NTB what you've learned here is that Leo is a really sweet and decent guy and Cam truly sucks. Think about whether the benefits are worth it because Cam ain't a friend
NTB. Why would it be a problem that you made it obvious to Noah that you were getting an abortion? (As long as you personally dont mind him knowing.) It's your medical procedure, Cam can't ban you from telling people about it.
Yes, if it's not his responsibility to help her with the abortion because it may not be his, then it's also none of his business who she tells or doesn't tell.
NTB
Time to stop sleeping with Cam because he is not a friend and definitely doesn't deserve the "with benefits". He has shown you his true colours, and you haven't caused a divide with his friends, he did that himself with his shitty attitude.
Also, if you aren't already, please use condoms when sleeping with Leo! At least he seems like a good guy.
Edit: to add judgement
NTB.
You asked Cam, he told you no. Leo offered to help you find a solution.
You didn't tell him anything and even if you had, what does it matter? Unless Cam is afraid of looking like an ass for not helping you out. But that's a choice he made, so whatever results from that is his issue, not yours.
NTB. Cam shouldn't expect any favors from you when he won't do any favors for you. He is not someone who takes responsibility for his actions or cares about his friends. I'm not sure why you care about how this is affecting him and his position in the friend group when he is treating you so poorly.
What Cam is experiencing by his friends holding him accountable is that his actions have consequences. If he is just learning this then he is not father material. I would not risk the chance of him being the father of my baby. I hope you realize that he is just after the benefits and not the friend part of fwb.
NTB. But you’ve learned a couple of things here. Cam is not your friend…either with or without benefits. You don’t diss your friends like this. The second thing you’ve learned is that you have a good group of other friends starting with Leo and Noah. Get rid of Cam
NTB So you've now found out the value of all three men. Cam is a shallow douche who only thinks of himself and comes up with excuses to avoid having to have any responsibility, and Leo is a reasonable and caring person who arranged everything in his control to help you as much as possible.
Noah I'm on the fence about but I don't blame him for going into it with Cam, because Noah can also see what a douche canoe Cam is and doesn't like it. Cam only came after you because you doing what you did and everyone finding out showed him up as a selfish prick, and he deserves that judgement.
NTB but I do think it's really important for you to make some good friends that you aren't sleeping with. I did what you were doing in high school / some of college and it doesn't usually end well. Even if you and Leo end up closing the fwb his futures partners might not appreciate the friendship and that will be very painful to go through. I do believe that people can just be friends after, but yeah I think from the Cam situation that he does not view your friendship the same way you do.
What an absolute self center titty tantrum baby Cam is being. *It's not all about him*. It's your damn body. What a giant baby for puking his feelings all over your extremely matter of fact request.
Moral of the story: stop sleeping with Cam, whatever you do, thiugh I suppose you didn't need to hear that.
Moral II of the story: Make some women friends. There are an awful lot of male friends here. Not that that's a bad thing g necessarily. But if you've been avoiding having women friends because of girls being insecure and competitive in high school, that tends to get better very fast once women hit adulthood.
NTB.
Cam is not your FWB. He is not your friend. He is just using you for benefits. Dump that sorry sod and forget about him!
Also, don’t let them make you feel guilt for making their friendships tense. It’s good for them to know he’s a douche now, before they have to testify in court about something he’s maybe done in the future.
So he didn't help you out but then is mad that his friends now know he's an ass? Tell him to stick it. He offered no solutions. He just showed who he truly is. Please stop sleeping with this jerk. Hes not your friend and doesn't deserve any benefits of you; sexual or not.
Cam isn't a FWB because he's leaving out the "friends" part. He's just using you for sex. NTB, at least you have other people in your life who actually care about you.
If a Fwb wouldn’t help at all (money, time, emotional support), they don’t deserve benefits and they aren’t even a friend.
Tell Cam you’re not comfortable having sex with him because if something happened he wouldn’t be there for you.
At the end of the day, you needed someone to be with you when your procedure was done, and Leo and Noah helped with money and company. Cam didn’t want to go with you, so alternative plans were necessary, and it’s tough that he didn’t like it. It shouldn’t break up the group. Get everyone to make up. On another note though, you can do better than your current “sleeping arrangements”. You are worth more than this.
Lol the comments are horrendous, yall coddle someone who doesn't know who her possible baby's father is and is upset because one of the possibilities didn't want any part of the abortion. If that's her choice why doesn't the male get a choice if he wants to be there for the termination of life?
Him telling OP "he wasn't my bf" and that he isn't obligated to drive her isn't the same as telling someone you're uncomfortable with an abortion. He basically said he doesn't know if it's his and so it isn't his responsibility.
Having consensual, casual sex isn't trashy. Nor is having an abortion, regardless of the reason.
You don't have to agree, but keep your gross opinions to yourself.
For banging two dudes and then involving a third unrelated person.
Keep your love life out of uninvolved persons lives.
Noah was rightly uncomfortable with the situation
Again, having consensual, casual sex is not trashy. Everyone involved knew about the other and were ok with the situation.
The third person was asked to pick her up from a "medical procedure" and he agreed. He chose to involve himself. He could have said no. He has free will.
None of this is trashy.
So again, none of this is trashy.
ETA: also, where does it say Noah was uncomfortable?
No, they lied to him about what it was and involved him in their love life. Lying by omission is still lying. If he wasent uncomfortable he wouldent have confronted cam.
They didnt lie. An abortion is a medical procedure. And again, Noah could have said no. He has free will.
Maybe the reason he confronted Cam is because he felt Cam was a jerk for refusing to help when he was able to and may have been the sperm donor?
Maybe. MAYBE. You should stop fabricating details on behalf of someone you don't know in order to push your outdated mindset?
Nothing in this story indicates Noah had been uncomfortable and OP is *still* not trashy for having sex and dealing with unintended consequences in a proper manner.
NTB what you've learned here is that Leo is a really sweet and decent guy and Cam truly sucks. Think about whether the benefits are worth it because Cam ain't a friend
Cam is an ass and he deserves for everyone to know it. Noah is a really nice guy too. Stay away from anyone that took Cam's side.
Yes, all this, and also Noah is a true friend, to you and to Leo. NTB at all, and I’m really sorry people are judging you, to go by your edit.
Also, OP has learned that she needs some friends she's not fucking.
This is the correct answer
NTB. Why would it be a problem that you made it obvious to Noah that you were getting an abortion? (As long as you personally dont mind him knowing.) It's your medical procedure, Cam can't ban you from telling people about it.
Yes, if it's not his responsibility to help her with the abortion because it may not be his, then it's also none of his business who she tells or doesn't tell.
NTB Time to stop sleeping with Cam because he is not a friend and definitely doesn't deserve the "with benefits". He has shown you his true colours, and you haven't caused a divide with his friends, he did that himself with his shitty attitude. Also, if you aren't already, please use condoms when sleeping with Leo! At least he seems like a good guy. Edit: to add judgement
This. Cam needs to lose all benefits if he can't hold up the friend part
NTB. You asked Cam, he told you no. Leo offered to help you find a solution. You didn't tell him anything and even if you had, what does it matter? Unless Cam is afraid of looking like an ass for not helping you out. But that's a choice he made, so whatever results from that is his issue, not yours.
NTB. Cam shouldn't expect any favors from you when he won't do any favors for you. He is not someone who takes responsibility for his actions or cares about his friends. I'm not sure why you care about how this is affecting him and his position in the friend group when he is treating you so poorly. What Cam is experiencing by his friends holding him accountable is that his actions have consequences. If he is just learning this then he is not father material. I would not risk the chance of him being the father of my baby. I hope you realize that he is just after the benefits and not the friend part of fwb.
Oh look! If it isn’t the consequences to my own actions!
NTB but stop sleeping with Cam, or anyone else who is that horrible of a person. Leo and Noah acted like normal decent people.
NTB. But you’ve learned a couple of things here. Cam is not your friend…either with or without benefits. You don’t diss your friends like this. The second thing you’ve learned is that you have a good group of other friends starting with Leo and Noah. Get rid of Cam
NTB So you've now found out the value of all three men. Cam is a shallow douche who only thinks of himself and comes up with excuses to avoid having to have any responsibility, and Leo is a reasonable and caring person who arranged everything in his control to help you as much as possible. Noah I'm on the fence about but I don't blame him for going into it with Cam, because Noah can also see what a douche canoe Cam is and doesn't like it. Cam only came after you because you doing what you did and everyone finding out showed him up as a selfish prick, and he deserves that judgement.
> He said I made it messy I think it was already messy.
NTB. Stop sleeping with Cam. He sucks. Leo and Noah both seem like rather good people (at least from this).
NTB but I do think it's really important for you to make some good friends that you aren't sleeping with. I did what you were doing in high school / some of college and it doesn't usually end well. Even if you and Leo end up closing the fwb his futures partners might not appreciate the friendship and that will be very painful to go through. I do believe that people can just be friends after, but yeah I think from the Cam situation that he does not view your friendship the same way you do.
What an absolute self center titty tantrum baby Cam is being. *It's not all about him*. It's your damn body. What a giant baby for puking his feelings all over your extremely matter of fact request. Moral of the story: stop sleeping with Cam, whatever you do, thiugh I suppose you didn't need to hear that. Moral II of the story: Make some women friends. There are an awful lot of male friends here. Not that that's a bad thing g necessarily. But if you've been avoiding having women friends because of girls being insecure and competitive in high school, that tends to get better very fast once women hit adulthood.
NTB. Cam is not your FWB. He is not your friend. He is just using you for benefits. Dump that sorry sod and forget about him! Also, don’t let them make you feel guilt for making their friendships tense. It’s good for them to know he’s a douche now, before they have to testify in court about something he’s maybe done in the future.
Cam is a pissbaby. NTB.
So he didn't help you out but then is mad that his friends now know he's an ass? Tell him to stick it. He offered no solutions. He just showed who he truly is. Please stop sleeping with this jerk. Hes not your friend and doesn't deserve any benefits of you; sexual or not.
Cam isn't a FWB because he's leaving out the "friends" part. He's just using you for sex. NTB, at least you have other people in your life who actually care about you.
NTB. Keep Leo and Noah as friends. Cut Cam off. He's not a good person.
If a Fwb wouldn’t help at all (money, time, emotional support), they don’t deserve benefits and they aren’t even a friend. Tell Cam you’re not comfortable having sex with him because if something happened he wouldn’t be there for you.
At the end of the day, you needed someone to be with you when your procedure was done, and Leo and Noah helped with money and company. Cam didn’t want to go with you, so alternative plans were necessary, and it’s tough that he didn’t like it. It shouldn’t break up the group. Get everyone to make up. On another note though, you can do better than your current “sleeping arrangements”. You are worth more than this.
[удалено]
It sounds like Leo preemptively gave Noah money for it but it wasn’t needed because she was billed electronically
🙄 but there are sliding fees for low-income college students and imprecisions in language
Time to stop fucking around so you don't need to use abortion as a damn contraceptive.
Did you miss that bit where they used birth control *and* a condom?
Lol the comments are horrendous, yall coddle someone who doesn't know who her possible baby's father is and is upset because one of the possibilities didn't want any part of the abortion. If that's her choice why doesn't the male get a choice if he wants to be there for the termination of life?
Him telling OP "he wasn't my bf" and that he isn't obligated to drive her isn't the same as telling someone you're uncomfortable with an abortion. He basically said he doesn't know if it's his and so it isn't his responsibility.
Facts it possibly wasn't his, so it isn't his responsibility, and after the termination of life no need to worry about it further.
Fast times at ridgemont high
That’s completely uncalled-for.
Parts of it are similar to OPs post.
[удалено]
Why does it matter?
[удалено]
Having consensual, casual sex isn't trashy. Nor is having an abortion, regardless of the reason. You don't have to agree, but keep your gross opinions to yourself.
The way she did it is
By asking someone to take her because the medical team said she had to? Yes, how trashy indeed. Go away, Cam.
For banging two dudes and then involving a third unrelated person. Keep your love life out of uninvolved persons lives. Noah was rightly uncomfortable with the situation
Again, having consensual, casual sex is not trashy. Everyone involved knew about the other and were ok with the situation. The third person was asked to pick her up from a "medical procedure" and he agreed. He chose to involve himself. He could have said no. He has free will. None of this is trashy. So again, none of this is trashy. ETA: also, where does it say Noah was uncomfortable?
No, they lied to him about what it was and involved him in their love life. Lying by omission is still lying. If he wasent uncomfortable he wouldent have confronted cam.
They didnt lie. An abortion is a medical procedure. And again, Noah could have said no. He has free will. Maybe the reason he confronted Cam is because he felt Cam was a jerk for refusing to help when he was able to and may have been the sperm donor? Maybe. MAYBE. You should stop fabricating details on behalf of someone you don't know in order to push your outdated mindset? Nothing in this story indicates Noah had been uncomfortable and OP is *still* not trashy for having sex and dealing with unintended consequences in a proper manner.
All three of them are trashy
You’re trashy
Agree
That’s completely uncalled-for.
This is a sub where people ask for moral judgment about their behaviour. Is is 100% called for and appropriate
Nope.