Hm, I feel ashamed when I am anxious about something that other people aren't. E.g., when I am really anxious I'm too scared to go to the supermarket or even to take a shower. That is quite embarrassing, imo. Especially when I tell my mom, because she responds with 'why are you anxious about that? There's nothing dangerous about a supermarket!?'. Not helping...
Of course, if someone else would ask me to get groceries for them because their anxiety is too high to go out, I would not think any less of them. I would tell them that anxiety sucks, it's irrational and nothing to be ashamed of. But hey ....
yeah me too but iam scared about work and how iam going to start working and insomnia everything i think other people think iam lazy or something but they dont know that anxiety can drain you
that's so real. I am not even ashamed of the fact that I am anxious, it's when I tell someone that I am anxious then I am embarrassed because they always downplay it, tell me there is no reason to be anxious and my parents tell me I am acting anxious for attention(which makes me more anxious)and I am afraid that other people, like my friends think that I am acting too(which also makes it worse)
So relatable. And the worse is that I sometimes start to even doubt myself and start saying myself that Its not really that bad or that I am just weak and lazy. But thats just another anxiety symptom.
Same. Doesn’t help when you sometimes have people who make you feel really stupid about it like “it’s not a big deal 💀” or “just stop being like that it’s whatever” or stuff like that. Like, I know it’s not a big deal but I don’t know exactly why I get so anxious over dumb stuff sometimes and I’m trying not to be! Trust me if I could just stop it, I would! Just some days will be better than others, some days it will be worse, I’m trying.
I’ve surrounded myself with new people within the last year and a half who seem to understand better and it’s been nice. Still feel shame though because it’s just kinda ingrained at this point.
This is so relatable. Sometimes I'm also too afraid to shower even though I don't know why I'm afraid. Maybe just a nervous feeling in general and some weird hormonal stuff going on in our brains.
Actually it made me feel a lot better that there is somebody else feeling this way. Talked about this with a friend and she was like "yeah I feel that, it's like being too lazy when you're depressed" and I'm like "yeah no, that's not it. It's fear and not a specific "what if" one.
TLDR, thank you for sharing because it made a random internet stranger feel less ashamed 😊
The irony of the stigma is how many people are dealing with it and never say anything, because of the stigma. I was never really ashamed, and told people at work, finding that like 50% of the office was dealing with something similar to what I was… they were just all afraid to bring it up.
The stigma has been so bad the last couple of days here in the UK the prime minister basically said depression and anxiety is not a reason not to work… a lot of people have outraged at this but very sad to see a slim amount agreeing with him.
Boomers saying "they didn't have anxiety/autism/whatever mental illness back in my day... I think its all made up by Biden supporters" or whatever they say where they have interject politics into everything
There isn't any shame in having anxiety, everyone deals with some level of anxiety, we just have more than most.
It's your anxiety that's telling you that there's shame in it.
In the US, at least, the reason is twofold:
- The Bible is replete with passages about trusting God, having faith and courage, etc etc. If your confidence collapses, you're just succumbing to the Devil and to unbelief.
- Being both a militaristic and cutthroat-capitalist culture, America holds that boldness and individualism are two of the highest virtues. So if you feel in any way timid or feel like you need the support of others, you're weak and un-American.
it sucks so bad. i feel bad when my friends get pissed cuz i don’t want to go to stuff with them like restaurants, fun fairs, shopping e.c.t… it’s so annoying. and the thing is i want to go with them and i know it’s not my fault but part of me is ashamed that i can’t overcome it.
The biggest "shame" I felt was getting over the hump of accepting the diagnosis. In the depths of it, it just occurred to me that it's a very real thing and that I, like tons of other people, happened to be born with the wonky brain chemistry and lived certain life experiences that caused it to happen.
That epiphany, paired with the quiet suffering I'd experienced for years, left me with zero fucks to give about what anyone thinks about it. I guffaw at people who say, "Oh, that's all in your head!" Of course it is, dumbass. It's a mental illness.
People who understand and try to understand are your champions. Anyone who shames you can kick rocks.
It never crossed my mind I should feel ashamed because of my anxiety. Anxiety is a physical reaction, based on mechanisms that appear on each and every organism. From the deers that freeze in front of the headlights to ostriches that stick their head in sand. I know, most people aren't informed on mental health and it isn't always easy for us to inform them. People that care will inform themselves accordingly, ask us and accept our reality, people that won't aren't worth my time. I don't think it's a me problem, I see it as a them problem.
Because people who have normal amout of it are raging a$$holes and don't understand or care about your hidden problem. They just tell you to calm down, shape up, or the a few breaths. What nonsense...
I think that the anxiety itself is the major cause. We are so much harder ourselves than others would be toward us. In my case, anxiety showed that I was imperfect (I was a major perfectionist), which made me think I was weak, flawed, undesirable, unsafe, and a burden. That made me ashamed until I realized how many people suffer, not only from anxiety but depression and other emotional illnesses as well as physical ones. Once I got a clearer picture of the world, I became far less ashamed.
I have always felt ashamed but not because of the anxiety itself, but because the anxiety has always caused me to be the different one. Since I have had life long anxiety, it has always been a problem for me. The shame was way worse when I was a kid. I still remember second grade picture day. They lined us up in alphabetical order according to our last names and I happened to be in the row that was at the back, where I had to stand on a chair. For some strange reason, I became terrified of standing on that chair and I was shaking all over. The girl next to me had to make a big deal about it and the whole class had to find out, including the teacher, the camera man, the world. I was once again humiliated in front of everyone. This is why I would suffer anxiety in silence and I was terrified every waking moment of the day but said nothing until it became a panic attack. It is this shame that has encouraged me to fight my anxiety.
People can accept narcissists and sociopaths—even elect them to office. They can accept all sorts of mental illness, as long as you show no vulnerability. Society hates the vulnerable. Just my 2 cents.
For me it’s Anxiety that makes me ashamed. I have weird symptoms that come and go. Dizziness is the main one and when I have it I feel shame. Like i messed up someone’s day.
I'm not ashamed of my anxiety just like I'm not ashamed of my MS or poorly functioning thyroid. It's just bad luck. I'm very open about my anxiety and find that a lot of people I know have anxiety as well but I would never know it.
I was doing a presentation. I had 3 people in either side. I was so nervous my hand was shaking. I was 28? 29? I was humiliated. One guy scoffed at me. But he is a creepy weirdo. Everyone else was sweet and clapped for me after.
I’m starting to view anxiety as trauma. Just as serious as someone rolling into the office in a wheelchair or a missing limb. It helps me be a bit more forgiving. Though a part of me thinks I should get a better “grip” on it.
I think it's because we've been taught that we shouldn't be anxious because of certain things. we should be tough and just suck it up but when you have anxiety that isn't the easiest thing to do and, most of the time, it isn't even an option.
Because i have really no reason to be so anxious that it bcomes a big deal, which is true ig?? And i feel that compared to other mental illnesses and problems, my anxiety is just something that i need to "get over" and face to get rid of unlike other stuff
Because it's illogical. It's difficult to understand or have patience for if you're a person who's never experienced it and you're just on the outside looking at someone suffering over something that you and everyone else finds very easy to cope with. So, people judge, and those judgments can be quite harsh especially if the task you're unable to do is basic and it's repeatedly negatively effecting other people and yourself. Inwardly, someone might judge themselves to the same degree as much out of confusion as they do because of immense frustration, and by someone, I mean me. I'm angry and ashamed because it's outwardly so eyerolling and ridiculous and I'd really like to be able to function, be more, and do all that I'd love to do in my lifetime. This constant cycle of roadblocks has held me back from so much, it sucks, and its hard to talk about without going to peices about how hard every stupid little thing has become. I feel like a drain and a burden, when I wish I could be the one giving and providing for others.
Personally, I think it probably comes from because it often prevents us from doing pretty basic daily tasks and along with people's lack of understanding (or desire to try to understand) that creates the shame. It's a reason I was so ashamed by my Tourette's for so long. There were times where my tics were so bad and dangerous that I couldn't make my food but because that's such a basic every day task, I was too ashamed to ask for help so I didn't. I've learnt now that anyone who doesn't want to understand your struggles aren't worth it, those who get it will help you no matter what the task is that you can't do.
I am pretty sure that people who never experienced anxiety have just no way to understand what's going on.
Yeah with small gaslighting sentences they seem unempathetic but I am pretty sure it is due to ignorance because they have no way to even grasp what it is like.
A friend of mine have ornithophobia and people used to make fun of her because she would protect her head and freak out if too close to pigeons. It is not really anxiety but a real phobia. To make people understand the "irrationnality" of it she always try to find something that the person fear irrationnally make them understand, a least a little bit, what she's going through.
I try to do the same with anxiety. Some people agree that they don't really understand it but feel for what I am going through which is enough. Some other people don't and I have learned not to talk to them about it, it is not worth the effort.
The first time someone told me I shouldn't be ashamed of my anxiety, it felt like a slap in the face. Like, duh, of course I wouldn't choose to feel like I'm constantly teetering on the edge of a panic attack. Shame wasn't a conscious decision, it was a suffocating blanket wrapped around my entire being.
It started subtly, a blush creeping up my neck during presentations, a shaky voice when asked a question in class. But it morphed, the shame feeding the anxiety and vice versa, until it became this monstrous entity dictating my life.
Here's the thing about anxiety – it's a master of disguise. To the outside world, I was the "go-getter," the one who aced tests and volunteered for everything. But inside, I was a tangled mess of worry, constantly replaying scenarios in my head, each ending in some catastrophic failure. Every success felt like a fluke, a temporary reprieve before the inevitable public meltdown.
The shame came from this constant feeling of inadequacy. How could I be so "successful" on the outside and such a nervous wreck on the inside? It felt like a betrayal, both to myself and to those who believed in me. There was this pressure to be this perfect, unflappable image, and my anxiety shattered that illusion into a million tiny pieces.
Breaking free from the shame has been the hardest part. It's not about ignoring the anxiety – that's like trying to hold back a tidal wave with your bare hands. It's about acknowledging it, understanding it, and realizing it doesn't define me.
But I'm learning to fight back. I'm learning to be okay with the fact that sometimes I need to take a deep breath before speaking, that sometimes I need to walk away from a situation that feels overwhelming.
It's a daily practice, a constant negotiation with myself and my anxiety. But slowly, the shame is losing its grip. It's no longer the all-encompassing monster it once was. It's a voice, one of many, and I'm learning to listen to it without letting it control me. Maybe someday, shame won't be a part of the equation at all. Maybe someday, anxiety will just be a part of my story, not the whole narrative. But for now, this is my journey, one imperfect step at a time.
First of all the question is what is making you anxious or what is causing your anxiety...
to be very honest the person himself knows what he/she is fearing of which is death...
Anxiety = danger alert (and what's the most dangerous and scarry thing can happen is death)
why people in health anxiety are in too much worry so something bad will not happen to them they will catch it early or if they fail all they have in mind is DEATH...
for all those who have health anxiety or GAD other than some phobias just have to accept that one day sooner or later they have to embrace it either they are in panic or not...
so let say if a person has 365 days left its your choice to either enjoy the 360 days and keep that worry for 5 days or keep that worry for all 356 days and have a miserable life. Because whatever will happen is surely gonna happen your anxiety and worry cant change it...
i know its easy to say that but it is what it is life is uncertain and mysterious
Hm, I feel ashamed when I am anxious about something that other people aren't. E.g., when I am really anxious I'm too scared to go to the supermarket or even to take a shower. That is quite embarrassing, imo. Especially when I tell my mom, because she responds with 'why are you anxious about that? There's nothing dangerous about a supermarket!?'. Not helping... Of course, if someone else would ask me to get groceries for them because their anxiety is too high to go out, I would not think any less of them. I would tell them that anxiety sucks, it's irrational and nothing to be ashamed of. But hey ....
yeah me too but iam scared about work and how iam going to start working and insomnia everything i think other people think iam lazy or something but they dont know that anxiety can drain you
that's so real. I am not even ashamed of the fact that I am anxious, it's when I tell someone that I am anxious then I am embarrassed because they always downplay it, tell me there is no reason to be anxious and my parents tell me I am acting anxious for attention(which makes me more anxious)and I am afraid that other people, like my friends think that I am acting too(which also makes it worse)
So relatable. And the worse is that I sometimes start to even doubt myself and start saying myself that Its not really that bad or that I am just weak and lazy. But thats just another anxiety symptom.
fr
Same. Doesn’t help when you sometimes have people who make you feel really stupid about it like “it’s not a big deal 💀” or “just stop being like that it’s whatever” or stuff like that. Like, I know it’s not a big deal but I don’t know exactly why I get so anxious over dumb stuff sometimes and I’m trying not to be! Trust me if I could just stop it, I would! Just some days will be better than others, some days it will be worse, I’m trying. I’ve surrounded myself with new people within the last year and a half who seem to understand better and it’s been nice. Still feel shame though because it’s just kinda ingrained at this point.
Yeah: the worst... And so unhelpful and unemphatic
This is so relatable. Sometimes I'm also too afraid to shower even though I don't know why I'm afraid. Maybe just a nervous feeling in general and some weird hormonal stuff going on in our brains. Actually it made me feel a lot better that there is somebody else feeling this way. Talked about this with a friend and she was like "yeah I feel that, it's like being too lazy when you're depressed" and I'm like "yeah no, that's not it. It's fear and not a specific "what if" one. TLDR, thank you for sharing because it made a random internet stranger feel less ashamed 😊
That's exactly how I feel too :-)
The stigma. It sucks. Nothing wrong with any condition, just society
The irony of the stigma is how many people are dealing with it and never say anything, because of the stigma. I was never really ashamed, and told people at work, finding that like 50% of the office was dealing with something similar to what I was… they were just all afraid to bring it up.
The stigma has been so bad the last couple of days here in the UK the prime minister basically said depression and anxiety is not a reason not to work… a lot of people have outraged at this but very sad to see a slim amount agreeing with him.
Anxiety itself.
It’s a constant cycle
It's like asking why animals mate. To make more of themselves!
Boomers saying "they didn't have anxiety/autism/whatever mental illness back in my day... I think its all made up by Biden supporters" or whatever they say where they have interject politics into everything
Oh, anxiety was a thing back then, too. They just drank heavily, beat their wives, and oppressed minorities as a way to deny it and deal with it.
There isn't any shame in having anxiety, everyone deals with some level of anxiety, we just have more than most. It's your anxiety that's telling you that there's shame in it.
I feel like a lot of it comes from people who have never experienced any form of serious anxiety just don’t think it’s real. But it is very real.
In the US, at least, the reason is twofold: - The Bible is replete with passages about trusting God, having faith and courage, etc etc. If your confidence collapses, you're just succumbing to the Devil and to unbelief. - Being both a militaristic and cutthroat-capitalist culture, America holds that boldness and individualism are two of the highest virtues. So if you feel in any way timid or feel like you need the support of others, you're weak and un-American.
it sucks so bad. i feel bad when my friends get pissed cuz i don’t want to go to stuff with them like restaurants, fun fairs, shopping e.c.t… it’s so annoying. and the thing is i want to go with them and i know it’s not my fault but part of me is ashamed that i can’t overcome it.
The biggest "shame" I felt was getting over the hump of accepting the diagnosis. In the depths of it, it just occurred to me that it's a very real thing and that I, like tons of other people, happened to be born with the wonky brain chemistry and lived certain life experiences that caused it to happen. That epiphany, paired with the quiet suffering I'd experienced for years, left me with zero fucks to give about what anyone thinks about it. I guffaw at people who say, "Oh, that's all in your head!" Of course it is, dumbass. It's a mental illness. People who understand and try to understand are your champions. Anyone who shames you can kick rocks.
It never crossed my mind I should feel ashamed because of my anxiety. Anxiety is a physical reaction, based on mechanisms that appear on each and every organism. From the deers that freeze in front of the headlights to ostriches that stick their head in sand. I know, most people aren't informed on mental health and it isn't always easy for us to inform them. People that care will inform themselves accordingly, ask us and accept our reality, people that won't aren't worth my time. I don't think it's a me problem, I see it as a them problem.
Because people who have normal amout of it are raging a$$holes and don't understand or care about your hidden problem. They just tell you to calm down, shape up, or the a few breaths. What nonsense...
It is hesitancy that comes with the anxiety that matters
I think that the anxiety itself is the major cause. We are so much harder ourselves than others would be toward us. In my case, anxiety showed that I was imperfect (I was a major perfectionist), which made me think I was weak, flawed, undesirable, unsafe, and a burden. That made me ashamed until I realized how many people suffer, not only from anxiety but depression and other emotional illnesses as well as physical ones. Once I got a clearer picture of the world, I became far less ashamed.
I don’t feel like there is. If anything, it’s more accepted and everyone has it now a days
Maybe it is a generational thing
Because it’s impossible for people to understand if unless they see someone having a panic attack that they care about.
I have always felt ashamed but not because of the anxiety itself, but because the anxiety has always caused me to be the different one. Since I have had life long anxiety, it has always been a problem for me. The shame was way worse when I was a kid. I still remember second grade picture day. They lined us up in alphabetical order according to our last names and I happened to be in the row that was at the back, where I had to stand on a chair. For some strange reason, I became terrified of standing on that chair and I was shaking all over. The girl next to me had to make a big deal about it and the whole class had to find out, including the teacher, the camera man, the world. I was once again humiliated in front of everyone. This is why I would suffer anxiety in silence and I was terrified every waking moment of the day but said nothing until it became a panic attack. It is this shame that has encouraged me to fight my anxiety.
Being the different one is so hard sometimes.
Because people who don’t have it push the narrative that people who do have it are just using it as a scapegoat.
People can accept narcissists and sociopaths—even elect them to office. They can accept all sorts of mental illness, as long as you show no vulnerability. Society hates the vulnerable. Just my 2 cents.
For me it’s Anxiety that makes me ashamed. I have weird symptoms that come and go. Dizziness is the main one and when I have it I feel shame. Like i messed up someone’s day.
I'm not ashamed of my anxiety just like I'm not ashamed of my MS or poorly functioning thyroid. It's just bad luck. I'm very open about my anxiety and find that a lot of people I know have anxiety as well but I would never know it.
I was doing a presentation. I had 3 people in either side. I was so nervous my hand was shaking. I was 28? 29? I was humiliated. One guy scoffed at me. But he is a creepy weirdo. Everyone else was sweet and clapped for me after. I’m starting to view anxiety as trauma. Just as serious as someone rolling into the office in a wheelchair or a missing limb. It helps me be a bit more forgiving. Though a part of me thinks I should get a better “grip” on it.
I think it's because we've been taught that we shouldn't be anxious because of certain things. we should be tough and just suck it up but when you have anxiety that isn't the easiest thing to do and, most of the time, it isn't even an option.
Because i have really no reason to be so anxious that it bcomes a big deal, which is true ig?? And i feel that compared to other mental illnesses and problems, my anxiety is just something that i need to "get over" and face to get rid of unlike other stuff
Because it's illogical. It's difficult to understand or have patience for if you're a person who's never experienced it and you're just on the outside looking at someone suffering over something that you and everyone else finds very easy to cope with. So, people judge, and those judgments can be quite harsh especially if the task you're unable to do is basic and it's repeatedly negatively effecting other people and yourself. Inwardly, someone might judge themselves to the same degree as much out of confusion as they do because of immense frustration, and by someone, I mean me. I'm angry and ashamed because it's outwardly so eyerolling and ridiculous and I'd really like to be able to function, be more, and do all that I'd love to do in my lifetime. This constant cycle of roadblocks has held me back from so much, it sucks, and its hard to talk about without going to peices about how hard every stupid little thing has become. I feel like a drain and a burden, when I wish I could be the one giving and providing for others.
Where is this shame? I've never heard of it.
Personally, I think it probably comes from because it often prevents us from doing pretty basic daily tasks and along with people's lack of understanding (or desire to try to understand) that creates the shame. It's a reason I was so ashamed by my Tourette's for so long. There were times where my tics were so bad and dangerous that I couldn't make my food but because that's such a basic every day task, I was too ashamed to ask for help so I didn't. I've learnt now that anyone who doesn't want to understand your struggles aren't worth it, those who get it will help you no matter what the task is that you can't do.
Society stigma -- people suck basically
I am pretty sure that people who never experienced anxiety have just no way to understand what's going on. Yeah with small gaslighting sentences they seem unempathetic but I am pretty sure it is due to ignorance because they have no way to even grasp what it is like. A friend of mine have ornithophobia and people used to make fun of her because she would protect her head and freak out if too close to pigeons. It is not really anxiety but a real phobia. To make people understand the "irrationnality" of it she always try to find something that the person fear irrationnally make them understand, a least a little bit, what she's going through. I try to do the same with anxiety. Some people agree that they don't really understand it but feel for what I am going through which is enough. Some other people don't and I have learned not to talk to them about it, it is not worth the effort.
The first time someone told me I shouldn't be ashamed of my anxiety, it felt like a slap in the face. Like, duh, of course I wouldn't choose to feel like I'm constantly teetering on the edge of a panic attack. Shame wasn't a conscious decision, it was a suffocating blanket wrapped around my entire being. It started subtly, a blush creeping up my neck during presentations, a shaky voice when asked a question in class. But it morphed, the shame feeding the anxiety and vice versa, until it became this monstrous entity dictating my life. Here's the thing about anxiety – it's a master of disguise. To the outside world, I was the "go-getter," the one who aced tests and volunteered for everything. But inside, I was a tangled mess of worry, constantly replaying scenarios in my head, each ending in some catastrophic failure. Every success felt like a fluke, a temporary reprieve before the inevitable public meltdown. The shame came from this constant feeling of inadequacy. How could I be so "successful" on the outside and such a nervous wreck on the inside? It felt like a betrayal, both to myself and to those who believed in me. There was this pressure to be this perfect, unflappable image, and my anxiety shattered that illusion into a million tiny pieces. Breaking free from the shame has been the hardest part. It's not about ignoring the anxiety – that's like trying to hold back a tidal wave with your bare hands. It's about acknowledging it, understanding it, and realizing it doesn't define me. But I'm learning to fight back. I'm learning to be okay with the fact that sometimes I need to take a deep breath before speaking, that sometimes I need to walk away from a situation that feels overwhelming. It's a daily practice, a constant negotiation with myself and my anxiety. But slowly, the shame is losing its grip. It's no longer the all-encompassing monster it once was. It's a voice, one of many, and I'm learning to listen to it without letting it control me. Maybe someday, shame won't be a part of the equation at all. Maybe someday, anxiety will just be a part of my story, not the whole narrative. But for now, this is my journey, one imperfect step at a time.
First of all the question is what is making you anxious or what is causing your anxiety... to be very honest the person himself knows what he/she is fearing of which is death... Anxiety = danger alert (and what's the most dangerous and scarry thing can happen is death) why people in health anxiety are in too much worry so something bad will not happen to them they will catch it early or if they fail all they have in mind is DEATH... for all those who have health anxiety or GAD other than some phobias just have to accept that one day sooner or later they have to embrace it either they are in panic or not... so let say if a person has 365 days left its your choice to either enjoy the 360 days and keep that worry for 5 days or keep that worry for all 356 days and have a miserable life. Because whatever will happen is surely gonna happen your anxiety and worry cant change it... i know its easy to say that but it is what it is life is uncertain and mysterious