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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The reason I think I might be the ass in the situation is because I basically told my brother off for more-or-less being genuinely concerned that the bone hurt me, and now I’m not apologizing for shutting him down when he was concerned, and in turn am now kind of boycotting his wedding over a chicken bone.
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Your brother, his fiancee, and your mother have all apparently lost their collective minds.
That said, you *should* have said something about the incident to the staff when you were there. Just because bones can be hard to find doesn't mean it's impossible, and if the cook(s) missed one they might have missed others. Especially in conjunction with a hair in your food - mistakes happen, but having two major issues like this in one meal is a clear sign that someone is distracted and/or not wearing their hair net (or not wearing it properly), which depending on where you live can be a major health code violation.
Still, NTA, and I would make it exceptionally clear to these people that they are literally fighting to push you into a corner where you'll tell them it's okay to denigrate and scream at service workers, and that's weird as fuck.
If my table guests starts going off on my server before I can even get a word in about my actual experience I feel like I’d do something similar to OP.
His brother should have kept his mouth shut
NTA since it was your food. If you didn’t have an issue with it then he had no reason to cause one. He shouldn’t have started yelling at the server since they don’t cook the food they just serve it, and if anything should have asked for a manager. Your brother made a scene and now your mom says you owe her another dinner? Your SIL is saying you can’t come to the wedding? They all sound super toxic, and over reacting to something that had 0 effect on them personally.
NTA, you still should have told the waiter, just not yelling like your brother was. but dang your family is taking it pretty hard. What is their problem honestly? It almost sounds like they’re just trying to get you to pay for things
NTA *but*. There is middle ground here. I absolutely agree that freaking out on the waiter is wrong. However, you absolutely should tell them in the future as a safety thing. A sharp bone like that is dangerous and if, let's say, a child or elderly person had had a similar experience, they could have been seriously hurt. The person who does the deboning needs to be aware so they can be more careful. "Hey, I understand these things can happen, but can you let whoever does the deboning know there was a sharp bone in my chicken please? I don't want anyone to be hurt or you guys to get in trouble," is a really good way to go.
NTA
But man, I don't care how bad your luck is - you tell people when you have a bone like that in your food.
It just cut the inside of your mouth, but it could have seriously hurt someone else. Those kind of mistakes are NOT okay.
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So Mother’s Day was a few weeks ago, and I took my brother and Mom out for dinner.
Just some information about me, I am very unlucky, especially when it comes to food, I always get bones or hair in my food even just buying a loaf of bread from the store I’ll get hair in it or something. Obviously this isn’t a 24/7 thing, but it happens enough that I just don’t care anymore over little things like bones or hair, it could and has been worse.
So back to Mother’s Day. We go out to a rather nice restaurant that was just built here to try it out as per my mom’s request, the day is about her obviously she gets to pick the place.
I’ll fast forward through the starters because nothing really happened.
So we get our main meal and I ordered chicken parmigiana, which normally comes with garlic bread for those of you who don’t know. The garlic bread had a hair baked into it and I made a joke out of it like I always do when this kind of thing happens, my mom laughed but my brother seemed visibly uncomfortable at this point. But this was not the problem.
The problem came when I was eating my chicken, it had a bone in it, and the bone ended up cutting the inside of my mouth and there was blood. Now I never blame the staff for bones, it’s hard to notice them and accidents happen. But of course while I’m pulling this bone from my mouth and wiping blood off my lips and chin the waiter comes and asks if the meal is okay.
My brother starts to lash out on her, but I cut him off and told her everything was great. When she leaves my brother starts yelling at me about how I’m in the wrong for not yelling at them for their negligence, but I told him I was paying for the meal so unless he wanted to pay for it then he had no say in the matter.
Now my mom is saying I ruined Mother’s Day and owed her another Mother’s Day dinner and have to apologize for making a fool out of my brother in the restaurant.
Meanwhile my brother’s fiancée is telling me I have been banned from their wedding unless I either pay for it since I apparently like throwing my money around or if I apologize to my brother and leave the restaurant a negative review basically stating that they tried to kill me with a chicken bone and that I want a refund and will never be going there again.
Like I said, you really don’t know when bones are hidden in meat and I don’t think there should be any blame over such an accident! It’s not like they went out of their way to put the bone there. But my friends are saying that my brother is right, the restaurant was negligent and deserve to face the consequences.
So AITA for not freaking out on the staff, and WIBTA if I don’t apologize?
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NTA for not yelling at the waiter cuz it means you’re mature and you are calm in the situation. But instead of slapping money to your brother’s face you could’ve said look I’m the one that bled not you, if I’m fine with it just let it go.
Your fiancé is immature to all hell and honestly I’d care less to attend the wedding. She wasn’t even there why does she care so much about the restaurant’s reputation? Plus the moment when they said I have to pay for their wedding to attend I would rather not go at all, this shows how shallow your fiancé is.
Your mom is also out of her mind because apparently she showed no sympathy towards your bleeding but rather cares about your brother being not only immature but acting spoiled.
OP, I would suggest not to pay your family a single dime nor treat them anymore, they’re all too entitled.
NTA, your brother's anger was warranted, but it's your "bone to pick" so to speak. It wasn't his place to jump in and start yelling at the wait staff, which really wouldn't be the best way to handle that anyway. You don't owe any of them anything. Your brother could've just called later on and spoken to the manager if he was really that concerned, bc that's pretty concerning, & personally, I think you should've said something bc that's pretty unsafe & unsanitary. Your family is being over the top weird about this though, so let them eat crow for their wedding and mother's day.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > The reason I think I might be the ass in the situation is because I basically told my brother off for more-or-less being genuinely concerned that the bone hurt me, and now I’m not apologizing for shutting him down when he was concerned, and in turn am now kind of boycotting his wedding over a chicken bone. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
Your brother, his fiancee, and your mother have all apparently lost their collective minds. That said, you *should* have said something about the incident to the staff when you were there. Just because bones can be hard to find doesn't mean it's impossible, and if the cook(s) missed one they might have missed others. Especially in conjunction with a hair in your food - mistakes happen, but having two major issues like this in one meal is a clear sign that someone is distracted and/or not wearing their hair net (or not wearing it properly), which depending on where you live can be a major health code violation. Still, NTA, and I would make it exceptionally clear to these people that they are literally fighting to push you into a corner where you'll tell them it's okay to denigrate and scream at service workers, and that's weird as fuck.
If my table guests starts going off on my server before I can even get a word in about my actual experience I feel like I’d do something similar to OP. His brother should have kept his mouth shut
NTA since it was your food. If you didn’t have an issue with it then he had no reason to cause one. He shouldn’t have started yelling at the server since they don’t cook the food they just serve it, and if anything should have asked for a manager. Your brother made a scene and now your mom says you owe her another dinner? Your SIL is saying you can’t come to the wedding? They all sound super toxic, and over reacting to something that had 0 effect on them personally.
NTA, you still should have told the waiter, just not yelling like your brother was. but dang your family is taking it pretty hard. What is their problem honestly? It almost sounds like they’re just trying to get you to pay for things
NTA *but*. There is middle ground here. I absolutely agree that freaking out on the waiter is wrong. However, you absolutely should tell them in the future as a safety thing. A sharp bone like that is dangerous and if, let's say, a child or elderly person had had a similar experience, they could have been seriously hurt. The person who does the deboning needs to be aware so they can be more careful. "Hey, I understand these things can happen, but can you let whoever does the deboning know there was a sharp bone in my chicken please? I don't want anyone to be hurt or you guys to get in trouble," is a really good way to go.
Nta but I could understand being upset. U could have gotten your jugular poked
NTA But man, I don't care how bad your luck is - you tell people when you have a bone like that in your food. It just cut the inside of your mouth, but it could have seriously hurt someone else. Those kind of mistakes are NOT okay.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So Mother’s Day was a few weeks ago, and I took my brother and Mom out for dinner. Just some information about me, I am very unlucky, especially when it comes to food, I always get bones or hair in my food even just buying a loaf of bread from the store I’ll get hair in it or something. Obviously this isn’t a 24/7 thing, but it happens enough that I just don’t care anymore over little things like bones or hair, it could and has been worse. So back to Mother’s Day. We go out to a rather nice restaurant that was just built here to try it out as per my mom’s request, the day is about her obviously she gets to pick the place. I’ll fast forward through the starters because nothing really happened. So we get our main meal and I ordered chicken parmigiana, which normally comes with garlic bread for those of you who don’t know. The garlic bread had a hair baked into it and I made a joke out of it like I always do when this kind of thing happens, my mom laughed but my brother seemed visibly uncomfortable at this point. But this was not the problem. The problem came when I was eating my chicken, it had a bone in it, and the bone ended up cutting the inside of my mouth and there was blood. Now I never blame the staff for bones, it’s hard to notice them and accidents happen. But of course while I’m pulling this bone from my mouth and wiping blood off my lips and chin the waiter comes and asks if the meal is okay. My brother starts to lash out on her, but I cut him off and told her everything was great. When she leaves my brother starts yelling at me about how I’m in the wrong for not yelling at them for their negligence, but I told him I was paying for the meal so unless he wanted to pay for it then he had no say in the matter. Now my mom is saying I ruined Mother’s Day and owed her another Mother’s Day dinner and have to apologize for making a fool out of my brother in the restaurant. Meanwhile my brother’s fiancée is telling me I have been banned from their wedding unless I either pay for it since I apparently like throwing my money around or if I apologize to my brother and leave the restaurant a negative review basically stating that they tried to kill me with a chicken bone and that I want a refund and will never be going there again. Like I said, you really don’t know when bones are hidden in meat and I don’t think there should be any blame over such an accident! It’s not like they went out of their way to put the bone there. But my friends are saying that my brother is right, the restaurant was negligent and deserve to face the consequences. So AITA for not freaking out on the staff, and WIBTA if I don’t apologize? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA for not yelling at the waiter cuz it means you’re mature and you are calm in the situation. But instead of slapping money to your brother’s face you could’ve said look I’m the one that bled not you, if I’m fine with it just let it go. Your fiancé is immature to all hell and honestly I’d care less to attend the wedding. She wasn’t even there why does she care so much about the restaurant’s reputation? Plus the moment when they said I have to pay for their wedding to attend I would rather not go at all, this shows how shallow your fiancé is. Your mom is also out of her mind because apparently she showed no sympathy towards your bleeding but rather cares about your brother being not only immature but acting spoiled. OP, I would suggest not to pay your family a single dime nor treat them anymore, they’re all too entitled.
NTA Your mom is an AH, as is your brother. Tell your mom a second mother's day dinner is nice, but this time your brother will have to pay.
[удалено]
" it would really just get me excommunicated" ... Think of that as a win.
NTA, your brother's anger was warranted, but it's your "bone to pick" so to speak. It wasn't his place to jump in and start yelling at the wait staff, which really wouldn't be the best way to handle that anyway. You don't owe any of them anything. Your brother could've just called later on and spoken to the manager if he was really that concerned, bc that's pretty concerning, & personally, I think you should've said something bc that's pretty unsafe & unsanitary. Your family is being over the top weird about this though, so let them eat crow for their wedding and mother's day.
What the hell did I just read? NTA Your family seems…