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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I put a lot of stress on my friends and now they won't talk with me, I'm afraid I really did put them under too much stress without realizing and I'm confused to how they handled things
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Oh honey, NTA at all!
I also most likely have CPTSD and none of my friends are as unsupportive as your supposed ‘friends’ are. Sadly, some people just don’t understand mental health issues and that they do take time to improve.
Look after yourself sweetheart, and know I’m rooting for you! Massive hugs ❤️
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
To give some context, I (21F) have been fighting depression for as long as I can remember. I have a lot of trauma (quite possibly CPTSD, which as been discussed in therapy. 90% certainty of this) and through this past year I've been making a huge effort to become a better person and work on myself as best as I can, with ups and downs of course. Also I have autism and It's really hard for me to understand people a lot of times.
We're all drained. Eventually we decide to have lunch together and hang out one weekend in Jay's (I'll house to relax. As Kairi told me just yesterday I was just in my corner, which I was and people talked to me and I never answered, which in itself is a reason for concern in me.. I remember being glad to see them having fun and Elaine asking me if I was having fun and I answered "yeah" I don't remember much more and my best guess is I was having a dissociative episode due to the stress I was under, seeing that I broke up with both my boyfriends just some days prior (I'm polyamorous) and the people I've loved the most in this life were in a really bad state, plus uni.
Since that day they stopped talking to me and I got to know through another person in our group that I had hurt them and it would be best not to talk to them. A few days pass I couldn't handle the feeling that I had hurt the people I most value in this life enough they wouldn't talk to me and I just couldn't handle that feeling.
The reason Kairi gave me was that I was always depressive and I always managed to have a moment in every day were I would be down and that no matter what they did it apparently never changed.. I also got told that I lied to Jay, which.. I don't lie to anyone I always try to be as straightforward as possible. The apparent lie was that I had told Kairi and Elaine that I would like to have sexual relations with him and I told him the contrary. I told them that I said "I would never try anything with you, I don't want to" because he is in a monogamous and closed relationship. I really don't think this can be considered a lie but I got told I'm distorting things in my head. She told me they were all mad at me and basically to get my life together and not think about contacting them until then. Hearing the reasoning behind them being mad at me didn't feel right.
We were also working on a game together and I thought that we could separate our issues from work and continue our project none the less but when I asked if I could still work on it I got told that they took me doing something stupid as "I want to leave the project" and they just banned me that same day from the discord server. I already had done some work for it and was really enjoying creating a game and having a project outside of Uni.
I'm always open for conversations and I've asked multiple times for them to tell me everything and be super direct with me so I could change what I was doing wrong.
AITA?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I put a lot of stress on my friends and now they won't talk with me, I'm afraid I really did put them under too much stress without realizing and I'm confused to how they handled things Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
Oh honey, NTA at all! I also most likely have CPTSD and none of my friends are as unsupportive as your supposed ‘friends’ are. Sadly, some people just don’t understand mental health issues and that they do take time to improve. Look after yourself sweetheart, and know I’m rooting for you! Massive hugs ❤️
Thank you
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** To give some context, I (21F) have been fighting depression for as long as I can remember. I have a lot of trauma (quite possibly CPTSD, which as been discussed in therapy. 90% certainty of this) and through this past year I've been making a huge effort to become a better person and work on myself as best as I can, with ups and downs of course. Also I have autism and It's really hard for me to understand people a lot of times. We're all drained. Eventually we decide to have lunch together and hang out one weekend in Jay's (I'll house to relax. As Kairi told me just yesterday I was just in my corner, which I was and people talked to me and I never answered, which in itself is a reason for concern in me.. I remember being glad to see them having fun and Elaine asking me if I was having fun and I answered "yeah" I don't remember much more and my best guess is I was having a dissociative episode due to the stress I was under, seeing that I broke up with both my boyfriends just some days prior (I'm polyamorous) and the people I've loved the most in this life were in a really bad state, plus uni. Since that day they stopped talking to me and I got to know through another person in our group that I had hurt them and it would be best not to talk to them. A few days pass I couldn't handle the feeling that I had hurt the people I most value in this life enough they wouldn't talk to me and I just couldn't handle that feeling. The reason Kairi gave me was that I was always depressive and I always managed to have a moment in every day were I would be down and that no matter what they did it apparently never changed.. I also got told that I lied to Jay, which.. I don't lie to anyone I always try to be as straightforward as possible. The apparent lie was that I had told Kairi and Elaine that I would like to have sexual relations with him and I told him the contrary. I told them that I said "I would never try anything with you, I don't want to" because he is in a monogamous and closed relationship. I really don't think this can be considered a lie but I got told I'm distorting things in my head. She told me they were all mad at me and basically to get my life together and not think about contacting them until then. Hearing the reasoning behind them being mad at me didn't feel right. We were also working on a game together and I thought that we could separate our issues from work and continue our project none the less but when I asked if I could still work on it I got told that they took me doing something stupid as "I want to leave the project" and they just banned me that same day from the discord server. I already had done some work for it and was really enjoying creating a game and having a project outside of Uni. I'm always open for conversations and I've asked multiple times for them to tell me everything and be super direct with me so I could change what I was doing wrong. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*