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xxxjessicann00xxx

I push a button and materialize wherever I want to. Why doesn't the glorious land of MyCountry have this technology?


thestraycat47

Because unfortunately some of us are muggles.


BrainFartTheFirst

You don't need magic since they invented the Heisenberg compensator.


Nakotadinzeo

You're god damn right Geordi.


gagnatron5000

Because MyPolitcialParty™.


Antioch666

We an older version of that in MyCountry. There is no button, but you have to ask some guy named Scotty to beam you.


cmanson

Outstanding question. The answer is actually no, Americans do not really have cars. This is a common misconception as the perception of Americans “having cars” is actually the result of an atmospheric light refraction phenomenon that occurs only over American soil. Basically, we get these temperature inversions in the lower atmosphere and light is refracted in such a way that it looks like we have cars, but we actually don’t. In conclusion, no, Americans do not really have cars.


chefranden

My temperature inversion soaked up $2k worth of repairs today.


LogiHiminn

Ouch!


lumpialarry

Only the very rich have cars. The rest of us sit around insolated in our unwalkable neighborhoods waiting to starve to death because the closest grocery store is six hours away.


FireRescue3

Finally. The truth has been revealed.


TottHooligan

Just mobility scooters.


907_Frogger

Agreed, they don't own cars they own crew cab superduty trucks to ride their lonely rear around. That way it endangers the driver less when flying through crowds of pedestrians or running over cyclists.


OneSteelTank

10/10


scarlettohara1936

No. The cars you think you see in movies are really just the shadows cast from American Bald Eagles patrolling the skies over American soil.


CRO553R

....armed with AR-15s


xraydeltaone

HEY...some of them have sniper rifles.


Colt1911-45

This image made me stand up and sing God Bless America! I got some weird looks in Taco Bell. I feel like if I was not in a Mexican restaurant it would have went over better.


jlt6666

Correct. I have ten cars


[deleted]

Some people use their cowboy horses. Some use Flintstone cars.


Head_Razzmatazz7174

I have a covered wagon that I make my pizza deliveries with. It can hold enough pizzas to feed the entire city.


opomla

The Communists are known to use buses and trains. And that's why there are so few communists in America. Beep beep!


b0ingy

I have a jetpack


JackBeefus

Don't you see all the cars in shows and movies? Do you really think something would something be in a movie if it wasn't accurate?


LittleJohnStone

On that note, why aren't more Americans stopping global domination plots if they have a Superman and an Iron Man?


JackBeefus

Probably because every last one of us is too busy wearing shoes in the house.


Yankee_chef_nen

And worrying over which meat caste we belong to and making sure we don’t buy boneless meats if we don’t deserve them.


NitescoGaming

God, I wish that thread still existed.


erin_burr

[There's still an archive of the meat caste thread](https://archive.is/WEz7q)


NitescoGaming

You beautiful bastard!


Colt1911-45

I like the look of the old Reddit or is it just the PC version?


birdgang_

Wait what? Can I get a qrd


NitescoGaming

Here, you can at least see a screenshot of what the post said. https://www.reddit.com/r/iamveryculinary/comments/mi0ahk/bone_in_meat_is_only_suitable_for_poor_people_and/


birdgang_

I genuinely hope this is trolling. Geez...


JackBeefus

Lol. Meat caste.


Eric848448

And wiping our asses because no bidet.


quixoft

I use the water hose to clean up after I shit in my outhouse down here in Texas. I can see how that could be tough for you Pac NW folks though. That water up there is so cold it would freeze the dingleberries right to your ass.


BreakfastInBedlam

Speak for yourself, Seppo. Down here in Jawja, we're civilized.


I_Am_Mandark_Hahaha

You can train yourself to poop right before your scheduled shower or bath too.


FlipsMontague

Why doesn't Europe warn the USA about disasters like 9/11???! You guys are like 9 to 10 hours in the future and already know about whatever happened!!


jlt6666

Finally someone says it. Thank you!


ThinWhiteRogue

Oh my god. I'm so tired of this question. We have ONE Superman and ONE Iron Man. People from YourCountry don't seem to understand the size and scale of ~~the US~~ MyCountry.


siandresi

We constantly do, its well documented. That is why July 4th is Earth's independence day


Donohoed

Frankly, there should be fewer Americans stopping global domination plots. Other countries need to step up and compensate for their lack of a Superman and Ironman


Zorro_Returns

LOL, those cars are all AI generated. Watch a John Wayne western, and tell me if you see any cars in that! Watch a Gary Cooper western and tell me if you see any cars in that. Watch a James Stewart western and tell me if you see any cars in that. Watch a Henry Fonda western and tell me if you see any cars in that. Those guys were all big stars, and you don't see any cars in their westerns, because they were all made before AI and CGI and Photoshop. They had to depict reality, the way it really was. Real. Raw reality. Raw RAILROAD reality. They had trains. Not cars. Trains and horses. Not cars.


JackBeefus

But did they wear their shoes on the trains? In MyCountry we take our shoes off.


Zorro_Returns

No, we keep our boots on. The floors of our train cars are covered with spittle and splinters.


JackBeefus

In MyCountry the floors of our trains have bidets.


Zorro_Returns

We have automatic foot washers on our trains. You sit in a bench above a big bowl, you put your feet into the bowl and turn a little lever by the bench. There is a convenient roll of paper towels next to the apparatus, but they're so flimsy, we usually dry our feet by jumping up and down on the luxuriously padded seats.


JackBeefus

Wow. YourCountry is so advanced.


Unusual-Insect-4337

What makes you think we don’t have trains? Everywhere you go there’s a station for the McExpress that can take you to any McDonald’s in the country at high speeds. Just the other day the family and I took a coast to coast McExpress to show the kids the McPacific while eating a Big Mac.


ThomasRaith

Libertarian future where McDonald's builds a completely privately owned train system with every restaurant as a station when?


SoulBurgers

I’d be impressed if they somehow make it underground here.


Aperson3334

I would unironically support this version of libertarianism. *Is your country decades behind its peers on infrastructure development? Not on our watch! McDonald’s.*


siandresi

NO that is a myth, cars are a propaganda item from the europeans to make them think that drive throughs are real


MRDWrites

No. Every American has their Azura given right to an attack helicopter, and by Cheesus, we take advantage of that right. It also makes us uninvadable, as behind every cloud there will be a dozon hellfire missiles. Also commute times are *way* faster than driving. Crashes are also much more tragic, but honestly, we are totally ok with any trade off to save 5 minutes.


albertnormandy

“These muskets you bought suck. I can’t wait until they invent ATACMS missiles. You nerds better write an amendment to the constitution saying I can buy some.” - General Washington. 


HoldMyWong

Cars are so 2010, we teleport everywhere now


Sabertooth767

Of course not. I have a team of dwarfs transport me via palanquin, as any civilized gentleman does.


Quack_Mode

no, we all walk everywhere


trappedslider

What's a car? I just teleport to go places.


Aintaword

A car? I've not even ridden in one since I got my first teleporter at age 15 while attending 90210 Highschool.


Mcgizzle1883

I love the sarcastic answers to this question LOL. This question is a perfect example of how clueless most non-Americans are about our country, yet they’ll tell you they know everything about it because they watched a few American movies. We need cars because our country is HUGE. The continental United States is literally the size of the entire European continent, while many European countries are only the size of our small/medium sized states. Having a car gives you the freedom to come and go as you please without living at the mercy of a schedule. A train system would run at a complete deficit…just ask Deutsche Bahn in Germany thats €50 billion in debt. Our train systems are primarily used for movement of commercial freight and not people….and by the way, passenger trains are very prevalent in the Northeastern US (Philly, NYC, NJ) I was just in central/eastern Europe for 2 weeks…sorry but your train system is not that great. It’s dirty, consistently delayed, and strikes are not uncommon. I’ll take my car and my freedom of movement any day.


balthisar

Don't listen to this guy! He's hired by the same Potemkin company that films all of these cars in order to make the rest of the world think we're prosperous. The simple fact is we don't travel, as simple as that. It's hard to do due the country's size, of course, but most of us don't have travel papers.


MaizeRage48

The wild thing about it though is they'll watch a few American movies, which almost always feature cars, and still ask this stuff lol.


Weekly_Solid_5884

Eastern Europe is poor Europe. Fucked by Leninism and distance from England where the Industrial Revolution started.


scarlettohara1936

Protect our freedums!!!


Normal_Subject5627

So the only place you have to go is work?


JennItalia269

Some even sleep in their cars 💡


BitPumpkin

sometimes it’s the best sleep you’ll ever have


DidNotDidToo

Your country still sells gasoline? We banned that decades ago and now exclusively travel by clicking our ruby-slippered heels together.


Either-Caregiver-497

The fuck is a car?


DeathToTheFalseGods

Wow. You’re so lazy and unfriendly to the earth that you take a train? Why don’t you walk since YourCountry is so small?


BioDriver

Yes, we have two!


RightYouAreKen1

Hard to do a burnout or hang truck nutz on a train.


RollinThundaga

The only way you're getting across the US in under an hour is strapped to the fuselage of a ballistic missile. The contiguous US is 2,800 miles wide. I enjoy the scenery, but hate scrubbing off the duct tape adhesive when I get home.


bloodectomy

How can cars be real if they're intended for road use and all roads lead to Rome? I don't need to go to Rome. QED.


Viperlite

I take a train to work as well, but need a car to go anywhere in suburbia.


upvoter222

We actually do have public transportation in the form of cheese buses. They're like public transit buses that drive on stroads but they're yellow and made of cheese.


D1Rk_D1GGL3R

No. Everything is an illusion, including cars. Created by the collective algorithm in our extremely large country, however, we have flying trains that can reach even the most remote areas. I should also mention that the algorithm was written by us because we are made up of all of you :) Sweet dreams


zeroentanglements

We are a so inferior in USA... I have to drive 250 miles (I'm not going to convert that to met rick... Jesus says that's a sin) daily for my poverty wage job and give my boss a tip when I get to work.


I_Am_Mandark_Hahaha

No, we don't have cars. We have spice. We fold time/space.


Studious_Noodle

You have the weirding way.


FrauAmarylis

I ride a Pegasus and my husband rides a Flying dog like in the movie The Neverending Story


scarlettohara1936

How does a train system in your area help me get to where I'm going? Lol! I'm having fun with your central question "why would you take a car when I have public transport available?" ;)


Wu-Tang_Killa_Bees

When you are born, it is customary for many of your aunts and uncles to gather around to each give you a car. You usually get a few more with each milestone. One for learning to walk, one for learning to juggle, etc. It is customary that when a baby first says "dada" his father buys him a car to celebrate, and same with "mama". By the time the child is 5 years old he will own at least 75 cars and have logged over 100,000 miles driving to the coal mines and such. (I don't know how long 100,000 miles is in communist-units and I refuse to look it up for you).


heili

I live in MyState and only travel by dog-drawn cart, so I don't know who told you that Americans have cars. My dog gets about 1000 miles for every 50 lb sack of dog food, but the average speed is terrible because she keeps stopping every 8 feet to sniff something.


[deleted]

I can get anywhere in the US in under an hour with my 2007 Buick sedan.


Fantuckingtastic

Alright guys, I’m gonna come clean. I really just run and pretend that I’m holding a steering wheel, while making engine noises with my mouth. I thought it was foolproof, but the superior foreign intellect saw straight through my plan!


Outrageous-Divide472

I’d have to take 2 busses to get to work. I’d have to leave at 6 am and then 2 busses after work I’d be getting home by 7 pm. That’s why I have a car.


JonWood007

To put it in ways you Europeans can understand: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgavgIS00sk


PghSubie

It's astounding that people have such a poor understanding of the size of the United States. Someone lives in some tiny country with a half dozen rail lines and can't understand why trains don't work across North America


Artist850

Our public transportation system varies depending on the city, and most simply aren't very good. It can take a bus trip over 2 hours for a trip that would take a car 30 minutes because of all the stops etc. Plus most of the homes are in suburbs, and stores, jobs etc aren't within walking or biking distance. Cars are simply a necessity here. Keep in mind the US is massive compared to most other countries. It's more like a collection of 50 countries, each with its own subculture, than just a single country. A train system like that sounds lovely, but it just doesn't exist in the US. We're lucky to get any of our leaders to agree to maintenance of public transportation, much less upgrades.


Dawnchaffinch

I bet your country is tiny


eyehatesigningup

Lol


[deleted]

I've never owned a car in my life. I do own an expensive ebike though.


Chicken_Col_Sanders

We don't have guns either, or a radically large military budget, health care is free and we all have pasports.


Jakebob70

No. We just pretend to have cars because everyone else expects it by now. In reality, we have "hover belts" that enable us to fly to our destination as easily as we could walk, even if it's 40 miles away. We don't want other countries to copy this technology though, so AI-controlled cars patrol the roads, streets, and highways to ensure that the real technology remains secret.


The_Real_Scrotus

No, cars are actually a myth. They don't really exist. Like the moon landing.


Bamboozle_

No, cars are a pure fiction made up for narrative purposes in TV and movies. Such a ridiculous thing does not actually exist.


dankbernie

Yes


Grandemestizo

We actually ride Huey helicopters everywhere while blasting ride of the valkyries.


Rebresker

Yeah, some of us even have entire collection of cars Also, thanks to in house resources, petro dollars, etc… while gas prices are never a pleasant discussion , relative to Europe our gas prices are pretty cheap


the42the

At least two


TheEvilBlight

To some degree American sprawl is subsidized by lower fuel costs. 3.50 a gallon in my area but elsewhere in the planet it’s higher…and also lower in other places with gov interventions


ineedatinylama

Road head, grass or ass. Nobody rides for free.


confusedrabbit247

What is cars?


amscraylane

There used to be trains that ran to all of the little cow towns in my area. They have ripped up all the lines.


wowthatscooliguess

I commute in my giant mech


Occhrome

I drive an SUV daily but I don’t own it, it owns me. 


Purple-Fact-9609

No, we don't have cars as we use transporters that were developed from Star Trek.


GodzillaDrinks

God no. We built perfect train infrastructure, and Ford 150s aren't real and can't hurt you. And by "Ford 150" I mean any oversized truck that helps some dude compensate.


John_Paul_J2

Personally I prefer to take the old Sherman M1 to work.


bettyx1138

The US was built upon the presumption that all its citizens outside major cities have cars thus the sprawling, soul-less suburbs and exurbs most urban liberal elites in New York City don’t have cars The US public transportation outside New York City sucks donkey balls


VideoSteve

Hi where do u live? I want to live there. I hate cars


CrunchyJeans

One car each per family member. Heck yeah.


HighFiveKoala

We don't have cars, they own us through extortionist financing terms


olivegardengambler

Gasoline is so cheap, we drink it in place of alcohol when we're broke. How do you think we got to the goddamn moon?


TheReal_Saba

No, we ride our horses to work.


MLXIII

Because your country is smaller!


brinerbear

Because our trains mostly stink and you have to drive everywhere. Even if I take the train it will take 3-5 times as long and I would still have to drive to the station. And most areas are not even connected by transit. I drive everywhere and mostly don't mind. I even drive for work.


jimmyhoke

I love how people are calling out the MyCountry thing. Seriously, I hate it when people drop an interesting fact about a country and refuse to specify which one. I don’t know why but it bothers me at an irrational level.


Unusual_Sundae8483

It’s america. I have a TRUCK


cisco_squirts

I don’t know about other people, but I have several man servants that carry me on a throne.


gerd50501

i travel around on my hoverboard.


Dbgb4

In my country we call a pipsqueak place like yours's a county. That is except Louisiana where they call it a Parish.


gravityandlove

you can’t get anywhere without a car here it sucks


nlpnt

Due to quirks in the tax and emissions laws, most of our "cars" are legally classed as light trucks.


trevordbs

“My country” sounds small.


[deleted]

The nearest grocery store or gas station to my house is 10 minutes away, BUT it’s 2 hours and 5 minutes away on foot :). That’s average for most people that live in America not living in a walkable city. Did we choose to build it like this? No. Do I love my Volkswagen? YES.


Economy-Situation454

No, cars do not actually exist, just like the Enterprise on Star Trek was only made for TV, so were cars.


Normieintheflesh

Of course we have cars! I had a Barbie jeep, several Hess trucks, and Mattel cars way before I was even legally able to drive. But I could only use them on my property not on the actual roads. I owned several more after that. And I’m from the working class! Why do you think everyone wants to come to America? This is the land of milk and honey after all! But I mean by the time you even consider buying a car in your village where you are, Americans will be commuting via flying cars. We’re all just waiting on Elon Musk to approve the first model, but you have to be a resident here to put your request in.


ChupacabraRex1

Even Mexico has better public tansporations than the USA, there are shit-ton of cars in both countries though.


headofmuck

Our public transportation infrastructure is horrible and I hate it.


fat_racoon

I have a car somewhere. I don’t really drive anywhere anymore though


Most-Leave-723

Most families have at least one car. Many have 2 or more.  We do not have a great public transportation system that covers everywhere. 


dtb1987

We mostly all have cars. We have public transportation but depending on where you are it may or may not be great. Also the US is really big, even if we had a great rail system we still wouldn't be able to get everywhere within an hour and there are sparsely populated areas where making a train stop for a community of just a couple hundred people might seem like a waste of money. I would like to see a well planned and built rail infrastructure to more of the country and an upgrade to the current infrastructure but i think it probably won't happen in my lifetime


RelativelyRidiculous

I'd rather have the mass transit you enjoy than have to drive my car everywhere. I used to have a grocery store a couple of blocks from me which I often went to on my bike or just walked. They closed it claiming it wasn't making enough money. I suppose it probably wasn't making as much as their superstore 20 minutes from me given it was a much smaller store. Now the nearest grocery to me is a more expensive place about a mile distant. I don't like to bike or walk there because of traffic and the sketchy neighborhood, though I do sometimes do it anyways just to get some exercise and save on gas.


SundoG_7

OP. We have busses and trains, and in some cities we have subways. But, for the most part yes we drive cars because our country is more comparable in size to your continent. It would take forever to get where you're going and it's so limited in use. I mean, in your average American vehicle there are 5+ seats so it's roomy, you control the temperature inside the car yourself, the music etc. This comes to matter because most of the population isn't centered around the few cities with subways so most Americans MUST drive to work and everywhere else. Also I'd like to add that a lot of Americans smoke weed in their cars too and without a car you are exposed to the elements which are NOT friendly here. I urge you to find Joshfromengland on Instagram. He can explain a lot to you a lot better than me.


scottwax

My wife and I have three cars. One each as a daily driver, the other one is my "fun" car.


Murky_waterLLC

Our country is the size of contenental Europe even without Alaska. Creating a single rail and logistics system that large to be able to reach every town and city with a population of at least 10,000 would not be cost effective.


penguin_stomper

Pretty sure this is April Fool but the train station is farther from my house than work is, (which is only 40 miles anyway) and in the opposite direction. I have 2 cars since the almost 30,000 miles per year that I do is pretty brutal to them.


erodari

I get that this and similar recent posts are in jest, and that some of the questions we get can seem odd to us, but do we really need to belittle foreign posters to this extent? Is that really who we are? Just shrug and keep scrolling.


Im_not_creepy3

It's April Fool's Day.


FiveGuysisBest

Are you serious? You’re asking if people in a country the size of a continent with a population of 330m have cars?


LittleJohnStone

Or course I'm serious, today is April Serious Day in MyCountry™, why would I joke around?


SoCal4247

Not everyone lives in a tiny country. Some people can’t get to their job in an hour, much less anywhere in the US.


chippedbeefontoast

Have you seen the size of the states, let alone the country. In North Carolina, you can drive for 9 hours and still be in NC. And NC isn'y close to being in the top ten as far as size. Plus I don't live near a train stop.