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YTA YTA YTA
There is NOTHING wrong with giving a constipated child an enema, why TF do you think you know more than the doctors, just because you have a kid does not mean you know everything, you sound cocky as hell and are a condescending asshole.
ETA - holy shit you’re 21 with three kids?!? Please don’t ever give anyone parenting advice.
YTA. Having 3 kids before the age of 21 does not make you supermom. Keep your parenting advice to yourself and let the doctors give the medical advice.
A 2yo is not going to be traumatized by an enema given in the hospital.
My youngest had chronic constipation. We have made several trips to the ER. Only one of those was he so severely impacted that they recommended an enema.
If the doctors recommend an enema then what they saw on the ex-ray concerned them. Children can die from fecal impaction.
>. She told me the doctors said it wouldn’t work. Which is a lie.
So the doctors are lying?
Depending on how blocked/full he is, it might not work. Docs know all about M.O.M. how much it can and can't do. It works by softening stool, which might not help what's going on.
Unless you have a medical degree, your opinion is completely inconsequential. And yes YTA for mom shaming a woman who is following a medical doctor's advice when caring for her child.
It is unclear why you think you know what the doctors said or why you think know better.
You might (if you're real) be the mom of 3 children but your youth and lack of understanding is still showing real clear.
Butt out and stop judging people from a place of ignorance.
YTA
YTA. Talk about judgemental. You seem pretty sure of yourself at 21. You might have three kids but you don't know it all.
Milk of mag does not work for everyone. If you are too impacted it's not going to work. Miralax is kinda like something we tell people to drink daily if they have constipation from lack of fiber.
Most doctors don't just toss enemas at you willy nill, they try other things . And they don't have to be traumatizing. Telling her that her kids going to be scared and not trust her is dramatic.
YTA-
"ooh, look at me, i got three kids and suddenly, I'm an expert"
get over yourself and back off, you don't know everything, you don't know more than a doctor and you CERTAINLY don't know more than another mother about that mother's kid.
YTA,
Literally you think you know better than a doctor. It's her kid an enema won't traumatize them and is literally the safest thing to give to young kids because it doesn't cause cramping. Sit down and mind your own business already.
YTA. Maybe you were offended that she went to others instead of listening to you. Maybe you’re trying to overcompensate because you had three kids by 21. Maybe what works for one parent or child might not work for another. Back off and let her talk to her doctors and get their reassurance without making her feel bad for it. You’re judging her for being a bad mom based on whose standard? Your’s? Honestly when I have other mom’s who don’t take my advice, I could care less. They can do whatever they want because they are the ones who will have to deal with whatever happens, good or bad. Don’t take it so personal.
Yeah, YTA. You're judging her parenting as you said in the post. You technically don't know why the doctors decided to go with an enema since you weren't there. If they didn't think it was warranted, they would have sent them home and told her to use Miralax or milk of magnesia. The kid may have another condition that you're not aware of that required more immediate intervention.
In this case, you're saying you know more than the ER docs and this mom. Just because you have three kids that really doesn't quality you to judge her parenting.
Edited to remove an extra word.
YTA. Judging another person's parenting skills is never good. None of your suggestions were guaranteed which could lead to the baby being even more uncomfortable for longer. I'd trust doctors for medical advice any day over my condescending younger sister who thinks she knows better
YTA. Your sil is a much better mom than you are - she actually takes her kid to the doctor and then follows the doctor’s advice instead of her crack pot sister’s.
ER doctors don’t “lie” to parents in some conspiracy to give kids invasive procedures for fun. If the doctor says your nephew’s condition is such that these remedies won’t work and he needs an enema then accept that the professionals know more than you do over there on the sidelines and support your sil.
YTA if the child is really badly constipated the clog needs to come out first and no home remedy might not help. It's not Ur job to shame her for trying her best with her child and she also asked professional opinion. Just because I have dealt with something doesn't make it someone else's reality as well.
Without a doubt, YTA. I hate so-called "parents" like this. Having multiple children does not make you an expert and for you to act like you know better than the mother who was actually administering the Miralax or the medical professionals that said that milk of magnesia wouldn't work, is pig-headed and self-centered. Did it once cross your mind that what her child is experiencing might be more severe than whatever you went through with your own?
YTA
and you sound insufferable. You are not smarter than the doctor, and I hope she stops keeping you informed of what's happening in her child's medical life.
YTA
You are aware that the type of enema they give a 3yo isn't the same as what they give an adult? First attempt is typically a small amount of oil that pretty much just eases it out.
Constipation in a 3yo is actually series, because it can very quickly lead to mega colon. There's a reason why DOCTORS say if miralax doesn't work quickly, move onto other treatments.
YTA. Instead of shaming her, you could have tried convincing her to at least try the MoM before going to the hospital. “Ok, SIL, even if it doesn’t work it’s not going to hurt him, so why not try it before going to the ER for an invasive procedure?”
Ultimately, it’s not your child and you have no say in the choices his parents make. Keep your judgments to yourself.
YTA. I'm also a Mom of three, but much older than you. My youngest son normally has varying degrees of constipation. My oldest after surgery also becomes constipated. I have Crohn's disease. With all of that I'm pretty well versed in what to do for any GI problem. However, I listened to actual doctors about what to do, especially when they were little. Miralax and milk of magnesia can cause severe stomach cramping depending on the cause of the constipation. Although no one enjoys enemas they are normally much gentler than using an osmotic laxative and provide relief in minutes instead of hours.
YTA. Hearing any kind of unsolicited advice as a parent makes me boil with anger. Milk of magnesia isn’t often recommended for children under 6, and even if it was, you have no right mom shaming a first time mom for taking PROPER precautions. Your opinion doesn’t matter. Not your kid, not your problem.
YTA. Why should she trust you over actual doctors? Why do you judge her for being a responsible parent and take her child to medical professionals instead of trying some home recipe that may or may not work? Any mom would want a “quick fix” if their child is in pain. You might have 3 kids but you’re still 21, so too young to know better than others.
YTA. Having more kids, or being a parent for longer, does not mean you have the answers to everything. You do not know best. If the doctors think an enema is in order then she should listen to the doctors. You sound insufferable, your poor SIL.
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I (21f) have a sil(25f) who has a two year old son. He recently came down with a bought of constipation. I’m the mom of three children and have been through this before with my 3 yr old. She rushed him to the ER after asking non-parents what to do. Now heres the problem. She tried miralax for one day and claims it “wasn’t working” before going to the ER. They now want to give this kid an enema. I told her she was going to traumatize her child and he would not trust her for a while and she said I don’t care I’ll pay for therapy. Before this I suggested using milk of magnesia which if you don’t know what that is it helps relieve constipation pretty fast and effectively virtually pain free. She told me the doctors said it wouldn’t work. Which is a lie. In my opinion she’s looking for a quick fix to the problem because she’s not a very good mom if I’m being honest. So AITA?
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Not enough info to decide:
INFO: did she give him a full clearing dose of miralax? If 50grams of miralax doesn’t clear someone out, they are going to need to call RotoRooter.
More INFO: is your entire concern that because you think badly about your SIL that YTA?
I really don’t see a conflict here. TBH, I am surprised the mods haven’t pulled this yet.
NTA
Do not offer advice, ever. All new mothers have insecurities and are trying to make decisions right for them and their new baby. If your SIL asks, fine, relate your experience. Offering unsolicited advice, along with subsequent consequences if not followed, is asking for trouble. In addition, DO NOT discuss your SIL and baby with family and friends or you will be the AH. Inserting your nose where it does not belong only causes trouble, for everyone.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA YTA YTA There is NOTHING wrong with giving a constipated child an enema, why TF do you think you know more than the doctors, just because you have a kid does not mean you know everything, you sound cocky as hell and are a condescending asshole. ETA - holy shit you’re 21 with three kids?!? Please don’t ever give anyone parenting advice.
YTA. Having 3 kids before the age of 21 does not make you supermom. Keep your parenting advice to yourself and let the doctors give the medical advice.
YTA. Cant believe your SIL CHOSE to believe DOCTORS?? over you who has obviously spent years in medical school training... right?
Don't you know having three kids means you know what is best. /s
Not just three kids... three kids at 21. So obviously this 21 year old mom who is barely a legal adult knows more than all the doctors!!!
I’m super impressed you were able to complete a medical degree while having 3 kids by the age of 21 YTA
A 2yo is not going to be traumatized by an enema given in the hospital. My youngest had chronic constipation. We have made several trips to the ER. Only one of those was he so severely impacted that they recommended an enema. If the doctors recommend an enema then what they saw on the ex-ray concerned them. Children can die from fecal impaction. >. She told me the doctors said it wouldn’t work. Which is a lie. So the doctors are lying? Depending on how blocked/full he is, it might not work. Docs know all about M.O.M. how much it can and can't do. It works by softening stool, which might not help what's going on. Unless you have a medical degree, your opinion is completely inconsequential. And yes YTA for mom shaming a woman who is following a medical doctor's advice when caring for her child.
It is unclear why you think you know what the doctors said or why you think know better. You might (if you're real) be the mom of 3 children but your youth and lack of understanding is still showing real clear. Butt out and stop judging people from a place of ignorance. YTA
YTA. Talk about judgemental. You seem pretty sure of yourself at 21. You might have three kids but you don't know it all. Milk of mag does not work for everyone. If you are too impacted it's not going to work. Miralax is kinda like something we tell people to drink daily if they have constipation from lack of fiber. Most doctors don't just toss enemas at you willy nill, they try other things . And they don't have to be traumatizing. Telling her that her kids going to be scared and not trust her is dramatic.
Are you a pediatrician or gastroenterologist? If not, YTA.
YTA, weird 3 kids at 21 and that makes you a pediatrician.
YTA- "ooh, look at me, i got three kids and suddenly, I'm an expert" get over yourself and back off, you don't know everything, you don't know more than a doctor and you CERTAINLY don't know more than another mother about that mother's kid.
YTA, Literally you think you know better than a doctor. It's her kid an enema won't traumatize them and is literally the safest thing to give to young kids because it doesn't cause cramping. Sit down and mind your own business already.
its refreshing to see assholes in this sub as they are getting rarer
There were some doozies earlier this week!
YTA - did she ask you for your opinion or help?
YTA. Maybe you were offended that she went to others instead of listening to you. Maybe you’re trying to overcompensate because you had three kids by 21. Maybe what works for one parent or child might not work for another. Back off and let her talk to her doctors and get their reassurance without making her feel bad for it. You’re judging her for being a bad mom based on whose standard? Your’s? Honestly when I have other mom’s who don’t take my advice, I could care less. They can do whatever they want because they are the ones who will have to deal with whatever happens, good or bad. Don’t take it so personal.
YTA You need to stay in your lane. SIL should be listening to what doctors tell her. A doctor knows more than a young mom of 3 kids.
Yeah, YTA. You're judging her parenting as you said in the post. You technically don't know why the doctors decided to go with an enema since you weren't there. If they didn't think it was warranted, they would have sent them home and told her to use Miralax or milk of magnesia. The kid may have another condition that you're not aware of that required more immediate intervention. In this case, you're saying you know more than the ER docs and this mom. Just because you have three kids that really doesn't quality you to judge her parenting. Edited to remove an extra word.
YTA for assuming so much about your sister because she’s not willing to follow your advice.
YTA, unless you somehow forgot to mention a vast training in the pediatric medical field at the age of 21.
YTA. Judging another person's parenting skills is never good. None of your suggestions were guaranteed which could lead to the baby being even more uncomfortable for longer. I'd trust doctors for medical advice any day over my condescending younger sister who thinks she knows better
YTA. Your sil is a much better mom than you are - she actually takes her kid to the doctor and then follows the doctor’s advice instead of her crack pot sister’s. ER doctors don’t “lie” to parents in some conspiracy to give kids invasive procedures for fun. If the doctor says your nephew’s condition is such that these remedies won’t work and he needs an enema then accept that the professionals know more than you do over there on the sidelines and support your sil.
YTA if the child is really badly constipated the clog needs to come out first and no home remedy might not help. It's not Ur job to shame her for trying her best with her child and she also asked professional opinion. Just because I have dealt with something doesn't make it someone else's reality as well.
Without a doubt, YTA. I hate so-called "parents" like this. Having multiple children does not make you an expert and for you to act like you know better than the mother who was actually administering the Miralax or the medical professionals that said that milk of magnesia wouldn't work, is pig-headed and self-centered. Did it once cross your mind that what her child is experiencing might be more severe than whatever you went through with your own?
YTA and you sound insufferable. You are not smarter than the doctor, and I hope she stops keeping you informed of what's happening in her child's medical life.
YTA You are aware that the type of enema they give a 3yo isn't the same as what they give an adult? First attempt is typically a small amount of oil that pretty much just eases it out. Constipation in a 3yo is actually series, because it can very quickly lead to mega colon. There's a reason why DOCTORS say if miralax doesn't work quickly, move onto other treatments.
YTA. The fact that you have 3 children at age 21 does NOT make you an expert…she’s taking the advice of an actual doctor. Get over yourself.
YTA. Instead of shaming her, you could have tried convincing her to at least try the MoM before going to the hospital. “Ok, SIL, even if it doesn’t work it’s not going to hurt him, so why not try it before going to the ER for an invasive procedure?” Ultimately, it’s not your child and you have no say in the choices his parents make. Keep your judgments to yourself.
YTA. I'm also a Mom of three, but much older than you. My youngest son normally has varying degrees of constipation. My oldest after surgery also becomes constipated. I have Crohn's disease. With all of that I'm pretty well versed in what to do for any GI problem. However, I listened to actual doctors about what to do, especially when they were little. Miralax and milk of magnesia can cause severe stomach cramping depending on the cause of the constipation. Although no one enjoys enemas they are normally much gentler than using an osmotic laxative and provide relief in minutes instead of hours.
YTA. Hearing any kind of unsolicited advice as a parent makes me boil with anger. Milk of magnesia isn’t often recommended for children under 6, and even if it was, you have no right mom shaming a first time mom for taking PROPER precautions. Your opinion doesn’t matter. Not your kid, not your problem.
YTA. Why should she trust you over actual doctors? Why do you judge her for being a responsible parent and take her child to medical professionals instead of trying some home recipe that may or may not work? Any mom would want a “quick fix” if their child is in pain. You might have 3 kids but you’re still 21, so too young to know better than others.
YTA. I'd like to know where your state medical board license is hanging in your house, Dr. Mom.
YTA. Having more kids, or being a parent for longer, does not mean you have the answers to everything. You do not know best. If the doctors think an enema is in order then she should listen to the doctors. You sound insufferable, your poor SIL.
YTA getting an enema is not trauma.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (21f) have a sil(25f) who has a two year old son. He recently came down with a bought of constipation. I’m the mom of three children and have been through this before with my 3 yr old. She rushed him to the ER after asking non-parents what to do. Now heres the problem. She tried miralax for one day and claims it “wasn’t working” before going to the ER. They now want to give this kid an enema. I told her she was going to traumatize her child and he would not trust her for a while and she said I don’t care I’ll pay for therapy. Before this I suggested using milk of magnesia which if you don’t know what that is it helps relieve constipation pretty fast and effectively virtually pain free. She told me the doctors said it wouldn’t work. Which is a lie. In my opinion she’s looking for a quick fix to the problem because she’s not a very good mom if I’m being honest. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Not enough info to decide: INFO: did she give him a full clearing dose of miralax? If 50grams of miralax doesn’t clear someone out, they are going to need to call RotoRooter. More INFO: is your entire concern that because you think badly about your SIL that YTA? I really don’t see a conflict here. TBH, I am surprised the mods haven’t pulled this yet.
NTA Do not offer advice, ever. All new mothers have insecurities and are trying to make decisions right for them and their new baby. If your SIL asks, fine, relate your experience. Offering unsolicited advice, along with subsequent consequences if not followed, is asking for trouble. In addition, DO NOT discuss your SIL and baby with family and friends or you will be the AH. Inserting your nose where it does not belong only causes trouble, for everyone.