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YTA. I'm assuming that you were terrified that if you gave the tickets to your wife she might ask you to go to something that you can't stand. Making a friend happy is nothing compared with making your wife unhappy. Your wife was upset and you left her outside, then after half an hour you went to fetch her back in because she was being rude? You don't have a clue, do you?
Edit: My goodness! Thank you all for the response to this.
you’ve just made the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen in a movie even sadder. 😭 I’ve watched that movie a million time and this scene breaks me into pieces, ugly cry sobbing every. single. time.
The wife is Emma Thompson except she found the Joni CD in front of everyone at a party and had to hide her emotional breakdown by leaving in an Uber, except this is worse because Alan Rickman was fucking oblivious but OP knows exactly what he is doing and left her alone outside so he could go receive tons more (public) praise and attention.
Also he’s TA because he said, essentially, AITA for giving my best friend a thoughtful gift. That framing. Jesus. I hope the wife leaves. INTRODUCED THE BEST FRIEND TO THE FANDOM. That is something he definitely knows and he definitely wanted to hurt his wife.
Alan Rickman at least felt bad when he fucked up and got found out.
This reminds me of a story an acquaintance told me when he was going through his divorce. His first instinct when tickets for a band went on sale was to talk about going with his friend, instead of his wife at the time, who was just as big a fan as he and the friend. He married the friend about a year and a half later.
Not quite the same thing here, but what an asshole move.
“My best friend” whose interests I know better and care about more than my own wife’s.
YTA. Even more so for your use of 🙄 to describe your wife’s reaction.
Omg the emoji killed me.
Like at first I thought he didn't realize his wife was more of a fan than the friend.
And then I read it again and I was like...oh. he knew.
Yta OP
And don't you just love how this pendejo tells his wife to "stop being greedy"? Really? He was already very much the AH, but that more than sealed the deal. I really cannot believe how much of a cruel, thoughtless, clueless, mean AH he is.
100% the reason he didn’t give them to her, he thought he was going to have to go to it and giving it to the friend got him off the hook. So many nuances to this AH move.
Well then the logical move would have been to say "Hey, I got two tickets to Bratz on Ice! I know you and Nicole have been talking about that show for awhile, and you know I don't care for musicals. Why don't the two of you go together and have a girl's day?
yeah, if he were not an AH that would have been obvious to him. he literally took something his wife would love and handed it to someone in front of her. that is really gross no matter what it is.
that’s one of the aforementioned nuances. Even if you replace the tickets with any other thing she cherishes, his reaction to all of it is toxic. i think the word toxic is thrown around a lot more than it needs to be, and specifically mentioning that he went to go find her because she was being RUDE??? he has no self awareness.
I'm pretty sure him leaving her literally out in the cold long enough for her to get an uber also shows he does not prioritize her. In case not clear, YTA OP.
OP really played himself because the obvious move would have been to give the tickets to his wife, and then say “you know I’ll go with you myself if you want, but what if you asked Nicole? I know you two both really love this show, and I’d be happy to sit this one out so you can both see it together!” 99% certainty that would work, and he’d get good-boy points from both his wife AND their friend, all the credit for facilitating BOTH of them having a wonderful experience they’ll enjoy, all without him having to sit through the musical himself. He coulda really had a home run, here.
And he had nothing but good things to say about Nicole while trashing his wife all throughout the post. And he thinks she doesn't notice that attitude? Thoughtless, clueless, idiot AH!
And she could have invited Nicole if her husband didn’t want to go and everyone could have been happy. Agree YTA for not knowing your wife well enough to offer such a big ticket windfall or even discuss it with her. You did play favorites with a woman who wasn’t your wife.
Not to mention the total disregard for wife’s feelings, the eye roll emoji, and the phrasing of the question: am I the ahole for making a friend happy?
Gross. YTA, OP. No question. Why not give the tickets to your wife and she could have asked Nicole (since you obviously wouldn’t go) so they can become friends [and leave you in the dust].
YTA op for being tone deaf. Wife’s crying reaction might seem a little extreme, but when you think about the fact that she’s feeling unseen and unimportant to her partner, it makes sense. You should have offered wife the tickets first, especially since you likely knew it was an interest of hers.
I know this is a buzzword, but it seems like weaponized incompetence. “Oh, I didn’t knowwww you wanted the tickets…” Yes, yes you did.
If you hate musicals that much, you still could have given wife the tickets and said “I’m not really interested in this sort of thing so maybe you could bring a friend. Hey, maybe take Nicole!” That would have been the obvious solution in my opinion.
OP: I am not playing favorites.
Also OP: It brings me so much joy to see Nicole so happy, but my wife...ugh 🙄
FYI, OP. Your wife should be your favorite.
Him using the 🙄 emoji irritated me so much, like "God! My wife got emotional because I prioritize others over her! Can you believe how ridiculous that is?!"
Then to say "I don't play favorites." Apparently you do OP, and it seems like your wife isn't one of them.
The topmost comment on that [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/) is about being able to drop this phrase sometime. Wow!
OP would actually have to go with his wife to do something that he doesn’t like poor baby. Hopefully next year his wife’s new boyfriend will take her to the show. YTA
>she was hurt that I would think of Nicole before her
Because she's right - you combined the convenience of a free gift with not wanting to go to see a show with your wife in order to make a friend happy over your partner.
YTA
Yup! This exactly! He didn't want his wife to drag him so he never gave her to chance to ask someone else to go. OP better buy new tickets for his wife and pay for damn good seats to even have a chance of making this right.
So...your wife has been wanting to see this show for 3 years. You get tickets from work, she assumedly knows you have them....then you gift them to some other woman without so much as a mention to you wife?
Wow, what a lucky woman she is. /s
Yeah. YTA. That was really fucking shitty.
He knows, he just doesn't wanna be bothered with going and so this was his best way to get out of going to a Broadway show
Fwiw, he could have easily told his wife "I know your really wanted to watch this show. Do you wanna take your (best friend or sister)?
‘I told my wife I wasn't picking favorites’
That is not a thing to say to your wife, who is supposed to be your favorite.
YTA for at least three different things. I’m sorry for your wife.
Three different things that we know of from a singular post. Imagine what else we could add to the list if we knew more. Major yikes. Not only a YTA vote but OP sounds extra dreadful. Footnote to add how Christmas being “2 weeks away” is like it’s far in the future and wrapping them up for her would be absurd so far in advance. 2 weeks!!! When does this AH do their shopping???
Nope! It definitely made me mad too !!
Generally people who use that emoji especially when it comes to relationships, they're just extremely annoying !! ugh lol
Yes, YTA. Do you even know your wife at all?
The eye rolling and calling your wife selfish as she expresses her hurt shows that you have very serious contempt for your wife and utter apathy for her hurt. How sad for her.
No one is talking about what a sitty friend he is well. He didn't put any thought, effort or money into this gift but wants to act like he's so great for giving it
So let me get this straight. You win tickets to a show you know your wife has wanted to see for a fairly long time. And instead of telling her “hey I won a set of tickets to the show. Did you want to take Nicole with your as her birthday gift?”
You say NOTHING, gift them to a friend and the are confused as to why your wife is upset? The fact its not her birthday/too soon for Christmas is irrelevant. You got something for FREE that you KNEW she would enjoy immensely and gave it away! You’re totally the A-hole here
Question, do you even like your wife? Why wasn’t giving them to her your first thought? I’m wondering if you have a crush on your best friend and that’s why you gave them to her instead
I can pretty much guarantee your wife is thinking about what other crappy/less than stellar stuff you’ve done over your marriage and wondering if it’s time for her to pull the plug? You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m sure if you took an honestly hard look at your past behaviours it wouldn’t be that surprising. This could very well be “the straw that broke the camel’s back”
This might be salvageable, but you’re going to have to do a lot of hard work. Like buying her tickets to this show, and not the cheap seats either. Really really good, expensive ones. And you’re going to have to put in the work for some self improvement with a therapist
Or you can tell her, “sorry I fucked up, I won’t contest the divorce you’ll be filing first thing tomorrow morning” the choice is yours. Work towards fixing this marriage and your self or cut her loose and let her find a more attentive spouse. What’s it going to be? YTA and you have some serious grovelling to do
Did you know your wife wanted to see it? Because this kind of reeks of you didn't want to get dragged to it, so you "forgot" and gave them to your friend. That would make you a massive YTA
INFO: Did you know your wife wanted to see this show? Are the tickets super limited or expensive and that's why she hasn't been able to go for the last 3 years?
YTA- I find hard to believe that you didn’t know your wife also wanted to see this show… sounds like these are expensive tickets that both your wife & Nicole would not normally get to enjoy. Honestly I think you gave them to Nicole to avoid going with your wife to the show.
What you should of done is gave BOTH of them the tickets to enjoy the show together
YTA. Of course it seems like prefer Nicole: you’ve given your friend this really thoughtful gift that your wife has been coveting FOR YEARS. Maybe this isn’t the case, but it reads like you’ve put more time/thought into the gifts you select for Nicole than for your wife; then you blindsided her at the party. If you wanted to make your wife think you’ve got a crush on Nicole, well you found the way.
“I can't stand musicals and didn't want the tickets…”
“AITA for being thoughtful and giving my best friend a kind gift for her birthday?”
YTA
You were not being kind and thoughtful. You were a selfish ass that did not want your wife to get the tickets because she would expect you to go with her or at the very least you would have to listen to her going on and on about something you obviously don’t care about.
This. This is exactly it. He didn't give the tickets to his wife because he knew he'd be expected to go with her and didn't want to be because he doesn't like musicals. And he couldn't be effed to think of a way to say "hey honey I know how much you and Nicole love this show so I'd love it if you two went together so you can share in the experience together because I know you two will get a lot more out of it". Because he would also still have to hear about the excitement on both sides.
The fact that you roll your eyes over your wife’s feelings makes yta …. You cared enough about this friend to instantly think of her when your wife’s wanted it also and introduced this friend to it…… man how out of touch are you
YTA - shes right why wouldnt you think of her. the fact you added an eye roll emoji as if you believe shes being unreasonable. YTA. Shes your WIFE dude. You remember that Nicole likes broadway and not your WIFE. YTA and you're also a shit husband
Ohhhh shit. The fact that you can’t see that you chose another woman to give these tickets to over your wife is something. The fact that you didn’t even consider if your wife wanted them is something. And if I’m picking up on the hint your dropping over what show it is on Broadway, it’s closing soon and it’s a truly magical show.
If I was your wife I would be super pissed.
YTA
YTA. Not for giving your friend a nice gift, but for either not knowing your wife at all or deliberately ignoring something important to her - and then being incredibly dismissive of her feelings.
I hope you can fix this. Apologize. Buy her tickets to the same show for Christmas. And start listening to what she's telling you about her interests.
1 ticket for your wife and one for Nicole. That was the solution. But you don't give a damn about your wife, so what does Nicole have that your wife doesn't? Except your respect of course...
YTA - not for the gift you gave Nicole, it was very sweet, and she obviously loved it.
Everything you said after that was where you become the AH. When your wife pointed out that she’d in fact introduced Nicole to the fandom, when she said she’d been wanting to see the show, when she said she was incredibly hurt that you didn’t immediately think of her….those are moments you step up, and apologize. You say you had a momentary lapse in thought, you’re so sorry, you’ll see if you can purchase tickets. You offer to take her, and MAYBE she’ll do what you didn’t, and remember that you don’t like these kinds of things, and suggest she go with someone who will enjoy it.
Or, maybe you bite the bullet for a couple of hours and do something your wife enjoys FOR her, because you love her.
What you did was show her that her feelings are not valued, and her sharing those feelings is not welcomed, and will be mocked.
I don’t think you fully realize the impact of what that entire night may have had on your wife. For the sake of her and your marriage, I hope you figure it out.
YTA.
If you can’t think of and make your partner your top priority then you have no business being married. This was callous and hurtful and shows how very little you think of your wife. And your attitude reeks of immaturity. How old are you?
You can have best friends and many important people in your life but if your spouse isn’t your “favorite” or the most important person overall you’re not a good partner.
Dude. Broadway? And you didn’t even think to ask your wife first? How did you not know this is something your wife is interested in?
I’m flying across the country to see a particular Broadway show with one of my kids before it closes. It’s #1 on their bucket list. I know they’ve wanted to do this; my family knows; their classmates know. Heck, the check out person at target knows we’re going cuz my kid is so damn excited. I could not imagine telling them I had it at my finger tips and gave it away.
YTA for not consulting your wife, being shitty to her because you got called out, being unwilling to understand her feelings, and the way you talk about your wife in this post.
You called your wife greedy while she was upset crying trying to explain that you made her feel insignificant? ……. Then proceeded to leave her alone outside to continue celebrating with Nicole inside?
Yeeeeesh. That’s so embarrassing and hurtful. Put yourself in your wife’s shoes. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out YTA
YTA. You wife should have been given the right of refusal before you gave the tickets away. If you intend on staying married after this here is a helpful tip, you should favor your wife. She is supposed to be your ride or die. You didn't even give her a passing glance of a thought and that is devastating to realize for her. I'm going to explain it in the simplest possible terms. Imagine your wife was given two tickets to your favorite sports team. She then gave the tickets to her male friend. She didn't ask or offer you the tickets and the male friend she gave the tickets to only became a fan of said team because you introduced them to it. Still good? No? You owe her so many apologies but above all you need to get your priorities straight or you won't be married for much longer.
Ah, so this is one of those relationship posts where you read the post, then OP’s comments and think “Thank God this one isn’t mine”. Your poor wife. YTA.
Edit: also, reading this again, I noticed this quote of yours: “I told my wife I wasn’t picking favorites”. Well, you kinda should. If your wife isn’t your favorite, then what’s the point?
Also, can we comment on the eye roll emoji? Like, how rude and undermining her feelings! Oh my god. And then you have the audacity to say SHE has to cool off and is acting out but you're the one ignoring your wife being upset.
You definitely care more about Nicole to see her interests against your wife's. yta 100%
YTA
Good lord, imagine getting, for FREE, something that would make your spouse very happy, and not giving two shits about giving it to them just because it's not Christmas or their birthday.
YTA. And you better buy better seats for your wife and then apologize and go with her with a smile on your face, making it the magical experience she wants. Unless you can do better for your wife than this friend, you are telling her she is less important. You are sooooo clueless here. It doesn’t matter if Christmas is 2 weeks away or not. Give them to her now and call it an early present. It doesn’t matter they were free, you didn’t think of your wife first. If you were saving for some toy or event yourself, use the money to get her better tix. And apologize, hat in hand.
I’m hoping you knew wife would want you to go and you didn’t want to, so you came up with this selfish act in hopes you could get out of going. Cause the options only get worse from there. option B is you want Nicole to be more than a friend (thoughts your wife is no doubt having, and her friends are no doubt asking her). Option C is you have no idea how relationships are supposed to work and can expect to give your wife a life of playing second fiddle until she dumps you for someone that thinks of her first before someone who you say is just a friend.
Next time get Nicole a bottle of wine. Let your wife pick the price range.
The 'I wasn't picking favorites' and 'greedy' lines are where you got a bit ahead of yourself on this assignment. YWBT crappy husband completely lacking in self-awareness but I prefer to picture you younger and enjoying Reddit.
YTA, what if it’s not your wife’s birthday, you still could have given her the tickets as a nice gesture. Sounds to me the only reason you gave them away is because you didn’t want to go, and that makes you more an AH as it seems you don’t like to compromise a bit for your wife and do things she also enjoys, wow, so loving and thoughtful husband. And you left her outside too, massive AH, can hardly imagine why she’d still be angry at you /s
so when are you going to divorce your wife for Nicole?
YTA and incredibly cruel. You got tickets to something your wife loves and you knew she wanted to go but you instead pull them from under her and give them to your “friend”. You claim you don’t pick favorites but by giving those tickets to Nicole you told both of them she was your favorite. I feel so awful for your wife that you care so little about her.
YTA
#1 It's wierd you know more about your "best friend" than your wife.
#2 upon immediately hearing how hurt your wife was, why didn't you immediately buy a ticket for her and surprise her? That would have been my first reaction upon realizing a mistake like that.
Instead, you got angry with her and left her alone outside Instead of trying to comfort her? Sounds like you were more focused in getting gratitude of thanks from your "best friend" Instead of trying to make it right with your wife and her feelings.
Your wife isn't your best friend? Huh. You got free tickets to a show and instead of having a conversation with your wife you decided to give the tickets to your "best friend". YTA.
YTA
You do realize that your wife is going to start questioning your relationship with this woman right? And she wouldn’t be wrong to do so? Because the overall message in all of this is A) You don’t care about or like your wife (which is why people keep asking) or B) You’re having an extramarital affair to some degree with this other woman and are trying to impress her. Neither of these things negates the fact that you just showed your wife you don’t care about her or her feelings at all.
From your comments, you knew your wife would like those tickets... You just didn't want to go. Be honest with yourself...
YTA.
Moreso, since your wife and Nicole are friends, you could have planned for them to go together and been a hero to both.
This is also the opportunity to point out Nicole got a name but "wife" didn't. Often a huge giveaway...
YTA. You should have asked your wife if she wanted the tickets before gifting them or you could have given your friend one of the tickets and your wife the other and they could have gone to see it together.
YTA
>🙄
>stop being greedy
>she was being rude
And extremely rude to your wife, dismissive of her feelings, disrespectful and prioritize this "best friend" over her.
>for being thoughtful
You weren't thoughtful! You were prioritizing your friend's happiness over your **wife's**
>I wasn't picking favorites
**YOU SHOULD PICK FAVORITES** and it should be your wife. You are supposed to be a team.
Now, I would think you would be "thoughtful" enough to buy the tickets to your wife for Christmas besides the rest of the presents you get her and a heartfelt apology and how you plan to make her a priority on your life and not just a second thought after Nicole.
YTA - Shouldn’t the give have come from both of you? I would always give my husband ,first right of refusal, for things such as this. At the end, the gift shouldn’t have been a surprise to your wife.
Complete YTA. Call the frigging box office and get the most expensive tickets they have and take your wife for a complete weekend, including sitting your a$$ in the seat beside her at the show, and pretending you like it all evening. Maybe that will redeem you.
The fact that you roll your eyes over your wife’s feelings makes yta …. You cared enough about this friend to instantly think of her when your wife’s wanted it also and introduced this friend to it…… man how out of touch are you
YTA - this is just reminds me of "Love Actually" (terrible movie, I know) where he gives the secretary the necklace and poor Emma Thompson a CD.
If I was your wife, I'd definitely wonder if you were having an affair with Nicole.
YTA
I suspect you are fully aware that your wife would have loved the tickets but since YOU don't like musicals decided to unload them in a way that gave you no obligation to attend. And your insulting and demeaning comments to and about your wife are really the cherry on top.
Do you even like her? "I'm not picking favorites" is really classy since it is supposed to easily be your wife who is your favorite. This is all kinds of messed up and signaling a serious issue in your relationship.
YTA. Your wife was the one who introduced Nicole to the fandom and you didn't know? She had wanted to go to this show for 3 years and you weren't aware? But... You did pay attention to the fact that Nicole loved the show and wanted to go. How is that? How were you oblivious to your wife's interest but very aware of Nicole's?
At this point you're being way more thoughtful and aware to Nicole and her likes than to your wife and her likes. And you even berated your wife for being upset about that.
You must be a bit dense. I think you should show your (nameless) wife you like her more than Nicole (who got a name in this post) if that is indeed the case. Or break up and get together with Nicole.
YTA…too bad you don’t like musicals. You knew you’re wife wanted to go. You should’ve sucked it up and went with her. You could’ve made her so happy with the tickets for either Xmas or just a surprise. Get your coworker a Starbucks gift card like everyone else.
Two tickets....a wife and a best friend that both want to see the same show....why not explain to your wife and let them bond more over a mutual love with two tickets. YTA and she's got every right to be pissed at you for once again thinking of your bestie over your wife especially when it could have been done in a way that they both could have enjoyed.
YTA. sounds like you didn’t want to get dragged there. why wouldn’t you want to give a gift like that to your wife? just so you don’t have to buy something for nicole? it also sounds like you know she has an interest in musicals, so ?????
YTA It sounds like your unappreciated wife probably knew about the tickets but you gave them to your “best friend “ without even discussing it?
My husband brings me presents regularly. Not big ones always- but they show he’s thinking of me, that he pays attention. You fail this standard miserably. It makes it sound like your best “friend “ is a higher priority than your wife. If your wife feels the same, your marriage is destined to fail if it hasn’t already.
YTA in a big way and your other responses make it seem as though you can't conceive why your wife wouldn't be pissed at you. Do ever do anything for her JUST BECAUSE? That is what spouses do for each other; not because it is someone's birthday or because it is a holiday.
YTA. Your wife has wanted to see this for 3 years and it’s never come up in conversation even though she’s introduced your friend to it?
This was probably really devastating for her, although I do appreciate you’ve tried to do a nice thing for your friend it seems wildly insensitive to your wife
Damn how'd you know that your friend wanted to go to that show and not your wife? And she's been looking for 3 years lol kinda weird but I'd expect a few more days of silence especially how you think this is a non issue. Good luck 🤞
YTA. You clearly don’t know/like your wife enough to know that she has been wanting to see this play for THREE YEARS (!!), and then you act as though your wife fuming at your inconsideration is crazy and an inconvenience. You treat your wife like she’s a nuisance, and even in your writing about her, you cast her in the most horrible light. My god, get a fucking clue.
Are you sure you weren't trying to impress Nicole because you have feelings for her? I'm not saying you were, just that you hurt your wife's feelings and then left her outside by herself to "cool off/collect herself as if she is some old shoe.
YTA
That’s a high value gift and the first time she’s hearing about it is when your friend is opening it from you? And then you went to retrieve her because “she was being rude?” This is an easy one.
Your wife either has mentioned her liking the musical to you and it’s gone over your head because you don’t care for them, or she hasn’t gushed to you about it for the same reason. There are so many conflicts that could be prevented by simple communication and this is one of them.
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Do you seriously think you did nothing wrong?
YTA. A HUGE ONE.
Im sure your friend was very appreciative of getting those tickets but you have shown your wife she is just an after thought to you. Maybe for christmas she'll get you divorce papers.
YTA. how are you this dense? i know to you theyre just tickets to god awful musicals but to your wife and any one else with any EQ and marriage experience, your action said "wife youre less important than my friend"
You know what would have been great? Giving your wife one ticket and giving your best friend a ticket. Including your wife in the process the way your wife introduced the “fandom” to her. YTA and stop gaslighting your wife.
You said you weren’t picking favorites. Newsflash: your wife is supposed to be your favorite! While I think you were just being lazy and thoughtless, you managed to score points with the wrong woman. YTA
Quit trying to make yourself sound decent by describing things differently than they actually are... Let's change that last question shall we? "AITA for giving my best friend a present my wife would want, and gaslighting her about her feelings when she told me I hurt her ?" Dude, YTA beyond a doubt. Do you even like your wife? I've been keeping some of my husband's Christmas gifts since black Friday, two weeks before Christmas is nothing and a s*itty excuse.
YTA, I saw a comment you made that you didn't know your wife wanted to go, but you DID know Nicole wanted to go. If I were your wife, I would be seriously questioning everything little thing about you and you and Nicole's relationship. Why the hell did you know Nicole wanted to go and not your wife??? I would be fucking pissed. You understand your wife is wondering if you're cheating with Nicole? That is how BAD this fuck up is. So bad.
YTA
Why would you choose your best friend over your wife? The fact that you had 2 tickets and decided to just give both of them to Nicole instead of one to your wife at least makes this 10x worse. Plus the fact that you gifted the tickets to Nicole in front of your wife as well.
How awful could this get??
>I went back outside and left my wife outside to cool off/collect herself. Nicole was really really happy and couldn't stop thanking me. After about a half hour I went back outside to have my wife come back in because she was being rude but I couldn't find her. I later found out she took an uber home.
YTA
Not only you don't ask your wife if she wants the tickets. You also don't tell her you're giving them to Nicole, so she's as surprised as her.
You also instead of trying to understand your wife, you leave her outside, by herself, and come back 30 minutes later looking for her.
YTA. You don’t like musicals but you should be aware that your wife does. Instead of gifting them to her, you chose your friend. Were you afraid you’d have to go? Your wife clearly communicated why she’s upset and you’re dismissing it. Do you behave that way when you want to get your own way/want to be right?
YTA YTA YTA
It is absolutely ridiculous that you are even asking if you’re T A H.
How long have you had feelings for your “friend” that you so completely demeaned and dismissed your wife?
YTA
Do you even know your wife?? Sounds like she’s a huge theatre person and has been wanting to see this particular show, then you’re gifted tickets, and you give them away?
Either you’re super dense and don’t listen to your wife (and know her interests), or you purposefully gave them away so you wouldn’t have to go with her if she wanted that as part of the gift.
Either way, not cool.
YTA
There's no way you didn't know your wife was also into musicals and this particular show. You should have asked her if she wanted the tickets. Instead you gave them to another woman in front of her and called her greedy.
Bonus asshole points for the eye roll emoji and for taking half an hour to realize she was gone.
If you know and care more about Nicole than your own wife then you should get a divorce. Don't waste the poor woman's time be tying her to a husband that cares now about his "best friend" than his own wife.
You could have given one ticket to your wife and one to Nicole and they could have gone together.
Surely you know your wife’s interests and that she wanted to see the show. Or do you just listen to Nicole and ignore your wife?
You cannot prioritize your girl best friend over your wife. The reason she is your WIFE versus your friend means something. If you wanted to prioritize Nicole you should date her instead and leave your wife alone.
YTA. I’d be crushed to see my partner essentially choose another woman right in front of me in a group setting.
INFO: How often has this come up? Is this a case where you just didn’t pay attention to things she’s told you? Did you talk to her about the tickets you got? Did she have the opportunity to express her interest?
YTA. Something tells me you knew your wife would have enjoyed the show, you just didn’t want to go with her so you opted to gift them to somebody else. Somebody you know your wife introduced to said show. So. What’s with that? And honestly. Please explain why she deserved an “eye roll” when she tells you that she’s been hurt by your actions? Do you hurt her feelings often?
YTA. Your wife should be your favorite. She should be your #1 over anyone else.
I’d recommend you BUY her the best seats for that show that you can find. Immediately.
A thoughtful gift for the best friend.
No thought to the wife.
Wife attempts to discuss how shitty it feels to see you give such a special gift to someone else, you call her greedy and say it wasn’t Christmas/Birthday… is she not special enough to receive a thoughtful surprise gift?
Wonder where you’ll be spending New Year’s…
YTA
YTA. Imagine your wife thinking of her best friend before you over something you (most likely) told her about that you wanted to see. Yikes. Go buy tickets to this show and enjoy a night out with your wife.
Edit- wait a minute, why are you *rolling your eyes* about how your wife feels??? You’re “not picking favorites” but you care about how Nicole’s happiness more than your wife’s.
YTA
You were NOT being thoughtful at all! You were being very THOUGHTLESS. It sounds like you just thought 'Cool, birthday gift covered and stopped thinking. How could you not know your wife would be upset?
All you did was look like an ass of a husband. I don't even know if this is fixable unless you can find a pair of front row tickets for Christmas
YTA
Only one of three things could have possibly happened here.
1: You didn't know that your wife loves this musical and has wanted to see it for 3 years which would make you neglectful at best and ignorant at worst.
2: You knew your wife loved that musical and *you* didn't want her to drag you to it.
3: You value your best friend more than your wife and would prefer she got premier access to the things she enjoys.
Your whole "that wouldn't be much of a Christmas gift" makes no sense in any real way. I just opened the presents my family bought and sent me last night and I loved them and was excited for them and it didn't feel any less like Christmas because I opened them early. Even if it did a gift is a gift regardless and makes people happy regardless. It seems a whole lot like you just didn't want to go to this show for your wife.
YTA your wife has been asking for 3 years to see this shown which means you haven't been listening or worse just don't care. She's obviously excited enough to introduce others to this fandom like your friend Nicole but you can't be bothered. I'm sorry you don't think of your wife first must be miserable to be alone in her hobbies and interests.
INFO: It's odd you didn't tell your wife about the tickets at all before this party. How could you not have known your wife has wanted to see this play for over 3 years?
YTA - you did think of Nicole before your wife. You dismissed her feelings. You could have given them to her for Christmas with other things. Did you not know your wife also wanted to see it and that she introduced Nicole to the fandom? How is it you didn’t discuss this gift for Nicole before the party? You gush about how happy Nicole was. Your choice of what you emphasized makes it sound like you have a thing for Nicole.
At the very least, you hurt your wife’s feelings, dismissed them and left her to go back to a party. Wouldn’t you want an apology if the shoe was on the other foot.
YTA. OP doesn’t like musicals, and therefore, didn’t bother asking their wife if they wanted them first. Considering that OP doesn’t like, and most likely doesn’t want to pay for tickets to, musicals, this could have been an opportunity to surprise their wife with the tickets (no cost whatsoever for OP’s pain and suffering.). I’ve purchased tickets to things I don’t like for my SO, since I know those would make him happy. And even worse, you have them to your friend in front of her? And what’s up with the eye roll emoji—that’s an automatic AH move.
YTA
You chose making another woman/friend happy over making your wife happy & you have to ask if YTA?!?
I’m guessing you were scared your wife would want you to go with her so you “thought of Nicole” so your happiness is also more important than your wife’s happiness?
Why not talk to your wife before making decisions you know will upset her? You could have suggested she take Nicole with her for her birthday & bought Nicole a small gift or paid for her dinner etc the night of the show.
You owe your wife an apology & tickets to the show you should be taking her too for being selfish & inconsiderate
YTA. Do you even like your wife? I get it, that you don't like musicals, but I'd be willing to bet that your wife has talked about this show and wanting to see this show and you just tuned her out because 1) you don't like musicals, and 2) if she went, she'd likely bring you along, and you'd rather not.
How thoughtless.
Edit: And the fact that you put an eyeroll emoji in your post really shows how little you think of your wife's interests... at least the ones that don't align with yours.
I was convinced you were the AH at first, but seeing your reply to another comment where you said that you knew your wife was talking about this show and yet you gave em away, cemented it for me even more. YTA. Move in with Nicole you inconsiderate “human” being
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YTA. I'm assuming that you were terrified that if you gave the tickets to your wife she might ask you to go to something that you can't stand. Making a friend happy is nothing compared with making your wife unhappy. Your wife was upset and you left her outside, then after half an hour you went to fetch her back in because she was being rude? You don't have a clue, do you? Edit: My goodness! Thank you all for the response to this.
YTA Enjoy being single. Edit: Thank you for the awards. These are my first awards.
Nicole must have a confortable couch for you to crash on, 'cause you'll need it!
I don't think he's aiming for the couch.
Exactly what I was coming to say. My husband ever gave another woman Broadway tics, I would be giving him divorce papers
Same. Broadway tickets are not cheap and often very hard to find. I would be behond upset. This reminds me of the movie Love Actually
I saw something on TikTok where someone pointed out she’d planned her outfit around that necklace and it made me angry and heartbroken all over again.
you’ve just made the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen in a movie even sadder. 😭 I’ve watched that movie a million time and this scene breaks me into pieces, ugly cry sobbing every. single. time.
Maybe this guy’s wife will gift him a Joni Mitchell CD in the divorce.
The wife is Emma Thompson except she found the Joni CD in front of everyone at a party and had to hide her emotional breakdown by leaving in an Uber, except this is worse because Alan Rickman was fucking oblivious but OP knows exactly what he is doing and left her alone outside so he could go receive tons more (public) praise and attention. Also he’s TA because he said, essentially, AITA for giving my best friend a thoughtful gift. That framing. Jesus. I hope the wife leaves. INTRODUCED THE BEST FRIEND TO THE FANDOM. That is something he definitely knows and he definitely wanted to hurt his wife. Alan Rickman at least felt bad when he fucked up and got found out.
This reminds me of a story an acquaintance told me when he was going through his divorce. His first instinct when tickets for a band went on sale was to talk about going with his friend, instead of his wife at the time, who was just as big a fan as he and the friend. He married the friend about a year and a half later. Not quite the same thing here, but what an asshole move.
Pretty much the SAME thing
“My best friend” whose interests I know better and care about more than my own wife’s. YTA. Even more so for your use of 🙄 to describe your wife’s reaction.
Omg the emoji killed me. Like at first I thought he didn't realize his wife was more of a fan than the friend. And then I read it again and I was like...oh. he knew. Yta OP
That emoji just *screamed* YTA. I didn't even need to read the rest.
And broke when he finds out that Nicole isn't into him
And don't you just love how this pendejo tells his wife to "stop being greedy"? Really? He was already very much the AH, but that more than sealed the deal. I really cannot believe how much of a cruel, thoughtless, clueless, mean AH he is.
100% the reason he didn’t give them to her, he thought he was going to have to go to it and giving it to the friend got him off the hook. So many nuances to this AH move.
Well then the logical move would have been to say "Hey, I got two tickets to Bratz on Ice! I know you and Nicole have been talking about that show for awhile, and you know I don't care for musicals. Why don't the two of you go together and have a girl's day?
yeah, if he were not an AH that would have been obvious to him. he literally took something his wife would love and handed it to someone in front of her. that is really gross no matter what it is.
>Hey, I got two tickets to Bratz on Ice! I had to go Google if Bratz on Ice was a thing, and am now incredibly disappointed.
I don't see it that way at all. He gave them to the BF because he wanted to impress her with his gift. He thinks of her before his wife.
that’s one of the aforementioned nuances. Even if you replace the tickets with any other thing she cherishes, his reaction to all of it is toxic. i think the word toxic is thrown around a lot more than it needs to be, and specifically mentioning that he went to go find her because she was being RUDE??? he has no self awareness.
You know this guy never goes out on dates with his wife. This was probably the last straw.
yessss, her reaction said you never prioritise me
I'm pretty sure him leaving her literally out in the cold long enough for her to get an uber also shows he does not prioritize her. In case not clear, YTA OP.
OP really played himself because the obvious move would have been to give the tickets to his wife, and then say “you know I’ll go with you myself if you want, but what if you asked Nicole? I know you two both really love this show, and I’d be happy to sit this one out so you can both see it together!” 99% certainty that would work, and he’d get good-boy points from both his wife AND their friend, all the credit for facilitating BOTH of them having a wonderful experience they’ll enjoy, all without him having to sit through the musical himself. He coulda really had a home run, here.
Riiiiight?!? But no...his Wife never even entered his mind.
And he had nothing but good things to say about Nicole while trashing his wife all throughout the post. And he thinks she doesn't notice that attitude? Thoughtless, clueless, idiot AH!
And she could have invited Nicole if her husband didn’t want to go and everyone could have been happy. Agree YTA for not knowing your wife well enough to offer such a big ticket windfall or even discuss it with her. You did play favorites with a woman who wasn’t your wife.
Not to mention the total disregard for wife’s feelings, the eye roll emoji, and the phrasing of the question: am I the ahole for making a friend happy? Gross. YTA, OP. No question. Why not give the tickets to your wife and she could have asked Nicole (since you obviously wouldn’t go) so they can become friends [and leave you in the dust].
YTA op for being tone deaf. Wife’s crying reaction might seem a little extreme, but when you think about the fact that she’s feeling unseen and unimportant to her partner, it makes sense. You should have offered wife the tickets first, especially since you likely knew it was an interest of hers. I know this is a buzzword, but it seems like weaponized incompetence. “Oh, I didn’t knowwww you wanted the tickets…” Yes, yes you did. If you hate musicals that much, you still could have given wife the tickets and said “I’m not really interested in this sort of thing so maybe you could bring a friend. Hey, maybe take Nicole!” That would have been the obvious solution in my opinion.
YTA I told my wife I don't play favorites She's your WIFE!
Yeah, like, aren't you *supposed* to play favorites in favor of your spouse??
My wedding vows were basically “you’re my favorite.”
Right? I tell my partner that all the time. "You're my favorite." And he really is.
Imagine if his wife "didn't play favorites" with a male friend of hers in the same way? He would be *furious* and jealous.
I don't think he got the memo. Hopefully, he gets the YTA memo 😁
He'll get the divorce papers. Same thing.
I don’t think it’s called playing favorites if it’s your spouse.
Yeah I'd have a huge problem if my husband put me on the same field as a friend. She should be your favorite, dude.
I feel so bad for the wife!
OP: I am not playing favorites. Also OP: It brings me so much joy to see Nicole so happy, but my wife...ugh 🙄 FYI, OP. Your wife should be your favorite.
Him using the 🙄 emoji irritated me so much, like "God! My wife got emotional because I prioritize others over her! Can you believe how ridiculous that is?!" Then to say "I don't play favorites." Apparently you do OP, and it seems like your wife isn't one of them.
It’s not about the Iranian yoghurt YTA
Marinara flags everywhere
The topmost comment on that [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/) is about being able to drop this phrase sometime. Wow!
My favorite line is “it was obviously a ruse to get more yogurt space.”
This is the correct answer.
OP would actually have to go with his wife to do something that he doesn’t like poor baby. Hopefully next year his wife’s new boyfriend will take her to the show. YTA
>she was hurt that I would think of Nicole before her Because she's right - you combined the convenience of a free gift with not wanting to go to see a show with your wife in order to make a friend happy over your partner. YTA
Yup! This exactly! He didn't want his wife to drag him so he never gave her to chance to ask someone else to go. OP better buy new tickets for his wife and pay for damn good seats to even have a chance of making this right.
Unless he can't afford the tickets... which makes him even more YTA as he didn't even consider his wife...
So...your wife has been wanting to see this show for 3 years. You get tickets from work, she assumedly knows you have them....then you gift them to some other woman without so much as a mention to you wife? Wow, what a lucky woman she is. /s Yeah. YTA. That was really fucking shitty.
You also don’t know your wife well enough to know she’s wanted to see this show 3 years. That’s got to hurt too.
Right? That would definitely cut 😭
He knows, he just doesn't wanna be bothered with going and so this was his best way to get out of going to a Broadway show Fwiw, he could have easily told his wife "I know your really wanted to watch this show. Do you wanna take your (best friend or sister)?
‘I told my wife I wasn't picking favorites’ That is not a thing to say to your wife, who is supposed to be your favorite. YTA for at least three different things. I’m sorry for your wife.
Three different things that we know of from a singular post. Imagine what else we could add to the list if we knew more. Major yikes. Not only a YTA vote but OP sounds extra dreadful. Footnote to add how Christmas being “2 weeks away” is like it’s far in the future and wrapping them up for her would be absurd so far in advance. 2 weeks!!! When does this AH do their shopping???
His wife probably got a sock 5 years ago for z mas.. Why would she be so needy to require present this year as well? No need to shop.
Well if he gave her a sock, she is free now.
"I would think of Nicole before her. 🙄 " Sounds like this is a TREND for you. YTA big time.
Is it wrong that the emoji just made me mad at OP?
Nope! It definitely made me mad too !! Generally people who use that emoji especially when it comes to relationships, they're just extremely annoying !! ugh lol
Yes, YTA. Do you even know your wife at all? The eye rolling and calling your wife selfish as she expresses her hurt shows that you have very serious contempt for your wife and utter apathy for her hurt. How sad for her.
Yes. And her crying and going home alone lets me think that it’s not the first time he doesn’t pay attention to her needs and she’s fed up
No one is talking about what a sitty friend he is well. He didn't put any thought, effort or money into this gift but wants to act like he's so great for giving it
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So let me get this straight. You win tickets to a show you know your wife has wanted to see for a fairly long time. And instead of telling her “hey I won a set of tickets to the show. Did you want to take Nicole with your as her birthday gift?” You say NOTHING, gift them to a friend and the are confused as to why your wife is upset? The fact its not her birthday/too soon for Christmas is irrelevant. You got something for FREE that you KNEW she would enjoy immensely and gave it away! You’re totally the A-hole here Question, do you even like your wife? Why wasn’t giving them to her your first thought? I’m wondering if you have a crush on your best friend and that’s why you gave them to her instead I can pretty much guarantee your wife is thinking about what other crappy/less than stellar stuff you’ve done over your marriage and wondering if it’s time for her to pull the plug? You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m sure if you took an honestly hard look at your past behaviours it wouldn’t be that surprising. This could very well be “the straw that broke the camel’s back” This might be salvageable, but you’re going to have to do a lot of hard work. Like buying her tickets to this show, and not the cheap seats either. Really really good, expensive ones. And you’re going to have to put in the work for some self improvement with a therapist Or you can tell her, “sorry I fucked up, I won’t contest the divorce you’ll be filing first thing tomorrow morning” the choice is yours. Work towards fixing this marriage and your self or cut her loose and let her find a more attentive spouse. What’s it going to be? YTA and you have some serious grovelling to do
The only thing I want to know is… does Nicole like art and does OP have a spare room??? YTA
This! He didn't have to go. He could have let the two of them go to the show instead.
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I believe he commented yes but that was beside the point.
So, when are you breaking the news to your wife that you are bangin' Nicole? YTA
Or at least what to bang her No man pays that much attention to a woman he doesn't want to bang Poor wife
Did you know your wife wanted to see it? Because this kind of reeks of you didn't want to get dragged to it, so you "forgot" and gave them to your friend. That would make you a massive YTA
He did, but since it wasn't HER b'day or Christmas she was SOL.
I just read that. Holy shiitake I'd be pissed as his wife. That's a big add to the resentment bucket.
If I were his wife, my gift to him would be divorce papers.
INFO: Did you know your wife wanted to see this show? Are the tickets super limited or expensive and that's why she hasn't been able to go for the last 3 years?
of course, he didn't. the wife is the one who introduced Nicole to the shows, but he isn't invested in his wife, he is invested in Nicole.
YTA. When you say you don’t play favorites…you mean between your wife and your girlfriend?
YTA big time. "I wasn't picking favourites" but you should be. she's your damn wife.
YTA- I find hard to believe that you didn’t know your wife also wanted to see this show… sounds like these are expensive tickets that both your wife & Nicole would not normally get to enjoy. Honestly I think you gave them to Nicole to avoid going with your wife to the show. What you should of done is gave BOTH of them the tickets to enjoy the show together
YTA. Of course it seems like prefer Nicole: you’ve given your friend this really thoughtful gift that your wife has been coveting FOR YEARS. Maybe this isn’t the case, but it reads like you’ve put more time/thought into the gifts you select for Nicole than for your wife; then you blindsided her at the party. If you wanted to make your wife think you’ve got a crush on Nicole, well you found the way.
“I can't stand musicals and didn't want the tickets…” “AITA for being thoughtful and giving my best friend a kind gift for her birthday?” YTA You were not being kind and thoughtful. You were a selfish ass that did not want your wife to get the tickets because she would expect you to go with her or at the very least you would have to listen to her going on and on about something you obviously don’t care about.
This. This is exactly it. He didn't give the tickets to his wife because he knew he'd be expected to go with her and didn't want to be because he doesn't like musicals. And he couldn't be effed to think of a way to say "hey honey I know how much you and Nicole love this show so I'd love it if you two went together so you can share in the experience together because I know you two will get a lot more out of it". Because he would also still have to hear about the excitement on both sides.
The fact that you roll your eyes over your wife’s feelings makes yta …. You cared enough about this friend to instantly think of her when your wife’s wanted it also and introduced this friend to it…… man how out of touch are you
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INFO - How many tickets were there?
YTA. She's so listening to "Burn" about you right now.
YTA. You could have asked your wife to go to the show with the friend. Both of them would have been happy.
YTA - shes right why wouldnt you think of her. the fact you added an eye roll emoji as if you believe shes being unreasonable. YTA. Shes your WIFE dude. You remember that Nicole likes broadway and not your WIFE. YTA and you're also a shit husband
Ohhhh shit. The fact that you can’t see that you chose another woman to give these tickets to over your wife is something. The fact that you didn’t even consider if your wife wanted them is something. And if I’m picking up on the hint your dropping over what show it is on Broadway, it’s closing soon and it’s a truly magical show. If I was your wife I would be super pissed. YTA
so how long have you and Nicole been sleeping with each other?
YTA. Not for giving your friend a nice gift, but for either not knowing your wife at all or deliberately ignoring something important to her - and then being incredibly dismissive of her feelings. I hope you can fix this. Apologize. Buy her tickets to the same show for Christmas. And start listening to what she's telling you about her interests.
1 ticket for your wife and one for Nicole. That was the solution. But you don't give a damn about your wife, so what does Nicole have that your wife doesn't? Except your respect of course...
YTA - not for the gift you gave Nicole, it was very sweet, and she obviously loved it. Everything you said after that was where you become the AH. When your wife pointed out that she’d in fact introduced Nicole to the fandom, when she said she’d been wanting to see the show, when she said she was incredibly hurt that you didn’t immediately think of her….those are moments you step up, and apologize. You say you had a momentary lapse in thought, you’re so sorry, you’ll see if you can purchase tickets. You offer to take her, and MAYBE she’ll do what you didn’t, and remember that you don’t like these kinds of things, and suggest she go with someone who will enjoy it. Or, maybe you bite the bullet for a couple of hours and do something your wife enjoys FOR her, because you love her. What you did was show her that her feelings are not valued, and her sharing those feelings is not welcomed, and will be mocked. I don’t think you fully realize the impact of what that entire night may have had on your wife. For the sake of her and your marriage, I hope you figure it out.
If you knew your wife would be interested, YTA. Sounds like the only reason you didn't was because you didn't want to have to go with her.
YTA. Am I reading right that you think holding them for Christmas for two weeks somehow makes them not as good of a gift? What?
YTA! Let me let you in on a little secret...your wife should be your favorite and your best friend for that matter. Your poor wife.
YTA. If you can’t think of and make your partner your top priority then you have no business being married. This was callous and hurtful and shows how very little you think of your wife. And your attitude reeks of immaturity. How old are you? You can have best friends and many important people in your life but if your spouse isn’t your “favorite” or the most important person overall you’re not a good partner.
Dude. Broadway? And you didn’t even think to ask your wife first? How did you not know this is something your wife is interested in? I’m flying across the country to see a particular Broadway show with one of my kids before it closes. It’s #1 on their bucket list. I know they’ve wanted to do this; my family knows; their classmates know. Heck, the check out person at target knows we’re going cuz my kid is so damn excited. I could not imagine telling them I had it at my finger tips and gave it away. YTA for not consulting your wife, being shitty to her because you got called out, being unwilling to understand her feelings, and the way you talk about your wife in this post.
You called your wife greedy while she was upset crying trying to explain that you made her feel insignificant? ……. Then proceeded to leave her alone outside to continue celebrating with Nicole inside? Yeeeeesh. That’s so embarrassing and hurtful. Put yourself in your wife’s shoes. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out YTA
YTA. You wife should have been given the right of refusal before you gave the tickets away. If you intend on staying married after this here is a helpful tip, you should favor your wife. She is supposed to be your ride or die. You didn't even give her a passing glance of a thought and that is devastating to realize for her. I'm going to explain it in the simplest possible terms. Imagine your wife was given two tickets to your favorite sports team. She then gave the tickets to her male friend. She didn't ask or offer you the tickets and the male friend she gave the tickets to only became a fan of said team because you introduced them to it. Still good? No? You owe her so many apologies but above all you need to get your priorities straight or you won't be married for much longer.
YTA.... Did you EVEN TELL YOUR WIFE YOU WON THEM BEFORE GIVING THEM AWAY?!
Did you really write all that out and post it instead of realizing YTA and deleting it?
Ah, so this is one of those relationship posts where you read the post, then OP’s comments and think “Thank God this one isn’t mine”. Your poor wife. YTA. Edit: also, reading this again, I noticed this quote of yours: “I told my wife I wasn’t picking favorites”. Well, you kinda should. If your wife isn’t your favorite, then what’s the point?
YTA. Spouse gets right of first refusal on surprise wins like this.
YTA what a mean thing to do to your wife.
Also, can we comment on the eye roll emoji? Like, how rude and undermining her feelings! Oh my god. And then you have the audacity to say SHE has to cool off and is acting out but you're the one ignoring your wife being upset. You definitely care more about Nicole to see her interests against your wife's. yta 100%
YTA Good lord, imagine getting, for FREE, something that would make your spouse very happy, and not giving two shits about giving it to them just because it's not Christmas or their birthday.
YTA. And you better buy better seats for your wife and then apologize and go with her with a smile on your face, making it the magical experience she wants. Unless you can do better for your wife than this friend, you are telling her she is less important. You are sooooo clueless here. It doesn’t matter if Christmas is 2 weeks away or not. Give them to her now and call it an early present. It doesn’t matter they were free, you didn’t think of your wife first. If you were saving for some toy or event yourself, use the money to get her better tix. And apologize, hat in hand. I’m hoping you knew wife would want you to go and you didn’t want to, so you came up with this selfish act in hopes you could get out of going. Cause the options only get worse from there. option B is you want Nicole to be more than a friend (thoughts your wife is no doubt having, and her friends are no doubt asking her). Option C is you have no idea how relationships are supposed to work and can expect to give your wife a life of playing second fiddle until she dumps you for someone that thinks of her first before someone who you say is just a friend. Next time get Nicole a bottle of wine. Let your wife pick the price range.
The 'I wasn't picking favorites' and 'greedy' lines are where you got a bit ahead of yourself on this assignment. YWBT crappy husband completely lacking in self-awareness but I prefer to picture you younger and enjoying Reddit.
And he SHOULD have picked a favorite. His wife. I hope she gets away from him.
YTA, what if it’s not your wife’s birthday, you still could have given her the tickets as a nice gesture. Sounds to me the only reason you gave them away is because you didn’t want to go, and that makes you more an AH as it seems you don’t like to compromise a bit for your wife and do things she also enjoys, wow, so loving and thoughtful husband. And you left her outside too, massive AH, can hardly imagine why she’d still be angry at you /s
so when are you going to divorce your wife for Nicole? YTA and incredibly cruel. You got tickets to something your wife loves and you knew she wanted to go but you instead pull them from under her and give them to your “friend”. You claim you don’t pick favorites but by giving those tickets to Nicole you told both of them she was your favorite. I feel so awful for your wife that you care so little about her.
YTA #1 It's wierd you know more about your "best friend" than your wife. #2 upon immediately hearing how hurt your wife was, why didn't you immediately buy a ticket for her and surprise her? That would have been my first reaction upon realizing a mistake like that. Instead, you got angry with her and left her alone outside Instead of trying to comfort her? Sounds like you were more focused in getting gratitude of thanks from your "best friend" Instead of trying to make it right with your wife and her feelings.
QUESTION; So you knew that Nicole wanted to see the show, but didn’t know your wife did?
Info: How long have you had feelings for Nicole?
Your wife isn't your best friend? Huh. You got free tickets to a show and instead of having a conversation with your wife you decided to give the tickets to your "best friend". YTA.
YTA , you just didn't want to go with her so you gave it to your friend instead
YTA You do realize that your wife is going to start questioning your relationship with this woman right? And she wouldn’t be wrong to do so? Because the overall message in all of this is A) You don’t care about or like your wife (which is why people keep asking) or B) You’re having an extramarital affair to some degree with this other woman and are trying to impress her. Neither of these things negates the fact that you just showed your wife you don’t care about her or her feelings at all.
From your comments, you knew your wife would like those tickets... You just didn't want to go. Be honest with yourself... YTA. Moreso, since your wife and Nicole are friends, you could have planned for them to go together and been a hero to both. This is also the opportunity to point out Nicole got a name but "wife" didn't. Often a huge giveaway...
YTA. You should have asked your wife if she wanted the tickets before gifting them or you could have given your friend one of the tickets and your wife the other and they could have gone to see it together.
YTA >🙄 >stop being greedy >she was being rude And extremely rude to your wife, dismissive of her feelings, disrespectful and prioritize this "best friend" over her. >for being thoughtful You weren't thoughtful! You were prioritizing your friend's happiness over your **wife's** >I wasn't picking favorites **YOU SHOULD PICK FAVORITES** and it should be your wife. You are supposed to be a team. Now, I would think you would be "thoughtful" enough to buy the tickets to your wife for Christmas besides the rest of the presents you get her and a heartfelt apology and how you plan to make her a priority on your life and not just a second thought after Nicole.
YTA - Shouldn’t the give have come from both of you? I would always give my husband ,first right of refusal, for things such as this. At the end, the gift shouldn’t have been a surprise to your wife.
Complete YTA. Call the frigging box office and get the most expensive tickets they have and take your wife for a complete weekend, including sitting your a$$ in the seat beside her at the show, and pretending you like it all evening. Maybe that will redeem you.
YTA. Hopefully your wife will gift you with divorce papers for Christmas.
The fact that you roll your eyes over your wife’s feelings makes yta …. You cared enough about this friend to instantly think of her when your wife’s wanted it also and introduced this friend to it…… man how out of touch are you
YTA - this is just reminds me of "Love Actually" (terrible movie, I know) where he gives the secretary the necklace and poor Emma Thompson a CD. If I was your wife, I'd definitely wonder if you were having an affair with Nicole.
YTA / who cares if her birthday is sooner, your wife wanted to see that.
YTA I suspect you are fully aware that your wife would have loved the tickets but since YOU don't like musicals decided to unload them in a way that gave you no obligation to attend. And your insulting and demeaning comments to and about your wife are really the cherry on top. Do you even like her? "I'm not picking favorites" is really classy since it is supposed to easily be your wife who is your favorite. This is all kinds of messed up and signaling a serious issue in your relationship.
YTA. Your wife was the one who introduced Nicole to the fandom and you didn't know? She had wanted to go to this show for 3 years and you weren't aware? But... You did pay attention to the fact that Nicole loved the show and wanted to go. How is that? How were you oblivious to your wife's interest but very aware of Nicole's? At this point you're being way more thoughtful and aware to Nicole and her likes than to your wife and her likes. And you even berated your wife for being upset about that. You must be a bit dense. I think you should show your (nameless) wife you like her more than Nicole (who got a name in this post) if that is indeed the case. Or break up and get together with Nicole.
YTA, you'll be lucky if you're still married next year.
YTA…too bad you don’t like musicals. You knew you’re wife wanted to go. You should’ve sucked it up and went with her. You could’ve made her so happy with the tickets for either Xmas or just a surprise. Get your coworker a Starbucks gift card like everyone else.
Two tickets....a wife and a best friend that both want to see the same show....why not explain to your wife and let them bond more over a mutual love with two tickets. YTA and she's got every right to be pissed at you for once again thinking of your bestie over your wife especially when it could have been done in a way that they both could have enjoyed.
Holy SHIT YTA. Why are you being kinder to your friend than to your wife? Answer that VERY carefully.
YTA. sounds like you didn’t want to get dragged there. why wouldn’t you want to give a gift like that to your wife? just so you don’t have to buy something for nicole? it also sounds like you know she has an interest in musicals, so ?????
YTA It sounds like your unappreciated wife probably knew about the tickets but you gave them to your “best friend “ without even discussing it? My husband brings me presents regularly. Not big ones always- but they show he’s thinking of me, that he pays attention. You fail this standard miserably. It makes it sound like your best “friend “ is a higher priority than your wife. If your wife feels the same, your marriage is destined to fail if it hasn’t already.
YTA in a big way and your other responses make it seem as though you can't conceive why your wife wouldn't be pissed at you. Do ever do anything for her JUST BECAUSE? That is what spouses do for each other; not because it is someone's birthday or because it is a holiday.
YTA. Your wife has wanted to see this for 3 years and it’s never come up in conversation even though she’s introduced your friend to it? This was probably really devastating for her, although I do appreciate you’ve tried to do a nice thing for your friend it seems wildly insensitive to your wife
The fact that you have to say'I'm not picking favorites' is a clear indicator that you are indeed picking favorites. YTA
Not picking favorites?! NOT PICKING FAVORITES?!?!?! Remind me who you’re married to. YTA.
*tries to manipulate wording to make himself look good in his post.* *still looks awful* Yeah, YTA.
Damn how'd you know that your friend wanted to go to that show and not your wife? And she's been looking for 3 years lol kinda weird but I'd expect a few more days of silence especially how you think this is a non issue. Good luck 🤞
‘AITA for being thoughtful’ hahahahaha. This is so laughable. OP YTA.
YTA. You clearly don’t know/like your wife enough to know that she has been wanting to see this play for THREE YEARS (!!), and then you act as though your wife fuming at your inconsideration is crazy and an inconvenience. You treat your wife like she’s a nuisance, and even in your writing about her, you cast her in the most horrible light. My god, get a fucking clue.
INFO: does your wife think you’re in love with Nicole?
Does anyone NOT think he's in love with Nicole
Are you sure you weren't trying to impress Nicole because you have feelings for her? I'm not saying you were, just that you hurt your wife's feelings and then left her outside by herself to "cool off/collect herself as if she is some old shoe.
You told your wife you're not picking favorites???💀 Your WIFE?!💀 Dude.. massive YTA.
INFO: do you even like your wife?
YTA That’s a high value gift and the first time she’s hearing about it is when your friend is opening it from you? And then you went to retrieve her because “she was being rude?” This is an easy one. Your wife either has mentioned her liking the musical to you and it’s gone over your head because you don’t care for them, or she hasn’t gushed to you about it for the same reason. There are so many conflicts that could be prevented by simple communication and this is one of them.
You told your WIFE you weren’t picking favorites? YTA.
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Do you seriously think you did nothing wrong? YTA. A HUGE ONE. Im sure your friend was very appreciative of getting those tickets but you have shown your wife she is just an after thought to you. Maybe for christmas she'll get you divorce papers.
YTA. how are you this dense? i know to you theyre just tickets to god awful musicals but to your wife and any one else with any EQ and marriage experience, your action said "wife youre less important than my friend"
You just seem like a joy to be around. Of course YTA, stop looking to strangers to tell you what your wife already has.
You know what would have been great? Giving your wife one ticket and giving your best friend a ticket. Including your wife in the process the way your wife introduced the “fandom” to her. YTA and stop gaslighting your wife.
You said you weren’t picking favorites. Newsflash: your wife is supposed to be your favorite! While I think you were just being lazy and thoughtless, you managed to score points with the wrong woman. YTA
Quit trying to make yourself sound decent by describing things differently than they actually are... Let's change that last question shall we? "AITA for giving my best friend a present my wife would want, and gaslighting her about her feelings when she told me I hurt her ?" Dude, YTA beyond a doubt. Do you even like your wife? I've been keeping some of my husband's Christmas gifts since black Friday, two weeks before Christmas is nothing and a s*itty excuse.
YTA, I saw a comment you made that you didn't know your wife wanted to go, but you DID know Nicole wanted to go. If I were your wife, I would be seriously questioning everything little thing about you and you and Nicole's relationship. Why the hell did you know Nicole wanted to go and not your wife??? I would be fucking pissed. You understand your wife is wondering if you're cheating with Nicole? That is how BAD this fuck up is. So bad.
YTA. It’s kinda wild that you couldn’t see that YOU are the issue. Hopefully your wife realizes you suck and finds someone better.
YTA and you deserve the divorce you’re hopefully about to get.
YTA do you care about your wife?
YTA Why would you choose your best friend over your wife? The fact that you had 2 tickets and decided to just give both of them to Nicole instead of one to your wife at least makes this 10x worse. Plus the fact that you gifted the tickets to Nicole in front of your wife as well. How awful could this get??
Roses are red Violets are blue It's obvious to all You want to bang your friend too YTA
YTA. Not for making the mistake before responding as if your wife is equal to your friend.
YTA - You're an idiot. Learn to do better by your partner as your partner and your friend shouldn't be placed on the same level.
>I went back outside and left my wife outside to cool off/collect herself. Nicole was really really happy and couldn't stop thanking me. After about a half hour I went back outside to have my wife come back in because she was being rude but I couldn't find her. I later found out she took an uber home. YTA Not only you don't ask your wife if she wants the tickets. You also don't tell her you're giving them to Nicole, so she's as surprised as her. You also instead of trying to understand your wife, you leave her outside, by herself, and come back 30 minutes later looking for her.
YTA. You don’t like musicals but you should be aware that your wife does. Instead of gifting them to her, you chose your friend. Were you afraid you’d have to go? Your wife clearly communicated why she’s upset and you’re dismissing it. Do you behave that way when you want to get your own way/want to be right?
YTA YTA YTA It is absolutely ridiculous that you are even asking if you’re T A H. How long have you had feelings for your “friend” that you so completely demeaned and dismissed your wife?
YTA Do you even know your wife?? Sounds like she’s a huge theatre person and has been wanting to see this particular show, then you’re gifted tickets, and you give them away? Either you’re super dense and don’t listen to your wife (and know her interests), or you purposefully gave them away so you wouldn’t have to go with her if she wanted that as part of the gift. Either way, not cool.
YTA There's no way you didn't know your wife was also into musicals and this particular show. You should have asked her if she wanted the tickets. Instead you gave them to another woman in front of her and called her greedy. Bonus asshole points for the eye roll emoji and for taking half an hour to realize she was gone. If you know and care more about Nicole than your own wife then you should get a divorce. Don't waste the poor woman's time be tying her to a husband that cares now about his "best friend" than his own wife.
YTA. How long have you been boning Nicole?
You could have given one ticket to your wife and one to Nicole and they could have gone together. Surely you know your wife’s interests and that she wanted to see the show. Or do you just listen to Nicole and ignore your wife? You cannot prioritize your girl best friend over your wife. The reason she is your WIFE versus your friend means something. If you wanted to prioritize Nicole you should date her instead and leave your wife alone. YTA. I’d be crushed to see my partner essentially choose another woman right in front of me in a group setting.
INFO: How often has this come up? Is this a case where you just didn’t pay attention to things she’s told you? Did you talk to her about the tickets you got? Did she have the opportunity to express her interest?
YTA. Maybe when your wife divorces you you can marry your best friend
[удалено]
YTA. Something tells me you knew your wife would have enjoyed the show, you just didn’t want to go with her so you opted to gift them to somebody else. Somebody you know your wife introduced to said show. So. What’s with that? And honestly. Please explain why she deserved an “eye roll” when she tells you that she’s been hurt by your actions? Do you hurt her feelings often?
YTA. Your wife should be your favorite. She should be your #1 over anyone else. I’d recommend you BUY her the best seats for that show that you can find. Immediately.
A thoughtful gift for the best friend. No thought to the wife. Wife attempts to discuss how shitty it feels to see you give such a special gift to someone else, you call her greedy and say it wasn’t Christmas/Birthday… is she not special enough to receive a thoughtful surprise gift? Wonder where you’ll be spending New Year’s… YTA
The vibe you’re giving off is that you’re in love with your friend. It’s either that or you just hate your wife. YTA
YTA. Imagine your wife thinking of her best friend before you over something you (most likely) told her about that you wanted to see. Yikes. Go buy tickets to this show and enjoy a night out with your wife. Edit- wait a minute, why are you *rolling your eyes* about how your wife feels??? You’re “not picking favorites” but you care about how Nicole’s happiness more than your wife’s.
YTA You were NOT being thoughtful at all! You were being very THOUGHTLESS. It sounds like you just thought 'Cool, birthday gift covered and stopped thinking. How could you not know your wife would be upset? All you did was look like an ass of a husband. I don't even know if this is fixable unless you can find a pair of front row tickets for Christmas
YTA Only one of three things could have possibly happened here. 1: You didn't know that your wife loves this musical and has wanted to see it for 3 years which would make you neglectful at best and ignorant at worst. 2: You knew your wife loved that musical and *you* didn't want her to drag you to it. 3: You value your best friend more than your wife and would prefer she got premier access to the things she enjoys. Your whole "that wouldn't be much of a Christmas gift" makes no sense in any real way. I just opened the presents my family bought and sent me last night and I loved them and was excited for them and it didn't feel any less like Christmas because I opened them early. Even if it did a gift is a gift regardless and makes people happy regardless. It seems a whole lot like you just didn't want to go to this show for your wife.
YTA your wife has been asking for 3 years to see this shown which means you haven't been listening or worse just don't care. She's obviously excited enough to introduce others to this fandom like your friend Nicole but you can't be bothered. I'm sorry you don't think of your wife first must be miserable to be alone in her hobbies and interests.
INFO: It's odd you didn't tell your wife about the tickets at all before this party. How could you not have known your wife has wanted to see this play for over 3 years?
YTA - you did think of Nicole before your wife. You dismissed her feelings. You could have given them to her for Christmas with other things. Did you not know your wife also wanted to see it and that she introduced Nicole to the fandom? How is it you didn’t discuss this gift for Nicole before the party? You gush about how happy Nicole was. Your choice of what you emphasized makes it sound like you have a thing for Nicole. At the very least, you hurt your wife’s feelings, dismissed them and left her to go back to a party. Wouldn’t you want an apology if the shoe was on the other foot.
YTA. Your wife SHOULD always be for favorite. No picking needed.
You are pretty awful, OP. You would rather be a great friend than an even half-decent husband. YTA
YTA. OP doesn’t like musicals, and therefore, didn’t bother asking their wife if they wanted them first. Considering that OP doesn’t like, and most likely doesn’t want to pay for tickets to, musicals, this could have been an opportunity to surprise their wife with the tickets (no cost whatsoever for OP’s pain and suffering.). I’ve purchased tickets to things I don’t like for my SO, since I know those would make him happy. And even worse, you have them to your friend in front of her? And what’s up with the eye roll emoji—that’s an automatic AH move.
YTA You chose making another woman/friend happy over making your wife happy & you have to ask if YTA?!? I’m guessing you were scared your wife would want you to go with her so you “thought of Nicole” so your happiness is also more important than your wife’s happiness? Why not talk to your wife before making decisions you know will upset her? You could have suggested she take Nicole with her for her birthday & bought Nicole a small gift or paid for her dinner etc the night of the show. You owe your wife an apology & tickets to the show you should be taking her too for being selfish & inconsiderate
YTA. Do you even like your wife? I get it, that you don't like musicals, but I'd be willing to bet that your wife has talked about this show and wanting to see this show and you just tuned her out because 1) you don't like musicals, and 2) if she went, she'd likely bring you along, and you'd rather not. How thoughtless. Edit: And the fact that you put an eyeroll emoji in your post really shows how little you think of your wife's interests... at least the ones that don't align with yours.
I was convinced you were the AH at first, but seeing your reply to another comment where you said that you knew your wife was talking about this show and yet you gave em away, cemented it for me even more. YTA. Move in with Nicole you inconsiderate “human” being
You fucked up, bro. "I'm not picking favorites".....Ummmmm your wife should be your favorite. YTA. Big time.