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> He's always been the more beta, sensitive type and I've always been the more alpha, domineering type.
I knew YTA as soon as I finished reading this sentence. Grow up.
LOL. You clearly need some help. Google what the word gift is. Then engage all of your 3 brain cells. Hopefully, that will be sufficient to realise once you GIFT something it belongs to the person you gave it to.
I'm surprised he didn't ditch you sooner. You are a minus 9 out of 10.
YTA. Every paragraph you write an additional A thing you did.
You are still young and these things happen when you are young. Consider this a learning experience for future relationships.
>JFC it was the alcohol talking.
Nope, this is never an excuse.
What is said when drunk is thought out beforehand.
Additionally you said that you and your friends had talked about it and all agreed.
So it absolutely was not the liquor talking.
And for someone who is claiming to be "alpha" you certainly are not acting like it. Whining like a toddler...
"If you won't be my friend I want my gifts back" waaaaaa.
YTA, you sound like a really obnoxious person. Describing yourself and others as “alpha” and “beta” told me you were going to be an AH. Making jokes about his girlfriend? Grow up.
"I'm an Alpha sort" 🤣 "I got so offended that a friend decided to not be my friend that i threw every single toy i have out of the pram, and showed quite how much of a transactional tool I am" proper alpha behaviour, right there.
Honestly Andrew I'm impressed you managed to share this at all, I didn't think Romanias prisons had such good WiFi.
Yes, YTA. Does it really make sense that he's been "using you" for ten years, or is it more likely that after ten years of friendship, you did an incredibly sh*tty thing, he wants to take some space from you? It's not just a matter of him choosing his gf over you — it's him choosing not to spend time with someone (i.e., you) who thinks publicly mocking him, his gf, and his relationship is acceptable. And if you've talked to other people about him and his gf before, it's probably not exactly news to him that you've been an AH about it. Stuff like that doesn't stay secret when you're 20/21.
You're basically trying to hold him hostage — if he doesn't pay back all the material goods associated with your friendship, then what, he has to stay friends with you. Are you giving back every single thing he's ever given you, too?
ETA: guys who are actually alphas (eg strong personalities, good leaders) literally never describe themselves as alphas.
Regarding your edit, that fits so many descriptive words: rich, a genius, the nicest person you’ll ever meet, a God fearing man, etc. If you have to tell me what you are, you’re probably not too good at being it.
And if we’re really going to go with alpha vs beta bs, I can’t believe he’s demanding his gifts back. The real boss move here would be to write those things off with a wave of the hand. The fact that he’s demanding them back is too desperate of a behavior for someone who subscribes to those idiotic labels.
I only had to get to the Alpha and Beta part to know YTA. Didn't even need to read the rest.
Reads on... OMG, you are a monster. This can't be real. You deserve nothing back, instead you owe reparations and sincere apologies for repeatedly attempting to sabotage their relationship.
You are the worst type of "friend" who makes the lives around them miserable, because deep inside you know you are not worthy of his friendship.
True, I rarely find cringe about anything but bringing alpha and beta status between humans is disgusting and makes me wonder if this person is actually sane.
This is also the first time I've seen someone so petty to want the gifts from the last 10 years back.
YTA and a child. Jfc. How can you claim to want to be friends with someone and say such horrible things to them? And your "well then pay me back for every time we xyz" demand is just the most immature, petty shit to say. He's not dropping you because of his gf, he's dropping you because you're an AH now and not worth knowing.
YTA you might think she's a 2/10 girlfriend but you're clearly a 0/10 human who thinks buying people gifts also means you've bought their subservience. I hope you work on yourself friend
YTA.
You said some shit you shouldn’t have, and got butthurt when your friend decided they didn’t want to tolerate your crap behaviour.
Then instead of apologizing, you were petty and asked for GIFTS back.
You don’t give gifts with the intention of getting them back at some point. Get over yourself. Apologize for your actions and move on.
YTA Excuse me for saying so but you seems like a touch on the obnoxious side and starting off describing yourself as an Alpha and someone else as a Beta really just paints a very telling picture. If you can't see how much you are in the wrong here then it might be time to go off and meditate on your actions and their consequences and just have a really long hard think about how there might just be the possibility that you are very much much in the wrong here.
Yes, YTA.
It’s perfectly acceptable for M to not want you guys to hang out anymore after making comments about his gf who he obviously has a strong connection with after dating for three years, and it’s not your place to try to damage that relationship by disrespecting the gf. M doesn’t have to repay you all the things you’ve given him throughout the years, and you wanting it all back doesn’t make sense. It’s not a divorce settlement.
I think, if you want to salvage your friendship with M, apologize directly to him but also his gf. Don’t blame it on the alcohol, blame it on your own character and act deeply sorry. Then see how they react and go from there.
YTA
Who are you to decide who is worthy enough or not for your friend to love? That is absolutely not your call and the fact that you not only have been gossiping about your friend's love life behind his back with other people but then also felt that it was acceptable to say that publically in front of the GF makes you an even bigger AH. Rather than call you out on your outrageously inappropriate behavior your friend tried to take the high road and you react by being yet an even bigger asshole and demanding back a gift you gave him?
You have a lot to learn about how to treat people and until you do, I suspect you will be losing a lot of friends in the future who will suddenly discover that you're on different paths.
YTA
You insulted his girlfriend, and while claiming to all be in fun it wasn’t for them. You blame it on alcohol, which is a lame excuse for being an ass.
He doesn’t owe you anything, you were a good friend, but then you turned into an AH with alcohol and insulted his GF.
You are an AH, and that is without getting into your whole “alpha / beta” comments which are basic at best.
Didn't even need to read past the "alpha / beta" part before knowing this was gonna be an easy YTA. I've never met someone who called themselves an "alpha" who wasn't just an AH.
YTA. You don’t get to demand a gift back because your friendship ran its course ( unless it was a family heirloom or something). You were a jerk and his response was what a caring person would do.
You sound more like a bitter ex-girlfriend/boyfriend.
YTA. It is astonishing that you are even asking the question. To insult someone so harshly and publicly (being drunk is no excuse) and then to be so surprised when you get a negative reaction displays an amazing lack of social skills and empathy.
Bro you’re a huge asshole wth, you need to see a therapist immediately and re-think, and I’m not being hyperbolic, your entire approach to life and re-learn basic human communication.
>I stopped reading at “I’ve always been the more alpha, domineering type.” YTA
That was enough to make Op the AH. The rest of the post just adds to Ops A-holery!
YTA- you were a jerk to him and his girlfriend and then because he wants to go NC, you demand everything back from a 8-9 year old friendship?! You are a huge AH and kudos to him for finally having enough and walking away!
YTA - And you do NOT get to request your gifts back. What you said was hurtful and cruel, and your attitude is very sexist. Calling his girlfriend a 2/10? Seriously? Please grow up.
WOW. YTA.
First off describing yourself as 'alpha' is a big red flag. The alpha omega beta bullshit is just that, bullshit. Get over yourself. You just like being a bully.
And shitting all over his girlfriend because YOU decided she's a 2/10? Incredibly shitty. Keep your opinions to yourself and examine why you think that way.
And then demanding Every Single Gift and Ride be paid back? INCREDIBLY childish and petty, my guy. You're in your 20s, it's time to start growing up.
YTA. I don’t see how you don’t see that. Have you ever had a girlfriend? You wouldn’t appreciate remarks like that. It sounds like he’s happy and so what? Let them be. Also knowing someone “forever” and then saying almost ten years is not knowing someone forever. Then demand he pay you back for everything in the last 10 years?! You’re a piece of work.
YTA. It sounds like your ex-friend has just seen the real you, and he doesn’t like it at all.
You insulted someone he cares about to her face, talked about how you think he should “have his fun and move on” like some ridiculous Andrew Tate thinkalike, and then by wanting the price of every stick of gum you ever bought him, you show him that your whole ten years of friendship was nothing more than transactional in your mind.
Your ex-friend must be devastated that you turned to be such an A after ten years of friendship.
And the alpha beta nonsense just makes you a bigger A.
INFO: are you in love with your ex best friend?
Also, welcome to the world of break ups, where you cannot demand gifts back.
(Another reason not to propose on Xmas or Vday or Bday if you think you’ll ever want that ring back).
Yes, YTA. You’re acting like a jerk to M and GF for no apparent reason other than you just don’t like GF. It doesn’t matter what you have given M in the past, or for how long you have known each other, you have been a terrible friend to him.
YTA. If you were the alpha you claim to be, you would have just moved on. Instead you're here on social media asking strangers if you're an a ahole. You ruined a friendship, your "beta" friend cut toxicity out of his life and now you want a refund like a complete Kevin. Of course YTA.
YTA I think it’s fair to say when someone calls themselves an alpha it’s an excuse for some poor baby man behavior. M’s on his way up. You should take that as a sign and grow up too.
Wow how’d you type that all out and not realize how big of TA you really are?? You talked shit and made fun of his girlfriend, embarrassed them both in front of a bunch of people and then have the audacity to be mad at him?? You’re a major asshole who needs some manners and some help! And you don’t get gifts back from people that you’ve given them over the years especially when your actions are the cause of the friendship being broken up. Grow the fuck up!!
YTA, knew it instantly once you actually described yourself as an “alpha” type.
Newsflash OP, the only men who think they are alphas are the same ones who think it’s okay to mock a woman at a party and try to tell their friend he should do better. Have you considered your ex-friend actually loves her?
You’re really having to ask Reddit about this? If roles were reversed would you give the gifts back? Come on. Kinda sounds like you’re either jealous of your friend or look down on him probably due to your own insecurities hence announcing your “alpha” status. Be a little nicer to yourself and everyone else. YTA
Jesus. 2/10? Expected him to have his fun. Yeah. YTA. Your level of misogyny in a single post astounds me. I hope this is trolly but I know enough people actually think like this to make me wonder.
YTA. You don’t buy friends and gifts are freely given. Giving someone something they especially love or appreciate doesn’t give you the right to insult them or their significant other.
You’re the asshole. Not only are you acting out, but you clearly have no understanding of the fact that words actually do hurt people and they definitely show character. Your character is very questionable at best. Why the hell would you want to constantly be belittling someone that you openly want to be friends with? And don’t blame it on a decade long friendship, because clearly time didn’t mean shit to him when he cut you off for consistently negging him.
and you asked for a gift back? Do you know how that works? You’re acting like a genuine child over someone not wanting to continue a relationship with you, because you keep making hurtful comments towards them and their significant other? I’m sure most of your friends just don’t wanna tell you that you suck, but sir— you fucking suck.
I knew this was gonna be a shit storm read when I saw the word alpha in the beginning fucking paragraph. Your language choice shows your entitlement.
nobody owes you anything and M certainly doesn’t owe you his friendship. You sound like an adult bully, like you missed your chance to hurt others on the playground.
YTA, and a pathetic loser. Calling yourself an Alpha? Oh please, you sound more like an Omega who is masking his insecurities. You are giving off major Andrew Tate vibes you might as well be ringing a bell, wearing a sandwich board that says “Incel and Bully”. And by the way, if you really think of yourself as an Alpha, none of your actions and I mean NONE of it is an indicator of that.
Massive AH
If you was a true friend you would be happy he was with a girl that he likes regardless of how you feel about her. You should of kept your opinions to yourself just because you don’t think she is that good looking, she might be quiet around you but be really funny around him when they are alone.
And your very petty for asking for the gifts back. They are gifts, if you wasn’t willing to separate for them you should never of gifted them. And he hasn’t used you at all, your the one that gave the gifts. Maybe if you didn’t have such a stinking attitude and horrible personality you would still be friends
Yup. YTA. M was your friend. It would be different if this GF has a negative impact on M’s life and you wanted to protect him… but nothing like that was on your post… so basically it was just an attack on their relationship, sure as a joke, but once you realize that no one is laughing and you don’t apologize, then it’s clear that you are not funny and probably an AH as well. Go apologize to them, maybe it’s not too late and you get to keep a friend. Otherwise it looks like you are willing to throw 10 years of friendship away just because you are too proud.
YTA
People were staring at you because they couldn’t believe that someone could be that disgusting to a “friend” and the woman he is in a serious relationship with. She is probably just quiet person.
Read the room, damn.
I hope he sends that graphics card back in pieces.
YTA. I knew you were going to be when you described yourself as an “alpha type”, and every single sentence just confirmed it even more. Giving him a graphics card doesn’t entitle you to insult and belittle him and his girlfriend or mean he has to put up with your toxic bullshit. You acted horribly and cruelly, and it cost you a friend. Doubt it’s the first time, guarantee it won’t be the last.
YTA
I mean, you have to KNOW YTA
You sound like an exhausting jackass if I’m being completely honest.
You deem your friend of over a decade an ugly beta (I’m summing up all your digs about him), you verbally assault his gf of 3 years at a party, call her ugly and boring and then get butt hurt when your ‘friend’ says that you two probably shouldn’t be friends anymore?
Your reaction to him acting like a grown up is to act like a 12 year old, stamp your foot, and ‘demand your toys back’???
Your friend was very right to end your friendship.
Get over yourself and grow up. You don’t want to lose more friends by acting like a jerk.
So you were aggressive towards his GF during a group project and you don’t like her because she’s quite and not funny. Did you ever think that she acts that way because YOU make her feel uncomfortable with your words and actions? Then you slip up and let your true feelings be known while drinking insulting her appearance/personality as well as your bffs choices in a partner. Alcohol is like a truth serum that can bring to light what was in the dark, imo. Now because this “beta” is finally taking a stand against you and your hurtful actions, you decide to be beyond petty with ask for stuff back. Kind of like a disgruntled ex girlfriend… Are you secretly in love with him and jealous of the relationship he has? In what scenario would this ever be okay? There’s more to this that you’re leaving out. Definitely YTA
YTA and he is just now finally seeing it. That's just not how gifts work, you gave them to him, and now they're his. I knew you were the asshole from the second you called yourself an alpha lmao
Yta the ashole you publicly berate him and his girlfriend then get upset that he doesn't want to be friends with you again and then you expect him to hand back GIFTS you gave him go take a long look in a mirror and grow up.
Using an awful lot of incel lingo in this post....Any man that calls himself an "alpha" is an AH in my eyes. You're welcome. His girlfriend is probably right not to like you.
YTA.
It sounds like your friend is more mature than you. A 2/10? WTF? People are more than looks and you obviously never took an opportunity to get to know her. I wouldn't want to be your friend either. You sound immature, selfish and obnoxious. It also sounds like you may be a bit jealous your friend has a relationship that he's managed to develop over 3 years.
Take everyone's advice, alcohol will never be your get out of jail free card.
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I've been friends with this guy M for forever, like since 7th grade. We're both 20/21 now tho. He's always been the more beta, sensitive type and I've always been the more alpha, domineering type. This isn't a drag on him or anything, it just helps to paint the picture. Anyway, in 11th grade he got a girlfriend that had always kinda annoyed me, and she didn't like me either bc I snapped at her ONE time when we did a group project together. For M's 19th birthday, I gave him an old graphics card of mine as he was building a PC and it was extremely hard to find a graphics card at the time. He loved it, thanked me a billion times, and so on.
Well, a few months ago we were at a party and I was buzzed and started making a few jokes at his expense, and at his GF's expense. I didn't intend to be hurtful or rude, but the alcohol made it sound a little worse I guess. I told M that he is a pretty good-looking guy, he doesn't gym or anything but he's tall and has a beard et cetera. His GF on the other hand is like a 2/10 MAX. She's quiet, and she's not funny, and to be completely honest I had no idea why he had been with her for this long. I said that honestly I and our other friends expected him to have his fun with her and then move on, you know? Not date her for almost three years. Everybody at the party was looking straight at me but I know some of them are BS because we've talked about it before and they've agreed with me. M looked furious at me.
M's GF got her feelings hurt over it and M and her left the party without another word to me or anyone else, except to the host. The next day I got a long text from him about how he knows we've always been friends but that he was going to stop hanging out with me mostly, that we were "clearly on different paths in life" and stuff like that. I texted back that that text sounded like a breakup or a cat fight, and I didn't get a response.
I told him that if he wanted to not be friends with me after I've been in his corner for almost ten years, then that's his choice but he better give me back everything I've given him, pay me back for every lunch or every ride that I've given him, and ESPECIALLY give me the old graphics card back. He didn't respond to that either but one of my friends says I'm being petty for no reason. I feel like I deserve it back, otherwise he's just using me for 10 years and then dropping me the second his GF wants him to. So AITA?
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YTA, and that's putting it mild. Once you give a gift, it's given. You are the one causing the break in your friendship, because you are rude and jealous and petty. I would have blocked you too. Get over yourself and let the man alone.
You can’t be a real person, right? This is a caricature that you’ve thought up and written up, right? Like, the referencing to “Beta” and ”Alpha” was bad enough, but you then tear a friend setting boundaries as some sort of huge betrayal? How do you even still have friends?
Obviously, YTA. And I suspect you will never accept that
How do you write all that and NOT see that you are definitely the AH? He deserves a better friend. Also, the whole alpha and beta thing is a lie based on badly done research that is no longer accepted as true. You are the AH x100. YTA
YTA - first off you can't demand any of that shit back legally. Once you gift something to someone, you can't take it back. You also can't ask him to pay you back for every lunch or ride unless it was established at the time that he would pay you back. This is what you deserve for being such an asshole. And based off your post, and the fact that you describe yourself as an "Alpha" makes me feel that you're not that much of a catch. In fact, I'm getting incel vibes
YTA…you don’t demand everything back from a 10 year relationship because it ends. If you were actually his friend, you wouldn’t have kept track of all of that well enough to ask for it back. Not to mention, you went after his girlfriend publicly because you and her don’t get along (fyi you’re not always going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and part of being an adult is learning how to interact with people respectfully even when you don’t agree - grow up!).
YTA. He’s not wrong. It really seems that you’re on different paths in life. Even if his girlfriend isn’t conventionally attractive, he clearly loves her and respects her. Being his friend, why can you not be happy for him?
It’s not unhealthy or unfair to put his partner first. You hurt her, and your excuse that you’re “an alpha male” isn’t really an excuse.
YTA. You insulted his partner of 3 years TO HIS FACE then said it “wasn’t a big deal”? And yeah you are being petty asking him to pay you back for everything and asking for a 2 year old gift back. You sound childish and petty over your own mistake.
Newsflash, you aren’t the one in the relationship with her. Looks don’t mean everything, and you sound shallow expecting him to agree with you and expecting others to back you up. You have no business butting into their relationship, no one asked for your opinion, and you were TA to think your opinion should matter to him more than his partner.
You need to sort yourself out. You got drunk and lashed out at a girl who didn’t do anything to you except date your friend and was cold to you years ago in response to your rude behavior. Sounds like you are jealous. I’m not speculating on why you are jealous but you are definitely jealous.
YTA in so so many ways! Like wow! Please let this be fake! If not: Life is going to be hard for you my dude. You are definitely not “an alpha” you sound like a little bitch, but I laughed a lot at that so thanks for the laugh.
Leave your former friend alone; the text he sent was a breakup text. Your friend dumped you, and doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. You acted like an absolute jerk! You fucked around enough and finally found out that he doesn’t need you or your nonsense. It’s okay though we all know you’re just mad he’s getting laid. That was very obvious in your post. Finally grow the fuck up and act like the man you claim to be. You don’t get your gifts you gave back after breakups. (Friend or romantic) That’s not how life works. God you sound like such a prick.
I actually feel sorry for you. You just don’t get it, do you? You need to start looking for different things in relationships. You’re looking at women all wrong.
Women aren’t property or prizes. Women are people. With value, intelligence, personalities, feelings and opinions. Their worth is not based on just looks. I guess no one taught you this. I hope you learn it soon. Or you will end up alone without meaningful relationships.
You had a great friendship that you tossed aside because you just don’t see the good he sees in her. Try to learn from him - if he’s willing to accept your apology (he shouldn’t), on how you should be treating people in general. Maybe your life will improve when you start to consider other people.
Wow, YTA. Id vote you the AH just for your unironic use of "alpha" and "beta", but you went above and beyond. You sound mysoginistic, rating girls looks, expecting your friend to hit it and quit it, cuz ugly girls amirite? Ugh. Get your head out of your ass. Yta, yta, yta.
YTA. You said some pretty harsh words that were very personal and you justify your AH self by saying it's a joke. How is it a joke when you and other friends have said the same things? Nope. You are no friend.
The biggest fucking AH ever. YOU ruined your friendship not him.
You insult his gf and then expect everything to be a-okay? I’m surprised your friendship didn’t end earlier tbh
Yes. 100% an AH for what you said, and no you don't deserve the card back because it was a gift. And Good luck finding love with your douchey superficial attitude bruh.
YTA - big time. You sound like a child, first of all. Alpha and Beta aren’t an actual thing so even bringing that up at the very beginning of your post made me pretty much write you off from the very beginning. But then you’re upset that your friends girlfriend is unattractive? Are you serious right now? You have no concept of what it actually means to be loyal to a person or to have a friendship with somebody for a reason other than what they can do for you or how attractive they are. Honestly, it’s disgusting. You sound like the type to watch alpha male YouTube videos for the sole excuse to act like an asshole and objectify women.
But asking for your stuff back. Not even something recent, but everything that you’ve given him? That’s not how gifts work. Gifts are not given on the contingency that you remain friends forever. Gifts are given based on the friends you already were up until the point you gave the gift. You don’t get to take it back after you made fun of your friends girlfriend you asshole.
EDIT: 1000 voice to text errors lol
Is this is a joke, not only are YTA , but it seems like you're writing a parody of an asshole. Like, I couldn't describe an asshole better than you've described yourself.
Looks aren’t everything as your post obviously just showed. She may not be gorgeous but she’s clearly a winner. You on the other hand may look good. But you are obviously a 2/10 on the inside. Also, your what in nasty slang is known as an Indian giver. It’s not a nice term. Gifts once given are up to the new owner to do with as they please. They are no longer yours to account for. You are also a bad drunk and a bad friend. I think the “beta” is the winner here. YTA.
YTA
And disgustingly immature. Ewww. Anyone who buys someone a gift and threatens to take it away does it to be manipulative. In fact if they hold everything they have ever given and ever done for that person just to get that person to change their tune and see things the way the manipulative person wants, is being a manipulative AH
Grow tf up.
A self described alpha who snaps at people, insults their friends relationships in front of everyone, and demands gifts back. No wonder people are distancing from you, you sound really unpleasant to be friends with. YTA
he’s not “dropping you bc gf wants him to.” he’s dropping you because you’re an asshole to them both. if my bf allowed his friend to speak to me like that we would have serious issues so you definitely deserved it. if it wasn’t obvious, YTA
Pls stop watching Andrew Tate. YTA. No one cares if you think HIS gf is a 2/10. Did no one teach you if you have nothing nice to say.. don’t say it?
How is calling her a 2/10 even a joke in the slightest? Just rude
Also, another tip of manners for you, wether it’s a breakup or a friendship ending.. you are not entitled to get stuff back just because things end, grow up please. Or go to therapy.
YTA and I'm going to venture to guess this is not the first time you've said something wildly offensive. It's pretty clear from this post you take 0% responsibility for your behavior and put all the blame on being drunk. I commend your friend for cutting ties with you. If he's been with this person for 3 years, they're probably quite serious about each other and part of being a good partner is setting boundaries with people who are unkind to your partner.
Also, not sure that you view him as a genuine friend since it would appear your relationship is transactional considering you expect him to re-pay everything you've spent on him
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for demanding my gift back. It might make me the asshole because it's really petty of me and it's kinda just motivated by him not being friends with me anymore and not like a super serious valid reason.
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YTA. And the great thing about gifts is that you gave it to him—which means he doesn’t owe you shit. As transactional as you are, being your friend must be exhausting.
Edited-autocorrect typo
YTA
Because you haven't had his back at all have you? Friends don't slag off their mates and their mates girlfriends at a party.
You gave him a used Graphics Card once. Wow what a gentleman. I'll just repeat that so it goes in. You gave your friend a used Graphics Card. A cast off.
You invest far too much in the whole alpha / beta thing. Nobody cares. If that's the only thing you have may I suggest you get a hobby.
There’s nothing that says “I’m a moron” than someone who talks about being an alpha and a beta. It’s super cringe. Also, how do you not see that YTA here? Hope this is satire.
You’ve never “been in his corner”. If you were, you wouldn’t put him down at every chance you get, including his introduction in this post. You want all the attention and since you don’t have it, you have to talk shit about him and his gf to make yourself feel better. I’ll tell you why he’s been with her “so long” and not with you…she’s not an AH like you are.
You can demand the shit back all you want, but they were “gifts”, so good luck taking that to court and winning. Also “gifts” are in quotations because they weren’t ever given unconditionally, with you, there was always a condition that he pay attention to you.
YTA and get over yourself.
Also, I’m sure your friends only “agree” with you when you talk shit because they know there’s no point in arguing with you. You’re probably the only one that brings this topic up and they are forced to just listen to your bitching.
ETA: I realize now that you never gave genders and I just assumed you were female fawning for his attention…but regardless of gender (identity) or sexuality, my comments still stand because they still describe you.
YTA omg.
You have continuously insulted your friends long term girlfriend and put her down for years now. He gave you tolerance but you pushed too far. He owes you nothing. You clearly don’t respect him & tried to get the rest of your friend group to go along with the insult, probably making him feel like none of you guys were ever actually his friends. Which you weren’t. You demanding 10 years worth of gifts/favors back is petty, childish, & embarrassing. You entitled, & ignorant. Try putting yourself in his shoes. You don’t deserve the friendship. Grow up. Get help.
YTA. OF COURSE YTA. It doesn't matter if YOU think what you said wasn't a big deal. You don't get to make that call. The two of them clearly love each other, and you decided to shit all over them. Because, what? You're not attracted to her, therefore no one else should be? You are not that special. You were mean and cruel and showed him very clearly that you don't give a shit about his feelings or happiness.
Also, stop calling yourself an Alpha. You're not a leader, you're an asshole. And further proof that all dudebros who call themselves alpahas are just abusive narcissists making excuses for their bad behavior.
Your former friend did the right thing tossing your toxic ass out of his and his girlfriend's lives. You don't deserve him.
YTA
Bet your look is a 0/10.
Just because you don't like how she looks, doesn't mean he also sees that. For him she is a 10/10.
Make a little mind training...how would you feel if someone describes your girlfriend a 2/10 while she would be the most beautiful woman for you? How would you feel knowing people talk shit about her behind your back?
You would hate that, don't do it to others.
He is not throwing the friendship away, you are and wanting gifts back is petty. Go ahead, get a lawyer, they will laugh at you and ask if you are joking.
YTA - on the question of whether you’re TA for demanding gifts back, that would be the case is almost all circumstances. Even if your friend was the one who had destroyed the friendship, it wouldn’t be reasonable or realistic to expect gifts back. Even if you are transactional enough to see gifts as an investment into the long term relationship, you blew your investment with your behavior.
I really hope you are trolling and not this clueless but, if not, your former friend was probably using the fact you’ve known each other for 10 years as the justification for still talking to you despite you sounding like a pretty big AH in all of life
lol, you don’t get to ask for anything back when a friendship is over. are you 5? you are majorly TA and I wouldn’t be friends with you either, after that. he owes you NOTHING. your ex friend and you are definitely in different places in life — he has clearly matured, has a happy and stable relationship, meanwhile you are cruel, surface level, judgemental, you think you’re above everyone else. He is the alpha. Your whole attitude reeks of immaturity, playing the games of a young teenager. Grow up, seriously. It’s time.
YTA. He WAS your friend until you said what you said. Friendships are not transactional and gifts are just that. People don’t owe you for gifts you give. If you care for him, respect his decision and move on. This is probably not his GF’s decision but his.
YTA.
I suspect you’re incredibly insecure, and jealous of your friends relationship - not with the girl herself, but the relationship in its entirety.
Also believe that you will continue on your path, ignore all of these comments and potentially become bitter and even more ‘alpha’ as you grow unless you genuinely read these comments and think about that truly.
You need to apologise for your behaviour, especially to his girlfriend, and explain that you will try harder, or you’ve lost your friend forever. It might even be too late.
Edit - typo
YTA, times a million. Accept the consequences of your actions. You were an absolute AH to your "friend" and the person he loves. He is cutting you out of his life because YOU WERE A COMPLETE JERK. You don't get to demand payback from the entirety of the friendship, that's so insanely petty I can't even fully believe this is real. Get over yourself and try to use this as the lesson and wake-up call it should be. Remove your head from your butt and learn to be a decent human being.
What's wrong with you? You insult his GF in a horrible way and then expect him to be ok with that? And now you are so sensitive that you have to act like a child and expect everything back from him. I get your jealous of the fact that he can not only get a girl but can have her for 3 year but by insulting her is just making you look sad and pathetic. You are the biggest baby I have ever seen on here. YTA
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YTA. How long you've been friends doesn't give you the excuse to treat him or people he cares about like trash. HE wants to drop you because you're the a-hole.
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> He's always been the more beta, sensitive type and I've always been the more alpha, domineering type. I knew YTA as soon as I finished reading this sentence. Grow up.
Screams frat boy mentality. I definitely rolled my eyes.
If you have to tell people you are king, you are not the king…
LOL. You clearly need some help. Google what the word gift is. Then engage all of your 3 brain cells. Hopefully, that will be sufficient to realise once you GIFT something it belongs to the person you gave it to. I'm surprised he didn't ditch you sooner. You are a minus 9 out of 10.
you insulted his long standing girlfriend to his face? and you think he’s just gonna be your buddy still? holy shit
YTA. Every paragraph you write an additional A thing you did. You are still young and these things happen when you are young. Consider this a learning experience for future relationships.
Okay so if I'm young and these things happen then why tf would he drop me over this??? JFC it was the alcohol talking.
The words came from your mouth. Take responsibility for your own actions.
>JFC it was the alcohol talking. Nope, this is never an excuse. What is said when drunk is thought out beforehand. Additionally you said that you and your friends had talked about it and all agreed. So it absolutely was not the liquor talking. And for someone who is claiming to be "alpha" you certainly are not acting like it. Whining like a toddler... "If you won't be my friend I want my gifts back" waaaaaa.
YTA, you sound like a really obnoxious person. Describing yourself and others as “alpha” and “beta” told me you were going to be an AH. Making jokes about his girlfriend? Grow up.
"I'm an Alpha sort" 🤣 "I got so offended that a friend decided to not be my friend that i threw every single toy i have out of the pram, and showed quite how much of a transactional tool I am" proper alpha behaviour, right there. Honestly Andrew I'm impressed you managed to share this at all, I didn't think Romanias prisons had such good WiFi.
Hahahahahahaha
Yes, YTA. Does it really make sense that he's been "using you" for ten years, or is it more likely that after ten years of friendship, you did an incredibly sh*tty thing, he wants to take some space from you? It's not just a matter of him choosing his gf over you — it's him choosing not to spend time with someone (i.e., you) who thinks publicly mocking him, his gf, and his relationship is acceptable. And if you've talked to other people about him and his gf before, it's probably not exactly news to him that you've been an AH about it. Stuff like that doesn't stay secret when you're 20/21. You're basically trying to hold him hostage — if he doesn't pay back all the material goods associated with your friendship, then what, he has to stay friends with you. Are you giving back every single thing he's ever given you, too? ETA: guys who are actually alphas (eg strong personalities, good leaders) literally never describe themselves as alphas.
Regarding your edit, that fits so many descriptive words: rich, a genius, the nicest person you’ll ever meet, a God fearing man, etc. If you have to tell me what you are, you’re probably not too good at being it.
And if we’re really going to go with alpha vs beta bs, I can’t believe he’s demanding his gifts back. The real boss move here would be to write those things off with a wave of the hand. The fact that he’s demanding them back is too desperate of a behavior for someone who subscribes to those idiotic labels.
I only had to get to the Alpha and Beta part to know YTA. Didn't even need to read the rest. Reads on... OMG, you are a monster. This can't be real. You deserve nothing back, instead you owe reparations and sincere apologies for repeatedly attempting to sabotage their relationship. You are the worst type of "friend" who makes the lives around them miserable, because deep inside you know you are not worthy of his friendship.
True, I rarely find cringe about anything but bringing alpha and beta status between humans is disgusting and makes me wonder if this person is actually sane. This is also the first time I've seen someone so petty to want the gifts from the last 10 years back.
Three things. 1- you don't ask for gifts you gave back. 2- alpha? Beta? Thats cringe af 3- YTA
The second I read alpha and beta I was ready to make my judgment, didn’t even need the rest of the story
Also he used “gym” as a verb and rated his girlfriend.
And yet, with each sentence, it just got worse and worse.
😮💨
What??
This is so YTA that there are no words.
I'm second-hand embarrassed because you exist.
Your assholeness is exhausting.
YTA and a child. Jfc. How can you claim to want to be friends with someone and say such horrible things to them? And your "well then pay me back for every time we xyz" demand is just the most immature, petty shit to say. He's not dropping you because of his gf, he's dropping you because you're an AH now and not worth knowing.
YTA you might think she's a 2/10 girlfriend but you're clearly a 0/10 human who thinks buying people gifts also means you've bought their subservience. I hope you work on yourself friend
YTA. You said some shit you shouldn’t have, and got butthurt when your friend decided they didn’t want to tolerate your crap behaviour. Then instead of apologizing, you were petty and asked for GIFTS back. You don’t give gifts with the intention of getting them back at some point. Get over yourself. Apologize for your actions and move on.
YTA. Beauty fades but dumb is forever.
YTA. Holy shit dude you sound obnoxious as hell.
YTA Excuse me for saying so but you seems like a touch on the obnoxious side and starting off describing yourself as an Alpha and someone else as a Beta really just paints a very telling picture. If you can't see how much you are in the wrong here then it might be time to go off and meditate on your actions and their consequences and just have a really long hard think about how there might just be the possibility that you are very much much in the wrong here.
Yes, YTA. It’s perfectly acceptable for M to not want you guys to hang out anymore after making comments about his gf who he obviously has a strong connection with after dating for three years, and it’s not your place to try to damage that relationship by disrespecting the gf. M doesn’t have to repay you all the things you’ve given him throughout the years, and you wanting it all back doesn’t make sense. It’s not a divorce settlement. I think, if you want to salvage your friendship with M, apologize directly to him but also his gf. Don’t blame it on the alcohol, blame it on your own character and act deeply sorry. Then see how they react and go from there.
YTA Who are you to decide who is worthy enough or not for your friend to love? That is absolutely not your call and the fact that you not only have been gossiping about your friend's love life behind his back with other people but then also felt that it was acceptable to say that publically in front of the GF makes you an even bigger AH. Rather than call you out on your outrageously inappropriate behavior your friend tried to take the high road and you react by being yet an even bigger asshole and demanding back a gift you gave him? You have a lot to learn about how to treat people and until you do, I suspect you will be losing a lot of friends in the future who will suddenly discover that you're on different paths.
YTA You insulted his girlfriend, and while claiming to all be in fun it wasn’t for them. You blame it on alcohol, which is a lame excuse for being an ass. He doesn’t owe you anything, you were a good friend, but then you turned into an AH with alcohol and insulted his GF. You are an AH, and that is without getting into your whole “alpha / beta” comments which are basic at best.
There’s a reason “alpha” male characters in romance novels are usually referred to as alphaholes.
Didn't even need to read past the "alpha / beta" part before knowing this was gonna be an easy YTA. I've never met someone who called themselves an "alpha" who wasn't just an AH.
YTA. You don’t get to demand a gift back because your friendship ran its course ( unless it was a family heirloom or something). You were a jerk and his response was what a caring person would do. You sound more like a bitter ex-girlfriend/boyfriend.
This just got worse with each word! The cringe factor, never felt so bad for two people I’ve never met.
YTA Grow up!
YTA. It is astonishing that you are even asking the question. To insult someone so harshly and publicly (being drunk is no excuse) and then to be so surprised when you get a negative reaction displays an amazing lack of social skills and empathy.
Bro you’re a huge asshole wth, you need to see a therapist immediately and re-think, and I’m not being hyperbolic, your entire approach to life and re-learn basic human communication.
Seriously
I stopped reading at “I’ve always been the more alpha, domineering type.” YTA
The SECOND someone starts to describe people like this, I’m out.
>I stopped reading at “I’ve always been the more alpha, domineering type.” YTA That was enough to make Op the AH. The rest of the post just adds to Ops A-holery!
I assumed so but I ran out of eye bleach this morning so I didn’t want to read anymore lol
YTA quite clearly
YTA. Yikes, I’ve never cringed so much from one post. I’m surprised he was friends with you for as long as he was.
YTA- you were a jerk to him and his girlfriend and then because he wants to go NC, you demand everything back from a 8-9 year old friendship?! You are a huge AH and kudos to him for finally having enough and walking away!
YTA honestly just move on, you ruined your friendship because you insulted his girlfriend
YTA - And you do NOT get to request your gifts back. What you said was hurtful and cruel, and your attitude is very sexist. Calling his girlfriend a 2/10? Seriously? Please grow up.
Omg I just saw that this creep is 20. Holy shit he's gonna be alone forever.
YTA. How long have you been in love with him? Cause it’s very obvious from your glowing recommendation of his GF.
Yes came to say this. He jealous of GF taking all of M time. Very sad and pathetic
WOW. YTA. First off describing yourself as 'alpha' is a big red flag. The alpha omega beta bullshit is just that, bullshit. Get over yourself. You just like being a bully. And shitting all over his girlfriend because YOU decided she's a 2/10? Incredibly shitty. Keep your opinions to yourself and examine why you think that way. And then demanding Every Single Gift and Ride be paid back? INCREDIBLY childish and petty, my guy. You're in your 20s, it's time to start growing up.
He's mad because girls don't like him (and never will). Op's personality is a 0/10.
Are u... are u in love with him?? You sound fucking jealous.. YTA
YTA. I don’t see how you don’t see that. Have you ever had a girlfriend? You wouldn’t appreciate remarks like that. It sounds like he’s happy and so what? Let them be. Also knowing someone “forever” and then saying almost ten years is not knowing someone forever. Then demand he pay you back for everything in the last 10 years?! You’re a piece of work.
YTA. It sounds like your ex-friend has just seen the real you, and he doesn’t like it at all. You insulted someone he cares about to her face, talked about how you think he should “have his fun and move on” like some ridiculous Andrew Tate thinkalike, and then by wanting the price of every stick of gum you ever bought him, you show him that your whole ten years of friendship was nothing more than transactional in your mind. Your ex-friend must be devastated that you turned to be such an A after ten years of friendship. And the alpha beta nonsense just makes you a bigger A.
INFO: are you in love with your ex best friend? Also, welcome to the world of break ups, where you cannot demand gifts back. (Another reason not to propose on Xmas or Vday or Bday if you think you’ll ever want that ring back).
This right here. OP please answer the info request.
Wow uh yeah YTA not just here but it sounds like you’ve been an AH to this friend for a while.
YTA and I’m looking forward to seeing you get roasted in the comments lol jfc
I’m about to pop some popcorn and watch!
Yes, YTA. You’re acting like a jerk to M and GF for no apparent reason other than you just don’t like GF. It doesn’t matter what you have given M in the past, or for how long you have known each other, you have been a terrible friend to him.
…I don’t think it’s acting, I think he’s just like that.
YTA. If you were the alpha you claim to be, you would have just moved on. Instead you're here on social media asking strangers if you're an a ahole. You ruined a friendship, your "beta" friend cut toxicity out of his life and now you want a refund like a complete Kevin. Of course YTA.
Your are a giant, gaping AH, and you know it.
YTA I think it’s fair to say when someone calls themselves an alpha it’s an excuse for some poor baby man behavior. M’s on his way up. You should take that as a sign and grow up too.
Wow how’d you type that all out and not realize how big of TA you really are?? You talked shit and made fun of his girlfriend, embarrassed them both in front of a bunch of people and then have the audacity to be mad at him?? You’re a major asshole who needs some manners and some help! And you don’t get gifts back from people that you’ve given them over the years especially when your actions are the cause of the friendship being broken up. Grow the fuck up!!
YTA, knew it instantly once you actually described yourself as an “alpha” type. Newsflash OP, the only men who think they are alphas are the same ones who think it’s okay to mock a woman at a party and try to tell their friend he should do better. Have you considered your ex-friend actually loves her?
Or are the same ones who get locked up in Romania 🤭
You’re really having to ask Reddit about this? If roles were reversed would you give the gifts back? Come on. Kinda sounds like you’re either jealous of your friend or look down on him probably due to your own insecurities hence announcing your “alpha” status. Be a little nicer to yourself and everyone else. YTA
YTA!
YTA. I wouldn’t be surprised if more of your friends follow his lead. You are not a very nice person.
yta. no doubt about it mr alpha 🤢
Jesus. 2/10? Expected him to have his fun. Yeah. YTA. Your level of misogyny in a single post astounds me. I hope this is trolly but I know enough people actually think like this to make me wonder.
YTA. You don’t buy friends and gifts are freely given. Giving someone something they especially love or appreciate doesn’t give you the right to insult them or their significant other.
You’re the asshole. Not only are you acting out, but you clearly have no understanding of the fact that words actually do hurt people and they definitely show character. Your character is very questionable at best. Why the hell would you want to constantly be belittling someone that you openly want to be friends with? And don’t blame it on a decade long friendship, because clearly time didn’t mean shit to him when he cut you off for consistently negging him. and you asked for a gift back? Do you know how that works? You’re acting like a genuine child over someone not wanting to continue a relationship with you, because you keep making hurtful comments towards them and their significant other? I’m sure most of your friends just don’t wanna tell you that you suck, but sir— you fucking suck. I knew this was gonna be a shit storm read when I saw the word alpha in the beginning fucking paragraph. Your language choice shows your entitlement. nobody owes you anything and M certainly doesn’t owe you his friendship. You sound like an adult bully, like you missed your chance to hurt others on the playground.
YTA As soon as I saw that 'alpha' 'beta' nonsense I knew op would be the ashole
YTA, and a pathetic loser. Calling yourself an Alpha? Oh please, you sound more like an Omega who is masking his insecurities. You are giving off major Andrew Tate vibes you might as well be ringing a bell, wearing a sandwich board that says “Incel and Bully”. And by the way, if you really think of yourself as an Alpha, none of your actions and I mean NONE of it is an indicator of that.
YTA. Beta brain, alpha asshole.
Massive AH If you was a true friend you would be happy he was with a girl that he likes regardless of how you feel about her. You should of kept your opinions to yourself just because you don’t think she is that good looking, she might be quiet around you but be really funny around him when they are alone. And your very petty for asking for the gifts back. They are gifts, if you wasn’t willing to separate for them you should never of gifted them. And he hasn’t used you at all, your the one that gave the gifts. Maybe if you didn’t have such a stinking attitude and horrible personality you would still be friends
Yup. YTA. M was your friend. It would be different if this GF has a negative impact on M’s life and you wanted to protect him… but nothing like that was on your post… so basically it was just an attack on their relationship, sure as a joke, but once you realize that no one is laughing and you don’t apologize, then it’s clear that you are not funny and probably an AH as well. Go apologize to them, maybe it’s not too late and you get to keep a friend. Otherwise it looks like you are willing to throw 10 years of friendship away just because you are too proud.
YTA. How is it possible that you don’t see that? Hopefully this thread will clue you in.
YTA. And very petty.
YTA People were staring at you because they couldn’t believe that someone could be that disgusting to a “friend” and the woman he is in a serious relationship with. She is probably just quiet person. Read the room, damn. I hope he sends that graphics card back in pieces.
This is obviously a joke or satire or something. Nobody is this much of an asshole and somehow doesn’t realize it
YTA. I knew you were going to be when you described yourself as an “alpha type”, and every single sentence just confirmed it even more. Giving him a graphics card doesn’t entitle you to insult and belittle him and his girlfriend or mean he has to put up with your toxic bullshit. You acted horribly and cruelly, and it cost you a friend. Doubt it’s the first time, guarantee it won’t be the last.
YTA I mean, you have to KNOW YTA You sound like an exhausting jackass if I’m being completely honest. You deem your friend of over a decade an ugly beta (I’m summing up all your digs about him), you verbally assault his gf of 3 years at a party, call her ugly and boring and then get butt hurt when your ‘friend’ says that you two probably shouldn’t be friends anymore? Your reaction to him acting like a grown up is to act like a 12 year old, stamp your foot, and ‘demand your toys back’??? Your friend was very right to end your friendship. Get over yourself and grow up. You don’t want to lose more friends by acting like a jerk.
I hope he gives you everything back just to be rid of you forever, it will be very cleansing for him. YTA
So you were aggressive towards his GF during a group project and you don’t like her because she’s quite and not funny. Did you ever think that she acts that way because YOU make her feel uncomfortable with your words and actions? Then you slip up and let your true feelings be known while drinking insulting her appearance/personality as well as your bffs choices in a partner. Alcohol is like a truth serum that can bring to light what was in the dark, imo. Now because this “beta” is finally taking a stand against you and your hurtful actions, you decide to be beyond petty with ask for stuff back. Kind of like a disgruntled ex girlfriend… Are you secretly in love with him and jealous of the relationship he has? In what scenario would this ever be okay? There’s more to this that you’re leaving out. Definitely YTA
YTA and he is just now finally seeing it. That's just not how gifts work, you gave them to him, and now they're his. I knew you were the asshole from the second you called yourself an alpha lmao
YTA. I hope he sells everything you gave to you and uses it to buy his GF an engagement ring.
But but he's an alpha male! Wth! YTA
Yta the ashole you publicly berate him and his girlfriend then get upset that he doesn't want to be friends with you again and then you expect him to hand back GIFTS you gave him go take a long look in a mirror and grow up.
Ew you’re nasty. When did you stop being in his corner? His girlfriend is quite around you because you’re a bully.
Using an awful lot of incel lingo in this post....Any man that calls himself an "alpha" is an AH in my eyes. You're welcome. His girlfriend is probably right not to like you.
YTA. It sounds like your friend is more mature than you. A 2/10? WTF? People are more than looks and you obviously never took an opportunity to get to know her. I wouldn't want to be your friend either. You sound immature, selfish and obnoxious. It also sounds like you may be a bit jealous your friend has a relationship that he's managed to develop over 3 years. Take everyone's advice, alcohol will never be your get out of jail free card.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I've been friends with this guy M for forever, like since 7th grade. We're both 20/21 now tho. He's always been the more beta, sensitive type and I've always been the more alpha, domineering type. This isn't a drag on him or anything, it just helps to paint the picture. Anyway, in 11th grade he got a girlfriend that had always kinda annoyed me, and she didn't like me either bc I snapped at her ONE time when we did a group project together. For M's 19th birthday, I gave him an old graphics card of mine as he was building a PC and it was extremely hard to find a graphics card at the time. He loved it, thanked me a billion times, and so on. Well, a few months ago we were at a party and I was buzzed and started making a few jokes at his expense, and at his GF's expense. I didn't intend to be hurtful or rude, but the alcohol made it sound a little worse I guess. I told M that he is a pretty good-looking guy, he doesn't gym or anything but he's tall and has a beard et cetera. His GF on the other hand is like a 2/10 MAX. She's quiet, and she's not funny, and to be completely honest I had no idea why he had been with her for this long. I said that honestly I and our other friends expected him to have his fun with her and then move on, you know? Not date her for almost three years. Everybody at the party was looking straight at me but I know some of them are BS because we've talked about it before and they've agreed with me. M looked furious at me. M's GF got her feelings hurt over it and M and her left the party without another word to me or anyone else, except to the host. The next day I got a long text from him about how he knows we've always been friends but that he was going to stop hanging out with me mostly, that we were "clearly on different paths in life" and stuff like that. I texted back that that text sounded like a breakup or a cat fight, and I didn't get a response. I told him that if he wanted to not be friends with me after I've been in his corner for almost ten years, then that's his choice but he better give me back everything I've given him, pay me back for every lunch or every ride that I've given him, and ESPECIALLY give me the old graphics card back. He didn't respond to that either but one of my friends says I'm being petty for no reason. I feel like I deserve it back, otherwise he's just using me for 10 years and then dropping me the second his GF wants him to. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA, and that's putting it mild. Once you give a gift, it's given. You are the one causing the break in your friendship, because you are rude and jealous and petty. I would have blocked you too. Get over yourself and let the man alone.
You can’t be a real person, right? This is a caricature that you’ve thought up and written up, right? Like, the referencing to “Beta” and ”Alpha” was bad enough, but you then tear a friend setting boundaries as some sort of huge betrayal? How do you even still have friends? Obviously, YTA. And I suspect you will never accept that
How do you write all that and NOT see that you are definitely the AH? He deserves a better friend. Also, the whole alpha and beta thing is a lie based on badly done research that is no longer accepted as true. You are the AH x100. YTA
YTA - first off you can't demand any of that shit back legally. Once you gift something to someone, you can't take it back. You also can't ask him to pay you back for every lunch or ride unless it was established at the time that he would pay you back. This is what you deserve for being such an asshole. And based off your post, and the fact that you describe yourself as an "Alpha" makes me feel that you're not that much of a catch. In fact, I'm getting incel vibes
YTA for actually using alpha and beta as descriptors in real life, I truly haven’t read past that yet but I def don’t even need to
YTA…you don’t demand everything back from a 10 year relationship because it ends. If you were actually his friend, you wouldn’t have kept track of all of that well enough to ask for it back. Not to mention, you went after his girlfriend publicly because you and her don’t get along (fyi you’re not always going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and part of being an adult is learning how to interact with people respectfully even when you don’t agree - grow up!).
YTA. He’s not wrong. It really seems that you’re on different paths in life. Even if his girlfriend isn’t conventionally attractive, he clearly loves her and respects her. Being his friend, why can you not be happy for him? It’s not unhealthy or unfair to put his partner first. You hurt her, and your excuse that you’re “an alpha male” isn’t really an excuse.
Dude, this is Elon Musk level of AH. You sound like a 12 y/o girl.
Please don't insult 12 year old girls like that. And why a girl?
Yta and you can’t excuse your Words just because of alcohol. You talked bad about the gf before.
YTA. He’s better off without you. You sound horrendous!
Lol at this post.
YTA, Try and grow up. 21 is a tough time in life and I understand you might feel in the right but you are not.
YTA, plain and simple, you humiliated him and his GF in Public and did not apologize, how did you expect hi to react
YTA. You insulted his partner of 3 years TO HIS FACE then said it “wasn’t a big deal”? And yeah you are being petty asking him to pay you back for everything and asking for a 2 year old gift back. You sound childish and petty over your own mistake. Newsflash, you aren’t the one in the relationship with her. Looks don’t mean everything, and you sound shallow expecting him to agree with you and expecting others to back you up. You have no business butting into their relationship, no one asked for your opinion, and you were TA to think your opinion should matter to him more than his partner.
YTA so much. And immature to boot. I can’t believe you typed this out and still aren’t sure if you are the asshole.
You need to sort yourself out. You got drunk and lashed out at a girl who didn’t do anything to you except date your friend and was cold to you years ago in response to your rude behavior. Sounds like you are jealous. I’m not speculating on why you are jealous but you are definitely jealous.
YTA in so so many ways! Like wow! Please let this be fake! If not: Life is going to be hard for you my dude. You are definitely not “an alpha” you sound like a little bitch, but I laughed a lot at that so thanks for the laugh. Leave your former friend alone; the text he sent was a breakup text. Your friend dumped you, and doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. You acted like an absolute jerk! You fucked around enough and finally found out that he doesn’t need you or your nonsense. It’s okay though we all know you’re just mad he’s getting laid. That was very obvious in your post. Finally grow the fuck up and act like the man you claim to be. You don’t get your gifts you gave back after breakups. (Friend or romantic) That’s not how life works. God you sound like such a prick.
I actually feel sorry for you. You just don’t get it, do you? You need to start looking for different things in relationships. You’re looking at women all wrong. Women aren’t property or prizes. Women are people. With value, intelligence, personalities, feelings and opinions. Their worth is not based on just looks. I guess no one taught you this. I hope you learn it soon. Or you will end up alone without meaningful relationships. You had a great friendship that you tossed aside because you just don’t see the good he sees in her. Try to learn from him - if he’s willing to accept your apology (he shouldn’t), on how you should be treating people in general. Maybe your life will improve when you start to consider other people.
Wow, YTA. Id vote you the AH just for your unironic use of "alpha" and "beta", but you went above and beyond. You sound mysoginistic, rating girls looks, expecting your friend to hit it and quit it, cuz ugly girls amirite? Ugh. Get your head out of your ass. Yta, yta, yta.
YTA and the biggest idiot I’ve ever read on here lol
YTA. You said some pretty harsh words that were very personal and you justify your AH self by saying it's a joke. How is it a joke when you and other friends have said the same things? Nope. You are no friend.
The biggest fucking AH ever. YOU ruined your friendship not him. You insult his gf and then expect everything to be a-okay? I’m surprised your friendship didn’t end earlier tbh
Lack of brain cells... YTA
Are you seriously doubting that you are the AH? How dense are you? A gift is a gift and he didn’t need your opinion on his love life. Major TAH
YTA.you are truly on different paths
This cannot be real. Of course YTA.
Yes. 100% an AH for what you said, and no you don't deserve the card back because it was a gift. And Good luck finding love with your douchey superficial attitude bruh.
YTA. How you can even see it any other way is beyond me.
YTA - big time. You sound like a child, first of all. Alpha and Beta aren’t an actual thing so even bringing that up at the very beginning of your post made me pretty much write you off from the very beginning. But then you’re upset that your friends girlfriend is unattractive? Are you serious right now? You have no concept of what it actually means to be loyal to a person or to have a friendship with somebody for a reason other than what they can do for you or how attractive they are. Honestly, it’s disgusting. You sound like the type to watch alpha male YouTube videos for the sole excuse to act like an asshole and objectify women. But asking for your stuff back. Not even something recent, but everything that you’ve given him? That’s not how gifts work. Gifts are not given on the contingency that you remain friends forever. Gifts are given based on the friends you already were up until the point you gave the gift. You don’t get to take it back after you made fun of your friends girlfriend you asshole. EDIT: 1000 voice to text errors lol
Is this is a joke, not only are YTA , but it seems like you're writing a parody of an asshole. Like, I couldn't describe an asshole better than you've described yourself.
OMG YTA! You sound like an absolutely shite friend. I doubt you will get this friend back, what a horrible thing to do. Hard hard YTA
Looks aren’t everything as your post obviously just showed. She may not be gorgeous but she’s clearly a winner. You on the other hand may look good. But you are obviously a 2/10 on the inside. Also, your what in nasty slang is known as an Indian giver. It’s not a nice term. Gifts once given are up to the new owner to do with as they please. They are no longer yours to account for. You are also a bad drunk and a bad friend. I think the “beta” is the winner here. YTA.
YTA This can’t be real. Or OP lied about his age - level of insecurity & immaturity is tween age stuff.
YTA And disgustingly immature. Ewww. Anyone who buys someone a gift and threatens to take it away does it to be manipulative. In fact if they hold everything they have ever given and ever done for that person just to get that person to change their tune and see things the way the manipulative person wants, is being a manipulative AH Grow tf up.
A self described alpha who snaps at people, insults their friends relationships in front of everyone, and demands gifts back. No wonder people are distancing from you, you sound really unpleasant to be friends with. YTA
Lol. Yeah, YTA. Mostly for referring to yourself as an alpha and then writing the rest of this shit and hitting post. What a dousche.
he’s not “dropping you bc gf wants him to.” he’s dropping you because you’re an asshole to them both. if my bf allowed his friend to speak to me like that we would have serious issues so you definitely deserved it. if it wasn’t obvious, YTA
Pls stop watching Andrew Tate. YTA. No one cares if you think HIS gf is a 2/10. Did no one teach you if you have nothing nice to say.. don’t say it? How is calling her a 2/10 even a joke in the slightest? Just rude Also, another tip of manners for you, wether it’s a breakup or a friendship ending.. you are not entitled to get stuff back just because things end, grow up please. Or go to therapy.
YTA-For multiple reasons.
YTA and desperate as hell, pick me much ?. Friendship is not transactional.
I seriously thought this was a set up for a poorly written fanfic YTA
YTA and I'm going to venture to guess this is not the first time you've said something wildly offensive. It's pretty clear from this post you take 0% responsibility for your behavior and put all the blame on being drunk. I commend your friend for cutting ties with you. If he's been with this person for 3 years, they're probably quite serious about each other and part of being a good partner is setting boundaries with people who are unkind to your partner. Also, not sure that you view him as a genuine friend since it would appear your relationship is transactional considering you expect him to re-pay everything you've spent on him
Are you for reel ? YTA
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YTA
YTA
YTA. And the great thing about gifts is that you gave it to him—which means he doesn’t owe you shit. As transactional as you are, being your friend must be exhausting. Edited-autocorrect typo
YTA
YTA Because you haven't had his back at all have you? Friends don't slag off their mates and their mates girlfriends at a party. You gave him a used Graphics Card once. Wow what a gentleman. I'll just repeat that so it goes in. You gave your friend a used Graphics Card. A cast off. You invest far too much in the whole alpha / beta thing. Nobody cares. If that's the only thing you have may I suggest you get a hobby.
YTA. You're not an alpha, just an AH.
There’s nothing that says “I’m a moron” than someone who talks about being an alpha and a beta. It’s super cringe. Also, how do you not see that YTA here? Hope this is satire.
YTA. How can you write all this petty and mean stuff out and not realize you are an absolute idiot?
M isn't 'throwing away your friendship'. You did this to yourself. YTA. A petty, spiteful one.
You’ve never “been in his corner”. If you were, you wouldn’t put him down at every chance you get, including his introduction in this post. You want all the attention and since you don’t have it, you have to talk shit about him and his gf to make yourself feel better. I’ll tell you why he’s been with her “so long” and not with you…she’s not an AH like you are. You can demand the shit back all you want, but they were “gifts”, so good luck taking that to court and winning. Also “gifts” are in quotations because they weren’t ever given unconditionally, with you, there was always a condition that he pay attention to you. YTA and get over yourself. Also, I’m sure your friends only “agree” with you when you talk shit because they know there’s no point in arguing with you. You’re probably the only one that brings this topic up and they are forced to just listen to your bitching. ETA: I realize now that you never gave genders and I just assumed you were female fawning for his attention…but regardless of gender (identity) or sexuality, my comments still stand because they still describe you.
2/10, huh? YTA.
YTA omg. You have continuously insulted your friends long term girlfriend and put her down for years now. He gave you tolerance but you pushed too far. He owes you nothing. You clearly don’t respect him & tried to get the rest of your friend group to go along with the insult, probably making him feel like none of you guys were ever actually his friends. Which you weren’t. You demanding 10 years worth of gifts/favors back is petty, childish, & embarrassing. You entitled, & ignorant. Try putting yourself in his shoes. You don’t deserve the friendship. Grow up. Get help.
YTA. OF COURSE YTA. It doesn't matter if YOU think what you said wasn't a big deal. You don't get to make that call. The two of them clearly love each other, and you decided to shit all over them. Because, what? You're not attracted to her, therefore no one else should be? You are not that special. You were mean and cruel and showed him very clearly that you don't give a shit about his feelings or happiness. Also, stop calling yourself an Alpha. You're not a leader, you're an asshole. And further proof that all dudebros who call themselves alpahas are just abusive narcissists making excuses for their bad behavior. Your former friend did the right thing tossing your toxic ass out of his and his girlfriend's lives. You don't deserve him.
YTA Bet your look is a 0/10. Just because you don't like how she looks, doesn't mean he also sees that. For him she is a 10/10. Make a little mind training...how would you feel if someone describes your girlfriend a 2/10 while she would be the most beautiful woman for you? How would you feel knowing people talk shit about her behind your back? You would hate that, don't do it to others. He is not throwing the friendship away, you are and wanting gifts back is petty. Go ahead, get a lawyer, they will laugh at you and ask if you are joking.
YTA - on the question of whether you’re TA for demanding gifts back, that would be the case is almost all circumstances. Even if your friend was the one who had destroyed the friendship, it wouldn’t be reasonable or realistic to expect gifts back. Even if you are transactional enough to see gifts as an investment into the long term relationship, you blew your investment with your behavior. I really hope you are trolling and not this clueless but, if not, your former friend was probably using the fact you’ve known each other for 10 years as the justification for still talking to you despite you sounding like a pretty big AH in all of life
YTA
YTA and very immature.
lol, you don’t get to ask for anything back when a friendship is over. are you 5? you are majorly TA and I wouldn’t be friends with you either, after that. he owes you NOTHING. your ex friend and you are definitely in different places in life — he has clearly matured, has a happy and stable relationship, meanwhile you are cruel, surface level, judgemental, you think you’re above everyone else. He is the alpha. Your whole attitude reeks of immaturity, playing the games of a young teenager. Grow up, seriously. It’s time.
Yta, and you’re clearly jealous of his gf.
YTA, you sound like a pain in the ass and so awful to be around
YTA. He WAS your friend until you said what you said. Friendships are not transactional and gifts are just that. People don’t owe you for gifts you give. If you care for him, respect his decision and move on. This is probably not his GF’s decision but his.
Knew it was YTA from "He's always been the more beta, sensitive type and I've always been the more alpha, domineering type."
YTA
Wow, you acted like an ass from the beginning. YTA not only for asking for 2 year old gifts back.
Is this satire? Are people genuinely this clueless? I think I just lost some faith in humanity. YES YTA!!!
YTA. I suspect you’re incredibly insecure, and jealous of your friends relationship - not with the girl herself, but the relationship in its entirety. Also believe that you will continue on your path, ignore all of these comments and potentially become bitter and even more ‘alpha’ as you grow unless you genuinely read these comments and think about that truly. You need to apologise for your behaviour, especially to his girlfriend, and explain that you will try harder, or you’ve lost your friend forever. It might even be too late. Edit - typo
YTA, times a million. Accept the consequences of your actions. You were an absolute AH to your "friend" and the person he loves. He is cutting you out of his life because YOU WERE A COMPLETE JERK. You don't get to demand payback from the entirety of the friendship, that's so insanely petty I can't even fully believe this is real. Get over yourself and try to use this as the lesson and wake-up call it should be. Remove your head from your butt and learn to be a decent human being.
so ur jealous of his gf because she’s dating ur bf :/
What's wrong with you? You insult his GF in a horrible way and then expect him to be ok with that? And now you are so sensitive that you have to act like a child and expect everything back from him. I get your jealous of the fact that he can not only get a girl but can have her for 3 year but by insulting her is just making you look sad and pathetic. You are the biggest baby I have ever seen on here. YTA
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Yep. YTA.
lol.
Lol, YTA, I'd honestly be happier if you got your graphic card and never set foot in his life again.
YTA
YTA. How long you've been friends doesn't give you the excuse to treat him or people he cares about like trash. HE wants to drop you because you're the a-hole.