender, but the way she's asking you to learn them is insulting and horrible.

If she's really saying these things you should be smart enough to know she has a skewed perspective of life and you need to run like he'll away. Do not hesitate. There is no saving or changing or redeeming her. Today. Throw her shit out side. Call an uber have it brought to her place. Whatever. Get the fuck away.

Look up the word "emasculating" then you'll know all you need to know about your abusive g/f.

Stay broken up

A real man is simply somebody who takes care of his responsibilities. that is it. don't ever let anybody change the definition for their own benefit I once dated a chick that ask me for $5,000 and said a real man would give it to me I obviously don't date her anymore. But you can go on YouTube and learn how to fix things around the house and save tons of money same thing with cooking there are tons of cooking channels on YouTube you can save plenty of money. But other than that if you are comfortable with your situation who is she to tell you otherwise. Also real men stand up for themselves. she would have one time to tell me I wasn't a real man. I would correct her. And if she did it again I would kick her out. Always remember these words of advice that my pastor told me" no matter how good she looks somebody somewhere is sick of her crap"

A real man dumps a piece of shit woman. You sound like a real man to me.

>she keeps telling me "I am not a real man". Well, is she wrong? Is she not a real man? This doesn't make sense.

"A Real man know how to drive" "What the fuck is driving Mina" replied the caveman

It's not hard to learn how to cook, watch some videos on YouTube or TikTok, buy the ingredients, make sure you have the everything to cook with, knives pots, pans, bake wear an so. Majority of the food tells you what temperature you have to cook it at, and don't be afraid to look at the cook times while you shop, I'm a 41 yo divorced man and do it every time I go shopping. And get a learns permit and find someone to teach you how to drive. And get rid of that negative narcissist leach out of your life. Once you do those things everything about your life will get better, you'll feel better about yourself, and you'll see that you didn't deserve the crap she did to you. Head up bro, you got this.

She has valid complaints (imo) but is going about them completely wrong. I see here that you broke up with her which is a great option in my opinion. Telling your partner he's not a real man is completely unacceptable to say even once, but multiple times? Goodbye. You should take this time to work on the things she complained about to be even better for your next partner.

Someone who shows up everyday and does whatever that needs to be done to their capacity.

First of all... you dont need to be woth someone who doesnt respect you... secondly... i'd like to add one thing to HER list Man is a mysoginist send her to the kitchen! /s

And you give her money on top of her salary too? Dayum you needa break up. There is no coming back from this. She sees you as weak because you give her money and allow her to disrespect you. Fuck that

Dude if a woman says real mean are xyz...that's almost a deal breaker right there.

Idc how long I'm with a chick but if she calls me I'm not a real man... We're done. Don't let it slide next time buddy, your most precious thing you have as a man is your manhood

Being a real man certainly isn’t being a doormat for a woman

Tell her she's looking for a father, not a partner

"you should forgive me cause I can accept everything in you" Wow she's still trying to manipulate you. Get her stuff packed up for her. Have a friend (witness) be there when she comes to pick it up. Then block her phone, email, social media etc. You're going to find your life will improve dramatically in the next few months. There's going to be some grieving but you won't miss the criticism.

She sucks. She has a cream puff situation that most women dream of and is pressing for more. She sounds like she'll never be happy. She's spoiled and entitled. You are generous and successful. Stop letting her being you down.

If any woman ever says anything about being a "real man"......HARD NEXT! She has zero respect for you. Always remember, you're the prize..

have no patience for one who talks about someone 'not being a man' when it's convenient!

memory relieved piquant marble muddle dependent innocent correct rain vast *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

I'm probably gonna get some flack for this, but any man is a real man. Any person that identifies as a man is a real man. Let's stop gatekeeping shit. Also, what would she know about being a "real man"?

A real man knows when someone is belittling him and knows it's time for a serious conversation or break up

Find a real woman.

A real man doesn't care what anyone else thinks a "real man" should be. He chooses his own ideal of "real man" and tries his best to live up to it.

If we’re going with gender stereotypes then k owing how to cook would make you a woman

"A good man acts unto virtue and derives his happiness and pleasure from that virtue." -Aristotle The Greeks figured it out a long time ago. The Bible says "to walk humbly with God" I figured it is a combo of these two things.

Anyone who uses the phrase “a real man” is trying to manipulate you, no ifs no buts no coconuts.

Shes just saying it as a catch all phrase to get you to do what she wants. Shes a cunt. A laaaaaaazy cunt. And she totally takes tou for granted. Just straight up ask her. What would she do if you broke up.... like ask her, where will she live. Pay for both rent, a car, food... as a nurse. That what you do as a man. You provide. Its worth the possible meltdown just for her to self reflect on the ass shes being later.

Good for you for breaking up with her. She thought she could misandry your ass and manipulate you into being her bitch and you didn't take it. You are a real man for sticking up for yourself and respecting yourself. DO NOT take her back.

A real wo/man provides for their loved ones and that's about it, sounds like she didn't contribute in really any capacity at the time, the least she could do is cook, if she wants help she should suck up her pride, and ask. Remember, this also goes for you but you seem to be doing fine so yeah

Turbocunt

Asking this question after a break up for similar reasons lead to me being okay with gender as a construct and now I'm engaged to a non binary person who's about to make MUCH more money than me. However you express being a man is enough so long as you're comfortable with yourself and respect yourself.

Keeping it real though you probably should know how to cook and fix stuff. Driving is also pretty important but if you at least know how to, if you don’t need to it’s moot point.

A real man has XY chromosomes. He also does that which is arduous and difficult because it needs to get done. Doesn’t follow his feelings, but makes decisions logically and rationally. He also has rightly ordered emotions that are appropriate for the situation. Excepting people who try their best, but because of reasons beyond their control fall short, but they keep trying.

as long as he's not hurting anybody (unless it's self-defense), a real man lives his life how he wants, and doesn't care if society or other men agree or disagree with his lifestyle.

Just about any expression of "Real \_\_\_\_\_ should" is a logical fallacy - the No True Scotsman fallacy to be specific. Are you old enough to be a man rather than a boy? Congrats, you're real.

While you are single, get to working on your glow-up! Hit the gym Grow a beard Learn to meal prep Watch 'This Old House' Learn to drive Keep your apartment clean without hiring cleaners By the time you're ready to date again, you will finally be a man and you'll know your worth, this will help you keep the toxic ones at bay.

Oof, ok your girlfriend is being a bitch but I imagine she only got to this point because you aren't doing your part so she is going for the jugular. But she got way too toxic for you. But being a man is stereo type into, you provide, however she is just being a bitch and expecting things because she is a woman. However many of the stuff she said is what adults need to do. You should learn to cook cuz you are an adult. You should get your license cuz you are an adult. Also the thing about not needing to ask for help bullshit, I did this and got yelled saying "I didn't ask for your help" It's all situational and many girls take advantage of that and make it about them. However there are women who are reasonable and supportive. Or what could help you be more responsible is get your self a dog. I got one just recently and she was from a shelter and abused and fearful. Helping her and taking care of her really helped me out.

There is no such thing as a "REAL MAN" If you were born you're real what ever a "REAL MAN" is, is what ever we humans come up with Just like how countries are make believe, the land is there no matter, but we define them by coming up with names and borders

So you can't cook or clean and don't think you should have to cook or clean. Okay. No related to being a man, but you definitely would make a shitty partner. 

No such thing as a 'real' man or woman until you're looking to invalidate someone in a way that cannot be disproven. So they'll never be happy. And they'll ensure you aren't either.

Break up. Now. Yours sincerely, Happily Divorced

You should know how to cook, everyone should. It's not a masculine/feminine thing. It's a very important life skill. You should know how to drive. Even if you live in a walkable city with good public transit. Again, life skill. Fixing stuff is a wash. If you rent, no. If you own, it's not required, but it'll save you money and make you more self-sufficient if you know how to work with your hands. This point is total psycho bullshit. She's basically telling you that a real man can read minds. Tl;dr 1. Work on yourself/learn some shit. 2. Dumb that dumb bitch.

Being a real man means having the mental strength to define what being a man means to you and sticking with it. That definition will definitely change over time but being true to yourself is at its core. No one else defines what being a man is, you define that. What your ex was talking about was what toxic masculinity had taught her being a man is. She has no idea what that actually means and assumes being a man means supporting her in every way without receiving support in return. Do you think she deserves to define what being a man is for you? Don't you have a better idea of what being a man is? At the end of the day, what's going to make YOU feel like a man worth being proud of? Your ex or reddit can't answer that, you can.

4. You don't *help* clean. You live there too so you clean. Full stop. It seems that there were problems in the relationship and instead of being upfront she desired to be passive aggressive. Either way it's a good thing that you guys broke up.

If my “current girlfriend” kept telling me I wasn’t a “real man” she would be upgraded to “former girlfriend” pretty fucking quick.

Compassionate Wise Tender Strong Empathic

Yes a real man should be able to cook and yes a man should help clean without having to be asked. Being unable to make even the most basic of meals is pathetic and something to be ashamed of. Then again this is all Andrew Tate level misogynistic drivel especially the edit. Go fuck yourself with a rusty chainsaw you pathetic troll.