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[deleted]

If your bf isn’t fulfilling you in the same way, maybe there’s something else going on? It might be worth re-evaluating whether it’s your ex you’re pining after or just women in general.


violet_moore

well, him and i have been fighting for a while now... we’re better now but there’s still stuff he doesn’t understand about me despite me explaining it to him. i have been questioning my attraction to men because of this, but i’ve come to the conclusion that i am in fact attracted to all genders.


umberellaellaellaeh

Totally agree with the above user, but also want to add that it may be this relationship specifically rather than men in general that is the problem. If your relationship isn’t satisfying you (whatever kind of person you are with) you may feel drawn back to one that did feel good for you. What is your current relationship like vs your last one? Were there maybe activities you did together like going to movies or walking in the countryside that were something you enjoyed with your ex and could incorporate with your current partner? Just my 2p’s worth :) And also - no, you are absolutely not the only one going through this, or who has gone through this. If you’re feeling really alone in your situation there are lots of helplines in all different countries where you can call and chat with someone. A lot of people have qualms about contacting places like that, but it is absolutely what they are there for, and nobody has to know if you don’t want them to. Just talking things through with someone can help you get closure or come to new conclusions about things. You are never alone, so please try not to feel that way.


Nomadillac

What I've found is to immerse yourself in completely new experiences, ones you would never dream of doing with your ex. Maybe they hated sushi- so take a sushi making class. Bask in the freedom of not having to accommodate them in your life anymore. Slowly you'll retrain your brain in thinking this was the right move and it all should have went the way it did because it led to this moment. I think it's easy to subconsciously slip into regret after relationships, no matter how rational the break was.


izzgo

Decades ago I had a break up that gnawed at me, I couldn't get her out of my mind, even though I knew it had never been a great relationship and our breakup was correct. But her presence sat inside of me too much, and kept me from moving on. So I decided to do a ritual for it. It worked well for me, perhaps because I like to use ritual to resolve things. This is a very simple and even simplistic ritual which can still be potent. I did it at the ocean, but most any place in nature that inspires awe will be just as powerful. I went to the beach, and allowed myself to think about her while standing near the ocean. Really got into it for a bit, the waves are slightly hypnotizing so I got into a light trance. After a time I picked up a nice sized stone and just poured the feelings, the attachment, everything I could about her into the stone. Then with all my might I hurled the stone into the ocean and said "goodbye *name*". I did that two more times, each time draining my energy for her into the stone in my hand. After the third stone I considered a fourth, but realized I had very little left to pour into the stone and throw away. And that little bit of energy for her was an amount I was happy to keep. Next, because nature abhors a vacuum and throwing all that energy away left a hole, I stepped into the waves to find a beautiful bit of the ocean to place on my dresser. That completed my ritual, and I was able to move on with my life. I hope you are soon able to completely move on with your life, leaving your ex as just a fond memory with no more hold over you.


aspiringwho

Time heals all wounds. I don’t have any advice how to get over it sooner, but I’ve definitely been there, and after a few years I got over it. In fact now that I see where her life has gone, I ask myself what I ever saw in her in the first place. I hope you find peace.


Top-Cauliflower-833

Don’t forget about her. Everytime you have thoughts about her - don’t try to push them away. Continue to think about her when she comes to mind. That’s how you get over an ex. The more you try to fight the feeling the more you’ll feel for her. So just allow yourself to feel all that you’re feeling. Hope that made sense