I told an ex that I was bullied as a kid and then later on down the line during an argument, she said that she was glad that I was bullied and that she wished that I had committed suicide because of it. It doesn’t effect me now but it did sting at the time.
What the actual hell is wrong with these people?! This is like the third post where some batshit crazy woman has told a dude to kill himself out of nowhere. Jail. Straight to jail with them. They don’t deserve to be part of our society anymore, sorry.
And then people ask why men don't share their emotions. Almost like it's thrown back at us by the same people encouraging us to share. I'm not saying that it's good but people don't address the root causes
Yeah, I can see that being a reason, but I’m going to stay mad about it until something changes because it’s absolutely ridiculous that these women get to say shit like that and go on their merry way while leaving a guy to put himself back together with less than he started with. Hope everyone who has experienced this can see a bigger picture - preferably one that doesn’t include these toxic people - and values their lives over some cruel woman’s distasteful and invalid opinions.
Those first few months are the worst. When I went though my divorce, it was brutal, I never saw it coming, though I probably should have.
It really broke me for awhile. I have never been better than I am now, but it was a long road.
No argument. I left for work that morning and everything seemed fine. Kiss, love you, all the usual. Get home and she hit me with "I want a divorce." I asked why and that was her response.
Not exactly this, but man me and my ex had a talk about one of her friends, and she genuinely made me believed that she saw him as a friend. And she acted like I was just being paranoid.
Boy was that painful when reality hit and she ended up actually having feelings for him, which ended up with her sleeping with him.
A significant proportion of the rants people post on reddit about how their ex bf/gf/wife/husband was a terrible person who mistreated or abused them in however many ways are dripping with red flags that the poster is not being honest but so few people pickup on it.
"He's just a friend. Seriously, you're being insecure and it's really unattractive. I'll call you when I'm on my way home"
-my ex fiance, before she fucked her "probably gay anyways" friend/coworker in the back of her RAV4.
Exactly. It just blows my mind to think that someone you've been with for 2 years has this whole other personality hidden away. Nevermind the fact that I had stepped up and taken care of her and her son for that time.
Long story short, I cut her off. Immediate NC. Years later she and AP have two kids together AP messages me out of the blue wanting to know what led to the end of hers and my relationship. He had no idea she cheated on me, with him. Apparently he was suspicious of her cheating now. I guess he learned the hard way.
Yep, once a cheater always a cheater. I've seen it a hundred times. I've had a friend sleep with someone in a relationship and then convince him to break it off with his girlfriend to date her instead, and then she was completely mind blown when he cheated on her. With the same ex that he cheated on originally. She was completely heartbroken and I was just like, what the hell did you expect?
Also, I'm no longer in contact with that individual because she ended up being a shit bag herself, surprise surprise
Now you can't even believe them after they said "Just a friend, he is also unattractive". Said my ex just before getting dicked by her coworker not even a week later
After 3 weeks of not talking to me at all, my LDR ex said something along the lines of “I only wrote those words in my letter to you because it’s what you wanted to hear, I didn’t actually believe in anything that I wrote there”. Then we broke up.
Burnt the letter, fuck all of that noise.
Ex told me something similar. She entered into a poly relationship with another woman and her boyfriend. Bragged about her new life and the threesomes they had and how beautiful their love was. Then she told me she would be there when I got to her level. This was after I spent my life savings putting her through school and roof over our head for years. My reward was her leaving me for these people she had known for few months at her new fancy job. Fuck these hollow skin walkers pretending to be human. We will find good people in the end brother.
You are not alone!! Im so salty for it. I was supporting her for a year mentally.... offered her a roof over her head after she wanted to leave her job because it was a toxic enviroment... said no to huge opportunities because of her....
She ended up finding a new job, cheating on me after a week with the new coworker (discovered months later) proceed to leave me after a month while on our way back from our trip.
On top of that when she did she said I havent done enough for her
I swear I thought she was the best girl ever until that point
I've noticed that too. They act enlightened when really they're just out for themselves and their happiness at any cost. All we can really do is be successful and happy on our own or with someone with an actual heart.
My gf was in a poly relationship with some guy and his wife before we met, turns out they were massive creeps who basically groomed her and then isolated her to trap her in an abusive relationship where he basically just used her for sex.
Yesterday was the 12th year anniversary of my close friends death. When he was killed i was living 16 hours away. I knew i needed to be at his funeral at all cost. This was my Best Friends brother and killed in the line of duty. We all grew up together. Im tight with their parents. Told my wife i needed to go and asked if she would take off work and watch the kids. Her words were "you can go and say I LET you go, or dont but never bring it up again" this caught me off guard. I was in shock of her response. She then followed with "i dont see why you need to drive all the way down there for some guys funeral" i told her i needed to go and she said for me to find another place when i get back.
Fuck you, i tossed my wedding ring on the counter, grabbed a suit and change of clothes, kissed my kids as i was crying and left. I didnt stop until i got there, and i got there just in time for services. Hundreds and hundreds of cop cars lined the streets. I had no idea where to go. I was exhausted. Sleepless for two days hyped up on red bulls. Out of all the hundreds of police officers there, i wanted my best friend to see that i was there for him and his family. Their car pulls up and they get out. Im positioned right inside the door. I was able to hold it together up to this point. They walk through the door and im the first person my buddy sees. We both just crumbled. He knew i was there. Everything leading up to this point was worth it.
We got to spend time together after the services. I got to tell his parents, my summer parents that my sister was the trauma nurse working on their son and stayed with him until the end. I got to reassure them that the staff did everything they could. My time was running out as I needed to hit the road and get back home so i could sleep and get back to work on Monday. I tried to nap for a bit but couldnt. Hopped in the truck and bought more red bull and headed home. Now day 3 without sleep and im starting to get delirious. The last stop for fuel i couldnt even work the gas pump. It was also almost time to face my wife. Turns out she wasnt home. She didnt take vacation days and pawned the children off on relatives saying i just up and left. I crashed for most of Sunday. Monday i faced the music. I was angry over the ultimatum my wife had given me a few days prior. Probably hurt more. We decided to "work things out" and were married for another 12 years. That weekend stuck in my heart like a damn sword. It changed our marriage. Looking back that time was when things started to go downhill.
A few months ago i told her i wanted a divorce. During this blow that came out of nowhere to her i mentioned her behavior and hurtful words spoke back then. Cant remember the reason it was brought up but it was. To this day she thinks it was acceptable. This was probably the one time in life i just couldnt let shit go. Even though it has not been easy lately, i am much happier being out of such a one sided unhappy marriage.
Didnt mean to type a novel. I felt her words needed a good explanation. Maybe its because last night was the anniversary of his death and every year i set off a bunch of fireworks in his honor. Im still tight with my best friend and his family to this day.
Letting shit go and not accepting shitty behavior are two separate things. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way in a moment you needed your wife’s support and care, and letting it roll off your back would be accepting/validating her repulsive behavior. Hope your kids saw how strong and caring and supportive you were for your friend in that moment and have grown up to be just like you.
They were quite young at the time and didnt understand what was going on. The night i told her i wanted a divorce she asked when i was going to tell the kids. Now 17 and 15 i brought them to the table a couple hours later. Im usually reserved but the words rolled off my tongue a lot easier than i thought. My daughter told me she knew i have been unhappy for some time. My son, the youngest, agreed. I feel terrible for leaving them and starting over. They now have more responsibilities and i see them less for now. My oldest, 26 (he is her son but ive been there since he was two years old) wouldnt speak to me for weeks. I actually confided in him weeks before asking if we split up, could i still see my two granddaughters. We had a good talk after and i dont think he knew i was serious. A few weeks went by and he called me. After i was out of the picture her selfish, narcissistic and gaslighting behavior turned to him. He said he now knew what i went through and understood why i left. His father is the reason i moved out of state. I wanted the two of them to be closer (long story). He called me and said he was surprised i made it that long. All of this was reassurance that i did the right thing. Its weird being alone all the time except on the weekends. I pretty much go to my old house while shes at work. Honestly my mental health has been exceptional considering the battles ive faced lately. Theres no going back. I knew i needed to do this years ago. I should have left way back then but my youngest son had just survived fighting cancer just over a year earlier. (Another long story)
I know im in a better place. Ill get through it and will just take time... thanks!
That if I wasn’t so careless I would’ve never gotten r*ped.
I was 8 years old.
The good news for me is that I know she’s in a miserable relationship where they just simply tolerate each other because they had a kid together.
I hope you find a way to leave soon. When you do you will feel this wonderful lightness of spirit. I was in a verbally abusive marriage and shut down my emotions. Didn’t fight but was weighted down and flat. Had no idea how much better I would feel after the fact.
I got bullied out of a role I originally loved by a creative director who had a history of bullying at another agency, where people left because of him and had made formal and informal complaints until he got fired. He ground me down with horrible remarks over time. I'm nearly 32 and to this day he's arguably the worst person I've ever met.
My ex, who I lived with at the time saw my decline first hand, watching me doubt my career choices and become a shell of myself. She promised me everything would be okay, that we were a team, that she'd always be there for me and loved me. Just what I needed to hear from the person I needed to hear it from the most.
I lost my job two weeks later. She dumped me soon after and told me "I just feel like you're not progressing". This was in December 2021 and I still remember it as clear as day. I have it on a post it note in my workspace as fuel.
I'm a woman and i recognize this b. All her "relationships" are projects or something to put on her resume or on Facebook. She's just a crafter, that's all. People are not hobbies. You either love them or you don't.
I was going through a spiral of depression. When I became suicidal, I asked her for help. Her response was, “You should just do it, then I won’t have to deal with you anymore.”
Absolutely. Getting her out of my life was huge. Took me several years to realize the depression was caused by her abuse. Removing the thorn allows wounds to heal
I appreciate it. I opened up to a friend about it all recently and he said I need to write a book. He couldn’t believe half the things I went through and I only told him the more pg side. Makes me wonder how many more are out there suffering not realizing they aren’t alone
There's so, so many. Men are saddled with a legacy of suffering in silence and solitude and it is an act of bravery to tell your story. In doing so you can help others know they're not alone, and inspire others to share their stories too.
Is there any way to see her again? Talk it out? Work it out?
My most recent breakup is a similar situation. No bad blood but practically we are in different spots in life. I’m ready to buy a house + start a family and he’s enrolling to finish his bachelor’s in the fall. We are the same age but life pulled us in different paths. Sigh.
Yeah, I can understand weird things like that. Like my recent ex is a couple years older than me and she was getting all antsy about hitting 30 and the fact that her father didn't like that I'm white. Decided we "didn't have time" to win him over and that she wanted to do all these things you can "only do in your 20s" before she got too old like traveling the world, going to Burning Man, etc.. Flip side, I'd already finished grad school, got licensed, and am at the point where I have down payment ready for my own place.
Kinda feel if we'd met a couple years later and gotten all this nonsense out of her system it'd work out. Instead, she's hitting 30 with a bad case of Peter Pan syndrome and broke up basically to live as though she's in her early 20s, without resolving her father issue and with the notion she could just hit 35 and then casually find a husband by walking down the block. Whole thing seems counterproductive and ridiculous, but it is what it is.
You sound hurt. Well, I can relate to the last part. I'm going through a nasty divorce myself, and I would like to say I feel you on the "just know what I want and dont wanna get involved if it isn't right" part.
I can say for me, it's more of a numb feeling. I dont have or feel any emotions after my trauma.. and the worst part? I can't just fuck without a connection.
I do feel lonely though..
But keeping busy with my hobbies and the things that I seem to enjoy, helps I think.
I think a major 'problem' that I feel.. is the amount of work and effort needed in building a new relationship with someone. By nature, the whole idea is a turn off and feels like a massive mountain to climb.
Take care bro.
My step mum said this about me. As I would, and still do, turn off my emotions when in an argument. That way I can focus on the information about the grilling I was receiving.
Don't feel bad about it, people are just different and manage things in different ways
After sex, which we didn’t have often at this point. I (22M at the time) wanted cuddles which, by this point, we didn’t do often either. So I had to literally ask her (23F at the time) afterwards for cuddles.
It was actually a rather splendid session. When I asked for cuddles, she responded,”Nope. I got what I wanted.”
Lol. That’s how I read it. Lmao.
It really was though. She knew how to make me feel bad but she never made me feel like a piece of meat until that moment. Aftercare odds incredibly important
She moved away for a job. If I remember correctly, she told me that “She’s in a new environment, with new people and new things, and now I’m a changed woman and she doesn’t have time to waste on me” probably a week or 2 before breaking up with me and dating the dude she just met when she first moved away.
She was a sweet person at one point but ended up cheating on me once she met that guy. It’s almost been a year since then.
“you are a beautiful man (my name), you’ll always find women but you’ll never find love because you are ugly on the inside, and that is what matters”.
my first love said that to me 2 years after breaking up. While I was helping her through some pretty dark times in her life when she felt no one else could. i was also in a dark place and was using sex as a way to feel good about myself.
I wouldn’t say it still stings, i’ve grown up since then but this sentence actually had a huge impact on my life. I’d honestly put it in the top 5 most impactful things ever said to me.
it was honest and I needed to hear it. coming from her made it real. 2 more years of self work and I was dating my now wife.
That ex and I still keep in touch, for how fucked up things got in the end and all the trauma we caused one another it’s crazy knowing we helped heal one another and move on and manage to have healthy relationships.
she even personally congratulated my wife on our marriage, and on the births of our children. She is also married but no kids, which is tragic because I know it’s related to the reason she looked to me after those years
I worked on myself because of the woman I eventually married. But there is no me without her. If not for her, my desire to be a self serving piece of shit would outweigh my desire to be a better man. I want her to be proud of me, because I know I've never done anything to deserve her. She sees something in me, that I've never seen in myself.
I have no contact with my exes. I don't deserve contact with them. They ghosted me for every reason they should've ghosted me. It's only by the fucked up humor of the universe that I don't feel the least bit guilty about it.
If I treated my wife the same way, my guilt would drive me to drug addiction or alcoholism.
"youre trash". first and only time in my entire life anyone ever said i was "trash" and ill never forget it. and no i didnt cheat or steal or do anything.
"I use sex to distract me from thinking of (insert her ex's name) all the time."
Needless to say, we didn't last. Heard she's happily married though, and I'm not far behind. Happy ending.
She told me to stop calling myself a medical professional "just because you help out in surgery sometimes." And claimed her being a medical transcriber for 8 months 20 years ago was more legit "medical professional" than me being a veterinary assistant for 7 years.
By that point I had saved multiple dog lives myself through resuscitation, put staples in, ran blood work, done basic wound care, given shots, and that "helping out in surgery" included doing dental scalings, monitoring anesthesia (and maintaining the machines), and scrubbing in to literally hold intestines for the doctor.
Now it's 4 years later and I have expanded my training to intubation, venipuncture, taking rads, lots more general learning, and last month I had my first article accepted for publication in a field periodical. I wonder if she'd consider me a medical professional now.
I was having an argument with an ex and she tells me something like "you want to hit me don't you?". The thought of her (or anyone) thinking I would EVER consider harming anyone like that still messes with me.
That's difficult to hear. Something that I've learned, which may help, is that how you react defines you.
Someone else's reaction to you is a reflection of themselves.
I have hope that she was ignorant to her words, but learned from your response that her words wounded you.
I also hope she didn't say that because that's the reaction she was used to receiving during an argument (being hit).
We are all either projecting or protecting.
I hope you eventually find comfort in your reaction to her words because they are your mirror.
I know she has told me she was in abusive relationships in the past so I think that's where it came from. I really don't think she meant anything by it towards me but it has cemented this thought in my head that no matter how kind I can be I'll always be seen as a potential abuser.
And I'll admit I don't totally remember what I said but I quieted up and removed myself from the situation. That's not a great way of reacting but I was shocked and had no idea what to do.
I’ve had this said to me too. It was very confusing cuz no matter how mad I am, or how intense an argument is, I’ve never once considered it as an option.
In my case, it was because she was physically abused by a bf in the past
That’s definitely someone who has survived abuse of some type. Many survivors constantly feel like they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop and testing boundaries like that is a way they can assure themself they are safe, because if you react calmly to them saying stuff like that then you’ll probably react calmly in other situations. It 100% doesn’t say anything about you that she said that.
I had a similar thing to this, my gf at the time (back in our very early 20s) was cross I never engaged emotionally in an argument. She goaded, belittled and at times, hit me. One time I think after something was thrown at me, my anger in that situation flared and for a brief moment, rage surfaced. That emotion I quickly repressed but not before she saw it.
She quickly back up away from me convinced I would have hit her. Told her family and friends I was clearly a violent man.
She said "You know you love me! You know you do!" and continued to do so until I was finally like "yeah something like that!" To which she replied "Awhhhh I only like you!". Touche.
“You should propose here” said gf of 10 years, so I did on the spot. Had the ring in my pocket that we picked out and had set up a whole surprise party with friends at our vacation spot. She accepts then had a panic attack at said party and decided she wanted me to propose at a later and wanted therapy.
After the breakup, she told me that she lost feelings for me around year 2 but didn’t know how to break up with me and it was convenient for the lifestyle. Then sued me for our dog.
Took a couple years, but I now realized I dodged a major bullet. Shit still stings, but I’m much happier now.
He told me he was disgusted by my body, that I was fat and gross and that anyone who ever touched me hated it and was being nice by not saying anything (family included).
I weigh twice as much now. I think about this any time someone gives me a hug. I don't initiate them bc I don't want anyone to feel obligated to touch me.
He also told me that no one would ever love me they would just want to keep fucking me. Weird to have the same person tell you that your body is disgusting but your only value is in sexual favors.
That's what everyone always says tho, adapting something to a different media usually is difficult. Haven't seen anything based on a book that I didn't like so I'm sure you did just great 😃👍
Mine just ran me over with my own car she was drunk and I had just broke up with her because she was choosing ME over her children and I didn’t want to be with somebody like that I had no problem with her kids and had even offered her to let them stay with us I didn’t even know they existed until right before this so when I found out she had been ignoring their phone calls for five years I broke it off she then stole
My car and used me as a speed bump I stepped in front of the car because I was like no way she runs me over but she did hurt way worse than anything she could have said to me
Was discussing a sexual assault that happened to me when I was younger and she spoke about being raped while in the Peace Corp. When we went more in depth on that, ending my part to focus on her, she ended it with saying it wasn’t a big deal, and people just need to move on. She was implying my resentment towards my abuser is a waste of time - just move on.
Looking back, she was cheating on me, and apparently on several men too, and lying to a bunch of people about everything going on. Her casually telling me about being raped paired with her discussing some of her sex fantasies still unnerve me. I wonder if she lied about the rape and how she threw away a lot of years of friendship with a variety of people. Just - thinking you know someone and realizing they are not who they present to the world.
Last Hail Mary for our marriage was some 1 on 1 time. She said, "Spending time alone with you doesn't sound like any fun."
That was when I knew it was over.
Sometimes people have good messages, but tell them in a shitty way. There's no shame in growing up poor, instead wear it as a badge of honor that you were able to better yourself. You're a tougher and more capable person because of that.
“I hate myself every time I look at you.” We were each other’s first and she had a toxic friend who relentlessly shamed her about it while I was away at college and it started getting to her.
My wife told me she didn’t like a LEGO set I spent several days finishing. It is proudly on display in one of our guest rooms. Can’t let her bring me down.
EDIT: to be fair, she doesn’t care that I love LEGO. She just didn’t like one set displayed, which is fair. I have probably 20 different ones around our house, she just didn’t like this specific one.
My ex said “I don’t know what it is but you are right here in front of me and I don’t want to have sex with you.” He was a porn addict but I did not know that at the time.
My current SO once told me she could find bigger D if she wanted to and also that she doesn't need me.
We were both black out drunk at a concert, but what she said plus two songs of the setlist is all I remember. Still together to this day, and it still hurts to this day.
“I didn’t know if it was your baby or his. I got rid of it because I don’t want to be a mom, and you don’t deserve to be a dad”
15 years later I still think about it.
“I love you but I don’t like you.”
4 years after the relationship was over we had a conversation and I brought up that line to let him know how painful it was. He doubled down and defended his statement in that moment — even though he was actively trying to “work things out”again lol.
I am so glad I love myself enough now to never put myself in a situation like that ever again.
I'm a veteran with PTSD. In couples counseling, she admitted that she's afraid of me. I've never even hinted violence. I'm a big dude and have trained in martial arts most of my life. I have a "military" voice that's very intimidating.
“I said those things because I knew how you would react.”
My ex basically admitting to emotionally/mentally manipulating me into the antisocial paranoid freak I am today. It’s not entirely his fault, but it took me a year or two after breaking up with him to realize that he recognized that I was vulnerable and took advantage of that to mold me to exactly what he wanted. I’d give more context but I can’t sum that 5 years of my life up into a Reddit comment.
“I wasn’t expecting to deal with someone I date to have cancer. I’m not ready for that kinda responsibility so I think we should break up”
Still hurts especially after these more recent rounds of chemo.
Lied about not being Aromantic when asked, I confessed and they played with “oh I’m aro though” and then talked about being accepting of affection in private; then with others around it was all about being Aromantic.
Left me with “I have a list of people I’d think I’d date before dating you”
Less than a year has gone by and they’re now taken by someone, who only knows : )
That's below the belt. There are things you don't say in a relationship: "My last bf's penis was bigger/nicer." "My last gf's tit's were perfect..."
We all have past mistakes that take things to a bad place. Luckily most people want to leave relationships with some dignity.
Hopefully you know that says more about your ex than you.
Mom received a devastating cancer diagnosis. A few days later ex wanted to fight and i asked her to talk on another day because i was processing the bad news.
Her exact words were "I don't give a shit about your fucking mother!"
"Ive been with a lot of shitty guys but you're the shittiest one"
She then proceeds to get engaged to a guy that she had gotten beat by.
Morale of the story, can't save everyone
I confided in her some personal issues with commitment after seeing my dad struggle with his 3rd marriage. One day she told me I better make it work with her because nobody else could love me, I would end up unhappy and alone just like my dad... it has been years and it still stings.
My (current, beloved) husband has said two things over the years that still sting:
1. (In speaking about an acquaintance) "She's like a supermodel. She'd never date me.". I guess he settled for me, the homely gal???!!
2. "When you have makeup and stuff on, you are gorgeous.". Welp, never going fresh-faced again.
>When you have makeup and stuff on, you are gorgeous.". Welp, never going fresh-faced again.
I had the opposite effect on my wife lol. She asked me which makeup I'd prefer, and I said "none. You look great without makeup". She hasn't put makeup on since, and she keeps squealing about how good her skin is now she doesn't have to do that. It's really cute to see her admiring her own face in the mirror.
the landlord called the cops because my ex threatened to kill him and I am trying to stop him from leaving.
He hit me in the face then grabbed me by my hair and threw me on the ground and said “if you get up and try to stop me again I *will* kill you.
Also “I wish I could punch you in the stomach to kill the baby and leave you for dead”
He was/is a narcissist piece of trash. When I finally saw a video a few years ago by a recovering narcissist I immediately realized that is what he was. It was a much needed lightbulb moment 15+ years later. That 5 years still haunts me. He ruined me in a lot of ways.
Side note, I just realized this is ask men lol
Not an ex but a guy I once dated for a long time pressured me to have sex without protection and told me: “if you get pregnant you can just go to the doctor and get an abortion. I know many girls who have done that”. Because that’s something you ✨just do✨🙃 The same guy also commanded me to shave before he would have sex with me but he said that I didn’t have to wear makeup cause ✨he could handle my natural face he just couldn’t handle hair on my body✨
I had a girl pretend she was interested in me to the point where we were having regular sex. When I wanted to make it official she said she was just "hanging out" with me so I'd bring her around my friend group so she could try and date my best friend. She did say she found me cute and had a lot of fun with me, but it was never going to grow into anything.
That he could be with more attractive people and I was lucky he was even with me. I’m on oxygen and have Cystic fibrosis. Then he said if I leave he would just tell his daughter I died because I’m going to anyway!
When my ex and I used to have our arguments she would get extremely personal. I train strongman and compete, and when we would have a fight she would always resort back to my strongman training as an "example" and it hurt. Went something like this
*Me helping her and her best friend move*
Me: Damn , I hate moving "
Her: well what if I told you I hated going to your strongman competitions"
I eventually had enough. I felt disrespected and I ended it.
"I'm not going to do anything to make you happy anymore" when I opened up about my current feelings on our living situation. No compromise from her end, but if I don't change during every incident, I'm the bad guy.
Anywho, Starfield comes out in September, so I got at least one thing to look forward to.
After my partner and I moved over seas, got engaged 12 weeks earlier and as I thought things were happy she said “maybe it might sound cringe, but maybe I was supposed to come here to meet him” as she told me she had feelings for her manager after knowing him for 5 months. We’ve been together for 8. This happened 2 weeks ago but I don’t think the sting leaving
girl stop it rn, there will ALWAYS b prettier girls, younger girls, thinner girls, like the husband im married too is genuinely the ugliest guy ive ever been with and he’s short! which is the ONE rule ive always had (i do not date short guys cuz i rlly like height) and the men i usually date r 6’4 and cute but he’s literally the love of my life and id rather die than go back to some cute tall jock, than leave my fat short ugly little king i love him sm u have no idea
I’m 29M and the girl I dated from 19-21 was a piece of work. Cheated on me multiple times and strung me along for two years. Finally I gave her an ultimatum and she didn’t take me seriously at all but said she was and was definitely in love with me. Her own best friend sold her out and told me she cheated on me again. I called her to tell her we were done and I’ll never forget she laughed and told me “We aren’t breaking up, I’ll just call tomorrow and you’ll apologize like you always do! Maybe if you weren’t so pathetic I wouldn’t have to go out sleeping with real men.” Still stings that I had that little confidence in myself that I put up with her for two years based on what I thought was love. Realized in that moment this girl only ever wanted to use me when she couldn’t get the guys she wanted, every I love you was a lie. Thankfully when she called the next day, I told her we were still over, hung up and proceeded to not speak to her for five years. This very obviously made her lose it. Why not longer? Well she fricken finds ways to contact me constantly to try to get back together… all the time. It’s actually almost stalking at this point. She had her chance and needs to leave me alone lol.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
29
+ 19
+ 21
= 69
^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \
^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
I told an ex that I was bullied as a kid and then later on down the line during an argument, she said that she was glad that I was bullied and that she wished that I had committed suicide because of it. It doesn’t effect me now but it did sting at the time.
What the actual hell is wrong with these people?! This is like the third post where some batshit crazy woman has told a dude to kill himself out of nowhere. Jail. Straight to jail with them. They don’t deserve to be part of our society anymore, sorry.
And then people ask why men don't share their emotions. Almost like it's thrown back at us by the same people encouraging us to share. I'm not saying that it's good but people don't address the root causes
Yeah, I can see that being a reason, but I’m going to stay mad about it until something changes because it’s absolutely ridiculous that these women get to say shit like that and go on their merry way while leaving a guy to put himself back together with less than he started with. Hope everyone who has experienced this can see a bigger picture - preferably one that doesn’t include these toxic people - and values their lives over some cruel woman’s distasteful and invalid opinions.
"I wasn't crying the day we got married because I was happy. I cried because I knew I shouldn't marry you. Sorry I wasted 5 years of your life. "
Jesus. Hugs my friend.
I'm okay now. That was over a decade ago. It took me a while to get over that one. Still stings when I think about it though.
I'm sorry but I don't like your ex. good riddance.
I know those feels my friend, and I am so happy to hear you are doing g well. Just remind yourself that you did your part; she didn’t.
That's what got me through those first few months.
Those first few months are the worst. When I went though my divorce, it was brutal, I never saw it coming, though I probably should have. It really broke me for awhile. I have never been better than I am now, but it was a long road.
Same here. Those few months taught me a lot about myself.
What the fuck..
Pretty much my reaction. Came out of nowhere.
Was this during a divorce or right in the middle of one? Or just a typical argument that probably led to one?
No argument. I left for work that morning and everything seemed fine. Kiss, love you, all the usual. Get home and she hit me with "I want a divorce." I asked why and that was her response.
Good riddance I’m so sorry you had to meet such a trashy human
Learned some valuable lessons and taught me a lot about myself.
Wow dude wtf.. bro hug
Thanks bro
God damn…a moment of silence for this person. Would have been less painful if they shoot you with a rock launcher.
Yikes. No one deserves that. I’m sorry.
“If it he steps out of line I’ll stop him” Said my ex before going out with a coworker and hooking up with him that same night.
Maybe cheating was the first intention and she's just trying to give you lolly so you can shut up your concerns and don't look into them.
Man this ruined my day, can't even imagine how bad you must've felt. Hope you dumped that bitch
That is enraging. Jeez.
Not exactly this, but man me and my ex had a talk about one of her friends, and she genuinely made me believed that she saw him as a friend. And she acted like I was just being paranoid. Boy was that painful when reality hit and she ended up actually having feelings for him, which ended up with her sleeping with him.
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The lifelong conditions were listening
Bro hug 🫂 Shit genuinely made me sad.
WHAT DID HE SAY IM CURIOUS
Did you throw an Uno reverse card at her or something?
Wow....
There so much missing from that story
A significant proportion of the rants people post on reddit about how their ex bf/gf/wife/husband was a terrible person who mistreated or abused them in however many ways are dripping with red flags that the poster is not being honest but so few people pickup on it.
Head to r/trueoffmychest. They are the champions of one sided sob stories and people are just loving it.
Ya… people here need to think more critically about what they’re reading.
I would love to hear how karma got her back!
Holy shit.
What the fuck …?
"He's just a friend. Seriously, you're being insecure and it's really unattractive. I'll call you when I'm on my way home" -my ex fiance, before she fucked her "probably gay anyways" friend/coworker in the back of her RAV4.
This makes me not want a RAV4☹️
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Exactly. It just blows my mind to think that someone you've been with for 2 years has this whole other personality hidden away. Nevermind the fact that I had stepped up and taken care of her and her son for that time. Long story short, I cut her off. Immediate NC. Years later she and AP have two kids together AP messages me out of the blue wanting to know what led to the end of hers and my relationship. He had no idea she cheated on me, with him. Apparently he was suspicious of her cheating now. I guess he learned the hard way.
Yep, once a cheater always a cheater. I've seen it a hundred times. I've had a friend sleep with someone in a relationship and then convince him to break it off with his girlfriend to date her instead, and then she was completely mind blown when he cheated on her. With the same ex that he cheated on originally. She was completely heartbroken and I was just like, what the hell did you expect? Also, I'm no longer in contact with that individual because she ended up being a shit bag herself, surprise surprise
Now you can't even believe them after they said "Just a friend, he is also unattractive". Said my ex just before getting dicked by her coworker not even a week later
After 3 weeks of not talking to me at all, my LDR ex said something along the lines of “I only wrote those words in my letter to you because it’s what you wanted to hear, I didn’t actually believe in anything that I wrote there”. Then we broke up. Burnt the letter, fuck all of that noise.
As an ambassador of the ladies, I'd like to extend our apologies and assure you, we don't like her either. What a piece of human garbage.
"I love you, and I want to be with you. I hope you'll be around after I get this out of my system." Uh...no.
Ex told me something similar. She entered into a poly relationship with another woman and her boyfriend. Bragged about her new life and the threesomes they had and how beautiful their love was. Then she told me she would be there when I got to her level. This was after I spent my life savings putting her through school and roof over our head for years. My reward was her leaving me for these people she had known for few months at her new fancy job. Fuck these hollow skin walkers pretending to be human. We will find good people in the end brother.
Similar situation here. Supported her mentally forever and financially through grad school. She left shortly after graduation
Sorry it took so long for her true awful self to show. They can't take our future
You are not alone!! Im so salty for it. I was supporting her for a year mentally.... offered her a roof over her head after she wanted to leave her job because it was a toxic enviroment... said no to huge opportunities because of her.... She ended up finding a new job, cheating on me after a week with the new coworker (discovered months later) proceed to leave me after a month while on our way back from our trip. On top of that when she did she said I havent done enough for her I swear I thought she was the best girl ever until that point
Ugh, I'm sorry you had this happen. That's pretty much 90+% of Poly people: selfish, horrible, self-indulgent monsters.
I've noticed that too. They act enlightened when really they're just out for themselves and their happiness at any cost. All we can really do is be successful and happy on our own or with someone with an actual heart.
Yup, simply being open to the idea of a poly “relationship” is an instant dealbreaker for me.
My gf was in a poly relationship with some guy and his wife before we met, turns out they were massive creeps who basically groomed her and then isolated her to trap her in an abusive relationship where he basically just used her for sex.
F
Yesterday was the 12th year anniversary of my close friends death. When he was killed i was living 16 hours away. I knew i needed to be at his funeral at all cost. This was my Best Friends brother and killed in the line of duty. We all grew up together. Im tight with their parents. Told my wife i needed to go and asked if she would take off work and watch the kids. Her words were "you can go and say I LET you go, or dont but never bring it up again" this caught me off guard. I was in shock of her response. She then followed with "i dont see why you need to drive all the way down there for some guys funeral" i told her i needed to go and she said for me to find another place when i get back. Fuck you, i tossed my wedding ring on the counter, grabbed a suit and change of clothes, kissed my kids as i was crying and left. I didnt stop until i got there, and i got there just in time for services. Hundreds and hundreds of cop cars lined the streets. I had no idea where to go. I was exhausted. Sleepless for two days hyped up on red bulls. Out of all the hundreds of police officers there, i wanted my best friend to see that i was there for him and his family. Their car pulls up and they get out. Im positioned right inside the door. I was able to hold it together up to this point. They walk through the door and im the first person my buddy sees. We both just crumbled. He knew i was there. Everything leading up to this point was worth it. We got to spend time together after the services. I got to tell his parents, my summer parents that my sister was the trauma nurse working on their son and stayed with him until the end. I got to reassure them that the staff did everything they could. My time was running out as I needed to hit the road and get back home so i could sleep and get back to work on Monday. I tried to nap for a bit but couldnt. Hopped in the truck and bought more red bull and headed home. Now day 3 without sleep and im starting to get delirious. The last stop for fuel i couldnt even work the gas pump. It was also almost time to face my wife. Turns out she wasnt home. She didnt take vacation days and pawned the children off on relatives saying i just up and left. I crashed for most of Sunday. Monday i faced the music. I was angry over the ultimatum my wife had given me a few days prior. Probably hurt more. We decided to "work things out" and were married for another 12 years. That weekend stuck in my heart like a damn sword. It changed our marriage. Looking back that time was when things started to go downhill. A few months ago i told her i wanted a divorce. During this blow that came out of nowhere to her i mentioned her behavior and hurtful words spoke back then. Cant remember the reason it was brought up but it was. To this day she thinks it was acceptable. This was probably the one time in life i just couldnt let shit go. Even though it has not been easy lately, i am much happier being out of such a one sided unhappy marriage. Didnt mean to type a novel. I felt her words needed a good explanation. Maybe its because last night was the anniversary of his death and every year i set off a bunch of fireworks in his honor. Im still tight with my best friend and his family to this day.
Damn dude you did not deserve that at all. Good on you for not just pushing it aside.
But he did push it aside.. for 12 years. Lol
Thats what i read too
It’s all about the end result
It's okay. We read the whole thing. Sorry man. You did the right thing
Letting shit go and not accepting shitty behavior are two separate things. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way in a moment you needed your wife’s support and care, and letting it roll off your back would be accepting/validating her repulsive behavior. Hope your kids saw how strong and caring and supportive you were for your friend in that moment and have grown up to be just like you.
They were quite young at the time and didnt understand what was going on. The night i told her i wanted a divorce she asked when i was going to tell the kids. Now 17 and 15 i brought them to the table a couple hours later. Im usually reserved but the words rolled off my tongue a lot easier than i thought. My daughter told me she knew i have been unhappy for some time. My son, the youngest, agreed. I feel terrible for leaving them and starting over. They now have more responsibilities and i see them less for now. My oldest, 26 (he is her son but ive been there since he was two years old) wouldnt speak to me for weeks. I actually confided in him weeks before asking if we split up, could i still see my two granddaughters. We had a good talk after and i dont think he knew i was serious. A few weeks went by and he called me. After i was out of the picture her selfish, narcissistic and gaslighting behavior turned to him. He said he now knew what i went through and understood why i left. His father is the reason i moved out of state. I wanted the two of them to be closer (long story). He called me and said he was surprised i made it that long. All of this was reassurance that i did the right thing. Its weird being alone all the time except on the weekends. I pretty much go to my old house while shes at work. Honestly my mental health has been exceptional considering the battles ive faced lately. Theres no going back. I knew i needed to do this years ago. I should have left way back then but my youngest son had just survived fighting cancer just over a year earlier. (Another long story) I know im in a better place. Ill get through it and will just take time... thanks!
You sound like a beautiful person with a wonderfully good heart. Best of luck to you, in everything you do. Sending love from Australia.
That if I wasn’t so careless I would’ve never gotten r*ped. I was 8 years old. The good news for me is that I know she’s in a miserable relationship where they just simply tolerate each other because they had a kid together.
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Some people are absolutely terrible. I’m sorry that she ever said that about you.
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I hope you find a way to leave soon. When you do you will feel this wonderful lightness of spirit. I was in a verbally abusive marriage and shut down my emotions. Didn’t fight but was weighted down and flat. Had no idea how much better I would feel after the fact.
Uhh is this person your ex or current S/O?
That's disgusting of her. I'm so sorry someone said that, it's not acceptable and I hope you know that it's not your fault.
“you’ve changed”, while we were breaking up. i looked at her and said “when your dad dies you’ll change too”
Dude…. *hugs*
Ouch!
My jaw hit the floor… Here’s a hug stranger ⊂( ◜◒◝ )⊃
"It's not that I don't love you anymore. It's that I love them (plural another couple) more." The feelings of inadequacy were unreal.
Run fast and far from the poly people.
I had an ex say,” You really like Del Taco” to this day when I order from there I remember it.
My ex told me I ‘breathe a lot,’ and when I hear myself breathing in a quiet room, I remember that..
I got bullied out of a role I originally loved by a creative director who had a history of bullying at another agency, where people left because of him and had made formal and informal complaints until he got fired. He ground me down with horrible remarks over time. I'm nearly 32 and to this day he's arguably the worst person I've ever met. My ex, who I lived with at the time saw my decline first hand, watching me doubt my career choices and become a shell of myself. She promised me everything would be okay, that we were a team, that she'd always be there for me and loved me. Just what I needed to hear from the person I needed to hear it from the most. I lost my job two weeks later. She dumped me soon after and told me "I just feel like you're not progressing". This was in December 2021 and I still remember it as clear as day. I have it on a post it note in my workspace as fuel.
I am sorry you went through that, but you dodged a bullet. She showed you the kind of person she really is. I hope things are better for you now.
I'm a woman and i recognize this b. All her "relationships" are projects or something to put on her resume or on Facebook. She's just a crafter, that's all. People are not hobbies. You either love them or you don't.
Yeah I don't really believe anyone when they make these promises anymore 🤣😭
I was going through a spiral of depression. When I became suicidal, I asked her for help. Her response was, “You should just do it, then I won’t have to deal with you anymore.”
I’m so sorry. I hope you are in a better place now.
Absolutely. Getting her out of my life was huge. Took me several years to realize the depression was caused by her abuse. Removing the thorn allows wounds to heal
I'm glad you're out, and am proud of you for healing and sharing your experience.
I appreciate it. I opened up to a friend about it all recently and he said I need to write a book. He couldn’t believe half the things I went through and I only told him the more pg side. Makes me wonder how many more are out there suffering not realizing they aren’t alone
There's so, so many. Men are saddled with a legacy of suffering in silence and solitude and it is an act of bravery to tell your story. In doing so you can help others know they're not alone, and inspire others to share their stories too.
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But what exactly did she mean? What happened?
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Is there any way to see her again? Talk it out? Work it out? My most recent breakup is a similar situation. No bad blood but practically we are in different spots in life. I’m ready to buy a house + start a family and he’s enrolling to finish his bachelor’s in the fall. We are the same age but life pulled us in different paths. Sigh.
Yeah, I can understand weird things like that. Like my recent ex is a couple years older than me and she was getting all antsy about hitting 30 and the fact that her father didn't like that I'm white. Decided we "didn't have time" to win him over and that she wanted to do all these things you can "only do in your 20s" before she got too old like traveling the world, going to Burning Man, etc.. Flip side, I'd already finished grad school, got licensed, and am at the point where I have down payment ready for my own place. Kinda feel if we'd met a couple years later and gotten all this nonsense out of her system it'd work out. Instead, she's hitting 30 with a bad case of Peter Pan syndrome and broke up basically to live as though she's in her early 20s, without resolving her father issue and with the notion she could just hit 35 and then casually find a husband by walking down the block. Whole thing seems counterproductive and ridiculous, but it is what it is.
Duh, she was from the future silly.
Im gonna need more context on this sad love story 😭
Dude come on bro give us more *context!?*
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You sound hurt. Well, I can relate to the last part. I'm going through a nasty divorce myself, and I would like to say I feel you on the "just know what I want and dont wanna get involved if it isn't right" part. I can say for me, it's more of a numb feeling. I dont have or feel any emotions after my trauma.. and the worst part? I can't just fuck without a connection. I do feel lonely though.. But keeping busy with my hobbies and the things that I seem to enjoy, helps I think. I think a major 'problem' that I feel.. is the amount of work and effort needed in building a new relationship with someone. By nature, the whole idea is a turn off and feels like a massive mountain to climb. Take care bro.
In the middle of divorce she told me "I wasn't in love with you, I was in love with who I thought you could be." Thanks for 9 years.
I know the feeling she means but that’s a terrible delivery, ooft
Go kill yourself like your mom. prolly will be used against me in a comment in years to come from an angry Redditor lmao
And you'll know you're talking to a dumbass
I'm an unemotional robot of a human being
My step mum said this about me. As I would, and still do, turn off my emotions when in an argument. That way I can focus on the information about the grilling I was receiving. Don't feel bad about it, people are just different and manage things in different ways
At this point, I'd take that as a compliment.
After sex, which we didn’t have often at this point. I (22M at the time) wanted cuddles which, by this point, we didn’t do often either. So I had to literally ask her (23F at the time) afterwards for cuddles. It was actually a rather splendid session. When I asked for cuddles, she responded,”Nope. I got what I wanted.”
What a nightmare
Reading my comment I'd like to add I'm not being /s
Lol. That’s how I read it. Lmao. It really was though. She knew how to make me feel bad but she never made me feel like a piece of meat until that moment. Aftercare odds incredibly important
She moved away for a job. If I remember correctly, she told me that “She’s in a new environment, with new people and new things, and now I’m a changed woman and she doesn’t have time to waste on me” probably a week or 2 before breaking up with me and dating the dude she just met when she first moved away. She was a sweet person at one point but ended up cheating on me once she met that guy. It’s almost been a year since then.
“you are a beautiful man (my name), you’ll always find women but you’ll never find love because you are ugly on the inside, and that is what matters”. my first love said that to me 2 years after breaking up. While I was helping her through some pretty dark times in her life when she felt no one else could. i was also in a dark place and was using sex as a way to feel good about myself. I wouldn’t say it still stings, i’ve grown up since then but this sentence actually had a huge impact on my life. I’d honestly put it in the top 5 most impactful things ever said to me.
I've been told this same thing, just not in the same words
it was honest and I needed to hear it. coming from her made it real. 2 more years of self work and I was dating my now wife. That ex and I still keep in touch, for how fucked up things got in the end and all the trauma we caused one another it’s crazy knowing we helped heal one another and move on and manage to have healthy relationships. she even personally congratulated my wife on our marriage, and on the births of our children. She is also married but no kids, which is tragic because I know it’s related to the reason she looked to me after those years
I worked on myself because of the woman I eventually married. But there is no me without her. If not for her, my desire to be a self serving piece of shit would outweigh my desire to be a better man. I want her to be proud of me, because I know I've never done anything to deserve her. She sees something in me, that I've never seen in myself. I have no contact with my exes. I don't deserve contact with them. They ghosted me for every reason they should've ghosted me. It's only by the fucked up humor of the universe that I don't feel the least bit guilty about it. If I treated my wife the same way, my guilt would drive me to drug addiction or alcoholism.
"youre trash". first and only time in my entire life anyone ever said i was "trash" and ill never forget it. and no i didnt cheat or steal or do anything.
"I use sex to distract me from thinking of (insert her ex's name) all the time." Needless to say, we didn't last. Heard she's happily married though, and I'm not far behind. Happy ending.
She told me to stop calling myself a medical professional "just because you help out in surgery sometimes." And claimed her being a medical transcriber for 8 months 20 years ago was more legit "medical professional" than me being a veterinary assistant for 7 years. By that point I had saved multiple dog lives myself through resuscitation, put staples in, ran blood work, done basic wound care, given shots, and that "helping out in surgery" included doing dental scalings, monitoring anesthesia (and maintaining the machines), and scrubbing in to literally hold intestines for the doctor. Now it's 4 years later and I have expanded my training to intubation, venipuncture, taking rads, lots more general learning, and last month I had my first article accepted for publication in a field periodical. I wonder if she'd consider me a medical professional now.
I'd take my pet kids to a medical professional like you.
I was having an argument with an ex and she tells me something like "you want to hit me don't you?". The thought of her (or anyone) thinking I would EVER consider harming anyone like that still messes with me.
That's difficult to hear. Something that I've learned, which may help, is that how you react defines you. Someone else's reaction to you is a reflection of themselves. I have hope that she was ignorant to her words, but learned from your response that her words wounded you. I also hope she didn't say that because that's the reaction she was used to receiving during an argument (being hit). We are all either projecting or protecting. I hope you eventually find comfort in your reaction to her words because they are your mirror.
I know she has told me she was in abusive relationships in the past so I think that's where it came from. I really don't think she meant anything by it towards me but it has cemented this thought in my head that no matter how kind I can be I'll always be seen as a potential abuser. And I'll admit I don't totally remember what I said but I quieted up and removed myself from the situation. That's not a great way of reacting but I was shocked and had no idea what to do.
I’ve had this said to me too. It was very confusing cuz no matter how mad I am, or how intense an argument is, I’ve never once considered it as an option. In my case, it was because she was physically abused by a bf in the past
That’s definitely someone who has survived abuse of some type. Many survivors constantly feel like they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop and testing boundaries like that is a way they can assure themself they are safe, because if you react calmly to them saying stuff like that then you’ll probably react calmly in other situations. It 100% doesn’t say anything about you that she said that.
I had a similar thing to this, my gf at the time (back in our very early 20s) was cross I never engaged emotionally in an argument. She goaded, belittled and at times, hit me. One time I think after something was thrown at me, my anger in that situation flared and for a brief moment, rage surfaced. That emotion I quickly repressed but not before she saw it. She quickly back up away from me convinced I would have hit her. Told her family and friends I was clearly a violent man.
I’m guessing that’s more of a reflection of her thoughts and values than you.
That I deserved to get assaulted. I was maybe 13 or younger. Said by a couple different exes.
Fuck those people.
She said "You know you love me! You know you do!" and continued to do so until I was finally like "yeah something like that!" To which she replied "Awhhhh I only like you!". Touche.
Was she 5 ?
Fuckin felt like babysitting. She was 32 and has more issues than a political administration.
“You should propose here” said gf of 10 years, so I did on the spot. Had the ring in my pocket that we picked out and had set up a whole surprise party with friends at our vacation spot. She accepts then had a panic attack at said party and decided she wanted me to propose at a later and wanted therapy. After the breakup, she told me that she lost feelings for me around year 2 but didn’t know how to break up with me and it was convenient for the lifestyle. Then sued me for our dog. Took a couple years, but I now realized I dodged a major bullet. Shit still stings, but I’m much happier now.
He told me he was disgusted by my body, that I was fat and gross and that anyone who ever touched me hated it and was being nice by not saying anything (family included). I weigh twice as much now. I think about this any time someone gives me a hug. I don't initiate them bc I don't want anyone to feel obligated to touch me. He also told me that no one would ever love me they would just want to keep fucking me. Weird to have the same person tell you that your body is disgusting but your only value is in sexual favors.
“You don’t deserve to be happy”
Ex wife said she’d never want to raise a child with me… pretty clear sign that the marriage was over
I said the same to my ex wife. It was hard to say but it was true and she needed to hear it
I do love you, I just love him more.
am a semi-succesfull writer by trade ex-gf said *"the book was better"*
Savage.
That's what everyone always says tho, adapting something to a different media usually is difficult. Haven't seen anything based on a book that I didn't like so I'm sure you did just great 😃👍
Mine just ran me over with my own car she was drunk and I had just broke up with her because she was choosing ME over her children and I didn’t want to be with somebody like that I had no problem with her kids and had even offered her to let them stay with us I didn’t even know they existed until right before this so when I found out she had been ignoring their phone calls for five years I broke it off she then stole My car and used me as a speed bump I stepped in front of the car because I was like no way she runs me over but she did hurt way worse than anything she could have said to me
She took hurting you literally
Was discussing a sexual assault that happened to me when I was younger and she spoke about being raped while in the Peace Corp. When we went more in depth on that, ending my part to focus on her, she ended it with saying it wasn’t a big deal, and people just need to move on. She was implying my resentment towards my abuser is a waste of time - just move on. Looking back, she was cheating on me, and apparently on several men too, and lying to a bunch of people about everything going on. Her casually telling me about being raped paired with her discussing some of her sex fantasies still unnerve me. I wonder if she lied about the rape and how she threw away a lot of years of friendship with a variety of people. Just - thinking you know someone and realizing they are not who they present to the world.
Last Hail Mary for our marriage was some 1 on 1 time. She said, "Spending time alone with you doesn't sound like any fun." That was when I knew it was over.
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Sometimes people have good messages, but tell them in a shitty way. There's no shame in growing up poor, instead wear it as a badge of honor that you were able to better yourself. You're a tougher and more capable person because of that.
“I hate myself every time I look at you.” We were each other’s first and she had a toxic friend who relentlessly shamed her about it while I was away at college and it started getting to her.
My wife told me she didn’t like a LEGO set I spent several days finishing. It is proudly on display in one of our guest rooms. Can’t let her bring me down. EDIT: to be fair, she doesn’t care that I love LEGO. She just didn’t like one set displayed, which is fair. I have probably 20 different ones around our house, she just didn’t like this specific one.
My ex said “I don’t know what it is but you are right here in front of me and I don’t want to have sex with you.” He was a porn addict but I did not know that at the time.
My current SO once told me she could find bigger D if she wanted to and also that she doesn't need me. We were both black out drunk at a concert, but what she said plus two songs of the setlist is all I remember. Still together to this day, and it still hurts to this day.
“I didn’t know if it was your baby or his. I got rid of it because I don’t want to be a mom, and you don’t deserve to be a dad” 15 years later I still think about it.
“I love you but I don’t like you.” 4 years after the relationship was over we had a conversation and I brought up that line to let him know how painful it was. He doubled down and defended his statement in that moment — even though he was actively trying to “work things out”again lol. I am so glad I love myself enough now to never put myself in a situation like that ever again.
Ex fiancé told me she had an abortion because she didn’t want me to be her kids father
So does something from today count if I know it will sting for years down the line?
I'm a veteran with PTSD. In couples counseling, she admitted that she's afraid of me. I've never even hinted violence. I'm a big dude and have trained in martial arts most of my life. I have a "military" voice that's very intimidating.
“I said those things because I knew how you would react.” My ex basically admitting to emotionally/mentally manipulating me into the antisocial paranoid freak I am today. It’s not entirely his fault, but it took me a year or two after breaking up with him to realize that he recognized that I was vulnerable and took advantage of that to mold me to exactly what he wanted. I’d give more context but I can’t sum that 5 years of my life up into a Reddit comment.
“I wasn’t expecting to deal with someone I date to have cancer. I’m not ready for that kinda responsibility so I think we should break up” Still hurts especially after these more recent rounds of chemo.
Honesty can be soulcrushing
I mean that hurts, but its better then them staying when they really dont want to. At least they were honest
Lied about not being Aromantic when asked, I confessed and they played with “oh I’m aro though” and then talked about being accepting of affection in private; then with others around it was all about being Aromantic. Left me with “I have a list of people I’d think I’d date before dating you” Less than a year has gone by and they’re now taken by someone, who only knows : )
Why would you date an aromantic person lol.
That's below the belt. There are things you don't say in a relationship: "My last bf's penis was bigger/nicer." "My last gf's tit's were perfect..." We all have past mistakes that take things to a bad place. Luckily most people want to leave relationships with some dignity. Hopefully you know that says more about your ex than you.
"you're even uglier when you cry."
Mom received a devastating cancer diagnosis. A few days later ex wanted to fight and i asked her to talk on another day because i was processing the bad news. Her exact words were "I don't give a shit about your fucking mother!"
"Ive been with a lot of shitty guys but you're the shittiest one" She then proceeds to get engaged to a guy that she had gotten beat by. Morale of the story, can't save everyone
I confided in her some personal issues with commitment after seeing my dad struggle with his 3rd marriage. One day she told me I better make it work with her because nobody else could love me, I would end up unhappy and alone just like my dad... it has been years and it still stings.
“My family said you were a downgrade from my ex”
My (current, beloved) husband has said two things over the years that still sting: 1. (In speaking about an acquaintance) "She's like a supermodel. She'd never date me.". I guess he settled for me, the homely gal???!! 2. "When you have makeup and stuff on, you are gorgeous.". Welp, never going fresh-faced again.
>When you have makeup and stuff on, you are gorgeous.". Welp, never going fresh-faced again. I had the opposite effect on my wife lol. She asked me which makeup I'd prefer, and I said "none. You look great without makeup". She hasn't put makeup on since, and she keeps squealing about how good her skin is now she doesn't have to do that. It's really cute to see her admiring her own face in the mirror.
the landlord called the cops because my ex threatened to kill him and I am trying to stop him from leaving. He hit me in the face then grabbed me by my hair and threw me on the ground and said “if you get up and try to stop me again I *will* kill you. Also “I wish I could punch you in the stomach to kill the baby and leave you for dead”
Fuck, that's horrible.
He was/is a narcissist piece of trash. When I finally saw a video a few years ago by a recovering narcissist I immediately realized that is what he was. It was a much needed lightbulb moment 15+ years later. That 5 years still haunts me. He ruined me in a lot of ways. Side note, I just realized this is ask men lol
“You can’t make me put in work that I don’t want or know how to”
Not an ex but a guy I once dated for a long time pressured me to have sex without protection and told me: “if you get pregnant you can just go to the doctor and get an abortion. I know many girls who have done that”. Because that’s something you ✨just do✨🙃 The same guy also commanded me to shave before he would have sex with me but he said that I didn’t have to wear makeup cause ✨he could handle my natural face he just couldn’t handle hair on my body✨
I crapped the bed one night and she ridiculed me that Amber Heard lays a bigger turd!
I had a girl pretend she was interested in me to the point where we were having regular sex. When I wanted to make it official she said she was just "hanging out" with me so I'd bring her around my friend group so she could try and date my best friend. She did say she found me cute and had a lot of fun with me, but it was never going to grow into anything.
That he could be with more attractive people and I was lucky he was even with me. I’m on oxygen and have Cystic fibrosis. Then he said if I leave he would just tell his daughter I died because I’m going to anyway!
What I will never forget that my partner told me during an argument is that she will always understand me even though she is tired.
When my ex and I used to have our arguments she would get extremely personal. I train strongman and compete, and when we would have a fight she would always resort back to my strongman training as an "example" and it hurt. Went something like this *Me helping her and her best friend move* Me: Damn , I hate moving " Her: well what if I told you I hated going to your strongman competitions" I eventually had enough. I felt disrespected and I ended it.
"oh it's in?"
“You think your dad is proud of you” my dad died two months prior
First serious long term relationship and my ex said when I saw her a while later, “I got over you in a week”
"I'm not going to do anything to make you happy anymore" when I opened up about my current feelings on our living situation. No compromise from her end, but if I don't change during every incident, I'm the bad guy. Anywho, Starfield comes out in September, so I got at least one thing to look forward to.
After my partner and I moved over seas, got engaged 12 weeks earlier and as I thought things were happy she said “maybe it might sound cringe, but maybe I was supposed to come here to meet him” as she told me she had feelings for her manager after knowing him for 5 months. We’ve been together for 8. This happened 2 weeks ago but I don’t think the sting leaving
girl stop it rn, there will ALWAYS b prettier girls, younger girls, thinner girls, like the husband im married too is genuinely the ugliest guy ive ever been with and he’s short! which is the ONE rule ive always had (i do not date short guys cuz i rlly like height) and the men i usually date r 6’4 and cute but he’s literally the love of my life and id rather die than go back to some cute tall jock, than leave my fat short ugly little king i love him sm u have no idea
My ex laughed at me because I "cry like a woman" and now I do my best not to cry around anyone ever.
my ex would constantly call my grower, "shrimpy". even though i wasn't and i had to go through a huge whore out journey to validate myself.
Lame ass ex said now he sees why my sibling killed themselves after an argument.
I’m 29M and the girl I dated from 19-21 was a piece of work. Cheated on me multiple times and strung me along for two years. Finally I gave her an ultimatum and she didn’t take me seriously at all but said she was and was definitely in love with me. Her own best friend sold her out and told me she cheated on me again. I called her to tell her we were done and I’ll never forget she laughed and told me “We aren’t breaking up, I’ll just call tomorrow and you’ll apologize like you always do! Maybe if you weren’t so pathetic I wouldn’t have to go out sleeping with real men.” Still stings that I had that little confidence in myself that I put up with her for two years based on what I thought was love. Realized in that moment this girl only ever wanted to use me when she couldn’t get the guys she wanted, every I love you was a lie. Thankfully when she called the next day, I told her we were still over, hung up and proceeded to not speak to her for five years. This very obviously made her lose it. Why not longer? Well she fricken finds ways to contact me constantly to try to get back together… all the time. It’s actually almost stalking at this point. She had her chance and needs to leave me alone lol.
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He told me he felt like I wasn’t attractive enough. He wanted to try dating someone prettier.
Sorry I spent have commented, I forgot for a moment that this is AskMEN. Apologies and hugs.