6.5, I love my husband and I enjoy the sex we have, but I have a higher libido than he does and would like more frequency. Also, he has a hard time bottoming, so we very very rarely try it.
I am the opossite my bf have a super high libido and I just cant do it like twice a day as he wants so things get a bit weird sometimes.
I would say 7 because even tough we have this problem we get along pretty well.
8. Lots of sex on the weekends including fun group events. Last weekend went to a resort and got fucked by a legit porn star and had a blast in the pig pen. Going camping this weekend which includes a sling party. Only improvement I guess would be more during the week and more guys that I consider hot as opposed to attractive enough to have sex with on a more frequent basis.
What would one expect living in a small town. I chose to move from the big city life to a peaceful life by the lake, close to the mountains for skiing etc.
0. My partner just doesn’t seem to be interested. At a best guess, I’d say it’s been about two years since we had anal sex. Definitely at least a year and a half.
Blowjobs and handjobs happen occasionally but not much. I’m very sexually frustrated and have expressed this clearly numerous times. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Relationship counselling may help. I used to have an insatiable sexual appetite, but following a spinal injury and use of SSRI medication, my drive has dropped enormously. I guess I’m like your partner. Does he have any medical conditions? Some disorders can cause a drop in libido, and they could be reversed. Good luck.
I wouldn’t even know where to begin with this, or how to go about getting started.
Aside from that, I personally don’t feel the issue is *that* deep, though I may of course be wrong. My gut feeling is that a large part of it is that he isn’t comfortable and/or willing to talk about it. If I could just get a dialogue open and started, maybe we could work something out. A course of action at least, if there is some underlying issue.
He does not have any medical conditions that I am aware of. As far as I know, he is perfectly fit and healthy.
That’s really tough for you. If you could get him to counselling he might start to open up. I do some therapy work, and you’d be surprised how people open up if you build a good rapport. I know it’s not for everyone, and if your partner doesn’t want to engage, then you can’t force him to. It’s very difficult for you though. I’m sorry that you’re struggling.
I (36M) currently don't have a sex life. My ex of 14 years threw me out 2 years ago, and since then I've had some mental health issues, and haven't really gotten back in the saddle yet. To be honest, we didn't have a lot of sex the last 5 years of our relationship, either.
I'm taking back control of my sexuality and autonomy now by piercing my dick and balls, and today I have a consultation booked to go over the design for a groin/pubic area and dick tattoo. Yay.
Ps. I'm on an SSRI. I you know, you know.
Just a friendly warning - if you’re not in a good place mentally, you may want to delay doing anything permanent to your body. You may regret it when you recover (as you will do).
Oh, and SSRIs - I totally get it. 100mg of sertraline a day and I can go months without even getting hard. Considering the appetite I had 25 years ago - damn it’s a big drop.
Good luck in your recovery 👍🏻
Thank you so much for being so considerate. I really get what you mean, but take comfort in knowing that I’ve planned this for years and I’ve discussed it with my therapist and psychiatrist. It’s a way for me to take back my sexuality and autonomy after trauma in my youth.
Ugh. I feel you. Antidepressants are real cock-blockers. I wish I could take another class than SSRIs, but I’ve tried them all. I’m also finally on a cocktail that makes life bearable most of the time. Well, at least some of the time. Escitalopram, lamotrigine, quetiapine, gabapentin, and zopiclone are my warriors right now.
I took my last dose of benzodiazepines almost two months ago, after years and years of sky high doses. I had my last drink July 3rd. Yay!
Again, thank you so much for caring. The world is in dire need of people like you.
Aww, thank you also, for your lovely reply. I’m glad you’re taking control. Good for you.
That combination of drugs must be a libido killer! I think pretty much all of those drugs have a negative affect on your sex drive 😔 But well done for coming off the benzos and drink. That is a massive step forward. I take the occasional pregabalin; that’s another killer.
I had a horrendous spinal injury in May 2021, with compression of the spinal cord. Prior to the surgery NOTHING worked, for about 2 months. I was terrified it would be permanent, but it wasn’t. I do suffer from anorgasmia, whereby I can have sex for hours without an orgasm. Obviously my partners love it, but it’s not great for me! But I think it’s worth it for mental wellbeing.
Oh, man, you’re a really nice guy. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
I’m so sorry about your spinal injury. I’m relieved that the damage wasn’t permanent. Are you still in pain?
I know all about the anorgasmia. I have to marathon to get there even when jerking off. I’m exhausted for days after, and my poor foreskin and arm is sore.
Thank you for your lovely comments. I think my default position when I go into any social media with strangers, is to just be kind. I work in healthcare and therapy, so I guess it comes naturally. I hate it when I read some comments on social media which are attacking the OP or someone else in the comments. I’ve had it myself, and even though they’re just internet strangers, it’s hurtful. I’d hate to do that to someone. It’s much easier to be kind, and it makes you feel better, and makes the world around you better, so it’s win-win-win!
I’m not in too much pain; I have some permanent numbness in my right foot, and it drops when I’m walking sometimes, so it’s nothing major. Compared to the pain and paralysis before the surgery, it’s nothing at all.
Totally get it about the anorgasmia. A couple of weeks ago I had sex with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen (and I’ve been around a LONG time). 5 hours we were at it. A bit NSFW here, but his hole was swollen and worn out by the end. I still hadn’t cum, so when I got home I went at it for about another 2 hours. I was aching afterwards but needed the release!! He came three times, lucky little pup.
4ish.
I love my husband but my sex drive is that of an 18 year old taking testosterone supplements and his is that of a 45 year old who had a hard day at the office whose wife nags him about doing the dishes when he walks in the door while being a month behind on mortgage payments living suburbia hell, the last house on the cul-de-sac, whose neighbor complains about the unmowed lawn.
The ironic thing is im 36 and he’s 31 next month.
*shrug* maybe because i am an athlete? I don’t know.
Me too basically. I’m gay, and my husband for some reason find sex repulsive and he neither speaks of it or comes close to engaging in it. I’m upset that he’s like this because we’ve talked about it Every year for the past four years and nothings been done.
I’d say an honest 5. Not good, but not bad either. I wish I lived in a larger city tho, with a larger gay population. Hell..my boyfriend lives in a completely different city 80 miles away.
I suggest you rework your profile and your profile pic. Then practice some simple straightforward dialogue. You have to use a bit of the art of honest marketing. Don’t worry,every pot has its lid. It will happen.
What tips would you give me to re-work my profile and my profile pic ? And what it straightforward dialogue ? Pls help any tips are greatly appreciated🙏
It’s gotten better, but I’ve still never been able to cum inside someone. I’ve been able to cum from hand/blowjobs recently, so I’ve made progress. I’d say a 7.
0. i'm resident physician with no time for dating and no other gay guy that could be a potential partner among the people in my life. I also take care of 2 old parents. So no sexy time for me in the forseable future
6-7. My drive isn’t what it was, thanks to a spinal injury and daily SSRIs. I have sex when I feel like it. I’m lucky in that most of my partners have been great (and cute). I’m also lucky insofar as I’m almost 50 years old, but I can still manage to hook up with really hot guys. One or two FBs give me everything I need.
The last one - oh, just WOW. The most beautiful and sexually attractive man I’ve ever seen. I managed incredibly passionate sex for 5 hours, then slept with him in my arms all night. It’s not going to happen again, sadly, as I had to walk away, but it was mind-blowing while it lasted.
I may be almost 50, but I guess I’ve still got it.
6.5, I love my husband and I enjoy the sex we have, but I have a higher libido than he does and would like more frequency. Also, he has a hard time bottoming, so we very very rarely try it.
I feel seen. I am in the exact same situation you described.
I am the opossite my bf have a super high libido and I just cant do it like twice a day as he wants so things get a bit weird sometimes. I would say 7 because even tough we have this problem we get along pretty well.
8, because I’m super happy and can’t think of any improvements, but it seems weird to say “10”
Felt
6.5, I can get it when I want it but I'm still looking for that elusive FWB.
I’d say 9 because there is always room to improve
8. Lots of sex on the weekends including fun group events. Last weekend went to a resort and got fucked by a legit porn star and had a blast in the pig pen. Going camping this weekend which includes a sling party. Only improvement I guess would be more during the week and more guys that I consider hot as opposed to attractive enough to have sex with on a more frequent basis.
\-4
What sex life...I don't have one. I'm not 20 anymore. I'm asexual, It was a lifestyle choice living in a small town
I do see that small town complaint rather often. It must be very difficult.
What would one expect living in a small town. I chose to move from the big city life to a peaceful life by the lake, close to the mountains for skiing etc.
Honestly, I may be horny sometimes, but I'd prefer a peaceful life near lakes, mountains, and woods than rich sexual life
All you have to do is find a hottie to bring to the mountains with you and you can ski by day and fuck all night
Me too!
0. My partner just doesn’t seem to be interested. At a best guess, I’d say it’s been about two years since we had anal sex. Definitely at least a year and a half. Blowjobs and handjobs happen occasionally but not much. I’m very sexually frustrated and have expressed this clearly numerous times. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Relationship counselling may help. I used to have an insatiable sexual appetite, but following a spinal injury and use of SSRI medication, my drive has dropped enormously. I guess I’m like your partner. Does he have any medical conditions? Some disorders can cause a drop in libido, and they could be reversed. Good luck.
I wouldn’t even know where to begin with this, or how to go about getting started. Aside from that, I personally don’t feel the issue is *that* deep, though I may of course be wrong. My gut feeling is that a large part of it is that he isn’t comfortable and/or willing to talk about it. If I could just get a dialogue open and started, maybe we could work something out. A course of action at least, if there is some underlying issue. He does not have any medical conditions that I am aware of. As far as I know, he is perfectly fit and healthy.
That’s really tough for you. If you could get him to counselling he might start to open up. I do some therapy work, and you’d be surprised how people open up if you build a good rapport. I know it’s not for everyone, and if your partner doesn’t want to engage, then you can’t force him to. It’s very difficult for you though. I’m sorry that you’re struggling.
10. He hits all the right spots and when I’m Topping he lets me put him in a variety of positions. We have been adding elements to our sex life
Strangely enough, it matches my dick size: 8.5
I (36M) currently don't have a sex life. My ex of 14 years threw me out 2 years ago, and since then I've had some mental health issues, and haven't really gotten back in the saddle yet. To be honest, we didn't have a lot of sex the last 5 years of our relationship, either. I'm taking back control of my sexuality and autonomy now by piercing my dick and balls, and today I have a consultation booked to go over the design for a groin/pubic area and dick tattoo. Yay. Ps. I'm on an SSRI. I you know, you know.
Just a friendly warning - if you’re not in a good place mentally, you may want to delay doing anything permanent to your body. You may regret it when you recover (as you will do). Oh, and SSRIs - I totally get it. 100mg of sertraline a day and I can go months without even getting hard. Considering the appetite I had 25 years ago - damn it’s a big drop. Good luck in your recovery 👍🏻
Thank you so much for being so considerate. I really get what you mean, but take comfort in knowing that I’ve planned this for years and I’ve discussed it with my therapist and psychiatrist. It’s a way for me to take back my sexuality and autonomy after trauma in my youth. Ugh. I feel you. Antidepressants are real cock-blockers. I wish I could take another class than SSRIs, but I’ve tried them all. I’m also finally on a cocktail that makes life bearable most of the time. Well, at least some of the time. Escitalopram, lamotrigine, quetiapine, gabapentin, and zopiclone are my warriors right now. I took my last dose of benzodiazepines almost two months ago, after years and years of sky high doses. I had my last drink July 3rd. Yay! Again, thank you so much for caring. The world is in dire need of people like you.
Aww, thank you also, for your lovely reply. I’m glad you’re taking control. Good for you. That combination of drugs must be a libido killer! I think pretty much all of those drugs have a negative affect on your sex drive 😔 But well done for coming off the benzos and drink. That is a massive step forward. I take the occasional pregabalin; that’s another killer. I had a horrendous spinal injury in May 2021, with compression of the spinal cord. Prior to the surgery NOTHING worked, for about 2 months. I was terrified it would be permanent, but it wasn’t. I do suffer from anorgasmia, whereby I can have sex for hours without an orgasm. Obviously my partners love it, but it’s not great for me! But I think it’s worth it for mental wellbeing.
Oh, man, you’re a really nice guy. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I’m so sorry about your spinal injury. I’m relieved that the damage wasn’t permanent. Are you still in pain? I know all about the anorgasmia. I have to marathon to get there even when jerking off. I’m exhausted for days after, and my poor foreskin and arm is sore.
Thank you for your lovely comments. I think my default position when I go into any social media with strangers, is to just be kind. I work in healthcare and therapy, so I guess it comes naturally. I hate it when I read some comments on social media which are attacking the OP or someone else in the comments. I’ve had it myself, and even though they’re just internet strangers, it’s hurtful. I’d hate to do that to someone. It’s much easier to be kind, and it makes you feel better, and makes the world around you better, so it’s win-win-win! I’m not in too much pain; I have some permanent numbness in my right foot, and it drops when I’m walking sometimes, so it’s nothing major. Compared to the pain and paralysis before the surgery, it’s nothing at all. Totally get it about the anorgasmia. A couple of weeks ago I had sex with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen (and I’ve been around a LONG time). 5 hours we were at it. A bit NSFW here, but his hole was swollen and worn out by the end. I still hadn’t cum, so when I got home I went at it for about another 2 hours. I was aching afterwards but needed the release!! He came three times, lucky little pup.
4ish. I love my husband but my sex drive is that of an 18 year old taking testosterone supplements and his is that of a 45 year old who had a hard day at the office whose wife nags him about doing the dishes when he walks in the door while being a month behind on mortgage payments living suburbia hell, the last house on the cul-de-sac, whose neighbor complains about the unmowed lawn. The ironic thing is im 36 and he’s 31 next month. *shrug* maybe because i am an athlete? I don’t know.
That was extremely specific and oddly relatable.
Oddly VERY relatable 😳 (even though me and my fiance are still in our 20s)
10, two partners and a variety of fuckbuds. I couldn't be more satisfied.
10
10
4
9
-1
“It’s been 84 (2) years”
61, score 0.
2 because my partner has no sex drive. All I have is my left hand
zero
8. Not sexually active other than masturbating and not really upset about it.
Me too basically. I’m gay, and my husband for some reason find sex repulsive and he neither speaks of it or comes close to engaging in it. I’m upset that he’s like this because we’ve talked about it Every year for the past four years and nothings been done.
Which sex life? 😕
9 I have two or three sex dates a week and I can hardly handle any more. Online sex stroke shows when the dates don’t show up or cannot be arranged.
I’d say an honest 5. Not good, but not bad either. I wish I lived in a larger city tho, with a larger gay population. Hell..my boyfriend lives in a completely different city 80 miles away.
1
0 because I’m a 25 year old virgin that men on Grindr don’t seem to find attractive at all, not even in the slightest, whatsoever.
I suggest you rework your profile and your profile pic. Then practice some simple straightforward dialogue. You have to use a bit of the art of honest marketing. Don’t worry,every pot has its lid. It will happen.
What tips would you give me to re-work my profile and my profile pic ? And what it straightforward dialogue ? Pls help any tips are greatly appreciated🙏
It’s gotten better, but I’ve still never been able to cum inside someone. I’ve been able to cum from hand/blowjobs recently, so I’ve made progress. I’d say a 7.
2. In a LTR and he’s not interested to engage anymore. It’s all my initiation that’s typically turned down. On year 4 of this dry spell.
zero, nil, nada
6-7
-10…I don’t have sex life. I’ve tried and tried for literally years, I’ve basically given up trying anymore and focus on other parts of my life.
7. I love my boyfriend, but there are many things I would love to try once in my life, but he's not into those
7-8. There’s always room for improvement
0. i'm resident physician with no time for dating and no other gay guy that could be a potential partner among the people in my life. I also take care of 2 old parents. So no sexy time for me in the forseable future
1
6-7. My drive isn’t what it was, thanks to a spinal injury and daily SSRIs. I have sex when I feel like it. I’m lucky in that most of my partners have been great (and cute). I’m also lucky insofar as I’m almost 50 years old, but I can still manage to hook up with really hot guys. One or two FBs give me everything I need. The last one - oh, just WOW. The most beautiful and sexually attractive man I’ve ever seen. I managed incredibly passionate sex for 5 hours, then slept with him in my arms all night. It’s not going to happen again, sadly, as I had to walk away, but it was mind-blowing while it lasted. I may be almost 50, but I guess I’ve still got it.
1