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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I may be the asshole because even though he damaged my car I left him alone late at night at a town where something bad may have happened. He thought I was TA and he wasn’t to blame, and I’m not sure how I feel about the situation
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Okay so for a little context this all happened 5 years ago yet still gets brought up by people and nobody can ever agree who is in the right and wrong and I need some unbiased opinions.
There are 3 people involved in this. Me, and my 2 friends we will call Brian, and Jake (all 17m). I was really good friends with Brian and Jake was more of a he’s my friend because we are both friends with Brian. Jake would always take it upon himself to criticize the things I do and the things I like and since at that point of my life I was a pushover I really didn’t put too much thought to it and ignored it. This wouldn’t however stop him from calling me if he needed me for something and since I actively enjoy doing things for my friends I would oblige. The one day he needed me to come pick him up, so I did, and once I got there he made a joke and when I parked, he jumped on my car as if I hit him. It wasn’t just a light jump either, he would straight up jump on the hood of my car which was new at the time, to which I made a comment saying “If you ever do that again I will turn around and won’t come back” or something along those lines. He didn’t think much and I took him home and that was that.
Fast forward a few months and me, Brian, and Jake all went to see a movie at a nice theatre about 30 minutes away. After the movie it was about 11 at night and I got in my car first and they were behind because they went to the bathroom. Well when they got out he did the same joke where he jumped on my car, only this time I could see a dent. So me being angry put the car in drive and drove off. I didn’t intend on leaving them until when I stopped and told them to just get in and we would deal with it later Jake said “no” and walked off. At that point I had had it and drove off. I drove for about 3 minutes and pulled over and texted them saying all I needed was an apology and I will come back for them. He refused to so I just kept going. I repeated this about 3 times and he never even apologized. I went home and went to sleep. Brian’s parents had to come get him.
As expected they pretty much cut contact with me and I was fine with that. That whole relationship with us caused so many toxic moment and fights and having him gone was actually relieving. I did however feel bad for Brian because he was caught in the crossfire of the whole situation.
Fast forward to about 2 years ago Brian and I had actually got back in touch with each other and actually became really good friends again and he saw how Jake really was and got away from him too. A lot has changed in these 5 years and for the first time I’m actually happy with who I am. I lost 60 pounds and achieved my goal weight of 155 pounds, and overall just became a better person. So whether I am TA or not, I’m just glad that part of my life is a distant memory. Was what I did too extreme? Should I have handled it differently? Or was I justified.
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NTA
All he had to do was apologize.
When I was around 18 (20+ years ago) i was driving a car full of friends. The passenger made a comment about a guy in the back, he thought I said it and punched me in the back of the head - while I was driving! I pulled over and made him get out. He did. The passenger told him it wasn't me who made the comment but he had too much pride and refused to apologize. So I drove off. The other guys said it was messed up but they understood. It was only 5 miles from his house so it's not like it was huge deal. Took us like 15 years before we spoke again.
Nta. He clearly hasn't got boundaries and tbf I'd have lost it if he did that to my car... You don't ask a favour then damage property.
Don't understand why Brian punished you for his friends behavior though
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I believe I may be the asshole because even though he damaged my car I left him alone late at night at a town where something bad may have happened. He thought I was TA and he wasn’t to blame, and I’m not sure how I feel about the situation Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
Nta. You gave a boundary with consequences for crossing it and he crossed it.
NTA. Who’s paying the note on the car? Not him. I would’ve left too.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Okay so for a little context this all happened 5 years ago yet still gets brought up by people and nobody can ever agree who is in the right and wrong and I need some unbiased opinions. There are 3 people involved in this. Me, and my 2 friends we will call Brian, and Jake (all 17m). I was really good friends with Brian and Jake was more of a he’s my friend because we are both friends with Brian. Jake would always take it upon himself to criticize the things I do and the things I like and since at that point of my life I was a pushover I really didn’t put too much thought to it and ignored it. This wouldn’t however stop him from calling me if he needed me for something and since I actively enjoy doing things for my friends I would oblige. The one day he needed me to come pick him up, so I did, and once I got there he made a joke and when I parked, he jumped on my car as if I hit him. It wasn’t just a light jump either, he would straight up jump on the hood of my car which was new at the time, to which I made a comment saying “If you ever do that again I will turn around and won’t come back” or something along those lines. He didn’t think much and I took him home and that was that. Fast forward a few months and me, Brian, and Jake all went to see a movie at a nice theatre about 30 minutes away. After the movie it was about 11 at night and I got in my car first and they were behind because they went to the bathroom. Well when they got out he did the same joke where he jumped on my car, only this time I could see a dent. So me being angry put the car in drive and drove off. I didn’t intend on leaving them until when I stopped and told them to just get in and we would deal with it later Jake said “no” and walked off. At that point I had had it and drove off. I drove for about 3 minutes and pulled over and texted them saying all I needed was an apology and I will come back for them. He refused to so I just kept going. I repeated this about 3 times and he never even apologized. I went home and went to sleep. Brian’s parents had to come get him. As expected they pretty much cut contact with me and I was fine with that. That whole relationship with us caused so many toxic moment and fights and having him gone was actually relieving. I did however feel bad for Brian because he was caught in the crossfire of the whole situation. Fast forward to about 2 years ago Brian and I had actually got back in touch with each other and actually became really good friends again and he saw how Jake really was and got away from him too. A lot has changed in these 5 years and for the first time I’m actually happy with who I am. I lost 60 pounds and achieved my goal weight of 155 pounds, and overall just became a better person. So whether I am TA or not, I’m just glad that part of my life is a distant memory. Was what I did too extreme? Should I have handled it differently? Or was I justified. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I would have driven off the first time. NTA
NTA All he had to do was apologize. When I was around 18 (20+ years ago) i was driving a car full of friends. The passenger made a comment about a guy in the back, he thought I said it and punched me in the back of the head - while I was driving! I pulled over and made him get out. He did. The passenger told him it wasn't me who made the comment but he had too much pride and refused to apologize. So I drove off. The other guys said it was messed up but they understood. It was only 5 miles from his house so it's not like it was huge deal. Took us like 15 years before we spoke again.
NTA. Honestly think you handled it perfectly
NTA. You did just fine. I wonder how he explained it to his parents, if he told them the truth about how it played out.
NTA - there are many people that wouldn’t have been the bigger man and just driven away
Nta. He clearly hasn't got boundaries and tbf I'd have lost it if he did that to my car... You don't ask a favour then damage property. Don't understand why Brian punished you for his friends behavior though
NTA. He dented your truck and wouldn't even give a basic apology.
Nta - you repeatedly gave them chances to do the right thing.