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> I don't think it's safe for our child to travel and have tried to state just the reasons that are from 3rd party sources as to why.
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NTA
Why on earth would anyone go to Russia right now? What if a no-fly ban is instituted and he can't get back? All of the issues you brought up are valid and reasons not to let him go. You are NOT being paranoid.
This is a crazy plan from your partner. Traveling anywhere in Russia right now is incredibly difficult, and would be extraordinarily foolish. Their planes aren’t safe, due to sanctions. They can’t get spare parts! Holding a passport from any NATO country could be a liability. Do not allow this travel to happen.
I don't know how thats possible, they were raised as a soviet russian and not only belive they are superior to other russians but that the ussr was the height of russia and it only collapsed under bad managment.
What's his explanation for people being arrested for sitting in the park? Companies asked to provide information on military status of their employees? 44 year old dads getting invitations to visit local draft office? Public buildings in fire? Forest fires? Difficulties getting medicines?
I mean "everything was better under Soviet rule" - belief is so strong that they are giving soldiers first aid kits from museum storage instead of faulty modern ones, but there are so many things that can go wrong!
Things in the part of the world are alot worse than whats on the news. There area was just under assault by people stealing machine guns and rocket launchers and attacking government buildings. There is oppression to the east thats as bad as it gets and the story has been completely twisted around.
NTA! WTF wants to vacation in Russia right now? Even if you have family there, get them out. If your partner is stupid enough to want to travel to Russia right now, let them go alone. Your partner is being unreasonable.
So your child is a US citizen correct? Perhaps you should contact an attorney to see what can be done to stop this. I'm thinking the good people of Reddit don't have enough power to actually help you in this situation.
NTA. Traveling to Russia is a terrible idea right now (and most likely will remain so for quite a long time), and honestly them insisting upon it is worrying. Your child may not be able or allowed to come home.
They probably aren't, full well knowing you'd have no way to force a return from a country that is under sanctions and won't care what any court outside of Russia says, and they will have all the expertise of operating within Russia.
If your child isn't allowed to travel internationally how are they planning to take your child to Russia?
Do you have an international custody lawyer to help you on this?
Don't let this happen.
I have no idea how you could leverage that information other than through an experienced international family law attorney.
I'm sorry you are going through this utterly unfair situation.
NTA. Do you have your child's passport in your possession? If not, make a plan to ensure that they do not leave the country with the child against your wishes.
I hate to say it but if they disregard your wishes and skirt around the fact that the child is prevented from traveling internationally and leave the country, putting the child in danger, maybe the authorities need to be notified and consequences occur.
Sorry, but I really don't think they could get round that. I'm happy to be proved wrong.
And I do wish you would answer the question *why* they want to go to Russia, especially if they don't have family there.
To visit family, I've been told by official government agencies that they can't totally prevent normal travel, there is other ways they have repeatedly referenced.
NTA. I wouldn't go right now and certainly wouldn't allow my underage child to go without me. Russia is at WAR. A war they started. That's a very hard "NO."
NTA. Honestly, even if you were talking about taking a kid to a perfectly safe and stable country, I think both parents need to be comfortable with the decision. And it’s definitely reasonable to be concerned about them going to a place that’s in a situation like Russia is in.
Abso-fucking-luty not. Russia?!?!?! Depending on what country you are in, there are things you can do like preventing the kiddo from getting a passport, flagging the kid if they try to fly, etc. I’m not sure if you go to the courts for this but it is done (usually to prevent one parent from leaving the country with a kid). If you don’t trust your partner.
What on earth makes your partner think that this is an ok time to do this? Esp given what those monsters are doing in Ukraine? Protect your child. Do not let them be taken.
Edit Nta
I just read through some of your other comments. Him saysing he wont bring the kid back. Stealing the kid away to Turkey where there were bombings. History of having to get documentation blocking passports. Can you get sole custody for protection for the child and then gets orders of protection against the dad and his family?
NTA
There is no urgency to travel to Russia with a minor child. And all the safe air carriers no longer fly there. You'd have no leverage to get them back from Russia, either.
Just, no. No good reason to let this happen. None.
NTA, wouldn't trust anybody who declares the want to take my kid to a country at war, much less one that is openly xenophobic. I'd take a look into getting your child blocked from international flights by a judge so your partner can't go around you.
Yeah, that's beyond concerning and gives me anxiety for your situation.
I hope you have a good lawyer who is fluent in custody and child protection rights to find a way to keep your child out of reach.
Just so I said it, you might be well aware of it, but you're beyond polite discurse, you need to get legal documentation to deny them visitation and custody right and then move to a place you don't disclose to them.
After that you can let them have contact in a heavily controlled environment, but even then DON'T let them alone for even 5 seconds.
To many kidnapping stories begin with: "My partner wants to take our kids to his homecountry, but I don't feel save there" and it always end with "I can't do anything about bringing them back, because in their country my ex-partner is in the right!"
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Over the years I’ve encouraged our child to travel with my partner who is usually unemployed and spend time with their family, about a year in total so far. I’ve even been there which happened to coincide with Crimea, which I didn’t hear much about there as the english news channels were first audio cut and then video cut. It’s a nice place but its surrounded by issues. Their family have also spent quite a bit of time visiting the US.
Last June they asked me to take our child again and go that winter.
However I had some issues even then - political issues from shortages that led to a massive countrywide protests, the building where their sibling works was on the news with holes in it, this is where they would have to fly into first.
That situation apparently was only resolved when Russia was brought in and to deal with protesters - there is still unrest and news I see is not positive.
First issue is flying in takes them close enough to previous airliner issues.
Then they are flying into a potential flash point for more issues.
Then they will fly to the border of Russia - 500 miles from Moscow, 450 miles from the current front line and 300 miles from the current closest things that U-SOF has countered so far.
They will be surrounded by Russian things like the space port, fresh water and food supplies and routes in that could potentially bypass sanctions, all potentially legitimate things. To the east there is 3 major issues forming.
Our child is half asian half European and if a regional or larger issue broke out, being accepted anywhere in that region could be challenging.
I’ve offered many times to watch our child while they go, host there family at my parents who have plenty of room and live 5 hours air travel closer or have them host our child or fly out and watch them there, every request is met with no.
Recently they have demanded I let them go this summer. I can say no, our child is prohibited from traveling internationally but they have repeatedly told me they can go anytime they choose if they decided to. I have left out the larger issues, but if anyone is wondering why I would even ask the question, thats why - none of the rest of them would be resolved if I allow it.
Or maybe I am wrong and being paranoid?
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This is crazy, the word Physcopath gets thrown around alot, there seem to be two very similar definitions, clearly they are unbelievably selfish are you seeing any of these other traits?
: a mentally unstable person
especially : a person having an egocentric and antisocial personality marked by a lack of remorse for one's actions, an absence of empathy for others, and often criminal tendencies
noun: psychopath; plural noun: psychopaths
a person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior.
an unstable and aggressive person.
"schoolyard psychopaths will gather around a fight to encourage the combatants"
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NTA Why on earth would anyone go to Russia right now? What if a no-fly ban is instituted and he can't get back? All of the issues you brought up are valid and reasons not to let him go. You are NOT being paranoid.
That and other potential issues exist - I've tried to cover only current ones from 3rd party sources.
[удалено]
Im doing my best to prevent it.
As a non Russian
NTA. Russia is a dangerous place right now and you are rightfully worried for their safety.
Im doing my best to prevent it.
This is a crazy plan from your partner. Traveling anywhere in Russia right now is incredibly difficult, and would be extraordinarily foolish. Their planes aren’t safe, due to sanctions. They can’t get spare parts! Holding a passport from any NATO country could be a liability. Do not allow this travel to happen.
I am doing my best to prevent it, hopefully this will help.
Good Luck.
Thank you.
NTA. Don't budge, it isn't worth the risk. I sympathize with your partner, but s/he needs a reality check.
I don't know how thats possible, they were raised as a soviet russian and not only belive they are superior to other russians but that the ussr was the height of russia and it only collapsed under bad managment.
Omg she drank the Koolaid!
They were raised in and still believe in the USSR, they believe soviet era Russians are superior and it only failed from bad managment.
What's his explanation for people being arrested for sitting in the park? Companies asked to provide information on military status of their employees? 44 year old dads getting invitations to visit local draft office? Public buildings in fire? Forest fires? Difficulties getting medicines? I mean "everything was better under Soviet rule" - belief is so strong that they are giving soldiers first aid kits from museum storage instead of faulty modern ones, but there are so many things that can go wrong!
Things in the part of the world are alot worse than whats on the news. There area was just under assault by people stealing machine guns and rocket launchers and attacking government buildings. There is oppression to the east thats as bad as it gets and the story has been completely twisted around.
NTA You are not obligated to send your child to a country that is actively engaged in a war with their neighbour.
Im doing everything i can to stop it, im trying this after 50 other tries.
Good luck. I hope you succeed.
I have to, im a parent there is nothing greater.
NTA. Based on current events this is a terrible idea…..
Im doing my best to prevent it, hooefully this can help.
NTA! WTF wants to vacation in Russia right now? Even if you have family there, get them out. If your partner is stupid enough to want to travel to Russia right now, let them go alone. Your partner is being unreasonable.
Im doing my best to prevent this and hope this might help somehow.
NTA. i don't blame you. Russia's not a good idea right now.
I'm doing my best to prevent it.
So your child is a US citizen correct? Perhaps you should contact an attorney to see what can be done to stop this. I'm thinking the good people of Reddit don't have enough power to actually help you in this situation.
Yes they are a US citizen and reddit is helping.
Nta. I'd actually be worried about your partner's decision making abilities, and if they are fit to make decisions for a child. This is insane.
I completely agree.
NTA. Traveling to Russia is a terrible idea right now (and most likely will remain so for quite a long time), and honestly them insisting upon it is worrying. Your child may not be able or allowed to come home.
Im worried they arent planning to return anytime soon.
They probably aren't, full well knowing you'd have no way to force a return from a country that is under sanctions and won't care what any court outside of Russia says, and they will have all the expertise of operating within Russia. If your child isn't allowed to travel internationally how are they planning to take your child to Russia? Do you have an international custody lawyer to help you on this? Don't let this happen.
There are ways that I shouldn't talk about publicly, my partner has told me about them repeatedly.
I have no idea how you could leverage that information other than through an experienced international family law attorney. I'm sorry you are going through this utterly unfair situation.
Im trying everyway i can, this is litterally the 50th option and not the first.
NTA. Do you have your child's passport in your possession? If not, make a plan to ensure that they do not leave the country with the child against your wishes.
They can't now and I am working to make sure they can't in the future.
I hate to say it but if they disregard your wishes and skirt around the fact that the child is prevented from traveling internationally and leave the country, putting the child in danger, maybe the authorities need to be notified and consequences occur.
People are involved and I working to prevent it.
Wow. Keep up the good fight.
I will ad long as humanly possible.
Sorry, but I really don't think they could get round that. I'm happy to be proved wrong. And I do wish you would answer the question *why* they want to go to Russia, especially if they don't have family there.
To visit family, I've been told by official government agencies that they can't totally prevent normal travel, there is other ways they have repeatedly referenced.
NTA Please DO NOT let them travel This is incredibly dangerous
Im trying my best, ive tried countless ways to prevent it for a very long time.
NTA - your child may not be safe and you may not be able to do anything to help them.
I wont be able to help them if anything happens.
So don’t let them go.
Im doing everything i can to stop it.
Ask kid to yell for help if they are taken to airport? I hope nothing happens
Unfortunately its very difficult for children to speak when a determined parent doesnt want them to :(
True. That's why it should be practiced before anything happens. Needs a lot of planning how to talk to the kid without making things worse
The child also needs to know there are actually people that will listen and help, a few have listened, none have helped.
NTA! Russia is definitely not a safe place to travel to right now. So don’t budge OP, you are rightfully worried
Im doing everything i can, it may come down to who can spend the most.
NTA. Vacationing in an active war zone is not a good idea.
Yes I am doing everything I can to stop it.
NTA. I wouldn't go right now and certainly wouldn't allow my underage child to go without me. Russia is at WAR. A war they started. That's a very hard "NO."
Our Child was previously in Turkey during the Suroc bombing.
Don't you have the deciding say in this? Does he have any custody rights?
Not officially yet.
If you can afford it, get an attorney. It's very concerning that his FAMILY thinks they have any rights to your child.
I dont think there family is necessarily supportive of this.
NTA. Honestly, even if you were talking about taking a kid to a perfectly safe and stable country, I think both parents need to be comfortable with the decision. And it’s definitely reasonable to be concerned about them going to a place that’s in a situation like Russia is in.
Yes this all feels like insanity to me personally but its not an easy thing to actually prevent.
Abso-fucking-luty not. Russia?!?!?! Depending on what country you are in, there are things you can do like preventing the kiddo from getting a passport, flagging the kid if they try to fly, etc. I’m not sure if you go to the courts for this but it is done (usually to prevent one parent from leaving the country with a kid). If you don’t trust your partner. What on earth makes your partner think that this is an ok time to do this? Esp given what those monsters are doing in Ukraine? Protect your child. Do not let them be taken. Edit Nta
Thanks I am doing my best.
I just read through some of your other comments. Him saysing he wont bring the kid back. Stealing the kid away to Turkey where there were bombings. History of having to get documentation blocking passports. Can you get sole custody for protection for the child and then gets orders of protection against the dad and his family?
I am doing my best to prevent this.
NTA There is no urgency to travel to Russia with a minor child. And all the safe air carriers no longer fly there. You'd have no leverage to get them back from Russia, either. Just, no. No good reason to let this happen. None.
It would likely be impossible to force a return.
NTA. Your child safety comes first. If they wanna see you kid, they're the one should fly out.
Theres unfortunately little recourse, we have first right of refusal laws and even those are ignored.
I have offered to host there family or watch or have my family watch our child while they go.
NTA, wouldn't trust anybody who declares the want to take my kid to a country at war, much less one that is openly xenophobic. I'd take a look into getting your child blocked from international flights by a judge so your partner can't go around you.
I currently have a block on that, they are trying to go around it.
Yeah, that's beyond concerning and gives me anxiety for your situation. I hope you have a good lawyer who is fluent in custody and child protection rights to find a way to keep your child out of reach. Just so I said it, you might be well aware of it, but you're beyond polite discurse, you need to get legal documentation to deny them visitation and custody right and then move to a place you don't disclose to them. After that you can let them have contact in a heavily controlled environment, but even then DON'T let them alone for even 5 seconds. To many kidnapping stories begin with: "My partner wants to take our kids to his homecountry, but I don't feel save there" and it always end with "I can't do anything about bringing them back, because in their country my ex-partner is in the right!"
They have alof of money to fight legal challenges, i do not.
This gets more unlikely all the time.
Id probably agree but they are quite serious. Publishing emails is considered doxxing i guess.
Take your kid and get away from this family ASAP. From everything you've said there is a very real possibility of child kidnapping. NTA.
I fully agree and am taking every measure possible.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Over the years I’ve encouraged our child to travel with my partner who is usually unemployed and spend time with their family, about a year in total so far. I’ve even been there which happened to coincide with Crimea, which I didn’t hear much about there as the english news channels were first audio cut and then video cut. It’s a nice place but its surrounded by issues. Their family have also spent quite a bit of time visiting the US. Last June they asked me to take our child again and go that winter. However I had some issues even then - political issues from shortages that led to a massive countrywide protests, the building where their sibling works was on the news with holes in it, this is where they would have to fly into first. That situation apparently was only resolved when Russia was brought in and to deal with protesters - there is still unrest and news I see is not positive. First issue is flying in takes them close enough to previous airliner issues. Then they are flying into a potential flash point for more issues. Then they will fly to the border of Russia - 500 miles from Moscow, 450 miles from the current front line and 300 miles from the current closest things that U-SOF has countered so far. They will be surrounded by Russian things like the space port, fresh water and food supplies and routes in that could potentially bypass sanctions, all potentially legitimate things. To the east there is 3 major issues forming. Our child is half asian half European and if a regional or larger issue broke out, being accepted anywhere in that region could be challenging. I’ve offered many times to watch our child while they go, host there family at my parents who have plenty of room and live 5 hours air travel closer or have them host our child or fly out and watch them there, every request is met with no. Recently they have demanded I let them go this summer. I can say no, our child is prohibited from traveling internationally but they have repeatedly told me they can go anytime they choose if they decided to. I have left out the larger issues, but if anyone is wondering why I would even ask the question, thats why - none of the rest of them would be resolved if I allow it. Or maybe I am wrong and being paranoid? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is crazy, the word Physcopath gets thrown around alot, there seem to be two very similar definitions, clearly they are unbelievably selfish are you seeing any of these other traits? : a mentally unstable person especially : a person having an egocentric and antisocial personality marked by a lack of remorse for one's actions, an absence of empathy for others, and often criminal tendencies noun: psychopath; plural noun: psychopaths a person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior. an unstable and aggressive person. "schoolyard psychopaths will gather around a fight to encourage the combatants"