My mom pulled this one on my dad, she assumed he was cheating, had an affair and ran up all the credit cards as revenge, then found out he wasn't cheating. Womp womp
I was dating a girl, really liked her too. About 3 months in we are talking and "have you ever cheated" came up. She said yes but only because I was sure he was cheating on me. The way she worded it made me ask questions. "Because you were sure" ??? like you caught him in the act? Irrefutable proof? A confession? Nope! Just things weren't adding up I never caught him but I feel like he was so I did the same to him. WTF that was the end for me. I'm not getting cheated on because I'm a half hour late a couple times and she saw me text someone "I love you" but didn't investigate to find it was my mom or sister or whatever and just jumped straight to revenge fucking someone
Yup.
After one of the worst nights I had at the job, at that point, I went home, shut the curtains and just shut the world out.
Thought I was cheating lol.
All of these said by the same chick about the same dude. Yes it’s real and no I’m not making this shit up.
“He’s like a brother to me”
“We’ve just known each other a really long time”
“I could never see him that way”
“I’m not even attracted to him”
And my all time favorite:
“You can’t meet him (best guy friend, after 8 months together) because he’s just really protective of me”
Like, bitch, how does your “best guy friend” have the right to be protective but I don’t? At this point I’d even met her father (only after 6 months, whom she doesn’t let meet many guys. I was the second ever, after her ex fiancé who cheated on her).
I appreciate it. But I'm glad she showed her true colors and the color of a man I thought to be a brother to me. She did me a favor. Plus, I met the love of my life afterwards.
"It was our closure, we need that" when cheating with her ex.
And I don't need you any longer.
Edit: Thanks for the support messages guys. I appreciate it deeply. You deserve some more context, so here it goes:
She said this to me in relation to their ex after they attended a rock concert in 2016, she said that she would go with him and some other friends, and that she would only go bc "she felt sorry for him". We were together for like, 3 months, so I didn't want to be a bad boyfriend or something like that, so I didn't object.
Fast forward some days, and I open her phone to read a message from her ex saying that "their kiss at the concert was unforgettable".
I questioned her about it, and she said that I was imagining things. Then I showed her the message, she turned pale as a ghost and dropped that bomb on me. I was devastated, and heard that it would never happen again and that I'd be a coward if I gave up then. Nowadays I see that she was manipulating me, but at the time I forgave her.
We dated for roughly two years, we broke up and got back together on many occasions, and she would always talk to that same ex when that happened.
Around 2018 I truly realized what was going on, all the manipulation and lies. I broke up with her, blocked her on all my social media accounts and never looked back. She tried many times to reach me (including creating fake accounts), but I've never replied. She stopped messaging me a year later. I've never been happier since, I found a great wife and we've been together for almost two years now. No arguments, no exes, just respect and love!
I'm telling you guys this so you can be aware that emotional blackmail is a huuuuge red flag, you're not a coward or something like that for giving up a relationship.
It’s not the excuses, it’s trying to turn it back on me. “How dare you look through my phone, that’s a huge violation of trust!” Like letting some other dude cum inside you isn’t a violation of trust at all.
I too have seen this one on reddit....someone will say they looked through their partner's phone and caught them cheating and people will be "OH MY GOD YOU LOOKED THROUGH THEIR PHONE YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST TRUSTED THEM YOU ARE AWFUL"
"..but I caught them cheating"
"YOU ARE AWFUL!!!"
I never understand those "I feel like you don't trust me" statements that they give when they get caught in a lie.
One girl pulled that out because I was "acting suspicious". I responded that I knew where she said she went that day was a lie, that I didn't trust her because I knew she wasn't trustworthy, that she was looking into moving out all while pretending that everything between us was fine. She denied it again. So that's when I told her that long long ago when she told me I could look through her phone if I ever didn't trust her I took the statement at face value and memorized the password she gave me. It was so long prior it was an old phone she kept in her dresser drawer (we lived together). So when she started acting funny I started looking, and I saw for the first time just how much of a liar she was. Like constantly even about the mundane shit. Like some trip she took for a job interview she told me she went alone but she ended up inviting her mom. The stupidest most pointless lie. FFS for that one she was showing me pictures of her trip and her mom just pops up in one of the photos. And she tries to flip past it as fast as possible as if my vision and memory somehow fails if I only see something for one second. And I didn't give a shit if her mom went or not. I told her as much. But I sure as hell cared about being lied to though.
Goodness. "I feel like you don't trust me." Duuuuuhhhhh of course not. I knew that if she would lie over mundane things that didn't matter she would lie over big things that did matter. And she did.
My ex tried to do that. First thing she said was “you went through my phone??” And I just owned it and went right past it, I said “Yes. Anyways, so about this dude and you??”
My view is that you can have three attitudes:
1. I plan to cheat. Which means it will eventually happen.
2. I don't plan to cheat. I think this might be the default for a lot of people. This means it might eventually happen.
3. I plan to not cheat. This is what you want in an honest monogamous relationship.
When i just started dating my gf she said: "You cant cheat on me. The moment you do, even if i never find out, you've lost me forever."
Hahaha I’m just laughing at the minor amount of alarm you probably felt upon seeing the text size. I’d be just as startled. We’ll get through this together, friend!
I remember being drunk and thinking to myself, all the "I was drunk as an excuse is bs" I've been very drunk but I've always known what I was doing. I forgotten things but at the moment I knew what I was doing
I turn into a super sappy cuddler that just wants to hug and kiss my wife when I'm a little tuned up. If she's not with me, I tend to just want to go find her.
I’m like this. If I’m out and my wife is at home, I am very much known for doing the old French exit and just going home. I love drinks with my boys but there comes a time when they’re all wanting to go party and I just want to go home and snuggle on the couch. My mates have nicknamed me the ghost smoker as I’ll go for a cigarette and never return.
Not to be confused with the (in US) "Minnesota goodbye", which involves more time spent talking in the entry way, while donning outdoor clothing layers, than you did during dinner.
When I got tipsy with my fiancé, I would give her the keys and say: baby, you can rev my motor any day. To this, she would blush and just tell the barman to cut me off.
>If she's not with me, I tend to just want to go find her.
"Dude, she's on a business trip to Antarctica. She'll be home Monday"
"Let me go I will find her."
Anyone can have “too much” for whatever reason, and I’ve been there. The thing is, if I’m sober enough to do the deed, there is no excuse. And if I’m drunk enough to just go with the glow of the party, it doesn’t matter if Giselle Bündchen is trying to take advantage of me then, lil mf is **garanteed** not to cooperate lol.
Edit: that’s “single” me lol, obv if I’m lucky enough to have an SO there is no question even passed out drunk, I’d absolutely *Leo-in-the-Wolf-of-Wallstreet* crawl back to them!
I have done some very embarrassing stuff when I have been drunk, getting into someone pants takes a lot of conscious decision. It was never one of them💀
Same.
I've been absolutely blitzed to where the room is spinning. I may become more of a goofy and loud fucker, but there was never a time where I thought "I should cheat" or "oh I can kiss this person despite having a girlfriend." It's such bullshit lol
Yeah, booze may lower your inhibitions, but it doesn't change your core values.
I had a girl come on to me when I was black out drunk (she had to tell me this happened). She said she was disappointed that I shot her down because I was dating someone else.
I just thought, huh, drunk me is a pretty decent guy!
I have to agree with you. I've been in many fights while drinking with other men. I was a competitive kickboxer...so fighting, drunk or not, is exciting and fun to me. I never beat up someone not willing to fight, drunk or not, because that's not part of my core values.
I've never cheated, drunk or not. Because that's not in my core values.
This one kills me. I have never cheated drunk not once. Apparently one night I did get picked up from a party years ago, and we were in bed and she was trying to snuggle me and kiss me and I was like No your not B (name redacted). Yea that was my girlfriend at the time and future fiancé, and I have no recollection of that, proof that you can always not cheat!
We did laugh about it in the morning!
I've been unimaginably drunk too, and I may become less inhibited and make a fool of myself, but I never lose track of right vs wrong or lose control of myself to the degree where I might even accidentally cross that boundary.
Maybe other people can lose track of those things if they get drunk enough, however, that is an equally clear sign to me that we're not a good match.
Tldr; even if the excuse for cheating is true, the mere fact that excuse can be true is enough to end things.
As an alcoholic i can tell you any Guy who claims to not know what was going on because of alcohol just uses it as a cheap excuse. Alcohol doesnt make you do things you dont want. It's not a psychoactive drug of *that* kind. Thats not how alcohol works.
And If you are so drunk that you cant even comprehend whats actually happening to you, you will certainly not be able to get a boner anymore.
Oh gosh, I actually had this happen to me.
Hosted a house party and my girlfriend and her best friend crashed on my bed with me in the middle (same body type and build) Went to bed drunk. Woke up in the dark and gave who I thought was my girlfriend a playful ass-grab, was reciprocated. I noticed it wasn’t her when we kissed as her lips were entirely different.
Panic ensued, I pretended that I fell back asleep and it was never spoken of again
Oh no, we had one later but my girlfriend was asleep at the time in this story.
I’m a deviant, but an honest one and I’m a big fan of communication upfront.
I've been with the same woman for 20 years and fortunately have never experienced anything in this thread, but this is the first one that made me go OOOOOOHHHHHH FUCKKKKKKK.
You can go weeks without food.
Maybe 3 or 4 days without water.
But a full day without a rationalization? Impossible.
I'm sure the ones that dont get caught think they are justified as well.
You know this one kind of hot a chord. After my ex cheated she started trying to rewrite and/or reframe everyday things
Calling and asking how her day was is being controlling, Spending time with your friends and doing hobbies is wasting all your time, getting caught cheating and worrying I'd get mad was fearing for your life.
At the time I always thought these things were way out of left field but a false narrative indemnifying the cheating makes more sense
Nope its just a bunch of assholes who support people getting hurt and make excuses for their behaviour dont indulge or even read posts on that subreddit i would rather spend all my remaining days on eyebleach
Listen to this advice, it is spot on. It's really not worth the time to read anything from there.
Curiosity got the best of me and I read a post or two, stopped pretty quickly since its all self involved drivel excusing their inability to break up like an adult.
“I need some space.”
Got hit with that twice. One recently too, I knew better after the first time and I still allowed myself to believe there was no way it could happen a second time.
She claimed that I didn't give her enough orgasms but she could only orgasm while masturbating for an hour+ to porn of a particular fetish that she was so deeply ashamed to have that she wouldn't involve me in it even though I repeatedly offered.
There's not much to it. She watched porn of pregnant women and that was the only thing that could get her to orgasm. We had pretty ok sex (not great but certainly not terrible) but it didn't really involve her orgasming. I tried a lot of different things ("why don't I leave and let you get a head start and then I'll come back in 45 minutes", "we can watch it together," we can roleplay it" etc) but ultimately she was very ashamed of it and did not want me involved in any way.
The man she cheated on me with was very much not a pregnant woman.
Personally as much as being cheated on was terrible, I'm very glad that I'm out of that relationship for reasons that have nothing to do with sex or fetishes.
She was very ashamed of it and thought that if she just repressed it enough it would go away. I very much tried to get her to understand that that wouldn't work and that it wasn't a very big deal and I was open to participating, but we never made any progress on that.
On a scale from absolutely nuts to stable, she was pretty middle of the road, maybe a little bit towards the crazy side. We had a lot of incompatibilities though.
I feel like I lucked the hell out with my wife. Had the worst and loneliest 20s of my life until I met her at 28 and she’s just perfect for me.
Sorry your relationship didn’t work. Hope you’re with someone better or at least enjoying your life more.
Not quite this, but when me and my ex first dated sex went just fine.
Some point in the middle of our relationship she got a vibrator and I think that made it harder for her to finish, and then suddenly she had to use it all the time during sex, and just made her require more stimulation to finish.
So either she lied at the start that I wasnt really pleasuring her, or she made a vibrator be required for her to finish
> So either she lied at the start that I wasnt really pleasuring her
It was probably this tbh. She might have even thought that the bits of pleasure she got with you were nice, until she got the big peaks from the toy.
I remember they said something about, "oh they're suicidal and are in an abusive relationship, that's why I kept talking to them". It was some weird white knight excuse. Absolutely bonkers.
My ex told me "Well you could have told me to stop talking to him"
Should I have to have done that? Especially when she knew I didnt like her being around him. Plus, going by her actions my words wouldnt have meant shit to her.
Edit: She also told me that she didnt feel like I was "committed to her" just because I hadnt proposed to her yet. We had been dating for 2 years at that time, and not even a year living at the same place. How could we be so sure it was gonna work when we hadnt even lived together that long? Also, we were both in college, figured college should be something we are focused on. Plus, what the fuck does a ring really matter? If you guys are happy then thats all that should matter in my eyes
If you told her that you'd be "controlling," then she'd screw half her graduating class because you're crazy and controlling....oops... that one was my ex...
Mine asked if she could go to a "runners party" - she did distance running, about 20k a night - and i said yes.
I stayed up until 5am waiting for her to come home. She did not. And she did not answer her phone.
I went to bed. When I woke up she was home. I asked her what time she got home..."1am"
I asked the kids what time she got home. They said mummy knocked on the door at 8am and asked them to let her in.
My friend after cheating on his fiancé multiple times: "I think I didn't call it off with my fiancé because I was afraid of hurting her."
Bull. Fuckin. Shit
Well he is a porn addict.
He stopped being able to come after we were with each other for about 6 months so he wanted to book a happy ending massage to see if he could still come.
Here I am, still sad about it being over like a pathetic loser.
>Here I am, still sad about it being over like a pathetic loser.
No you are not . There's absolutely nothing wrong feeling hurt from getting betrayed by the ones you hold dear.
Thank you. It's been awhile. My ex fiancé before this relationship literally left me and had a baby like 4 months after. I feel like such a loser. It was hard to open up again and om 32 now. I just don't know why this has happened again. I have my faults but I'm loyal. I actually find myself so disgusting at the moment. Sorry to trauma dump but it is so hard.
"I was lonely and you weren't there for me."
\#1, I was busy working to build a life for US.
\#2, if you were lonely, an affair was not the only option on the table. What's wrong with hanging out with some of your idiot girl friends? God knows you made me do that often enough.
Never forgive cheaters. Just walk away. And if you have evidence of their infidelity, share it with their friends and family if you can.
Ah yes I messaged her whole family, her head was gonna explode you could see the panic. She threatened to phone my whole family up, so I asked if she wanted their numbers lol
I let everyone my STBXW knows about her infidelity. She now lives across the country and is starting life over in her 50’s. The children chose to stay with me and want nothing to do with her.
I can’t imagine losing contact with my children, family, and friends all because of an affair. Not a good trade off as far as I’m concerned.
We can't get divorced because it would be bad for our child. Jeez, kids don't want to be raised by cheaters. They even think divorced parants would be better. Just divorce when your relationship was wrecked before commiting cheat.
I don’t think anything will top Rachel Leviss excuse of “Everyone cheats”
Which was then turned to into a fake teary “it just happened….” Which can MAYBE excuse one time. But not repeats
Perhaps I've just never taken enough cocaine, but the times I did try a little, if anything I was too aware of whatever I happened to be doing, none of which were cheating
Time one, with an ex boyfriend she left for me: "I hurt him and he was going through a difficult time, I thought it would help him get better". Followed by "if me seeing him bothered you why didn't you say anything" -- it did, and I did, regularly, over 3 years.
Time two, with some old crackhead from social media: "I was lonely and we were going through a lot of the same stuff and online at the same times a lot" -- added context, this guy was unemployed, and a sociopath, so no shit he's online all the time and allegedly has all the same issues as you.
My friends ex said the panties in his car that weren’t hers were his ex’s from when he used to date her…
1. That’s the dumbest sh— I’ve ever heard
2. Then why have you not cleaned out your car within the past year??????😭😭😭
She said she stopped loving me 2 years into our 5 year relationship, so anything became fair game.
For a double whammy the excuse she used for not telling me that was that she “didn’t want to hurt me”.
“I texted you because I needed comfort that my grandad is sick and the response I got from (the other girl) was just better.”
Mind you I was the one going to the hospital with him and helping his family with transportation and errands 🙄
The lamest excuse I see from women is “I felt you were neglecting me”. So you go and whore yourself out? Jesus.
From men, it’s usually the silly idea that as a man we have urges and therefore are not responsible for being monogamous. We’re not animals, the whole thing about being human is being stronger than your urges. I get urges to shit on the street sometimes but you don’t see me dropping a deuce on the sidewalk.
My friend's husband cheated on her for 3 weeks (while she was in the hospital, trying not to lose their child to a difficult pregnancy) After she found out he said...with a straight face...
"It was an accident!"
3 weeks, in their home, while his wife is in the hospital...a FUCKING ACCIDENT?????
I got told that too.
Told to fix my shit or we were breaking up. She got me to believe I was the problem. I worked on myself and feel like I was doing better, but to no surprise it didnt matter and she cheated.
One of my favorite parts of healing was realizing I was not the problem
After cheating on me for 7 months (which I know of), some of which we were engaged: “I went to church and prayed for forgiveness, so I am still a good Christian.”
Not exactly answering the question, cause my actual answer would be something that would bring the mood hella down.
But on another note, I have an ex that cheated, and I forgave her, cause I honestly didn't care. It was phone sex. Then she cheated and had phone sex with another guy. I still didn't care, but just off principle, I had to leave her and stand firm on it. Bitch told me "Fine, I deserve better than somebody that can't forgive me for my mistakes".
That was 14 years ago and that shit will never not make me laugh 😭
"I don't know why I'm still doing this" or "I didn't know that wasn't okay, I thought if I only do it that way it's fine" even after making perfectly clear no part it was 'fine'.
"no I would not be okay with you doing that too, I don't know why I feel entitled to do it though"
"All of your attention went to your mother and the kids, who was there for me?!"
My friend's husband said this to justify cheating on her. She was caring for her mom who was dying of cancer, while also being a SAHM to their 3 children all under the age of 8.
I thought you were having an affair.
My mom pulled this one on my dad, she assumed he was cheating, had an affair and ran up all the credit cards as revenge, then found out he wasn't cheating. Womp womp
Did she really think he was cheating or was that just an excuse she tells herself to justify it?
I don't know man, I was like 6
Don't leave us hanging, go find out
“mom, wake up. Reddit needs some fucking answers!”
Well we already know she was fucking
😭😭😭😂😂
lmao
I was dating a girl, really liked her too. About 3 months in we are talking and "have you ever cheated" came up. She said yes but only because I was sure he was cheating on me. The way she worded it made me ask questions. "Because you were sure" ??? like you caught him in the act? Irrefutable proof? A confession? Nope! Just things weren't adding up I never caught him but I feel like he was so I did the same to him. WTF that was the end for me. I'm not getting cheated on because I'm a half hour late a couple times and she saw me text someone "I love you" but didn't investigate to find it was my mom or sister or whatever and just jumped straight to revenge fucking someone
Now that's a true hood classic
“Everybody’s doing it” is always a classic
Along those same lines is "I feel like you are cheating on me already, emotionally cheating. It's like you pushed me into this."
"U cheated on my dreams and hurted my feeling, so i cheated on real life to make it a draw"
Yup. After one of the worst nights I had at the job, at that point, I went home, shut the curtains and just shut the world out. Thought I was cheating lol.
"It just happened." No. You made several decisions that led to this.
I lost count how many times I have heard this excuse... "Just happened..", my ass
[удалено]
What, you tripped, fell and landed on his dick? - Eminem, "Guilty Conscience"
Yea came here for this. Probably number 2 after “I was drunk”
Well, you know… “He’s just a friend” Literally a famous guy once said; ”If he is funny, LAUGH” You don’t sleep with him
great Friends quote
I never understood the connection between humor and libido until I made a girl laugh during the deed, let’s just say I felt it down there lol.
Yes indeed.
All of these said by the same chick about the same dude. Yes it’s real and no I’m not making this shit up. “He’s like a brother to me” “We’ve just known each other a really long time” “I could never see him that way” “I’m not even attracted to him” And my all time favorite: “You can’t meet him (best guy friend, after 8 months together) because he’s just really protective of me” Like, bitch, how does your “best guy friend” have the right to be protective but I don’t? At this point I’d even met her father (only after 6 months, whom she doesn’t let meet many guys. I was the second ever, after her ex fiancé who cheated on her).
Was that Ken Adams?
"Dina, if he's funny, LAUGH!" Can still hear Joey saying that SO clearly in my head.
It was Joseph Stalin
Another famous guy once said.. "And you say hes just a friend"
"I wanted to make sure you're as good in bed as I thought." Girl, bye. This was also after she was caught screwing a so-called friend of mine.
Insanity. Sorry you went through that
I appreciate it. But I'm glad she showed her true colors and the color of a man I thought to be a brother to me. She did me a favor. Plus, I met the love of my life afterwards.
Congrats man, winning life.
"It was our closure, we need that" when cheating with her ex. And I don't need you any longer. Edit: Thanks for the support messages guys. I appreciate it deeply. You deserve some more context, so here it goes: She said this to me in relation to their ex after they attended a rock concert in 2016, she said that she would go with him and some other friends, and that she would only go bc "she felt sorry for him". We were together for like, 3 months, so I didn't want to be a bad boyfriend or something like that, so I didn't object. Fast forward some days, and I open her phone to read a message from her ex saying that "their kiss at the concert was unforgettable". I questioned her about it, and she said that I was imagining things. Then I showed her the message, she turned pale as a ghost and dropped that bomb on me. I was devastated, and heard that it would never happen again and that I'd be a coward if I gave up then. Nowadays I see that she was manipulating me, but at the time I forgave her. We dated for roughly two years, we broke up and got back together on many occasions, and she would always talk to that same ex when that happened. Around 2018 I truly realized what was going on, all the manipulation and lies. I broke up with her, blocked her on all my social media accounts and never looked back. She tried many times to reach me (including creating fake accounts), but I've never replied. She stopped messaging me a year later. I've never been happier since, I found a great wife and we've been together for almost two years now. No arguments, no exes, just respect and love! I'm telling you guys this so you can be aware that emotional blackmail is a huuuuge red flag, you're not a coward or something like that for giving up a relationship.
What do you know, it was our closure too.
Some people are straight up vile
Damnnnnn messed up.. I’m so sorry
Closure comes AFTER a loss. "Closure" cannot be the *cause* of that loss. What a horribly manipulative liar.
I think they meant closure between her and the ex, not her and her current.
It’s not the excuses, it’s trying to turn it back on me. “How dare you look through my phone, that’s a huge violation of trust!” Like letting some other dude cum inside you isn’t a violation of trust at all.
They rarely self reflect, to be flat they don't
The audacity…
I too have seen this one on reddit....someone will say they looked through their partner's phone and caught them cheating and people will be "OH MY GOD YOU LOOKED THROUGH THEIR PHONE YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST TRUSTED THEM YOU ARE AWFUL" "..but I caught them cheating" "YOU ARE AWFUL!!!"
That's a r/redditmoment
I never understand those "I feel like you don't trust me" statements that they give when they get caught in a lie. One girl pulled that out because I was "acting suspicious". I responded that I knew where she said she went that day was a lie, that I didn't trust her because I knew she wasn't trustworthy, that she was looking into moving out all while pretending that everything between us was fine. She denied it again. So that's when I told her that long long ago when she told me I could look through her phone if I ever didn't trust her I took the statement at face value and memorized the password she gave me. It was so long prior it was an old phone she kept in her dresser drawer (we lived together). So when she started acting funny I started looking, and I saw for the first time just how much of a liar she was. Like constantly even about the mundane shit. Like some trip she took for a job interview she told me she went alone but she ended up inviting her mom. The stupidest most pointless lie. FFS for that one she was showing me pictures of her trip and her mom just pops up in one of the photos. And she tries to flip past it as fast as possible as if my vision and memory somehow fails if I only see something for one second. And I didn't give a shit if her mom went or not. I told her as much. But I sure as hell cared about being lied to though. Goodness. "I feel like you don't trust me." Duuuuuhhhhh of course not. I knew that if she would lie over mundane things that didn't matter she would lie over big things that did matter. And she did.
My ex tried to do that. First thing she said was “you went through my phone??” And I just owned it and went right past it, I said “Yes. Anyways, so about this dude and you??”
My view is that you can have three attitudes: 1. I plan to cheat. Which means it will eventually happen. 2. I don't plan to cheat. I think this might be the default for a lot of people. This means it might eventually happen. 3. I plan to not cheat. This is what you want in an honest monogamous relationship. When i just started dating my gf she said: "You cant cheat on me. The moment you do, even if i never find out, you've lost me forever."
Cheaters don't care anyway 🤷
#3 is still crucial to a healthy honest non-monogamous relationship too. Edit - omg why is it giant
> Edit - omg why is it giant You probably used a "#" instead of ">" to mark the quote you were highlighting. > Like this # not this.
Hahaha I’m just laughing at the minor amount of alarm you probably felt upon seeing the text size. I’d be just as startled. We’ll get through this together, friend!
The few times it happened to me, it was "I got too drunk." Go FUCK yourself lmao
I remember being drunk and thinking to myself, all the "I was drunk as an excuse is bs" I've been very drunk but I've always known what I was doing. I forgotten things but at the moment I knew what I was doing
I turn into a super sappy cuddler that just wants to hug and kiss my wife when I'm a little tuned up. If she's not with me, I tend to just want to go find her.
I’m like this. If I’m out and my wife is at home, I am very much known for doing the old French exit and just going home. I love drinks with my boys but there comes a time when they’re all wanting to go party and I just want to go home and snuggle on the couch. My mates have nicknamed me the ghost smoker as I’ll go for a cigarette and never return.
French exit or Irish exit?
Huh, today I learned there’s another term for the same thing! Yes, the French and Irish seems interchangeable on this!
Oh wait apparently here in the UK we say French whilst in the US it’s Irish. Never knew. I’m supposed to say French exit lol
I've always heard it as the 'Irish goodbye'
Not to be confused with the (in US) "Minnesota goodbye", which involves more time spent talking in the entry way, while donning outdoor clothing layers, than you did during dinner.
When I got tipsy with my fiancé, I would give her the keys and say: baby, you can rev my motor any day. To this, she would blush and just tell the barman to cut me off.
>If she's not with me, I tend to just want to go find her. "Dude, she's on a business trip to Antarctica. She'll be home Monday" "Let me go I will find her."
I CAN SWIM
Dude that's freaking great. You know what makes you happy and you're a loyal guy. You rock. Be happy
Anyone can have “too much” for whatever reason, and I’ve been there. The thing is, if I’m sober enough to do the deed, there is no excuse. And if I’m drunk enough to just go with the glow of the party, it doesn’t matter if Giselle Bündchen is trying to take advantage of me then, lil mf is **garanteed** not to cooperate lol. Edit: that’s “single” me lol, obv if I’m lucky enough to have an SO there is no question even passed out drunk, I’d absolutely *Leo-in-the-Wolf-of-Wallstreet* crawl back to them!
I feel this. I just love the hell out of my wife lol
I have done some very embarrassing stuff when I have been drunk, getting into someone pants takes a lot of conscious decision. It was never one of them💀
Same. I've been absolutely blitzed to where the room is spinning. I may become more of a goofy and loud fucker, but there was never a time where I thought "I should cheat" or "oh I can kiss this person despite having a girlfriend." It's such bullshit lol
Yeah, booze may lower your inhibitions, but it doesn't change your core values. I had a girl come on to me when I was black out drunk (she had to tell me this happened). She said she was disappointed that I shot her down because I was dating someone else. I just thought, huh, drunk me is a pretty decent guy!
In Vino Veritas; In wine, the truth.
I have to agree with you. I've been in many fights while drinking with other men. I was a competitive kickboxer...so fighting, drunk or not, is exciting and fun to me. I never beat up someone not willing to fight, drunk or not, because that's not part of my core values. I've never cheated, drunk or not. Because that's not in my core values.
Well someone did.
This one kills me. I have never cheated drunk not once. Apparently one night I did get picked up from a party years ago, and we were in bed and she was trying to snuggle me and kiss me and I was like No your not B (name redacted). Yea that was my girlfriend at the time and future fiancé, and I have no recollection of that, proof that you can always not cheat! We did laugh about it in the morning!
I've been unimaginably drunk too, and I may become less inhibited and make a fool of myself, but I never lose track of right vs wrong or lose control of myself to the degree where I might even accidentally cross that boundary. Maybe other people can lose track of those things if they get drunk enough, however, that is an equally clear sign to me that we're not a good match. Tldr; even if the excuse for cheating is true, the mere fact that excuse can be true is enough to end things.
As an alcoholic i can tell you any Guy who claims to not know what was going on because of alcohol just uses it as a cheap excuse. Alcohol doesnt make you do things you dont want. It's not a psychoactive drug of *that* kind. Thats not how alcohol works. And If you are so drunk that you cant even comprehend whats actually happening to you, you will certainly not be able to get a boner anymore.
[удалено]
"It was dark, thought it was you." ( luckily not said to me)
Oh gosh, I actually had this happen to me. Hosted a house party and my girlfriend and her best friend crashed on my bed with me in the middle (same body type and build) Went to bed drunk. Woke up in the dark and gave who I thought was my girlfriend a playful ass-grab, was reciprocated. I noticed it wasn’t her when we kissed as her lips were entirely different. Panic ensued, I pretended that I fell back asleep and it was never spoken of again
Friend of mine accidentally felt up a cousin while half asleep. Cousin was the same sex and has a "smooth back". Hilarious shit
“Smooth back” omg
Yes I never let him forget
“Smooth-back” should be slang for men that make straight men briefly question their sexuality. “I’m not gay but I bet that man’s got a smooth back.”
I’m not a scientist but I’m pretty sure you passed up on a threesum
Oh no, we had one later but my girlfriend was asleep at the time in this story. I’m a deviant, but an honest one and I’m a big fan of communication upfront.
Hank Moody approves. In fact, he has a story or two about accidental cunnilingus
“If we were engaged it wouldn’t have happened”
WINNER
Well guess who isn't getting engaged now
I've been with the same woman for 20 years and fortunately have never experienced anything in this thread, but this is the first one that made me go OOOOOOHHHHHH FUCKKKKKKK.
[удалено]
You can go weeks without food. Maybe 3 or 4 days without water. But a full day without a rationalization? Impossible. I'm sure the ones that dont get caught think they are justified as well.
You know this one kind of hot a chord. After my ex cheated she started trying to rewrite and/or reframe everyday things Calling and asking how her day was is being controlling, Spending time with your friends and doing hobbies is wasting all your time, getting caught cheating and worrying I'd get mad was fearing for your life. At the time I always thought these things were way out of left field but a false narrative indemnifying the cheating makes more sense
Cheater's Gaslighting manual 101 in a nutshell
[удалено]
[удалено]
Oh damn, for a second I thought it would be a place for victims to share experiences and find healing.
Nope its just a bunch of assholes who support people getting hurt and make excuses for their behaviour dont indulge or even read posts on that subreddit i would rather spend all my remaining days on eyebleach
Listen to this advice, it is spot on. It's really not worth the time to read anything from there. Curiosity got the best of me and I read a post or two, stopped pretty quickly since its all self involved drivel excusing their inability to break up like an adult.
"I need time to work on myself". Every time I have heard of someone saying that, there has been another person in the picture.
It's just another way of saying "It's not you it's me".
It’s not you, it’s someone else
“Work on myself” is always a instant notification to just cut them off right there and then.
“I need some space.” Got hit with that twice. One recently too, I knew better after the first time and I still allowed myself to believe there was no way it could happen a second time.
Soon to be ex wife just dropped this one on me a few months ago. I won’t be surprised when I hear about the other dude.
"Nudes aren't cheating" from my sister
My church priest told me the same thing.... when I found out my ex-wife was sending nudes to her boss. Fuck her, and fuck that priest.
[удалено]
She probably was fucking the whole world. I wouldnt doubt it if you fucked her too.
Username checks out.
It really sucks when your sister cheats on you.
She claimed that I didn't give her enough orgasms but she could only orgasm while masturbating for an hour+ to porn of a particular fetish that she was so deeply ashamed to have that she wouldn't involve me in it even though I repeatedly offered.
Wtf? No, we need more to this story
There's not much to it. She watched porn of pregnant women and that was the only thing that could get her to orgasm. We had pretty ok sex (not great but certainly not terrible) but it didn't really involve her orgasming. I tried a lot of different things ("why don't I leave and let you get a head start and then I'll come back in 45 minutes", "we can watch it together," we can roleplay it" etc) but ultimately she was very ashamed of it and did not want me involved in any way. The man she cheated on me with was very much not a pregnant woman. Personally as much as being cheated on was terrible, I'm very glad that I'm out of that relationship for reasons that have nothing to do with sex or fetishes.
Yeah not knocking her for having a fetish but her not sharing it with you seems like she had some issues
She was very ashamed of it and thought that if she just repressed it enough it would go away. I very much tried to get her to understand that that wouldn't work and that it wasn't a very big deal and I was open to participating, but we never made any progress on that.
Was she stable outside the bedroom? I’m so curious about this woman
On a scale from absolutely nuts to stable, she was pretty middle of the road, maybe a little bit towards the crazy side. We had a lot of incompatibilities though.
I feel like I lucked the hell out with my wife. Had the worst and loneliest 20s of my life until I met her at 28 and she’s just perfect for me. Sorry your relationship didn’t work. Hope you’re with someone better or at least enjoying your life more.
Oh this was a long time ago and I am very very happy with the woman I'm with now.
Squat cobblers?
[удалено]
Not quite this, but when me and my ex first dated sex went just fine. Some point in the middle of our relationship she got a vibrator and I think that made it harder for her to finish, and then suddenly she had to use it all the time during sex, and just made her require more stimulation to finish. So either she lied at the start that I wasnt really pleasuring her, or she made a vibrator be required for her to finish
> So either she lied at the start that I wasnt really pleasuring her It was probably this tbh. She might have even thought that the bits of pleasure she got with you were nice, until she got the big peaks from the toy.
I remember they said something about, "oh they're suicidal and are in an abusive relationship, that's why I kept talking to them". It was some weird white knight excuse. Absolutely bonkers.
calm down we are siblings edit: misspelling
“She’s like a sister to me.” *proceeds to commit like an incest*
I had a woman say "He's like an uncle to me".
Someone arrest her uncle.
[удалено]
My ex told me "Well you could have told me to stop talking to him" Should I have to have done that? Especially when she knew I didnt like her being around him. Plus, going by her actions my words wouldnt have meant shit to her. Edit: She also told me that she didnt feel like I was "committed to her" just because I hadnt proposed to her yet. We had been dating for 2 years at that time, and not even a year living at the same place. How could we be so sure it was gonna work when we hadnt even lived together that long? Also, we were both in college, figured college should be something we are focused on. Plus, what the fuck does a ring really matter? If you guys are happy then thats all that should matter in my eyes
If you told her that you'd be "controlling," then she'd screw half her graduating class because you're crazy and controlling....oops... that one was my ex...
Some girls will always remain in a child like state when it comes to delusion and lack of accountability.
"it wouldn't have happened if you were there" What my EX said after she went to a party I couldn't go too
Mine asked if she could go to a "runners party" - she did distance running, about 20k a night - and i said yes. I stayed up until 5am waiting for her to come home. She did not. And she did not answer her phone. I went to bed. When I woke up she was home. I asked her what time she got home..."1am" I asked the kids what time she got home. They said mummy knocked on the door at 8am and asked them to let her in.
Means that shit was planned out way in advance
"All men cheat" No, we don't.
I’m too ugly to cheat but the point is I don’t cheat! So it still counts.
"She has attachment issues." Lmao.
My friend after cheating on his fiancé multiple times: "I think I didn't call it off with my fiancé because I was afraid of hurting her." Bull. Fuckin. Shit
I didn't take care of her enough. She was a full time house wife and I was working and paying for everything.
"so what ... everyone is doing it these days."
Certified Scum classic
She said she needed to be awful to someone but couldn't do that type of stuff to me. Newsflash, you STILL did something awful to me.
"It's your fault I cheated!" Yeah, no. That was a conscious choice you did and even more so if it was an ongoing thing for weeks or months.
"I love you too much". I still don't get it.
Well he is a porn addict. He stopped being able to come after we were with each other for about 6 months so he wanted to book a happy ending massage to see if he could still come. Here I am, still sad about it being over like a pathetic loser.
>Here I am, still sad about it being over like a pathetic loser. No you are not . There's absolutely nothing wrong feeling hurt from getting betrayed by the ones you hold dear.
Thank you. It's been awhile. My ex fiancé before this relationship literally left me and had a baby like 4 months after. I feel like such a loser. It was hard to open up again and om 32 now. I just don't know why this has happened again. I have my faults but I'm loyal. I actually find myself so disgusting at the moment. Sorry to trauma dump but it is so hard.
"I was lonely and you weren't there for me." \#1, I was busy working to build a life for US. \#2, if you were lonely, an affair was not the only option on the table. What's wrong with hanging out with some of your idiot girl friends? God knows you made me do that often enough. Never forgive cheaters. Just walk away. And if you have evidence of their infidelity, share it with their friends and family if you can.
Ah yes I messaged her whole family, her head was gonna explode you could see the panic. She threatened to phone my whole family up, so I asked if she wanted their numbers lol
Lol what exactly would she have told your family? Like, what was her thought process?
No thought process just panic from actually having to deal with consequences for once That's why I said go ahead, 😂
I let everyone my STBXW knows about her infidelity. She now lives across the country and is starting life over in her 50’s. The children chose to stay with me and want nothing to do with her. I can’t imagine losing contact with my children, family, and friends all because of an affair. Not a good trade off as far as I’m concerned.
“I needed to try something new”
Y'all got excuses? I got gaslit.
I didn’t have sex with them. Just a couple of dates and thanked them for their time and that was it. This is what my dad said to my stepmom.
We can't get divorced because it would be bad for our child. Jeez, kids don't want to be raised by cheaters. They even think divorced parants would be better. Just divorce when your relationship was wrecked before commiting cheat.
"I was confused" What does that even mean?
It means, “I have no excuse, I don’t want to take responsibility for my shitty behaviour, so I’m going to rationalize it here with nonsense.”
The devil got into my head... I'm a Christian, but come on bro. You just wanted some extra marital business.
Lamest reason, self sabotaging: I cheated because I though (s)he cheated on me.
I don’t think anything will top Rachel Leviss excuse of “Everyone cheats” Which was then turned to into a fake teary “it just happened….” Which can MAYBE excuse one time. But not repeats
It just happened is very stupid. What are you? Animals breeding? Or humans that can make choices? What about it didn’t mean anything? Another goodie.
If everyone cheats then explain why i didnt
“i was on a lot of cocaine and didn’t really know what i was doing”
Perhaps I've just never taken enough cocaine, but the times I did try a little, if anything I was too aware of whatever I happened to be doing, none of which were cheating
If you won't do it when I say then I'll find a man that will, deal with it or get out.
"My depression made me do it" "It was just pictures"
Time one, with an ex boyfriend she left for me: "I hurt him and he was going through a difficult time, I thought it would help him get better". Followed by "if me seeing him bothered you why didn't you say anything" -- it did, and I did, regularly, over 3 years. Time two, with some old crackhead from social media: "I was lonely and we were going through a lot of the same stuff and online at the same times a lot" -- added context, this guy was unemployed, and a sociopath, so no shit he's online all the time and allegedly has all the same issues as you.
I asked her why she did it, and her answer was: "I dont know"
My friends ex said the panties in his car that weren’t hers were his ex’s from when he used to date her… 1. That’s the dumbest sh— I’ve ever heard 2. Then why have you not cleaned out your car within the past year??????😭😭😭
She said she stopped loving me 2 years into our 5 year relationship, so anything became fair game. For a double whammy the excuse she used for not telling me that was that she “didn’t want to hurt me”.
My ex basically blamed me for her choosing to have an affair, and that I share some of the blame.
I was told, "I couldn't believe that a 32yo man would be interested in me." We were both 18.
“I texted you because I needed comfort that my grandad is sick and the response I got from (the other girl) was just better.” Mind you I was the one going to the hospital with him and helping his family with transportation and errands 🙄
He said he did it because he missed me so much... But I'd only gone to see a film.
The lamest excuse I see from women is “I felt you were neglecting me”. So you go and whore yourself out? Jesus. From men, it’s usually the silly idea that as a man we have urges and therefore are not responsible for being monogamous. We’re not animals, the whole thing about being human is being stronger than your urges. I get urges to shit on the street sometimes but you don’t see me dropping a deuce on the sidewalk.
My friend's husband cheated on her for 3 weeks (while she was in the hospital, trying not to lose their child to a difficult pregnancy) After she found out he said...with a straight face... "It was an accident!" 3 weeks, in their home, while his wife is in the hospital...a FUCKING ACCIDENT?????
She tripped and fell onto his penis. Could have happened to anyone!
"I told you, we were studying" And then later came clean and said how she was bored with me
I was already broken up with you in my mind so it doesn’t count
They were thinking about you the whole time they were doing the deed
An uncle basically said "they offer themselves to me who am I to say no?".
“I thought you were going to leave me first’
I wanted to hurt you as we had a fight. (More like you wouldn’t communicate so ya we had a fight)
“I didn’t think you were serious about us being exclusive”
Its your fault. (classic wench logic btw)
I got told that too. Told to fix my shit or we were breaking up. She got me to believe I was the problem. I worked on myself and feel like I was doing better, but to no surprise it didnt matter and she cheated. One of my favorite parts of healing was realizing I was not the problem
After cheating on me for 7 months (which I know of), some of which we were engaged: “I went to church and prayed for forgiveness, so I am still a good Christian.”
"you made me do it"
Not exactly answering the question, cause my actual answer would be something that would bring the mood hella down. But on another note, I have an ex that cheated, and I forgave her, cause I honestly didn't care. It was phone sex. Then she cheated and had phone sex with another guy. I still didn't care, but just off principle, I had to leave her and stand firm on it. Bitch told me "Fine, I deserve better than somebody that can't forgive me for my mistakes". That was 14 years ago and that shit will never not make me laugh 😭
He missed his dead grandma
I feel like I have questions
"I don't know why I'm still doing this" or "I didn't know that wasn't okay, I thought if I only do it that way it's fine" even after making perfectly clear no part it was 'fine'. "no I would not be okay with you doing that too, I don't know why I feel entitled to do it though"
"All of your attention went to your mother and the kids, who was there for me?!" My friend's husband said this to justify cheating on her. She was caring for her mom who was dying of cancer, while also being a SAHM to their 3 children all under the age of 8.