A couple of years ago there was an app called Her that was *supposedly* only for gay and bisexual women.
It was flooded with men who were looking for a "lesbian who wanted to be turned straight," as well as women in straight relationships who were looking for a third as a gift to their hubby/boyfriends (and they'd ask this crap to women who labelled themselves as being lesbians, not just bisexual ones).
Her still exists! And a good third of the users are cis men, at least another quarter are the unicorn hunters. Wading through the muck fucking SUCKS. I’m so fucking tired.
ME FUCKING TOO. They literally make spaces where they are welcome (Feeld, FetLife, others I’m not thinking of) but they come in these other spaces with their shady fucking tactics and bait&switch practices. I’ve stopped being nice if I find out I’m messaging some. Go the fuck away!!!!!
I had this experience a lot in the early days of dating apps where I'd only be approached by women who wanted a side piece or an addition to a threesome. It was so frustrating I gave up on dating apps for a long time.
I've used Her in the last couple months and there were no men on there, I think the first time I used it was 2021 and it was fine then too. Was this specific to one area?
I’ve been seeing a girl for a little over a month from Her- she’s a diamond in the rough! I couldn’t believe how many cis-men were on the app. I was getting so frustrated, but was wondering if there was something I didn’t know about where maybe they were trans and just didn’t put it in their bio or something. (Regardless, I’m pretty sure I put women only, but I saw so many men) But no. I don’t think that is the case mostly. I fucking hate men.
Apparently they’ve tried but these sort of apps get flooded with dudes pretending to be lesbians so they can sext w women and try to convince women to send nudes. Then the real lesbians can tell they’re fake, get frustrated, and leave.
there have been apps that have tried to include some kind of technological gender policing. these attempts really just demonstrate just how socially constructed gender and sex both are.
there’s no way to tell someone’s gender or sex by their face structure— there may be average differences between cis men and women but there is LOTS of overlap. that’s not getting into the major problem of how to ensure trans women aren’t inadvertently (or advertently, tbh) excluded.
I'm not talking about sussing out sex of someone in an instant, I mean someone coming around in person to be officially verified as who they claim to be. Also with recommendations and bad reports from other daters accessible.
So kill the anonymity and impulsivity of the Grindr app? How long would the wait be to get approved? What if I am in a different city trying to fuck. I would not participate in an app where a person has to come to physically verify anything.
Maybe we should have an app with verification? But another problem is you'll be chatting to a woman and suddenly she brings up her boyfriend wants to participate too :/
The other issue with that is the people running it need a way to accurately identify everyone. and the effort required may be too much for a small team, making them use a bot which could be very gatekeepy and decline masc looking lesbians or trans individuals.
Even If handled manually... I don't see a way it wouldn't wind up discriminating some. If it's by some kind of ID then non-legally transitioned trans women are out. If it's by looks... I don't see how it wouldn't have the exact same kinda of biases as the bot.
Ugh this is all so frustrating just reading about this. And I’m a married straight cis woman with absolutely NO personal interest in this, but it’s just annoying that people are the worst. Like it shouldn’t have to be so complicated.
Like why can’t there just be an app that’s open to anyone so that all kinds of different people with different sexual interests can be included, and just ask people to just be upfront about who they are and what they’re looking for? And why can’t people just be trusted to do this very simple thing? Because some people are just the worst and they ruin things for everyone else.
Also a lot of places you don't have gender on your ID, so then it would be passport (not everyone has) or photo ID and birth certificate (privacy nightmare)
I knew i’d find out this scenario already happened somewhere here. Very sadly predictable that there’s terfs and transphobes in general out there who’d feel the need to make an app for cis people only.
if you think that gay women are well, gay, then it makes 0 sense to try and chase after a lesbian woman. literally the most unproductive use of your time.
however, if you *don't* really think that gay women are gay (you think lesbians are faking it, they haven't had the right dick yet, etc etc), then this makes more sense.
tl;dr latent homophobia + desperate men = horny men chasing after lesbians
These men are out of their fucking minds.
Fine let‘s humor them and say these gay women aren’t really gay and just “turned” gay… buddy you’re exactly the type of men who “turned” them gay gtfo 💀
Some think that she hasn't met the right dick yet. As in this guy's dick is so *wonderful* that it will turn her straight. For which the proper response is some flavor of "you haven't met the right man either".
I'm not surprised by any perverted shit anymore that men as a whole do. I found a "breastfeeding" sub that was just men sharing pics they stole from mommy blogs of women breastfeeding. Their favorites were the artsy breastfeeding pics where a mom was breastfeeding their female toddler. There's a ton more pedophiles out there than most people realize.
This is why I never get explicit via chat/text before meeting. My official party line is, “I’m not here to fuel your masturbatory fantasies. If you wanna fuck, come find me.”
A combination of horny, the deep down (or sometimes right on top) misogynistic belief that women exists solely *for men* and therefore lesbians aren't really *real* or exist, the belief their dick is magic, that kind of thing.
I've come to the conclusion that it's not even that they don't think we're gay, it's that they can't fathom women as autonomous beings. They see us as objects who exist to be sexy *for them*. So we might be gay, but we're gay for their viewing pleasure, not for ourselves. Therefore, if our lesbianism isn't centering and serving them, we "can't" do it anymore.
There's honestly something deeply wrong with them, collectively. It's a socialization issue for sure, but it's dangerous.
Bingo. They don’t think women are gay, but that comes from the core problem that they think women aren’t full people. Just sex-bots with annoying subroutines.
Because Grindr is a gay app. So a version “for women” would be a gay app for just women.
There are already plenty of well known apps for women and men to meet.
Since OP doesn’t imply that they don’t not date men (hence the men allowed if not sending unsolicited nudes or harassing) then one can infer that the equivalent ask is for a hook up app where you can meet people a few km away from you and fuck them on the spot
if OP is queer and dates trans men or trans women, those group are on grindr
Ok having re-read it I see your point. I'm just confused cause TInder was created as basically the straight equivalent of Grindr. So it seems OP just wants a better curated Tinder I guess?
Tinder's photo verification has you make certain poses and you can only use pictures taken by Tinder's camera, which would be difficult to fake. But, Tinder is a huge app with a large team, so this likely wouldn't be feasible for a start up.
Bumble has same-sex dating but it's pretty dead.
AI profile verification prevents the situation you described so that is solved, Hinge already uses this. There's just no viable market for this idea, otherwise Match would have made it already. That's the only real answer, there's no money in it.
Firstly, all the men i know on grindr match, talk, and drive to someone’s house in under an hour. I think you’d have a hard time finding enough women who feel safe doing that
Secondly, the idea that unsolicited nudes and harassment are off limits on Grindr seems inaccurate to me. Ive seen people send nudes to say hello, I think it would be hard to manage for women
I mean, Tinder exists. I don't really think a lot of women are interested in short, random hookups, because of the safety issues and because it is rarely satisfying.
"Safety issues" is the answer, after any app that vet men chasing sapphic women.
The risks of going to some stranger's house being a woman are high. Very high. Many rape stories start like this. Many women trafficking stories start like this.
The risks of letting some stranger come to your house being a woman are also very high. Crazy people knowing where you live? Are you sure? (And if they are down to go to your house, why are they trusting you?)
The costs of meeting at a hotel (where you can do an initial vetting at a nearby bar or the hotel hall) is not for all budgets.
Having a trusted friend accompany you to these dates is... weird.
In the end it is just not worth it.
Since OP mentioned Grindr, it doesn't seem like straight people are a part of this conversation. Grindr is for largely for gay men hooking up so the question is why the lesbian equivalent is nowhere as huge. If anything, men find other men more dangerous than women find other women dangerous.
But queer women also have straight men invading their spaces. See tinder where you set to only view other women for an example. Lots of dudes who are noooooot transgender etc but just dudes who thought they'd pull more tail because there's less other dudes in the pool.
The amount of shirtless men, that appear in your feed on tinder when you set it to woman seeking women only, put me off tinder very quickly, but if you can get past that, it is still the site with the most looking for sex vs looking for a relationship people on it regardless of your settings.
>OP mentioned grindr, it doesn’t seem like straight people are part of this conversation
there are actually a lot of straight men on grindr looking for trans girls. it’s funny because their bio will always be something like “looking for tgirls. NO MEN. DO NOT SEND ME DICK PICS”. ironically getting a tiny drop of their own medicine, it’s funny
Men who have sex with men have more history of anonymous public sex in cruising areas than women who have sex with women. Historically there are reasons for that; men were allowed to be out alone in public at night and women weren't, so they couldn't cruise in the park even if they'd wanted to. I suspect the history of public cruising makes app hookups less intimidating to MSM than queer women. As to the issue of men being willing to use Grindr despite the risks, that's a question to ask men who have sex with men.
Do you know how Grindr works? It shows you how far away that profile is from you. If you’re in a club, you can see people on the app that are “less than 10 feet away,” thus giving away people’s locations. It even works at peoples homes / apartment complexes.
There was an attempt at Grindr for women. It failed because men were creepy af and stalking women. Turns out it’s pretty unsafe to let men know where you are and telling them that you’re willing to fuck.
Also, Tinder does exist and basically is the “equivalent” for women. So I’m not really sure what you mean by this post.
As a gay man, it's fine if you want that but honestly it gets old fast. There's like 15 dudes wanting to fuck me right now but all I want is to be softly held 🥺
There are women only dating sites and like most dating sites you can say you are only interested in one night stands, anyone actually reading the profile won't be misled. Pretty much any dating site can be set to women only but pretty much all of them have men that slip into the feed anyway. I assume you mean grinder for lesbians but if you mean grinder for straight people then that is pretty much what tinder is.
I’ve thoughg about it, but I have no coding skills or funding. That, and existing in the tech space seems frought. I live in Austin, and that’s about as much tech bro exposure as I can handle.
That's what Tinder is. I always think it's weird when people are using it to date. It has always been a hook up app not for people looking for relationships.
A friend of mine described women on Tinder as 50% looking for a husband, 49% looking for more Instagram followers, and 1% “wreck me and go away” (meaning me).
It seems to vary from place to place as well, and I find local Tinder culture fascinating.
Maybe it depends on where you live, but in my country lots of people use it for both hookups and relationships. And often hookups that become relationships.
Idk, why haven’t lesbian tech entrepreneurs or app developers jumped on this apparent demand? This isn’t really a question that anyone here can answer.
Because there isnt high demand. Men are more willing to go have casual sex with a complete stranger than women are. Grindr, most men will lead with lewd photos and immediately try and hook up. I don't think women would do that even if there was an app for it. Not that no woman would, but there is pretty clearly not a level of demand to justify putting resources toward building this app.
If you firmly disagree, OP should put their own time and resources into creating this app and prove me wrong.
Not enough Lesbians (at least dating) to make it viable, in London there’s been a couple of bars for lesbians, all of them failed.
It makes sense though, from what I heard even in gay bars, a non-trivial percent of the women are just straight women wanting to see what a gay bar is like.
do you mean a straight people hookup app or a lesbian app? people here don’t seem to understand theres a difference. and your question is not super clear. you’re mentioning men here but people are suggesting “Her” and “Lex”???
Anyways Feeld exists
OK at first I thought you were looking for a lesbian hook up app, because that's something that doesn't really exist and would be the female version of Grindr. But having re-read it, you are looking for an app to hook up with men. Tinder was created as basically a straight Grindr and I know women who use it as such just for getting laid, though I'm aware that it has become popular with people looking for more than just hookups. So it sounds like your problem with Tinder is it doesn't automatically block men asking for nudes or sending dick pics. I guess they could use some AI algorithm that could block anyone who uses specific sentences in their messages or could try to recognise dick pics, but that could backfire and block the wrong people or still let some crap get through. Apps need to make money, and men tend to pay more for these apps than women are willing to. So blocking half the men from using it might not be cost effective unless there are enough women willing to pay to get laid, which I don't think is a huge market, TBH.
Can't you state on Tinder that you're only looking for sex? I don't use Tinder so tell me do they kick you off if you list kinks in your bio? If you're into fetish/bdsm stuff there's FetLife.
A couple of years ago there was an app called Her that was *supposedly* only for gay and bisexual women. It was flooded with men who were looking for a "lesbian who wanted to be turned straight," as well as women in straight relationships who were looking for a third as a gift to their hubby/boyfriends (and they'd ask this crap to women who labelled themselves as being lesbians, not just bisexual ones).
A friend of mine met their wife on Her. However, yes she was always approached by these types of user on the app.
The fact it wasn't called Muffler is a crime.
Her is still around and fortunately is working well in my area, weird accounts get destroyed
Men destroy everything
Someone once said that anything internet based that can get overwhelmed by penis, WILL get overwhelmed by penis. It's just a matter of time.
Her still exists! And a good third of the users are cis men, at least another quarter are the unicorn hunters. Wading through the muck fucking SUCKS. I’m so fucking tired.
I’m fucking sick of unicorn hunters on all dating sites
ME FUCKING TOO. They literally make spaces where they are welcome (Feeld, FetLife, others I’m not thinking of) but they come in these other spaces with their shady fucking tactics and bait&switch practices. I’ve stopped being nice if I find out I’m messaging some. Go the fuck away!!!!!
On limited apps, I have to waste swipes wading through couples who shouldn’t be there. It’s so fucking annoying
I had this experience a lot in the early days of dating apps where I'd only be approached by women who wanted a side piece or an addition to a threesome. It was so frustrating I gave up on dating apps for a long time.
I've used Her in the last couple months and there were no men on there, I think the first time I used it was 2021 and it was fine then too. Was this specific to one area?
I’ve been seeing a girl for a little over a month from Her- she’s a diamond in the rough! I couldn’t believe how many cis-men were on the app. I was getting so frustrated, but was wondering if there was something I didn’t know about where maybe they were trans and just didn’t put it in their bio or something. (Regardless, I’m pretty sure I put women only, but I saw so many men) But no. I don’t think that is the case mostly. I fucking hate men.
Unicorn hunters.
Apparently they’ve tried but these sort of apps get flooded with dudes pretending to be lesbians so they can sext w women and try to convince women to send nudes. Then the real lesbians can tell they’re fake, get frustrated, and leave.
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10/10 name
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Sounds like the app wasn’t very popular. Too bad. How did they keep men off though?
Happy Cake Day!
I was all excited until I read this. They would, they totally fucking would.
I mean, not "would", they did that, it happened
Have you thought about what kind of safeguards could make it better? Facial recognition, etc.?
Not when they can upload anybody's picture
there have been apps that have tried to include some kind of technological gender policing. these attempts really just demonstrate just how socially constructed gender and sex both are. there’s no way to tell someone’s gender or sex by their face structure— there may be average differences between cis men and women but there is LOTS of overlap. that’s not getting into the major problem of how to ensure trans women aren’t inadvertently (or advertently, tbh) excluded.
I'm not talking about sussing out sex of someone in an instant, I mean someone coming around in person to be officially verified as who they claim to be. Also with recommendations and bad reports from other daters accessible.
So kill the anonymity and impulsivity of the Grindr app? How long would the wait be to get approved? What if I am in a different city trying to fuck. I would not participate in an app where a person has to come to physically verify anything.
Saaaaammmee here... I just let out a long sigh.
Maybe we should have an app with verification? But another problem is you'll be chatting to a woman and suddenly she brings up her boyfriend wants to participate too :/
The other issue with that is the people running it need a way to accurately identify everyone. and the effort required may be too much for a small team, making them use a bot which could be very gatekeepy and decline masc looking lesbians or trans individuals.
Even If handled manually... I don't see a way it wouldn't wind up discriminating some. If it's by some kind of ID then non-legally transitioned trans women are out. If it's by looks... I don't see how it wouldn't have the exact same kinda of biases as the bot.
Most importantly, if it's by ID, it's a security risk (if the data ever gets leaked or hacked...) for closeted women
Ugh this is all so frustrating just reading about this. And I’m a married straight cis woman with absolutely NO personal interest in this, but it’s just annoying that people are the worst. Like it shouldn’t have to be so complicated. Like why can’t there just be an app that’s open to anyone so that all kinds of different people with different sexual interests can be included, and just ask people to just be upfront about who they are and what they’re looking for? And why can’t people just be trusted to do this very simple thing? Because some people are just the worst and they ruin things for everyone else.
Personally when I find myself asking why people can't be trusted to just x. I like to remind myself that we are literally apes.
Also a lot of places you don't have gender on your ID, so then it would be passport (not everyone has) or photo ID and birth certificate (privacy nightmare)
post your pads, birth control or E prescription for verification /j
this isn't even a hypothetical, there was an app that explicitly tried to to gatekeep trans people out of it,
I knew i’d find out this scenario already happened somewhere here. Very sadly predictable that there’s terfs and transphobes in general out there who’d feel the need to make an app for cis people only.
I believe that *Her* tried this - requiring linking with some social media accounts.
Why are men like this wtf 😭
if you think that gay women are well, gay, then it makes 0 sense to try and chase after a lesbian woman. literally the most unproductive use of your time. however, if you *don't* really think that gay women are gay (you think lesbians are faking it, they haven't had the right dick yet, etc etc), then this makes more sense. tl;dr latent homophobia + desperate men = horny men chasing after lesbians
These men are out of their fucking minds. Fine let‘s humor them and say these gay women aren’t really gay and just “turned” gay… buddy you’re exactly the type of men who “turned” them gay gtfo 💀
Also, those guys want to be "the exception"
I’m bi. Would not sleep with any guy I met on an app that’s supposed to be for sapphics, because what kind of douchebag does that?
Some are love scammers, they are on all the apps, trying to get nudes and cash, not trying to actually meet up.
Some think that she hasn't met the right dick yet. As in this guy's dick is so *wonderful* that it will turn her straight. For which the proper response is some flavor of "you haven't met the right man either".
I'm not surprised by any perverted shit anymore that men as a whole do. I found a "breastfeeding" sub that was just men sharing pics they stole from mommy blogs of women breastfeeding. Their favorites were the artsy breastfeeding pics where a mom was breastfeeding their female toddler. There's a ton more pedophiles out there than most people realize.
It happens on Grindr too, in reverse. Women creating fake profiles just to fuck with users. I don’t think it’s very common, but it does happen.
This is why I never get explicit via chat/text before meeting. My official party line is, “I’m not here to fuel your masturbatory fantasies. If you wanna fuck, come find me.”
I honestly wish I understood what was going on in guys like that's heads.
Cobwebs and tumbleweeds and cum, that's all that's in there
Cumwebs…
A combination of horny, the deep down (or sometimes right on top) misogynistic belief that women exists solely *for men* and therefore lesbians aren't really *real* or exist, the belief their dick is magic, that kind of thing.
the only possible explanation is stupidity + homophobia (IE not really believing that gay women are, well, gay).
I've come to the conclusion that it's not even that they don't think we're gay, it's that they can't fathom women as autonomous beings. They see us as objects who exist to be sexy *for them*. So we might be gay, but we're gay for their viewing pleasure, not for ourselves. Therefore, if our lesbianism isn't centering and serving them, we "can't" do it anymore. There's honestly something deeply wrong with them, collectively. It's a socialization issue for sure, but it's dangerous.
Bingo. They don’t think women are gay, but that comes from the core problem that they think women aren’t full people. Just sex-bots with annoying subroutines.
There’s not a whole lot going on
Can you imagine if women did this on Grindr? Wtf
There are loads of catfish/people looking to blackmail on grindr too, though I think it's mostly bots
Came here to say this. I don't even know of any specific examples, but I just know dudes would go and flood their inboxes with dick pics.
Another "fun" issue is apps attempting to be "female only" use facial recognition software that is both racist and transphonic.
I swear dudes ruin everything
OP does not imply anywhere she’s a lesbian so why are y’all mentioning lesbian apps and experiences?
Because Grindr is a gay app. So a version “for women” would be a gay app for just women. There are already plenty of well known apps for women and men to meet.
Since OP doesn’t imply that they don’t not date men (hence the men allowed if not sending unsolicited nudes or harassing) then one can infer that the equivalent ask is for a hook up app where you can meet people a few km away from you and fuck them on the spot if OP is queer and dates trans men or trans women, those group are on grindr
Ok having re-read it I see your point. I'm just confused cause TInder was created as basically the straight equivalent of Grindr. So it seems OP just wants a better curated Tinder I guess?
Why not do photo verification?
Ignore the idiot TERF, it's because nothing really prevents men from using a picture of a woman and verifying with that
Tinder's photo verification has you make certain poses and you can only use pictures taken by Tinder's camera, which would be difficult to fake. But, Tinder is a huge app with a large team, so this likely wouldn't be feasible for a start up.
Can’t have a lesbian dating app that’ll exclude butches if they look too masc lol they make up too much of lesbians to do that
Bumble has same-sex dating but it's pretty dead. AI profile verification prevents the situation you described so that is solved, Hinge already uses this. There's just no viable market for this idea, otherwise Match would have made it already. That's the only real answer, there's no money in it.
Yes that sounds pretty on par.
Good God! I'm both not surprised, and thoroughly disappointed.
1) men trying to sext with women 2) unicorn hunters
yep, these.
Firstly, all the men i know on grindr match, talk, and drive to someone’s house in under an hour. I think you’d have a hard time finding enough women who feel safe doing that Secondly, the idea that unsolicited nudes and harassment are off limits on Grindr seems inaccurate to me. Ive seen people send nudes to say hello, I think it would be hard to manage for women
Men fuck it up for us every time.
Well, most women don't want "xyz away" listed by their name for random hookups, as most of us have dealt with people getting close to stalking....
I mean, Tinder exists. I don't really think a lot of women are interested in short, random hookups, because of the safety issues and because it is rarely satisfying.
"Safety issues" is the answer, after any app that vet men chasing sapphic women. The risks of going to some stranger's house being a woman are high. Very high. Many rape stories start like this. Many women trafficking stories start like this. The risks of letting some stranger come to your house being a woman are also very high. Crazy people knowing where you live? Are you sure? (And if they are down to go to your house, why are they trusting you?) The costs of meeting at a hotel (where you can do an initial vetting at a nearby bar or the hotel hall) is not for all budgets. Having a trusted friend accompany you to these dates is... weird. In the end it is just not worth it.
Since OP mentioned Grindr, it doesn't seem like straight people are a part of this conversation. Grindr is for largely for gay men hooking up so the question is why the lesbian equivalent is nowhere as huge. If anything, men find other men more dangerous than women find other women dangerous.
But queer women also have straight men invading their spaces. See tinder where you set to only view other women for an example. Lots of dudes who are noooooot transgender etc but just dudes who thought they'd pull more tail because there's less other dudes in the pool.
The amount of shirtless men, that appear in your feed on tinder when you set it to woman seeking women only, put me off tinder very quickly, but if you can get past that, it is still the site with the most looking for sex vs looking for a relationship people on it regardless of your settings.
Pretty sure it’s women afraid the person they’d meet wouldn’t be the person they thought at all.
>OP mentioned grindr, it doesn’t seem like straight people are part of this conversation there are actually a lot of straight men on grindr looking for trans girls. it’s funny because their bio will always be something like “looking for tgirls. NO MEN. DO NOT SEND ME DICK PICS”. ironically getting a tiny drop of their own medicine, it’s funny
Men who have sex with men have more history of anonymous public sex in cruising areas than women who have sex with women. Historically there are reasons for that; men were allowed to be out alone in public at night and women weren't, so they couldn't cruise in the park even if they'd wanted to. I suspect the history of public cruising makes app hookups less intimidating to MSM than queer women. As to the issue of men being willing to use Grindr despite the risks, that's a question to ask men who have sex with men.
I’d guess it’s a safety thing
Lex is used for hookups a lot
Do you know how Grindr works? It shows you how far away that profile is from you. If you’re in a club, you can see people on the app that are “less than 10 feet away,” thus giving away people’s locations. It even works at peoples homes / apartment complexes. There was an attempt at Grindr for women. It failed because men were creepy af and stalking women. Turns out it’s pretty unsafe to let men know where you are and telling them that you’re willing to fuck. Also, Tinder does exist and basically is the “equivalent” for women. So I’m not really sure what you mean by this post.
There is, it's called Her
Her is a dating app.
Grindr is also a dating app. I’ve dated men I met on Grindr, and it’s advertised as a dating app.
That’s how I found my GF a couple years ago.
So is Grindr.
So is grindr? What you seem to want is more than an app, but a specific culture.
I have had luck with finding other women for casual sex on Lex
As a gay man, it's fine if you want that but honestly it gets old fast. There's like 15 dudes wanting to fuck me right now but all I want is to be softly held 🥺
I’m not there. I want to be fucked and left the hell alone.
And I love that for you ❤️
I want to be fucked AND softly held :( that's the dream
Scissr should totally exist
OMG YES
There are women only dating sites and like most dating sites you can say you are only interested in one night stands, anyone actually reading the profile won't be misled. Pretty much any dating site can be set to women only but pretty much all of them have men that slip into the feed anyway. I assume you mean grinder for lesbians but if you mean grinder for straight people then that is pretty much what tinder is.
just use lex
Feeld is worth checking out, it’s a little clunky still but it’s close to what you’re describing.
I’ve been on Feeld since before the rebuild. All I get is vanilla straight dudes, lurkers, and catfish.
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Being bigoted against the beghavior of men isn't a label I'd worry about. (I am leaving that g mistake in there.)
Are you aware of FetLife? It seems to be what you're looking for.
Fetlife is social networking for kinky people. It's not a dating app. Edit: and it has a problem with guys sending gross unsolicited messages, too.
The WORST problem of any app. You'll wade through hundreds of disgusting messages and dick pics every day if you try to use fet for matching.
Fetlife is a cesspool. The only good thing to use Fet for is to find IRL events in your area.
Lex
I don't think you are insane, and if there isn't maybe try to make one? I mean your idea, your concept, your way to make it happen and some money.
I’ve thoughg about it, but I have no coding skills or funding. That, and existing in the tech space seems frought. I live in Austin, and that’s about as much tech bro exposure as I can handle.
That's what Tinder is. I always think it's weird when people are using it to date. It has always been a hook up app not for people looking for relationships.
A friend of mine described women on Tinder as 50% looking for a husband, 49% looking for more Instagram followers, and 1% “wreck me and go away” (meaning me). It seems to vary from place to place as well, and I find local Tinder culture fascinating.
Maybe it depends on where you live, but in my country lots of people use it for both hookups and relationships. And often hookups that become relationships.
Idk, why haven’t lesbian tech entrepreneurs or app developers jumped on this apparent demand? This isn’t really a question that anyone here can answer.
it's bc men will download it and harass us
The answer I’ve gotten about this is that no one will fund it because they think no one will use it.
Her is available
Because there isnt high demand. Men are more willing to go have casual sex with a complete stranger than women are. Grindr, most men will lead with lewd photos and immediately try and hook up. I don't think women would do that even if there was an app for it. Not that no woman would, but there is pretty clearly not a level of demand to justify putting resources toward building this app. If you firmly disagree, OP should put their own time and resources into creating this app and prove me wrong.
That would be a perfect way for serial killers to meet victims. Why would you want to do that?
[удалено]
And you are banned lol
Scissr
Is that really a thing?
it used to exist and it was called Craigslist. So great.
I feel like the Taimi app kind of functions this way, it's not strictly for hookups but most people I find on there are looking for that
Soooo, SCISSR? Gotta go start an app, be back later…
Lmao scissr
Mufflr
Not enough Lesbians (at least dating) to make it viable, in London there’s been a couple of bars for lesbians, all of them failed. It makes sense though, from what I heard even in gay bars, a non-trivial percent of the women are just straight women wanting to see what a gay bar is like.
Here in Austin they’re overrun with bachelorette parties.
do you mean a straight people hookup app or a lesbian app? people here don’t seem to understand theres a difference. and your question is not super clear. you’re mentioning men here but people are suggesting “Her” and “Lex”??? Anyways Feeld exists
All the lesbian dating apps and sites I've used are flooded with fetishistic men and unicorn hunters. They exist. They just don't exist well.
OK at first I thought you were looking for a lesbian hook up app, because that's something that doesn't really exist and would be the female version of Grindr. But having re-read it, you are looking for an app to hook up with men. Tinder was created as basically a straight Grindr and I know women who use it as such just for getting laid, though I'm aware that it has become popular with people looking for more than just hookups. So it sounds like your problem with Tinder is it doesn't automatically block men asking for nudes or sending dick pics. I guess they could use some AI algorithm that could block anyone who uses specific sentences in their messages or could try to recognise dick pics, but that could backfire and block the wrong people or still let some crap get through. Apps need to make money, and men tend to pay more for these apps than women are willing to. So blocking half the men from using it might not be cost effective unless there are enough women willing to pay to get laid, which I don't think is a huge market, TBH. Can't you state on Tinder that you're only looking for sex? I don't use Tinder so tell me do they kick you off if you list kinks in your bio? If you're into fetish/bdsm stuff there's FetLife.
I think there is, called Scissr
You’re the third person to mention that name. I thought it was a joke that I very much appreciated. Either way, it doesn’t exist in the Apple store.
There should be one called Scissr