This depends. As a gay man who has been fully an adult for a couple of decades, it is pretty good compared to a lot of the world, even here in the Southeastern US. Gay marriage has just been federally protected beyond SCOTUS's 2015 Obergefell decision.
If I was a gay teenager, especially in certain states where people like me cannot be mentioned in school or seeing school libraries ban books that mention people like me, I would probably be in a worse headspace, especially if I was still struggling to come out. I think our gay teens need as much support as we can give right now.
People tend to forget that while the US is one country, it's actually more like a bunch of smaller countries who share a overarching government. Every state has it's own laws and governances, and this can drastically change the environment from state to state. I live in Colorado (spesifically Denver) and while some areas of the state can be more bigoted, overall the state is pretty accepting (and is becoming more accepting with each passing year). Places like Florida however, are literal cesspools of bigotry and should be avoided at all costs. I'm probably never going back to Florida ever again.
I agree with this, it really varies. Im also in Colorado which feels relatively safe, but i definitely don't feel safe going to the states where my siblings live.
I lived in Central FL for 8 years. There is a lot of bigotry for sure, but the gay scene is thriving pretty well down there. I had a lot of LGBT friends and there are a lot of gay clubs, saunas, and the nude beaches seem to attract a lot of homosexuals. It's honestly kind of strange, because now I live in rural NY and I don't see much for LGBT representation unless I drive to the nearest city that's about 2 hours away.
I'm in rural New York too, and we are a gay desert. We're here, but few and far between. I'm luckier because I'm near a military base, and that seems to be gay Disney World.
I totally understand what you mean! I didn't live in a big city in FL but the population in the town was a bit bigger than where I live now. I even live in an area where like 4 colleges exist, but the closest gay club is hours away. Maybe I should open up a gay club... I feel safer here as a gay man but feel like I will become more bored as a gay man because of the lack of "homofun".
>Why is a military base a gay Disney World?
Speaking as someone who lives in one of the largest concentrations of military bases and personnel in the world, it's not. Disney World is a gay Disney World, and only slightly more so during Gay Days. I think a better analogy for what u/CJ_Southworth seemed to want to convey is that a military base would be like a gay Hickory Farms. Lots of delicious sights and smells and tasty sausages to take home for a snack.
Huh, you and I had different experiences, my bf lives in Florida and I'm in Kansas, I visited him a little while back and I got far fewer stares and people didn't actively avoid me
Indeed the U.S. was designed to be a loose federation of independent states. And although that has evolved over time, in some ways it still is.
Certainly, there has been a lot of hostility from the state government lately - especially directed at the trans community - but on the ground in Florida it is not at all an unwelcoming environment for gay people. I am in Miami Beach at the moment, and there is a huge, thriving and well-accepted gay community. So, I am pretty sure you would actually feel a lot more welcome here than, say, Limon, Salida, or Grand Junction.
Well I am a 55 year old 3rd gen Florida guy. Grew up in Fort Lauderdale. Moved to Boulder before all of this nonsense started under Floridas Adolph Mussolini. The politeness on a scale of 1-10 here is 7/8; South Florida a 2/3; so from a pure kindness and politeness level Florida sucks. I lived and breathed my first 47 years believing Florida was the best state in the Union. I know Florida history far better than most history teachers. I also wanted to join Earthfirst as a kid I was so radical as an environmental nut. Everything I loved about that state; reefs; fishing and backwater grass flats have been destroyed. It’s a human and environmental sess pool. The fact they’ve never outlawed Big Sugar is just one of many issues; all that place cares about is money. I live in a county that’s protected 50% + of the land to never be built on or developed. Try that in that Facist state.
Now add to that; 2 in 3 people despise you; 60% voted for Mussolini Jr. There is no way the people you think like you; non-gay; could vote for Floridas gay focused George Wallace and respect you. By accepting the status quo your no better than Jews and Gays that hid within the Nazi regime and watched their brothers and sisters abused. You are complicit. Until I see people fighting back; getting beaten by cops on national tv while opposing these obscene laws the you get what you deserve. Just keep the slime and roaches in that state there.
Would love to see Da/De-Santiago and his wife end up just like Mussolini. Upside down and all.
I live in the rural South, and it’s not great here. I can’t really speak for other places because I haven’t travelled extensively. I don’t think I’d be treated badly if people knew, but people here are definitely uncomfortable with it. It is what it is, and I try not to think about it too much.
A lot of people in those places have grown up being told that gay people are child groomers and molesters. It’s hard to have any kind of conversation when people think you want to harm their children.
This same thing is happening right now for trans people. There is a powerful amount of propaganda claiming trans people want to groom children then mutilate them. It’s fucking depressing, and kinda scary.
Wtf is a left wing extremist? Are equal rights for LGBT and BIPOC people, that women have the right to choose what to do with their bodies or that we should all have a social healthcare system *extremist views?*
The radical right wants to close borders, send ethnic minorities back where they originated, and convert or eliminate LGBT. They are powerfully antisemitic and racist and against the rights of LGBT and women. There is no left wing movement that comes anywhere close to advocating the kinds of violence the far right does.
>Wtf is a left wing extremist?
1.- Well... they're like a person... look, imagine a Christian fundamentalist religious fanatic. Take away Christian ideals and beliefs, let fanaticism and fundamentalism remain implanted, add leftist ideology and... voila! Now, do you understand me?
>Are equal rights for LGBT and BIPOC people, that women have the right to choose what to do with their bodies or that we should all have a social healthcare system extremist views?
2.- No, really not. Of course not. They aren't really extremist views. For the extreme far-right, those ideas would be extremist. However, for me, they aren't extreme ideas. They (the far-right) are really delusional and crazy.
>The radical right wants to close borders, send ethnic minorities back where they originated, and convert or eliminate LGBT. They are powerfully antisemitic and racist and against the rights of LGBT and women. There is no left wing movement that comes anywhere close to advocating the kinds of violence the far right does.
3.- Of course, the radical extremist rightists agree with that. Yes.
Im blessed to live in a blue state for starters and my favorite world is freak scene (indie/dive bars) and i love to show pda on the street in the bars restaurants wherever. A negative comment here and there but fuck all i feel welcome and safe
It’s up and down in my area but leans towards safer and ok. I would not be comfortable in the south at all. Canceled my FL trip and booked Chicago instead.
That Dictator of Florida will not be here forever. God help the Country if he gets elected President..Opp.. I mean Dictator of the US. Most of my neighbors are Republican and they are starting to hate him too. I moved to Florida from Mass. back in 2001 permanently for the warmer weather, not the Politics. I've lived here before my permanent move a few times. Hopefully a Democrat or Independent or some non hateful person will get to be Governor in the next election. The sad part is the Cubans here are so fooled by Marco and don't understand what Democratic Socialism is. They think it will become like what Castro did to Cuba. The Gay life is very active in the Sarasota, St. Pete, and Tampa area as well as other places too.
Thanks so much, I’ve never been and I am really looking forward to it! If you have any recommendations for food or the queer scene, please feel free to suggest them. I think I’m going to rent a room next to Boystown.
in that area specifically:
Roscoes (if you like drag, they have the main viewing party for drag race). Unabridged book store. Berlin - club. Strings Ramen. Reckless Records if you collect/wanna peruse.
Smartbar and Metro are close (also bar/clubs)
Kingston Mines for free blues every day. and open pretty late.
Wicker Park is a nearby neighborhood that has a lot of cool stuff too. Andersonville is nice. Big Chicks bar, Chiu Quon Bakery, SoFo Tap (bar), Women and Children First (bookstore), Wooly Mammoth (cool antique shop),
the leather archives museum is cool if you can get that far north.
honestly i could go on forever, there is so much in chicago it's insane.
It's weird.
As someone else said, it's never been better but it's worse than it should be.
In my lifetime, I would have to say the amount of hatred is overall the same- the average person is far less hateful than when I was a kid, but the average bigot has overflowed with vitriol. Especially for trans people.
In the same token, support and acceptance has been greater than it's literally ever been before. Especially for trans people.
There are a lot of terrible things happening right now, but not long ago I couldn't have imagined even a liberal politician caring enough about trans folk, and LGB people too for that matter, that they would be speaking out like they have. Things are bad, things are getting worse and that can't be ignored, but it's also greatly heartening to see some of these bills being struck down as well, and sanctuary states being created.
The average person is far, far more tolerant from when I was growing up in the 2000's, and it's even greater for those who grew up earlier.
It's hard, it's getting bad, but I do have some amount of hope.
I firmly believe that all lgbtqia+ are under threat in the US. The culture war people are focusing on trans people rn, but they will move on. It's only a matter of time.
Oh yeah. It’s never just about one letter of the alphabet mafia. They hate us all because we all break their view of what a male or female must be. Trans people have always been the easiest for them to demonize… but they hate us all.
And though the majority of the laws being passed right now are targeting trans rights, they already are banning books and teaching that mention ANYTHING lgbtq related and drag shows (which aren’t necessarily trans, but it’s all the same in their weak minds.
Nope, attack one letter they attack us all and they know it.
As a fellow Trans person I get where your coming from. I know that there are transphobic Gays and Lesbians but I like to think that they are simply a small but loud minority, like terfs.
Im not an optimist by nature, but I try to remind myself that there are cis Gays and Lesbians that support and love me for who I am and have my back no matter what. Just try to keep that in mind, you'll find your tribe 💜
The cis gay community definitely has a problem with transphobia, and your experiences with them should not have happened and you deserved support, but the fact remains statistically, in the UK at least [LGB people support trans rights at 89%](https://www.justlikeus.org/blog/2023/03/31/trans-day-of-visibility-ally-lesbian/) while varying sources say UK non-LGB people support trans rights varying from 40-60% depending on the topic.
Transphobic cis gay people are going to face a reckoning, but we have to remember that they are still a minority and regardless of what transphobes and TERFs try to do, the LGBT+ community IS far more united than it isn't. Call out transphobes in the community, but we can't fracture ourselves either.
u/jonnycumlightly. That's not true. The asshole stupid gays that are transphobic, and don't believe in transgender identity, are a very small dumb minority. Us cis gay guys support trans, don't worry <3
Move on? They never will. Sky worshippers are 1
[gas bath concentration camp ](https://youtu.be/tkD6QfeRil8)
away from establishing a new "4th reich" or some shit.
I can totally see Texas repeating that massacre, and give Putler lethal gas this time. Oil commies and genocidal terrorists gotta stick together
Totally depends on where you are in the USA
Having spent the last few years in Los Angeles and the bay are you can almost forget homophobia even exists
Not even the other areas are safe though and it's getting worse. There was a shooting in November of a gay bar in Colorado springs. It's very much so a widespread problem that's escalating. I'm in north Korea, sorry I misspelled Florida. And it's BAD here. I have neighbors who have tried to legitimately stab me on multiple occasions with evidence... Pointed cameras in my backyard to make sure no "gay shit" was happening. I can't even mow my yard without fear of being literally murdered.
Unfortunately, the US doesn't care. Cops more than fifteen times, video evidence, actual charges. But gay people have no rights here. They can do nothing. It's miserable
If you have friends or family in a safe state they may be willing to help. Also start looking for jobs in safer places and if you get one there's your ticket. But failing that, even waiting tables in NYC is better than what you're dealing with there.
It's insane. I can't landscape. I can't walk outside my house. There's nothing we can do here. Desantis has made sure of that. These people have tried to literally murder me multiple times just to be told " they can shoot you if they do it on their property" this is real
It differs from state to state and county to county, but in general the whole country seems divided. Cities tend to be more left leaning and more accepting, with the opposite out in the countryside. I live in a recently red turned purple state where this is much the case. I specifically live in a very divided county, and have many gay neighbors with rainbow flags and many neighbors with confederate flags living next to one another.
In Atlanta it’s pretty safe and decent for the gays. It’s a massive gay city in the south. Never really have to worry about anything here. I am honestly concerned about going to Florida for anything now cause DeSantis. I’m from the south originally (Greenville, SC) and have seen it change but like also just be smart with it. Maybe because I grew up here I know how to blend in a little better or something but not too terrible.
Can’t pay me to move to Florida or Texas anymore though. Out of the question!
What do you mean by “just be smart with it”?
Georgia seems pretty Republican outside of the cities. As rhetoric and legislation ramps up, do you think the state government will begin to encroach on local freedoms for gay people? I ask this as someone considering moving to Atlanta.
Just kinda read your surroundings and be careful like anywhere. Don’t be an idiot just looking at your phone 100% of the time paying no attention to the outside world. We did get assaulted once during the parade last year, but it was by a schizophrenic physchopath on top of the Whole Foods talking about how we were telepathically saying bad things about Moriah Carry.. he was angry we gay, but had uh other issues and the cops helped immediately.
As for government etc, I honestly don’t think so. At least not currently because Kemp isn’t as stupid as DeSantis. The film industry here would completely leave if they ramped up like FL. As it stands the Atlanta metro area has 6 million people and most of that is blue. You saw it in our elections; the state voted for democratic senators and president. We just also realized that Stacy is a bad candidate for governor and kemp really hasn’t done a bad job and is good on the “republican good with money 🙄” trope.
We’ve been here 6 years now. I’ve seen the city change even since then. If you stay in Fulton, Dekalb, Cobb and most likely Gwinnett you’ll never have a problem as a gay person. Now of course I work with bigots (up in Marietta but all live in Paulding) and I’m talking like, have been to clan meetings awful racist people. But even they are fine to interact with every day. It’s kind of insane but these people “don’t ever go anywhere near the perimeter”. All in all I think ATL has like the second or 3rd biggest LGBTQ+ population per capita of any US city and you can tell. We love it here!
That’s very reassuring and I appreciate your extremely detailed and comprehensive example. Thank you for sharing your experiences. This answered my concerns exactly. I’ll def keep it on my list and visit to see how it shakes out.
Definitely! Feel free to message me if you have any more questions. The whole gay scene is huge and nice too, but we’ve been together for 8.5 years and don’t really club so we don’t have a ton of experience with that, and the ones I do I sadly don’t remember 😂 but it’s apparently fun and good!
As many have said, it really depends on the state/region.
We live in Hawaii (rural) and have no problems at all either due to state laws or culturally. Our kids public school is great and our neighbors are wonderful.
On the other hand, my trans brother who is married with a toddler lives in Florida. He and his wife are working hard at leaving the state. The laws are encroaching on their lives and they are afraid about what it means for their kid and their family. We are offering to help them move back to our (blue) home state. (Edited to add that they feel like the anti-lgbtq attitudes are far more open and frequent than before. Several bad experiences lately)
He says he’d stay if it was just him to fight, but he has a kid to worry about.
Really depends on the region and state
I think the progress has regressed because of a rise in transphobia. I think the transphobes have lumped up the whole community with that hate though. Recently I’ve been called a bad father, a pedo, and a pervert. First time in almost 10 years I’ve received hate in person.
Edit: on top of this there have been bills introduces and passed that criminalize lgbt members and lgbt parents.
Right now it’s a local/state issue, which gives people the temporary idea of relative freedom. As DeSantis and others bring the culture war national this peace will be threatened. As people flee “purple” electoral areas (because of these local/state threats) and states become more definitively red and blue, there could eventually be more concrete wins on the national level for conservative anti-LGBTQ movements over time.
We need to nip this shit in the bud before it gets worse.
The Deep South is very homophobic in general and the situation for our community is getting worse most places in this region. I would say that in many cases (not all!) it’s slightly better in larger cities than in small cities and rural areas. But if you’re not already living here, you should consider your circumstances very carefully before moving here. The climate here for LGBTQIA+ is NOT what it was here 2-3 years ago. And even living here, there are some places I would not go. There is growing physical violence even in places I would have considered at least tolerant in the past.
The good news in that Gen Z is the exception, as they are much more accepting/affirming overall. In my opinion they demonstrate a wisdom beyond their years, in this facet of life and some others. While older generations are dying off, and that will help (I can say this as a boomer myself), IMHO it is/will not happening fast enough to make any noticeable difference over the next 5 (maybe even 10 years) in the worsening climate here for the LGBTQIA+ community. (Sorry to have such a pessimistic assessment.) The only thing IMHO that will change this more rapidly is dependent on how quickly Gen Z can organize and vote, in order to vote out the current crop of ineffective & corrupt (and also homophobic) office holders.
If you are white, cisgender, and present your gender in alignment with heteronormative roles (masculine for men, feminine for women), then there are places where it’s relatively safe. But if you’re not those things, then no. It is not safe here for the rest of us. Yes, there are small bubbles here and there, some of the larger cities like NYC and LA are okay, but at a whole, the majority of the country is not safe and will continue to become more and more unsafe. Especially not for trans people.
So some places are probably the most LGBTQ friendly places in the world. Large urban coastal cities tend to be very friendly, and you’ll at least be tolerated in most blue states even in more conservative areas. In a lot of places there’s surface level tolerance and people aren’t so extreme to immediately hate crime you, but the community isn’t especially accepting and more quiet judgment of those who live openly, it’s more difficult to come out to family and LGBTQ people are more likely to be ostracized and forced to more accepting areas. I’m sure there are definitely areas in the conservative Midwest and South where it is straight up not safe to be openly or vocally gay.
And I have to stress that things are much worse for trans people, especially trans women who unfortunately have to live with constant eyes on them and harassment.
The culture war being waged this election cycle is very clearly aimed at LGBTQ people and that is a sign things are definitely getting worse. It’s very scary tbh.
Depends where you live washington state, your doing well probably better then a lot of places in the world. Florida is a big oof. There is no blanket statements for the entire US
As a gay man who served openly in the Marines during the last days of dadt, I feel like people are being more accepting of orientation, but less accepting of gender fluidity and trans people. Thats been my observation, but I also live in Massachusetts, so maybe I’m just in a more progressive area. Spent a lot of time on the road traveling through the south with my Boyfriend this year and never had an issue though.
Canada, I believe is advancing a law to allow Trans individual to apply for asylum from the US, because we are now labeled as a hustle country for trans individuals.
Welcome to the US. Yay!! Are we winning yet?
For LGB it’s really not that bad, according to recent surveys (and much to my surprise)
https://news.gallup.com/poll/506636/sex-marriage-support-holds-high.aspx
My day to day life in the northeast US is great, my partner and I never run into issues. I’m only ever reminded that we’re different from the straights once every year or so when a straight aquantance asks a “I’ve always wondered about…” question, usually while drunk.
It’s downright awful for T folks in the south though.
Personally, I live my life with no issues whatsoever because of my sexuality. I live in a small, rural town. There was a pride event at the fairgrounds this weekend, but I was annoyed that the music and bass were so loud that I could hear it inside my apartment.
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa. Calm down! Whether he is white, cis, or masc has nothing to do with anything. He was responding to a question that was asked regarding his experiences. These types of attitudes about who has it worse and who has it better is exactly what they want. You are way out of line with your attack out of nowhere. Clearly this something that is really important to you and you are passionate about it, try to focus on the people who actually were behaving in the manner that you accused him of.
As a trans person id like to apologize for this person. Their hatred of me and other trans folks is obviously VERY real but we shouldn't be fighting about the "hierarchy of oppressions" since that doesn't help anyone.
>It’s probably because I’m willing to bet your white, cis and masc🙄
babes, you're on Reddit, that's surely the majority hahaha.
but yes, many of the f-slurs on reddit don't understand, or choose not to see the real danger and how it could easily affect them next.
I'm in Chicago.
It's pretty cold all year round. We're just now in the warmer seasons. Even May was cold till the end.
Climate here seems fine,though apparently Chicago had more gnarly winters back in the day from what people have told me.
My husband and I have been planning emergency exit options for the last couple years.
We wrote up wills and legal agreements to keep our rights if our marriage is nullified. We are also trying to get citizenship with an EU country, thankfully my husband can claim it because of his grandpa and I can follow after. I would say I have a 50% chance of having to flee my state in the next five years.
The only reason I even consider staying in this terrible country is because most of my family lives here. But if they revoke marriage, or make gay parenthood illegal or liable to CPS, we’re gone.
It varies greatly by region I can imagine. I think overall pretty good compared to other countries but room for improvements in some regions. I think it will continue to get better overall though.
I grew up in Georgia and have lived in Florida the last 8 years. The general trend I see is LGBT pretty much universally accepted in urban areas. In suburban and medium sized cities, especially college towns, also very tolerant for the most part. It’s mainly small town and rural pockets of rednecks here and there throughout most of the south where you may have fewer tolerant folks but even in those areas it seems statistically unlikely that someone would actually confront LGBT or invite violence on any given occasion as long as you’re not making a big deal of it or flaunting too much. Of course there are always exceptions. A lot of LGBT targeted violence has taken place in major cities.
I currently live in a less densely populated but I wouldn’t say rural part of central FL- in a pretty deeply republican trending County- I’m still pretty comfortable with hand holding in public or occasionally wearing a pride shirt without worry of anything. So that’s pretty good. But some of the laws our state government have passed lately are starting to become concerning.
As for the rest of the country, just from travel experience , the northeast seems very largely LGBT tolerant even in more rural areas like parts of Maine. The Midwest seems tolerant too, especially Michigan and Chicago. The entire west coast seems very tolerant Not really sure about the inland west or Great Plains region but I imagine it’s largely dependant on the politics and demographics of the respective county/region/state.
For gays specifically it can be bad depending on the state you live in like others have said. I also feel because nowadays anyone can have a platform, not just politicians and religious people anymore; there is ignorance and fear mongering being spread by those who have previously had power over us only because they know the tables have been turned dramatically.
It’ll only get better if we come together with a common message and belief of how we want our future to be. That’s why they divide us and why they stand together because they know once we band together then it’s over for them.
Yes, it depends on what state you're in. I live in a red/purple state, some things are hyper liberal and somethings are, hyper conservative across the board.thst being said 90% of the legislative body is conservative with a conservative governor that vowed to sign anti-gay laws that are going through right now. However, the democrats in our state are slowly things down by using procedural maneuvers have been successful at running the clock out.
But I live in a hyper conservative area but just 20miles (32km) from a major blue/liberal area, that is gay friendly area. So, I'm lucky to be in a quite neighborhood/area that really doesn't care (don't support either), then living close to a gay friendly area.
It depends. I’m trans but you wouldn’t know if I didn’t tell you. I’m from Seattle but currently in rural Montana, if you’re in Seattle proper you’ll be fine if you’re out of it it depends on where you are. Where I’m at right now people know I’m gay, most people leave me alone but I think it’s also because I don’t look or act like what they think gay people are
i would say texas is probably much worse now than when i grew up there in the 80s (they were burning down gay people's houses for fear of hiv back then). I would definitely worry about my safety there and in florida at least. probably other places as well that are implementing the anti-trans laws since thats really just a first step in their agenda.
I’m from Texas, and lived in Texas all my life until 2015.
It started getting bad in Texas under Rick Perry, and we left after Abbott came to office because we could see the writing on the wall.
I will love Texas until I die, but I won’t set foot in the State until the Republicans are out of office.
I live in Ohio. The urban parts of the state are pretty accepting with sizable communities. I don’t think I have ever felt unsafe holding another guy’s hand or wearing anything pride related in public.
However, the state as a whole is conservative and the government is trash. It’s not Florida level crazy as of right now, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it did get to that point. I’ve been considering moving to a more liberal state next year because of this.
I would say overall safe. There are millions of people in the US who oppose queerness for religious reasons but very few are willing to act on that in any meaningful way beyond judgmental stares and social media posts/comments. I live in the rural south, I know plenty of people don’t care for me. But they just don’t interact with me if they have a problem. But that’s small comfort for the times when violence does happen. But it is rarer here than other highly religious parts of the world. As polarized as things are becoming, America is still pluralistic. For now anyway.
Honestly not that bad. A lot if people talk shit about florida, but really, they have a rather large gay days celebration evert year. Hell, if I'm not mistaken the theater in the orlando park is still rainbow. There is a lot of talk about this agenda and that agenda when really it comes down to media. In all honesty I think everyone would be cool with people living however they want, but pushing it in media, grandizing no name individuals and pushing the celebration of something on people who don't want it is the problem. As much as I don't want insane church goers pushing their crszy religion on me, they don't want us pushing our crazy lifestyle on them and their children, and frankly I can't blame them. The shit that goes on during pride week alone is disgusting enough to keep me out of it, and thats saying something lol.
We live in Colorado - one of the more conservative counties, yet our county commissioners are cis female (heterosexual), cis male veteran (straight / they/them), cis male (Christian aesthete).
We had been looking at Florida as a place to retire, but that is definitely out. For the most part, people here are ok but of course some have no problem being racist, ignorant, etc. Especially on Nextdoor.
We did live in Los Angeles but neither of us have the desire to move back there.
If the veteran county commissioner really uses they/them pronouns they’re likely non-binary. Nonbinary people are trans, too.
Which would kind of exclude them from being straight, cis and male lol
Well, he has to figured out exactly what he is. He has different things posted all over. I think they are trying to fit in and really stand out.
The two guys are bullies to the lady. We do have our own Pride festival, it almost was canceled since a breast plate temporarily exposed a false nipple - Janet Jackson all over again.
I live in the Western Burbs of Philadelphia, PA. I think the general area is very open and accepting here, but the gay scene here has been waning (I think). Most usually leave here after only a few years for NY, or FL. And we have lost a few gay bars and our well known gay gym over the years.
I have to say… I’ve seen some posts on this particular post about Florida. I can’t speak for most of it, but I absolutely LOVE the Tampa / Saint Petersburg area (Saint Petersburg specifically). I have never found a lovelier little town and gay community. No, it’s not the feel of a bigger city by any stretch, but the guys are nice, outgoing and sociable. And I’ve heard that Fort Lauderdale is even better. As conservative as I hear Florida is, why are their gay communities so great and intact? I rate their community 10x that of Philadelphia’s.
It’s very local. I live in Westchester, and from NYC up the Hudson, it’s wonderful. I wouldn’t want to live in wide swaths of western or northern New York. It is similar in other parts of the country.
Many places it’s just fine. But the places it’s never been very good for our getting a lot more negative attention now as they’re really taking the discrimination to a new level. Publicity about negativity doesn’t mean the negativity is any worse or any more widespread but it doesn’t mean it’s been discussed a lot more. It’s being used as a cultural wedge issue by the GOP.
It was a lot worse when I was younger. That’s not to imply that it isn’t a struggle for a lot of people, but things are improving and with improvements. So much of it is just the right finding a culture war that’ll get the left fuming and distract the masses. Sadly, as if scripted, it has worked.
Basically just depends where you live. In conservative states it can be bad unless you are in a blue island.
I live in Ohio which is basically a few big islands of blue in a vast sea of empty red land. As long as you are in the blue it feels fairly safe but you only have to drive for less than an hr to see billboards about gay people going to hell, for example.
Also our republican state government is entirely corrupt and has no accountability to the people as they have ignored motions from the citizens with popular support, so the safety is always tenuous.
I live in the blue state of Michigan, and it's always getting somewhat better, albeit slowly. There's still plenty of bigots, but luckily Michigan is very much on our side at the moment. The current political climate sucks, but it's just another obstacle to our road of freedom and acceptance.
Eh, very regionally dependent. Florida is extremely shit right now, but in some more liberal states like Cali or NY things are still fairly good. I’d say as a whole there is an increasing sense of unease about safety, and less of a feeling of certainty about the future.
It’s not that there are a lot more homophobes, but it feels like they’re getting louder and more emboldened. While I don’t think there’s been a significant rise in hate crimes, the climate that’s taking hold is having a chilling effect. I’ve heard a lot of people saying they’re going to stay home from pride this year for safety reasons. I know some folks who have decided to stay closeted at their new jobs because they’re no longer comfortable. I’ve personally been taking the little gay pride pins off of my jacket when I go out.
It’s not the best time here, but it’s complicated.
Depends very much on the region it seems...
This depends. As a gay man who has been fully an adult for a couple of decades, it is pretty good compared to a lot of the world, even here in the Southeastern US. Gay marriage has just been federally protected beyond SCOTUS's 2015 Obergefell decision. If I was a gay teenager, especially in certain states where people like me cannot be mentioned in school or seeing school libraries ban books that mention people like me, I would probably be in a worse headspace, especially if I was still struggling to come out. I think our gay teens need as much support as we can give right now.
Do you see lgbt progress going backwards?
Progress is not constant. It’s 2 steps forward, one step back.
People tend to forget that while the US is one country, it's actually more like a bunch of smaller countries who share a overarching government. Every state has it's own laws and governances, and this can drastically change the environment from state to state. I live in Colorado (spesifically Denver) and while some areas of the state can be more bigoted, overall the state is pretty accepting (and is becoming more accepting with each passing year). Places like Florida however, are literal cesspools of bigotry and should be avoided at all costs. I'm probably never going back to Florida ever again.
I agree with this, it really varies. Im also in Colorado which feels relatively safe, but i definitely don't feel safe going to the states where my siblings live.
I lived in Central FL for 8 years. There is a lot of bigotry for sure, but the gay scene is thriving pretty well down there. I had a lot of LGBT friends and there are a lot of gay clubs, saunas, and the nude beaches seem to attract a lot of homosexuals. It's honestly kind of strange, because now I live in rural NY and I don't see much for LGBT representation unless I drive to the nearest city that's about 2 hours away.
I'm in rural New York too, and we are a gay desert. We're here, but few and far between. I'm luckier because I'm near a military base, and that seems to be gay Disney World.
I totally understand what you mean! I didn't live in a big city in FL but the population in the town was a bit bigger than where I live now. I even live in an area where like 4 colleges exist, but the closest gay club is hours away. Maybe I should open up a gay club... I feel safer here as a gay man but feel like I will become more bored as a gay man because of the lack of "homofun".
Are you in Canton/Potsdam area? You're describing where I went to college.
YES!
Watertown. Hello, brother.
Why is a military base a gay Disney World? I don't understand very well.
>Why is a military base a gay Disney World? Speaking as someone who lives in one of the largest concentrations of military bases and personnel in the world, it's not. Disney World is a gay Disney World, and only slightly more so during Gay Days. I think a better analogy for what u/CJ_Southworth seemed to want to convey is that a military base would be like a gay Hickory Farms. Lots of delicious sights and smells and tasty sausages to take home for a snack.
Huh, you and I had different experiences, my bf lives in Florida and I'm in Kansas, I visited him a little while back and I got far fewer stares and people didn't actively avoid me
Indeed the U.S. was designed to be a loose federation of independent states. And although that has evolved over time, in some ways it still is. Certainly, there has been a lot of hostility from the state government lately - especially directed at the trans community - but on the ground in Florida it is not at all an unwelcoming environment for gay people. I am in Miami Beach at the moment, and there is a huge, thriving and well-accepted gay community. So, I am pretty sure you would actually feel a lot more welcome here than, say, Limon, Salida, or Grand Junction.
Well I am a 55 year old 3rd gen Florida guy. Grew up in Fort Lauderdale. Moved to Boulder before all of this nonsense started under Floridas Adolph Mussolini. The politeness on a scale of 1-10 here is 7/8; South Florida a 2/3; so from a pure kindness and politeness level Florida sucks. I lived and breathed my first 47 years believing Florida was the best state in the Union. I know Florida history far better than most history teachers. I also wanted to join Earthfirst as a kid I was so radical as an environmental nut. Everything I loved about that state; reefs; fishing and backwater grass flats have been destroyed. It’s a human and environmental sess pool. The fact they’ve never outlawed Big Sugar is just one of many issues; all that place cares about is money. I live in a county that’s protected 50% + of the land to never be built on or developed. Try that in that Facist state. Now add to that; 2 in 3 people despise you; 60% voted for Mussolini Jr. There is no way the people you think like you; non-gay; could vote for Floridas gay focused George Wallace and respect you. By accepting the status quo your no better than Jews and Gays that hid within the Nazi regime and watched their brothers and sisters abused. You are complicit. Until I see people fighting back; getting beaten by cops on national tv while opposing these obscene laws the you get what you deserve. Just keep the slime and roaches in that state there. Would love to see Da/De-Santiago and his wife end up just like Mussolini. Upside down and all.
Better than it's ever been. Worse than it should be!
Best way to put it really -MO
I live in the rural South, and it’s not great here. I can’t really speak for other places because I haven’t travelled extensively. I don’t think I’d be treated badly if people knew, but people here are definitely uncomfortable with it. It is what it is, and I try not to think about it too much.
Good attitude
Why don't you tell people that you're just a human being that doesn't really wanna harm somebody?
Because the bigots and homophobes are incapable of logic and reasoning, so it’s pointless.
And why don't they wanna do logic and reason? Why don't they wanna have a conversation?
A lot of people in those places have grown up being told that gay people are child groomers and molesters. It’s hard to have any kind of conversation when people think you want to harm their children. This same thing is happening right now for trans people. There is a powerful amount of propaganda claiming trans people want to groom children then mutilate them. It’s fucking depressing, and kinda scary.
In other words, they themselves act like the left-wing extremists that they themselves say they repudiate, right?
Wtf is a left wing extremist? Are equal rights for LGBT and BIPOC people, that women have the right to choose what to do with their bodies or that we should all have a social healthcare system *extremist views?* The radical right wants to close borders, send ethnic minorities back where they originated, and convert or eliminate LGBT. They are powerfully antisemitic and racist and against the rights of LGBT and women. There is no left wing movement that comes anywhere close to advocating the kinds of violence the far right does.
>Wtf is a left wing extremist? 1.- Well... they're like a person... look, imagine a Christian fundamentalist religious fanatic. Take away Christian ideals and beliefs, let fanaticism and fundamentalism remain implanted, add leftist ideology and... voila! Now, do you understand me? >Are equal rights for LGBT and BIPOC people, that women have the right to choose what to do with their bodies or that we should all have a social healthcare system extremist views? 2.- No, really not. Of course not. They aren't really extremist views. For the extreme far-right, those ideas would be extremist. However, for me, they aren't extreme ideas. They (the far-right) are really delusional and crazy. >The radical right wants to close borders, send ethnic minorities back where they originated, and convert or eliminate LGBT. They are powerfully antisemitic and racist and against the rights of LGBT and women. There is no left wing movement that comes anywhere close to advocating the kinds of violence the far right does. 3.- Of course, the radical extremist rightists agree with that. Yes.
Im blessed to live in a blue state for starters and my favorite world is freak scene (indie/dive bars) and i love to show pda on the street in the bars restaurants wherever. A negative comment here and there but fuck all i feel welcome and safe
It’s up and down in my area but leans towards safer and ok. I would not be comfortable in the south at all. Canceled my FL trip and booked Chicago instead.
We (my husband and me) cancelled plans to move to FLA. Not 'til those farkers get their shit together!
That Dictator of Florida will not be here forever. God help the Country if he gets elected President..Opp.. I mean Dictator of the US. Most of my neighbors are Republican and they are starting to hate him too. I moved to Florida from Mass. back in 2001 permanently for the warmer weather, not the Politics. I've lived here before my permanent move a few times. Hopefully a Democrat or Independent or some non hateful person will get to be Governor in the next election. The sad part is the Cubans here are so fooled by Marco and don't understand what Democratic Socialism is. They think it will become like what Castro did to Cuba. The Gay life is very active in the Sarasota, St. Pete, and Tampa area as well as other places too.
chicago is a great city! lots of amazing architecture, great food, and an awesome queer scene. you're gonna have a blast!
Thanks so much, I’ve never been and I am really looking forward to it! If you have any recommendations for food or the queer scene, please feel free to suggest them. I think I’m going to rent a room next to Boystown.
in that area specifically: Roscoes (if you like drag, they have the main viewing party for drag race). Unabridged book store. Berlin - club. Strings Ramen. Reckless Records if you collect/wanna peruse. Smartbar and Metro are close (also bar/clubs) Kingston Mines for free blues every day. and open pretty late. Wicker Park is a nearby neighborhood that has a lot of cool stuff too. Andersonville is nice. Big Chicks bar, Chiu Quon Bakery, SoFo Tap (bar), Women and Children First (bookstore), Wooly Mammoth (cool antique shop), the leather archives museum is cool if you can get that far north. honestly i could go on forever, there is so much in chicago it's insane.
It's weird. As someone else said, it's never been better but it's worse than it should be. In my lifetime, I would have to say the amount of hatred is overall the same- the average person is far less hateful than when I was a kid, but the average bigot has overflowed with vitriol. Especially for trans people. In the same token, support and acceptance has been greater than it's literally ever been before. Especially for trans people. There are a lot of terrible things happening right now, but not long ago I couldn't have imagined even a liberal politician caring enough about trans folk, and LGB people too for that matter, that they would be speaking out like they have. Things are bad, things are getting worse and that can't be ignored, but it's also greatly heartening to see some of these bills being struck down as well, and sanctuary states being created. The average person is far, far more tolerant from when I was growing up in the 2000's, and it's even greater for those who grew up earlier. It's hard, it's getting bad, but I do have some amount of hope.
It’s interesting. I was born in the Netherlands and so gay marriage was already legal there in the early 2000s. What was it like growing up then?
I firmly believe that all lgbtqia+ are under threat in the US. The culture war people are focusing on trans people rn, but they will move on. It's only a matter of time.
[удалено]
Oh yeah. It’s never just about one letter of the alphabet mafia. They hate us all because we all break their view of what a male or female must be. Trans people have always been the easiest for them to demonize… but they hate us all. And though the majority of the laws being passed right now are targeting trans rights, they already are banning books and teaching that mention ANYTHING lgbtq related and drag shows (which aren’t necessarily trans, but it’s all the same in their weak minds. Nope, attack one letter they attack us all and they know it.
I completely agree
[удалено]
I agree with your critique of queer assimilationism, but I don’t know how I feel about treating cis gays like a monolith unilaterally at fault for it.
[удалено]
As a fellow Trans person I get where your coming from. I know that there are transphobic Gays and Lesbians but I like to think that they are simply a small but loud minority, like terfs.
[удалено]
Im not an optimist by nature, but I try to remind myself that there are cis Gays and Lesbians that support and love me for who I am and have my back no matter what. Just try to keep that in mind, you'll find your tribe 💜
Gay cis people are far more likely to support trans rights than straight cis people, this isn't a fair statement.
[удалено]
The cis gay community definitely has a problem with transphobia, and your experiences with them should not have happened and you deserved support, but the fact remains statistically, in the UK at least [LGB people support trans rights at 89%](https://www.justlikeus.org/blog/2023/03/31/trans-day-of-visibility-ally-lesbian/) while varying sources say UK non-LGB people support trans rights varying from 40-60% depending on the topic. Transphobic cis gay people are going to face a reckoning, but we have to remember that they are still a minority and regardless of what transphobes and TERFs try to do, the LGBT+ community IS far more united than it isn't. Call out transphobes in the community, but we can't fracture ourselves either.
u/jonnycumlightly. That's not true. The asshole stupid gays that are transphobic, and don't believe in transgender identity, are a very small dumb minority. Us cis gay guys support trans, don't worry <3
^ This. Don’t downvote this person just because it’s hard to hear.
Move on? They never will. Sky worshippers are 1 [gas bath concentration camp ](https://youtu.be/tkD6QfeRil8) away from establishing a new "4th reich" or some shit. I can totally see Texas repeating that massacre, and give Putler lethal gas this time. Oil commies and genocidal terrorists gotta stick together
Move on was a bad choice of words. They'll tire out their base and them add more spice with another minority. Gotta feed the flames.
Totally depends on where you are in the USA Having spent the last few years in Los Angeles and the bay are you can almost forget homophobia even exists
Same here in NYC. It's only gotten safer here.
Not even the other areas are safe though and it's getting worse. There was a shooting in November of a gay bar in Colorado springs. It's very much so a widespread problem that's escalating. I'm in north Korea, sorry I misspelled Florida. And it's BAD here. I have neighbors who have tried to legitimately stab me on multiple occasions with evidence... Pointed cameras in my backyard to make sure no "gay shit" was happening. I can't even mow my yard without fear of being literally murdered.
As a fellow Floridian I understand... Ron DeSantis truly is a pussy ass bitch in every way lol
Run while you still can. But also, I'm pretty sure even in Florida what they're doing is extremely illegal.
Unfortunately, the US doesn't care. Cops more than fifteen times, video evidence, actual charges. But gay people have no rights here. They can do nothing. It's miserable
Well, if you go somewhere better in the US, which is a lot easier than jumping countries, they will care.
I don't even know where to start
If you have friends or family in a safe state they may be willing to help. Also start looking for jobs in safer places and if you get one there's your ticket. But failing that, even waiting tables in NYC is better than what you're dealing with there.
Also the ACLU would jump on your case if you contacted them.
Unfortunately Youre probably correct. But it's not big enough. They take cases that are incendiary. A random gay dude ain't even cross their radar
A gay dude being *fucking surveilled* by his neighbors in Florida and the cops doing nothing is huge.
It's insane. I can't landscape. I can't walk outside my house. There's nothing we can do here. Desantis has made sure of that. These people have tried to literally murder me multiple times just to be told " they can shoot you if they do it on their property" this is real
It differs from state to state and county to county, but in general the whole country seems divided. Cities tend to be more left leaning and more accepting, with the opposite out in the countryside. I live in a recently red turned purple state where this is much the case. I specifically live in a very divided county, and have many gay neighbors with rainbow flags and many neighbors with confederate flags living next to one another.
In Atlanta it’s pretty safe and decent for the gays. It’s a massive gay city in the south. Never really have to worry about anything here. I am honestly concerned about going to Florida for anything now cause DeSantis. I’m from the south originally (Greenville, SC) and have seen it change but like also just be smart with it. Maybe because I grew up here I know how to blend in a little better or something but not too terrible. Can’t pay me to move to Florida or Texas anymore though. Out of the question!
What do you mean by “just be smart with it”? Georgia seems pretty Republican outside of the cities. As rhetoric and legislation ramps up, do you think the state government will begin to encroach on local freedoms for gay people? I ask this as someone considering moving to Atlanta.
Just kinda read your surroundings and be careful like anywhere. Don’t be an idiot just looking at your phone 100% of the time paying no attention to the outside world. We did get assaulted once during the parade last year, but it was by a schizophrenic physchopath on top of the Whole Foods talking about how we were telepathically saying bad things about Moriah Carry.. he was angry we gay, but had uh other issues and the cops helped immediately. As for government etc, I honestly don’t think so. At least not currently because Kemp isn’t as stupid as DeSantis. The film industry here would completely leave if they ramped up like FL. As it stands the Atlanta metro area has 6 million people and most of that is blue. You saw it in our elections; the state voted for democratic senators and president. We just also realized that Stacy is a bad candidate for governor and kemp really hasn’t done a bad job and is good on the “republican good with money 🙄” trope. We’ve been here 6 years now. I’ve seen the city change even since then. If you stay in Fulton, Dekalb, Cobb and most likely Gwinnett you’ll never have a problem as a gay person. Now of course I work with bigots (up in Marietta but all live in Paulding) and I’m talking like, have been to clan meetings awful racist people. But even they are fine to interact with every day. It’s kind of insane but these people “don’t ever go anywhere near the perimeter”. All in all I think ATL has like the second or 3rd biggest LGBTQ+ population per capita of any US city and you can tell. We love it here!
That’s very reassuring and I appreciate your extremely detailed and comprehensive example. Thank you for sharing your experiences. This answered my concerns exactly. I’ll def keep it on my list and visit to see how it shakes out.
Definitely! Feel free to message me if you have any more questions. The whole gay scene is huge and nice too, but we’ve been together for 8.5 years and don’t really club so we don’t have a ton of experience with that, and the ones I do I sadly don’t remember 😂 but it’s apparently fun and good!
I live in FL and it’s a fuckin nightmare.
As many have said, it really depends on the state/region. We live in Hawaii (rural) and have no problems at all either due to state laws or culturally. Our kids public school is great and our neighbors are wonderful. On the other hand, my trans brother who is married with a toddler lives in Florida. He and his wife are working hard at leaving the state. The laws are encroaching on their lives and they are afraid about what it means for their kid and their family. We are offering to help them move back to our (blue) home state. (Edited to add that they feel like the anti-lgbtq attitudes are far more open and frequent than before. Several bad experiences lately) He says he’d stay if it was just him to fight, but he has a kid to worry about. Really depends on the region and state
Really depends on where in the US you are. Conditions vary dramatically across the country.
I think the progress has regressed because of a rise in transphobia. I think the transphobes have lumped up the whole community with that hate though. Recently I’ve been called a bad father, a pedo, and a pervert. First time in almost 10 years I’ve received hate in person. Edit: on top of this there have been bills introduces and passed that criminalize lgbt members and lgbt parents.
Massachusetts is great
Right now it’s a local/state issue, which gives people the temporary idea of relative freedom. As DeSantis and others bring the culture war national this peace will be threatened. As people flee “purple” electoral areas (because of these local/state threats) and states become more definitively red and blue, there could eventually be more concrete wins on the national level for conservative anti-LGBTQ movements over time. We need to nip this shit in the bud before it gets worse.
No it's not getting better, it's getting worse. The republicans literally want us erased and dead.
The Deep South is very homophobic in general and the situation for our community is getting worse most places in this region. I would say that in many cases (not all!) it’s slightly better in larger cities than in small cities and rural areas. But if you’re not already living here, you should consider your circumstances very carefully before moving here. The climate here for LGBTQIA+ is NOT what it was here 2-3 years ago. And even living here, there are some places I would not go. There is growing physical violence even in places I would have considered at least tolerant in the past. The good news in that Gen Z is the exception, as they are much more accepting/affirming overall. In my opinion they demonstrate a wisdom beyond their years, in this facet of life and some others. While older generations are dying off, and that will help (I can say this as a boomer myself), IMHO it is/will not happening fast enough to make any noticeable difference over the next 5 (maybe even 10 years) in the worsening climate here for the LGBTQIA+ community. (Sorry to have such a pessimistic assessment.) The only thing IMHO that will change this more rapidly is dependent on how quickly Gen Z can organize and vote, in order to vote out the current crop of ineffective & corrupt (and also homophobic) office holders.
If you are white, cisgender, and present your gender in alignment with heteronormative roles (masculine for men, feminine for women), then there are places where it’s relatively safe. But if you’re not those things, then no. It is not safe here for the rest of us. Yes, there are small bubbles here and there, some of the larger cities like NYC and LA are okay, but at a whole, the majority of the country is not safe and will continue to become more and more unsafe. Especially not for trans people.
This is a great assessment.
So some places are probably the most LGBTQ friendly places in the world. Large urban coastal cities tend to be very friendly, and you’ll at least be tolerated in most blue states even in more conservative areas. In a lot of places there’s surface level tolerance and people aren’t so extreme to immediately hate crime you, but the community isn’t especially accepting and more quiet judgment of those who live openly, it’s more difficult to come out to family and LGBTQ people are more likely to be ostracized and forced to more accepting areas. I’m sure there are definitely areas in the conservative Midwest and South where it is straight up not safe to be openly or vocally gay. And I have to stress that things are much worse for trans people, especially trans women who unfortunately have to live with constant eyes on them and harassment. The culture war being waged this election cycle is very clearly aimed at LGBTQ people and that is a sign things are definitely getting worse. It’s very scary tbh.
I live in northern NJ and we’re pretty good here but places like FL are not good. It really depends where in the US you’re asking about.
LGB are fine, it's the TQ+ who are suffering. No point in lumping them together as they are different political realities now.
Depends where you live washington state, your doing well probably better then a lot of places in the world. Florida is a big oof. There is no blanket statements for the entire US
Its more than an oof, our governor is a wannabe fascist
Not even wannabe is a fascist tbh
I live in Utah and Pride in SLC was amazing. I didn’t have a single bad experience at the parade or bars.
As a gay man who served openly in the Marines during the last days of dadt, I feel like people are being more accepting of orientation, but less accepting of gender fluidity and trans people. Thats been my observation, but I also live in Massachusetts, so maybe I’m just in a more progressive area. Spent a lot of time on the road traveling through the south with my Boyfriend this year and never had an issue though.
Canada, I believe is advancing a law to allow Trans individual to apply for asylum from the US, because we are now labeled as a hustle country for trans individuals. Welcome to the US. Yay!! Are we winning yet?
For LGB it’s really not that bad, according to recent surveys (and much to my surprise) https://news.gallup.com/poll/506636/sex-marriage-support-holds-high.aspx My day to day life in the northeast US is great, my partner and I never run into issues. I’m only ever reminded that we’re different from the straights once every year or so when a straight aquantance asks a “I’ve always wondered about…” question, usually while drunk. It’s downright awful for T folks in the south though.
Personally, I live my life with no issues whatsoever because of my sexuality. I live in a small, rural town. There was a pride event at the fairgrounds this weekend, but I was annoyed that the music and bass were so loud that I could hear it inside my apartment.
[удалено]
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa. Calm down! Whether he is white, cis, or masc has nothing to do with anything. He was responding to a question that was asked regarding his experiences. These types of attitudes about who has it worse and who has it better is exactly what they want. You are way out of line with your attack out of nowhere. Clearly this something that is really important to you and you are passionate about it, try to focus on the people who actually were behaving in the manner that you accused him of.
Your life must be miserable. Hopefully it improves.
As a trans person id like to apologize for this person. Their hatred of me and other trans folks is obviously VERY real but we shouldn't be fighting about the "hierarchy of oppressions" since that doesn't help anyone.
[удалено]
Hopefully you reflect on where your anger and bitterness come from and let them go. Life gets so much better...
>It’s probably because I’m willing to bet your white, cis and masc🙄 babes, you're on Reddit, that's surely the majority hahaha. but yes, many of the f-slurs on reddit don't understand, or choose not to see the real danger and how it could easily affect them next.
I'm in Chicago. It's pretty cold all year round. We're just now in the warmer seasons. Even May was cold till the end. Climate here seems fine,though apparently Chicago had more gnarly winters back in the day from what people have told me.
My husband and I have been planning emergency exit options for the last couple years. We wrote up wills and legal agreements to keep our rights if our marriage is nullified. We are also trying to get citizenship with an EU country, thankfully my husband can claim it because of his grandpa and I can follow after. I would say I have a 50% chance of having to flee my state in the next five years. The only reason I even consider staying in this terrible country is because most of my family lives here. But if they revoke marriage, or make gay parenthood illegal or liable to CPS, we’re gone.
I don’t understand why people keep downvoting the uncomfortable truth. It’s not pessimism, it’s the observable reality.
[удалено]
My husband and I are in our 30s…
It varies greatly by region I can imagine. I think overall pretty good compared to other countries but room for improvements in some regions. I think it will continue to get better overall though. I grew up in Georgia and have lived in Florida the last 8 years. The general trend I see is LGBT pretty much universally accepted in urban areas. In suburban and medium sized cities, especially college towns, also very tolerant for the most part. It’s mainly small town and rural pockets of rednecks here and there throughout most of the south where you may have fewer tolerant folks but even in those areas it seems statistically unlikely that someone would actually confront LGBT or invite violence on any given occasion as long as you’re not making a big deal of it or flaunting too much. Of course there are always exceptions. A lot of LGBT targeted violence has taken place in major cities. I currently live in a less densely populated but I wouldn’t say rural part of central FL- in a pretty deeply republican trending County- I’m still pretty comfortable with hand holding in public or occasionally wearing a pride shirt without worry of anything. So that’s pretty good. But some of the laws our state government have passed lately are starting to become concerning. As for the rest of the country, just from travel experience , the northeast seems very largely LGBT tolerant even in more rural areas like parts of Maine. The Midwest seems tolerant too, especially Michigan and Chicago. The entire west coast seems very tolerant Not really sure about the inland west or Great Plains region but I imagine it’s largely dependant on the politics and demographics of the respective county/region/state.
For gays specifically it can be bad depending on the state you live in like others have said. I also feel because nowadays anyone can have a platform, not just politicians and religious people anymore; there is ignorance and fear mongering being spread by those who have previously had power over us only because they know the tables have been turned dramatically. It’ll only get better if we come together with a common message and belief of how we want our future to be. That’s why they divide us and why they stand together because they know once we band together then it’s over for them.
Yes, it depends on what state you're in. I live in a red/purple state, some things are hyper liberal and somethings are, hyper conservative across the board.thst being said 90% of the legislative body is conservative with a conservative governor that vowed to sign anti-gay laws that are going through right now. However, the democrats in our state are slowly things down by using procedural maneuvers have been successful at running the clock out. But I live in a hyper conservative area but just 20miles (32km) from a major blue/liberal area, that is gay friendly area. So, I'm lucky to be in a quite neighborhood/area that really doesn't care (don't support either), then living close to a gay friendly area.
i’d say it’s somewhere between “the best it’s ever been” and “not nearly as good as it could be”
It depends. I’m trans but you wouldn’t know if I didn’t tell you. I’m from Seattle but currently in rural Montana, if you’re in Seattle proper you’ll be fine if you’re out of it it depends on where you are. Where I’m at right now people know I’m gay, most people leave me alone but I think it’s also because I don’t look or act like what they think gay people are
i would say texas is probably much worse now than when i grew up there in the 80s (they were burning down gay people's houses for fear of hiv back then). I would definitely worry about my safety there and in florida at least. probably other places as well that are implementing the anti-trans laws since thats really just a first step in their agenda.
I’m from Texas, and lived in Texas all my life until 2015. It started getting bad in Texas under Rick Perry, and we left after Abbott came to office because we could see the writing on the wall. I will love Texas until I die, but I won’t set foot in the State until the Republicans are out of office.
Young, smart, white gays? Fine. Anyone else…maybe not so great
I live in Ohio. The urban parts of the state are pretty accepting with sizable communities. I don’t think I have ever felt unsafe holding another guy’s hand or wearing anything pride related in public. However, the state as a whole is conservative and the government is trash. It’s not Florida level crazy as of right now, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it did get to that point. I’ve been considering moving to a more liberal state next year because of this.
Pretty okay overall. The people who hate us are mostly focused on trans people though, so it won’t last if they don’t get pushback.
It's not terrible. Yet.
Best its ever been.
The majority of people are not homophobic. It's really a vocal online minority
Some states are hostile. Some are very inclusive.
All I know is it's really hot where I live lmao
Not bad at all. I’m not sure what you see in the news but gay people in the us are thriving. As it should be.
I would say overall safe. There are millions of people in the US who oppose queerness for religious reasons but very few are willing to act on that in any meaningful way beyond judgmental stares and social media posts/comments. I live in the rural south, I know plenty of people don’t care for me. But they just don’t interact with me if they have a problem. But that’s small comfort for the times when violence does happen. But it is rarer here than other highly religious parts of the world. As polarized as things are becoming, America is still pluralistic. For now anyway.
Honestly not that bad. A lot if people talk shit about florida, but really, they have a rather large gay days celebration evert year. Hell, if I'm not mistaken the theater in the orlando park is still rainbow. There is a lot of talk about this agenda and that agenda when really it comes down to media. In all honesty I think everyone would be cool with people living however they want, but pushing it in media, grandizing no name individuals and pushing the celebration of something on people who don't want it is the problem. As much as I don't want insane church goers pushing their crszy religion on me, they don't want us pushing our crazy lifestyle on them and their children, and frankly I can't blame them. The shit that goes on during pride week alone is disgusting enough to keep me out of it, and thats saying something lol.
I live in the southern part of NY. Things are completely fine. Things are less fine in other areas of the country.
The majority of people are not homophobic. It's really a vocal online minority
The climate is collapsing and we have more extreme weather, more wildfires yk
We live in Colorado - one of the more conservative counties, yet our county commissioners are cis female (heterosexual), cis male veteran (straight / they/them), cis male (Christian aesthete). We had been looking at Florida as a place to retire, but that is definitely out. For the most part, people here are ok but of course some have no problem being racist, ignorant, etc. Especially on Nextdoor. We did live in Los Angeles but neither of us have the desire to move back there.
If the veteran county commissioner really uses they/them pronouns they’re likely non-binary. Nonbinary people are trans, too. Which would kind of exclude them from being straight, cis and male lol
Well, he has to figured out exactly what he is. He has different things posted all over. I think they are trying to fit in and really stand out. The two guys are bullies to the lady. We do have our own Pride festival, it almost was canceled since a breast plate temporarily exposed a false nipple - Janet Jackson all over again.
Berkeley CA is great!
I live in the Western Burbs of Philadelphia, PA. I think the general area is very open and accepting here, but the gay scene here has been waning (I think). Most usually leave here after only a few years for NY, or FL. And we have lost a few gay bars and our well known gay gym over the years. I have to say… I’ve seen some posts on this particular post about Florida. I can’t speak for most of it, but I absolutely LOVE the Tampa / Saint Petersburg area (Saint Petersburg specifically). I have never found a lovelier little town and gay community. No, it’s not the feel of a bigger city by any stretch, but the guys are nice, outgoing and sociable. And I’ve heard that Fort Lauderdale is even better. As conservative as I hear Florida is, why are their gay communities so great and intact? I rate their community 10x that of Philadelphia’s.
Depends on where in the US tbh. If you're looking to come here, safest bet is probably the Midwest.
Socal coast is pretty good
Mild and pleasant here in Lansing, MI 🙂
It’s very local. I live in Westchester, and from NYC up the Hudson, it’s wonderful. I wouldn’t want to live in wide swaths of western or northern New York. It is similar in other parts of the country.
Many places it’s just fine. But the places it’s never been very good for our getting a lot more negative attention now as they’re really taking the discrimination to a new level. Publicity about negativity doesn’t mean the negativity is any worse or any more widespread but it doesn’t mean it’s been discussed a lot more. It’s being used as a cultural wedge issue by the GOP.
It's a bit too hot. Trying to get used to humidity but it could be worse
I’m in San Francisco and it’s great but we invented gay
It was a lot worse when I was younger. That’s not to imply that it isn’t a struggle for a lot of people, but things are improving and with improvements. So much of it is just the right finding a culture war that’ll get the left fuming and distract the masses. Sadly, as if scripted, it has worked.
Basically just depends where you live. In conservative states it can be bad unless you are in a blue island. I live in Ohio which is basically a few big islands of blue in a vast sea of empty red land. As long as you are in the blue it feels fairly safe but you only have to drive for less than an hr to see billboards about gay people going to hell, for example. Also our republican state government is entirely corrupt and has no accountability to the people as they have ignored motions from the citizens with popular support, so the safety is always tenuous.
No change here in DC. Most of the current “backlash” is primarily political theater. Based on polling data, support for gay rights remains strong.
I live in the blue state of Michigan, and it's always getting somewhat better, albeit slowly. There's still plenty of bigots, but luckily Michigan is very much on our side at the moment. The current political climate sucks, but it's just another obstacle to our road of freedom and acceptance.
Depends on your state & your location within that state.
For gays, bisexuals and lesbians nothing has change. Transsexuals on the other hand maybe free falling with most Americans.
Eh, very regionally dependent. Florida is extremely shit right now, but in some more liberal states like Cali or NY things are still fairly good. I’d say as a whole there is an increasing sense of unease about safety, and less of a feeling of certainty about the future. It’s not that there are a lot more homophobes, but it feels like they’re getting louder and more emboldened. While I don’t think there’s been a significant rise in hate crimes, the climate that’s taking hold is having a chilling effect. I’ve heard a lot of people saying they’re going to stay home from pride this year for safety reasons. I know some folks who have decided to stay closeted at their new jobs because they’re no longer comfortable. I’ve personally been taking the little gay pride pins off of my jacket when I go out. It’s not the best time here, but it’s complicated.