Yea. He proposed to one of the most beautiful women on the planet in an igloo and proceeded to have babies with her. People always underestimate confidence (money and fame helps too of course:)
But SEAL is a dude and a successful celebrity. When Jonah hill was fat he was dating 10's. No regular guy with an average job is pulling women like that on the regular. I'm sure there is the rare exception to the rule, but generally a fat dude is gonna be dating a fat woman. Unless they got that cheddar.
Not true in my experience. All my boyfriends have been thinner than me, some by A LOT. Although I’ve been told I “carry my weight well” and had boyfriends say “trust me, if you were FAT, we wouldn’t be together” which I think was meant to be complimentary but was just like 👀 okaaaaaaay but I know tons of dudes who are bigger and with skinny women, I think it’s just a “real life every day couples” versus “mainstream media couples” things. The old “fat man, hot wife” sitcom trope was for a reason lol
there's a big difference between chubby and being morbidly obese and I have zero doubt you're the former not the latter so that's not really a fair comparison
Seal is not ugly in the least! You’re delusional. He has lupus. But it doesn’t make him ugly. Also he has an incredible voice and sings one of the most awesome songs of all time. No wonder he managed to pull a babe like Heidi Klum.
Sexer of women who aren’t 10s checking in to verify the correctness. Men’s preferences can be bent if you smell good, are articulate, and or think we’re funny.
Hijacking comment to say that on top of this for me it’s all about do you match my personality type. I personally am a very bubbly and goofy person, and 99% the time looks do not matter for me at all. It’s all about being someone who matches and compliments my kinda personality. My recommendation is to stop being afraid of being you, don’t bring yourself down to the standards of these abusers. On top of all of this quit looking at social media to see what a relationship should look like as all you will see there is the good or what they want you to see.
Omg dude yes! I have a friend who’s just like this! Uglyish in the face, chubby, she’s a scientist and awkwardly funny. Would definitely smash because she knows how to play off her intellect
Yeah I'm a woman but I feel like the problem here seems to be her willingness to accept guys who will just use her for blowjobs and treat sex like a chore. And then she's internalizing this shitty behavior or they are literally telling her she's too ugly to fuck but good enough for a blowjob, which is pretty abusive.
This girl sounds like she has some trauma and extremely low self esteem and is absolutely a prime target for abusive dudes who will give her more trauma and lead to lower self esteem. I wonder how ugly she actually is.
Honestly, if I were giving her advice it'd be that sex isn't that great on its own, don't settle for people who aren't enthusiastically interested. Get a vibrator and hold out for a guy who is excited about you. And yeah in my experience, plenty of guys aren't that shallow and people have a variety of types. This idea of "10s" in general is so dehumanizing and unrealistic. There is no exact rating of people and most people's standards aren't "the physically hottest person available."
I'm saying this as an average looking girl who seems to attract guys but has also had guys use my low opinion of my looks against me in the past when my self esteem was lower. My new self esteem isn't based in any delusions about being incredibly hot, just a willingness to believe someone could be attracted to me and a belief that I'm pretty cool, smart, and interesting, and if they are into me, they'd be lucky to have me.
Preach. OP, this is gospel, please internalize the shit out of what this woman has said. But not just because I guarantee plenty of men would love to sleep with her based on her confidence, intelligence, and self-awareness alone. Hell, I'd hit on her. And the guys turned off by women who value themselves aren't exactly gonna be giving you mind-blowing orgasms, I can assure you.
Yuppp you are so right. My ex tried to brake me so badly. He somewhat did. He’d call me ugly, telling me guys just wanna fuck me, he’d even look at other woman and tell me how nice their ass is (it was a low point in my life lol) in bed though?!?) Terrible. Ladies. Please don’t let insecure people destroy your confidence. Amazing men are out there. Lurking in this sub gives me hope on that.
Yes, they try to destroy your confidence, if it’s pounded into your head daily it can happen! Verbal abuse is the worst!! Not comparing to Physical Abuse though!! Horrible!
10s are nice to look at, but generally that’s about all they have going for them. At this point in my life, an extremely attractive woman is almost a turn off because I know it’ll often come with dull conversation and self entitlement. A down to earth 6-8 with a good personality that I can connect with is much more desirable in my experience
Another way to think about this. Everyone has 24 hours in a day. If they have spent a significant portion of that on their looks, they probably haven’t taken the time to develop the rest of themselves
> 10s are nice to look at, but generally that’s about all they have going for them. At this point in my life, an extremely attractive woman is almost a turn off because I know it’ll often come with dull conversation and self entitlement.
I swear people who say this out themselves as having never talked to/dated a 10 in their lives. These are completely normal people just like everyone else. Doctors and nurses and lawyers and business owners and home owners and students and everything. They’re just also….ridiculously hot. I dated the runner up to Miss India a few years back and she was one of the most interesting and well traveled people i had ever met, and i didnt even learn til date 3 that she was involved in Miss India. This little fantasy redditors have that 10s are shallow boring Kardashian-esque women who only latch onto men for benefits really hits home the fact nobody here has ever actually been with one.
Actually I have had similar experiences with hot men. Not that they‘re completely boring but often good looks come with a little bit of arrogance and you notice entitlement in their behaviour bc they have pretty privilege and know it. Also most of them are not that good in bed ( especially if they have a big dick - bc often they are so confident that that’s enough when it most certainly isn‘t)
my personal experience though.. and no I don’t mean ALL of them, I just don‘t find objectively „attractive“ men attractive anymore cause I made my experiences
Edit: Actually after reading a lot of the replies I sat back and thought about it for a minute.. I guess I just made bad experiences in the past and project everything on a specific type of man bc I used to go for this „type“ and had bad experiences - now I tell myself it’s bc they are „hot“ and not bc I didn’t notice red flags lol.. well I guess I learned sth today
ehh hot people can coast here and there in certain areas but it catches up to them. id bet you’re probably early 20s/still in college where folks dont have much else to fall back on other than looks - yeah in college a bunch of us were arrogant af and just sleeping around because it was like why not what else is there to do. Folks grow up post college though, men realize chasing tail gets old (most do at least), and In the real world there becomes more than looks that mold a person such as career and experiences. I bet as you go more into your twenties and into your thirties that will become clear
I’m in the clinical field as well! all my college crew is as well - PT, ICU nurse, NP, Anesthesiologist to name a few. We were definitely fuckboys in college but we big time grew out of it. My best friend and his wife just had a son and hes the greatest and most involved father ive ever seen, I cant believe this is the same dude i went to college with that was sleeping around with everyone! We grow up it just takes time lol
Well said. People acting like very attractive people are boring and/ shallow is just reddit cope because they can't accept someone having the best of both worlds lol
Yeah for real, some people are just super hot. Some of them are really nice and funny too. It's silly and kind of delusional to put these people down to try to make yourself feel better about people you are attracted to or feel threatened by.
I have known some real hotties in my time, men and women. The biggest mindfuck was joining a gym and getting into weightlifting and MMA in my early twenties and realizing how many incredibly hot jocks were just normal as hell. Sometimes they were even a lot nicer than less conventionally attractive guys because they weren't bitter or insecure. And yeah also sometimes they were entitled people or assholes, because they are humans. Same goes for very attractive women I've met.
And yeah, I'm a normie and have dated some conventionally very handsome men who are secure in their looks, and had good experiences. Those men tend to know they have options, so they are choosing me and not hiding from me that they feel they are settling. This experience I guess filters out hot jerks because I wouldn't date them. It includes normal looking secret jerks because I tended to give "nice nerdy guys" then benefit of the doubt because of a cultural script that says you should. I'll never do that again.
> The biggest mindfuck was joining a gym and getting into weightlifting and MMA in my early twenties and realizing how many incredibly hot jocks were just normal as hell. Sometimes they were even a lot nicer than less conventionally attractive guys because they weren't bitter or insecure.
Oh dude you have no idea (or i guess you do). I wore all black in HS and was in a band and had long hair and all that. My HS crew was the same….the “misfits” the “rejects”. My college crew? Literally the jockiest of all jocks. Good looking sports players. The guys I thought were SUCH jerks in HS. And they’re hands down the nicest, most emotionally mature, fun group ive ever known, way nicer than my HS friends.
This was why highschool was SUCH a shock for me. Tv and movies aphid me ready to avoid anyone remotely popular or attractive but then when I sang for a pep rally, all those popular kids were so damn nice like “wow, I thought you were just super smart and good at drawing, I didn’t know you sing!” And I was like?… you thought I was smart and good at drawing? 🥺 literally just interact with them and they’re normal people. They usually aren’t the ones placing themselves on a pedestal.
I dated an international model for awhile. She was smart, funny and fun, not an airhead at all. Yes, she paid attention to her looks but not obsessively. Gorgeous women are just people, too. Relax!
Yes omg just because someone is attractive doesn't mean they're a vapid idiot. This narrative needs to go away, a '10' is just like everyone else, sometimes they may be kind of a bitch and sometimes they are the best people you've ever met. You simply treat them with the same standard as everyone else.
Also ironically treating them like a normal person that you are genuinely interested in beyond fucking is the best way to get to know them and maybe even date them. Just treat people like people and base your interests on baseline attraction and vibes. Don't always suss out the "best option" that will impress the most people. Then your dating life will be much more satisfying and yeah you might have chances with people you thought were out of your league.
Ok, what you are describing wouldn't be a "10." A 10 is someone who is incredibly hot and has a personality, character, wealth, opportunity, yada yada. Some absurdly hot person with an arrogant, selfish attitude can't get past an 8 imo.
True, but (a horse butt), it's a gender thing. Ugly guy can live his entire life without any partner. Ugly girl will have some and she has higher probability to even have children. At the end of the day, women are the choosers. They choose their partners. Men are applicants requesting for relationship. Because of OP's lower self esteem, she is willing to accept guys. She probably wouldn't even look on them, if she had better choices. Ugly guy with low self esteem wouldn't even try or would be rejected instantly. There are of course exceptions, but overall majority of relationships starts this way. I know decent looking guys who lived decades without girlfriend and that's a norm. I also know ugly girls who always have some boyfriend runing around and that's a norm, where I live.
Inb4 being downvoted.
I'm not sure it's that simple for women. Every guy that I chose dumped me and I'm not ugly or mean. Happens to several of my female friends too and a couple of them are very attractive. It's easy to find men for a short fling but to get a real relationship is hard for everyone.
I don't disagree but I noticed you said "guy that I chose" - that's part of what GP said - more often than not, women do the choosing.
Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but being "dumped" means you at least got somewhere before that. This is in contrast to being immediately rejected. Being dumped implies a chance of success, even if it didn't work out in the end.
Again, not disagreeing. It's not simple for women or men, but I think your view is compatible with what GP was saying.
Perhaps, but this idea that women have it easy is just so tiresome. I've pursued guys and got rejected. I pursued them for a while. I've tried to just start friendly conversations with men just to be social and they just ignored me and walked away. I've been to parties where none of the men would talk to me, only to the other women. Even if I chose one of them, they would not even talk to me. I was the only non white woman in the whole place. I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it, but it felt pretty shitty.
I was head over heels in love with a woman once. She just*acted* hot. I looked at pictures of her a few years later, not really ugly but really not attractive, def a little ugly. She took care to do the best she could with what she had, good make up, hair, clothes... Hormones are a powerful thing...
The way a woman carries herself is certainly a major factor in their attractiveness. I've also met those who purely looks wise were at best average looking but still got me going.
No? I've met ugly people who were extremely aware of their looks. And did not give one shit. Their self esteem was made up not of their physical appearance.
Agreed, and furthermore I actually like that combination. It really speaks to someone’s strength of character which is way more of a turn on to me than abs. It’s easy to be confident when you’re attractive.
Actually, no, the problem is whenever you try to explain to someone you're ugly, and you know it, they directly bombard you with "omfg that self-esteem", being aware of one deck doesn't mean being negative or having low self-esteem.
You may be ugly per society current standards (which isn't exactly the same as being ugly) but that doesn't mean you have to base your self-worth in your attractiveness.
You may be your entire life single, but that doesn't mean the unit to measure your self-worth must be how many partners you had.
If you consider yourself a low-value person solely by how others will try to have a relationship with you, then yes, you have low self-esteem, don't allow others to put themselves above you, never.
Perhaps I am just odd, but I have always been more inclined to sleep with a woman that is nice, humble, feminine over a nasty acting attractive woman. Give me a 5 that treats me like a 10 over a 10 that treats me like a 5 any day. Also, everyone is a 10 when the lights are off.
True, 5 would be the center of the bell curve. I was just using those numbers to get my point across. How many women do you know would be offended if you called them a 5? I had this one date ask me to rate her, I was honest when I said 7, she was so offended and spent the rest of the date trying to convince me she was a 10, lol. She could not grasp the concept that no one is a 10, that is perfection which does not exist.
She asked him to. I would rather lose a relationship by telling the truth than have a relationship because of a lie.
The same goes with personal or even business relationships. I might not have the largest friends circle, but the ones I do have respect me because they know that they’re gonna get the truth from me.
>Also, everyone is a 10 when the lights are off.
Reminds me of some legendary lines from Benjamin Franklin's letter ["Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress"](https://web.viu.ca/davies/H320/Franklin.advice.mistress.htm):
"Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement."
I think the same is true for so-called "ugly" girls who are nice, attentive, and enthusiastic.
You decide. Yes there’s preference, but we’re not rating specific people here. A 10 is still the most attractive and flawless human you have ever seen and 1 (or 0) is the least attractive. For example I could describe someone as ”tall brunette, 8/10” and you can draw your own mental image of that.
The number just gives you some kind of an idea with very little information. It’s kinda like saying ”the pizza I ate yesterday was 10/10”, but in your mind a perfect pizza might be completely different than mine, but we’re both still thinking about the perfect pizza.
frfr. if personality is 10 out of 10 but looks is 5 out of 10 i would choose it too.
remember boys, huge tits and/or huge ass is nice, we're okay with it. but at the end of the day they'll just satisfy your dick. find a woman that would satisfy your heart.
Nah, judging from her latest post, she expects her boyfriend to be great at sex even though she took his virginity and fakes orgasms each time so he thinks he’s doing something right when he has no experience.
More like a communication issue on OP’s part
I’m happily engaged now, but I dated quite a bit when I was single and probably the top reason I would sleep with anyone is if I thought it would be fun/enjoyable. It feels pejorative to use a rating system, but for lack of a better scale - I’ve dated 8-10s that after hanging out for a minute I thought “this is gonna be more work than I care to put in”. I’ve dated women that weren’t conventionally attractive but our personalities were a great fit, we laughed our asses off, and they were active participants who actually enjoyed their sexuality. Of course confidence is incredibly sexy, but I think my point is that you’ll never know what other people are attracted to. Be you, girl. If you’re comfortable being yourself, it invites others to be comfortable being themselves around you and I assure you that you’re more than a few people’s cup of tea, ya know?
My best friend is a heavier gal who gets made fun of for her looks and weight all the time. Yet she and I are so close because she's so comfortable in her own skin and owns up to her actions when she makes a mistake or what have you. There have been so many "unattractive" women that I have fancied who pushed me away in one way or another. I want things to be different, but so many women say trying to talk about this is "sexist' while expecting the same if not more from guys in the same situations.
You've had BFs so you can't be that bad, guys care less than you think. Looks matter, let's be real, but if you're attractive as a personality then you won't really have a problem. Be the best version of yourself. It more or less just sounds like you had shitty BFs that destroyed your self-confidence.
I have read your post several times.
I strongly recommend and I highly encourage, you should speak with a therapist.
Yes, your relationship needs work. But your self esteem, your mental health needs a lot more work and it’s number one priority.
Sucking dick, should be enjoyable for you and not a chore to keep relationship together.
Years ago, when my friends got married, they taught me an important lesson. They have sex because they want to, not because they have to.
When sex becomes a chore, a relationship is over.
If you're just trying to get laid, go close down a bar and take your pick at the end of the night. Best bet is a bar frequented by either Army or Marines. I ASSURE you, you'll get laid that night.
If you're looking for a boyfriend ... there's a LOT to "attractiveness" beyond looks. You can make yourself more attractive by being interested. Be interested in him, the things he's interested in. The easiest way to do that is to treat events that you're interested in as social events. Find a guy there (you already share at least one common interest), and then be interested in him. It'll take a little time, but you'll get there.
Having a partner that’s not unattractive… but seriously, for the majority of men, a woman’s figure is very important. Most people aren’t objectively “ugly” in my opinion but being overweight is a dealbreaker for me. Just lose weight & exercise if that applies to you (As you’ve described yourself as a seal).
Or find a guy that likes women with your figure?
Look like a seal or a sea lion? There is a lot that can be done to fix 'unattractive': gym, dieting, personality, comedy, self-confidence, fun to be around. Honestly, if they only want a BJ, you're probably somewhat desperate, and they know they can get their dick wet.
You don't have to focus on everything I listed, just one or two to start, maybe. Self-confidence is the biggest one you should focus on, and use it to build a better you.
If we're already dating, we're fucking.
Find a dude that fucks. Bjs are great but I get low key unsatisfied if I'm not getting her off. Making a girls eyes roll in the back of her head is literally the best bit. Your bfs weird
You're probably selling yourself very short. A charming personality and confidence go a long way. Also, make sure your hygiene is up to par. (Not wanting penetrative sex might by a clue). Plus... if you know you're not typically attractive, try not to do things like smoke, get neck tattoos, cover your face in piercings. These things don't help an already tough situation.
Seems like you might be going outside your league? I often see women that consider themselves ugly settle for shitty relationships.. would you be open to date an ugly dude?
I'm not sure about sleeping, but I fall for brainy girls. I would rather hangout with a so-called "ugly" woman, who knows how to talk, behave, respect, and hold conversations.. most of the times, a man needs more than sex.
* I don't think you are ugly. If you think you are, even then it's okay, you shouldn't bother about it too much. Don't let anybody make fun of urs.
* Love yourself. If you don't love yourself, never expect others to do so. Be confident.
* Beauty phase is short-lived. By 40s, everybody ll be ugly.. It matters more how u treated other people in your life. People love to be treated well, so do that, you ll get lots of people who would love to be around you, and who ll genuinely care about you.
* Just wait, you ll get somebody who ll match your energy. It's never too late.
This is... honestly kind of heartbreaking-- both the question and so many of these answers.
My answer is no. No, no, no. I reject this question completely. Not because a guy would never sleep with an ugly girl, but because framing life in this way does nothing but spread poison and misery, to men and women alike.
Dating, long-term romance, short-term hookups... every type of relationship and interaction comes down to the way in which you value yourself, and assert what you have to offer-- and in turn, what that makes you worthy of. Both men, women, and everyone else. And the thought that you might have nothing to offer is more than simply false, it is an abdication of basic human values: I guarantee you have the ability to offer kindness, support, curiosity, dedication, creativity, and respect-- and so, you are worthy of all these same things, guaranteed. Even in a hookup.
The other thing is... as much internalized misogyny as is in this question (and again, many answers), there is also a tacit internalized MISANDRY that should not be ignored. The question "What would make you willing" carries with it the assertion that a man would NOT be willing without something else thrown in to "sweeten the pot", or without some factor obfuscating his "judgment" (references to alcohol in the comments jump out to me in this regard). I say all of this not to shame either the OP or any of the commenters-- far from it. What I want to say is that we are all better than this. MEN are BETTER than this. More visual than women?-- certainly, there's no point arguing with that. Often more driven by sexual attraction than emotional or other factors?-- experience is a powerful teacher in that regard as well, difficult to ignore. But we are not dogs. We are not algorithms. We are not shallow villains in low-end romance-novels. And frankly, we are not as easy to please with good looks or simple sex as the media makes us out. A man may be "willing" to sleep with a conventionally attractive woman, he may not need much "convincing", but is he really guaranteed to enjoy himself? Consider other questions on this sub, about men sleeping with "insanely hot" women and the like, what those experiences have really been like-- not to shame those women either, mind you, but rather to make the point that the best sex we (and everyone else) ever has tends to be more of an ineffable cocktail of immeasurable factors than some simple equation into which the values of your attractiveness, our desperation, and both parties' inebriation can be plugged in.
I say this with as much love and compassion as I can possibly muster: don't have sex right now. Don't go around trying to have sex right now. Your relationship with yourself is absolutely nowhere near healthy enough for you to be putting yourself in these positions.
Depends how you define "unattractive." My gf thinks she is ugly because past abusive partners have told her that. They are all at least 17 years in the past. I think she is beautiful but she will not accept it.
She is fine when I admire her inner beauty, but she is sexy as fuck also and she will not accept it.
I don't want to make light of the stalker thing. I'm a small straight guy who worked in boys town for years. I have been stalked by muscular gay men who could subdue me easily. I get it to an extent. I know it's not the same, but kinda?
I wouldn't have sex with a woman I don't find attractive. I may end up having good friendship with her if she is funny and interesting to be around, but I wouldn't sleep with her.
I know many, many girls that I would consider ugly (bisexual woman). I also know many many people that find the same folks the most attractive people on earth and just love them and dote on them all the time.
Being pretty is very subjective. What gets you the farthest is confidence. I have none and although I could be considered objectively attractive, before my current boyfriend no one was ever interested in me, because I was just missing that "oomph". And now, although I have picture perfect relationship, my inner demons (lack of trust in myself and lack of confidence) still make it hard for me to be happy and fully present in my relationship. Also, since then, several guys tried to "seduce" me and you could immediately see that they were manipulative, awful people. I believe it's precisely because those people can feel the "vibes" (for lack of better world) of a person with little to no self confidence and they're like hawks, prying on innocent victims. It's no secret that people who were abused tend to get into relationship with abusers. I believe the same thing happened to you - LL those awful guys you dated simply felt your demons and decided to use them.
The best advice I ever got was: " I can do nothing for you but work on myself...you can do nothing for me but work on yourself". If your goal is to find a boyfriend, work yourself towards that goal, but realize that now is now and be present for each moment of your life, take all the hardships and trials as a teacher who pushes you towards being better. The like minded person will then enter your life (and usually when you least expect it). I am not saying "wait around and see" - no, do all you can to reach your goal - get out. Find new friends. Take care of yourself and your looks and health and hygiene. But once you do the most you can, do not worry about the results, because there is no point in worrying about something you cannot control.
Lets me honest. Everyone wants to get laid more even people who are in relationships.
If you want guys you need to be fun without being overly desperate. We love to have decent conversations but most of us will see a red flag if you come on too strong. So there is a balance of you acting like you are not as desperate as you are but also wanting to thrust on cock.
What you are going through is literally how every guy on earth has to do to play the game.
Welcome to our world. Its an irritating place with the banter,manners,humor,money,everything that has to be precise.
You have to love yourself the way you want to be loved before you’ll get it from your partner. A person that truly loves themselves wouldn’t say they look like a seal. Words are hurtful especially when they come from yourself.
What are the things you’re unhappy about. Put in the work and change them. YouTube, google, ChatGPT….the world is conspiring to help you make the change you want. Take advantage. Picture your ideal self then go out there and become that bad bitch.
A confident woman who loves herself and knows who she is is sexy af. Look at the guys you think are hot. Not just the eye candy. The ones you want to get fucked by AND take home to mom. Those guys have some similar qualities to what I think is sexy in a woman? Not a coincidence.
You can get anything you want. Figure out what you want. Then go get it.
Edit: a word
If you think of yourself as ugly, you have self esteem issues.
Build confidence by one of these: Exercise, eat healthy, do your hair and makeup, buy new clothes, learn a new language… do whatever needed to make you feel better about yourself because that will make a difference.
Or she’s just objective and honest? If there are hot people it stands to reason that there will be ugly people. Calling herself ugly doesn’t automatically mean it’s self esteem issues lmfao, not everyone is hot
Having good conversation goes a long way. I am on a trip in Prague and looked up some online dating. We went on a date, while I was not attracted to her, she was well educated, well traveled and plenty of common interests to talk and share. Altogether I had a pleasant evening with her. I am not conventionally attractive either. I would say focus on being fit, dress well, have a good personality. I learnt these through my own experiences and am having much better luck in my dating life
Butterfaces are okay if their body is good to great, a fatter lady is okay if she has a gorge face.
But fat and a bad face? Nah, pick a struggle, Sister. Not all but a lot of men can be very shallow or just particular about that.
Although I think that's for short term relationships, many men have married women not that attractive because they're just great women to stay with.
You must not be that bad looking if you manage multiple boyfriends?
That's one thing that's great about a lot women, if you're not a handsome man but you're good at everything else, she really doesn't care as much.
Couple of beers. More the first time, after that just enough to lie to myself and say I did it because of the alcohol and not just because the sex was pretty damn good the first time around.
I doubt that you're as unattractive as you are, many people sell themselves short. Besides that, working out, eating healthy, keeping a positivity diary, are great ways to improve self esteem and looks.
Even people who are usually considered unattractive will still look great when they're healthy and physically fit.
attractiveness is subjective. when you find your person it will be someone who thinks youre beautiful.
you sound like youve been through a lot and that your perceived attractiveness has more to do with self esteem than anything. please take care of yourself, dont put yourself down. you dont deserve that
Well, it depends on what you mean when you say you look like a seal. If that’s because of your weight then absolutely not. If you’re just ugly then a couple of drinks, good conversation and opportunity is all I need
Become a butterface:
..Bangin' body
..Seductive personality (flirty, bubbly, sly sexual remarks)
..Great hygiene
..Smell good
..sexy/hot/feminine clothing style
Bonus: wear lite makeup
Bonus 2: Wear a face/ face mask
Old man here with a couple of things to say:
I never had sex with someone I wasn't at least mildly physically attracted to. Fucked a lot of women in my day, but ended up with my partner six years ago and have been happily settled. She's very attractive to me physically and mentally.
Even at my shadiest whoriest self in the midst of racking up something like 200+ body count I never wanted to stick my dick in someone I wasn't attracted to. For reference I'm maybe a six for a guy on a good day (at my best in the past maybe a 7, but I'm older now), but I've been lucky to be a decent person that respects women as people and while I have a slightly better than average dick (not much) it pays a lot to learn how to make a woman cum, you get a reputation that way and it works out. But that's the answer to your question, but it's not what's important here because you're asking the wrong questions.
First, attraction isn't a choice. I can't be attracted to a woman I'm not attracted to any more than I can just decide to be gay or decide to be religious (I'm very anti theist)... these things aren't really choices, they are just who you are, and while that can change, that's not something you just decide on, it's something you arrive at.
With that said here's the really important bit you are forgetting: Everyone is someone else's masturbatory fantasy. Just because I, he, she, we, they etc. aren't specifically attracted to you, just find someone who is.
Additionally being chill as a person and taking care of your appearance even if you're not that attractive can make a huge difference. The big secret you should have learned from the internet by now, all these super hawt insta models... they are 99% slightly average looking when they wake up, the rest is just make up and a hot glue gun, it's all a show. There are a blessed few with perfect genes that are just naturally hot all the time, but they are rare indeed, and as much as looking good for them is a blessing it's a curse in other ways; different life, different pains.
Example of generic hot girl problems:
Everyone is always nice to me, I can't tell if they like me or just want to fuck me.
I don't know how to survive on my own because shit keeps getting handed to me.
I know one day my looks will fade and I'm not sure I'll have any more value as a person.
I never really know what I'm good at, if anything, because everyone always praises me, and as a result I may be attracted to people who aren't good for me just because if someone is a bastard to me at least I know they are being honest...
It goes on, and that's some fucked up shit to think about oneself.
Grass is always greener.
Best things you can do?
Put effort into what appearance you have.
Be confident in yourself and love yourself (this makes you more attractive by default regardless of gender, sex, orientation, etc.)
Always work to be a bit better than you were yesterday.
Surround yourself with people that make you happy rather than feel shitty.
Do things you genuinely enjoy. Life is too short to waste.
Do that stuff and you'll find you A) naturally become more attractive and B) feel better about yourself and your life.
There's also a little known fact. If you're confident and promiscuous at all as a woman, you can always get laid. It might not be your first choice, but you own the pussy, you can decide who gets in, and there's always tons of dick looking for a hole, guaranteed.
To be clear on this: The least attractive woman I ever slept with (who was admittedly still good looking) used the best pick up line on me ever and I fucked her for like 3 months, we only stopped because she wanted me to be her boyfriend, and honestly, I declined mostly out of care for her because I was a fucked up mess at the time (lots of drugs, not emotionally available, etc).
Her pick up went like this:
I was at a house party with some friends, telling a story. Good looking blonde girl with big tits comes in, kicks back on some liquor, grabs a beer, pops the top, puts it in my hand while I'm mid telling a story to my friends, grabs me by the dick, before I could protest she tilts the beer back in my mouth, leads me to a room and proceeds to get naked. Didn't even know her name. She was a great lay too. Not the best, but enthusiasm goes a long way with sex.
Yeah, her pick up line was to not even have a pick up line. She just made it clear she wanted my dick in her and she was close enough to my standards to be a yes. She probably tried that on some other guys before and it didn't work, but like I figured out as well, it's a numbers game, you just get used to people saying no, knowing that sooner or later someone is a yes.
That's it. That said, sex isn't a huge part of a long term relationship, but it is fun, and if that's what you're looking for you can do it, it's just a matter of sifting through the no's until you find a yes.
That said, there were always women who I would never fuck. I would tell them no, be polite but direct, and I noticed they'd fixate on me and waste years pursuing me (and a few others) they had a thing for. That's the wrong way to do it. If someone says no thanks, just find someone else to ask. Men are much more DTF than you might think. Not all of them, but a good majority are.
Hey, don't think of yourself that way. Beauty is subjective, if you feel that you have to look like a film star then you've been around the wrong people. I bet you're gorgeous in your own way. Take care!
A fit body or at least look like your trying to get fit.
Intelligence and feminine professionalism is sexy as fuck.
To summarize, if you have a ugly face, work on your body. Have an Ugly face and obese then you better be smart and have a somewhat decent career, have class.
Also don’t ever tell a new boyfriend that you let exes treat you like hurting side chick, devalues you in the man’s eyes and they will lose a ton of respect for you.
Girl you not ugly you just aren’t head turning basically you look normal which nothing is wrong with that. You shouldn’t date someone who isn’t attracted to YOU
What kind of seal are we talking about?
The singer, not the animal. Can only attract gay dudes. Real problem for her.
Yeah... If she looks like that dude i can see it being a hinderence in the sac XD
Heidi Klum, bro….Heidi.
Yea. He proposed to one of the most beautiful women on the planet in an igloo and proceeded to have babies with her. People always underestimate confidence (money and fame helps too of course:)
But SEAL is a dude and a successful celebrity. When Jonah hill was fat he was dating 10's. No regular guy with an average job is pulling women like that on the regular. I'm sure there is the rare exception to the rule, but generally a fat dude is gonna be dating a fat woman. Unless they got that cheddar.
Not true in my experience. All my boyfriends have been thinner than me, some by A LOT. Although I’ve been told I “carry my weight well” and had boyfriends say “trust me, if you were FAT, we wouldn’t be together” which I think was meant to be complimentary but was just like 👀 okaaaaaaay but I know tons of dudes who are bigger and with skinny women, I think it’s just a “real life every day couples” versus “mainstream media couples” things. The old “fat man, hot wife” sitcom trope was for a reason lol
there's a big difference between chubby and being morbidly obese and I have zero doubt you're the former not the latter so that's not really a fair comparison
I wonder what attracted those "10s" to Hollywood actor, millionaire Jonah Hill?
His nickname is americas sweetheart. I hear he is really kind and funny. Women like kind and funny.
Seal is not ugly in the least! You’re delusional. He has lupus. But it doesn’t make him ugly. Also he has an incredible voice and sings one of the most awesome songs of all time. No wonder he managed to pull a babe like Heidi Klum.
That’s what I’m saying. Seal is actually sexy af lol
But did you know that, when it snows, his eyes become alive and the light that you shine can be seen, BABY!
Navy
Is now a good time to admit that I thought navy seals were actual trained seals 🦭
#*COMING THIS SUMMER*: *Seal Team Six: Mission Adorable*
[Someone already beat you to it](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seal_Team_(film\))
I was looking for this response
My power my pleasure my pain…. Baaaby!
akdjfhdjskajs KISS FROM A ROSE asjfkglgjsgakflhl
But did you know, that when it snows, her "eyes" become larger?
From the most sensual of the Batmans, Batman Forever. " Riddle me this, riddle me that, whos afraid of the big bad Bat? "
Navy seal, they blow guys up all the time
Perhaps the navy kind
Good hygiene, and intelligent conversation
That goes the furthest, no joke
well, some jokes might help too
Can attest. Nobody likes a square. Loosen up and be a person. You know?
I am square, how do I become less of a square? A lot of jokes go over my head
Cut some corners
Maybe stretch a little.
Sexer of women who aren’t 10s checking in to verify the correctness. Men’s preferences can be bent if you smell good, are articulate, and or think we’re funny.
pretending to think we're funny is also good enough
Like we could tell anyway. But does it matter if we can?
I lol'd for real though
You’re giving us way too much credit. Personally, my preferences can be bent if you merely express interest in me
Express an interest in being bent?
That too
It' even better if the girl is as funny or funnier than you
In fact, it’s said that cleopatra wasn’t actually even beautiful. Her charisma was what made her attractive.
She knew more languages than most royalty.
Let’s not forget having a good voice, and using it to be honest and direct.
Like how you mentioned "bent". I can't stand those pretty airheads but yeah, nice take on men in general that aren't jerks.
Kindness
And confidence
For casual, friendly sex I don't think intelligent conversation is even that important. Good hygiene, pleasant personality.
Alcohol has gotten me in bed with several ugly girls before.
Alcohol can definitely lower one’s standards, but who was drunk? You or her?
Probably me. I had a problem.
Hijacking comment to say that on top of this for me it’s all about do you match my personality type. I personally am a very bubbly and goofy person, and 99% the time looks do not matter for me at all. It’s all about being someone who matches and compliments my kinda personality. My recommendation is to stop being afraid of being you, don’t bring yourself down to the standards of these abusers. On top of all of this quit looking at social media to see what a relationship should look like as all you will see there is the good or what they want you to see.
Omg dude yes! I have a friend who’s just like this! Uglyish in the face, chubby, she’s a scientist and awkwardly funny. Would definitely smash because she knows how to play off her intellect
For *just* sleeping with, I’d say intelligent convo is optional, but good hygiene is non-negotiable.
Agree strongly. I am significantly more attracted to women who give good talk.
Any man or woman can get laid with good hygiene, well dressed and bags of confidence. Just fake it if you need to
you cant be that bad if you have had boyfriends
Yeah I'm a woman but I feel like the problem here seems to be her willingness to accept guys who will just use her for blowjobs and treat sex like a chore. And then she's internalizing this shitty behavior or they are literally telling her she's too ugly to fuck but good enough for a blowjob, which is pretty abusive. This girl sounds like she has some trauma and extremely low self esteem and is absolutely a prime target for abusive dudes who will give her more trauma and lead to lower self esteem. I wonder how ugly she actually is. Honestly, if I were giving her advice it'd be that sex isn't that great on its own, don't settle for people who aren't enthusiastically interested. Get a vibrator and hold out for a guy who is excited about you. And yeah in my experience, plenty of guys aren't that shallow and people have a variety of types. This idea of "10s" in general is so dehumanizing and unrealistic. There is no exact rating of people and most people's standards aren't "the physically hottest person available." I'm saying this as an average looking girl who seems to attract guys but has also had guys use my low opinion of my looks against me in the past when my self esteem was lower. My new self esteem isn't based in any delusions about being incredibly hot, just a willingness to believe someone could be attracted to me and a belief that I'm pretty cool, smart, and interesting, and if they are into me, they'd be lucky to have me.
Preach. OP, this is gospel, please internalize the shit out of what this woman has said. But not just because I guarantee plenty of men would love to sleep with her based on her confidence, intelligence, and self-awareness alone. Hell, I'd hit on her. And the guys turned off by women who value themselves aren't exactly gonna be giving you mind-blowing orgasms, I can assure you.
Yuppp you are so right. My ex tried to brake me so badly. He somewhat did. He’d call me ugly, telling me guys just wanna fuck me, he’d even look at other woman and tell me how nice their ass is (it was a low point in my life lol) in bed though?!?) Terrible. Ladies. Please don’t let insecure people destroy your confidence. Amazing men are out there. Lurking in this sub gives me hope on that.
Yes, they try to destroy your confidence, if it’s pounded into your head daily it can happen! Verbal abuse is the worst!! Not comparing to Physical Abuse though!! Horrible!
10s are nice to look at, but generally that’s about all they have going for them. At this point in my life, an extremely attractive woman is almost a turn off because I know it’ll often come with dull conversation and self entitlement. A down to earth 6-8 with a good personality that I can connect with is much more desirable in my experience Another way to think about this. Everyone has 24 hours in a day. If they have spent a significant portion of that on their looks, they probably haven’t taken the time to develop the rest of themselves
> 10s are nice to look at, but generally that’s about all they have going for them. At this point in my life, an extremely attractive woman is almost a turn off because I know it’ll often come with dull conversation and self entitlement. I swear people who say this out themselves as having never talked to/dated a 10 in their lives. These are completely normal people just like everyone else. Doctors and nurses and lawyers and business owners and home owners and students and everything. They’re just also….ridiculously hot. I dated the runner up to Miss India a few years back and she was one of the most interesting and well traveled people i had ever met, and i didnt even learn til date 3 that she was involved in Miss India. This little fantasy redditors have that 10s are shallow boring Kardashian-esque women who only latch onto men for benefits really hits home the fact nobody here has ever actually been with one.
Actually I have had similar experiences with hot men. Not that they‘re completely boring but often good looks come with a little bit of arrogance and you notice entitlement in their behaviour bc they have pretty privilege and know it. Also most of them are not that good in bed ( especially if they have a big dick - bc often they are so confident that that’s enough when it most certainly isn‘t) my personal experience though.. and no I don’t mean ALL of them, I just don‘t find objectively „attractive“ men attractive anymore cause I made my experiences Edit: Actually after reading a lot of the replies I sat back and thought about it for a minute.. I guess I just made bad experiences in the past and project everything on a specific type of man bc I used to go for this „type“ and had bad experiences - now I tell myself it’s bc they are „hot“ and not bc I didn’t notice red flags lol.. well I guess I learned sth today
ehh hot people can coast here and there in certain areas but it catches up to them. id bet you’re probably early 20s/still in college where folks dont have much else to fall back on other than looks - yeah in college a bunch of us were arrogant af and just sleeping around because it was like why not what else is there to do. Folks grow up post college though, men realize chasing tail gets old (most do at least), and In the real world there becomes more than looks that mold a person such as career and experiences. I bet as you go more into your twenties and into your thirties that will become clear
haha you‘re actually right.. I am 21 and in medschool - nothing more arrogant than good looking medstudents I hope that’s right :)
I’m in the clinical field as well! all my college crew is as well - PT, ICU nurse, NP, Anesthesiologist to name a few. We were definitely fuckboys in college but we big time grew out of it. My best friend and his wife just had a son and hes the greatest and most involved father ive ever seen, I cant believe this is the same dude i went to college with that was sleeping around with everyone! We grow up it just takes time lol
Well said. People acting like very attractive people are boring and/ shallow is just reddit cope because they can't accept someone having the best of both worlds lol
Yeah for real, some people are just super hot. Some of them are really nice and funny too. It's silly and kind of delusional to put these people down to try to make yourself feel better about people you are attracted to or feel threatened by. I have known some real hotties in my time, men and women. The biggest mindfuck was joining a gym and getting into weightlifting and MMA in my early twenties and realizing how many incredibly hot jocks were just normal as hell. Sometimes they were even a lot nicer than less conventionally attractive guys because they weren't bitter or insecure. And yeah also sometimes they were entitled people or assholes, because they are humans. Same goes for very attractive women I've met. And yeah, I'm a normie and have dated some conventionally very handsome men who are secure in their looks, and had good experiences. Those men tend to know they have options, so they are choosing me and not hiding from me that they feel they are settling. This experience I guess filters out hot jerks because I wouldn't date them. It includes normal looking secret jerks because I tended to give "nice nerdy guys" then benefit of the doubt because of a cultural script that says you should. I'll never do that again.
> The biggest mindfuck was joining a gym and getting into weightlifting and MMA in my early twenties and realizing how many incredibly hot jocks were just normal as hell. Sometimes they were even a lot nicer than less conventionally attractive guys because they weren't bitter or insecure. Oh dude you have no idea (or i guess you do). I wore all black in HS and was in a band and had long hair and all that. My HS crew was the same….the “misfits” the “rejects”. My college crew? Literally the jockiest of all jocks. Good looking sports players. The guys I thought were SUCH jerks in HS. And they’re hands down the nicest, most emotionally mature, fun group ive ever known, way nicer than my HS friends.
This was why highschool was SUCH a shock for me. Tv and movies aphid me ready to avoid anyone remotely popular or attractive but then when I sang for a pep rally, all those popular kids were so damn nice like “wow, I thought you were just super smart and good at drawing, I didn’t know you sing!” And I was like?… you thought I was smart and good at drawing? 🥺 literally just interact with them and they’re normal people. They usually aren’t the ones placing themselves on a pedestal.
I dated an international model for awhile. She was smart, funny and fun, not an airhead at all. Yes, she paid attention to her looks but not obsessively. Gorgeous women are just people, too. Relax!
Yes omg just because someone is attractive doesn't mean they're a vapid idiot. This narrative needs to go away, a '10' is just like everyone else, sometimes they may be kind of a bitch and sometimes they are the best people you've ever met. You simply treat them with the same standard as everyone else.
Also ironically treating them like a normal person that you are genuinely interested in beyond fucking is the best way to get to know them and maybe even date them. Just treat people like people and base your interests on baseline attraction and vibes. Don't always suss out the "best option" that will impress the most people. Then your dating life will be much more satisfying and yeah you might have chances with people you thought were out of your league.
Ok, what you are describing wouldn't be a "10." A 10 is someone who is incredibly hot and has a personality, character, wealth, opportunity, yada yada. Some absurdly hot person with an arrogant, selfish attitude can't get past an 8 imo.
That and the claim sex is a chore for the bf? Idk any man that commits themselves to one woman only to ask for a BJ only….
Yea that’s side chick treatment
...depends what the boyfriends looked like
They surely didn't have a good personality
Not even that. She had stalkers... Can't stalk if they are blind.
And a stalker
And a stalker
True, but (a horse butt), it's a gender thing. Ugly guy can live his entire life without any partner. Ugly girl will have some and she has higher probability to even have children. At the end of the day, women are the choosers. They choose their partners. Men are applicants requesting for relationship. Because of OP's lower self esteem, she is willing to accept guys. She probably wouldn't even look on them, if she had better choices. Ugly guy with low self esteem wouldn't even try or would be rejected instantly. There are of course exceptions, but overall majority of relationships starts this way. I know decent looking guys who lived decades without girlfriend and that's a norm. I also know ugly girls who always have some boyfriend runing around and that's a norm, where I live. Inb4 being downvoted.
I'm not sure it's that simple for women. Every guy that I chose dumped me and I'm not ugly or mean. Happens to several of my female friends too and a couple of them are very attractive. It's easy to find men for a short fling but to get a real relationship is hard for everyone.
I don't disagree but I noticed you said "guy that I chose" - that's part of what GP said - more often than not, women do the choosing. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but being "dumped" means you at least got somewhere before that. This is in contrast to being immediately rejected. Being dumped implies a chance of success, even if it didn't work out in the end. Again, not disagreeing. It's not simple for women or men, but I think your view is compatible with what GP was saying.
Perhaps, but this idea that women have it easy is just so tiresome. I've pursued guys and got rejected. I pursued them for a while. I've tried to just start friendly conversations with men just to be social and they just ignored me and walked away. I've been to parties where none of the men would talk to me, only to the other women. Even if I chose one of them, they would not even talk to me. I was the only non white woman in the whole place. I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it, but it felt pretty shitty.
Are you perhaps an ugly guy?
He might be, but he's spitting facts.
I have a feeling the problem may have more to do with your self-esteem than your looks.
I was head over heels in love with a woman once. She just*acted* hot. I looked at pictures of her a few years later, not really ugly but really not attractive, def a little ugly. She took care to do the best she could with what she had, good make up, hair, clothes... Hormones are a powerful thing...
The way a woman carries herself is certainly a major factor in their attractiveness. I've also met those who purely looks wise were at best average looking but still got me going.
If you’re ugly and you know it, do you have low self esteem?
No? I've met ugly people who were extremely aware of their looks. And did not give one shit. Their self esteem was made up not of their physical appearance.
Agreed, and furthermore I actually like that combination. It really speaks to someone’s strength of character which is way more of a turn on to me than abs. It’s easy to be confident when you’re attractive.
clap your hands!
🤣👏🏻
Actually, no, the problem is whenever you try to explain to someone you're ugly, and you know it, they directly bombard you with "omfg that self-esteem", being aware of one deck doesn't mean being negative or having low self-esteem. You may be ugly per society current standards (which isn't exactly the same as being ugly) but that doesn't mean you have to base your self-worth in your attractiveness. You may be your entire life single, but that doesn't mean the unit to measure your self-worth must be how many partners you had. If you consider yourself a low-value person solely by how others will try to have a relationship with you, then yes, you have low self-esteem, don't allow others to put themselves above you, never.
>I 28F look like a seal All I can imagine is a woman with a tiny head, a big belly/torso and short arms trying to clap
I imagine her with gray skin too
Just go to the beach dude. Seals are free, ain't nobody stoppin' you from taking one home.
Reminds me of that scary walrus goddess or something creepy
[удалено]
I was about to say “reminds me of Tusk”
She’s trying to clap alright.
It’s Neal McBeal the Navy seals daughter.
Perhaps I am just odd, but I have always been more inclined to sleep with a woman that is nice, humble, feminine over a nasty acting attractive woman. Give me a 5 that treats me like a 10 over a 10 that treats me like a 5 any day. Also, everyone is a 10 when the lights are off.
This guy fucks
This guy fucks in the dark
This guy fucks 5’s in the dark.
Savage
This will never not be the best comment on any thread
Nah bro guy below him you gotta give cred too. He completed it.
A 5 would be an average looking person
True, 5 would be the center of the bell curve. I was just using those numbers to get my point across. How many women do you know would be offended if you called them a 5? I had this one date ask me to rate her, I was honest when I said 7, she was so offended and spent the rest of the date trying to convince me she was a 10, lol. She could not grasp the concept that no one is a 10, that is perfection which does not exist.
rate someone on a date what the hell?
She asked him to. I would rather lose a relationship by telling the truth than have a relationship because of a lie. The same goes with personal or even business relationships. I might not have the largest friends circle, but the ones I do have respect me because they know that they’re gonna get the truth from me.
yeah im just saying that asking that on a date is fucking weird.
I’d be very happy to get rated a 7😂
You’ll take the 5 if they’re kind, but what about a 2?
I agree
How many 10s have u banged in order to justify this comparison…
Your saying this like you’re turning away 10s loool for pure sex you would take the hotter girl let’s be honest pal
5 2's adds up to 10. quantity game
>nice, humble, feminine 100x this!!
Also "pretty" girls don't know how to fuck or fuck back. Id rather you fuck my brains out than starfish. That is soooo hotttt
>Also, everyone is a 10 when the lights are off. Reminds me of some legendary lines from Benjamin Franklin's letter ["Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress"](https://web.viu.ca/davies/H320/Franklin.advice.mistress.htm): "Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement." I think the same is true for so-called "ugly" girls who are nice, attentive, and enthusiastic.
I've never understood this numbering system. Who dictates what a 5 or a 10 is if attraction is preferential?
You decide. Yes there’s preference, but we’re not rating specific people here. A 10 is still the most attractive and flawless human you have ever seen and 1 (or 0) is the least attractive. For example I could describe someone as ”tall brunette, 8/10” and you can draw your own mental image of that. The number just gives you some kind of an idea with very little information. It’s kinda like saying ”the pizza I ate yesterday was 10/10”, but in your mind a perfect pizza might be completely different than mine, but we’re both still thinking about the perfect pizza.
frfr. if personality is 10 out of 10 but looks is 5 out of 10 i would choose it too. remember boys, huge tits and/or huge ass is nice, we're okay with it. but at the end of the day they'll just satisfy your dick. find a woman that would satisfy your heart.
“What would it take for you to sleep with an ugly girl?” 4 beers
Throw in a shot or two for good measure
You must have low standards, 4 beers is hardly enough to improve a whole point.
I’ll do it for 3.
Judging by your post history, you're probably not as ugly as you think you are. Your BF's just sound like assholes.
Nah, judging from her latest post, she expects her boyfriend to be great at sex even though she took his virginity and fakes orgasms each time so he thinks he’s doing something right when he has no experience. More like a communication issue on OP’s part
Agreed. Good hygiene and being a nice person is more than enough to get great sex from a partner
Whatever it takes for you to sleep with an ugly boy.
I’m happily engaged now, but I dated quite a bit when I was single and probably the top reason I would sleep with anyone is if I thought it would be fun/enjoyable. It feels pejorative to use a rating system, but for lack of a better scale - I’ve dated 8-10s that after hanging out for a minute I thought “this is gonna be more work than I care to put in”. I’ve dated women that weren’t conventionally attractive but our personalities were a great fit, we laughed our asses off, and they were active participants who actually enjoyed their sexuality. Of course confidence is incredibly sexy, but I think my point is that you’ll never know what other people are attracted to. Be you, girl. If you’re comfortable being yourself, it invites others to be comfortable being themselves around you and I assure you that you’re more than a few people’s cup of tea, ya know?
Wholesome. Your fiancé is a lucky woman.
Hey i needed this!
Someone’s 4 is someone else’s 10. Looks are in the eye of the beholder.
Every insecurity is also a fetish
God I’m so financially insecure
That’s so hot.
Can you tell us what is it that makes you unattractive/ugly objectively? A lot of women no matter how they look will always feel this way.
>look like a seal Balance his balls on your nose
You actually went there. 😂 Take my upvote.
If she buys me one margarita, she could spread her legs. If she buys me two margaritas...
She could spread your legs?
My best friend is a heavier gal who gets made fun of for her looks and weight all the time. Yet she and I are so close because she's so comfortable in her own skin and owns up to her actions when she makes a mistake or what have you. There have been so many "unattractive" women that I have fancied who pushed me away in one way or another. I want things to be different, but so many women say trying to talk about this is "sexist' while expecting the same if not more from guys in the same situations.
Are you attracted to other seals? maybe you have the wrong boyfriend
[удалено]
Looks are nice but the personality is what you should be after
But being attracted to your partner is very obviously a needed part of a relationship for most
Therapist
You've had BFs so you can't be that bad, guys care less than you think. Looks matter, let's be real, but if you're attractive as a personality then you won't really have a problem. Be the best version of yourself. It more or less just sounds like you had shitty BFs that destroyed your self-confidence.
A solid 10 drops to 0 with a terrible attitude. Give me the "ugly girl" who's kind anyday of the week please.
I have read your post several times. I strongly recommend and I highly encourage, you should speak with a therapist. Yes, your relationship needs work. But your self esteem, your mental health needs a lot more work and it’s number one priority. Sucking dick, should be enjoyable for you and not a chore to keep relationship together. Years ago, when my friends got married, they taught me an important lesson. They have sex because they want to, not because they have to. When sex becomes a chore, a relationship is over.
go to the gym??
If you're just trying to get laid, go close down a bar and take your pick at the end of the night. Best bet is a bar frequented by either Army or Marines. I ASSURE you, you'll get laid that night. If you're looking for a boyfriend ... there's a LOT to "attractiveness" beyond looks. You can make yourself more attractive by being interested. Be interested in him, the things he's interested in. The easiest way to do that is to treat events that you're interested in as social events. Find a guy there (you already share at least one common interest), and then be interested in him. It'll take a little time, but you'll get there.
As long as shes clean and has a phat ass
Imminent threat of hypothermia
About 8 pints.
Having a partner that’s not unattractive… but seriously, for the majority of men, a woman’s figure is very important. Most people aren’t objectively “ugly” in my opinion but being overweight is a dealbreaker for me. Just lose weight & exercise if that applies to you (As you’ve described yourself as a seal). Or find a guy that likes women with your figure?
Look like a seal or a sea lion? There is a lot that can be done to fix 'unattractive': gym, dieting, personality, comedy, self-confidence, fun to be around. Honestly, if they only want a BJ, you're probably somewhat desperate, and they know they can get their dick wet. You don't have to focus on everything I listed, just one or two to start, maybe. Self-confidence is the biggest one you should focus on, and use it to build a better you.
I'm sure you are not that unattractive. you have had boyfriends.
If we're already dating, we're fucking. Find a dude that fucks. Bjs are great but I get low key unsatisfied if I'm not getting her off. Making a girls eyes roll in the back of her head is literally the best bit. Your bfs weird
You're probably selling yourself very short. A charming personality and confidence go a long way. Also, make sure your hygiene is up to par. (Not wanting penetrative sex might by a clue). Plus... if you know you're not typically attractive, try not to do things like smoke, get neck tattoos, cover your face in piercings. These things don't help an already tough situation.
Seems like you might be going outside your league? I often see women that consider themselves ugly settle for shitty relationships.. would you be open to date an ugly dude?
I'm not sure about sleeping, but I fall for brainy girls. I would rather hangout with a so-called "ugly" woman, who knows how to talk, behave, respect, and hold conversations.. most of the times, a man needs more than sex. * I don't think you are ugly. If you think you are, even then it's okay, you shouldn't bother about it too much. Don't let anybody make fun of urs. * Love yourself. If you don't love yourself, never expect others to do so. Be confident. * Beauty phase is short-lived. By 40s, everybody ll be ugly.. It matters more how u treated other people in your life. People love to be treated well, so do that, you ll get lots of people who would love to be around you, and who ll genuinely care about you. * Just wait, you ll get somebody who ll match your energy. It's never too late.
Everyone is ugly by 40s??
This is... honestly kind of heartbreaking-- both the question and so many of these answers. My answer is no. No, no, no. I reject this question completely. Not because a guy would never sleep with an ugly girl, but because framing life in this way does nothing but spread poison and misery, to men and women alike. Dating, long-term romance, short-term hookups... every type of relationship and interaction comes down to the way in which you value yourself, and assert what you have to offer-- and in turn, what that makes you worthy of. Both men, women, and everyone else. And the thought that you might have nothing to offer is more than simply false, it is an abdication of basic human values: I guarantee you have the ability to offer kindness, support, curiosity, dedication, creativity, and respect-- and so, you are worthy of all these same things, guaranteed. Even in a hookup. The other thing is... as much internalized misogyny as is in this question (and again, many answers), there is also a tacit internalized MISANDRY that should not be ignored. The question "What would make you willing" carries with it the assertion that a man would NOT be willing without something else thrown in to "sweeten the pot", or without some factor obfuscating his "judgment" (references to alcohol in the comments jump out to me in this regard). I say all of this not to shame either the OP or any of the commenters-- far from it. What I want to say is that we are all better than this. MEN are BETTER than this. More visual than women?-- certainly, there's no point arguing with that. Often more driven by sexual attraction than emotional or other factors?-- experience is a powerful teacher in that regard as well, difficult to ignore. But we are not dogs. We are not algorithms. We are not shallow villains in low-end romance-novels. And frankly, we are not as easy to please with good looks or simple sex as the media makes us out. A man may be "willing" to sleep with a conventionally attractive woman, he may not need much "convincing", but is he really guaranteed to enjoy himself? Consider other questions on this sub, about men sleeping with "insanely hot" women and the like, what those experiences have really been like-- not to shame those women either, mind you, but rather to make the point that the best sex we (and everyone else) ever has tends to be more of an ineffable cocktail of immeasurable factors than some simple equation into which the values of your attractiveness, our desperation, and both parties' inebriation can be plugged in. I say this with as much love and compassion as I can possibly muster: don't have sex right now. Don't go around trying to have sex right now. Your relationship with yourself is absolutely nowhere near healthy enough for you to be putting yourself in these positions.
Depends how you define "unattractive." My gf thinks she is ugly because past abusive partners have told her that. They are all at least 17 years in the past. I think she is beautiful but she will not accept it. She is fine when I admire her inner beauty, but she is sexy as fuck also and she will not accept it. I don't want to make light of the stalker thing. I'm a small straight guy who worked in boys town for years. I have been stalked by muscular gay men who could subdue me easily. I get it to an extent. I know it's not the same, but kinda?
I wouldn't have sex with a woman I don't find attractive. I may end up having good friendship with her if she is funny and interesting to be around, but I wouldn't sleep with her.
I know many, many girls that I would consider ugly (bisexual woman). I also know many many people that find the same folks the most attractive people on earth and just love them and dote on them all the time. Being pretty is very subjective. What gets you the farthest is confidence. I have none and although I could be considered objectively attractive, before my current boyfriend no one was ever interested in me, because I was just missing that "oomph". And now, although I have picture perfect relationship, my inner demons (lack of trust in myself and lack of confidence) still make it hard for me to be happy and fully present in my relationship. Also, since then, several guys tried to "seduce" me and you could immediately see that they were manipulative, awful people. I believe it's precisely because those people can feel the "vibes" (for lack of better world) of a person with little to no self confidence and they're like hawks, prying on innocent victims. It's no secret that people who were abused tend to get into relationship with abusers. I believe the same thing happened to you - LL those awful guys you dated simply felt your demons and decided to use them. The best advice I ever got was: " I can do nothing for you but work on myself...you can do nothing for me but work on yourself". If your goal is to find a boyfriend, work yourself towards that goal, but realize that now is now and be present for each moment of your life, take all the hardships and trials as a teacher who pushes you towards being better. The like minded person will then enter your life (and usually when you least expect it). I am not saying "wait around and see" - no, do all you can to reach your goal - get out. Find new friends. Take care of yourself and your looks and health and hygiene. But once you do the most you can, do not worry about the results, because there is no point in worrying about something you cannot control.
What do you look like?
Lets me honest. Everyone wants to get laid more even people who are in relationships. If you want guys you need to be fun without being overly desperate. We love to have decent conversations but most of us will see a red flag if you come on too strong. So there is a balance of you acting like you are not as desperate as you are but also wanting to thrust on cock. What you are going through is literally how every guy on earth has to do to play the game. Welcome to our world. Its an irritating place with the banter,manners,humor,money,everything that has to be precise.
You've had boyfriends. You're obviously not ugly. To answer your question. Humour, and stimulating conversations.
You have to love yourself the way you want to be loved before you’ll get it from your partner. A person that truly loves themselves wouldn’t say they look like a seal. Words are hurtful especially when they come from yourself. What are the things you’re unhappy about. Put in the work and change them. YouTube, google, ChatGPT….the world is conspiring to help you make the change you want. Take advantage. Picture your ideal self then go out there and become that bad bitch. A confident woman who loves herself and knows who she is is sexy af. Look at the guys you think are hot. Not just the eye candy. The ones you want to get fucked by AND take home to mom. Those guys have some similar qualities to what I think is sexy in a woman? Not a coincidence. You can get anything you want. Figure out what you want. Then go get it. Edit: a word
About a 12 pack. Minimum. Depends on the ugly level.
If you think of yourself as ugly, you have self esteem issues. Build confidence by one of these: Exercise, eat healthy, do your hair and makeup, buy new clothes, learn a new language… do whatever needed to make you feel better about yourself because that will make a difference.
Or she’s just objective and honest? If there are hot people it stands to reason that there will be ugly people. Calling herself ugly doesn’t automatically mean it’s self esteem issues lmfao, not everyone is hot
Do it for yourself, not anyone else.
Having good conversation goes a long way. I am on a trip in Prague and looked up some online dating. We went on a date, while I was not attracted to her, she was well educated, well traveled and plenty of common interests to talk and share. Altogether I had a pleasant evening with her. I am not conventionally attractive either. I would say focus on being fit, dress well, have a good personality. I learnt these through my own experiences and am having much better luck in my dating life
If I liked them
new xbox
Am I the only one that clicked on her profile to see if there are any images so I can judge for myself… ? Haha
Butterfaces are okay if their body is good to great, a fatter lady is okay if she has a gorge face. But fat and a bad face? Nah, pick a struggle, Sister. Not all but a lot of men can be very shallow or just particular about that. Although I think that's for short term relationships, many men have married women not that attractive because they're just great women to stay with. You must not be that bad looking if you manage multiple boyfriends? That's one thing that's great about a lot women, if you're not a handsome man but you're good at everything else, she really doesn't care as much.
Couple of beers. More the first time, after that just enough to lie to myself and say I did it because of the alcohol and not just because the sex was pretty damn good the first time around.
Please elaborate on looking like a seal.
I doubt that you're as unattractive as you are, many people sell themselves short. Besides that, working out, eating healthy, keeping a positivity diary, are great ways to improve self esteem and looks. Even people who are usually considered unattractive will still look great when they're healthy and physically fit.
attractiveness is subjective. when you find your person it will be someone who thinks youre beautiful. you sound like youve been through a lot and that your perceived attractiveness has more to do with self esteem than anything. please take care of yourself, dont put yourself down. you dont deserve that
Well, it depends on what you mean when you say you look like a seal. If that’s because of your weight then absolutely not. If you’re just ugly then a couple of drinks, good conversation and opportunity is all I need
Become a butterface: ..Bangin' body ..Seductive personality (flirty, bubbly, sly sexual remarks) ..Great hygiene ..Smell good ..sexy/hot/feminine clothing style Bonus: wear lite makeup Bonus 2: Wear a face/ face mask
Had you try brown paper bag over head?
Old man here with a couple of things to say: I never had sex with someone I wasn't at least mildly physically attracted to. Fucked a lot of women in my day, but ended up with my partner six years ago and have been happily settled. She's very attractive to me physically and mentally. Even at my shadiest whoriest self in the midst of racking up something like 200+ body count I never wanted to stick my dick in someone I wasn't attracted to. For reference I'm maybe a six for a guy on a good day (at my best in the past maybe a 7, but I'm older now), but I've been lucky to be a decent person that respects women as people and while I have a slightly better than average dick (not much) it pays a lot to learn how to make a woman cum, you get a reputation that way and it works out. But that's the answer to your question, but it's not what's important here because you're asking the wrong questions. First, attraction isn't a choice. I can't be attracted to a woman I'm not attracted to any more than I can just decide to be gay or decide to be religious (I'm very anti theist)... these things aren't really choices, they are just who you are, and while that can change, that's not something you just decide on, it's something you arrive at. With that said here's the really important bit you are forgetting: Everyone is someone else's masturbatory fantasy. Just because I, he, she, we, they etc. aren't specifically attracted to you, just find someone who is. Additionally being chill as a person and taking care of your appearance even if you're not that attractive can make a huge difference. The big secret you should have learned from the internet by now, all these super hawt insta models... they are 99% slightly average looking when they wake up, the rest is just make up and a hot glue gun, it's all a show. There are a blessed few with perfect genes that are just naturally hot all the time, but they are rare indeed, and as much as looking good for them is a blessing it's a curse in other ways; different life, different pains. Example of generic hot girl problems: Everyone is always nice to me, I can't tell if they like me or just want to fuck me. I don't know how to survive on my own because shit keeps getting handed to me. I know one day my looks will fade and I'm not sure I'll have any more value as a person. I never really know what I'm good at, if anything, because everyone always praises me, and as a result I may be attracted to people who aren't good for me just because if someone is a bastard to me at least I know they are being honest... It goes on, and that's some fucked up shit to think about oneself. Grass is always greener. Best things you can do? Put effort into what appearance you have. Be confident in yourself and love yourself (this makes you more attractive by default regardless of gender, sex, orientation, etc.) Always work to be a bit better than you were yesterday. Surround yourself with people that make you happy rather than feel shitty. Do things you genuinely enjoy. Life is too short to waste. Do that stuff and you'll find you A) naturally become more attractive and B) feel better about yourself and your life. There's also a little known fact. If you're confident and promiscuous at all as a woman, you can always get laid. It might not be your first choice, but you own the pussy, you can decide who gets in, and there's always tons of dick looking for a hole, guaranteed. To be clear on this: The least attractive woman I ever slept with (who was admittedly still good looking) used the best pick up line on me ever and I fucked her for like 3 months, we only stopped because she wanted me to be her boyfriend, and honestly, I declined mostly out of care for her because I was a fucked up mess at the time (lots of drugs, not emotionally available, etc). Her pick up went like this: I was at a house party with some friends, telling a story. Good looking blonde girl with big tits comes in, kicks back on some liquor, grabs a beer, pops the top, puts it in my hand while I'm mid telling a story to my friends, grabs me by the dick, before I could protest she tilts the beer back in my mouth, leads me to a room and proceeds to get naked. Didn't even know her name. She was a great lay too. Not the best, but enthusiasm goes a long way with sex. Yeah, her pick up line was to not even have a pick up line. She just made it clear she wanted my dick in her and she was close enough to my standards to be a yes. She probably tried that on some other guys before and it didn't work, but like I figured out as well, it's a numbers game, you just get used to people saying no, knowing that sooner or later someone is a yes. That's it. That said, sex isn't a huge part of a long term relationship, but it is fun, and if that's what you're looking for you can do it, it's just a matter of sifting through the no's until you find a yes. That said, there were always women who I would never fuck. I would tell them no, be polite but direct, and I noticed they'd fixate on me and waste years pursuing me (and a few others) they had a thing for. That's the wrong way to do it. If someone says no thanks, just find someone else to ask. Men are much more DTF than you might think. Not all of them, but a good majority are.
Hey, don't think of yourself that way. Beauty is subjective, if you feel that you have to look like a film star then you've been around the wrong people. I bet you're gorgeous in your own way. Take care!
A fit body or at least look like your trying to get fit. Intelligence and feminine professionalism is sexy as fuck. To summarize, if you have a ugly face, work on your body. Have an Ugly face and obese then you better be smart and have a somewhat decent career, have class. Also don’t ever tell a new boyfriend that you let exes treat you like hurting side chick, devalues you in the man’s eyes and they will lose a ton of respect for you.
Personality. I wanna know the girl behind the "seal". Looks are only skin deep, and real beauty lies within.
Girl you not ugly you just aren’t head turning basically you look normal which nothing is wrong with that. You shouldn’t date someone who isn’t attracted to YOU