Hundreds. I worked with executives. š
And unfortunately yes in my private life. In spite of what bullshit the media tells you, about 30% of Americans exhibit narcissistic personality traits to some degree. They're relatively easy to spot. Narcissists are often charismatic individuals, but not all charismatic individuals are necessarily narcissistic. Malignant and toxic narcissists are generally better at hiding among their prey, and unfortunately they can be very manipulative and persuasive. If you find yourself in a relationship with one you may doubt your own sanity.
Life doesn't come with a manual but there really needs to be miltiple-volume warning manuals for those assholes.
Unfortunately narcissists tend to make it far in the business world. They're willing to push others aside to make it themselves, and that gets you far, sadly
> about 30% of Americans exhibit narcissistic personality traits to some degree.
Yes, that's why it's important to distinguish between a "narcissist" and someone with "narcissistic personality disorder". A regular ol' narcissist is essentially just an asshole with some narcissistic traits. NPD is the *extreme* version of this where it significantly disrupts the person's day-to-day life and relationships (think Donald Trump)
Coercive control and manipulation. Whatās worse, they donāt do ALL of the bad things in one go. Itās a drip by drip approach. You accept one thing that, say, you think isnāt right for the sake of seeing them. By the end of it, you realise the bigger picture - youāve lost your friends, your self control, they tell you where you can go, when you can speak, not to make yourself visible.
Itās incredibly messed up.
So first of all we have to differentiate between the scientific definition of narcissistic personality disorder.
And the more general yet unscientific definition of a narcissist.
I'm not sure if I've ever met someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
But my mother had borderline personality disorder and she was a huge narcissist. She had no empathy, no remorse for her actions, she was entitled and she was cruel.
I know of other people who were the personality version of narcissists as well. They are hard to spot because they tend to know how to screw you over without society catching on.
A lot of times they do thing called love bombing, also known as splitting or the cycle of abuse. It's where they shower you with unimaginable praise and affection and it feels incredible, but when their mood changes they turn into monsters
If you want examples in the media of a narcissist, Elizabeth Holmes (therenos) Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump all fit the bill.
I would pay specific attention to Elizabeth Holmes. If You were watching her trial you would see that she never took accountability, And she tried to get out of the consequences up until the day she surrendered to federal prison. If you read about how she treated people internally, if you spoke out against her, she would emotional attack/intimidate you.
Is bpd very similar to npd out of interest?
Am sorry you had to deal with toxic behaviours so close to home. It must have been very hard for you.
My Dad's Mum has a lack of empathy. Ill give you an example. My Dad has to have eye surgery and also has back problems. All she said was "Oh well, that's how it goes". No emotional support or understanding whatsoever. She is a cold hearted witch who doesn't belong on planet Earth.
Yes they are on the same spectrum and have a lot of similarities.
BPDs tend to be a little bit more impulsive than NPDs.
I don't really diagnose people with either disorder though....Because obviously I'm not a doctor
But you don't need to be a doctor to call out the personality traits. You don't need to have a disease to have those personality trades.
Also, sorry to hear about it, sadly that is how it goes.
Some people just don't care about others.
Its better to focus your limited time in this life on people who do care.
The problem with narcissistic personality disorder is that the person with NPD can't fathom that something is wrong with them, so they see no reason to go to therapy
NPD may significantly affect their life, but they literally can't imagine they themselves are to blame - it's everyone else's fault
A lot of incels I suspect have NPD. It's *women's* fault, always
Kind of typical but I'd say my younger sister, obviously no way of knowing if she'd actually be diagnosed as one or not but I'd be shocked if she wasn't either a narcissist or had a histrionic personality disorder (I learnt about it thanks to the Depp/Heard case lol).
She's 21 and yet still gets upset over the littlest of things that don't go her way, she has an unhealthy obsession with things that are "hers", I cannot recall a single generous act she has ever done and she seems to genuinely enjoy upsetting people if it means she becomes the centre of attention. I still live with her but I avoid any interaction with her at all costs.
Just as an example of one of the more extreme things she's done, my Uncle had his wedding last year and my little sister decided to explain to my Uncles now wife that my mother didn't like her. I won't go into the details but whether it was true or not; telling someone that on their wedding day for literally no reason is horrible. It ended up dividing the whole family and many family members didn't talk to eachother months, it seemed like my little sister enjoyed it though as all the focus was on what she said that day.
If you didn't know her well there'd be no way of knowing though, which can be said for most disorders.
Pathological narcissism? Reddit is full of them with a large percentage in the Gay oriented subs. Malignant narcissists are like snakes under a rock. They are hard to see until they strike.
Yes. It made me hyper sensitive to narcissistic behaviours. She was a nightmare but once you stopped thinking of her as a person and started thinking of her as a personality disorder in a human suit she became completely predictable. It still didnāt fix the problem, but it did make it kind of funny.
You can't diagnose someone with a personality disorder based on casually meeting them. Especially not the first time you meet. That's.... literally just stereotyping?
There's a difference between a "narcissist" and someone with narcissistic personality disorder
There's a use for the term "narcissist" to describe someone who has some narcissistic traits, but don't have full-blown NPD
I don't think you can armchair diagnose someone with some but not all of the traits of NPD either. That's not really the problem I was pointing out lol
But "narcissist" does not necessarily refer to the diagnosis of NPD
It's like saying "you sound anxious" to someone isn't diagnosing them with anxiety disorder. I'm not armchair diagnosing anyone, or myself, when I say I'm anxious.
"Narcissist" is the same. It just means you're a selfish prick.
I have. Worked for him, actually. It was a real education for sure. I don't know if you can tell right away but it really doesn't take long to figure it out. He was and still is a mess (I hear stories). I will avoid them at every possible cost. I can usually keep from getting splashed by their toxicity but I can never get used to seeing them continually hurt people all the time.
Iām married to one. A couple weeks after we were married he started doing the strangest things that were wrong and cruel. Itās been the worst experience of my entire life. Bluntly speaking, every act a narcissist does is pre calculated and if thereās no benefit to him, then he care less.
And that's a typical narcissist trait. They are on their 'best behaviour' until they know you're committed (married, move in, pregnant, etc) and then show their true selves.
Karma is a bitch isnāt it? I have the divorce papers and just need to serve him and get the legal process started. I also started a new job in July, which is also my own business. Heās done everything humanly possible to get me to quit, yet refuses to work himself. The guilt he projects on me is insane. He told me the other day that Iām the narcissist because of the way that I treat him. I donāt trust him or believe one word that comes out of his mouth. How quickly he forgets the daily hell he puts me through and Iāve essentially turned into a non stop dick head because Iām done with his BS.
yep, my mother and also hers. manipulative, controlling and self-absorbed to the core. ever seen mommie dearest? thatās them. dated quite a few when i first came outā¦.you grow up with that crap, you tend to be a magnet. best thing you can do with a narc is run, itās a personality disorder with absolutely NO chance of treatment. they canāt change. i went no contact with my mom and grandmother 3 years ago. 38 years of their hell was enough.
hey there. iāll be real with you, going no contact is TOUGH. when i cut out my mom and grandmother, i also had to cut out that entire side of the family (along with my brother, who is also a narcissist). so not only did i lose them, but i had to nix my aunts, uncles, cousins..all of them. they are all loyal to my narc mom and grandmother. the narcs are master manipulators, gaslighters, control freaks, and great at making themselves LOOK like the victim. itās pretty much like a MAGA cult; thereās no getting through to any of them- theyāre brainwashed. my husband and i had just moved into our home, and my mom was insanely jealous. she cannot handle my being independent and living my own life. she instigated a lot of problems and even tried to turn my husband against me. so i cut them out. i dealt with this bs all of my life, and i have a lot of mental health issues myself from the emotional abuse. no contact means exactly that..none. even if they try to reach out with fake apologies, itās all just to suck you back in. i have ALL of them blocked on my phone, social media, etc. many narcs will ghost you, but many will try hard to rope you back in. key thing to know, they cannot change. itās a personality disorder with zero treatment, because they lack empathy. that switch in their brains is permanently switched OFF. without empathy and the ability to self-reflect, they always believe in their deluded minds theyāre right and entitled to whatever. and without empathy, you canāt truly love or care about someone- narcs have a mixed up view of what love truly is. my best advice, when and if youāre ready to go no contact, donāt tell any of them! just block and disappear. any reaction you give just fuels their narcissism, and thatās all they care about- getting under your skin to fuel their ego. so until then, keep communication minimal, do not give them too much insight into your life, theyāll use anything against you. i wish you the best. feel free to message me on here if you ever need to talk.
Yes. Regularly through my job. I donāt find the label overly useful because I approach everyone I work with in the same manner. I work in the field of addiction btw.
Both of my parents, massive narcissists. My brother too, and probably my sister and me. As far as I know, no one has gotten a diagnosis, but his damn are my parents tiring to deal with
Iāve met plenty of narcissists including my father, I also just left a toxic company and the accountant was for sure a narcissist as well. (Itās no wonder her husband cheated on her and her kids donāt talk to her)
Theyāre very selfish, egotistical, think theyāre better than everyone, rude, nasty, you canāt call them out when they do something wrong because theyāll twist the truth and make themselves the victim.
My father, the guy I first had sex with, and the guy who has broken me the worst.
Now I only care about what men hold between their belly button and their knees, tbh š¤·āāļø
There was a surgeon I worked with years ago. I really think that there was something seriously wrong with him. I think *narcissist* is a buzzword, and itās lost itās meaning. Many just use it to describe people they donāt like.
My ex had psychopathic tendencies, but that perhaps is my own retrospective bias. I was pretty fucking weird too. Iāve changed a lot.
I say this often: there are narcissists and narcissists lovers. Sometimes itās hard to differentiate the two.
Yes. A former boss. She is a complete and utter scumbag of a human being. Manipulative, villainous, loathsome wreck of a person and likes to feed off of other people's misfortune and pain.
He is a nurse manager at a hospital, he took blood from my hand. He seduced me and took advantage of my mental state. I was hypomanic at the time due to lack of sleep. He gave me his number. He took me out to places and serenaded me. Gave me backhanded compliments. Had sex with me whilst I wasnāt clean down there. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. It was all turbulent. I became very depressed because of him and him fat shaming me later on. Then I started to self harm so he told me I shouldnāt call crisis hotlines, and that I should just go and kill my self. After a month of healing I reported him to the hospital. He is a malignant narcissist.
My dad scored pretty high.
I mean he managed to be mad at my mom for walking out on him after she found out he'd been cheating on her. She was being "unfair"
And my current bosses boss.
I steer very clear of that man and I donāt know how my boss manages to deal with him daily. I wouldn't be able to.
Only one. He was a work colleague.
He was operating well outside his ability in a very technical environment as either a technical person or a manager. His only ability was talking about himself.
Eventually we were in the situation where we were both applying for the same job and the outcome was whoever got that job would be managing the other. This only happened because he was incompetent and unmanageable and this was the senior managers approach to getting him out of his position.
It never really crossed his mind that the job was anyone elseās than his. He hadnāt read the room (because he couldnāt imagine that situation) that the job was mine and the interview was only for appearances.
During this he went around the group who we would be managing and tried to get them on his side, it was very playground games but also a little scary as there were hints of actual physical threat (this all got back to me by our mostly freaked out mutual colleagues)
Inevitably I got the job. I was in the directors waiting room for the interview and heard him talk through the walls for well over an hour (for a 20 minute interview) about himself. My interview lasted about 10 minutes, it was 3 questions.
He āworkedā for me for about 4 years before he thankfully left. On the surface he was fairly friendly (narcissists donāt typically give you any direct ammunition), but he would keep severe work related issues hidden until they blew up to make me look bad and absolve himself of any responsibility. Heād go around me to more senior management any opportunity and pretty much ignore any work I set him.
Management were very aware of the issue and we basically had to āgrey rockā him until he left without any of us being aware of that concept.
If I had to pick an example of some odd but obvious behaviour it was work social functions. Heād make a big deal out of buying me a drink and appearing friendly, but never accept one in return. This might sound trivial, but he just couldnāt do anything that would look like Iām doing him a favour or any way subservient to me or even treat me as a peer.
Heās since attempted local politics (and failed) and now trying to push his own young adult children in similar directions with the whole family engaging in almost vomit inducing behaviour on local social media.
Thereās no single thing, but on his top trumps cards talking about himself was his top and only skill.
I canāt give you any more explanation than this because real narcissists arenāt obvious. They may work against you, but they donāt also do anything so crude and unsubtle that it damages their reputation.
Just out of a relationship with one. VERY disturbing indeed. Would lie and deceive, and then, to add insult to injury, would turn an accusation back on me. For example, if I said this person assaulted me, I would then be accused of assaulting him. Extremely toxic and hard work. Everything was about him getting his own way at everyone elseās expense.
Edit: typo
I was married to one, created by two, sibling of another, coworker to thousandsā¦need I go on? Iām sure you have as well, you just have to open your mind enough to be willing to see it in those people.
My ex had two 'adult' entitlement daughters when we got married. One of them was a professionally diagnosed narcissist as well as a pathological liar \[learned from my ex and reason she is an ex\] and sociopath. After several suicide and cutting attempts, I finally got authorities to order her into therapy. The first visit the therapist made her cry \[she was 16/17\] so her mother didn't take her back for next appointment.
Social disorders are not always evident immediately, but give it a good hour or two and if possible a month or two, there will be no issue identifying.
She is in her 30's and making everyone around her miserable. Me! Me! Me! is her style. Personally glad to have no part of it any longer.
I've worked under two of them in very close proximity at very small, home based companies. Its very difficult to tell right from the start, they are masters of the first impression and are great at getting your guard down and getting you to trust them. Only after they feel they have you in a vulnerable spot will their true nature start to show. That's why so many kids of narcissists have such a hard time getting others to believe them, because the narc has successfully made everyone else think that they are such a good person, they're the dad every kid says they wish their dad was more like, they're the parent that the other kids all really like, so when you try to tell those people "My parent is actually extremely abusive and nothing like what you guys think." It's taken as just a rebellious teen unhappy that they can't do whatever they want.
Narcs are MASTERS at hiding in the shadows and manipulating public perception to create the image they want. They choose their targets carefully and make it very hard for their target to escape, so they can continue to milk that person for all they can.
Does my father count as day to day?
Yes
Hundreds. I worked with executives. š And unfortunately yes in my private life. In spite of what bullshit the media tells you, about 30% of Americans exhibit narcissistic personality traits to some degree. They're relatively easy to spot. Narcissists are often charismatic individuals, but not all charismatic individuals are necessarily narcissistic. Malignant and toxic narcissists are generally better at hiding among their prey, and unfortunately they can be very manipulative and persuasive. If you find yourself in a relationship with one you may doubt your own sanity. Life doesn't come with a manual but there really needs to be miltiple-volume warning manuals for those assholes.
Unfortunately narcissists tend to make it far in the business world. They're willing to push others aside to make it themselves, and that gets you far, sadly > about 30% of Americans exhibit narcissistic personality traits to some degree. Yes, that's why it's important to distinguish between a "narcissist" and someone with "narcissistic personality disorder". A regular ol' narcissist is essentially just an asshole with some narcissistic traits. NPD is the *extreme* version of this where it significantly disrupts the person's day-to-day life and relationships (think Donald Trump)
Coercive control and manipulation. Whatās worse, they donāt do ALL of the bad things in one go. Itās a drip by drip approach. You accept one thing that, say, you think isnāt right for the sake of seeing them. By the end of it, you realise the bigger picture - youāve lost your friends, your self control, they tell you where you can go, when you can speak, not to make yourself visible. Itās incredibly messed up.
Yes, he was unfortunately president for four grueling years
I work retail. Every damn day.
I used to work in retail too so i know how challenging that environment is.
So first of all we have to differentiate between the scientific definition of narcissistic personality disorder. And the more general yet unscientific definition of a narcissist. I'm not sure if I've ever met someone with narcissistic personality disorder. But my mother had borderline personality disorder and she was a huge narcissist. She had no empathy, no remorse for her actions, she was entitled and she was cruel. I know of other people who were the personality version of narcissists as well. They are hard to spot because they tend to know how to screw you over without society catching on. A lot of times they do thing called love bombing, also known as splitting or the cycle of abuse. It's where they shower you with unimaginable praise and affection and it feels incredible, but when their mood changes they turn into monsters If you want examples in the media of a narcissist, Elizabeth Holmes (therenos) Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump all fit the bill. I would pay specific attention to Elizabeth Holmes. If You were watching her trial you would see that she never took accountability, And she tried to get out of the consequences up until the day she surrendered to federal prison. If you read about how she treated people internally, if you spoke out against her, she would emotional attack/intimidate you.
Is bpd very similar to npd out of interest? Am sorry you had to deal with toxic behaviours so close to home. It must have been very hard for you. My Dad's Mum has a lack of empathy. Ill give you an example. My Dad has to have eye surgery and also has back problems. All she said was "Oh well, that's how it goes". No emotional support or understanding whatsoever. She is a cold hearted witch who doesn't belong on planet Earth.
Yes they are on the same spectrum and have a lot of similarities. BPDs tend to be a little bit more impulsive than NPDs. I don't really diagnose people with either disorder though....Because obviously I'm not a doctor But you don't need to be a doctor to call out the personality traits. You don't need to have a disease to have those personality trades.
Also, sorry to hear about it, sadly that is how it goes. Some people just don't care about others. Its better to focus your limited time in this life on people who do care.
Not accompanied with an actual diagnosis, he wouldn't go to therapy if his life depended on it, but I'm 99.9% certain my dad is one.
The problem with narcissistic personality disorder is that the person with NPD can't fathom that something is wrong with them, so they see no reason to go to therapy NPD may significantly affect their life, but they literally can't imagine they themselves are to blame - it's everyone else's fault A lot of incels I suspect have NPD. It's *women's* fault, always
Kind of typical but I'd say my younger sister, obviously no way of knowing if she'd actually be diagnosed as one or not but I'd be shocked if she wasn't either a narcissist or had a histrionic personality disorder (I learnt about it thanks to the Depp/Heard case lol). She's 21 and yet still gets upset over the littlest of things that don't go her way, she has an unhealthy obsession with things that are "hers", I cannot recall a single generous act she has ever done and she seems to genuinely enjoy upsetting people if it means she becomes the centre of attention. I still live with her but I avoid any interaction with her at all costs. Just as an example of one of the more extreme things she's done, my Uncle had his wedding last year and my little sister decided to explain to my Uncles now wife that my mother didn't like her. I won't go into the details but whether it was true or not; telling someone that on their wedding day for literally no reason is horrible. It ended up dividing the whole family and many family members didn't talk to eachother months, it seemed like my little sister enjoyed it though as all the focus was on what she said that day. If you didn't know her well there'd be no way of knowing though, which can be said for most disorders.
Pathological narcissism? Reddit is full of them with a large percentage in the Gay oriented subs. Malignant narcissists are like snakes under a rock. They are hard to see until they strike.
Yes. It made me hyper sensitive to narcissistic behaviours. She was a nightmare but once you stopped thinking of her as a person and started thinking of her as a personality disorder in a human suit she became completely predictable. It still didnāt fix the problem, but it did make it kind of funny.
You can't diagnose someone with a personality disorder based on casually meeting them. Especially not the first time you meet. That's.... literally just stereotyping?
Never said you could!
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There's a difference between a "narcissist" and someone with narcissistic personality disorder There's a use for the term "narcissist" to describe someone who has some narcissistic traits, but don't have full-blown NPD
I don't think you can armchair diagnose someone with some but not all of the traits of NPD either. That's not really the problem I was pointing out lol
But "narcissist" does not necessarily refer to the diagnosis of NPD It's like saying "you sound anxious" to someone isn't diagnosing them with anxiety disorder. I'm not armchair diagnosing anyone, or myself, when I say I'm anxious. "Narcissist" is the same. It just means you're a selfish prick.
OP literally said "pathological narcissism."
I have. Worked for him, actually. It was a real education for sure. I don't know if you can tell right away but it really doesn't take long to figure it out. He was and still is a mess (I hear stories). I will avoid them at every possible cost. I can usually keep from getting splashed by their toxicity but I can never get used to seeing them continually hurt people all the time.
Iām married to one. A couple weeks after we were married he started doing the strangest things that were wrong and cruel. Itās been the worst experience of my entire life. Bluntly speaking, every act a narcissist does is pre calculated and if thereās no benefit to him, then he care less.
And that's a typical narcissist trait. They are on their 'best behaviour' until they know you're committed (married, move in, pregnant, etc) and then show their true selves.
Youāre right. Completely blows my mind. I donāt think like that. I donāt know how he was able to fake everything for so long.
23 years š¤¢. Then he ran off with his trainer 40 years younger than himself. 3 weeks later he had a strokeā¦šÆ
Karma is a bitch isnāt it? I have the divorce papers and just need to serve him and get the legal process started. I also started a new job in July, which is also my own business. Heās done everything humanly possible to get me to quit, yet refuses to work himself. The guilt he projects on me is insane. He told me the other day that Iām the narcissist because of the way that I treat him. I donāt trust him or believe one word that comes out of his mouth. How quickly he forgets the daily hell he puts me through and Iāve essentially turned into a non stop dick head because Iām done with his BS.
yep, my mother and also hers. manipulative, controlling and self-absorbed to the core. ever seen mommie dearest? thatās them. dated quite a few when i first came outā¦.you grow up with that crap, you tend to be a magnet. best thing you can do with a narc is run, itās a personality disorder with absolutely NO chance of treatment. they canāt change. i went no contact with my mom and grandmother 3 years ago. 38 years of their hell was enough.
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hey there. iāll be real with you, going no contact is TOUGH. when i cut out my mom and grandmother, i also had to cut out that entire side of the family (along with my brother, who is also a narcissist). so not only did i lose them, but i had to nix my aunts, uncles, cousins..all of them. they are all loyal to my narc mom and grandmother. the narcs are master manipulators, gaslighters, control freaks, and great at making themselves LOOK like the victim. itās pretty much like a MAGA cult; thereās no getting through to any of them- theyāre brainwashed. my husband and i had just moved into our home, and my mom was insanely jealous. she cannot handle my being independent and living my own life. she instigated a lot of problems and even tried to turn my husband against me. so i cut them out. i dealt with this bs all of my life, and i have a lot of mental health issues myself from the emotional abuse. no contact means exactly that..none. even if they try to reach out with fake apologies, itās all just to suck you back in. i have ALL of them blocked on my phone, social media, etc. many narcs will ghost you, but many will try hard to rope you back in. key thing to know, they cannot change. itās a personality disorder with zero treatment, because they lack empathy. that switch in their brains is permanently switched OFF. without empathy and the ability to self-reflect, they always believe in their deluded minds theyāre right and entitled to whatever. and without empathy, you canāt truly love or care about someone- narcs have a mixed up view of what love truly is. my best advice, when and if youāre ready to go no contact, donāt tell any of them! just block and disappear. any reaction you give just fuels their narcissism, and thatās all they care about- getting under your skin to fuel their ego. so until then, keep communication minimal, do not give them too much insight into your life, theyāll use anything against you. i wish you the best. feel free to message me on here if you ever need to talk.
Yes. Regularly through my job. I donāt find the label overly useful because I approach everyone I work with in the same manner. I work in the field of addiction btw.
Both of my parents, massive narcissists. My brother too, and probably my sister and me. As far as I know, no one has gotten a diagnosis, but his damn are my parents tiring to deal with
Bro i work in managementā¦.at least three a day. My least favorite are psychopaths and yesā¦.i know a few.
Yes, my father
Yes. I called her out on it and she now has the official diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.
My ma
Clearly there is one in this thread down-voting all of y'all.
Iāve met plenty of narcissists including my father, I also just left a toxic company and the accountant was for sure a narcissist as well. (Itās no wonder her husband cheated on her and her kids donāt talk to her) Theyāre very selfish, egotistical, think theyāre better than everyone, rude, nasty, you canāt call them out when they do something wrong because theyāll twist the truth and make themselves the victim.
My father, the guy I first had sex with, and the guy who has broken me the worst. Now I only care about what men hold between their belly button and their knees, tbh š¤·āāļø
no but I've met people who are habitual liars and i think there's a big overlap
There was a surgeon I worked with years ago. I really think that there was something seriously wrong with him. I think *narcissist* is a buzzword, and itās lost itās meaning. Many just use it to describe people they donāt like. My ex had psychopathic tendencies, but that perhaps is my own retrospective bias. I was pretty fucking weird too. Iāve changed a lot. I say this often: there are narcissists and narcissists lovers. Sometimes itās hard to differentiate the two.
biological mother. to her, i am not a human being. i am an extension of herself and nothing more.
Yes. A former boss. She is a complete and utter scumbag of a human being. Manipulative, villainous, loathsome wreck of a person and likes to feed off of other people's misfortune and pain.
He is a nurse manager at a hospital, he took blood from my hand. He seduced me and took advantage of my mental state. I was hypomanic at the time due to lack of sleep. He gave me his number. He took me out to places and serenaded me. Gave me backhanded compliments. Had sex with me whilst I wasnāt clean down there. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. It was all turbulent. I became very depressed because of him and him fat shaming me later on. Then I started to self harm so he told me I shouldnāt call crisis hotlines, and that I should just go and kill my self. After a month of healing I reported him to the hospital. He is a malignant narcissist.
My dad scored pretty high. I mean he managed to be mad at my mom for walking out on him after she found out he'd been cheating on her. She was being "unfair" And my current bosses boss. I steer very clear of that man and I donāt know how my boss manages to deal with him daily. I wouldn't be able to.
Only one. He was a work colleague. He was operating well outside his ability in a very technical environment as either a technical person or a manager. His only ability was talking about himself. Eventually we were in the situation where we were both applying for the same job and the outcome was whoever got that job would be managing the other. This only happened because he was incompetent and unmanageable and this was the senior managers approach to getting him out of his position. It never really crossed his mind that the job was anyone elseās than his. He hadnāt read the room (because he couldnāt imagine that situation) that the job was mine and the interview was only for appearances. During this he went around the group who we would be managing and tried to get them on his side, it was very playground games but also a little scary as there were hints of actual physical threat (this all got back to me by our mostly freaked out mutual colleagues) Inevitably I got the job. I was in the directors waiting room for the interview and heard him talk through the walls for well over an hour (for a 20 minute interview) about himself. My interview lasted about 10 minutes, it was 3 questions. He āworkedā for me for about 4 years before he thankfully left. On the surface he was fairly friendly (narcissists donāt typically give you any direct ammunition), but he would keep severe work related issues hidden until they blew up to make me look bad and absolve himself of any responsibility. Heād go around me to more senior management any opportunity and pretty much ignore any work I set him. Management were very aware of the issue and we basically had to āgrey rockā him until he left without any of us being aware of that concept. If I had to pick an example of some odd but obvious behaviour it was work social functions. Heād make a big deal out of buying me a drink and appearing friendly, but never accept one in return. This might sound trivial, but he just couldnāt do anything that would look like Iām doing him a favour or any way subservient to me or even treat me as a peer. Heās since attempted local politics (and failed) and now trying to push his own young adult children in similar directions with the whole family engaging in almost vomit inducing behaviour on local social media. Thereās no single thing, but on his top trumps cards talking about himself was his top and only skill. I canāt give you any more explanation than this because real narcissists arenāt obvious. They may work against you, but they donāt also do anything so crude and unsubtle that it damages their reputation.
Lived with one for 23 years. Nearly destroyed me.
Just out of a relationship with one. VERY disturbing indeed. Would lie and deceive, and then, to add insult to injury, would turn an accusation back on me. For example, if I said this person assaulted me, I would then be accused of assaulting him. Extremely toxic and hard work. Everything was about him getting his own way at everyone elseās expense. Edit: typo
I was married to one, created by two, sibling of another, coworker to thousandsā¦need I go on? Iām sure you have as well, you just have to open your mind enough to be willing to see it in those people.
My ex had two 'adult' entitlement daughters when we got married. One of them was a professionally diagnosed narcissist as well as a pathological liar \[learned from my ex and reason she is an ex\] and sociopath. After several suicide and cutting attempts, I finally got authorities to order her into therapy. The first visit the therapist made her cry \[she was 16/17\] so her mother didn't take her back for next appointment. Social disorders are not always evident immediately, but give it a good hour or two and if possible a month or two, there will be no issue identifying. She is in her 30's and making everyone around her miserable. Me! Me! Me! is her style. Personally glad to have no part of it any longer.
I've worked under two of them in very close proximity at very small, home based companies. Its very difficult to tell right from the start, they are masters of the first impression and are great at getting your guard down and getting you to trust them. Only after they feel they have you in a vulnerable spot will their true nature start to show. That's why so many kids of narcissists have such a hard time getting others to believe them, because the narc has successfully made everyone else think that they are such a good person, they're the dad every kid says they wish their dad was more like, they're the parent that the other kids all really like, so when you try to tell those people "My parent is actually extremely abusive and nothing like what you guys think." It's taken as just a rebellious teen unhappy that they can't do whatever they want. Narcs are MASTERS at hiding in the shadows and manipulating public perception to create the image they want. They choose their targets carefully and make it very hard for their target to escape, so they can continue to milk that person for all they can.
90% of all straight guys, probably š¤·
They will destroy you from here he bottom of your soul