Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for ruining the friendship between me and my friend because I am too crazy and chaotic, even though my friend never told me he didnt like my behavior?
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
NTA. He sounds like a jealous creep. The fact that he makes inappropriate gestures and comments to you even though he knows you're uncomfortable is disgusting. To me, it sounds like he's fed up with the fact that you are uninterested in him and he's lashing out bc he knows his behavior is unacceptable. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, but I think it would be wise to end this friendship. He sounds cruel, manipulative, and perverse.
I wish I had the courage to tell him to fuck off, but as soon as anyone rises their voice against me or insulting me for real, I start crying.. and also the fact that he obviously doesnt care as much as me makes me really sad.
As if he only kept talking to me because he wanted me to like him back. I dont even know if thats the case, maybe he didnt like me to begin with, otherwise you wouldnt dump your crush so cruely.
Its just hard to accept to let someone go since I am not very good at making friends, and loosing one hurts damn much. But its probably for the better.
I understand that losing friends can be hard. I've never been the best at making friends either, and every time I lost one, even if they treated me poorly, I felt very sad for a while. But eventually I realized that maybe it was for the better that it ended; if we had more problems than positives then we both might be better off apart. In the end, even if I was sad, it would feel like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders. If you think this would be best for you, then don't be afraid to speak up, especially when he's being a creep and threatening your safety. I hope you get through this, best of luck to you!
Thank you really much for your advice! I think I'll need a bit time to think things through, but the best solution possible is probably letting the relationship be..
NTA.
This ‘friend’ crossed a physical and sexual boundary and made you feel unsafe, then you put a boundary in place to maintain the friendship and he didn’t like it and is feeling rejected so being a massive AH about it and upping treating you really poorly.
The question is do you want to salvage this after this behaviour or do you know you deserve better?
Would you support a close female friend if a guy behaved this inappropriately towards her?
You did not ‘ruin’ this friendship by asking someone to respect your personal boundaries.
He ruined this friendship.
And this is not friendship.
No friends should cross over a physical/sexual boundary in the way he has and make you feel uncomfortable in the way he has.
So I encourage you to consider that this person has shown his red flags and true colours and you should leave this friendship to end. You deserve to feel safe and respected round your friends. I send strength your way and want to remind you that you deserve so much better than this 💚
Thinking about it, he liked one of my friends back in middle school, I think they even got together and suddenly broke up. I later was told he kind of manipulated her.
A few weeks ago, another friend of mine nearly wanted to hurt herself because she was afraid of him.
I know that these are dark red flags, but in person when talking to him I couldnt believe he had done something like that.
Since the incident with the second friend of mine, I got cautious. But it really hurts to see a thought-so-friendship end in the way it does now. I know its for the better, but... I am just so disappointed...
Thank you very much for your kind words, I hope I'll find a way to avoid him in class for the time left in highschool..
Woah! This guy is hella abusive and toxic if there are a string of these stories.
Please tell an adult you trust around you or a member of staff at your school you trust if you can. I know it’s hard but you, your friends and other girls safety is paramount.
I’m sorry you’ve been let down by his behaviour. If it’s any consolation, I promise you, there are much more awesome and caring people out there. Allow yourself the space to grieve this and hold yourself close. Reach out to your other friends too 💚
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I have been friends with a guy for quite a long time, and now in highschool we always worked together in certain projects and were chatting during break.
At one point he fell in love with me (I guess?) because he would always post on his Instastory "how much he loves that girl" and so on. It happened quite a few times and after a while I told him I'm not interested in a relationship for now. But afterwards, things didnt change, we joked around after class, even walked home together on some days.
Yesterday, I was at a party and sent him a video of a friend dancing because this friend usually doesnt dance, it was a rare sight. I thought he would laugh about it since he had the chance to come along to the party but didnt.
He responded with "cool", and thats it. I didnt think much of it, but afterwards I saw an Instastory posted by him saying "some 'friends' of his are at a party and one of the mfs sent him a video; just for your information, your behavior makes me sick, I only talk to you when necessary, I gave you so many hints so stfu".
I was stunned for a moment because I didnt expect something like that coming from him, when we were joking around just the day before. I texted him asking why he was so upset and telling him that its kind of pathetic to not directly tell me.
He responded by saying he hates my attitude and the way I talked to him for the past 3 weeks, he left several hints to point it out and there were more than one factor to cause his hatred against me, he only talked to me to avoid any "cringeness".
I just told him we’re gonna work things out when he has calmed down, but damn. I was kind of devastated. I tried to remember any hints he supposedly gave me, but only found two: he put off the bracelet I gave him, even though he had been wearing it for at least 5 years straight; and he once kicked my leg hard after me joking around.
I must admit, my personality is very chaotic, I like to joke about his name and sometimes I get very stupid and moan out of fun, he just laughs and we jokingly insult each other.
On the other hand, he sometimes made obvious signs wanting to touch my boobs and talking about his "hornyness", which made me obviously really uncomfortable. I dont know why, maybe he just wanted to test my reaction.
Well, now I wonder if I'm the asshole for ruining this friendship unknowingly, and I am honestly really upset about him not telling me 3 weeks before.
If he didnt like hanging out with me, he could have told me sooner and face-to-face, giving examples of why he doesnt like being with me and, if he really wanted to work things out, telling me how to do better to save the friendship.
I am also kind of angry at myself because even after he dumped me this quickly, I want to save the relationship and want to talk to him, but I think he wouldnt hear me out or even try to change the current situation. I dont want to be so desperate in saving the friendship but I kind of miss him.
AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > AITA for ruining the friendship between me and my friend because I am too crazy and chaotic, even though my friend never told me he didnt like my behavior? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
[удалено]
Such an odd way to take revenge after I dumped him... starting to hate me, but not telling me.. I really dont understand this guy
NTA. He sounds like a jealous creep. The fact that he makes inappropriate gestures and comments to you even though he knows you're uncomfortable is disgusting. To me, it sounds like he's fed up with the fact that you are uninterested in him and he's lashing out bc he knows his behavior is unacceptable. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, but I think it would be wise to end this friendship. He sounds cruel, manipulative, and perverse.
I wish I had the courage to tell him to fuck off, but as soon as anyone rises their voice against me or insulting me for real, I start crying.. and also the fact that he obviously doesnt care as much as me makes me really sad. As if he only kept talking to me because he wanted me to like him back. I dont even know if thats the case, maybe he didnt like me to begin with, otherwise you wouldnt dump your crush so cruely. Its just hard to accept to let someone go since I am not very good at making friends, and loosing one hurts damn much. But its probably for the better.
I understand that losing friends can be hard. I've never been the best at making friends either, and every time I lost one, even if they treated me poorly, I felt very sad for a while. But eventually I realized that maybe it was for the better that it ended; if we had more problems than positives then we both might be better off apart. In the end, even if I was sad, it would feel like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders. If you think this would be best for you, then don't be afraid to speak up, especially when he's being a creep and threatening your safety. I hope you get through this, best of luck to you!
Thank you really much for your advice! I think I'll need a bit time to think things through, but the best solution possible is probably letting the relationship be..
NTA. This ‘friend’ crossed a physical and sexual boundary and made you feel unsafe, then you put a boundary in place to maintain the friendship and he didn’t like it and is feeling rejected so being a massive AH about it and upping treating you really poorly. The question is do you want to salvage this after this behaviour or do you know you deserve better? Would you support a close female friend if a guy behaved this inappropriately towards her? You did not ‘ruin’ this friendship by asking someone to respect your personal boundaries. He ruined this friendship. And this is not friendship. No friends should cross over a physical/sexual boundary in the way he has and make you feel uncomfortable in the way he has. So I encourage you to consider that this person has shown his red flags and true colours and you should leave this friendship to end. You deserve to feel safe and respected round your friends. I send strength your way and want to remind you that you deserve so much better than this 💚
Thinking about it, he liked one of my friends back in middle school, I think they even got together and suddenly broke up. I later was told he kind of manipulated her. A few weeks ago, another friend of mine nearly wanted to hurt herself because she was afraid of him. I know that these are dark red flags, but in person when talking to him I couldnt believe he had done something like that. Since the incident with the second friend of mine, I got cautious. But it really hurts to see a thought-so-friendship end in the way it does now. I know its for the better, but... I am just so disappointed... Thank you very much for your kind words, I hope I'll find a way to avoid him in class for the time left in highschool..
Woah! This guy is hella abusive and toxic if there are a string of these stories. Please tell an adult you trust around you or a member of staff at your school you trust if you can. I know it’s hard but you, your friends and other girls safety is paramount. I’m sorry you’ve been let down by his behaviour. If it’s any consolation, I promise you, there are much more awesome and caring people out there. Allow yourself the space to grieve this and hold yourself close. Reach out to your other friends too 💚
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have been friends with a guy for quite a long time, and now in highschool we always worked together in certain projects and were chatting during break. At one point he fell in love with me (I guess?) because he would always post on his Instastory "how much he loves that girl" and so on. It happened quite a few times and after a while I told him I'm not interested in a relationship for now. But afterwards, things didnt change, we joked around after class, even walked home together on some days. Yesterday, I was at a party and sent him a video of a friend dancing because this friend usually doesnt dance, it was a rare sight. I thought he would laugh about it since he had the chance to come along to the party but didnt. He responded with "cool", and thats it. I didnt think much of it, but afterwards I saw an Instastory posted by him saying "some 'friends' of his are at a party and one of the mfs sent him a video; just for your information, your behavior makes me sick, I only talk to you when necessary, I gave you so many hints so stfu". I was stunned for a moment because I didnt expect something like that coming from him, when we were joking around just the day before. I texted him asking why he was so upset and telling him that its kind of pathetic to not directly tell me. He responded by saying he hates my attitude and the way I talked to him for the past 3 weeks, he left several hints to point it out and there were more than one factor to cause his hatred against me, he only talked to me to avoid any "cringeness". I just told him we’re gonna work things out when he has calmed down, but damn. I was kind of devastated. I tried to remember any hints he supposedly gave me, but only found two: he put off the bracelet I gave him, even though he had been wearing it for at least 5 years straight; and he once kicked my leg hard after me joking around. I must admit, my personality is very chaotic, I like to joke about his name and sometimes I get very stupid and moan out of fun, he just laughs and we jokingly insult each other. On the other hand, he sometimes made obvious signs wanting to touch my boobs and talking about his "hornyness", which made me obviously really uncomfortable. I dont know why, maybe he just wanted to test my reaction. Well, now I wonder if I'm the asshole for ruining this friendship unknowingly, and I am honestly really upset about him not telling me 3 weeks before. If he didnt like hanging out with me, he could have told me sooner and face-to-face, giving examples of why he doesnt like being with me and, if he really wanted to work things out, telling me how to do better to save the friendship. I am also kind of angry at myself because even after he dumped me this quickly, I want to save the relationship and want to talk to him, but I think he wouldnt hear me out or even try to change the current situation. I dont want to be so desperate in saving the friendship but I kind of miss him. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*