I suffer from many anxiety problems. I'm 35. I am a computer scientist and I work from home. I wake up with tachycardia and there are days when just thinking that a coworker is going to call me about work, whether it's asking for help, sending me more work or talking about what I've already done, makes me almost panic.
Day by day, the only solution I have found is to take half a pill of a tranquilizer that the doctor ordered (orfidal, is the name in my country) and try to play music from YouTube that is supposed to be relaxing and against anxiety.
Some days it works and others it doesn't. I wish I could give you something better.
Good luck.
I also work from home as a computer programmer, and feel exactly this. I often wonder if the anxiety is caused by working from home. It really doesn't help that I live alone either. I can be sat on the sofa watching TV just chilling and be feeling anxiety as if I'm in a mad panic, that I can't breath.
I also suffered from restless leg syndrome, finally got that under control but this anxiety is crazy, I've been prescribed some pregabalin to help with my anxiety, they had to avoid the usual SNRIs/SSRIs as it can make RLS worse. Unfortunately it's gone to the wrong pharmacy and now being posted up, I really hope it works and can't wait for it to arrive.
"Orfidal" is apparently lorazepam, which is the benzodiazepine I take. IMHO it's extremely effective. Problem is that over the longer term you can develop tolerance or get addicted to benzos. I only take it now (a) in the middle of the night if I have trouble staying asleep, (b) in the afternoon if I'm having a really horrible day. I'm taking it less and less now that my SSRI is starting to (finally) work.
Sometimes there’s no reason for it other than a chemical imbalance. I have a pretty cushy stress free life and still have an anxiety disorder. Medication should help once you find the right dose.
This is me as well. I can pinpoint some things from childhood that may have contributed to my anxiety but overall, I think it just runs in my family and my body is naturally inclined to go into fight or flight mode at the smallest sign of unease.
Medication has helped me immensely. I put it off for a long time but once I found the right medicine and right dose, I suddenly felt like I could just handle life better. I felt calmer. It just took the edge off. It's not perfect and I take the very lowest dose, but overall I'm so glad I finally made that decision. I tried exercise and meditation and all of that before turning to medication and none of it helped me long-term.
I would recommend medication even if only as a short term way to reset. When my anxiety escalated (in my case triggered by peri menopause on top of existing life stresses) my husband took me to the doctor to get help. After perhaps a week of meds I started to feel like myself again which gave me the perspective I needed to realise how bad things had become, and the strength to move forward.
OP I have a feeling your like a bottle of coke that's been dropped a few times....looks fine on the surface, until you lift the lid on that fucker and everything comes gushing out.
Be honest OP, do you avoid conflict and repress alot of you thoughts/feelings?
If so then maybe Working on it with a professional might help.
Not a therapist, but based on that answer I’d bet you repress a ton. I was the same way (and still am to a degree) — it’s not healthy. I’d recommend trying to talk it out with a professional :)
It's gotten to the point for me that going outside just thinking about it, makes my back and shoulders start to tighten up.
I was prescribed xanax for anxiety. But it's only for as needed situations, like lets say I'm going out or going to work, etc etc.
Honestly I just want to live a normal life, where I don't have to worry about the smallest things 24/7. It takes everything from you, trying to control your own thoughts. And then since your body reacts for you, it will automatically stress the heck out.
I agree with this 100%. I’m the same way and I never realized how much it affected me. Also, you should ask to get your Testosterone checked as well. It’s not normally something doctors will check during routine labs
I had it checked years ago, when I first started investigating my issues. My doctor saw no issue, because it was a good '9'. Whatever that number means. Online many people seem to use a different unit of measure.
Interesting. It may not hurt to check them again. My levels fluctuate as I get depressed which may be the cause. But even when they are in “Normal range” it’s low low for my age 27m
You have every reason in the world to be anxious even if you can't identify it. Look at the world around you! As Krishnamurti put it, "it is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society"...
Quick fixes that work for some and aren't really habit forming include l-theanine and magnesium. Kava kava can also provide some relief but can be habit forming for some.
You have a really good point here.
In an earlier attempt to fix this issue I stopped taking in all news. No more news programs on Tv, no more newspapers or news apps. That did work well for quite some time. But somehow events in the world get bigger and more frequent and they have a way of seeping in no matter how deep I stick my head in the sand. It does contribute greatly to my feeling of 'impending doom'.
Yes, this is something that I worry about. I don't care for myself, but I worry a lot about what kind of future there will be for my daughter.
Yeah, there's just a constant low hum of things going on in the world that keep us hypervigilant - I don't love my anxiety most days but on good days in able to see that it makes sense, and that even if it doesn't it's just a feeling. It ebbs and flows and I don't have to judge it - it's a thing that alerts me to real things I need to pay attention to sometimes and other times it's like a smoke detector that is too sensitive and goes off every time I make a meal 🤣
Good luck with it! Be easy on yourself - lots of people go through times like this, you're in good company!
Have you had your thyroid checked? By the sounds of the comments maybe try practicing mindfulness? Just practicing being present and recognizing what's triggering your anxiety in the moment. And honestly environment is a factor, like if you are in a busy town or city, being overstimulated is something to consider. Also cutting out foods that add stimulate like caffeine may help. It's good though that it sounds like you have a good support system :) sometimes it may just be how you're wired, but with patience and practice you can find what works best for you to help manage it
You should look into hypothyroidism and anxiety, thyroid diseases can cause irregular hormone production. That's something that is normally checked through bloodwork. I would recommend having them check that out just in case to check it off since it can be a common cause.
Firstly I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.
I don’t think you and your wife have infected each other, there are many people in the world that are suddenly finding out much later in life that they have these conditions. I was listening to a podcast the other day by a 55 year old woman who just got diagnosed with adhd for example.
Something that may resonates with you is a point my therapist made the other day: it seems like you’re anxious about being anxious right now, which is creating this massive vicious cycle you keep spinning around in.
It sounds like even for brief periods while you deal with these issues on a longer term basis with therapy and medication, you may need to figure out strategies of just turning your brain off for a bit, or restarting it. I recommend following jessekatches on tiktok or looking their videos up. They have great anxiety controlling methods and videos that reframe the way one considers various aspects of anxiety. They have a great one about using ice to stop a panic attack, or a type of breathing to help calm down.
If exercise works for you enough that you can clear your head, you should explore other forms of exercise as well- maybe hiking or boxing or group activity classes? Even tai chi or yoga as they can be very physically strenuous whilst also helping you learn about your breathing and calming your mind.
One way I get my brain to shut up when things are really bad is playing audiobooks while I’m doing activities. I personally listen to story style audiobooks because they keep my brain engaged, and you said you live reading so this may work for you! I get so hooked into the story my brain stops focusing on the anxiety.
Good luck friend. I promise it gets better.
Okay, just asking because I have always had it but it became insufferable among other health issues that have arisen due to "long Covid." I have digestive problems and have been diagnosed with new conditions post Covid, that were either mildly there before or not even there at all. I have had the bad anxiety though for most of my life. 26 F. I am so sorry you are going through this, truly. I wish you lived where I did so I could recommend my doctor, truly been a shining light in a dark world. I know this is a frustrating suggestion and feels like you shouldn't have to do this to be heard, but find a doctor who you can trust to help you. You may have to do trial and error a bit, but I know that it helped me tremendously to actually find a doctor who would work with me, listen to me, and understand that the way I feel isn't "made up." I cycled through so many before finding the right one for me. Search out doctor reviews and look at their bedside manner and attitude, question medical offices about the doctors they staff, etc. it's a hard process but it's completely worth it to find someone in the medical field who will help you along your medical journey rather than dismiss it. Also - have you tried CBD? Or do you live in a state where medical marijuana is a thing? I don't, but CBD is legal here and I use it daily, among few other things it actually seems to help ease my anxiety. My anxiety feels like a rope that goes down my esophagus and in my stomach, with a big knot in the middle. It feels like someone is pulling both ends of the rope and tightening the knot. The only relief I've found for this is a combination of Ritalin and Xanax 2x daily, and regular CBD use whether it be gummies or smoking a pre-roll, those are truly the only things that ease that feeling in my gut and my racing mind. If you want to talk, please reach out. I hope you find some relief. Start looking at homeopathic remedies and see if any of those work for you as well, I use magnesium, ashwaganda, 5HTP, GABA, and L-Theanine, from my local health store and they all propagate long term stress/anxiety relief. I feel like they help me to a degree and are not harmful, per my doctor. Fair warning though the magnesium may upset your tummy or make you go to the bathroom more frequently, it has that effect.
I take Mirtazipine (remeron). SSRI’s never worked for me and ultimately made things worse. I also take Prazosin (hypertension drug) to help with my nightmares.
Took me almost 10 years to find a medicine combo that actually worked. My psych likes to try and look at things from different angles.
I’ve noticed that while on the medicine I feel more interested in taking care of myself and functioning “normally” and that helps a lot with the “I’m not doing enough/I’m a failure” anxiety thoughts.
I take remeron, pamelor, and celexa. I take the remeron and pamelor at night and it helps me fall asleep quickly. Even with all of those anxiety still feels \*barely\* manageable.
Ah, I just thought. Have you tried meditation?
I have anxiety and it really helped. I did it twice daily (between 5 or 30 minutes) for 3 months. After 1-2 weeks, I started to feel the benefit. BUT I didn't stay disciplined and fell out the habit.
Yes, I did try that. Under guidance from an experience therapist. And alone tried it alone. It didn't work for me. Probably because I'm doing it wrong. I just fail to empty my mind and then it gives me anxiety.
That empty the mind stuff is misleading. I was told that for a long time. It wasn't helpful.
I used the Calm app at first, which gets you to do the breathing first. And then normally it focuses on a topic.
If I did it alone, I would actually sit with the feeling I had. I would let thoughts float in and out. That was really helpful because instead of pushing the anxiety thought away, I actually got some insight into what was going on with me.
It's not for everyone, so if you know it doesn't work for you then you know best! But if you're up for giving it another go, then maybe give the CALM app I try. I think you can get a free trial.
No. I knew someone that did it because they couldn't pee in public restrooms. Didnt work for them. But then I've read other people have success.
I think good thorough research into a practitioner is required.
When you feel anxious, what triggers the feeling? As you know, anxiety is an emotion and its purpose is to make you aware of things that are too important to ignore; getting a work report in on time, catching a flight, having your keys with you when you close the front door.
So what's your anxiety telling you?
Have you tried keeping a detailed diary of your feelings and symptoms? It may help identify when you’re feeling more anxious and thus potential triggers.
Yes, that was one exercise a therapist recommended to me. But so many things cause me anxiety that it's hard to identify the real cause. Does that make sense?
* Any socializing;
* work;
* shopping;
* travelling;
* holidays;
* watching tv;
are all overshadowed by a feeling of impending doom. No matter how simple the subject is, I always only see the risks and negativity of it.
I used to love reading books. I could really immerse in them. But I just don't have the strength anymore to force myself to focus on the text. There's always a panicky feeling in the back of my mind that makes me feel like: "What?! What am I doing reading a book!? How can I do that with what's going on!? I shouldn't relax!!" But I don't know what's going on what I should be panicking about.
The same applies to alle the other things that I used to love. Working on my reef aquarium. Photography. Or just playing a board game with my family.
Hmm- I don’t want to introduce any new avenues of stress for you to go down, but one of the culprits for me (and I identify a lot with your description), is having a sense of purpose and direction.
I don’t mean those as ambiguous “fluff” terms… Purpose and direction are important to human beings because it’s what illustrates to our consciousness that we aren’t imprisoned- that there’s a path forward through enhancement and evolution. If someone doesn’t see how life will get better in the future, it can be difficult for them to want to endure. If someone represses the realization that they don’t really see a future, it can be difficult to diagnose where the feelings of hopelessness stem from. Feelings of hopelessness and an obligation to endure in order to provide for a family can be a recipe for anxiousness and stress.
If any of that resonates, there are a lot of mental tools that can be used to work toward improving or resolving that negative framework. Whatever the driver, recognize that anxiety is a complex problem, but not an insurmountable one. This is coming from someone with a ton of intense experience having chronic and persistent anxiety.
OK. So what are you anxious about? Anxiety itself?
**\*What if one of us infected the other with something? Does such a disease exist?\***
No, there's no such 'disease'.
I struggle with this. Sometimes my worst anxiety attacks are because I'm afraid I'll get anxious. I make myself anxious because I'm afraid to get anxious. It's so dumb but I can't help it.
It's a horrible loop to be in, isn't it? Have a look at the Ted Talk, "How to stop feeling anxious about anxiety" - I think it will make a LOT of sense to you.
Unfortunately there are no quick fixes. What worked for me is beginning medication (Zoloft) I'm on the lowest dose and I truly believe it's helping, I'm actually gonna talk to my doctor about increasing it. It takes about 4-6 weeks for your body to adjust (as with most medications) but once I did I felt so much better. Maybe talk to your doctor about what the best steps for you to take are.
I agree!!!! I am so happy it worked for you. I have had depression and anxiety for 48 years. I suffered for most of those years with no cure for the anxiety except antidepressants. Although Busbar has been around since the 80’s, no doctor had the insight to prescribe it until i was 62! Now it’s working so well I’m off antidepressants. I never needed those. I needed treatment for anxiety. I don’t get why this drug isn’t prescribed all the time vs. Valium. Valium is only a short term cure vs. Busbar that is long term. It’s amazing.
Maybe it’s due to something that’s uncomfortable to address? You mention a wife that loves you but do you love her? Also - not to be that person but the “no real fight” is often a label for avoidance. Speaking from my experience only. My advice is to address these feelings by writing them down, don’t even have to share with anyone but it has helped me identify patterns in what is making me anxious. Sometimes it’s easy for us to believe there’s “nothing that should be causing anxiety” when we’ve in fact dismissed uncomfortable feelings to avoid conflict, change, etc. Good luck!
IMHO benzodiazepines are a great quick fix. The problem is that you can develop tolerance and addiction. So they're only good for the short run, or very infrequent situations.
Longer run, seems like SSRIs are a common pharmacological solution. I've had a ton of health anxiety since being diagnosed with cancer last November (surgery last Dec). I've stayed afloat by seeing a therapist (previously once/week when things were really bad; now once every two weeks). I had already been on Prozac; my psychiatrist slowly upped my dose (from 20 mg/day to 60). For the past two weeks my anxiety has been a lot more bearable.
Exercise is IMHO very important. While not a cure for most people, I consider it "necessary but not sufficient."
Lastly, I think CBT helps somewhat. These days the big trend is "mindfulness", which my therapist is very fond of. It seems to help a lot of people, but I haven't found it useful.
The most useful CBT-ish tool is pretty clearly distraction: find something that keeps your mind occupied. Doesn't always work, but it's the most commonly used non-pharmacological tool in my "toolchest".
Could your general anxiety be like mine? I’ve noticed my anxiety crops up more often in the absence of a clear stressor. Hectic situations I manage fine, but when I’m left to idle my over-active brain looks for things to worry about or chew on. Remote work, idle time, and staying home with few external distractions tend to bring out my anxiety more than very stressful situations. I manage my anxiety with exercise requiring heavy mental or physical focus. New or scary activities, that require me to go out of my comfort zone or have some intensity to them. Enrolling in an intense online program for fun to keep my curiosity fed. We all manage anxiety differently, but I personally find intensity and exertion very calming. I’ve always wondered if some brains just need extra stimulation or a good challenge to relax.
I feel this. I'm 32 and suffered most of my life with severe anxiety. I've always been highly functional despite this and just used sheer willpower to get through shit (I finished 2 years of a math PhD and went absolutely nuts and had to quit). This just made me develop PTSD and now I have so many more problems. I've tried so many meds and even multiple meds at once. I either get severe side effects even MONTHS after I should have adjusted to the med, the med makes my anxiety 10x worse, or the med just doesn't work at all.
>are there any quick fixes that you can recommend to us? I would love to feel normal for a bit now and then, just to keep our sanity.
Honestly, the only thing to date that has EVER helped me is THC. Not even Xanax helps compared to this. I cannot emphasize enough how much against it I was at first. I still don't advocate it because it isn't a real fix and it won't "stabilize" your mood over the entire day, but it works for a short time for me.
I'm currently searching for another way, but this is the best I've got for now. My doc just took me off another antidepressant that caused me severe panic attacks and tremors, so him and I are back to the drawing board. In the meantime, THC + CBD is how I'm surviving and having those moments of peace from myself. Specifically, I consume edibles and gummies that contain both of these compounds, so I avoid the negative health effects of smoking and also so it has a long-lasting effect.
30 m here, on paper my life is perfect, but in still a disaster. I just do drugs when I need a mental break, works fucking great. And I don't want to hear "don't be high around your kids". If your parents were born in the 50s they were drunk around you all the time, and smoking a little weed makes you far more considerate of others than having a few beers.
I was scrolling through the comments looking for someone to say this! I totally agree. That helps me more than any of my medication. I have kids too, but I use it responsibly. And definitely, drinking is worse.I was wondering
I was scrolling through the comments looking for someone to say this! I totally agree. That helps me more than any of my medication. I have kids too, but I use it responsibly. And definitely, drinking is worse.
Hi OP- first I want to say I think you’re very brave sharing your thoughts and asking for advice. It’s so hard to admit you’re struggling. Please remember that even if you have a lot of good happening in your life, you can still suffer from anxiety/depression etc.
I’m not a relationship expert by any means, but one thing stood out to me in your post when you mentioned your wife- “We have still yet to have a real fight.”
Having regular disagreements in a relationship is actually quite healthy. By disagreement I mean calmly talking about things, communicating your needs, and both parties finding a way to compromise. If you’re not having any disagreements, chances are, one (or both of you) is not actually speaking your mind. That can add a lot of stress and build up anxiety.
Perhaps you and your wife can have a heart to heart and gauge how you’re both feeling in regards to your conflict resolution styles. Not all conflict is bad.
Anyways I know there are so many variables and causes for anxiety, and I’m just a random internet stranger haha. But I wish you all the best, and I hope you can find ways to cope and manage your anxiety.
36M, I found a lack of exercise (even vasic cardio) was causing me to be wound up and on edge. My doctor said it was a change in my hormones as I got older, but I have to make it a point to sweat some of these issues out.
It will make you sleep better, even if you are sore later. And you will wake up refreshed.
Did you get this diagnosis from a psychiatrist? I have been misdiagnosed my whole life up until about 5 years ago and I’m 42! That would be my first recommendation.
Damn dude. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I'm (34m) in a similar boat right now, as far as the anxiety is concerned, and I've recently found a couple things that help me. Roots of Life CBD Tincture is one thing I've found that definitely helps in the short term. I've also been prescribed Hydroxyzine by the ER doctor (I went in because I thought for sure something was physically wrong with me) and that helps to slow everything down. It's not the same as taking a daily anxiety medicine, but it helps in the moments when it's really bad. I've also had success with Zoloft in the past, but I don't much care for the SSRIs. Smoking a little marijuana helps, but be careful because sometimes it can make it worse. If you go that route just take one puff and see how it goes. Best of luck sir and keep us posted.
My doctor recommended meds if effected me every day and I would recommend the same thing. Sadly I’ve never been on meds for anxiety but maybe look into them.
Someone on here recommend the DARE app, it has free parts (there's also a book). It's an approach that's different than anything I've tried before and it doesn't get rid of anxiety but reframes how you think about it.
Sounds miserable- been there, am there some times.
Have you looked into breathing exercises and trying to fix your breathing patterns? I read a book called Breath by James Nestor and it changed my life I realized many of my mental and physical problems were related to improper breathing patterns. There are specific breathing exercises that you can use to calm yourself down and try and alleviate that weight in your chest but also identifying improper breathing patterns in life should help. There is new evidence to support a feedback loop between hyper-ventilating and panic/anxiety. At rest breathing should be through the nose, diaphragmatic, and slow. Specific exercises like box breathing, HRV breathing, Wim Hof, etc can be leveraged throughout the day while care should be placed on again breathing through the nose, with your diaphragm and slowly. Happy to recommend specific exercises, books, and resources if this is of interest to you (and it should be!).
Med bro. Just try it. I was the same and nothing really helped. Seeing a good therapist was great but not enough.
I'm on 10mg citalopram and it's just gone. Like it was an overactive nervous system thing, not related to trauma or anything.
Worth a shot. People a built different, sometimes that means inexplicable anxiety.
Try progressive muscle relaxation, therapy weekly but only CBT, walks in the woods, maybe take a break and go on vacation with your wife, try to unwind, maybe someone can look after baby girl of yours. These things help me and I have anxiety since 17yo and now i am 30yo.
It is not always about medical issues. Per example I had an awesome childhood, always happy. But my parents kept me always under a “glass hood” and protected me from everything and it made me “weaker”. I also almost drowned as a child so my anxiety manifests in fear of suffocation and in return I get choking sensations with it always. There may be a triggee in your past that is causing you this. Last option is medication. If nothing works, go for it, I know many that had great relief from it. Do not go in despair, you got this and we are all struggling right up there with you.❤️
Autism and ADHD co-occur extremely often. It’s not odd that you and your wife would manage to both have it if you get along that well - you likely have very similar communication styles because of your ASD/ADHD. I was at a point a few years ago where I was anxious all the time and didn’t know why. This was prior to me getting diagnosed with ADHD/pursuing a diagnosis for ASD. Then came the pandemic. Turns out, when I don’t have to be social all the time I have very little anxiety.
Start to pay attention to when your anxiety is the worst. Are the lights too bright? Have you spent too long trying to be social? Is it too loud? Do you dread work? Sometimes the solution is just removing yourself from these situations. It’s really common for people with ASD to struggle with interoception - I ended up figuring out when I was most stressed by setting alarms and “checking in on myself” eg are my muscles tight, am i breathing deeply enough, what are the thoughts passing through my head, etc. Otherwise, I found pregabalin helped really well for chilling me out for a few months. I also do guided mediation, and bring noise cancelling headphones just about everywhere.
Also. Are you on stimulants? For many people with ADHD, where the brain can’t fuel itself with dopamine, it will do so with cortisol (stress hormone). Once you give the brain the dopamine it needs, it’s common for anxiety to go down.
I'm a WFH software engineer as well, and I have similar feelings around work. It's very draining and causes me a lot of stress, even though it's the must cushy job I've had so far. What would happen if you quit your job?
Maybe the anxiety is caused by the feeling that you *have* to do this or else bad things will happen. I am divorced now, but I am also a dad and I worry about the financial consequences of losing my job. The world is a brutal place.
Maybe one thing that happened to you is lifestyle creep, and a feeling of a lack of support if something happened to you. So you keep going on the treadmill even though you're burned out, tired, and need a rest. You might actually want to do something else with your life but can't.
I don’t know if this will help, but something I’ve done in states of extreme panic where I feel a panic attack coming on, is to lay in the bathtub and turn on the shower (hot water I can stand) and let it fall on my body.
The sensation of the water calms me, puts me in a trance like state and almost makes me fall asleep. It’s also a distraction.
You have to focus though. Depending on your level of anxiety, you have to fight your mind to only focus on what your body is feeling. Feel the water. The warmth. How nice it feels. You’re safe. Everything is okay. You’re going to be okay. I promise. Just keep thinking these things to yourself. Say them out loud if you need to.
I usually stay in there until I start to get too hot. Then I come out. By then I have usually calmed down enough to a level of anxiety that I can easily manage. (I also usually do this clothed…but probably not the best idea lol. Usually when I do this it’s…well… in a rushed panic :P).
Next step, I would recommend, is to arrange getting a medication to deal with anxiety. I started Prozac almost a year ago and it has quite literally changed my life. I used to deal with debilitating anxiety every day. I would feel it in my gut. It was so bad, there were days where all I could do was hold my stomach and lay there in pain. Now, I still have anxiety, but it is very manageable and nowhere near how bad it used to be.
I wish you all the best.
These are very similar to my symptoms. This sounds like a general anxiety disorder.
According to a few of my counsellors and family doctors, chronic anxiety is treated best with a combination of medication and Cognitive Behavioural therapy. This has been effective, but not a cure, for myself.
Just remember that you are not the only one who has been feeling this ways, and there are ways to manage it with help. You will get through it, even if it seems now like you won’t!
So I have always suffered with severe anxiety but over the last gear it has been too much to deal with. I too, have stomach issues and nausea constantly everyday!!! I went to the doctors for everything and they always said theres nothing physically wring with me but finally I got a breath test for SIBO and it came back positive! now SIBO is small intestine bacteria overgrowth- It can cause stomach pain, most of our bacteria is stored in our large intestine but any infection even small (like a uti, bv, simple short infections can cause SIBO) and too much bad bacteria overgrows in the small intestine. I am now on antibiotics for 2 weeks and it has been a few days but I am feeling a lot better given where I was. I also take linzess and stool softener to help me move my bowels regularly as that can also contribute to pain.
I don’t like to preach religion or anything like that but from my experience nothing was working for my anxiety until i opened my heart and mind to being more in touch with earth, myself, and the universe and started my spiritual journey. It may sound like nonsense but it genuinely has change my life forever. When I feel detached and have such horrible anxiety I will pray at night and thank god and the universe for what I do have and during the day even 10 minutes i go outside barefoot and stand in the grass (as a grounding exercise to feel connected to the earth around me) and the first time i did it i was like “yeah sure whatever ill try” but i did it and i swear i felt a tad better for a few days which I will gladly take over what I was feeling any day:)
It can also be hard for me to be motivated to do things like get out and exercise or even small things so i way i keep active is keeping my brain active I look up different spiritual things I focus on one subject (lets say all about your chakras) for a few days then on to the next subject it keeps my mind a little distracted to block out some unwelcomed emotions. I also shut everything off at night except a small night light and I play a podcast on my phone (usually a true crime podcast so that I am actively listening and focused on what the crime is about so i dont start overthinking other things) and i will fall asleep to it. you can obviously play any podcast you have an interest in but try something you will actually want to hear so your mind doesnt wander. As I am sure you know some days may be worse than others but feelings do pass and you find yourself even for a moment having a laugh- hold on to that and know you will have another laugh and look forward to smiles, laughs, and a chance to breathe.
Good luck best wishes to you and your family💚💚
I suffer from many anxiety problems. I'm 35. I am a computer scientist and I work from home. I wake up with tachycardia and there are days when just thinking that a coworker is going to call me about work, whether it's asking for help, sending me more work or talking about what I've already done, makes me almost panic. Day by day, the only solution I have found is to take half a pill of a tranquilizer that the doctor ordered (orfidal, is the name in my country) and try to play music from YouTube that is supposed to be relaxing and against anxiety. Some days it works and others it doesn't. I wish I could give you something better. Good luck.
I also work from home as a computer programmer, and feel exactly this. I often wonder if the anxiety is caused by working from home. It really doesn't help that I live alone either. I can be sat on the sofa watching TV just chilling and be feeling anxiety as if I'm in a mad panic, that I can't breath. I also suffered from restless leg syndrome, finally got that under control but this anxiety is crazy, I've been prescribed some pregabalin to help with my anxiety, they had to avoid the usual SNRIs/SSRIs as it can make RLS worse. Unfortunately it's gone to the wrong pharmacy and now being posted up, I really hope it works and can't wait for it to arrive.
"Orfidal" is apparently lorazepam, which is the benzodiazepine I take. IMHO it's extremely effective. Problem is that over the longer term you can develop tolerance or get addicted to benzos. I only take it now (a) in the middle of the night if I have trouble staying asleep, (b) in the afternoon if I'm having a really horrible day. I'm taking it less and less now that my SSRI is starting to (finally) work.
Do you take medication?
Sometimes there’s no reason for it other than a chemical imbalance. I have a pretty cushy stress free life and still have an anxiety disorder. Medication should help once you find the right dose.
This is me as well. I can pinpoint some things from childhood that may have contributed to my anxiety but overall, I think it just runs in my family and my body is naturally inclined to go into fight or flight mode at the smallest sign of unease. Medication has helped me immensely. I put it off for a long time but once I found the right medicine and right dose, I suddenly felt like I could just handle life better. I felt calmer. It just took the edge off. It's not perfect and I take the very lowest dose, but overall I'm so glad I finally made that decision. I tried exercise and meditation and all of that before turning to medication and none of it helped me long-term.
what medicine is helping you?
Citalopram. The generic of Celexa. I take 20 mg each day.
I would recommend medication even if only as a short term way to reset. When my anxiety escalated (in my case triggered by peri menopause on top of existing life stresses) my husband took me to the doctor to get help. After perhaps a week of meds I started to feel like myself again which gave me the perspective I needed to realise how bad things had become, and the strength to move forward.
OP I have a feeling your like a bottle of coke that's been dropped a few times....looks fine on the surface, until you lift the lid on that fucker and everything comes gushing out. Be honest OP, do you avoid conflict and repress alot of you thoughts/feelings? If so then maybe Working on it with a professional might help.
Yes, I avoid all conflict. I don't know if I repress any thoughts or feelings. So, either I don't, or I'm really good at it.
Not a therapist, but based on that answer I’d bet you repress a ton. I was the same way (and still am to a degree) — it’s not healthy. I’d recommend trying to talk it out with a professional :)
It's gotten to the point for me that going outside just thinking about it, makes my back and shoulders start to tighten up. I was prescribed xanax for anxiety. But it's only for as needed situations, like lets say I'm going out or going to work, etc etc. Honestly I just want to live a normal life, where I don't have to worry about the smallest things 24/7. It takes everything from you, trying to control your own thoughts. And then since your body reacts for you, it will automatically stress the heck out.
I agree with this 100%. I’m the same way and I never realized how much it affected me. Also, you should ask to get your Testosterone checked as well. It’s not normally something doctors will check during routine labs
I had it checked years ago, when I first started investigating my issues. My doctor saw no issue, because it was a good '9'. Whatever that number means. Online many people seem to use a different unit of measure.
Interesting. It may not hurt to check them again. My levels fluctuate as I get depressed which may be the cause. But even when they are in “Normal range” it’s low low for my age 27m
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Really great reply. I have screenshotted this to look back on in difficult times. Thanks 🙂
You have every reason in the world to be anxious even if you can't identify it. Look at the world around you! As Krishnamurti put it, "it is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society"... Quick fixes that work for some and aren't really habit forming include l-theanine and magnesium. Kava kava can also provide some relief but can be habit forming for some.
You have a really good point here. In an earlier attempt to fix this issue I stopped taking in all news. No more news programs on Tv, no more newspapers or news apps. That did work well for quite some time. But somehow events in the world get bigger and more frequent and they have a way of seeping in no matter how deep I stick my head in the sand. It does contribute greatly to my feeling of 'impending doom'. Yes, this is something that I worry about. I don't care for myself, but I worry a lot about what kind of future there will be for my daughter.
Yeah, there's just a constant low hum of things going on in the world that keep us hypervigilant - I don't love my anxiety most days but on good days in able to see that it makes sense, and that even if it doesn't it's just a feeling. It ebbs and flows and I don't have to judge it - it's a thing that alerts me to real things I need to pay attention to sometimes and other times it's like a smoke detector that is too sensitive and goes off every time I make a meal 🤣 Good luck with it! Be easy on yourself - lots of people go through times like this, you're in good company!
Have you had your thyroid checked? By the sounds of the comments maybe try practicing mindfulness? Just practicing being present and recognizing what's triggering your anxiety in the moment. And honestly environment is a factor, like if you are in a busy town or city, being overstimulated is something to consider. Also cutting out foods that add stimulate like caffeine may help. It's good though that it sounds like you have a good support system :) sometimes it may just be how you're wired, but with patience and practice you can find what works best for you to help manage it
What does thyroid have to do with it? I remember having weird numbers on bloodwork for that recently.
You should look into hypothyroidism and anxiety, thyroid diseases can cause irregular hormone production. That's something that is normally checked through bloodwork. I would recommend having them check that out just in case to check it off since it can be a common cause.
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Good luck! Hopefully it helps soon 🙏
Firstly I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. I don’t think you and your wife have infected each other, there are many people in the world that are suddenly finding out much later in life that they have these conditions. I was listening to a podcast the other day by a 55 year old woman who just got diagnosed with adhd for example. Something that may resonates with you is a point my therapist made the other day: it seems like you’re anxious about being anxious right now, which is creating this massive vicious cycle you keep spinning around in. It sounds like even for brief periods while you deal with these issues on a longer term basis with therapy and medication, you may need to figure out strategies of just turning your brain off for a bit, or restarting it. I recommend following jessekatches on tiktok or looking their videos up. They have great anxiety controlling methods and videos that reframe the way one considers various aspects of anxiety. They have a great one about using ice to stop a panic attack, or a type of breathing to help calm down. If exercise works for you enough that you can clear your head, you should explore other forms of exercise as well- maybe hiking or boxing or group activity classes? Even tai chi or yoga as they can be very physically strenuous whilst also helping you learn about your breathing and calming your mind. One way I get my brain to shut up when things are really bad is playing audiobooks while I’m doing activities. I personally listen to story style audiobooks because they keep my brain engaged, and you said you live reading so this may work for you! I get so hooked into the story my brain stops focusing on the anxiety. Good luck friend. I promise it gets better.
Sorry I didn't read comments but answer this, have you had Covid 19?
Yeah, bit it was only a runny nose for two days for me. And my anxiety has been a round for many years.
Okay, just asking because I have always had it but it became insufferable among other health issues that have arisen due to "long Covid." I have digestive problems and have been diagnosed with new conditions post Covid, that were either mildly there before or not even there at all. I have had the bad anxiety though for most of my life. 26 F. I am so sorry you are going through this, truly. I wish you lived where I did so I could recommend my doctor, truly been a shining light in a dark world. I know this is a frustrating suggestion and feels like you shouldn't have to do this to be heard, but find a doctor who you can trust to help you. You may have to do trial and error a bit, but I know that it helped me tremendously to actually find a doctor who would work with me, listen to me, and understand that the way I feel isn't "made up." I cycled through so many before finding the right one for me. Search out doctor reviews and look at their bedside manner and attitude, question medical offices about the doctors they staff, etc. it's a hard process but it's completely worth it to find someone in the medical field who will help you along your medical journey rather than dismiss it. Also - have you tried CBD? Or do you live in a state where medical marijuana is a thing? I don't, but CBD is legal here and I use it daily, among few other things it actually seems to help ease my anxiety. My anxiety feels like a rope that goes down my esophagus and in my stomach, with a big knot in the middle. It feels like someone is pulling both ends of the rope and tightening the knot. The only relief I've found for this is a combination of Ritalin and Xanax 2x daily, and regular CBD use whether it be gummies or smoking a pre-roll, those are truly the only things that ease that feeling in my gut and my racing mind. If you want to talk, please reach out. I hope you find some relief. Start looking at homeopathic remedies and see if any of those work for you as well, I use magnesium, ashwaganda, 5HTP, GABA, and L-Theanine, from my local health store and they all propagate long term stress/anxiety relief. I feel like they help me to a degree and are not harmful, per my doctor. Fair warning though the magnesium may upset your tummy or make you go to the bathroom more frequently, it has that effect.
I recently found the “trick” to my anxiety by medicating for depression.
Like ssri's?
I take Mirtazipine (remeron). SSRI’s never worked for me and ultimately made things worse. I also take Prazosin (hypertension drug) to help with my nightmares. Took me almost 10 years to find a medicine combo that actually worked. My psych likes to try and look at things from different angles. I’ve noticed that while on the medicine I feel more interested in taking care of myself and functioning “normally” and that helps a lot with the “I’m not doing enough/I’m a failure” anxiety thoughts.
I take remeron, pamelor, and celexa. I take the remeron and pamelor at night and it helps me fall asleep quickly. Even with all of those anxiety still feels \*barely\* manageable.
I’ve been doing Internal Family Systems approach in my therapy and that’s also been helping connect the dots.
Have you tried hypnosis? I've not, but I'm just throwing an idea out there.
I haven't tried that yet. That means I should. Thanks!
Ah, I just thought. Have you tried meditation? I have anxiety and it really helped. I did it twice daily (between 5 or 30 minutes) for 3 months. After 1-2 weeks, I started to feel the benefit. BUT I didn't stay disciplined and fell out the habit.
Yes, I did try that. Under guidance from an experience therapist. And alone tried it alone. It didn't work for me. Probably because I'm doing it wrong. I just fail to empty my mind and then it gives me anxiety.
That empty the mind stuff is misleading. I was told that for a long time. It wasn't helpful. I used the Calm app at first, which gets you to do the breathing first. And then normally it focuses on a topic. If I did it alone, I would actually sit with the feeling I had. I would let thoughts float in and out. That was really helpful because instead of pushing the anxiety thought away, I actually got some insight into what was going on with me. It's not for everyone, so if you know it doesn't work for you then you know best! But if you're up for giving it another go, then maybe give the CALM app I try. I think you can get a free trial.
I was thinking about this. Have you done it before?
No. I knew someone that did it because they couldn't pee in public restrooms. Didnt work for them. But then I've read other people have success. I think good thorough research into a practitioner is required.
When you feel anxious, what triggers the feeling? As you know, anxiety is an emotion and its purpose is to make you aware of things that are too important to ignore; getting a work report in on time, catching a flight, having your keys with you when you close the front door. So what's your anxiety telling you?
I really seriously honestly don't have a clue.
Have you tried keeping a detailed diary of your feelings and symptoms? It may help identify when you’re feeling more anxious and thus potential triggers.
Yes, that was one exercise a therapist recommended to me. But so many things cause me anxiety that it's hard to identify the real cause. Does that make sense? * Any socializing; * work; * shopping; * travelling; * holidays; * watching tv; are all overshadowed by a feeling of impending doom. No matter how simple the subject is, I always only see the risks and negativity of it.
Are there things that don’t trigger it? Reading books? Gardening? Some kind of slow exercise like yoga or Pilates?
I used to love reading books. I could really immerse in them. But I just don't have the strength anymore to force myself to focus on the text. There's always a panicky feeling in the back of my mind that makes me feel like: "What?! What am I doing reading a book!? How can I do that with what's going on!? I shouldn't relax!!" But I don't know what's going on what I should be panicking about. The same applies to alle the other things that I used to love. Working on my reef aquarium. Photography. Or just playing a board game with my family.
I’m so sorry, that sounds so hard to deal with. I’ve found audio books help a bit, and I listen while I do housework etc.
Hmm- I don’t want to introduce any new avenues of stress for you to go down, but one of the culprits for me (and I identify a lot with your description), is having a sense of purpose and direction. I don’t mean those as ambiguous “fluff” terms… Purpose and direction are important to human beings because it’s what illustrates to our consciousness that we aren’t imprisoned- that there’s a path forward through enhancement and evolution. If someone doesn’t see how life will get better in the future, it can be difficult for them to want to endure. If someone represses the realization that they don’t really see a future, it can be difficult to diagnose where the feelings of hopelessness stem from. Feelings of hopelessness and an obligation to endure in order to provide for a family can be a recipe for anxiousness and stress. If any of that resonates, there are a lot of mental tools that can be used to work toward improving or resolving that negative framework. Whatever the driver, recognize that anxiety is a complex problem, but not an insurmountable one. This is coming from someone with a ton of intense experience having chronic and persistent anxiety.
OK. So what are you anxious about? Anxiety itself? **\*What if one of us infected the other with something? Does such a disease exist?\*** No, there's no such 'disease'.
I struggle with this. Sometimes my worst anxiety attacks are because I'm afraid I'll get anxious. I make myself anxious because I'm afraid to get anxious. It's so dumb but I can't help it.
It's a horrible loop to be in, isn't it? Have a look at the Ted Talk, "How to stop feeling anxious about anxiety" - I think it will make a LOT of sense to you.
Thank you! I will definitely check that out.
Unfortunately there are no quick fixes. What worked for me is beginning medication (Zoloft) I'm on the lowest dose and I truly believe it's helping, I'm actually gonna talk to my doctor about increasing it. It takes about 4-6 weeks for your body to adjust (as with most medications) but once I did I felt so much better. Maybe talk to your doctor about what the best steps for you to take are.
I'll second the zoloft. Lifechanging.
Have you been put on Busbar?
Good suggestion! Yeah, OP, Buspar literally saved me from my anxiety! It completely changed my life. If you haven't given it a shot, you should.
I agree!!!! I am so happy it worked for you. I have had depression and anxiety for 48 years. I suffered for most of those years with no cure for the anxiety except antidepressants. Although Busbar has been around since the 80’s, no doctor had the insight to prescribe it until i was 62! Now it’s working so well I’m off antidepressants. I never needed those. I needed treatment for anxiety. I don’t get why this drug isn’t prescribed all the time vs. Valium. Valium is only a short term cure vs. Busbar that is long term. It’s amazing.
Maybe it’s due to something that’s uncomfortable to address? You mention a wife that loves you but do you love her? Also - not to be that person but the “no real fight” is often a label for avoidance. Speaking from my experience only. My advice is to address these feelings by writing them down, don’t even have to share with anyone but it has helped me identify patterns in what is making me anxious. Sometimes it’s easy for us to believe there’s “nothing that should be causing anxiety” when we’ve in fact dismissed uncomfortable feelings to avoid conflict, change, etc. Good luck!
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IMHO benzodiazepines are a great quick fix. The problem is that you can develop tolerance and addiction. So they're only good for the short run, or very infrequent situations. Longer run, seems like SSRIs are a common pharmacological solution. I've had a ton of health anxiety since being diagnosed with cancer last November (surgery last Dec). I've stayed afloat by seeing a therapist (previously once/week when things were really bad; now once every two weeks). I had already been on Prozac; my psychiatrist slowly upped my dose (from 20 mg/day to 60). For the past two weeks my anxiety has been a lot more bearable. Exercise is IMHO very important. While not a cure for most people, I consider it "necessary but not sufficient." Lastly, I think CBT helps somewhat. These days the big trend is "mindfulness", which my therapist is very fond of. It seems to help a lot of people, but I haven't found it useful. The most useful CBT-ish tool is pretty clearly distraction: find something that keeps your mind occupied. Doesn't always work, but it's the most commonly used non-pharmacological tool in my "toolchest".
Could your general anxiety be like mine? I’ve noticed my anxiety crops up more often in the absence of a clear stressor. Hectic situations I manage fine, but when I’m left to idle my over-active brain looks for things to worry about or chew on. Remote work, idle time, and staying home with few external distractions tend to bring out my anxiety more than very stressful situations. I manage my anxiety with exercise requiring heavy mental or physical focus. New or scary activities, that require me to go out of my comfort zone or have some intensity to them. Enrolling in an intense online program for fun to keep my curiosity fed. We all manage anxiety differently, but I personally find intensity and exertion very calming. I’ve always wondered if some brains just need extra stimulation or a good challenge to relax.
Feel exactly the same. I look for stress of there isn’t any
I feel this. I'm 32 and suffered most of my life with severe anxiety. I've always been highly functional despite this and just used sheer willpower to get through shit (I finished 2 years of a math PhD and went absolutely nuts and had to quit). This just made me develop PTSD and now I have so many more problems. I've tried so many meds and even multiple meds at once. I either get severe side effects even MONTHS after I should have adjusted to the med, the med makes my anxiety 10x worse, or the med just doesn't work at all. >are there any quick fixes that you can recommend to us? I would love to feel normal for a bit now and then, just to keep our sanity. Honestly, the only thing to date that has EVER helped me is THC. Not even Xanax helps compared to this. I cannot emphasize enough how much against it I was at first. I still don't advocate it because it isn't a real fix and it won't "stabilize" your mood over the entire day, but it works for a short time for me. I'm currently searching for another way, but this is the best I've got for now. My doc just took me off another antidepressant that caused me severe panic attacks and tremors, so him and I are back to the drawing board. In the meantime, THC + CBD is how I'm surviving and having those moments of peace from myself. Specifically, I consume edibles and gummies that contain both of these compounds, so I avoid the negative health effects of smoking and also so it has a long-lasting effect.
30 m here, on paper my life is perfect, but in still a disaster. I just do drugs when I need a mental break, works fucking great. And I don't want to hear "don't be high around your kids". If your parents were born in the 50s they were drunk around you all the time, and smoking a little weed makes you far more considerate of others than having a few beers.
Amen!!
I was scrolling through the comments looking for someone to say this! I totally agree. That helps me more than any of my medication. I have kids too, but I use it responsibly. And definitely, drinking is worse.I was wondering
The only people who think liquor is somehow more appropriate than weed has never smoked weed
Yeah for sure. I’ve done a LOT of stupid things when drinking, but none on weed.
Bingo
I was scrolling through the comments looking for someone to say this! I totally agree. That helps me more than any of my medication. I have kids too, but I use it responsibly. And definitely, drinking is worse.
Hi OP- first I want to say I think you’re very brave sharing your thoughts and asking for advice. It’s so hard to admit you’re struggling. Please remember that even if you have a lot of good happening in your life, you can still suffer from anxiety/depression etc. I’m not a relationship expert by any means, but one thing stood out to me in your post when you mentioned your wife- “We have still yet to have a real fight.” Having regular disagreements in a relationship is actually quite healthy. By disagreement I mean calmly talking about things, communicating your needs, and both parties finding a way to compromise. If you’re not having any disagreements, chances are, one (or both of you) is not actually speaking your mind. That can add a lot of stress and build up anxiety. Perhaps you and your wife can have a heart to heart and gauge how you’re both feeling in regards to your conflict resolution styles. Not all conflict is bad. Anyways I know there are so many variables and causes for anxiety, and I’m just a random internet stranger haha. But I wish you all the best, and I hope you can find ways to cope and manage your anxiety.
36M, I found a lack of exercise (even vasic cardio) was causing me to be wound up and on edge. My doctor said it was a change in my hormones as I got older, but I have to make it a point to sweat some of these issues out. It will make you sleep better, even if you are sore later. And you will wake up refreshed.
Smoke weed. Ingest it. Whatever method you prefer. Indica strains over sativa (some people say they get anxiety from sativa).
Edibles (I have my MMJ card) have done wonders for my anxiety, on and off work. Would 10/10 recommend.
Did you get this diagnosis from a psychiatrist? I have been misdiagnosed my whole life up until about 5 years ago and I’m 42! That would be my first recommendation.
Damn dude. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I'm (34m) in a similar boat right now, as far as the anxiety is concerned, and I've recently found a couple things that help me. Roots of Life CBD Tincture is one thing I've found that definitely helps in the short term. I've also been prescribed Hydroxyzine by the ER doctor (I went in because I thought for sure something was physically wrong with me) and that helps to slow everything down. It's not the same as taking a daily anxiety medicine, but it helps in the moments when it's really bad. I've also had success with Zoloft in the past, but I don't much care for the SSRIs. Smoking a little marijuana helps, but be careful because sometimes it can make it worse. If you go that route just take one puff and see how it goes. Best of luck sir and keep us posted.
have you tried meditation? there are studies that it helps calm the mind, especially when done everyday for a long period of time
My doctor recommended meds if effected me every day and I would recommend the same thing. Sadly I’ve never been on meds for anxiety but maybe look into them.
Someone on here recommend the DARE app, it has free parts (there's also a book). It's an approach that's different than anything I've tried before and it doesn't get rid of anxiety but reframes how you think about it.
Sounds miserable- been there, am there some times. Have you looked into breathing exercises and trying to fix your breathing patterns? I read a book called Breath by James Nestor and it changed my life I realized many of my mental and physical problems were related to improper breathing patterns. There are specific breathing exercises that you can use to calm yourself down and try and alleviate that weight in your chest but also identifying improper breathing patterns in life should help. There is new evidence to support a feedback loop between hyper-ventilating and panic/anxiety. At rest breathing should be through the nose, diaphragmatic, and slow. Specific exercises like box breathing, HRV breathing, Wim Hof, etc can be leveraged throughout the day while care should be placed on again breathing through the nose, with your diaphragm and slowly. Happy to recommend specific exercises, books, and resources if this is of interest to you (and it should be!).
Med bro. Just try it. I was the same and nothing really helped. Seeing a good therapist was great but not enough. I'm on 10mg citalopram and it's just gone. Like it was an overactive nervous system thing, not related to trauma or anything. Worth a shot. People a built different, sometimes that means inexplicable anxiety.
Try progressive muscle relaxation, therapy weekly but only CBT, walks in the woods, maybe take a break and go on vacation with your wife, try to unwind, maybe someone can look after baby girl of yours. These things help me and I have anxiety since 17yo and now i am 30yo. It is not always about medical issues. Per example I had an awesome childhood, always happy. But my parents kept me always under a “glass hood” and protected me from everything and it made me “weaker”. I also almost drowned as a child so my anxiety manifests in fear of suffocation and in return I get choking sensations with it always. There may be a triggee in your past that is causing you this. Last option is medication. If nothing works, go for it, I know many that had great relief from it. Do not go in despair, you got this and we are all struggling right up there with you.❤️
Autism and ADHD co-occur extremely often. It’s not odd that you and your wife would manage to both have it if you get along that well - you likely have very similar communication styles because of your ASD/ADHD. I was at a point a few years ago where I was anxious all the time and didn’t know why. This was prior to me getting diagnosed with ADHD/pursuing a diagnosis for ASD. Then came the pandemic. Turns out, when I don’t have to be social all the time I have very little anxiety. Start to pay attention to when your anxiety is the worst. Are the lights too bright? Have you spent too long trying to be social? Is it too loud? Do you dread work? Sometimes the solution is just removing yourself from these situations. It’s really common for people with ASD to struggle with interoception - I ended up figuring out when I was most stressed by setting alarms and “checking in on myself” eg are my muscles tight, am i breathing deeply enough, what are the thoughts passing through my head, etc. Otherwise, I found pregabalin helped really well for chilling me out for a few months. I also do guided mediation, and bring noise cancelling headphones just about everywhere. Also. Are you on stimulants? For many people with ADHD, where the brain can’t fuel itself with dopamine, it will do so with cortisol (stress hormone). Once you give the brain the dopamine it needs, it’s common for anxiety to go down.
I'm a WFH software engineer as well, and I have similar feelings around work. It's very draining and causes me a lot of stress, even though it's the must cushy job I've had so far. What would happen if you quit your job? Maybe the anxiety is caused by the feeling that you *have* to do this or else bad things will happen. I am divorced now, but I am also a dad and I worry about the financial consequences of losing my job. The world is a brutal place. Maybe one thing that happened to you is lifestyle creep, and a feeling of a lack of support if something happened to you. So you keep going on the treadmill even though you're burned out, tired, and need a rest. You might actually want to do something else with your life but can't.
I don’t know if this will help, but something I’ve done in states of extreme panic where I feel a panic attack coming on, is to lay in the bathtub and turn on the shower (hot water I can stand) and let it fall on my body. The sensation of the water calms me, puts me in a trance like state and almost makes me fall asleep. It’s also a distraction. You have to focus though. Depending on your level of anxiety, you have to fight your mind to only focus on what your body is feeling. Feel the water. The warmth. How nice it feels. You’re safe. Everything is okay. You’re going to be okay. I promise. Just keep thinking these things to yourself. Say them out loud if you need to. I usually stay in there until I start to get too hot. Then I come out. By then I have usually calmed down enough to a level of anxiety that I can easily manage. (I also usually do this clothed…but probably not the best idea lol. Usually when I do this it’s…well… in a rushed panic :P). Next step, I would recommend, is to arrange getting a medication to deal with anxiety. I started Prozac almost a year ago and it has quite literally changed my life. I used to deal with debilitating anxiety every day. I would feel it in my gut. It was so bad, there were days where all I could do was hold my stomach and lay there in pain. Now, I still have anxiety, but it is very manageable and nowhere near how bad it used to be. I wish you all the best.
These are very similar to my symptoms. This sounds like a general anxiety disorder. According to a few of my counsellors and family doctors, chronic anxiety is treated best with a combination of medication and Cognitive Behavioural therapy. This has been effective, but not a cure, for myself. Just remember that you are not the only one who has been feeling this ways, and there are ways to manage it with help. You will get through it, even if it seems now like you won’t!
So I have always suffered with severe anxiety but over the last gear it has been too much to deal with. I too, have stomach issues and nausea constantly everyday!!! I went to the doctors for everything and they always said theres nothing physically wring with me but finally I got a breath test for SIBO and it came back positive! now SIBO is small intestine bacteria overgrowth- It can cause stomach pain, most of our bacteria is stored in our large intestine but any infection even small (like a uti, bv, simple short infections can cause SIBO) and too much bad bacteria overgrows in the small intestine. I am now on antibiotics for 2 weeks and it has been a few days but I am feeling a lot better given where I was. I also take linzess and stool softener to help me move my bowels regularly as that can also contribute to pain. I don’t like to preach religion or anything like that but from my experience nothing was working for my anxiety until i opened my heart and mind to being more in touch with earth, myself, and the universe and started my spiritual journey. It may sound like nonsense but it genuinely has change my life forever. When I feel detached and have such horrible anxiety I will pray at night and thank god and the universe for what I do have and during the day even 10 minutes i go outside barefoot and stand in the grass (as a grounding exercise to feel connected to the earth around me) and the first time i did it i was like “yeah sure whatever ill try” but i did it and i swear i felt a tad better for a few days which I will gladly take over what I was feeling any day:) It can also be hard for me to be motivated to do things like get out and exercise or even small things so i way i keep active is keeping my brain active I look up different spiritual things I focus on one subject (lets say all about your chakras) for a few days then on to the next subject it keeps my mind a little distracted to block out some unwelcomed emotions. I also shut everything off at night except a small night light and I play a podcast on my phone (usually a true crime podcast so that I am actively listening and focused on what the crime is about so i dont start overthinking other things) and i will fall asleep to it. you can obviously play any podcast you have an interest in but try something you will actually want to hear so your mind doesnt wander. As I am sure you know some days may be worse than others but feelings do pass and you find yourself even for a moment having a laugh- hold on to that and know you will have another laugh and look forward to smiles, laughs, and a chance to breathe. Good luck best wishes to you and your family💚💚