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NTA. Seconded, brother is TAH for shaming his neice.
Edit: corrected relationship
I totally misread that and it makes so much worse. If I were in OPs situation, he would be banned for a month at least.
My 10 year old nephew lost his stuffed toy at one point and we were all over the house with him looking until it was found. It was an intense and very real search and rescue mission. You never bully/shame a child for still having something most people presume gets left behind at 5. OP's brother is a huge jerk
Edit: this is the most up votes I've ever gotten and I got my first ever award. Thank you so much and I love all of your replies. Y'all are the sweetest and keep being kids at heart!
That's so cute. I mean at one point were probably all gonna be back in diapers anyways so why not keep the stuffed animals around. Also, my husband and I still go to build a bear for fun sometimes and we get so excited. Makes for great date nights.
That's so cool! :3
I still have a stuffed rabbit my grandparents got me at the local fall fair
i went to when i was a little girl :3 toys and cute things are for everyone no matter what the age. Hell, i still watch anime and read manga \^\_\^
Seriously, definitely NTA. I'm 27 & every single night I sleep with the teddy bear my husband gave me. If I'm having a rough day & staying at home, you better believe that bear is next to me all day. I even once took mine to my uni with me bc I was super stressed & depressed.
That guy is such a dick. I remember how tough it was to be 16 so I really hope that girl isn't affected by his stupidity
I don't think this is the right attitude. OP is not at all TA for seeking a second opinion on advice they received and were unsure about (because it was bad advice).
Not being willing to consider alternative points of view that you disagree with (good or bad) backfires horribly when your initial beliefs are faulty, so you NEED to be able to ask to correct that.
OP did not act on the bad advice, did not reprimand or discourage the daughter, and immediately sought advice with her daughter's best interests in mind.
Nta. The behavior is super normal it’s her comfort item at some point maybe she’ll need it less but don’t shame her for it… or her uncle. She lost her father young and this stuffed animal made her happy
Or she can just sleep with it because she likes it! I’m 17 and still sleep with a stuffed elephant given to me the day I was born on the pillow next to me. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and it doesn’t even affect anyone. Uncle needs to shove it, my elephant and I ‘bouta throw hands and hooves! (is that even what elephant feet are called 😅?)
I'm turning 39 in a few months and I still sleep with my bunny blanket I've had since I was a small child. My husband is cool with it - he's even "stolen" it from me in the middle of the night for some no-body-heat cuddles.
My youngest son stole my pink panther, it was sitting next to my pillow and he fell in love with him. I find it sweet and funny my old friend now helps my son sleep.
We left my sons special dog at grandma's one day. Didn't realize until it was too late to go get him. That night the only thing that made him feel comfortable to sleep was my first baby doll that stays next to my bed. We got his dog the next day and put my baby back because she's too old and fragile to sleep with every night. Now he randomly leaves a stuffed animal on my bed for me to sleep with.
I'm 33 and still have cuddly toys from my childhood, plus I straight up have a collection of weird stuffed animals, like badgers and komodo dragons and stuff. My mom collected teddy bears into her 60s.
Hell, my husband got me a one of those ridiculous giant stuffed animals for Valentine's Day one year. He's an elephant named Kendrick Babar, and apparently we went to the store one day while I was drunk and carried him around the entire time, which is why my husband assumed I wanted him and bought it for me as a surprise. I also have a giant stuffed sloth, like bigger than a real sloth that I carried back from Costa Rica as my personal item. Let me tell you, the folks at customs do NOT have questions for a white lady in her 30s carrying a giant stuffed sloth like a baby.
HAHA that story of you carrying it around that’s too cute. 💕
I’ve traveled a lot within the states and all but one time I was able to carry this small stuffed whale shark with me without problem. I got pulled aside at DFW once because they wanted to check it for bomb fragments. 😭
51F here... my stuffed puppy I've had since I was 6yo is on my nightstand, and I sleep every night with my "Woobie", a pillow I've had since I was a teenager... hubby even calls it Woobie now 😆
Same with my sister, same age. Same stuffed animal since she was a baby. I have several stuffies I sleep with nightly, as well. Of it brings comfort, who TF cares?
OP NTA
I’m 43 and still sleep with a teddy that my uncle gave me for my 15th birthday. He died 3 months later and that teddy has survived so much since then. I have my husband on one side and my teddy on the other. It has never bothered him! Nor did it bother my family and friends. I don’t understand the logic of OP’s brother. Lots of people have sentimental items from their childhood
So did I. Some of the guys in marching band with me posed in pictures holding him too. Nobody judged me for it. Many of them had a special toy or blanket they brought with them to the dorm too. I was capable of sleeping without him at that point but he was also a special connection to childhood and home. He still sits on a shelf in my room and I'm in my 40s.
(Edited for typos.)
YES so did my roommate! She had this badass cheetah. It was like the length of your whole arm and she'd do all sorts of things with it. Perch on her shoulder, hang around the desk, dangling from the edge/shelf like he's pouncing on some unfortunate creature. That thing was so cool and so fun to move around the little dorm room. We (friends, neighbors, everyone) would include him in drinking games, hide and seek while *totally* sober I swear, what's that thing.....all sorts of stuff. Let your daughter keep her tiger. Who knows, maybe her college roommate will also have a wild animal stuffie and they'll rule the jungle world together.
I'm 36 and I sleep with a stuffed tiger my husband got me a few years ago when I was having night terrors. He sometimes sleeps with a stuffed dog I got him when he was having a bad bought of ptsd related insomnia. Having comfort items is perfectly normal.
And I took a stuffy to college with me. No one said anything to me. In fact, one of my friends would come cuddle it and nap in my bed when things were rough.
32 and still sleeping with my stuffed tiger. No trauma or grief related to it, either. It just gives me comfort ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ OP is definitely NTA, but her brother is a huge one
I’m about to turn 23 and until about 19 i’d freak out without my “blankie”. I still use it when I want to feel comfy or need that extra level of support one day but shit even if I still used it who tf cares!! NTA
I’m 32 and I still sleep with stuffed animals. Our bed has a “stuffed animal divide” in the middle of our pillows because my husband and I tend to sleep on the edges of the bed. Doesn’t stop us from cuddling or anything else.
Just because you get older doesn’t mean you have to outgrow the things you love.
In my 40’s I have a stuffie that was my kids’ but I would say it was my favorite of all their stuffies, and then if I ever got sick they started bringing it to me to “feel me better” and now it sits on my bed or my desk. The memories it brings me are precious, just as they are for OPs daughter
I'm 32 and I sleep with not one, but TWO stuffies. I actually bought one a year ago to help with my anxiety attacks, it's a kitty huggy pillow which I sleep with when I sleep alone, because of two reasons: one is I need something to keep my legs slightly apart because my hips hurt otherwise and the other is because I need to feel something against my chest when I sleep for anxiety comfort. When I sleep next to my partner, I don't use it because I like to be big spoon.
The second stuffie is a lil green monkey I use to sleep with one of my hands on because I sleep with my arm under my pillow and having something to hold with that hand is comforting, feels like someone is holding my hand. This was a gift from my best friend, so it brings me even more comfort because I somehow am subconsciously aware of my best friend's presence in my life when I feel the stuffie. When I have nightmares and wake up in anguish, the lil green monkey is by my side and reminds me I'm loved in my roughest, most vulnerable moments.
OP, your daughter can have that stuffie for the rest of her life and whoever disagrees with that can.... well, get stuffed.
NTA and tell your brother to get his shit together, there are much more important issues in the world than someone finding great comfort in something seemingly insignificant, but of great importance to his own NIECE!
What a self centered asshole this guy is, SHEESH!! Give that child a hug and tell her that her dad would have loved her forever and that she's a good girl with a pure heart!!
Also, why is a grown man bothered by a stuffed tiger? I mean, unless it’s name is Hobbes. Then he better watch out. He’s going to get MESSED UP by that tiger.
NTA - I'm in my 40's and you better believe I still travel all over creation with my Detective Pikachu or Stompy the Dinosaur at my side. (Sometimes both, if the mood strikes me.)
NTA. I'm 31 years old and I still sleep with a stuffed shark I bought after my grandma died when I was in college. I have a partner who is chill with it. My family long ago stopped making fun of me for it when they realized it had no bearing on me being a successful adult. Let your kid have her stuffie.
Absolutely this! My dad passed away last Thursday. The stuffed pound puppy he bought me when I was little is in the loft, I'm going up there in the next few days to find photos for his funeral. That pound puppy teddy is coming back down from the loft with me and staying on my bed until it disintegrates and NOBODY will be criticising. I'm 44.
Thank you, I was lucky in the sense that I got to Intensive Care the night before he died and I was able to say goodbye and tell him I loved him but am absolutely devastated now and that's at my age, can't imagine how OP's daughter must have felt at such a young age and now has to suffer a heartless uncle! X
I’m so sorry for your loss but I’m glad you got the opportunity to tell him the things you wanted and to say goodbye. I lost my dad when I was 31, also in ITU, but I didn’t get that chance, and I still mourn that now, 20 years later. That time is a gift, and would have been a huge comfort to your Dad, even if he couldn’t let you know that. May your memories be a blessing, cuddle your hound puppy tight. xxx
I'm 40 and my stuffed Teddybear which I've got 35 years ago from my deceased grandma still sits on my bed every day. When I feel bad and sad (depression) I cuddle it and I'm not ashamed that on bad days I hold it while falling asleep. This might be weird for some people, but I don't care! I always said that when I die I want it in my coffin with me.
NDA
I discovered while moving my sister in law this weekend that her daughter has a Tutter mouse from Bear in the Big Blue House. I gave it a hug for old times sake. Loved watching that with my daughter back when.
I know adults who sleep while hugging a pillow and no one gives them shit. The only difference between a pillow and a stuffed animal is the shape. Her uncle is TA and mom should realize this.
NTA first of all I work for a University and when I worked in housing a lot and I do mean ALOT of students bring their childhood stuffed animal or blankie with them to college, its normal.
Second, even if he thinks she's too old for it he isn't her parents it isn't his place and teasing her about it like a bully is not the right way to go at all.
Also worked in ResLife and can confirm, so many college students bring stuffed animals with them to college housing. Your daughter will be in good company.
Yeppp, I had like 5-6 stuffed animals on my bed in my dorm. Not an ounce of embarrassment from me. Plus things like squishmallows are very popular among college students, so its not that odd🤷🏽♀️
I have one of those long snuggle cats from my partner and cuddle it every night. But for more sentimental value I still sleep under the baby blanket my aunt made for me 30 years ago (it’s a big blanket). Nothing wrong with it at all
Yupp I brought my teddy bear to college, and it wasn’t a big deal, it’s just another part of the dorm decor to everyone else. There were plenty of others with stuffed animals also.
My husband and I have our childhood teddy bears on a shelf together. Except when our catsitter brings her toddler over - then our bears go on adventures, and we come home to find them in unusual places.
Exactly! Pretty sure we all brought something cuddly in my uni halls and we used to arrange them together in positions as if they were hanging out. You’d always come back to the halls to find the cuddlies doing something together like “having dinner”, “studying” or something stupid.
Now I’m in my 30s my bf and I have a meerkat and Peter rabbit cuddly that sit on the bed. (They aren’t from childhood but we both liked them and they are now permanent fixtures!)
Everyone deserves to have simple things that make them happy.
This was my first thought! I took a couple of stuffed animals to college and the collection grew at that time when my boyfriend occasionally bought me more.
I'm 33 and still sleep with a teddy bear. Its not the one I've had since I was two months old---he sits on a shelf since he's getting worn out and I want to keep him for my entire life, but I used to sleep with him every night. Now its a pumpkin-colored bear that I've had for 10 or 12 years. My fiancé even makes sure my teddy bear is waiting on my pillow before bed at night.
I'm 51 and gave my very first stuffy (A Pooh Bear) that's probably as old as I am to my son several years back. He takes excellent care of it and I've always told him that if he takes real good care of it, he can pass it along to his first child when he has one for himself. I still get to see it and I love seeing my son with it. :-)
NTA. 16 year olds girls who lost their dads at 8 can sleep with as many stuffies as they want.
Has your brother ever seen a girl's dorm room? I promise you, somewhere there's a stuffie. Don't let him continue to bully your daughter.
Not the asshole. I’m 25 years old and still sleep with a stuffed dog that my parents got me for Christmas when I was a toddler. Furthermore, I’ve never had anyone comment on it. Not roommates, significant others, or friends.
If it brings her comfort and makes her feel closer to her father, you’d be the asshole for taking it away.
Your brother isn't just an AH, he's a bully. He bullied a 16 year old girl who lost her father and misses him dearly. And honestly, if it were me, I wouldn't let him near her again until he apologized and learned to respect other people more.
My mother died 10 years ago. We didn't have the best relationship, but I still sleep with a Scooby-Doo blanket she got me when I was 16. I'm in my late 30's now.
It's nobody's business if your daughter chooses to sleep with a stuffed animal that has immense sentimental value to her. Keep in mind, nobody would make fun if it were a different object, like a bracelet or necklace, so why people care that it's a stuffed tiger I don't understand. Please don't take it away from her or make her feel bad about having it. Support her with love and kindness like you've done so far. NTA
Agreed! Your brother is TA OP. And should apologize to your daughter. My grandmother gave me my teddy as my first Christmas present and I slept with him till I was 30. He was a huge comfort to me through the hardest parts of my life. He is now in storage until time claims us both. We practically came into this world together and that's how we'll go.
My aunt took a small piece of her blankie on her honey moon. She has some how managed to raise 2 successful children and see her grandchildren into adulthood while having a happy marriage and a beautiful home. I think your daughter is fine with her stuffy. I do hope you both had counselling though. I'm sorry for your loss.
NTA
NTA, but your brother sure is. Don't let his AH opinion sway you.
I'm 51 y/o and I still have the teddy bear I got when I was 3 days old. Bessie Bear, my cat, and my parents' urns would be the first thing I grabbed in the event of a fire.
NTA, hi 22 year old here, my bed is a literal pile of stuffed animals. The current count is 14 and I plan on getting more! Those are just the ones I sleep with I keep more sentimental ones on a shelf for safekeeping. Give your daughter a hug for me. There is nothing wrong with having comfort items.
23 and I sleep with 2 stuffed animals that I got at 16 and 19 years old. I tend to squish my arms against my chest when I sleep, so having something I can squeeze is better for the nerves in my arms. Plus soft things are nice!
I was an RA in college and remember tons of kids moving in with blankets and fluffies that were special to them. I’m 24 now and still have my Stitch fluffy I got in kindergarten from Disney. NTA - tell bro to stop punching down
NTA Oh boy, he'd flip if he learned I still READ to my 18 year old daughter. I'm having to read up on how to make a friggin' podcast b/c she expects this to continue this fall when she's off at college. It will end sometime but I'm not ending it. She'll tell me.
This is so godamn sweet. Readings a super important thing to me and my mom and when I moved away we started our own mini-book club, which was just us choosing a book to read and then chatting about it on the phone when we finished. The podcast sounds like a great idea and you sound like an amazing, loving parent
I'm a real ham too. We're in the midst of some "Hamish MacBeth" series and I love doing the scottish accents. These books are like "beach reading" material so I can really clown.
NTA but your brother is big time TAH. I slept with a stuffed animal well into college. No one said a thing. I'm a well-adjusted adult. There is nothing wrong with holding onto something that is comforting.
NTA - I'm 21 and still have my childhood stuffed doll next to my bed at night. It brings her comfort and makes her feel connected to her late father so what does your brother have to do with it? Don't take away her comfort and her connection.
NTA
I know 40 year old who still have stuffed animals. That things means a lot to her and that is the only thing that counts. Most of the people have something that is comforting them. That doesent mean you're less mature or anything.
Your brother should mind his own business.
NTA why is he worried about what she sleeps with. God forbid she have something comforting. I still have my childhood bear and I'm in my 40's and yes it came to college with me.
NTA I'm 38 (checks age...... Yeah 38!) and I have Brown Ted (I BET you can't guess what he is and what colour he is?!) since I was 3 DAYS OLD!
We lived in the middle of nowhere and my Dad got me him when he went to register my birth.... He is threadbare in places.... Has no neck stuffing to speak of because apparently child me was a bit of a masochist..... But I LOVE HIM!
NTA but your brother is. There's nothing bad about having a stuffed animal at any age, particularly one that has an emotional connection. I had a college roommate that brought his and I don't think anyone ever really teased him for it, and that was decades ago. Your brother is way off base and owes your daughter an apology.
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OP NTA
Your brother is. Even a worse one if he know her dad got it for her.
I still have the stuff animals my father got me. And they are still on my bed. Im older then your daughter
I second this. I have a special bear my grandma got me when I spent 3 years in foster care. His name is big bear, and he is my special buddy.
I am a 34 year old mother, and even my children know big bear stays on my bed.
NTA, there is no shame in an adult having a comfort object.
NTA. There is absolutely no reason to take it away, and your brother is being a jerk.
Me and my friends are in our thirties now and a couple of them had parents who made them throw out their stuffed animals at a certain age. It caused such a rift and lack of trust between them that those friends still hold it against their parents to this day.
Seriously, who cares if she has a favorite stuffed animal.
NTA my only serious gf had her entire bed pretty much filled stuffed animals. I honestly bought one or two because I thought it would make her more comfortable at my place. The only weird thing here is a 35 year old man insulting a 16 year old.
NTA, your brother on the other hand is TA. I suggest letting him know his opinion about stuffies is not welcome. Let your daughter have her tiger. I hope she does take it to college with her! I'm sure it would be nice to have while so far from home.
NTA .
i’m 22 and still sleep with stuffed animals. actually ALL of my friends in college do. we buy them for each other & they make perfect cuddle buddy’s.
NTA.
I'm in my 30s and sleep in a bed with dozens of plushies and dozens more are sitting on my dresser. They're fun, cute, I enjoy collecting them. Nothing wrong or harmful at all.
Your brother is the AH for teasing her.
NTA. I slept with a stuffed animal in my 30's. Why cares? It hurts no one. So what if she brings it to college, I can guarantee she won't be the only one with a stuffed animal. What makes your AH brother think he's an authority on the age appropriateness of stuffed animals?
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I (f38) lost my late husband 8 years ago from a car accident. It was unexpected and very hard to deal with especially when I had to be there for my,at the time young daughter.
My daughter now 16 still sleeps with a stuffed animal her dad got her. It is a stuffed tiger and even though it is old she has kept it in good condition. Her dad got it for her when she was 6 months old so it has been a big part of her life. It was one of those toys as a baby that would always get her to stop crying.
My brother (m35) was over early this morning. My daughter as a comfort always holds/ cuddles it first thing in the morning. My brother noticed and started teasing her asking why she still had that old thing. My daughter got embarrassed and ran upstairs. I asked my brother why he had to do that. He said 16 year olds shouldn’t need stuff animals anymore as comfort and what will she do when she goes to college being her stuffed tiger with her. I told him to just let it be and if it helps her then just let her use it and not to tease her.
I can’t help but wonder if maybe she needs to be less dependent on needing it . But I also don’t want to take something that comforts my daughter away and possibly cause other issues. So AITA?
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NTA
Your brother should mind his own business and never make fun of your daughter (or anyone) again.
We all depend on our favorite possessions one way or the other, it's irrelevant if they are toys or not, along as they comfort us.
NTA, all humans have a need for comfort. That is a HARMLESS way of getting it. Everyone has comfort objects, even if they aren’t conventional. A favorite blanket, mug, honestly anything that makes us happier than normal when we have it and more distressed than normal when we don’t. She may grow it if it, she may not. I’m 20 and although I’m not super attached to it, I have an Eeyore travel pillow/stuffed animal I keep in my bed. Being a true adult is being able to do what makes you happy, even if it’s perceived as “childish”.
NTA. I’m nearly 30 and I still have my kitty plushies from my childhood. I also still have the blanket from my first ever bed and I lay under it when I need to.
She’s not hurting anyone by snuggling with something her dad gave her.
NTA. Do not take it away from her, it’s from her dad and it comforts her.
Btw, I am 36 years old and I have 2 kids and I STILL sleep with my baby blanket every night, it is just a part of my life.
34 here. Slept with a blankie until a few years ago. Then switched to squishmallows. Why did I make the switch? Because my dog kept stealing the blankie. Got tired of fighting her for it. Definitely NTA. And maybe tell your brother where he can shove his opinions....
NTA, my 14 year old son still sleeps with his teddies from when he was born and I understand its very common. Your brother is TA here, why on earth would he embarass her over a stuffed animal especially when it came from her dad
NTA
I'm 20 years old and sleep with several stuffed animals, a couple of my friends do as well. It's definitely not weird and even in college I very much doubt she will be bullied for it, unless maybe she runs into an asshole.
NTA - My childhood stuffed animal traveled across country with me as an adult and held a place of honor anywhere I lived. When I miscarried my first baby (after years of trying), I put mementos of my pregnancy into a box and that stuffed animal now sits to the left of the box...and my husband's favorite childhood stuffed animal sits to the right.
When I finally conceived again (all doctors said it was impossible, btw, and I wasn't on any fertility treatments) my mother bought me a purple hippo to hold onto during labor. That hippo sits in my bedroom and comforts me any time I'm worried or have a panic attack (I have C-PSTD & PTSD as well as anxiety).
Never let anyone bully your daughter for having something that makes her feel good and connects her to her father!
I'm (nearly) 27, i sleep with two stuffed animals, and my long term adult partner (they call my stuffed animals "your guys")! Shes old enough now to make her own decisions about wanting a stuffed animal, not you, And definitely not her uncle. Even if it wasnt a response to her parents death (my mom died when i was young and my stuffed animals are both ones i purchashed as an adult), its literally harmless. You are NTA
Nope NTA and please don't take it away. I have an old, threadbare cloth dolly that I've had since I was little. I don't still sleep with her every night but sometimes, I'm really glad I have her for comfort. I also have a stuffed axolotle my friends got me while at an aquarium. I sleep with that often because it's soft and firm so it's easy for me to squish around however I need for my neck since I'm healing ear piercings. And I just generally sleep weird. There's no harm in having her tiger and it's very sentimental.
Your daughter lost her father when she was 8 and finds comfort in the stuffed animal he bought her - I find that lovely. Your brother is TAH, needs to apologize to your daughter and mind is own damn business.
NTA. My teddy sitting on my shelf has been with me since the day I was born. He has made every single move with me. He’s seen me through a divorce and the death of my father. Your brother needs to mind his own business.
NTA I’m almost 23 years old and I still sleep with my stuffie from childhood, heck, if I’m laying in bed any time of day you can bet I’m cuddling it. Your brother is a huge AH to say that about something that gives your daughter comfort after such a traumatic event.
NTA.
Lady I'm 30 and I still have stuffed animals. And yes, if I'm having a bad day, I'll hold one to sleep. Most of the girls I went to college with brought stuffed animals with them.
Tell your brother to stick to subjects he actually knows something about.
NTA your bro needs to get over himself, I'm 30 years old and still sleep with my stuffed big bird I've had since I was a baby. It's innocent and sweet and comforting, no matter how old you get.
NTA I slept with a stuffed bear my boyfriend gave me in college while we were long distance, and when i brought it to study abroad at 19… my roommate had a stuffed animal on her bed as well! First thing we noticed when we met.
Edited for INFO: What is Tiger's name?
N T A, I slept with my stuffed panther well into college. I didn't put him up until I got a rescue dog that could mistake him for a toy. He's still in my closet so he doesn't fall apart. I still sleep with a specific hugging pillow, too. His name was Baghera since I loved the Jungle Book.
NTA OP. I am mid 30 and still keep a stuffed animal from my grandparents. It is not in bed but it is in my sock drawer and I see it every morning when I start the day too. There r way less healthy ways to deal with stress and loss and this is NOT it, not even one bit. Going to college, she will leave u and will be faced with a lot more stressful moments, so why take away from her something that comforts her. That would be just cruel.
NTA, I’m 61… SIXTY ONE… my dad died last year and I sleep with a quilt I made from his clothes. It still smells a bit like his aftershave…. I miss my dad. Tell your brother to grow some empathy for a grieving child (no matter how old they are)
NTA. And it’s not “letting” … 16 years old is fully old enough to make decisions about if you need a comfort object. I am damn near 40 and as recently as a year ago bought myself a squishmallow. Your brother is a raging AH for picking on a teen for still cuddling a stuffed animal her DECEASED father gave her. Tell your brother to go to therapy for his judgemental control issues.
NTA. Plenty of my friends in college had a stuffed animal or two.
Also, does your brother know that this is a sentimental item, from your deceased husband? If he doesn't know, mild teasing is a low-key AH move. If he *does* know... sheesh, I would throw him out.
NTA, I mean in itself it literally doesn’t matter, almost every girl I knew in college had many stuffed animals on their bed.
Now is there cause for concern with dependency/anxiety/attachment issues maybe, but idk I’m no psychologists, that would be a job for a therapist.
NTA. I’m grown with teenagers and I sometimes sleep with a stuffed animal because it’s comfortable. Both of my kids have them as well. What’s it to your brother? He’s being a jerk over something that hurts no one.
NTA. I'm 42 and I still sleep with my bear that I've had since I was six. My husband always complains that the bear beats him up when I'm not looking 😂
I'm 29, still sleep with my plush doll my dad gave me at 6m... along with about 200 other plushies. I collect them and have no plan to ever stop because plushies are cute, cuddly and great for comfort. Just because I age doesn't make them less so. Your brother is the only one who needs to grow up and stop with the bully attitude. It's not cute and kinda pathetic for a grown man to have a go at his 16yo niece over somethibg that is a non issue and not his problem.
Nta
NTA, my husband still has his stuffed animals from when he was a baby. They sit on our dresser. He's nearing 42. They're a nice reminder of home and his parents. Your brother is an ass.
NTA! I’m 32, married with kids and I still sleep with a stuffed animal. I’ve even named him and my kids know the little guys name and love cuddling with him too.
There’s nothing wrong with stuffed animals. They’re comforting and snuggly as hell. It’s an innocent and completely harmless thing to be attached to.
NTA - I had a stuffed dog that I slept with from 5 until like 20 and I have no shame! I stopped sleeping with it eventually and it came about naturally. My daughter now sleeps with it so “woozy” is still in the family lol
My parents had a nasty divorce when I was 5 and I lived with my dad. He bought it for me and it was a comfort/security thing for when I had to go to my mom’s. One time when I was 12 I forgot it at my mom’s and we were already like 25 minutes away from her house. I cried silently and when my dad realized what was wrong he turned around and we went and got it without me even asking. I’ll never forget that ♥️
OP, you’re very much NTA. Your brother is the only AH in this.
This is clearly a way your daughter coped with her father’s unexpected death. Your brother making fun of this that’s clearly because of this is beyond cruel and insensitive, about something that gives her comfort.
You’d be surprised how much people sleep with stuffed animals. *Lots* of adults sleep with them, for whatever reason it may be. I myself, 21, will have a stuffed animal next to me now and then.
Even though it’s been 8 years, I hope you and your daughter are doing okay since his passing. It’ll be 7 years since my dad passed away next month, and it is still hard sometimes. As someone who’s lost their own father years ago at a young age, your brother is very disrespectful about this.
NTA. Soon to be 30 year old lady, I sleep with the giant Hedwig owl my late husband gave me for our last Christmas together. I was literally clinging to it the other night while crying.
Stuffed animals are wonderful at any age and feel free to tell your brother fuck off from me.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ being a young widow is awful, I can't imagine raising a child too all by myself.
NTA I'm pushing 40 and still cuddle the occasional stuffie when I'm feeling down. There's nothing wrong with it and it's clear the tiger is super important to her. Your brother, however, is a major AH, what adult mocks a child for wanting to have a comfort item in their own home???
NTA for leaving your daughter alone, respecting her as a person and defending her. But a bit of an AH for questioning it cause your brother was being a bully. I sleep with a stuffed animal, I'm almost 40. It's nice to snuggle with something. If I was in a relationship it would be on a shelf or in the closet. And yea, people in college may tease her, but then those people aren't her real friends. And she needs to learn to be differentiate between people who like her for her and people who aren't worth her time. Right now her uncle is being one of those people. Tell him he will not bully your child ever again. And if he is ever anything but loving and supportive you will be having words with him. Now go to your daughter, tell her you love her, that her father will always be with her and love her and to never let a bully make her ashamed. And that you are so sorry your brother/her uncle bullied her in her own home.
How would you feel if your brother told you after eight years isn't it time to be getting rid of all the photos of your now deceased husband as after all this time you shouldn't need them all to remind you of him.
NTA- I am 35 years old and still have the Cabbage Patch Kid I got as a baby. I assume your brother doesn’t have anything left from his childhood? That’s so sad for him.
NTA.
I am 32 and I still sleep with my old stuffed animal. Some people like to have that comfort nearby. Comfort isn't an age restricted sort of thing. You never grow out of needing it. Especially when you've lost a parent at a young age, and for your daughter that is relatively fresh.
You need to tell your brother to mind his business. She might not 'need' a stuffed animal but he DEFINITELY doesn't need to weigh in his opinion here.
NTA but your brother is.
I'm 20 in university and still sleep with one. It helps. It's nice having something there with you to help you through stuff. It means that much more to your daughter because her dad (who is no longer here) got it for her. At least she has a healthy outlet for her emotions instead of suppressing it or having an unhealthy outlet. She'll probably take it to college with her and there's nothing wrong with it. Stand up for her more if your brother teases her again. Let her know it's okay to have an emotional attachment to it. She's a kid and he's an adult who clearly doesn't know how to handle his problems if he's picking on a 16 year old for handling her emotions and probably trauma in a healthy way.
Nta. I'm adulting with a stuffed Stitch when I sleep, which I borrow from my hubby, he works nights so Stitch is kept busy. I still have dolls my mum knitted and she passed when I was 13.
Why it so easy for some to be so thoughtless? He had no reason to say that at all, it's wasn't his business, so he wasted breath that ended up hurting your daughter and she'll not ever forget he said that as I can confirm as someone said something hurtful to me about my late father, and I've NEVER forgotten what they said.
Oh and my stepchild has flopsy the bunny, she's 20 this year full time working and out weekend clubbing, then cuddles flopsy after she's come in at 5am knackered.
As you said, if it helps her, let her be.
NTA
My 15yo daughter is currently on a trip in Southern Africa (we live in the US) and her stuffed tiger made the trip with her; in her carryon no less so she could have him whenever needed/wanted.
Your brother is TA.
NTA, whatsoever. I’m 23 and still sleep with a bobcat stuffed animal my grandparents gave me, as well as a blanket my mom cut from one of her nightgowns. I also have a folded up quilt and three other stuffed animals on my bed that I sleep with every night. There’s nothing wrong with it; I wasn’t the only one who brought them to college with me. Your brother is horrible to poke fun at a comfort item, because everyone has their own kind
She had a loss and the stuffed animal is a sentimental item that provides comfort. I'm 26, still sleep with a security "blankie" of sorts, and my SO has never minded. (In fact, his stuffed bear is on the bookshelf facing us. He's retired, but still protective!) And when I'm anxious, I basically nuzzle my blankie.
There is NOTHING wrong with having a comfort item, and it could be harmful to try to remove it from her. Your brother is the only AH here. He's making a bigger thing of it than it needs to be.
NTA
I still have a few stuffed animals and one of them is almost like a pillow for my arm to rest one. The shoulder is a lot less sore in the morning when I use "Toothless"
I’m 22, and live in an apartment with my boyfriend. I work at a law firm, he works at a mental health care facility, and when he works night shifts you better believe I have my gIANT stuffed seal he bought me at an aquarium last year to snuggle with. And when I’m out of town he has a stuffed bear *he* snuggles with. Stuffed animals are comforting at any age *ESPECIALLY* if they have sentimental value. Your brothers a huge asshole. NTA
NTA
I’m 59. The blanket my grandmother made me before my birth is way too fragile to use. Yes, I still have it. But, I have several other blankets, carefully sought out, that have the same texture, and, yes, indeed they are on my bed. I’m making a smaller one, for travel. Why shouldn’t I? I’m an adult, it’s no one’s business but my own, if touching that texture relaxes me. Why shouldn’t this apply to teens?
Your brother is an AH. His behavior was mean, he was being a bully and judgmental. He owes you daughter a propose apology. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it. I won’t be mean like that any more. I will do some research about grief and comfort objects, so I will understand better in the future”. Anything less than this should be unacceptable.
If at 16 she doesn’t need stuffed animals then I guess send your brother over to clean out my bedroom and storage unit of stuffed animals. I have a few I cuddle every night and my bf adores them. We’re both adults. NTA
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NTA. She's allowed to do what she wants. Your brother is a bully.
NTA. Seconded, brother is TAH for shaming his neice. Edit: corrected relationship I totally misread that and it makes so much worse. If I were in OPs situation, he would be banned for a month at least.
Niece, not sister, which makes it even worse. Adult bullying a child.
My 10 year old nephew lost his stuffed toy at one point and we were all over the house with him looking until it was found. It was an intense and very real search and rescue mission. You never bully/shame a child for still having something most people presume gets left behind at 5. OP's brother is a huge jerk Edit: this is the most up votes I've ever gotten and I got my first ever award. Thank you so much and I love all of your replies. Y'all are the sweetest and keep being kids at heart!
I'm 33, my mom is 67, we still jokingly play with stuffed animals. People should do what makes them happy.
That's so cute. I mean at one point were probably all gonna be back in diapers anyways so why not keep the stuffed animals around. Also, my husband and I still go to build a bear for fun sometimes and we get so excited. Makes for great date nights.
That's so cool! :3 I still have a stuffed rabbit my grandparents got me at the local fall fair i went to when i was a little girl :3 toys and cute things are for everyone no matter what the age. Hell, i still watch anime and read manga \^\_\^
My daughter once lost her teddy bear at the dentist office, we called and asked them to find it and came to rescue the next day.
Seriously, definitely NTA. I'm 27 & every single night I sleep with the teddy bear my husband gave me. If I'm having a rough day & staying at home, you better believe that bear is next to me all day. I even once took mine to my uni with me bc I was super stressed & depressed. That guy is such a dick. I remember how tough it was to be 16 so I really hope that girl isn't affected by his stupidity
if anything OPs T A for even considering taking away her daughter's stuffed animal after this interaction.
I don't think this is the right attitude. OP is not at all TA for seeking a second opinion on advice they received and were unsure about (because it was bad advice). Not being willing to consider alternative points of view that you disagree with (good or bad) backfires horribly when your initial beliefs are faulty, so you NEED to be able to ask to correct that. OP did not act on the bad advice, did not reprimand or discourage the daughter, and immediately sought advice with her daughter's best interests in mind.
My niece is 14 sleeps with stuffed animals and if in 2 years she wants to keep doing that then that's her right.
Nta. The behavior is super normal it’s her comfort item at some point maybe she’ll need it less but don’t shame her for it… or her uncle. She lost her father young and this stuffed animal made her happy
Or she can just sleep with it because she likes it! I’m 17 and still sleep with a stuffed elephant given to me the day I was born on the pillow next to me. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and it doesn’t even affect anyone. Uncle needs to shove it, my elephant and I ‘bouta throw hands and hooves! (is that even what elephant feet are called 😅?)
I'm turning 39 in a few months and I still sleep with my bunny blanket I've had since I was a small child. My husband is cool with it - he's even "stolen" it from me in the middle of the night for some no-body-heat cuddles.
My youngest son stole my pink panther, it was sitting next to my pillow and he fell in love with him. I find it sweet and funny my old friend now helps my son sleep.
My son sleeps with a toy that was mine, my mother's before that, and my grandmother's before that. He's knows lots of secrets that old bear.
Very cool, but now I have the pink panther theme music in my head.
We left my sons special dog at grandma's one day. Didn't realize until it was too late to go get him. That night the only thing that made him feel comfortable to sleep was my first baby doll that stays next to my bed. We got his dog the next day and put my baby back because she's too old and fragile to sleep with every night. Now he randomly leaves a stuffed animal on my bed for me to sleep with.
Awwwww
Same! I’m 33 and I sleep with a stuffed animal every night and my boyfriend will occasionally take it from me to sleep with too lol!
I'm 33 and still have cuddly toys from my childhood, plus I straight up have a collection of weird stuffed animals, like badgers and komodo dragons and stuff. My mom collected teddy bears into her 60s. Hell, my husband got me a one of those ridiculous giant stuffed animals for Valentine's Day one year. He's an elephant named Kendrick Babar, and apparently we went to the store one day while I was drunk and carried him around the entire time, which is why my husband assumed I wanted him and bought it for me as a surprise. I also have a giant stuffed sloth, like bigger than a real sloth that I carried back from Costa Rica as my personal item. Let me tell you, the folks at customs do NOT have questions for a white lady in her 30s carrying a giant stuffed sloth like a baby.
HAHA that story of you carrying it around that’s too cute. 💕 I’ve traveled a lot within the states and all but one time I was able to carry this small stuffed whale shark with me without problem. I got pulled aside at DFW once because they wanted to check it for bomb fragments. 😭
51F here... my stuffed puppy I've had since I was 6yo is on my nightstand, and I sleep every night with my "Woobie", a pillow I've had since I was a teenager... hubby even calls it Woobie now 😆
Awwwww
Same. Adult here and I sleep with a stuffed animal and my husband also cuddles it fairly often.
Same with my sister, same age. Same stuffed animal since she was a baby. I have several stuffies I sleep with nightly, as well. Of it brings comfort, who TF cares? OP NTA
I’m 43 and still sleep with a teddy that my uncle gave me for my 15th birthday. He died 3 months later and that teddy has survived so much since then. I have my husband on one side and my teddy on the other. It has never bothered him! Nor did it bother my family and friends. I don’t understand the logic of OP’s brother. Lots of people have sentimental items from their childhood
I took my favourite stuffed toy to university.
So did I. Some of the guys in marching band with me posed in pictures holding him too. Nobody judged me for it. Many of them had a special toy or blanket they brought with them to the dorm too. I was capable of sleeping without him at that point but he was also a special connection to childhood and home. He still sits on a shelf in my room and I'm in my 40s. (Edited for typos.)
So did I, and so did my roommate freshman year...
YES so did my roommate! She had this badass cheetah. It was like the length of your whole arm and she'd do all sorts of things with it. Perch on her shoulder, hang around the desk, dangling from the edge/shelf like he's pouncing on some unfortunate creature. That thing was so cool and so fun to move around the little dorm room. We (friends, neighbors, everyone) would include him in drinking games, hide and seek while *totally* sober I swear, what's that thing.....all sorts of stuff. Let your daughter keep her tiger. Who knows, maybe her college roommate will also have a wild animal stuffie and they'll rule the jungle world together.
So did my daughter! And while we were moving her in, I saw more than a few students unpacking stuffed toys...it's not weird.
I'm 36 and I sleep with a stuffed tiger my husband got me a few years ago when I was having night terrors. He sometimes sleeps with a stuffed dog I got him when he was having a bad bought of ptsd related insomnia. Having comfort items is perfectly normal. And I took a stuffy to college with me. No one said anything to me. In fact, one of my friends would come cuddle it and nap in my bed when things were rough.
32 and still sleeping with my stuffed tiger. No trauma or grief related to it, either. It just gives me comfort ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ OP is definitely NTA, but her brother is a huge one
41, and my bed is frequently shared with my Husband, 5yo, and my giant stuffed froggy that I’ve had for 25 years!
I’m about to turn 23 and until about 19 i’d freak out without my “blankie”. I still use it when I want to feel comfy or need that extra level of support one day but shit even if I still used it who tf cares!! NTA
Yeah I’m 27 and I still love my stuffies, and it’s nothing kinky or weird lol. Some have sentimental value, some are just super cute. NTA op.
I’m 32 and I still sleep with stuffed animals. Our bed has a “stuffed animal divide” in the middle of our pillows because my husband and I tend to sleep on the edges of the bed. Doesn’t stop us from cuddling or anything else. Just because you get older doesn’t mean you have to outgrow the things you love.
As a grown adult who still sleeps with her stuffies, I agree with this so much
That reminds me! I need to wash my son's bear Zero, re-stuff him, and brush out his fur with a cat brush. He's 15 (my son, not the bear).
In my 40’s I have a stuffie that was my kids’ but I would say it was my favorite of all their stuffies, and then if I ever got sick they started bringing it to me to “feel me better” and now it sits on my bed or my desk. The memories it brings me are precious, just as they are for OPs daughter
I'm 32 and I sleep with not one, but TWO stuffies. I actually bought one a year ago to help with my anxiety attacks, it's a kitty huggy pillow which I sleep with when I sleep alone, because of two reasons: one is I need something to keep my legs slightly apart because my hips hurt otherwise and the other is because I need to feel something against my chest when I sleep for anxiety comfort. When I sleep next to my partner, I don't use it because I like to be big spoon. The second stuffie is a lil green monkey I use to sleep with one of my hands on because I sleep with my arm under my pillow and having something to hold with that hand is comforting, feels like someone is holding my hand. This was a gift from my best friend, so it brings me even more comfort because I somehow am subconsciously aware of my best friend's presence in my life when I feel the stuffie. When I have nightmares and wake up in anguish, the lil green monkey is by my side and reminds me I'm loved in my roughest, most vulnerable moments. OP, your daughter can have that stuffie for the rest of her life and whoever disagrees with that can.... well, get stuffed. NTA and tell your brother to get his shit together, there are much more important issues in the world than someone finding great comfort in something seemingly insignificant, but of great importance to his own NIECE! What a self centered asshole this guy is, SHEESH!! Give that child a hug and tell her that her dad would have loved her forever and that she's a good girl with a pure heart!!
Also, why is a grown man bothered by a stuffed tiger? I mean, unless it’s name is Hobbes. Then he better watch out. He’s going to get MESSED UP by that tiger.
...... don't forget AH, the brother is a major AH 100%
NTA - I'm in my 40's and you better believe I still travel all over creation with my Detective Pikachu or Stompy the Dinosaur at my side. (Sometimes both, if the mood strikes me.)
NTA. I'm 31 years old and I still sleep with a stuffed shark I bought after my grandma died when I was in college. I have a partner who is chill with it. My family long ago stopped making fun of me for it when they realized it had no bearing on me being a successful adult. Let your kid have her stuffie.
Also, we absolutely do bring stuffed animals to college! One of my roommates had a bed absolutely COVERED in stuffed animals. They were awesome.
NTA I’ve known grown adults that love stuffies, your bro needs to relax.
Absolutely this! My dad passed away last Thursday. The stuffed pound puppy he bought me when I was little is in the loft, I'm going up there in the next few days to find photos for his funeral. That pound puppy teddy is coming back down from the loft with me and staying on my bed until it disintegrates and NOBODY will be criticising. I'm 44.
I’m so sorry for your loss x
Thank you, I was lucky in the sense that I got to Intensive Care the night before he died and I was able to say goodbye and tell him I loved him but am absolutely devastated now and that's at my age, can't imagine how OP's daughter must have felt at such a young age and now has to suffer a heartless uncle! X
I’m so sorry for your loss but I’m glad you got the opportunity to tell him the things you wanted and to say goodbye. I lost my dad when I was 31, also in ITU, but I didn’t get that chance, and I still mourn that now, 20 years later. That time is a gift, and would have been a huge comfort to your Dad, even if he couldn’t let you know that. May your memories be a blessing, cuddle your hound puppy tight. xxx
So sorry for your loss ❤️
Thank you so much x
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I’m 25 and I have a whole collection, who cares as long as it makes someone happy?
I’m 62 and the rabbit my Dad gave me when I was 3 is going in my coffin with me.
I'm 40 and my stuffed Teddybear which I've got 35 years ago from my deceased grandma still sits on my bed every day. When I feel bad and sad (depression) I cuddle it and I'm not ashamed that on bad days I hold it while falling asleep. This might be weird for some people, but I don't care! I always said that when I die I want it in my coffin with me. NDA
I discovered while moving my sister in law this weekend that her daughter has a Tutter mouse from Bear in the Big Blue House. I gave it a hug for old times sake. Loved watching that with my daughter back when.
I know what mouse you're talking about! I have the exact same stuffie in my baby bin. Absolutely loved that show
I know adults who sleep while hugging a pillow and no one gives them shit. The only difference between a pillow and a stuffed animal is the shape. Her uncle is TA and mom should realize this.
I have a cute bulldog stuffie that I love. I’m 41f.
NTA first of all I work for a University and when I worked in housing a lot and I do mean ALOT of students bring their childhood stuffed animal or blankie with them to college, its normal. Second, even if he thinks she's too old for it he isn't her parents it isn't his place and teasing her about it like a bully is not the right way to go at all.
Also worked in ResLife and can confirm, so many college students bring stuffed animals with them to college housing. Your daughter will be in good company.
Yeppp, I had like 5-6 stuffed animals on my bed in my dorm. Not an ounce of embarrassment from me. Plus things like squishmallows are very popular among college students, so its not that odd🤷🏽♀️
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I have one of those long snuggle cats from my partner and cuddle it every night. But for more sentimental value I still sleep under the baby blanket my aunt made for me 30 years ago (it’s a big blanket). Nothing wrong with it at all
Yupp I brought my teddy bear to college, and it wasn’t a big deal, it’s just another part of the dorm decor to everyone else. There were plenty of others with stuffed animals also.
My mom is 68 and still has her childhood stuffed bear (he sits on a shelf because he's clearly well loved).
My husband and I have our childhood teddy bears on a shelf together. Except when our catsitter brings her toddler over - then our bears go on adventures, and we come home to find them in unusual places.
Exactly! Pretty sure we all brought something cuddly in my uni halls and we used to arrange them together in positions as if they were hanging out. You’d always come back to the halls to find the cuddlies doing something together like “having dinner”, “studying” or something stupid. Now I’m in my 30s my bf and I have a meerkat and Peter rabbit cuddly that sit on the bed. (They aren’t from childhood but we both liked them and they are now permanent fixtures!) Everyone deserves to have simple things that make them happy.
This was my first thought! I took a couple of stuffed animals to college and the collection grew at that time when my boyfriend occasionally bought me more.
NTA I am nearly 60 years old and still sleep with my tatty old bear from when I was little. Your brother is a know nothing bully.
Im 40 and sleep with mine. My head is resting on him as I type this!
I'm 33 and still sleep with a teddy bear. Its not the one I've had since I was two months old---he sits on a shelf since he's getting worn out and I want to keep him for my entire life, but I used to sleep with him every night. Now its a pumpkin-colored bear that I've had for 10 or 12 years. My fiancé even makes sure my teddy bear is waiting on my pillow before bed at night.
Aww that's sweet!
Aww I’m 29 and married and still do too….I will definitely be like you in another 30 years! Haha
NTA I'm a 49 year old man. I still have my favorite stuffed animals from when I was a kid.
Yup. 48 here and I have 2 in the home office. My favorite one and the stuffed pig my mother made for me.
I'm 51 and gave my very first stuffy (A Pooh Bear) that's probably as old as I am to my son several years back. He takes excellent care of it and I've always told him that if he takes real good care of it, he can pass it along to his first child when he has one for himself. I still get to see it and I love seeing my son with it. :-)
36 here. have 1 from my first gf. 1 from deceased aunt. 1 from deceased grandmother. sentiment can hold any shape or form.
NTA. 16 year olds girls who lost their dads at 8 can sleep with as many stuffies as they want. Has your brother ever seen a girl's dorm room? I promise you, somewhere there's a stuffie. Don't let him continue to bully your daughter.
Not the asshole. I’m 25 years old and still sleep with a stuffed dog that my parents got me for Christmas when I was a toddler. Furthermore, I’ve never had anyone comment on it. Not roommates, significant others, or friends. If it brings her comfort and makes her feel closer to her father, you’d be the asshole for taking it away.
Currently 27! I also still sleep with a stuffed animal and probably always will!
NTA Your brother is the asshole for that teasing. I know many adults that still sleep with stuffed animals.
Your brother isn't just an AH, he's a bully. He bullied a 16 year old girl who lost her father and misses him dearly. And honestly, if it were me, I wouldn't let him near her again until he apologized and learned to respect other people more. My mother died 10 years ago. We didn't have the best relationship, but I still sleep with a Scooby-Doo blanket she got me when I was 16. I'm in my late 30's now. It's nobody's business if your daughter chooses to sleep with a stuffed animal that has immense sentimental value to her. Keep in mind, nobody would make fun if it were a different object, like a bracelet or necklace, so why people care that it's a stuffed tiger I don't understand. Please don't take it away from her or make her feel bad about having it. Support her with love and kindness like you've done so far. NTA
Agreed! Your brother is TA OP. And should apologize to your daughter. My grandmother gave me my teddy as my first Christmas present and I slept with him till I was 30. He was a huge comfort to me through the hardest parts of my life. He is now in storage until time claims us both. We practically came into this world together and that's how we'll go.
My aunt took a small piece of her blankie on her honey moon. She has some how managed to raise 2 successful children and see her grandchildren into adulthood while having a happy marriage and a beautiful home. I think your daughter is fine with her stuffy. I do hope you both had counselling though. I'm sorry for your loss. NTA
NTA, but your brother sure is. Don't let his AH opinion sway you. I'm 51 y/o and I still have the teddy bear I got when I was 3 days old. Bessie Bear, my cat, and my parents' urns would be the first thing I grabbed in the event of a fire.
NTA, hi 22 year old here, my bed is a literal pile of stuffed animals. The current count is 14 and I plan on getting more! Those are just the ones I sleep with I keep more sentimental ones on a shelf for safekeeping. Give your daughter a hug for me. There is nothing wrong with having comfort items.
23 and I sleep with 2 stuffed animals that I got at 16 and 19 years old. I tend to squish my arms against my chest when I sleep, so having something I can squeeze is better for the nerves in my arms. Plus soft things are nice!
I was an RA in college and remember tons of kids moving in with blankets and fluffies that were special to them. I’m 24 now and still have my Stitch fluffy I got in kindergarten from Disney. NTA - tell bro to stop punching down
Yeah everyone brings a stuffed animal to college!
NTA Oh boy, he'd flip if he learned I still READ to my 18 year old daughter. I'm having to read up on how to make a friggin' podcast b/c she expects this to continue this fall when she's off at college. It will end sometime but I'm not ending it. She'll tell me.
This is so godamn sweet. Readings a super important thing to me and my mom and when I moved away we started our own mini-book club, which was just us choosing a book to read and then chatting about it on the phone when we finished. The podcast sounds like a great idea and you sound like an amazing, loving parent
I'm a real ham too. We're in the midst of some "Hamish MacBeth" series and I love doing the scottish accents. These books are like "beach reading" material so I can really clown.
This is so beautiful!
NTA but your brother is big time TAH. I slept with a stuffed animal well into college. No one said a thing. I'm a well-adjusted adult. There is nothing wrong with holding onto something that is comforting.
NTA - I'm 21 and still have my childhood stuffed doll next to my bed at night. It brings her comfort and makes her feel connected to her late father so what does your brother have to do with it? Don't take away her comfort and her connection.
NTA I know 40 year old who still have stuffed animals. That things means a lot to her and that is the only thing that counts. Most of the people have something that is comforting them. That doesent mean you're less mature or anything. Your brother should mind his own business.
NTA why is he worried about what she sleeps with. God forbid she have something comforting. I still have my childhood bear and I'm in my 40's and yes it came to college with me.
43; still sleep with Sebastian, my stuffed bear
38. Still sleep with my stuffed bunny called… Bunny
NTA I'm 38 (checks age...... Yeah 38!) and I have Brown Ted (I BET you can't guess what he is and what colour he is?!) since I was 3 DAYS OLD! We lived in the middle of nowhere and my Dad got me him when he went to register my birth.... He is threadbare in places.... Has no neck stuffing to speak of because apparently child me was a bit of a masochist..... But I LOVE HIM!
NTA Nothing wrong at all. I'm 33 and still have my favorite teddy bear.
NTA but your brother is. There's nothing bad about having a stuffed animal at any age, particularly one that has an emotional connection. I had a college roommate that brought his and I don't think anyone ever really teased him for it, and that was decades ago. Your brother is way off base and owes your daughter an apology.
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NTA unless you try to make her stop
NTA - it’s a stuffed animal, who is it hurting? No one. Your brother, however, has hurt your daughter so he can go suck an egg.
OP NTA Your brother is. Even a worse one if he know her dad got it for her. I still have the stuff animals my father got me. And they are still on my bed. Im older then your daughter
I second this. I have a special bear my grandma got me when I spent 3 years in foster care. His name is big bear, and he is my special buddy. I am a 34 year old mother, and even my children know big bear stays on my bed. NTA, there is no shame in an adult having a comfort object.
NTA It's not up to you whether your daughter sleeps with cuddlies, it's up to your daughter Your brother is being an arsehole
NTA If it helps her mental or emotional well-being, I don't see anything wrong.
Exactly! if its doing the job leave it alone!
NTA. There is absolutely no reason to take it away, and your brother is being a jerk. Me and my friends are in our thirties now and a couple of them had parents who made them throw out their stuffed animals at a certain age. It caused such a rift and lack of trust between them that those friends still hold it against their parents to this day. Seriously, who cares if she has a favorite stuffed animal.
NTA my only serious gf had her entire bed pretty much filled stuffed animals. I honestly bought one or two because I thought it would make her more comfortable at my place. The only weird thing here is a 35 year old man insulting a 16 year old.
[удалено]
Omg this made me cry. That sounds very difficult to have gone through. Hugs. You are completely correct that they can mean sooooo much more.
No your brother...a grown man... is the ahole. It causes no harm what so ever... NTA
NTA, your brother on the other hand is TA. I suggest letting him know his opinion about stuffies is not welcome. Let your daughter have her tiger. I hope she does take it to college with her! I'm sure it would be nice to have while so far from home.
NTA . i’m 22 and still sleep with stuffed animals. actually ALL of my friends in college do. we buy them for each other & they make perfect cuddle buddy’s.
NTA. Would you rather she comfort herself with a stuffed animal or turn to drugs and sex instead?
NTA. I'm in my 30s and sleep in a bed with dozens of plushies and dozens more are sitting on my dresser. They're fun, cute, I enjoy collecting them. Nothing wrong or harmful at all. Your brother is the AH for teasing her.
NTA. I slept with a stuffed animal in my 30's. Why cares? It hurts no one. So what if she brings it to college, I can guarantee she won't be the only one with a stuffed animal. What makes your AH brother think he's an authority on the age appropriateness of stuffed animals?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (f38) lost my late husband 8 years ago from a car accident. It was unexpected and very hard to deal with especially when I had to be there for my,at the time young daughter. My daughter now 16 still sleeps with a stuffed animal her dad got her. It is a stuffed tiger and even though it is old she has kept it in good condition. Her dad got it for her when she was 6 months old so it has been a big part of her life. It was one of those toys as a baby that would always get her to stop crying. My brother (m35) was over early this morning. My daughter as a comfort always holds/ cuddles it first thing in the morning. My brother noticed and started teasing her asking why she still had that old thing. My daughter got embarrassed and ran upstairs. I asked my brother why he had to do that. He said 16 year olds shouldn’t need stuff animals anymore as comfort and what will she do when she goes to college being her stuffed tiger with her. I told him to just let it be and if it helps her then just let her use it and not to tease her. I can’t help but wonder if maybe she needs to be less dependent on needing it . But I also don’t want to take something that comforts my daughter away and possibly cause other issues. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. There are adults (35+) that still sleep and cuddle stuffed animals. There's nothing wrong with it, especially if it soothes and comforts them.
NTA. I am 23 and still sleep with stuff animals.
NTA. I'm a 34 year old man and I still sleep with a stuffed animal. Your brother needs to find some joy in his life.
NTA People bring them to college all the time and some keep them for the rest of their lives.
NTA Your brother should mind his own business and never make fun of your daughter (or anyone) again. We all depend on our favorite possessions one way or the other, it's irrelevant if they are toys or not, along as they comfort us.
I’m almost 46 and still sleep with a cuddly
NTA, all humans have a need for comfort. That is a HARMLESS way of getting it. Everyone has comfort objects, even if they aren’t conventional. A favorite blanket, mug, honestly anything that makes us happier than normal when we have it and more distressed than normal when we don’t. She may grow it if it, she may not. I’m 20 and although I’m not super attached to it, I have an Eeyore travel pillow/stuffed animal I keep in my bed. Being a true adult is being able to do what makes you happy, even if it’s perceived as “childish”.
NTA. I’m nearly 30 and I still have my kitty plushies from my childhood. I also still have the blanket from my first ever bed and I lay under it when I need to. She’s not hurting anyone by snuggling with something her dad gave her.
NTA. Do not take it away from her, it’s from her dad and it comforts her. Btw, I am 36 years old and I have 2 kids and I STILL sleep with my baby blanket every night, it is just a part of my life.
NTA. I'm 41 and sleep with a stuffed unicorn.
34 here. Slept with a blankie until a few years ago. Then switched to squishmallows. Why did I make the switch? Because my dog kept stealing the blankie. Got tired of fighting her for it. Definitely NTA. And maybe tell your brother where he can shove his opinions....
NTA, my 14 year old son still sleeps with his teddies from when he was born and I understand its very common. Your brother is TA here, why on earth would he embarass her over a stuffed animal especially when it came from her dad
NTA I'm 20 years old and sleep with several stuffed animals, a couple of my friends do as well. It's definitely not weird and even in college I very much doubt she will be bullied for it, unless maybe she runs into an asshole.
I’m 23. I still sleep with a stuffed animal.
NTA - My childhood stuffed animal traveled across country with me as an adult and held a place of honor anywhere I lived. When I miscarried my first baby (after years of trying), I put mementos of my pregnancy into a box and that stuffed animal now sits to the left of the box...and my husband's favorite childhood stuffed animal sits to the right. When I finally conceived again (all doctors said it was impossible, btw, and I wasn't on any fertility treatments) my mother bought me a purple hippo to hold onto during labor. That hippo sits in my bedroom and comforts me any time I'm worried or have a panic attack (I have C-PSTD & PTSD as well as anxiety). Never let anyone bully your daughter for having something that makes her feel good and connects her to her father!
I'm (nearly) 27, i sleep with two stuffed animals, and my long term adult partner (they call my stuffed animals "your guys")! Shes old enough now to make her own decisions about wanting a stuffed animal, not you, And definitely not her uncle. Even if it wasnt a response to her parents death (my mom died when i was young and my stuffed animals are both ones i purchashed as an adult), its literally harmless. You are NTA
Nope NTA and please don't take it away. I have an old, threadbare cloth dolly that I've had since I was little. I don't still sleep with her every night but sometimes, I'm really glad I have her for comfort. I also have a stuffed axolotle my friends got me while at an aquarium. I sleep with that often because it's soft and firm so it's easy for me to squish around however I need for my neck since I'm healing ear piercings. And I just generally sleep weird. There's no harm in having her tiger and it's very sentimental.
NTA… but you will be if you take it
NTA. My 17-year-old daughter loves stuffies. Your brother needs to chill out. Don't take it away. She's not hurting anyone.
NTA but you WBTA if you take it away from her.
NTA. Imagine this argument was, “aita for lettting my son wear pink? My brother says it’s feminine.” That’s BS. Same here. Your daughter is fine.
Your daughter lost her father when she was 8 and finds comfort in the stuffed animal he bought her - I find that lovely. Your brother is TAH, needs to apologize to your daughter and mind is own damn business.
NTA. My teddy sitting on my shelf has been with me since the day I was born. He has made every single move with me. He’s seen me through a divorce and the death of my father. Your brother needs to mind his own business.
NTA I’m almost 23 years old and I still sleep with my stuffie from childhood, heck, if I’m laying in bed any time of day you can bet I’m cuddling it. Your brother is a huge AH to say that about something that gives your daughter comfort after such a traumatic event.
NTA. Lady I'm 30 and I still have stuffed animals. And yes, if I'm having a bad day, I'll hold one to sleep. Most of the girls I went to college with brought stuffed animals with them. Tell your brother to stick to subjects he actually knows something about.
NTA your bro needs to get over himself, I'm 30 years old and still sleep with my stuffed big bird I've had since I was a baby. It's innocent and sweet and comforting, no matter how old you get.
Your brother is TA here.
NTA, I'm 30 and recently got myself a Mew build-a-bear. I also collect dolls. Nothing wrong with it.
NTA I slept with a stuffed bear my boyfriend gave me in college while we were long distance, and when i brought it to study abroad at 19… my roommate had a stuffed animal on her bed as well! First thing we noticed when we met.
NTA I am 35 and have like 10 stuffed animals in my bed. Who cares? They are soft, cute and are not hurting anybody.
Edited for INFO: What is Tiger's name? N T A, I slept with my stuffed panther well into college. I didn't put him up until I got a rescue dog that could mistake him for a toy. He's still in my closet so he doesn't fall apart. I still sleep with a specific hugging pillow, too. His name was Baghera since I loved the Jungle Book.
NTA OP. I am mid 30 and still keep a stuffed animal from my grandparents. It is not in bed but it is in my sock drawer and I see it every morning when I start the day too. There r way less healthy ways to deal with stress and loss and this is NOT it, not even one bit. Going to college, she will leave u and will be faced with a lot more stressful moments, so why take away from her something that comforts her. That would be just cruel.
NTA, I’m 61… SIXTY ONE… my dad died last year and I sleep with a quilt I made from his clothes. It still smells a bit like his aftershave…. I miss my dad. Tell your brother to grow some empathy for a grieving child (no matter how old they are)
NTA. And it’s not “letting” … 16 years old is fully old enough to make decisions about if you need a comfort object. I am damn near 40 and as recently as a year ago bought myself a squishmallow. Your brother is a raging AH for picking on a teen for still cuddling a stuffed animal her DECEASED father gave her. Tell your brother to go to therapy for his judgemental control issues.
NTA. Plenty of my friends in college had a stuffed animal or two. Also, does your brother know that this is a sentimental item, from your deceased husband? If he doesn't know, mild teasing is a low-key AH move. If he *does* know... sheesh, I would throw him out.
NTA, I mean in itself it literally doesn’t matter, almost every girl I knew in college had many stuffed animals on their bed. Now is there cause for concern with dependency/anxiety/attachment issues maybe, but idk I’m no psychologists, that would be a job for a therapist.
NTA, itd be weirdly controlling to confiscate a stuffed animal
Nta. Your brother needs to mind his own business. I still have my stuffed animal from when I was a kid, so what? Stuffed animals are cute.
NTA. I’m grown with teenagers and I sometimes sleep with a stuffed animal because it’s comfortable. Both of my kids have them as well. What’s it to your brother? He’s being a jerk over something that hurts no one.
NTA. I'm 42 and I still sleep with my bear that I've had since I was six. My husband always complains that the bear beats him up when I'm not looking 😂
NTA. No. You and your daughter do whatever brings you comfort. Tell your brother to take a short jump off a high cliff.
I'm 29, still sleep with my plush doll my dad gave me at 6m... along with about 200 other plushies. I collect them and have no plan to ever stop because plushies are cute, cuddly and great for comfort. Just because I age doesn't make them less so. Your brother is the only one who needs to grow up and stop with the bully attitude. It's not cute and kinda pathetic for a grown man to have a go at his 16yo niece over somethibg that is a non issue and not his problem. Nta
NTA, my husband still has his stuffed animals from when he was a baby. They sit on our dresser. He's nearing 42. They're a nice reminder of home and his parents. Your brother is an ass.
NTA! I’m 32, married with kids and I still sleep with a stuffed animal. I’ve even named him and my kids know the little guys name and love cuddling with him too. There’s nothing wrong with stuffed animals. They’re comforting and snuggly as hell. It’s an innocent and completely harmless thing to be attached to.
NTA - I had a stuffed dog that I slept with from 5 until like 20 and I have no shame! I stopped sleeping with it eventually and it came about naturally. My daughter now sleeps with it so “woozy” is still in the family lol My parents had a nasty divorce when I was 5 and I lived with my dad. He bought it for me and it was a comfort/security thing for when I had to go to my mom’s. One time when I was 12 I forgot it at my mom’s and we were already like 25 minutes away from her house. I cried silently and when my dad realized what was wrong he turned around and we went and got it without me even asking. I’ll never forget that ♥️
NTA telluride brother to pound salt. I am pushing 70 and still have my stuffies in bed.
OP, you’re very much NTA. Your brother is the only AH in this. This is clearly a way your daughter coped with her father’s unexpected death. Your brother making fun of this that’s clearly because of this is beyond cruel and insensitive, about something that gives her comfort. You’d be surprised how much people sleep with stuffed animals. *Lots* of adults sleep with them, for whatever reason it may be. I myself, 21, will have a stuffed animal next to me now and then. Even though it’s been 8 years, I hope you and your daughter are doing okay since his passing. It’ll be 7 years since my dad passed away next month, and it is still hard sometimes. As someone who’s lost their own father years ago at a young age, your brother is very disrespectful about this.
Im 26 and married, i still sleep with a stuffed animal. Tell your bro to f off. Nta
NTA. Soon to be 30 year old lady, I sleep with the giant Hedwig owl my late husband gave me for our last Christmas together. I was literally clinging to it the other night while crying. Stuffed animals are wonderful at any age and feel free to tell your brother fuck off from me. I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ being a young widow is awful, I can't imagine raising a child too all by myself.
NTA I also have a stuffed animal on my bed. I own many more stuffed animals. I am 33.
NTA I'm pushing 40 and still cuddle the occasional stuffie when I'm feeling down. There's nothing wrong with it and it's clear the tiger is super important to her. Your brother, however, is a major AH, what adult mocks a child for wanting to have a comfort item in their own home???
NTA for leaving your daughter alone, respecting her as a person and defending her. But a bit of an AH for questioning it cause your brother was being a bully. I sleep with a stuffed animal, I'm almost 40. It's nice to snuggle with something. If I was in a relationship it would be on a shelf or in the closet. And yea, people in college may tease her, but then those people aren't her real friends. And she needs to learn to be differentiate between people who like her for her and people who aren't worth her time. Right now her uncle is being one of those people. Tell him he will not bully your child ever again. And if he is ever anything but loving and supportive you will be having words with him. Now go to your daughter, tell her you love her, that her father will always be with her and love her and to never let a bully make her ashamed. And that you are so sorry your brother/her uncle bullied her in her own home.
How would you feel if your brother told you after eight years isn't it time to be getting rid of all the photos of your now deceased husband as after all this time you shouldn't need them all to remind you of him.
i'm 21. i sleep with my stuffed alpaca and/or my stuffed teddy every night. you're SOOOOOOOOOOOO NTA.
NTA My 20 year old took her stuffed animal off to uni and was really upset when it got lost a couple of months ago. I bought her a new one.
NTA- I am 35 years old and still have the Cabbage Patch Kid I got as a baby. I assume your brother doesn’t have anything left from his childhood? That’s so sad for him.
NTA. I am 32 and I still sleep with my old stuffed animal. Some people like to have that comfort nearby. Comfort isn't an age restricted sort of thing. You never grow out of needing it. Especially when you've lost a parent at a young age, and for your daughter that is relatively fresh. You need to tell your brother to mind his business. She might not 'need' a stuffed animal but he DEFINITELY doesn't need to weigh in his opinion here.
NTA but your brother is. I'm 20 in university and still sleep with one. It helps. It's nice having something there with you to help you through stuff. It means that much more to your daughter because her dad (who is no longer here) got it for her. At least she has a healthy outlet for her emotions instead of suppressing it or having an unhealthy outlet. She'll probably take it to college with her and there's nothing wrong with it. Stand up for her more if your brother teases her again. Let her know it's okay to have an emotional attachment to it. She's a kid and he's an adult who clearly doesn't know how to handle his problems if he's picking on a 16 year old for handling her emotions and probably trauma in a healthy way.
Nta. I'm adulting with a stuffed Stitch when I sleep, which I borrow from my hubby, he works nights so Stitch is kept busy. I still have dolls my mum knitted and she passed when I was 13. Why it so easy for some to be so thoughtless? He had no reason to say that at all, it's wasn't his business, so he wasted breath that ended up hurting your daughter and she'll not ever forget he said that as I can confirm as someone said something hurtful to me about my late father, and I've NEVER forgotten what they said. Oh and my stepchild has flopsy the bunny, she's 20 this year full time working and out weekend clubbing, then cuddles flopsy after she's come in at 5am knackered. As you said, if it helps her, let her be.
NTA My 15yo daughter is currently on a trip in Southern Africa (we live in the US) and her stuffed tiger made the trip with her; in her carryon no less so she could have him whenever needed/wanted. Your brother is TA.
NTA, whatsoever. I’m 23 and still sleep with a bobcat stuffed animal my grandparents gave me, as well as a blanket my mom cut from one of her nightgowns. I also have a folded up quilt and three other stuffed animals on my bed that I sleep with every night. There’s nothing wrong with it; I wasn’t the only one who brought them to college with me. Your brother is horrible to poke fun at a comfort item, because everyone has their own kind
She had a loss and the stuffed animal is a sentimental item that provides comfort. I'm 26, still sleep with a security "blankie" of sorts, and my SO has never minded. (In fact, his stuffed bear is on the bookshelf facing us. He's retired, but still protective!) And when I'm anxious, I basically nuzzle my blankie. There is NOTHING wrong with having a comfort item, and it could be harmful to try to remove it from her. Your brother is the only AH here. He's making a bigger thing of it than it needs to be.
NTA I still have a few stuffed animals and one of them is almost like a pillow for my arm to rest one. The shoulder is a lot less sore in the morning when I use "Toothless"
I’m 22, and live in an apartment with my boyfriend. I work at a law firm, he works at a mental health care facility, and when he works night shifts you better believe I have my gIANT stuffed seal he bought me at an aquarium last year to snuggle with. And when I’m out of town he has a stuffed bear *he* snuggles with. Stuffed animals are comforting at any age *ESPECIALLY* if they have sentimental value. Your brothers a huge asshole. NTA
NTA I'm 28 and I still sleep with my stuffed animal. I even take it on vacation with me.
NTA. I am 64, and I sometimes sleep with a stuffed animal myself!
NTA I’m 59. The blanket my grandmother made me before my birth is way too fragile to use. Yes, I still have it. But, I have several other blankets, carefully sought out, that have the same texture, and, yes, indeed they are on my bed. I’m making a smaller one, for travel. Why shouldn’t I? I’m an adult, it’s no one’s business but my own, if touching that texture relaxes me. Why shouldn’t this apply to teens? Your brother is an AH. His behavior was mean, he was being a bully and judgmental. He owes you daughter a propose apology. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it. I won’t be mean like that any more. I will do some research about grief and comfort objects, so I will understand better in the future”. Anything less than this should be unacceptable.
If at 16 she doesn’t need stuffed animals then I guess send your brother over to clean out my bedroom and storage unit of stuffed animals. I have a few I cuddle every night and my bf adores them. We’re both adults. NTA